


Hometown Smile

by Skyffable



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Alec Lightwood POV, Alec is good at ignoring things, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Attempted Sexual Assault, Awkwardness, BAMF Alec Lightwood, Basically Magnus stumbling from one awkward situation into another, Bi-Curiosity, Blow Jobs, Boys Being Boys, Dancing Magnus Bane, Downworlder racism, Drunken Shenanigans, Dry Humping, Engaged Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Experienced Alec Lightwood, Explicit Sexual Content, Falling In Love, First Times, Fluff, Frotting, Hand Jobs, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Magnus Bane, Jace Wayland Being an Idiot, Jealous Magnus Bane, K-pop References, Kidnapping, Kinda, Lots of sex talks, M/M, Magnus Bane POV, Magnus and Clary are bff's, Magnus is stronger than he thinks, Masturbation, Memory Loss, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Needy Alec Lightwood, Oblivious Magnus Bane, Past Abuse, Plot With Porn, Protective Alec Lightwood, Protective Isabelle Lightwood, Protective Raphael Santiago, Raj is a dick, Rimming, Rough Sex, Secrets, Sharing A Tent, Slow Burn, Smut, Strangers to Lovers, Talk about sexual abuse, Texting, The Seelie Queen is a manipulative bitch, Their love knows no bounds, Violence, Virgin Magnus Bane, Young Magnus Bane, but he means well, but nothing happens, they are so in love it hurts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-10
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2020-08-14 07:47:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 60
Words: 298,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20188786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skyffable/pseuds/Skyffable
Summary: Shortly after his engagement to Alec, Magnus is accidently turned into his younger, 100-year-old self and has to deal with the modern shadow world, a lot of new faces and his own sexuality.Aka A slow burn Malec lovestory with a confident, very persistent Alec and an easily flustered, insecure Magnus.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is my first Malec fic, the idea crept inside my head a few months ago and would stubbornly make itself at home there. I really wanted to explore the young Magnus Bane with all his insecurities; see the difference to the old one and the way he changed. Also, I really wanted to see the group and most of all Alec interact with a same-age Magnus.
> 
> This is Magnus POV mostly but will occasionally switch to Alec since he is a big part of the story as well. It's going to be a mix of fluff, humor, angst and shameless smut later on 😏 I write things very explicitly, you have been warned.
> 
> I will add tags with each chapter, I won't spoil you beforehand. I enjoy writing this so much and wanted to share it with you guys. English is not my first language so there might be mistakes along the way. Try to oversee them 😂 The title is from the song "Hometown Smile" by Bahjat. I listened to it while writing it.
> 
> This story is not about drama and getting the old Magnus back, but about the young Magnus exploring his new life, sexuality and friends while he grows both mentally and in strength and the journey he has with Alec as each other's firsts.
> 
> This is a well plotted and thought through story, be sure that everything happens for a reason, I like things to make sense.
> 
> This first chapter is more of an introduction. The first few following will be bumpy. Remember, slow burn, be patient with them. And now, happy reading 🤗

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something seemed off with his face, but she couldn’t quite put her finger on it. His eyes seemed brighter, his eyebrows higher, his lips fuller, even to her untrained eyes. There were no wrinkles or scars on his face whatsoever. All together he looked just like Magnus, but somehow…younger?
> 
> „Who are you?“ Magnus whispered with a little accent she hadn’t heard on him before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://ibb.co/qmbDRfy)   


„Are you sure about this Fray?“ Simon asked the redhead in front of him almost in a whisper, his hand stretched out towards her as if she was a wild animal he wanted to tame.

Clary nods while chewing her lower lip into her mouth, with a determined look on her petite face. She was holding her stele towards her lower arm; where she was still free of runes.

„So,…“ he started of. „…it will put me back in the past, to my mundane life?“

„Basically.“ She answered quickly without looking at him. „Only for a few hours; you can go roam and see your family.” 

Simons face lit up instantly. This sounded too good to be true. He could go back to his old life, hold his mother again and that was more than he could have ever imagined, he couldn’t wait for it.

Clary had told him about that dream she kept having, seeing the rune and what it would do and he wasn’t thinking twice about it, before he offered himself up to relive his past, if only for a few hours. Though as the minutes ticked by, he started getting more and more nervous, not knowing if she actually knew what she was doing. He trusted her though.

They had decided to meet in the training room of the Institute and gathered up in the far end corner. Most of the Shadowhunters were at lunch at this hour. Alec and Jace were in Alicante for a meeting, with a few others. So, they were sure not to be disturbed much at the moment.

„What if something goes wrong?“

„It won’t.“

„And what if?“

„It won’t.“ She glared at him for a moment and then softened her eyes when she saw the way Simon looked at her, a hint of fear in his eyes. „I promise. Trust me okay?“ He nodded a bit shakily, with a slight smile on his lips and then stood straight like a bowstring; his hands rolled into fists and his eyes clenched, waiting for the blow to happen.

„Simon, relax…“ she chuckled and he opened his right eyes to look at her before closing it straight away. 

„Just do it okay. I’m ready.“ he pushed the words through his gritted teeth.

She licked her lips, still smiling and lowered her look again; drawing the rune she had in her head onto her forearm. It hurt a little but not much. It looked nearly like a music note. She knew exactly what she was doing, she knew what it would do and how it’s done so she wasn’t nervous at all.

„Here you go.“ She gasped satisfied when it started to glow.

A bright string of magic erupted from her arm and drifted into the air, she followed it with her eyes, completely fascinated by it; not noticing the doors to the training room opening on the other side of the room. She didn’t hear the mumble of words, or the steps towards them. Not until the string of magic suddenly jolted towards the right and the doors; her eyes followed; her mouth gaped in surprise. It happened too quick, too quick for her to do anything or even realize what was happening.

A loud groan startled Simon out of his state and he opened his eyes towards the source. 

„What the…“ Not really understanding the sight in front of him. 

It was Magnus, standing a few feet away from them, his arms stretched out stiffly to either side, his head thrown back in a way that didn’t look all to comfortable and completely illuminated by a bright glow surrounding his body. He seemed frozen in that position; while the glow went brighter and brighter. Clary and Simon closed their eyes at the same time and shielded them from the brightness.

Then suddenly it was gone, as quick as it had come. 

The room seemed darker than before when both tried to open their eyes again; blinking a few times and lowering their arms. They needed a few seconds to gather themselves and their thoughts and see anything at all.

„Ah, my eyes…I’m blind.“ Simon shrieked; grabbing his eyeballs. He tried it again and finally could see the outline of a man before him.

„Magnus? Are you okay?“ Clary then spoke and walked towards him with quick steps, stopping in front of him. 

She looked him up and down and back up. He seemed fine. No visible injuries or anything. She sighed relieved and grabbed his upper arm lightly to shake him out of his state. Simon followed her and came closer towards them.

Magnus lowered his head; an almost intolerable headache followed the movement as he hissed and grabbed his forehead painfully hard. He opened his eyes, not knowing he had closed them at all. His eyes went from Clary to Simon and back to Clary, then to the hand on his upper arm, slowly back to Clary where they stayed glued.

„Are you okay?...“ She repeated more soft and lowered her head to look up at him from below her eyelashes.

Something seemed off with his face, but she couldn’t quite put her finger on it. His eyes seemed brighter, his eyebrows higher, his lips fuller, even to her untrained eyes. There were no wrinkles or scars on his face whatsoever. All together he looked just like Magnus, but somehow…younger?

„Who are you?“ Magnus whispered with a little accent she hadn’t heard on him before. 

Her eyes grew comically big as her jaw dropped. She tried to gather herself as quick as possible and shook her head. 

„Magnus, it’s me…Biscuit?...what is wrong?“ She whispered back and took a step forward; he immediately took a step backwards.

He looked back at Simon, then let his eyes roam the room they were in, he looked in every corner, at the ceiling, to the floor, he turned to look at the door, and the soft light that came in through the coloured windows. It was a huge room and it looked weirdly futuristic to him. His eyes were playing him tricks surely; it was all still a bit blurry.

„Where am I?“ his voice was still almost a whisper. His voice seemed frightened and his lips were slightly trembling.

Simon grabbed Clary’s arm and pulled her backwards to him gently and turned to her. „Clary…what is wrong with him? What did you do?“ He asked, not taking his eyes off of Magnus who looked like a frightened deer standing out in the open field looking for a hunter.

„I didn’t do any…I didn’t. I don’t know. My rune, it must have went to Magnus instead of you…“ she murmured back, keeping her voice low so Magnus wouldn’t hear them.

„You said it was safe!“

„I thought so!“

„What do you mean you thought so?“ he stared at her with huge eyes. „You were gonna use that on me!“ He gesticulated wildly until Clary bat his hands down.

„Shhh…don’t startle him.“ Neither of them took their eyes off of the lost man who wandered the training room while they spoke, panic clear in their voices.

„And what do you suggest we do now? He doesn’t seem to remember us. Did you take his memory?“ Simon suggested.

„No I didn’t, that’s not what the rune is for, it was for bringing you back in the past.“ she answered frustrated.

„What about side effects? Do you actually know anything about that rune?“ Simon feared not.

„Of course Simon.“ She said staring him down before continuing. „…at least I thought so…maybe not. Look I don’t know what happened! Oh god…“ she groaned while grabbing her hair and pulling it into every direction. „Alec will kill me Simon. He will literally kill me for this.“ She clutched her hand to her chest and looked like she was about to panic; her other hand rested on her knee as she lowered her body and started to breath loudly. Simon pat her back instantly, trying to soothe his best friend.

„It’s okay. We will find out what happened and take it back. No big deal.“ Simon’s voice was cheerful and he sounded convincing, even though he was panicking on the inside. Neither of them was exactly on the bright side with Alec and neither of them wanted to feel his wrath. 

„We will fix this right away. We just have to see what happened and then we will…uhm what is that friend of Magnus called? The Warlock nurse.“ He asked snapping his fingers.

„Catarina.“ She answered, her body still low, leaning on her knees. Her long red hair framing her face and hanging down.

„You know how they are; they just wave their hands and boom everything’s all right. You’ll see.“ Simon reassured her. Sounding awfully sure in himself; he was quite the good actor.

She lifted herself up, before her eyes went wide and pointed towards the doors. Simon followed her movement. The doors were open and Magnus…was gone.

\---

Magnus left through the doors of the odd-looking room, into the next odd-looking room. Seeing odd-looking things in front of him. The word odd stuck in his head, at whatever he was looking; because really, he couldn’t tell what his eyes were seeing.

It was like blue shimmering squares with writing on it. Everywhere. They flickered occasionally. His hand never left his forehead as he stumbled his way through the ops center. A few Shadowhunters passed him with sceptical looks but none of them said a word. He walked into one of them, who barked at him.

“Hey look where you are walking dude.”

“I pledge your forgiveness good Sir” Magnus returned and the man rose a brow.

Magnus tried to find anything he knew, anything he can relate to, any who. He didn’t really know if he was dreaming right now, but that would definitely explain this weird situation.

He tried to think of the last moment he remembered; he was with his old friend Ragnor, one of his oldest and dearest friends. A Warlock just like him. They had collected a few ingredients from the market down in Peru in the morning hours. For research of course…for nothing alcoholic in anyway. He had sniffed on those pink sticks Ragnor had just bought; the scent still lingered in his nostrils, it was very sweet. What was that? Did it make him hallucinate now?

“Ragnor?!” He exclaimed loudly, which echoed through the room, stopping a few Shadowhunters that walked by. They shook their hands and went on with their business as if seeing something that was nothing new to them.

He heard loud footsteps behind him and people grabbing him by his arms. He tried to get out of their grab instantly, but he was still shaking from what happened and hadn’t enough control over his brain to actual fight or speak really.

“Magnus, follow us okay. It’s all right, we know what to do, we will bring you to Catarina and she will…” Clary began but Magnus stopped the fighting and turned on his heels. Really looking at the redhead before him for the first time. She was rather small and thin, rosy lips and big bambi eyes.

“Catarina Loss? You know Catarina? Where is she?” he asked looking her straight in the eyes.

“Yes, of course…ehm she is gonna be here in a minute, we just called her. We’ll just get to the infirmary okay?” He narrowed his eyes at her words, not getting half of it. But hearing a familiar name calmed him at least a little. And the people in front him didn’t look to intimidating to be honest. They were smaller than him and looked just as confused. And their sense of fashion…was something else he noticed.

Magnus had had a few encounters similar to this one already. His magic was still developing, to say it nicely and it often enough went out of control. Not to speak about his late lust for alcohol and parties to drown all the sorrow he was bearing after what had happened. All together which made him end up in weird situations all the time. But he had to admit, this one was by far the weirdest one yet and he swore never to touch anything alcoholic in his life.

He followed the two strangers, his fingers crossed behind his back, towards a corridor, and another, they turned and walked until they reached yet another odd room. They sat him down and placed him in a stool near the doors.

Magnus took in the sight before him with wide eyes. Realizing he knew nearly nothing of what was before his eyes. He nodded, more to himself, giving in to the thought that he was now losing his mind and accepting his fate like the man he was. He crossed his legs.

A loud scream startled them all, his stool falling to the side with Magnus in it, when a portal opened up right beside him. He quickly realized it was his own scream. He crawled over the floor, trying to get away and hide behind the stranger’s legs; when he suddenly heard a familiar voice.

“Magnus?” He lifted his head and looked through the legs of the brown-haired stranger. It was Catarina. Even though her skin colour and hair looked different he could tell who she was. 

A gasp escaped his lips as he bolted towards his friend to give her a tight embrace. She stumbled back slightly with the force he had and hugged him just as much. She looked rather confused towards Clary and Simon, but rubbed Magnus back all the same and shushing him.

“Hey my dear, you are okay. I’m here.” She soothed him. After a minute or two passed she cupped his face in both her hands and smiled at him with all the love she had; he returned the smile with watery eyes. Simon and Clary watched silently.

“Catarina. I can’t tell you how pleased I am to see you. Look I was with Ragnor a moment ago, then somehow I ended up here in this…this…” He gesticulated around the room. “This.” He ended his speech lamely. “I can’t believe you are here too. How did this happen?”

“I am so very sure Ragnor is involved in this, this old cabbage.” He growled. Then remembered Catarina had come out of some kind of blue circle, he looked over her shoulder to see if it was still there but it was already gone.

Catarina opened her lips slightly with a surprise displayed on her soft face; she looked back at Clary and Simon and back to Magnus. They had told her what happened on the phone but she didn’t really believe it until just now.

“Magnus…what year is it?” She asked as soft as a cushion. She had immediately picked up on his accent and the way he looked, knowing exactly how old he was and from which time he came. But still, she had to make sure.

His brow furrowed for a slight moment.

“1791, why?” The three of them gasped almost simultaneously.  
So, she was right. Sometimes she hated to be always right. She remembered what he had said about Ragnor. He often went with on adventures with Ragnor, visiting Peru before he was banned. She remembered that because she sometimes came along. Ragnor…now dead Ragnor. She would keep that to herself for as long as possible. Being in the here and now must be a shock to Magnus, with all these new things around him. He wasn’t telling, but she could tell in the way he was holding onto her arms with such a force that it hurt. He was scared out of his mind. Catarina didn’t mind it one bit. She would be there for him, always, just like he had always been there for her.

“Magnus, listen. Nobody will hurt you I promise, they are kind people.” She said wanting to calm him somehow. She sounded like a mother talking to her son. He relaxed his fingers slightly.

“We will get this fixed in no time my dearest friend. I will take care of it.” She smiled in the genuine way she always did and it did calm him. At least a little.

“What happened?” He asked again after now realizing this is no dream and he was in fact right there.

“I…we don’t know yet. But we will fix it. I promise, okay? We will get you back in no time.” She rubbed his upper arms up and down.

Magnus was very sure that Ragnor was behind this, but couldn’t really tell why. He hoped he would see him again very soon to ask him, before casting the worst spells on him that came to his mind.

“What about you? Won’t you come with me?” He asked rather confused, but she changed the topic swiftly.

“Magnus, could you do me a favour and sit down for a moment? I would like to check up on you.” She said pushing him towards the Infirmary bed slightly. He obeyed without a complaint, because he trusted her completely and sat down. She pushed him back gently to lie down and so he did.

“Rest dear.” She whispered before she lifted her hand to cast a spell above him, making him fall asleep without a warning.

“So…lunch anyone?” Simons voice broke the awkward silence that had settled between the three. Clary shot him a look.

“What?” He asked back shrugging.

“Actually, I am starving” Catarina chimed in.

\---

The three of them sat at the cafeteria. Eating in complete silence as all of them seemed to think about the situation and how to solve it or what had happened at all. They had left Magnus in the Infirmary to sleep, knowing he wouldn’t wake up for another few hours. They really just needed a break to get their heads clear.

“I know, I know” a loud cheerful voice startled them as Izzy turned around the corner of the doorway, seemingly answering someone, with a tray in her hands. She was in her usual sexy, black gear, her hair open and swinging from one side to the other.

“Heeeeey” she sounded excited and nearly ran towards them, sitting next to Simon and giving him a kiss on the cheek. “I didn’t know you were going to be here? I would have come earlier.” She placed her tray on the table and began eating away, her mouth full while speaking. “What are you guys doing here anyway?” Simon chuckled nervously and looked at Clary, then Catarina and back at his food, murdering the broccoli with his fork.

Catarina finally gave in, since Clary and Simon didn’t seem to have the need to answer her.

“Clary and Simon had called me to help, with a minor problem.”

“A minor problem? What kind of?” she licked her lips. “Can I help?”

Clary placed her water down. “If you can turn back time maybe.” she answered, frustration clear in her voice.

“Turn back time? What happened, tell me?” She leaned on the table to have a proper look at Clary, Simon leaned back a bit to give her a good view, happy to not have to tell the story. She sounded rather excited.

“So…I have this new rune.” She began.

“A new rune? Oh, show me.” She did. “It’s so pretty Clary. What does it do?”

“Apparently not what it should…” Simon answered for her lifting his eyebrows at his friend and Clary elbowed him right in the side.

“Ouch…thanks.”

“It should have worked…okay, so a few hours ago Simon and I wanted to try this new rune, to bring him back into his past, only for a few hours, so he could be with his family. But then Magnus turned up and I somehow put a spell on him and brought the younger version of himself into this time and he has no memory of us and I am so sorry okay I didn’t know this would happen. I was sure it would go a different way and…” she rambled without a breath.

“What?” Izzy asked with a smile on her face and blinking a few times before looking at her boyfriend and then back at Clary. “Are you serious?” her smile faded slightly.

“Unfortunately, yes.”

“Where is he?” she asked instantly.

“We left him in the infirmary.” Simon replied.

“You what?” Izzy gasped.

“He is asleep. We needed a break okay! We needed to think.” Clary answered frustrated.

“And what are you going to do?” Izzy tried again.

Clary now looked at Catarina to answer for her, because really, she had no idea.

Catarina had thought about this for a while now. 

“Magnus seems to be in a state of shock still, it is important we don’t startle him too much or else he will probably go insane, there is only so much someone can take before breaking…in fact it’s a surprise he hasn’t yet…” she trailed off.

“Until we find out what that rune is and how to solve this, we should keep it to a minimum. No shocking news, no speaking of the future, in fact, you should probably not tell him that you know him at all and that he is from the past. Get him used to this, to this world and to you in his own pace. He doesn’t know he is in the future and I don’t know how he would take it. Also, it’s better we have an eye on him at all times, he should stay in the Institute for now.” She ended her speech with a sigh.

They all looked at her, not really knowing whether to like the idea or not but they had to trust her. She knew him best and she knew magic best.

“He will probably think he is stuck in another dimension. And I suppose that’s for the better.” Catarina nodded to no one in particular and then got up. “I will go and see what I can do, I have never seen magic like this, but if there is a way to turn it back…I will find it. I think it’s for the better I don’t stick around too much, it might confuse him. Please do take care of Magnus and remember my words. Be gentle. Call me whenever you need me, I will answer right away at all times. Give him my love please.” She smiled warily and then left the bunch through a portal.

\---

When Magnus opened his eyes again, the headache returned without mercy. He grabbed his head again and looked around himself. He was still in that bright, white room, he looked to the side to see a brown-haired girl sitting beside him with a soft smile on her bright red lips. She was beautiful he noticed right away and straightened himself as good as possible to not look like a wrinkled potato. 

“Hello” He greeted rather quiet.

“Hey.” She answered and kept that look on her eyes. It somehow made him uncomfortable and warm…that was some stare she had there.

“Do I know you?” He asked.

“I’m Isabelle. Isabelle Lightwood.” She answered and pushed her hand towards him. He took it, shaking it.

“I’m Magnus Bane.” He returned and then clutched his fingers to his forehead again.

“Are you having a headache?” She asked instantly and got up to grab a water and a pill.

“No, I…well yes a little.” She handed him what she gathered and he took it.

“Swallow it.” He did as she said because really what did he have to lose at this point. And then drank the water. “It will be gone in a moment.”

“Thank you. Where are those…there were people…Catarina! Where is Catarina?” he sat up straighter.

“She had to leave but she sends her regards, she will be back as soon as possible.” Izzy answered kindly.

“Where did she go?” Magnus asked liking this no bit.

“Trying to find a way to…help you.” She answered, not really knowing what to tell him and how. She still stared at him in that creepy way.

“Can you tell me where I am, Isabelle?”

“Of course” She began, shaking herself out of it. “You are at the Shadowhunters New York’s Institute. In the Infirmary to be exact.”

“Shadowhunters.” he mumbled to himself then saw her runes at last. They were all across her body. Marking every centimetre of her beautiful skin. His eyes stuck on the rune on her cleavage for a second or two before he took them off, before she would notice. He wasn’t really attracted to the brunette but he could appreciate beautiful things when he saw them and she really was a beauty. From head to toe.

He lifted himself up more to sit properly, his legs hanging from the bed; it was that moment that he noticed what he was wearing.

He wore black pants with white stripes, shiny black boots, a red vest with a black button up shirt beneath. Necklaces were dangling from his neck, quite a few. Bracelets as well. He then lifted his hands to look at them and saw more rings than he can count and also what startled him the most, painted red fingernails. He rolled his fingers inside to hide them right away. That must have been part of Ragnor’s spell to humiliate him. Instantly he was thinking about ways of payback and had an evil little laugh escape his lips quietly. His shoulders jerked lightly while laughing.

“Magnus? Are you okay?” Izzy asked hearing the weird noises.

He stopped, realizing he wasn’t alone and turned to face the brunette again.

“Yes, of course, thank you.” He got up, still hiding his hands behind his back. A slight blush creeped up his caramel cheeks.

“So, Magnus” another voice broke the silence as the redhead from before returned with her dog on trail.

Simon went to stand beside Izzy and put his arm around her shoulders.

All righty then, he thought to himself, seeing that beautiful girl was obviously taken, not that he was interested and relaxed visibly, bringing his hands out of its hiding before turning back to the redhead. 

“Biscuit it was?” he asked oddly calm.

She stared at him for a moment, before shaking her head with a laugh, remembering she had introduced herself with Biscuit before. 

“Clary. It’s Clary. I have a suggestion for you. I know you don’t know us, but we can promise you will be safe here with us for the time being, so I suggest you stay here as long as you wish, we have an empty room upstairs.” Her voice sounded desperate somehow.

He thought about it for a moment, before nodding.

This was probably for the best…and to be honest what choice did he have. He didn’t know where he was, apparently in New York. He has never been to New York; he had always wanted to visit though so maybe that was a good opportunity. Maybe everything wasn’t as bad as it seemed. He was in another dimension, with people he doesn’t know and things that look fishy, in a weird clown’s outfit. Yes, life was great.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading the first chapter 🤗 The first ones are more of an introduction to the story as I said before, it will turn into Magnus POV within the next chapters. Lets see how Magnus processes this new "world". I hope you enjoyed it! Leave a kudo if you liked it! Also, please write a comment and tell me what you think, I appreciate the feedback a lot and love to hear from you 😁 I will reply to all.
> 
> You can also find me on Twitter: @Skyffable use #HometownSmilefic if you wanna chat about it. Next chapter will be up soon. Much love. 🤗


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Odd…he thought and then started eating his breakfast, nearly chocking on the first bite. He quickly took a handkerchief and coughed; rubbing his mouth with it and getting rid of that food. He placed it down and looked back at Clary with horror.
> 
> “By Lilith, what is this?”
> 
> “Breakfast?” She asked shrugging and eating that food from hell seemingly without a care. She must be tougher than she looks.
> 
> He took the apple and ate it. That one was fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://ibb.co/y5pSKmf)

Magnus woke up in a very, very, very uncomfortable bed. Or rather table. At least that’s how it felt. He has never slept as bad as that night. His whole back ached from the pain; at least it overpowered his still lingering headache. He peeled his eyes open to the sun shining through the thick curtains to his right. He looked around himself for a moment, wondering where he was, before remembering the events of the past day; he let his head fall back into the pillows with a groan.

He got up and slurted towards the bathroom like a 100-year-old man; holding his back. His knees bent. Really that bed was trying to kill him. After washing up and doing his morning duties he dressed in the same outfit as the night before. There really wasn’t anything else. He even put on the rings and necklaces again because he didn’t want to lose them. He thought if he would get back to his dimension today, he rather be just the way he was before. Just to be sure.

Clary had spent the past evening showing him the Institute and most of the rooms, saying where everything was placed. Also, where her and Izzy’s room were. Apparently, Simon was not sleeping here. She told him about the things he didn’t know. He didn’t get half of it, but was grateful for the help. Clary really seemed rather nice and he didn’t quite understand why she was this nice to him in the first place. Surely, they knew he was a Warlock? Or maybe not? He had never met Shadowhunters as nice as them really. But then again, he hadn’t met many Shadowhunters at all. Apart from the Silent Brothers but that was a whole other story.

The room she gave him was not big, but not small either. It was just fine. A little dark and dusty but that was okay. There was a chair next to the door, also a weirdly huge multi-coloured painting hanging on the wall. There was a queen-sized bed next to the window on the other side of the room. The blue and white bedding as well as the padded headboard made the bed look luxurious and comfortable. And it was at first; until the bedsprings had melted into his back at night. He would never trust a good-looking bed ever again.  
There also was a table, a closet and a bathroom near the window. The bathroom was completely equipped with everything one could need. Magnus had magicked up his own toothbrush and shower utensils though.

So, he knew where to go, when he went to have breakfast. 6am she had said when she had placed a clock on his nightstand. He made his way down the long corridors, trying to remember which way to go.

He stood in line with the other men and women, bouncing on his feet a little. He noticed the looks they gave him and he noticed the murmurs but didn’t think much of it. He offered them a nod with a smile, but they never returned it. He grabbed a tray and took the food; taking the same stuff everyone else was taking, just to not attract too much attention. It didn’t work all too well, everyone seemed to stare him down.

Why? Well, he was dressed like he was about to pull out his bagpipes and dance away any second. Maybe that’s why. It wasn’t that he thought the clothing was ugly, far from it, he saw how perfectly made it was, the rich fabrics and colour; he just never wore stuff like that before and felt really awkward as he everyone else dressed in only black. They seemed to have some kind of fashion codex.

He strolled towards the entrance of the cafeteria and looked for familiar faces. He gulped as he noticed everyone staring at him and the room going quiet. A quick frown passed his face, before he pulled the edges of his lips up and nodded at everyone of them politely, while walking down the narrow corridor between the large wooden tables; he didn’t know these people and he would never see them again once he was back in his rightful place. So, what does it matter?

He finally saw a familiar face on the left side of the room; next to a huge window. The red hair shining like the sun in the very dark room with all these black clothed people. Maybe it was in fact the sun shining on her hair through the window. He rushed the last few steps and then sat down quickly. Slamming his tray on the table.

“Good Morning Biscuit.” He greeted her.

Clary’s head shot up when she heard the words.

“Shall I call you Clary?” he corrected thinking he did something wrong.

“No…No! It’s fine really. I was just…it’s fine.” she stuttered.

Odd…he thought and then started eating his breakfast, nearly chocking on the first bite. He quickly took a handkerchief and coughed; rubbing his mouth with it and getting rid of that food. He placed it down and looked back at Clary with horror.

“By Lilith, what is this?”

“Breakfast?” She asked shrugging and eating that food from hell seemingly without a care. She must be tougher than she looks.

He took the apple and ate it. That one was fine. 

“Good morning you two” another voice said and Isabelle took her seat beside Clary.

“Good morning Isabelle. Did you sleep well?” he asked in return and she smiled even brighter. 

“Indeed, I did.”

“And how? That bed is torture.” He made a face and she laughed. “You’ll get used to it.” They ate in silence for a moment. 

“So, Simon?” He then asked. “Is he?”

“My boyfriend? Yes.” Izzy grinned and nodded eagerly.

“Interesting.” He murmured, seriously asking himself how that dorky looking guy got himself a woman like that. He must be a very lucky guy.

“Do you have a boyfriend?” Magnus asked Clary; because really…he was over the top curious, all the time and he couldn’t help it. If he was trapped in this, he might as well have a little fun. And he didn’t like the silence all too much.

“Yes, I do have a boyfriend. His name is Jace. He is Izzy’s brother actually.” She answered kindly, rather taken aback by his open manner, asking intimate questions like this right away.

“Oh, neat.” He answered while chewing on his apple. “So, he is a Shadowhunter as well? Does he live here too?”

“Well, yes he does, he is currently in a meeting in Alicante with Alec…” She stopped herself realising what she had said, while Izzy gave her a glare for bringing up Alec. 

“Alec?” Magnus asked, curiously, instantly feeling the tension rise between the girls; like it was a topic they didn’t mean to bring up.

Clary swallowed her food down and placed her fork on the table.

“Alec is…another brother of Izzy. And also, the Head of the Institute.” She explained.

“Oh really. How many brothers do you have?” He asked with a laugh. Izzy was glad for that change of topic.

“3 actually. Alec is my older brother, Max my younger brother. Jace he is, he is adopted but my brother nonetheless.”

“3 wow. I hope they always treated you nice when growing up, I heard brothers can be a pain in the ass.” Not that he would know. She laughed and nodded.

“Yes, they were really nice…most of the time. Well, Jace was trouble sometimes, but Alec…Alec is very sweet.” She worshipped, looking up at Magnus in a way he didn’t quite understand.

It was weird for both of them, to talk with Magnus like they wouldn’t know each other. They had spent so much time together, gone through so many things, wars, emotions, break ups and now they had to start from the beginning, but Magnus was making it all too easy for them; he seemed to get along better than them, better than they would have though. He seemed collected and cheerful even, smiling now and then. Maybe this wasn’t the first time something like that happened to him?

Magnus drank his coffee silently while watching the girls chatter with each other. He wondered why they wouldn’t ask any questions back but shrugged it off. Not everyone was as talkative as him.

When suddenly a ringing disturbed the silence. Magnus whole body twitched to the sound, not knowing what that was.

“Sorry, I’m sorry. My phone.” Izzy said quickly to calm him and got it out, showing it to him for a moment before looking at the caller ID. Alec. She gulped and then answered the call. 

“Hey brother, how are you doing?” She asked with a smile. “Who?” She answered when Alec asked her if she had seen Magnus because he wasn’t answering his calls. “Oh, of course yes, I didn’t get you there.” She answered his short rant on the other end and slightly turned the other way on her stool. 

“Yes, he is right with us...ehm yes…yes…we are ehm, in a restaurant eating…ehm...Italian...yes…no he is on the toilet. Look Alec I have to order, bye.” She hung up, knowing her ramble didn’t make sense at all, while her heartbeat was alarmingly fast. She instantly knew this was going to be trouble. She gave Clary a look who understood right away.

“We’ll be right back.” She nearly shouted pulling Clary after her and retreating to another room in a hurry.

“Clary they will be back tomorrow.” She nearly screamed.

“I know! Urgh.”

“What are we gonna do? Should we tell them before?” Izzy asked nervously.

“No, I can’t…really…I am not ready.” Clary answered panicking again and waved some air against her bright red face with her hands.

“Alec has to know.”

“I knooooooow.” She groaned turning around and walking back and forth. She felt nauseous. 

“He is starting to get suspicious, because Magnus is not answering his calls.” Izzy explained.

“Well, we still have until tomorrow to figure something out, right?”

“Right.”

“Izzy?...”

“No way.” Izzy answered right away, knowing exactly what Clary was going to ask.

“But you are his sister! He will take it better from you I know it.” She pleaded.

“This is your mess Clary.” She said not unkindly.

“But he hates me already…” she groaned.

“He doesn’t hate you Clary. He is just…well. Alec.” Izzy shrugged and curled up her nose.

“I practically erased his fiancé Izzy. He will cut me into a thousand pieces, before throwing me to the dogs…AND stabbing my remains with an arrow afterwards.”

“Now you are being overdramatic…he will not stab you.” Izzy tried her most apologetic look.

“Great.” 

They looked back into the cafeteria where Magnus was still sitting looking into their direction, they waved and grinned suspiciously before going back to the chat.

“Okay Clary, I will tell him.” She finally gave in with a sigh.

“Really? Oh, by the angel, thank you so much Izzy, thank you thank you thank you.” She nearly jumped with joy.

“I hate you.” Izzy stated without emotion.

“No, you love me.”

“Okay, I hate that I love you!”

\---

Magnus looked around himself while playing with his fork. He noticed that the people there were still watching him like hawks and it started to make him very uncomfortable. He felt heat crawling up his expensive vest. He got up with his tray in hands and brought it back to where he had it from, walking straight forward through the rooms, it got warmer under his shirt, he tugged on it rapidly to get some cool air on his chest but it didn’t seem to work. His walk got quicker and his breath stuttered slightly.

He didn’t even notice he was running until it happened, he pushed the heavy doors of the Institute open and ran down the steps and into the garden on the side.

He needed to get out, he needed fresh air, he needed to breath properly.

He was pulling off his vest with trembling hands and threw it aside before walking back and forth, grabbing his face and then is hair, which was soft and hanging down. He bent his knees and crouched above the ground for a second, focusing on his breathing, as his collected attitude crumbled into a thousand pieces.

He was not having a break down, not at all.

“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!” a loud shout echoed through the garden and across the city, which made a few birds fly away in an instant.

Suddenly everything that had happened before seemed to hit him right in the face. He was trying his best to hide his emotions and he usually succeeded, he didn’t know what was going on with him right now, it was just all too much at the moment and he felt like he was going to faint.

What was going on? Where was Ragnor? Why did he do this? Who are those people? Why him? Why am I laughing? He questioned after realising he was in fact laughing now, madly.

He wanted to see someone familiar. Why did Catarina leave him so soon? He desperately needed to speak to someone he knew, talk about everything that had happened or be comforted. He wasn’t someone to be easily scared or in need of comfort, but this situation was just overwhelming. For a slight second he even wished his father was there to hold him; he pushed that thought away immediately with a disgust on his face. Was he really that desperate? Well…yes.

He fell backwards onto the grass and just lay there in silence for a few minutes…or hours?

He opened his eyes again, it was already dawn, it was pretty dark. He must have fallen asleep right there. Weird, that had never happened. Well, he was having a lot of firsts at the moment. His body seemed to be exhausted still from whatever he was experiencing and needed the sleep. How much time had passed? It must have been hours.

He darted his eyes aside and twitched.

There was a man sitting on a bench right beside him, dressed in black, that must be the usual fashion here, one leg folded above the other, one arm rested on the back of the bench casually; he looked down at him kindly. The man had short dark hair, dark eyes and a pale taint. He looked pretty young, even younger than Magnus.

The silence was rather awkward.

“Well, hello?” Magnus asked, still lying on the grass, not moving a limb.

“Feeling better?” The man asked in a very calm and quiet voice.

“What are you talking about?” Magnus asked confused. Feeling better?

“I heard your scream from a mile away.” He said smiling. Magnus blushed. Great.

“I’ve just…I needed to get out some steam.”

“I figured.” He answered emotionless.

“Have you been sitting there and watching me sleep?” Magnus asked wondering if he should maybe get away from that creep right now. 

“No, I came here to check on you after I heard your deafening scream.” He began. “I didn’t think you’d be out here though, to be honest. I’ve seen you do strange things Magnus, but this really is something new.”

Magnus…he said Magnus.

“You know me?” he asked nervously.

Raphael quirked a brow. “Did you hit your head?” the man asked. Magnus lifted his hand to his head. It still hurt, but no he didn’t get hit as far as he remembered.

“I just needed some fresh air, so I went outside. I fell asleep.” he answered as if it was a plausible explanation. That happens all the time right.

The other guy opened his mouth like he was about to ask something, but then stopped himself and shook his head. Letting it slip. “You don’t have to tell me.” He got up and then walked past him and towards the Institute. Magnus followed him with his eyes, moving his head until the guy was gone.

He looked back up at the sky and the stars above him, they looked pretty tonight. And it somehow seemed very familiar to him. At least that was a sight he knew very well.

He moved his limps to get the blood back in them and then slowly got up before he saw people running towards him. It was Clary and Isabelle, both looking completely off.

“Oh my god Magnus, we have been looking everywhere for you!” Clary nearly shouted and Isabelle nodded out of breath.

“Everywhere? I was right here in front of the door. You didn’t seem to have gone far.” Magnus answered pointing towards the flat grass he has been lying in for hours now. Wondering for a slight second if anyone else had seen him lying there.

“Well…” Clary said shrugging. “Maybe not everywhere. Next time you could tell us where you’ll go! Or take a phone with you!” Magnus furrowed his brow at the phone part. A what again?

“I am an adult; I can go wherever I want to go.” He said defensively. He didn’t need to explain himself to them. They behaved like they were his parents and really they didn’t look much older than him, he would even say younger. How old were they? 20? 23? He might be their age physically and maybe mentally, but he was a centuries old warlock after all. He crossed his arms in front of his chest.

“What have you been doing out here?”

“I just needed some fresh air and apparently, I fell asleep. Then there was this weird looking guy.”

“Raphael? Yes, he told us you were out here lying on the ground and being odd.”

“Raphael? Who is he?” his curiosity peaked again.

“He is the leader of the New York’s vampire clan.” Clary explained.

“He is a vampire? I didn’t notice.” Yes, he should have run. “He seemed to know me?”

Clary gaped at him for a moment. “Yes, well we told all the downworld leaders about you and what had happened, just in case.” She lied through her teeth to find an explanation for his question.

He apparently took the bait, because he shrugged and then walked past them, back inside the Institute. The two of them followed. Magnus told them that he really needed some rest and would like to just go to his room, to which they happily agreed. They still didn’t really know how to treat him properly and had no solution for tomorrow and that gave them more time to think.

\---

The moment he entered the room, he stopped in front of the floor long mirror and stared at himself for the first time since everything had happened. His eyes roamed over the weird costume he was wearing. He looked like some noble man that would greet you at the entrance of an enchanted castle. He appreciated the fine fabrics for a moment, shaking it off he began stripping, not in a sexy way, he just got it all off, including his boots, rings and necklaces and kept looking at himself. He huffed before his eyes grew wide and he bent forwards to have a better view in the mirror, grabbing it by each side roughly.

Was he wearing make up?! Has he been like that all the time? Why did nobody tell him? Well that explained the odd looks he received. He tried to rub it off instantly and smudged it below his eyes and lips. Well great.

He let his fingers run down the thin goatee he sported. This was new. He didn’t know whether to like it or not.

His eyes darted aside, seeing something hanging on his ear. “What the…?” He said to himself before ripping that thing off with a loud growl. Someone should have told him it was attached. God damnit. 

He looked at himself for a few more minutes, holding his bleeding ear in one hand. His face smudged. He huffed again.

He turned to walk to his bed when he saw the man from before standing in his doorway, leaning against it.

“Fuck!” he shouted. “You scared me! Are you some kind of ninja? And would you maybe turn around? Don’t you have some decency?” Magnus gestured a circle motion with his finger but the other didn’t seem to mind him at all.

Raphael chuckled quietly and then walked towards Magnus with determination in his eyes, who backed off a few steps, out of instinct. But Raphael was quicker and grabbed his ear, not roughly, Magnus tried to pull away but it didn’t really work.

“Stop it.” Magnus ordered; his command reaching deaf ears.

The other man hissed.

“Don’t touch me!” Magnus voice grew louder.

“Magnus, will you just…” he said batting his hands down and clearly losing his patience. Magnus stopped and let him do whatever he was doing. Giving in to his fate.

“It’s not deep. It’s just a slight cut.” Raphael murmured and then retreated.

Magnus stared at him like he was an alien. What had just happened? Did he just check on his wound? How did he know…oh yes, he is a vampire. Smelling blood and all. Magnus remembered. But who allowed him to touch him like that? He eyes Raphael with caution.

“They told me what happened.” He then said in a very calm voice. His face showing affection? “Are you going to be okay?” He asked nicely. It was the first time Magnus had the time to really look at him, he had soft features; big brown eyes, pink lips and a little scar on the cheek. He didn’t look that intimidating from up close.

“If you don’t want to be around the Shadowhunters, you could come with me.”

Magnus blinked a few times, immediately regretting his thoughts about the ‘not that intimidating part’. Yes, go with the stranger, pffft why not. No harm done. Really, what was that guy thinking.

“Look, ehm Raphael? I don’t know you or…what you are trying to do here, but I am fine okay. I’m a…” he began not knowing if he should say that he was a Warlock.

“I just want you to be save.” Raphael stated in slow motion.

This got creepier with each second.

“Why?” That was all that Magnus could think of really.

“Because, I owe you…” He answered not looking away. Silence filled the room for a moment.

“Allllllll right, thanks for visiting.” Magnus quickly went on and shoved the man out of his room and closed the door behind him. Leaning against it for a second to wait for the footsteps, to hear if he was gone. There were none. Was he still standing there? Was he going to stay?

Magnus locked the door. Better be save.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Our poor Magnus has a long and bumpy road ahead of him. With a lot of creeps around. I know you're waiting for Alec's arrival, don't worry, he's gonna be there sooner than later. 😎🤗


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Alec, it wasn’t my intention, I’m sorry. We just…,” the blond one began explaining desperately but the taller guy shut him up.
> 
> “Enough!” Alec shot back with such force that it had Magnus trembling. Jace backed off immediately, regret on his face.
> 
> So, that was Alec. Magnus couldn’t bring out a single word as he watched the dramatic and rather confusing scene unfold in front of his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://ibb.co/RHyjz3t)

Again, Magnus awoke with a groan and an ache jolting through his whole body. That damn bed, maybe he was better off on the ground. In fact, he should try it. There was a light grey rug surrounding the bed, he could nestle in just fine. He went to do his morning routine, cleaning his face off his make up as well, he left the goatee as it was, thinking he looked a bit older with it. He then realised he had nothing to wear, he could not pull on those clothes again, or could he? He looked at the lump on his floor and saw the pants covered in grass. Maybe not. He folded the clothes, for whatever reason and put them on the table.

He noticed a little note lying on the ground in front of his door and walked towards it lifting it up. 

‘Try them on, they should fit.’ The note read. The writing was elegant and curved, one of the girls must have written it. He went to open the door.

There was a box in front of it; well they could have placed it a little closer to the door really.

He grabbed his jewels with one hand; barely hiding anything and tip toed his naked body across the hallway to gather the box and lifted it up with one arm rather gracelessly, before turning and seeing a tall guy with blond curls looking his way.

Magnus froze instantly.

“Good Morning.” Magnus then greeted with a smile and the other one smiled back at him. Even brighter.

“Well, Good morning to you too…” the guy replied rather cheerful, Magnus didn’t really know why.

After a moment of awkward silence, he turned slowly and retreated back to his room without another word and locked the door again.

He tried on the clothes, they were all black, surprise. They fitted rather good, maybe a little tight here and there, the owner seemed to be a bit shorter than him. The muscle shirt stuck to his upper body like a second skin and the pants seemed to get sucked in his ass crack at that exact moment. Well, it had to do. It was either that or naked.

He put his boots from before back on, also the ring with the M on it, he rather liked it but wouldn’t say it out loud. He ruffled his hair up with some water, being frustrated it kept falling back in place. Damn fine hair; he said to himself. He contemplated drawing some runes on himself to not gather any more attention, but then waved the idea off. 

He went outside the room, looking for the blond guy, he wasn’t there anymore. He went the usual way to the cafeteria and stood with the others as before. To his frustration he received even more odd looks from the others than yesterday. But he was in all black? Why was he being punished like this. Nobody dared to speak to him though for some odd reason.

He took some fruits and placed them on the tray along with a coffee. He didn’t give the other food that was offered a single glance.

He walked down the hall towards the table from yesterday; when he noticed someone else sitting beside the redhead. It was a blond guy, he looked bulky and tall; they seemed to know each other from the looks they gave each other.

Jace, he recalled, that brother of Izzy. Clary’s boyfriend. That must be him.

The table went quiet as Magnus appeared next to them with a smile on his face. Their heads shot up. Jace’s eyes were huge and his mouth was slightly open. He then gulped visibly while checking him out.

“I see, my clothes fit.” He then said with a smile on his face which he visibly fought back down, it wasn’t working, it kept creeping up his face until he had to lower his head and hid it in his hand.

“Jace!...” Clary scolded him. “I’m sorry Magnus. You look great.”

“It’s fine.” Magnus answered kindly and smiled. He knew he looked weird. He sat down next to Izzy.

“I am Magnus.” He offered his hand. Jace grabbed and shook it roughly and then pulled it back.

“Jace.” He mumbled chewing. There it was again. He had seen that stare on Izzy on their first day. It was a creepy, weird stare, they all seemed to give him for whatever reason.

He noticed the guy had different eye colours; it looked pretty. Blue and brown. Again, he appreciated beauty.

“You are Izzy’s brother?”

“Yes, that I am. And you are the rogue warlock from another dimension.”

Rogue? Warlock?

“So…you know?” He whispered.

They didn’t really know what he was referring to at that moment. Magnus didn’t know if the fact they knew made him feel more or less comfortable. When they knew why were they so nice towards him? From all he knew they hated warlocks. They didn’t seem scared of him in any way. But then again, everything seemed weird at the moment. This was a weird situation.

Clary had filled him in the moment Jace stepped into the Institute. And he took it rather well. He was confused, but it wasn’t the first time Clary had done something completely stupid; he wouldn’t tell her though. They always ended up fixing it, so this time it won’t be any different. Alec was still in Alicante for a short time; after all he had more duties than Jace. Which again, gave them another few hours to think of how to explain it all.

They all seemed on edge, for a reason Magnus didn’t know apparently. It was visible in their faces and their breaths.

“How was Alicante?” Magnus broke the silence. He had always been fascinated with the city and its tales, but never had anyone to ask really. He was also very happy to change the topic away from him being a warlock. He took a sip of his coffee and grimaced, the coffee was awfully bitter. They seemed to like it bitter and disgusting. He snapped his fingers to have mild and a lot of sugar appear in his cup.

“It was good. Business and all, so…mostly boring but I always liked going back there.”

“Is it true that, there are angels flying around the city?” Magnus eyes sparkled.

“What?” He asked laughing. “Who told you that?” You could hear the amused irritation on his voice.

Magnus lowered his eyes back to the table cursing his old green friend. He still noticed the blond’s eyes on him. Watching him.

“Do I have something on my face?” Magnus inquired.

“No…you just look. Yeah…” Jace answered, not really answering anything. “Young.”

“Young?” why would anyone point that out so randomly? Well you do look young yourself…so?

“How old are you?” Jace asked and Clary gave him another look.

“I’m 400 years old.” Magnus lied proudly through his teeth.

“Bullshit.” Jace snorted.

“Okay, 300.”

“Not buying it.”

“200!” he shouted.

“Getting close.” Magnus started to get annoyed with this blond brother. 

Magnus mumbled under his breath and stabbed his berries. Jace laughed, until he saw Clary glaring at him. What? He mouthed and she shook her head. 

Jace rather enjoyed that version of Magnus, he seemed more like his league, like he could have fun with him.

Magnus didn’t like that brother of Izzy. He seemed cocky and more like a bully. Just keep away from him.

Izzy and Clary got up and excused themselves, saying they still had things to do. Like how to tell Alec. Which they didn’t say of course. Which left Magnus alone with Jace. Jace smirked at him from the other side, while chewing.

“Do you want to train?” Magnus looked up without moving his head.

“Train?”

“Yes, we could spar.”

“Spar?” he repeated like a parrot.

“Don’t you know what sparring is?” Jace looked confused.

“Of course, I know what sparring is…but why should we?”

“I don’t know. For fun. I usually do that with Alec but he’s not here so.” The blond guy shrugged as if it was obvious.

He didn’t want to come across rude, so he agreed. What has he gotten himself into now?

\---

“Is it okay if you use your magic while we’re at it? I always wanted to try it, but I never dared to ask yo…ehm to ask a warlock.” Jace blurted out once they had entered the narrow but wide training room.

Magnus rose his eyebrows and snorted.

“Do you want to die little shadowhunter?”

Jace laughed loudly and circled him. Yes, he liked that Magnus. He got rid of his jacket and threw it aside.

Really what was that guy thinking? He was clearly superior to him in strength, maybe he liked the pain?

Jace pulled out two daggers from out of nowhere and activated them. “Show me what you got.” He got into position. 

Magnus shook his head lightly, smiling. That fool.

He waved his hands in a quick motion and threw a small ball of blue magic his way; which he dodged easily. Magnus huffed. He created another ball and threw it his way with more force now. He dodged that one as well. That little bugger.

He did it again, the ball bigger this time and Jace threw it back with his dagger easily and laughed. “That’s fun.”

Magnus created another one right away, and another one and another one until he was panting heavily. The balls turned into lightning that shot Jace way; he still dodged it all with ease. At one point, Magnus began growling and shouting behind his magic; anger rising in him. His eyes shimmering in a golden-green colour as his mark made its way to the surface. He wasn’t in any control at the moment.

He was doing the best he could; but he never managed to hit the shadowhunter. How was that possible. It was frustrating him immensely. All that anger and confusion and frustration building up in him. About the fight, the situation, just everything. He began to sweat, as was the other one.

He really wanted to hurt him at that point. And get that smirk out of his face. He just wanted to hit him, just once. He shot his arms up and curled them around in an elegant move; jumping in the air and then launching his magic towards Jace with a loud shout; finally hitting the shadowhunter right in the abdomen.

He flew back a few feet and landed on the floor with a loud thud. Magnus stopped instantly and held out his hand towards Jace, though far away. He didn’t mean to do that, not seriously; he felt awful.

“Jace?” he asked, regret filled his voice; but before he could muster an apologize, the shadowhunter lifted himself back on his feet with a jump and ran towards Magnus.

Confusion still lingering, Magnus just lifted his arms, crossing them in front of his chest in a defensive manner and hid his head behind his hands; when Jace launched at him and slid his daggers across his arms.

“Fuck! Magnus! Why didn’t you…” Jace instantly shouted and let his daggers fall to the ground; he didn’t mean to actually hurt him, he thought Magnus would defend himself easily. Magnus hissed under his breath and opened his eyes to see the blood running down his lower arms.

Jace got closer and took his arms in his hands to see how bad it was. Luckily, he had noticed Magnus wasn’t moving when coming at him and hadn’t pushed the daggers in hard; he could only do so much though, they still slit across his skin, but it wasn’t in any way deep.

“Jace!” a loud deep voice flew across the room and both of them snapped their heads up to see a tall, dark-haired guy standing in the doorway; dressed in black, with a dark jacket.

The man looked completely shocked and stormed forward with a few long strides. Izzy was behind him, holding her hands to her mouth; not really knowing what to do or what had happened.

Magnus thought the guy was going to slam him to the ground for attacking the shadowhunter, he looked completely mad and Magnus already closed his eyes, preparing himself for what was about to come.

But the blow never came.

He opened his eyes again to see the guy grabbing Jace by the collar of his shirt and walking him backwards and away from Magnus with force.

“Alec, it wasn’t my intention, I’m sorry. We just…,” the blond one began explaining desperately but the taller guy shut him up.

“Enough!” Alec shot back with such force that it had Magnus trembling. Jace backed off immediately, regret on his face.

So, that was Alec. Magnus couldn’t bring out a single word as he watched the dramatic and rather confusing scene unfold in front of his eyes.

“We sparred and he lost focus.” Jace ended his explanation, in gentler tone this time. “It’s nothing bad Alec, I already checked it. It’s only a few shallow cuts.” He said with a broken voice, but the other one wasn’t listening, but walking towards Magnus, fire in his eyes and not the good kind.

What was happening? What…Magnus backed off a little; that guy seemed like someone you don’t want to meddle with.

He grabbed Magnus arms gently, the fire gone in an instant; Magnus arms twitched to the touch, the guy looked at the wounds; they were long but not deep, just like Jace had said.

Magnus let him check him up for whatever reason; maybe because he didn’t want to anger that guy, at all. What was it with these guys constantly grabbing him though without asking? Was there some kind of paper on his forehead he didn’t know about, saying ‘touch me’?

“Are you okay?” He then asked, the rough voice from before turning into a soft whisper; only meant for his ears. Magnus looked up at him, he was slightly taller than him. He had ruffled dark brown hair; bright hazel eyes, plump lips and a very gentle look on his shaven face. His voice ran down his spine like honey. He couldn’t really say why, but he calmed in an instant and didn’t mind the grip on his arm too much anymore.

Alec’s eyes darted from one eye to the other; to his lips, to his mouth, to his hair, to his ears, noticing the cut on one of them, he looked at him like he was from another world. Well he was. He seemed like he was studying his face. Seeing something he didn’t like, or liked? He couldn’t really tell.

Magnus felt his breath on his face from being so close to him. His cheeks began to burn under the stare and he really didn’t know where to look…stare back? Look away? He lingered his eyes on Alec’s nose then and gulped.

“I’m okay.” Magnus whispered finally; pulling his arms from his hands slowly and then looking back up into his eyes. He blinked a few times; not knowing why he was getting this intense stare from the stranger.

“Can you heal yourself?” he asked backing off a little; stopping to stare at him. His voice changed in an instant, it seemed colder now and distant. Whatever he had searched on his face a second before, he seemed to have found it and it changed his whole attitude.

No, he couldn’t heal himself. He had tried it many times, but it never really worked. He didn’t want to say it out loud though, he had his pride okay.

“Of course. I will do so right away.” He turned to Izzy and then walked towards her, leaving the men standing behind him.

He needed to see that familiar face for a moment. She smiled at him sincerely and then took his hand. Magnus gasped. She seemed to know what he was thinking. He didn’t want to come across weak or something, but he really needed that hand right then and there and squeezed it. It grounded him somehow. She pulled him after her and gave her brothers a look he didn’t understand.

\---

Magnus was sitting alone in the Infirmary, after Izzy had brought him there only to leave right after. He rolled bandages around his arms; fixing them in place and hissing at the slight stinging pain. That was pretty embarrassing…he thought to himself; he was glad if he never had to see those brothers ever again. How can that little shadowhunter hurt him like that, him, a 600-year-old warlock. He tried to heal himself one more time. It didn’t work, of course, and so he continued and bandaged away silently.

\---

Alec was leaning on the brightly glowing e-table in the ops center; Izzy and Jace standing in front of him on the opposite of the huge computer.

“How did this happen?” He nearly growled at them. Jace only pointed towards Izzy and shrugged. Obviously not seeing himself at any fault. Izzy sighed loudly.

“Clary and Simon were trying out this new rune; when Magnus appeared and it suddenly hit him…it was an accident. She didn’t mean to.” She tried to explain and defend her friend all the same.

Alec crossed his arms, not getting half of it. He needed more information. “Bring her to me.” He commanded. Izzy nodded quickly and searched for Clary.

“Alec…” Jace started.

“Don’t.” A silence followed. 

Izzy came back in, dragging Clary behind herself. She stood in front of the computer table, barely looking up at Alec. Her eyes were watery.

“I’m so sorry Alec…please…I’m sorry.” She nearly cried, the words bursting out of her as she looked up at him. Izzy pulled her arm around Clary to soothe her.

Alec was a little startled by that sudden outburst and didn’t really know how to proceed now, he had planned on screaming at her and scolding her for her ignorant and also dangerous behaviour, but how could he when she was standing right in front of him with tears in her eyes. He was no monster. “Tell me how we’ll fix it.” He answered without giving in to her whining and accepting her apology, but also more gentle than he had planned.

Clary chewed on her lip for a moment or two, really glad that he wasn’t yelling at her, although she felt like she would have deserved it. She knew how much she had fucked up and she didn’t mean to hurt Alec like that. “Catarina is looking into it at the moment; we called her when it happened; she checked on him and said she was going to find a way to fix it.” Clary answered quickly, hoping she could soothe his anger somehow.

“Fix what exactly? What happened to him? Why did he look right through me like he doesn’t know me at all?” his voice was filled with sorrow for a moment. “He looked different too.” He added quietly, of course having noticed how differently his eyes had sparkled and that his lips seemed to be slightly bigger, his nose a little smaller. It was just nuances really, nothing obvious to others but Alec knew Magnus face by heart.

“We somehow ended up bringing a younger version of himself into this time. He doesn’t know it; he thinks he is in another dimension and not in the future and Catarina pleaded to leave it that way. She said any big news would startle him too much. Like that we are from the future. Or that we know him.” She added the last part almost in a whisper.

“So, he does not know me?” he had his assumption confirmed. “And I cannot tell him who I am? What we are?” his voice grew louder again as he leaned on the table before him once more. “Are you serious?” Clary didn’t know what to say to actually make it better at that point. Everything she said seemed to make it even worse.

“He seems to be handling it well so far, the past days he…,” She began, wanting to tell him something good but he stopped her right then, lifting his hand towards her.

“The past days?! When did this happen? Why did nobody inform me?!” There he was again, his voice shot across the room. At this point he didn’t care much. His life was just falling apart. Mind you.

“Alec, please. Stay quiet he may hear you.” Izzy whispered towards her brother, who couldn’t care less at that moment.

He rose his hand and left them without saying another word. Knowing nothing good would come out of his mouth at this moment. He went upstairs with quick steps, just wanting to get away from them all.

Jace, Izzy and Clary just looked at each other; not really knowing what to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dum dum dum...Alec has entered the building...and he is going to stay. I hope you had as much fun reading this chapter as I had writing it. The POV will occasionally switch from now on, showing Alec's view and emotions as well as Magnus'. Thanks so much for all the comments and kudos you left so far.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He could even hear his voice in his ears right then.
> 
> “Alec?” Alec lifted his face from the clothes to look at the door.
> 
> Magnus stared at him; confusion and a slight disgust plastered on his face.
> 
> Was that stranger just sniffing his pants? His gut told him to just close the door and leave. But his mind told him to stay and thank that stranger…so he stayed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://ibb.co/TmDPhK9)

Alec had stepped through the portal back into the Institute merely an hour ago, after spending the past 3 days with Jace and another few shadowhunters in Alicante. Nothing new so far, he had to fulfil his duties as Head of the Institute and everything went well, just as expected. He didn’t mind it much, he minded being away from Magnus for so long though. They had agreed to call each day, in the evening and talk about their days. They had always stuck to that routine in the past when he was gone or Magnus had to leave, until 2 days ago Magnus had stopped calling.

He didn’t think too much into it at first, thinking Magnus must be busy with clients. He tried calling him on the second day, but he never picked up. That wasn’t much like him; he had tried to reach Izzy as soon as possible but she wasn’t of much help. Well, he had to accept it somehow, there surely was a plausible explanation. He really didn’t want to come across too clingy and let it rest.

To say he was surprised the moment he walked into the Institute to find his sister flustered before him, her face red and her hair sticking in every direction; she must have pulled it; was an understatement. She had mumbled something below her breath which he didn’t get at all, when he had heard a loud cry from the training room and ran towards it…seeing something he wasn’t prepared for, at all.

Alec went to his old room, slamming the door shut behind himself; he grabbed a lamp from his nightstand to throw it across the room. It helped for a second. He then crouched down to gather the remains up, not liking the mess at all. He went to throw it into the bin, when he saw clothes neatly folded lying on the table. Rings and necklaces beside them. He could recognize them anywhere; it was Magnus clothing. He felt his chin trembling as he approached the table; he fought it back as good as possible.

He took a few rings and played with them between his fingers. His eyes darted to one ring in particular. He lifted it; feeling a lump in his throat building up. It was their engagement ring; he gave to him not too long ago. The L mocking him right in his face. He remembered Magnus face the moment he had given it to him on his knees, on the balcony. The face of pure bliss and joy and…he had never looked happier or more beautiful than in that very moment. And it was all he had ever wanted.

This couldn’t be true; this couldn’t be happening right now. His life was just perfect and then it’s suddenly ripped away from him just like that. And for what? What had Clary been thinking? Well, it wasn’t her fault Magnus had walked in on them, but she could have been more careful with her powers.

He put the ring in his pocket to grab some of the clothes from the table; he lifted them and pressed them against his face. It was Magnus scent all over them. The sandalwood filling his lungs. It soothed him instantly. For a moment he could forget about all this mess that was happening around him; imagining Magnus walking right in and into his arms with a stunning smile on his face. He could even hear his voice in his ears right then.

“Alec?” Alec lifted his face from the clothes to look at the door.

Magnus stared at him; confusion and a slight disgust plastered on his face.

Was that stranger just sniffing his pants? His gut told him to just close the door and leave. But his mind told him to stay and thank that stranger…so he stayed.

“I wanted to thank you…,” He began, taking a step forward, not being able to take his eyes off of the clothes the other held in his hands still and that slightly shocked face.

“For earlier…you didn’t need to do that. He is your brother right?...okay would you maybe drop the clothes?” Alec did so immediately and coughed awkwardly.

“I just wanted to check something.” Alec blurted out.

“Right.” Magnus walked across the room, keeping his distance to the creep in his room.

What was it with all these guys around here…one creepier than the other.

“I-I am Alec.” Alec followed him with his eyes as the warlock circled him.

“I know. I just called your name a second ago.”

Alec licked his lips “Oh yes right, I forgot.” He murmured and watched Magnus intensely; he let his eyes roam over his body. Magnus wore tight clothes that looked very much like the stuff a shadowhunter would wear. Maybe he had borrowed some of it. It showed off his muscles pretty well, not to speak about that ass. He had always wanted to see Magnus wear something like that to be honest.

Magnus held out his hand rather stiffly, snapping Alec out of his filthy thoughts.

“I am Magnus. Magnus Bane.” Alec took it, holding it for second longer than he should. He couldn’t help himself. Magnus didn’t pull his hand back. He also noticed the other one checking him out, but everyone did so apparently. He felt like a statue in a museum with all those staring eyes. They didn’t seem to see many warlocks around.

“Why are you in my room?” Magnus asked.

“Your room?” Alec seemed surprised.

“Yes, my room. I sleep here.” He pointed to the bed and Alec followed his hand with his eyes, just then seeing the bed was used; some stuff lying on the nightstand next to it.

“This used to be my room…before. Yes.” The guy answered awkwardly.

“Do you want it back? I can sleep somewhere else.” Magnus quickly offered, feeling like he should. He didn’t know this room was actually occupied. Why did Clary give him a room that was taken? She surely knew this was Alec’s room.

“No, ‘s fine. You sleep here. I will find something else.” He could go back to their loft, it’s where he lived after all, but really…he didn’t want to leave Magnus here. He wanted to be near him; there was no way he would ever leave him alone again. Not with Clary around anyway.

Magnus looked down at their hands for a moment, before looking back at Alec’s eyes. Alec pulled his hand back instantly. “Sorry.” He murmured. “Your arms. Why didn’t you heal them?” Alec inquired, just then seeing the bandaged arms on Magnus.

“This? It’s just a scratch.” He shrugged.

“Then why did you bandage them all the way? You look like a mummy.”

Magnus frowned at him. His arms stiff, hanging down his sides in a weird manner, like he was carrying invisible baggages below his armpits.

“Pardon? I do not!” he totally did. Magnus didn’t know how to do bandages; this was the best he managed.

Alec chuckled, hiding it as quick as it happened. Which made Magnus smile slightly. Why are you smiling? He stopped and sighed.

“Look, Alec…I am very exhausted from the day. I would like to just go to sleep.”

Alec nodded, snapping out of his gaze and walked towards the door and then turned back. “Do you need help? With your clothes?”

Magnus gave him a look.

“I mean, with the bandages and all.” He didn’t mean to mock him really, he just cared; but Magnus didn’t know of course taking it all the wrong way.

“No. Thank you kind stranger!” he barked and shoved the second man out of his door within 24 hours.

He closed the door and locked it quietly so the other one wouldn’t hear.

He sighed loudly and then walked towards the bathroom like the mummy he was to get ready, it took him longer than he would admit, before throwing himself on top of the duvet, in his underwear. Or rather Jace underwear. He cringed at the thought and then curled up into a ball and fell asleep in an instant; exhaustion hitting him big time.

Alec stood in front of the door a few more minutes, hearing Magnus sigh inside the room. He sighed along. He contemplated knocking again to talk some more, but…he knew he shouldn’t. He really needed to talk to Catarina and understand what was happening right now. This was a mess.

Feeling his presence near, it was all he needed. He couldn’t get himself to leave, so he slowly slid down the wall next to Magnus door and leaned his elbows on his knees. Tilting his head back against the wall. 

He was fucked. This situation was fucked. There he was, the man he loved more than anything in this world, not knowing who he was at all. He closed his eyes, not wanting the tears to escape that had formed in them. He breathed slowly, listening to the sound of Magnus walking around inside the room and drifted off to sleep.

\---

After tossing and turning in that goddamned bed; not getting the sleep his body desperately craved Magnus got up onto his feet. He has been sleeping on and off for a few hours now and it was starting to get annoying. He looked at the clock, 4am it read. He noticed a note next to it, picking it up, it was a rather long row of numbers. He shrugged and walked towards the window and pulled the thick dark curtains aside to look outside, but the coloured window glasses wouldn’t allow it.

He sighed, pulling the curtains back; somehow everything seemed to be against him at the moment.

He ran a hand down his face, and realised he was still wearing that ring. He eyed it for a few moments; again, thinking how beautiful it was. It was weird to him, that he wore that stuff at all when he came into this dimension. Must have been part of Ragnor’s plan as well. Ragnor…he sighed, thinking about his friend. As angry as he was about what he did he missed him dearly. Ragnor had always been sure with his magic, never making any mistakes so this can’t be one, there must be a reason behind it. Maybe he was trying to save him, because something was about to happen? That would fit him more, he thought.

He got rid of the bandages on his arms, dropping them on the bathroom floor, before stepping inside the shower and refreshing his body and soul. He dried himself and brushed his teeth before realising he had nothing fresh to wear. He cracked his neck and knuckles, before conjuring up new clothes. He snapped his fingers, a light blue dress appearing in his hands. He rolled his eyes and dropped it aside to snap his fingers again, concentrating really hard.

A dark purple shirt with long sleeves appeared in his hands and he smiled fondly. Purple was his favourite colour and his magic worked this time. He had observed the attire of the shadowhunters the past days, this was the kind of fashion they seemed to wear in this dimension. It was much simpler than the fashion he was used to from his dimension. 

He dressed himself before snapping them again, to have long dark pants appear hanging on his arms. He put them on, they were rather tight, but he liked it that way. Lastly, he put on some normal and rather boring black shoes. He eyed them for a moment, before tossing them aside and putting on the boots he wore the past days.

Walking past the table, he noticed that one of his big rings was missing. There was one with a “L” on it, just like his “M” one. He liked it actually. He looked below the table to see if it had slipped but nothing. He shrugged and then grabbed the note from the nightstand and put it in his backpocket.

He opened his door and stepped outside; closing it behind himself, when he nearly stumbled over a pair of stretched out legs in the hallway.

“Sorry.” he mumbled and walked on quickly; stopping a few steps later to turn back around; one of his hands raised in front of him. He walked back to the man in front of his door to realise it was the guy from yesterday. Alec. Sleeping peacefully. In…front…of…his…door.

His head was lowered and he snored quietly. His hands resting in his lap.

Magnus watched him for a few moments, clicking with his tongue. He kneeled down to have a better look at the guy. He looked a lot like his sister, he noticed. He had a little double chin from resting against his chest. The hallway was rather cold. Why did he sleep out here? Was he lying about having another room to sleep in and had nowhere to go? Poor boy. Magnus snapped his fingers as quietly as possible and put a thin blue and soft blanket over the shadowhunter.

He got up again and walked away, leaving the man.

\---

Alec opened his eyes quickly, a little startled and looked around himself and then down. There was a small blanket draped over his body. He stretched his body and got up, making the blanket fall to the ground and then turned to face Magnus door.

“Magnus?” he asked quietly and knocked on the door. Nothing. He opened it slowly, not wanting to scare him, but it was empty. He went to the bathroom to find it empty as well, bloody bandages lying on the ground near the shower and a dress? He gave the dress a look of confusion and lifted one eyebrow before picking up the bandages and throwing them in the trash, he went back to the main room.

Magnus wasn’t here. Where was he? A slight fear crawled up his stomach, not knowing where he was. He just promised himself to never leave him again and off he was.

He left the room to walk down the corridor with wide steps, looking at every corner and every face he saw. It was already morning, shadowhunters roaming the halls like zombies. Everyone was still rather sleepy.

He ran into Jace; who dropped his coffee he was holding.

“Gee…Alec. Watch out.” It was too late, there was already a huge stain on his shirt.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t see you.” Alec returned, not even looking at him, he was still searching for Magnus.

“What’s up buddy?...Are you still wearing your clothes from yesterday?” he asked checking him out. Alec shrugged, ignoring him mostly. “Look, did you see Magnus?”

“No, I haven’t. Why?” Alec shoved him aside and walked away.

“Hey?!” Jace barked after him but got no answer. “Rude.”

Alec walked past the training room, when he heard someone quietly groaning inside; he peeked in, not opening the doors far and let out a relieved sigh. There he was.

\---

Magnus had tried to find someone, that could help him understand the note from his nightstand, but it seemed everyone was still asleep at this ungodly hour. Not until he saw the blond curly haired guy from the day before standing near one of the blue shiny thingies. Was he really desperate enough to talk to the guy after what happened? Well, he was the only one around. Maybe the morning patrol or something.

He got closer cautiously and stood beside him, the guy turned his head to him with an instant smile.

“Magnus. Hey, you are up early.” Magnus…again. It seemed Clary had informed the whole world about his presence.

“Couldn’t sleep.” He replied with a slight flinch of his lips. He wanted to smile but really, he couldn’t. This was too awkward. He couldn’t tell if the guy still remembered their encounter…hopefully not.

“Could you maybe help with this note?” He questioned offering the little piece of paper to the man.

He only chuckled and looked around himself as if searching for somebody, then turned back to Magnus.

“Is this some weird way of giving me your phone number?” he asked rather amused. “I feel flattered, but…” he now seemed a little unsure, seemingly wanting to say something but stopped himself.

Magnus furrowed his brow. What? He pulled the paper back quickly and pushed it back in his pocket, then turned on his heels to walk away, or rather run, he went into the nearest room, which was the training room, shutting the doors behind himself. Okay, he must never roam the halls at this hour ever again. He cannot see that man again, ever…ever…ever.

He had experienced men flirting with him before occasionally, well, never that obvious to be honest. It was only looks and such. He didn’t mind it too much, he rather enjoyed the attention. But the fact that the guy thought he was flirting with him too, handing him his phone number on purpose was what had Magnus flustered so much. If he would ever decide to flirt with a guy, not that he was planning on doing so anytime soon, it would definitely not be this crude. 

That guy wasn’t even his type. Not that he had a type with men. He never really thought about what type he would like and he didn’t want to now.

Dark hair looks much better on men he mused with a smile as he slurted towards one of the benches on the far end corner of the training room. He shook his head as his mind obviously didn’t want to let the topic go. A pain shot through his head suddenly; he grabbed it roughly until the pain was gone. It felt like having a déjà vu. He shook it off and sat down on the bench; he rested his back on the bench and stared up at the ceiling before closing his eyes. Sleep hit him without a warning and his limbs fell down to each side of the bench. All fours stretched out like a cat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will try and update quick when it's chapters within one day/scene to make the read more smooth. The chapters will be the same length, a few will be shorter/longer though because they are difficult to cut sometimes or are just very important. Our Magnus won't get a break any time soon with all the awkward situations and new faces. As I said it will occasionally switch to Alec's POV from now on as he is a big part of the story, he will stick around like glue. Thanks for all the lovely comments and kudos!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Why do you keep speaking in riddles Catarina? If you know anything…you have to tell me.” Magnus got rather stressed at this moment, he knew Catarina pretty well and felt she was hiding something from him at this point. His brain was working better with each day and the confusion he felt the first days faded more and more.
> 
> She sighed. “I know what happened to you Magnus; I just don’t know how to fix it yet.”
> 
> “You do? Why didn’t you tell me?” okay he wasn’t stressed. He was fuming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://ibb.co/QQrLn9X)

Magnus opened his eyes to a low voice that called his name. At least he tried to, it seemed his eyes were stuck together. He rubbed the sleep away and shook his hand as it didn’t want to leave his fingers, rubbing them against his pants to get the sticky stuff off and then looked up to see Alec hover above his head with a smile. He saw him upside down as he was still lying on the bench. He thought he saw Alec’s eyes drop to his crotch for a millisecond, but maybe he only imagined that.

“Are you okay?” Alec asked softly.

“I’m fine. Just stretching my limbs.” Magnus answered and did just that, sitting up slowly and looking around to see where he was exactly. Oh yes right the training room.

Alec laughed a little and put his arms behind his back.

“There is no difference to sleeping in that bed of yours, you know?” Magnus snorted.

“That bed is awful. I know.” Alec looked away amused.

Magnus cracked his neck to all sides, not seeing the way Alec twitched to the sound, before resting his eyes on the shadowhunter again. Noticing his head was right in the guy’s junk region, he lifted his head immediately to face him. “So, you slept in the hallway?” Magnus broke the silence.

“I…yes.”

“Why?”

Alec shrugged and gulped, like he didn’t really know what to answer. Magnus smiled at him softly to make him more comfortable. That was some weird guy. But not the first one he met here. This one at least wasn’t as intimidating as the other guy that had followed him to his room the other day. He thought it was cute somehow, that he would sleep by his door, but also a bit scary and sad? Didn’t he have anymore to go? He had a brother and sister around after all.

“Do you want breakfast?” Alec asked, obviously changing the topic, but Magnus didn’t mind.

“I’m starving.” Magnus said, getting up from the bench and they walked to the cafeteria side by side. Magnus felt the breath on his neck from how close Alec walked to him.

They got their food and sat at the usual table with the others already there. This was now his usual routine it seemed. Everyone gathered, like a big, little family. Clary sat in front of him, Jace beside her and Alec next to Magnus with Izzy next to him. They all looked at each other and Magnus felt like he was in some kind of staring contest. The air around them seemed thick and they seemed to talk with each other with their eyes. Why wouldn’t they just talk? Was something wrong? Apart from him being there and intruding, that is. Well maybe that was the case, maybe they didn’t want him around. They didn’t know much about him after all. Maybe they felt uncomfortable with him around…Magnus thought about getting up and excusing himself when Clary interrupted the silence.

“Magnus, Catarina just called. She will be here in about an hour.” She sounded cheerful. If it was fake or real, he couldn’t tell. But her smile was beautiful nonetheless, she had bright white teeth, her eyes sparkling and the red hair was blinding him as usual and shining away in the sunlight.

“Oh, that is great news, I was waiting for her to return.” So badly. So, so badly. Alec nodded beside him, but looked rather annoyed; playing with his food more than actually eating.

The others were chewing away, just like Magnus. Eating his banana. He noticed Alec watching him from aside and then chew down on it with his teeth and Alec gulped before looking to his food again.

“Look, I found this note on my nightstand. Can you tell me what it is?” Magnus asked Clary, she took the note and read it. “It’s a phone number. I don’t know who’s though.” She took out her phone and dialled the number written on it, waiting for anyone to pick up. Magnus had already figured it was a phone number by now, from what the blond guy had said. He wondered how it ended up on his nightstand.

Alec got visibly nervous beside him, rubbing his palms against each other. He watched Clary and the phone that was clutched between her ear and shoulder with hawk eyes.

“Who is this?” Clary asked. “Oh Hey, it’s Clary. Magnus said you left him the number; he didn’t know what to do with it, I wanted to see who it belonged to. Yes…all right, wait a second.” She reached over the table to hand him the phone.

Magnus took it with caution and placed it against his ear just like she had done and then yelled into it “HELLO?” He heard a loud hiss on the other end. “Magnus, please can you not scream at me.” He heard a male voice answer on the other end. What kind of sorcery is this. “Who are you?!” He now asked, his voice a little lower and began looking around himself. “It’s Raphael.” He said rather annoyed. “Okay Raphael, to what do I owe the pleasure?” Magnus asked curiously, now concentrating on the phone in his hand and the voice on the other end. “You called me.” The man barked back. “I left the number so you can call, if you changed your mind. About the shadowhunters.” He added. Magnus looked at the pairs of eyes staring at him, obviously listening to his conversation.

“It’s fine. They’ve been really kind so far. I think I will stay a little longer.” He answered as nicely as possible, because really…he had no intention to go with that creep ever and didn’t really know why he offered it over and over again. “Call, if you change your mind.” He ended the call.

“Hello?” Magnus asked. “Hello? Raphael?...I think I lost him.” He said handing the phone back.

“I think he ended the call. Don’t mind him Magnus, he is just like that…all the time. Don’t take it personal. What did he want?” Clary explained.

“He wants me to stay with him.” Magnus snorted loudly as if it was the most ridiculous thing he had ever heard. “Who asks a stranger to stay with him?”

They didn’t really know how to answer his question without giving away too much. That Raphael was in fact one of Magnus best friends and that he practically raised the vampire, was not an answer they could give him.

“He just cares about y…he just cares.” Izzy said and quickly stopped herself, returning to her food. It was the first and only time she spoke. They seemed extremely on edge that day.

“Who is that blond guy over there?” Magnus then asked, pointing towards another table, where the curly haired guy sat and ate with his fellow shadowhunters.

“That is Andrew Underhill. Head of security.” Jace said with his mouth full, not even looking at the direction Magnus had pointed. He clearly knew where everyone sat. “Why?”

“Oh nothing…just curious.” Magnus really didn’t want to tell what had happened.

Alec swallowed down his breakfast hard and stared over at Underhill with big eyes, then to Magnus and back to his plate. “I need some fresh air.” He said and got up leaving the group. Their eyes followed him with concern, for whatever reason and Magnus thought about if he had said something wrong? Well.

\---

It was a few later, when Magnus sat on the Infirmary bed, waiting for Catarina to appear. And she did, a portal opened and she stepped inside the room. “What…how did you do that? What is this?” he asked as soon as she stood in front of him, he got off the bed and walked towards her but the portal closed right behind her.

“It’s a portal. We use it to go from one place to the other.” She said shrugging. If only he knew he had invented that thing himself.

“Portal. Amazing. How do you do this? Where did you learn it?” He crossed his arms in front of his chest, one finger resting against his lips as he stared into the void behind her.

“So, how are you Magnus? How have you been these days, what did you do? I am so sorry I had to leave but, I needed to find out what had happened to you.”

“So, you found something?” he asked, his eyes shining.

She gasped and he already knew the answer. “Unfortunately, not. This is something I’ve never seen before; I’ve inquired other warlocks but neither of them could actually help me. I still have someone to go to and he might be of help.”

“What about Ragnor? Is there a version of him here as well? He surely knows what kind of magic this is.”

“Magnus…” She began. “Yes, I’ll ask him. But I don’t think he is involved in this.” She said not giving away too much.

“Why do you keep speaking in riddles Catarina? If you know anything…you have to tell me.” Magnus got rather stressed at this moment, he knew Catarina pretty well and felt she was hiding something from him at this point. His brain was working better with each day and the confusion he felt the first days faded more and more.

She sighed. “I know what happened to you Magnus; I just don’t know how to fix it yet.”

“You do? Why didn’t you tell me?” okay he wasn’t stressed. He was fuming.

“You weren’t ready. I didn’t want to overwhelm you.” He lifted his eyebrows and rolled his hand to gesture her to continue.

“It was a kind of spell gone wrong. Not Ragnor’s though, but one of the shadowhunters. Clary, the redhead. She is one of the very few shadowhunters being able to create new runes, which was what she did the other day. But it had a different effect apparently.”

He furrowed his brow. He was here because some shadowhunter created a rune, to bring him here? And Clary out of all? Why didn’t she say a word? Was that why there were so tense at breakfast? Because they all knew what happened and didn’t want to tell? Was he supposed to feel angry at them? He didn’t know them good enough to feel that way actually. He let it slip.

“It was an accident. You were pulled from your world into…this dimension.”

“Why me? Why am I in New York?”

She contemplated telling him the truth right then and there, but didn’t know what the effects would be if his younger version knew about the future; he surely wasn’t capable of erasing his memory yet. She couldn’t tell him. So, she changed the topic, hoping he would just let it go for now.

“You might need to stay a little longer than expected Magnus. I will go talk to Ragnor…,” She paused for a second. “And then I’ll get back to you. I want you to feel save and okay. Is everything okay?” she asked again.

His lips became a thin line and he lowered his head a little, letting down his guard more and more.

“Well, no. Nothing is okay. I am stuck in this…whatever it is…I miss my old life. I miss Ragnor. The people here, they are kind don’t get me wrong but, I don’t know them. I am so glad you are here at least.”

She nodded to his confession, knowing he would feel that way.

“I am here for you Magnus, always, okay? You can call me whenever you need to and speaking of,” She said putting a phone in his hands. “This is yours now. My number is saved in there already.”

They spent the next hours with Catarina explaining how the phone works, also what the internet was and about things that were currently happening ‘in this dimension’. She explained his questions regarding the blue shiny thingies and stuff he saw in the ops center and a few other things. It was slightly overwhelming and Magnus didn’t know if he could remember any of it at all. But it felt good to talk with a friend for once and so they didn’t realise how the time flew by. Only when the doors opened and Alec walked inside; they stopped their chat.

“Can I speak to Catarina for a second?...Alone.” the man asked and Magnus nodded, quickly getting off his stool and giving Catarina a long and warm hug before leaving the room to give them some privacy.

She sighed, knowing what would come now.

“Alec, I am so sorry…” she gasped the moment Magnus had closed the door behind him.

He walked closer and sat beside her, right were Magnus sat a minute ago, it was still warm and his smell lingered in the air. It was oddly similar to his usual smell. Maybe he had already used the smell back then?

“It’s not your fault.” He answered; biting his lip to not say the name of a certain redhead that popped up in his head. “So…Magnus. My Magnus. Where is he?” he asked, not looking at Catarina directly. He was leaning on his legs, his hands together, playing with the skin between his thumb and pointer finger, his head hanging low.

“He is nowhere Alec, that IS your Magnus. They didn’t switch places or something, it’s his younger self.” She answered right away.

Alec looked up at her then and didn’t know if that knowledge soothed or irritated him. His Magnus didn’t exist yet so to speak. That thought was…no he didn’t want to think about it. At least he wasn’t stuck in some old century then. But also, it meant that, that this Magnus was…the real deal. It was the man he loved or was going to love…he could see his younger self. It somehow seemed fascinating to him to experience Magnus in his youth, for a moment forgetting about his grief. He shook himself out of his thoughts. “How can we fix this? Is there a way to fix it?” He looked at the woman beside him with hope and sorrow in his eyes.

“I don’t know. I don’t want to lie Alec. I really don’t know. I will try all I can….” she put her hand on his, that were still fidgeting. She hated to be of no help and having no real answers but there was only so much she could do. This spell, whatever it was, was very powerful and unknown. It had never happened before. All she could do is try to make Magnus feel comfortable and save for now.

“There is something you must know, about the young Magnus. He may come across confident and experienced, but he is far from that. You know Magnus, he starts to act when he is unsure and Alec, he is very vulnerable at the moment.” She paused dramatically. “Also, regarding his magic, he doesn’t have control over it yet. He is no full grown up warlock at this point. You may need to help him along the way if there ever is some kind of danger. You have to be very patient with him, we don’t want him to break down.”

Alec knew Magnus very well and he had told him about his past, he had seen him being vulnerable before, he knew exactly when the warlock was pretending to be fine and when not. He already came to the conclusion Magnus was on edge and playing it down; which was one of the reasons he didn’t want to leave his side. And no, he didn’t want to think about Magnus being in any kind of danger, ever. He would not let anything happen to him.

“I know.” He only returned.

Catarina gave him a genuine smile and then hugged him deeply. He returned it and leaned into her embrace for a while. “We will fix this Alec. Be strong, you can do this.” She got up after and then left through her portal, leaving Alec alone.

\---

Magnus had made his way down the long corridors, not really knowing where to go, his mind was roaming around Catarina’s words. It was a lot to take in. A lot of information he had to process. He rubbed his forehead with his pointer finger as he strolled through the Institute.

“Magnus!” a voice startled him out of his thoughts and he snapped his head up.

It was the brown-haired guy he had met on day 1. He wore a bright smile and ran towards him with speed. Magnus stopped walking and lowered his hand, a smile on his face. “Sherman it was?”

“Simon.” He corrected quickly, waving it off, like he was used to this.

“I’m sorry. It’s a whole lot of new names.”

“I know, don’t worry about it really. I thought maybe I could meet you here. Look, so I was thinking maybe you wanted to go out shopping or something?” he asked, an awkward expression on his face as if he didn’t believe he was asking this himself. Magnus saw Isabelle standing a few feet behind him, waving at him eagerly.

“Was it her idea?” he asked.

“That obvious? Well yes, she thought it would maybe be nice to get you something to wear. She figured you had nothing and didn’t know if you want to keep wearing Jace stuff. Do you?”

“No…actually I don’t.” he thought about it. “I would like that.”

Simon turned and gave Isabelle a thumbs up who then ran towards them as fast as she could on her high heels, with a bright smile. She grabbed both their hands and pulled them after her with a force he didn’t know she had.

\---

They returned a few hours later with several bags in their hands. All three of them smiling from ear to ear and chatting, like they just had the best time of their lives. Magnus came to know that Simon was in fact another vampire, but could walk in the sun. A daylighter he had said. Magnus knew the term; he had read about it somewhere before, but couldn’t quite remember where.

He definitely was the more pleasant one of the two vampires. He talked a lot, but so did Magnus, so they kind of clicked. Simon had shown him some music on his phone, saying he was a singer as well and had a band. He kindly put some of the music on Magnus new phone, which now also rocked a new case. ‘I like to party. And by party, I mean nap’ it read on the back. He had laughed at this probably more than he should have.

He had tons of new clothes, Simon and Izzy had bought for him. The clothing was rather casual, they seemed to consist of shirts with sayings across it. Also a few plain colourful things, some more conservative and elegant things, a few pants and jeans, it was really a bit of everything in those bags. Simon and Izzy had picked out most of it, saying it would fit Magnus. They seemed to know what fit him more than Magnus himself, like they knew every part of his body and had studied it for hours. The clothing fit like a second skin and Magnus wondered how they even knew his size. He had stopped thinking about it at one point because it gave him headaches.

A handful of pullovers, jackets, shoes, belts, socks and underwear went along with it. He was really grateful for their effort and didn’t remember if anyone had ever done such a thing for him in the first place. Also, that must have cost a fortune…he would need to pay them back as soon as possible.

They had agreed to meet again in the late evening, in Izzy’s room. They would have a little gathering and eat some pizza, have some alcohol. Well, alcohol sounded great. What that ‘pizza’ was he didn’t know but they seemed to drool over the word.

Magnus went straight to his room and got rid of the bags, magically washing everything before placing everything neatly into his closet. It took quite long but he liked the distraction. Actually, he could do more magic around but somehow, doing things by hand made him forget what was happening.

He went to shower and then threw himself in one of his new shirts. It was dark green, ‘an army pattern’ he remembered Izzy’s words, it was a little loose and sleeveless, along he wore tight black pants and tucked half of the shirt in the waistband of his pants; he put on his boots. He even put on a necklace from the table. He magicked his hair into position, it was some kind of up and down at the same time. He deemed himself fine; not really knowing what to wear to such an occasion. He thought casual was the right answer. He definitely had to get used to this look still, it wasn’t anything he had ever worn before and it felt strange. But he somehow liked it.

He pushed his phone inside his pants pocket; he had also put Raphael’s number in the phone, not really knowing why exactly. Maybe to see who called and not pick up. Izzy had put all the other numbers she had decided were important on his phone as well. He magicked a scent over him; his favourite smell of old Indian Sandalwood and then left his room to head for Izzy’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All the feels eh, those serious convos always get me. But hey, Magnus has a phone! And new clothes! yay! He is coping pretty well so far. And that creepy Raphael won't give him any rest. I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Next up, party time.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Thank you, Alec.” He lowered his eyes to the blanket still lying on the floor all forgotten. “Are you going to sleep in the hallway again?”
> 
> “No, of course not.” Of course, he was.
> 
> “Because if so, you could always come inside and sleep with me?” Magnus suggested with a tug of his shoulders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://imgbb.com/)

Magnus knocked quietly and opened the door, to see it full of people. Izzy and Clary sitting on the bed and playing with cards; Jace and Simon sitting on a table casually, chatting about something that seemed to bother the blond guy as he was rolling his eyes and growling at Simon with a loud voice. 

“Okay, I will do whatever you want if you just stop talking about this.” He looked pissed.

“You don’t know what’s good, really.” Simon shrugged. “It’s a classic!”

Also, there was Alec, standing near the windows, his arms crossed over his chest, he looked right back at him, his mouth gaping for a moment like he just saw a demon waltz in. So, maybe his fashion choice wasn’t the best pick after all, if it got that kind of reaction. He didn’t know whether to feel offended at the look he received. He felt defensive. Not that that shadowhunter had any right to speak with his everyday all black fashion.

Magnus wondered if it was the same outfit everyday or if he had 10 different sets of the same outfit. Of course, he had missed the drool literally hanging off Alec’s chin showing that he actually very much appreciated the outfit, by ranting about him internally.

He lifted his chin a little to gesture he doesn’t care about what the other thought of his style and sauntered forward a bit too cocky. “Hey guys” Magnus said and they all turned to him. They hadn’t noticed him until then, too deep in their own business.

“You are here, come in, make yourself at home.” Izzy chimed and got off the bed to hook her arm with Magnus’. She pulled him into the room and towards the bed to make him sit down. She wore a beautiful, very fitting silver dress; Magnus felt underdressed instantly. “The food will be here any second. Do you want something to drink?” she asked pointing towards all the beverages on the table near the window. Most were already empty.

“Yes, please.”

“What do you like?”

“A Martini.” He said laughing, joking actually, but she was already on her way to do just that. Magnus followed her with his eyes, until she came back with what he had ordered.

“Thank you.” He furrowed his brow and took the glass. She somehow seemed prepared for that answer, which was rather odd. Empty bottles stood all across the room, on the table on the floor on the windowsill. It was a mess. A comfortable mess.

There was a knock on the door and Izzy took the pizzas from Underhill’s hands, thanking him and bringing them to the table. Underhill gave them all a nod, a slight wink to Magnus only meant for his eyes, before leaving them again with the words “Have fun.” Magnus looked another way quickly.

“Sooooooo, who’s hungry?” she gasped and grabbed herself a whole pizza box and retreated to her bed to eat it.

The others shot to the pizzas like a horde of wild animals and everyone grabbed themselves a pizza or a slice; it looked dangerous to be honest. He really didn’t want to come close to that. He patiently waited until they were done while listening to his stomach grumble. Alec was walking through the crowd towards him, a box lifted to the sky as he tried to get out and tip toed his way through, luckily, he was tall and quick and had successfully gotten something first. Magnus chuckled at the sight. From what he knew Alec was a very collected guy and more the observing type, seeing him dart to the food like that, a wide and proud grin on his face when he got it was an unusual but very pleasant sight.

Magnus understood their reaction somehow, that Institute food was awful. Whatever this ‘pizza’ was, he was sure it is way better than what they were offered here.

“I’ve got one for you” Alec said, handing him one of the boxes. Magnus lifted his eyes to his, before taking the box from his hands. He hadn’t expected that. The box was huge and a had a big winking smiley on the front.

“Thank you?” he answered and opened it. The smell nearly knocked him out. It was so good. He couldn’t remember the last time he had smelled something like that. It was cheesy and rich of flavour. It filled his nostrils up, nearly making his eyes roll back in his head. He walked backwards to the couch and let himself fall on it, never taking his eyes off the pizza in his hands. Alec sat down beside him and they both began eating.

“Mmmmmmm, fuck this is good.” Magnus moaned involuntarily as the first bite hit his tongue and his taste buds exploded. Alec nearly chocked on his pizza and coughed roughly. Magnus quickly patted his back. “You okay?” Alec nodded; his eyes watery.

“I’m good.” He said hoarsely and placed the box down, taking a break from eating to take a sip or rather gulp from his beverage, whatever it was. It was gone.

Magnus though continued and he couldn’t stop himself from moaning occasionally. He heard the chatter and laughs in the background but he was too concentrated on that holy food in front of him, he had never tasted before. He didn’t want to eat anything else anymore except that. Every day. Please? Maybe someone could tell him how it’s done so he could start making it at home and surprise Ragnor.

“So, Underhill?” Alec asked, not looking at him.

“What about him?” Magnus returned with his mouth full, his concentration fully on the pizza.

“You asked about him at breakfast. You spoke with him?” Alec tried his best to sound casual; he failed.

“Not much really, I’ve only ran into him twice. It was rather embarrassing to be honest.” Magnus chuckled lightly.

“How so?” Alec asked a bit more curious than he had meant to sound.

“Well, I was naked for a start.” He laughed awkwardly.

“Naked?!” Alec shouted at him; his eyes comically wide. The chatter around them went quiet for a moment, before they began talking again. Alec seemed to be lost on air; his cheeks a deep red.

“Well, long story. You see I am trying to avoid him.” Alec still gaped at him. Which made him look rather funny. Magnus placed his fingers below his gaping chin and shut his mouth, before shooting him a wide grin and continuing to eat his pizza.

Alec followed Magnus fingers moving back from his chin, immediately missing the touch, before he shut his pizza box and put it down to the floor, not in the mood to eat anything anymore. He has lost his appetite. He made a mental note to talk with Underhill as soon as possible, to ask about this and have him transferred to the fucking edge of the world.

Clary’s voice rang across the room and they gathered together. Magnus got up and sat down on the floor, his pizza box placed beside him. Izzy was sitting right next to him, Clary on the bed, Jace on a stool. Alec sat down next to Magnus; Simon next to him on the floor. They chatted about this and that; nothing important in particular and Magnus only tried to get half of it and nodded occasionally, giving them a smile whenever they were laughing. This was actually rather nice.

He noticed Alec staring at him more than once from the edge of his eyes. It wasn’t uncomfortable, but also not really pleasant. He just didn’t know why the guy eyed him all the time, like he had something on his face. Maybe it was still the clothing; he didn’t seem to like it. At least that is what Magnus thought.

“Well, I have an awful taste when it comes to books. At least that is what my girlfriend used to say.” Magnus answered Jace question with a laugh.

The room went shockingly quiet. You would have heard a needle drop.

Magnus eyes followed their different expressions, horror displayed on most, an awkward stare away on others. Did he say something wrong? Alec beside him seemed to have gone completely pale.

“Your girlfriend?” Clary then asked chokingly, trying to get the beer out of her lungs. She continued coughing for quite a while before she managed.

“Well…my ex-girlfriend to be exact. We are not…” he stuttered and then gulped.

It has been nearly 30 years since Charlotte had died. She was his first real love, a pretty mundane girl with bright green eyes and he had stayed with her until the very end. It might seem like a long time but his heart was not used to this kind of pain yet. He had overcome it mostly, but it sometimes crept back up to the surface. It was the reason he had gone to so many adventures with his friend Ragnor lately and also began taking a favour in alcohol, to get rid of the memories. He didn’t want to forget her, but he had to go on somehow, he had no choice anyway. And Charlotte would have wanted him to do just that.

“It’s a long time ago, actually.” He explained, a slight smile tugged on his lips. It was visible to everyone in the room that he didn’t want to speak about this any further and they happily obliged. A few sighed in relief.

He looked over to Alec, the colour seemed to be back in his face. He wondered for a second why they all had reacted that strong to his words, but as with many other things nowadays. He couldn’t explain it.

He really enjoyed their time together, it felt like having fun with old friends you knew for ages. Magnus never had such a big group of friends actually, of course he had some but they never gathered together like this, this was new. And the atmosphere was much more cheerful than back his dimension. He pouted at the fact for a moment, this world seemed so happy and colourful and open and different, he couldn’t even gather all the words to describe this world. His was a big pile of dusty, grey and dull mud compared to this.

But it has been a very long day for Magnus and he felt a yawn creep up his throat. He let it out, looking like a frozen shriek for a moment before shaking his head a little. “I am sorry to disturb the fun, but I am rather tired. It was a long day.” Magnus said and got up, taking the last slice of pizza with him. “Enjoy the rest of the night.” They nodded and smiled at him kindly, returning a few nice ‘sleep well’s’ before going back to their conversation.

“I will take you to your room.” Alec quickly said and got up as well. Which earned him a look from Izzy, he shook it off and followed Magnus out of the room. Not wanting to be there, partying with the others anyways. He really wasn’t in the mood much.

They walked beside each other in silence most of the way. Magnus didn’t really know what to say or why he wanted to bring him at all, it was charming yes, but…they stopped at his room. Or rather Alec’s room and then turned towards each other. He had to lift his head slightly since he was a bit taller than him. Alec looked nervous he noticed; his eyes were moving rapidly from one point to another.

“I had fun tonight. It was great, thank you. Tell Izzy and Simon that I love the new clothes and that I owe them.” Izzy had already told Alec about the shopping trip, so he knew what he was talking about. Not knowing whether to feel offended or happy that they hadn’t asked him to come along.

“I will, tomorrow. I am not going back there tonight.” Alec answered.

“Not your cup of tea, hm?” Magnus chuckled.

“What gave it away?” Alec smiled, for the first time this night. “They suit you. The clothes I mean. You look good.” Magnus face softened at that; oh okay. Maybe he misread his reaction earlier. 

“Thank you, Alec.” He lowered his eyes to the blanket still lying on the floor all forgotten. “Are you going to sleep in the hallway again?”

“No, of course not.” Of course, he was.

“Because if so, you could always come inside and sleep with me?” Magnus suggested with a tug of his shoulders.

Alec gulped instantly and searched his eyes, before he shook his head rapidly, lifting his hand to gesticulate in the air. “Magnus, I don’t, we can’t I mean…” he stuttered.

“On the floor.” Magnus added with a quirked eyebrow.

“Right.” Alec felt stupid for a moment. Had he assumed Magnus was inviting him into bed? Into something else maybe? He totally had.

“If you have nowhere to sleep. I mean. It’s better than the hallway. It’s your room after all I am intruding.” Magnus used his soft voice on him, it was very seductive, at least to Alec.

“Yes, I would like to come with you. Sleep with you! I mean go inside and come, sleep!” he blurted out getting louder with each word as his mouth wouldn’t let him form a coherent sentence anymore.

Magnus laughed wholehearted, loud and mouth wide open and leaning back. It took him a minute to collect himself, his shoulders still shaking lightly he shook his head at him. “How much did you drink Alec?”

Alec chuckled awkwardly. “Enough, I guess. Sorry.” He mumbled.

“Come on in then!” Magnus ordered, patting the other one on the shoulder like a friend would do and went inside, without actually waiting for an answer. Alec stood still for a few seconds and then followed him, still feeling embarrassed at his rubbish outburst.

Magnus was already stripping his shirt off when Alec had entered. Seemingly without a care in the world. Alec froze and took the sight in, every little inch of his body. Oh, how he had missed that body. He didn’t look different to the sight he was used to, really. He had smooth caramel skin, a bit darker than usual maybe he spent more time outside in the past, no scars, no hair. Except…his navel had disappeared. There was nothing but skin. He eyed it for a long moment, wondering what that was about, before Magnus pants followed the shirt, he now stood in nothing but his boxer briefs. He turned to look at the shadowhunter who sported a deep red blush on his cheeks and wasn’t moving an inch.

“Oh, I’m sorry I hope you don’t mind?” Magnus asked, pointing to his bare chest. He was used to sleeping nude and rather confident about his body; taking his boxers off was though a bit too intimate even for his taste. Alec was a guy after all and surely had seen other naked guys before. No big deal, right?

“’s fine.” was all Alec could stutter out at the moment. Magnus went to the bathroom and Alec let out a long breath he didn’t know he was holding. He looked down on himself realising he was still completely dressed and chucked off his boots and jacket. Placing it on the rug next to the bed to form a pillow. He usually slept naked as well, but he couldn’t do that now, it didn’t feel right, he didn’t trust himself to be honest.

He looked down once more, deciding to at least get rid of the pants, sleeping in jeans wasn’t that comfortable when his eyes met something else gracing his body, a proud and obvious bulge. He quickly pressed his palm down on his crotch to get his erection down, but the fella kept pressing against his hand stubbornly. He shouldn’t have stared at Magnus for so long.

The bathroom door opened back up and Alec let himself fall to the ground gracelessly and curled up on himself, facing the door, pretending to be asleep. He felt his knees throb from the land and fought against the urge to whine.

Magnus shot him an odd look as he saw the man already lying down next to the bed. Still completely dressed. He must be very tired. Maybe he should have offered the bed instead? It was his room after all. Magnus felt shame creep up his body and wondered if he should wake Alec again to offer. No, let the man sleep.

He slowly went to the bed and got in and under the thick duvet. He didn’t really know why he had invited the shadowhunter in. He trusted him, somehow. He couldn’t tell why, but he gave off that vibe, that just grounded him in some ways. Maybe his low and calm voice or the way he followed him around. Well, he seemed trustworthy. At least he hoped he was. Magnus looked down the bed and peeked over the edge, to see the man steadily breathing. Well, he was an 800-years-old, powerful warlock after all, he could take care of himself and handle a young shadowhunter, if the said guy would decide to turn crazy on him in the night. He couldn’t let the guy sleep in the hallway.

He snapped his fingers quietly and the room got warmer around them. Alec had no blanket after all and sleeping on the ground was torture enough, he didn’t need to catch a cold as well. Magnus went back into his sleeping position and closed his eyes, drifting off to sleep quickly.

\---

Alec awoke to a jolt of pain running through his left shoulder and arm; he turned to lie on his back with a groan and waved his arm around; which apparently was running out of blood. He hadn’t moved at all that night it seemed. Also, he was sweating; has it been this warm before already? He saw a soft light shining through the curtains above the bed. It must be very early still, which was good, he had a lot of things to do this day.

He pushed himself off the floor to sit, facing the bed, when he saw Magnus hand lying palm upwards over the edge of the bed, a few inches away from his face. His arm was stretched out, it nearly looked like he had tried to reach over to him in his sleep. Alec had to swallow down the urge to touch his fingers and take his hand in his. It was free of anything, free of paint and free of rings. It looked pure and soft and…was he now swooning over his hand? He had every right to do so.

He lifted his fingers to stroked over Magnus palm lightly with his pointer finger, which made the other one twitch. His eyes darted to Magnus face; but he was still sleeping peacefully. It was so hard to not just sneak into bed with him and curl around his naked body and hold him forever. To smell him and touch him. His whole body yearned for it.

He had to confess to himself that the pain was easier to handle with each day that passed, maybe it was because Magnus was still around, he could still speak with him, see him laugh, take care of him. He made it so easy for him to feel good with his charming self and casual attitude. He wasn’t missing him when he was around. But he missed their love and embarrassingly enough he missed his body, he was only human, at least partly and he really had to gather all his strength to not jump him at any given second. It has been a while since they were intimate, it was already a while before Alec had left for Alicante, they were just really busy the past weeks. Which left him taking more cold showers the day than needed.

He sighed overly dramatic and pulled his hand back. He didn’t want to wake him and look like a creep.

He got off the floor slowly and quietly left the room, not without giving Magnus another longing look. He closed the doors behind himself to leave to have a shower in Jace’s room and get to work.

\---

“We have a problem.” Alec stated; his arms crossed over his chest, leaning against the table behind him in his office. Izzy and Jace standing in front of him.

“What kind of problem?” Izzy inquired and came a step closer.

“I forgot about the downworld meeting tomorrow. Luke, Raphael, Meliorn will be there, Magnus is supposed to attend as well.” He said emotionless, but his eyes gave him away, switching from one sibling to the other desperately, like he wanted them to come up with a quick solution out of nowhere.

An awkward silence filled the room.

He had totally forgotten about this. The fact that Magnus was still the High Warlock of Brooklyn after all, that he had duties. How should he be able to fulfil them, what about all his clients? They would surely ask for him in a while, rumours would spread. One problem after the other came to Alec’s mind as he tried to find a solution for all of them at the same time. He really needed to figure it all out soon. Who else would do this?

Magnus was his responsibility and so were his problems his responsibilities as well. He would need to take a day off to think this through and find solutions so nobody would get suspicious. But now back to the most current problem.

“We’ll just say he’s sick.” Jace offered lamely, seemingly without a care.

“Warlocks don’t get sick Jace.” Alec shot back. The blond guy huffed and lifted his arms in despair. “Well, I don’t know then.” He wasn’t of much help. Nothing new.

“Can’t we just talk to him…ask him to play along? We could say they haven’t met the High Warlock of Brooklyn in person yet?” Izzy suggested hopefully. She understood Alec and the dilemma, she wanted to find a good solution as well.

They thought about it for a moment, Alec shook his head to disagree but then got stuck on the thought. Maybe it would work? If this Magnus was at least a little like the older version, he liked to act and have a play. He shrugged not really having another solution.

“Where is he now?” Alec asked, feeling bad he didn’t know it for a moment.

“He’s at breakfast, I saw him before I got here.” Izzy already straightened her body, turning towards the door, knowing what Alec would say next.

“Bring him to me.” Izzy nodded to Alec, letting the commanding tone slip for the moment, she knew her brother was on edge and that was his usual way of reacting.

“I will do so. I’ll be right back.” She pulled Jace with her and left Alec’s office.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Malec's in the air; imagine me wiggling my eyebrows at this point 😏 But don't forget, it's a sloooow burn. Who else want's a pizza 🍕Magnus clearly loved it. Gathering's are always good for the soul and stomach. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and thanks for all the kudos and lovely comments 🤗


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I don’t want to be alone.” Magnus voice stopped him in his motion. Magnus looked overly vulnerable and scared even. Overwhelming feelings of love and protectiveness swelled in Alec’s chest.
> 
> “I won’t leave you.” Alec returned and stood straight again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://ibb.co/brcrwRq)

Magnus sat at breakfast when Izzy came by, telling him that Alec had asked for him and that he was in his office. She showed him the way, but left as soon as he knocked on the door, not wanting to be part of that conversation.

Magnus had woken up not too long ago to a grumbling stomach. He didn’t eat much since he was here, blame the food. He already lost a few pounds he felt. The shadowhunter was already gone, the rug back in place as if he has never been there. He shrugged it off and got dressed as quick as possible to have breakfast. As disgusting as it was, he really needed something to fill his stomach.

He was dressed in a rather tight orange shirt with the saying ‘crazy cat guy’ in bold white letters on its back, paired with deep blue pants. A belt with a small buckle and white sneakers. He liked the orange colour on his skin, it looked bright and rich and he liked to bring in some colour to this dull Institute.

To his surprise the people stared even more than they had done when he wore those weird formal clothes from another century; he thought wearing casual attire would make him more invisible. Nobody seemed to notice Simon when he was around and he was dressed pretty much the same. In fact, Simon had picked those clothes for him at the shop. Why were they always staring at him like he had two heads? Rude. Well, they had to live with it, he wouldn’t go and dress differently again for them. He was not going to wear all black like them, he preferred some colourful things.

“Come in.” a deep voice rang to his ear; he opened it slowly and got inside, closing the door behind him.

“You wanted to see me?” Magnus asked rather quiet, seeing Alec sitting on his desk, doing business stuff intimidated him somehow. He had forgotten the guy was the Head of the Institute along the way. He rethought his fashion choice for the day, seeming it unfitting.

Alec lifted his eyes then and there and his eyes nearly popped out. “What is..oh wow.” He stuttered, checking Magnus out. Magnus looked so casual and…so young. Well not young like a child but his age, not like the 400 years old warlock he was used to seeing. He wore no make up and his hair was hanging down and looking softly. That kind of softness you just have the urge to run your fingers through.

Magnus couldn’t really say if that was flattery or disgust on his face. Alec didn’t seem to like his choice of clothing at all, this was the second time he was gaping at him like that after seeing him.

“I am sorry, I would have dressed differently if I knew I would meet you here.” Magnus only said nervously and played with his hands. “You wanted to see me?” he asked again to change the topic and straightened his back to seem more confident.

Alec had to force himself to look down. Magnus clothes were pretty normal, but it somehow got to his head and not only the one on his shoulders. The pants stuck to his muscles and showed off the pretty light O-shape of his legs. Oh, if he could just nestle in between that thigh gap for a moment.

“Urgh…” Alec gasped and coughed awkwardly as he realised, he had been staring for far too long. Alec shook his head to get himself concentrated. “Yes, yes, please lie down. Eh sit!” Alec stuttered and then quickly gestured to the chair in front of his desk and Magnus sat down, seemingly not having heard the slip up. Magnus didn’t sit down in his usual elegant way, but his legs stretched out wide to each side, leaning back in the chair a little, just like Jace would sit down, or any mid 20-guy for the matter.

Alec peeled his eyes off the crotch Magnus was literally shoving in his eyesight and looked into the warlocks eyes. Magnus brown and sparkling, full eyes that shimmered curiously.

“We have an important downworld meeting tomorrow night, the leaders of every big clan will be there. Luke Garroway from the New York pack, Raphael Santiago and also Meliorn from the seelies. We get together on every second Wednesday to assure peace between the different groups and talk about everything current that is happening and needs our attention.” Alec informed him in his usual shadowhunter business voice.

Magnus nodded, very much liking the idea they seemed to get along this good in this dimension. He had never heard of anything like it, a meeting of werewolves, vampires, seelies and shadowhunters? That was too good to be true really. How did they even establish that?

“Was that your idea?” Masked question startled Alec a little. “Well, yes. It was indeed.” Alec said with a slight pride in his voice. A smile crept its way up his lips. Magnus smiled back with the same pride. That shadowhunter was pretty fine.

“And that is where you come in. The High warlock of Brooklyn is supposed to attend but he…got side-tracked. He can’t come, for a while…he is at the Spiral Labyrinth for an important gathering.” Alec lied as best as he could; he couldn’t stop the stutter though, he sucked at lying. He instantly felt sweat form on his forehead.

Magnus saw Alec was trying hard to form coherent sentences, the slight pale look on his face like he was about to vomit. Maybe he was sick? He looked sick. Magnus searched the room for a bin absentmindedly to hand him in case it got worse.

“They don’t know what he looks like, neither his name, he was just recently appointed and we want you…” he gulped and continued “to replace him. To play the part. See, they expect him to be there and would get…unpleasant if he won’t show up” Alec leaned on his elbows, his hands locked, staring at Magnus intensely. He just hoped Magnus would just accept his lame bluff and not ask too many questions; because he really didn’t know if he could keep the lie up properly.

“Okay.”

“Okay?” Alec’s eyebrows rose to his hairline. “As in…you are doing it?” he didn’t expect him to agree right away.

Magnus noticed the colour coming back to Alec’s face in an instant, the sick look vanished.

“Yes, I am doing it. This sounds like fun.” Maybe that got his mind off of all the confusing and annoying thoughts that roamed his mind at all times. Like how the fuck he got here. “Also, this seems important to you,” Magnus added, he really didn’t want to be rude to Alec, he had allowed Magnus to stay at his Institute after all and also his room. He was being overly welcoming to him, him…a warlock. Really, he didn’t know if he would say no to anything the shadowhunter would ask of him at this point. He really owed him. “Ergo, it’s important to me.”

“Great!” Alec said with the biggest grin Magnus had ever seen, relief visible on his face as he rose from his chair. “I will have everything you need to know brought to your room as soon as possible. I just need to write it all down first. I would suggest you study it until tomorrow, so the others don’t get suspicious.”

“Raphael!” Magnus then shouted. “We met. He knows who I am.”

“It’s okay, Raphael is with us, he will play along.” Meliorn couldn’t know at all costs, he would go to his Queen right away and who knows what she would do with the young warlock, knowing how vulnerable he was at the moment. They had to do anything to get Meliorn’s attention away from Magnus.

“Why can’t you just tell me what I need to know? Is it so much?” Magnus asked, a little doubt about his decision creeping up.

“No, it’s not that much.” Alec answered in a high-pitched voice and ruffled through some of the documents on his desk suspiciously, desperately trying not to look at Magnus. Magnus had the strong feeling the shadowhunter was lying about that part and would hand him a novel later, but he let it slip. He got off his chair and held out his hand. 

“Well then, thank you for having me. I will await the document.” Alec took his hand a little confused about the gesture and shook it. “My pleasure.” Magnus left and couldn’t see Alec slumping into his chair right after; letting out a sigh he had been holding.

\---

Magnus was lying on his back on ‘his’ bed, reading the document someone named Raj had dropped off an hour ago with a mocking snort. Really, why the snort? That guy was rude; he didn’t even know him. The document was long and rather confusing. Written in a shaky handwriting, a lot of things crossed out aggressively and written again above and under, it was a complete mess. If that was Alec’s usual style of writing…bless the poor souls receiving his letters.

The document told him how to behave, how to walk, how to speak, what to wear and a lot of things about the current events. ‘Make up and a mohawk’ he read the part with his eyebrows up in his hairline. Alec was very specific with this. He ended the letter with ‘Alexander Lightwood. Head of the Institute.’ The ending was just as weird as the rest of it. He chuckled a little as a smile tugged on his lips. That shadowhunter was rather cute. He tossed the paper aside, gasping and then staring at the ceiling for a moment.

He couldn’t stop his mind from going other places; he really wanted to distract himself but he couldn’t quite erase the thoughts of everything that is currently happening, that he was in fact stuck in another dimension and there didn’t seem to be anything they could do about it. Catarina had promised to return to him with news as soon as possible and he trusted her with his life; he knew she would do anything possible to help him, but maybe he could try and help as well. Maybe he could try to contact Ragnor himself to speed things up.

He got off the bed and left his room to go for the main hall, the so called ‘operation center’. Surely, he would find a way to get Ragnor’s address from one of these things. He had seen the shadowhunters use them to get all kind of information. He sneaked to one of the blue screens cautiously to not attract too much attention and kept looking around himself. The shadowhunters seemed too busy to notice him, or decided not to give him any attention.

He tapped at the screen once. Twice. Nothing happened. He looked around again and magicked the thing to work without a needed username and password, a little bar opened and Magnus began typing ‘Ragnor Fell’ into it, then tapping enter.

A page opened up and a picture of Ragnor popped right into his view. Oh Ragnor…he stared at it for a little longer, missing his friend instantly. He wondered if Ragnor would be searching for him right now. He surely was as confused as he himself since Magnus had just vanished next to him. Maybe he would find a way to bring him back? Maybe he was already trying over there. He could see him throwing a fit and running all over the place, frustration radiating off of him; Ragnor was always passionate when something triggered him, he would never get loud with his voice though.

Magnus eyes drifted aside to search for the address of this dimension’s Ragnor. There it was. London, England. Magnus began to mentally write the street and number down when his eyes drifted a little lower.

‘Deceased’

He felt his breath get stuck in his throat, his hands began to tremble and the room suddenly seemed to fade away around him. Deceased? What? He tapped at the screen, again and again with more force each time but nothing changed. How was that possible? He wasn’t dead. He can’t be. What sick joke was this?

Magnus backed off and tumbled into the screens behind him, which instantly hit the floor with a loud clatter breaking into a million pieces. Just like his heart.

He turned and knelt down to gather it up quickly but his fingers were trembling too hard, a loud hiss escaped his lips as one of the pieces slit across his palm. He didn’t feel the pain though and continued to get rid of the mess when he felt hands grabbing his shoulders roughly, pulling him up to his feet.

“Magnus, it’s okay!” Jace said to soothe the obviously startled warlock. “It’s just a screen, don’t worry about it.” He held Magnus strongly on his upper arms, to not make him break down again, he seemed to be trembling. Magnus wouldn’t look at him and had a face of pure horror.

Jace didn’t know how to behave or what to do or what had happened really. He searched his face with concern on his own. This actually was nothing to get this startled about. They had tons of those, they can exchange the broken one in an instant. Magnus backed up and fought himself out of the shadowhunter’s grip, turning on his heels he left the Institute through the front doors.

“Magnus!” Jace yelled after him but he was already gone. “Fuck.” Jace hissed and instantly went to find Alec.

\---

Magnus didn’t know for how long he had wandered around aimlessly. He didn’t even feel the rain that had already drenched his clothes. The shirt stuck to his skin; his hair completely wet and hanging low. He just put one foot before the other, his eyes emotionless. It was already dark outside. He could hear the cars rush beside him, but the sounds seemed far away.

It was just too much. Everything. It felt like all his hope was crushed and ripped into little pieces with just one word. If Ragnor was dead…he had to gulp at the thought for a second; did that mean he was also dead in his own world? Maybe something had happened and he…wasn’t there. How would he get any answers now? How…he couldn’t get his head around the thought of his best friend being dead it was just…too much to take in.

He felt a tear roll down his cheek and mixing with the drops of rain already covering his skin. He rubbed it off immediately and fought against the sobs wanting to escape. He wouldn’t cry, he didn’t want to cry. It had been ages since he had last cried and the feeling was just overwhelming.

He needed to talk to somebody about this before it would consume him. He took out his phone and read through the contacts. He let his thumb hover over Catarina’s name for a moment. Why didn’t she tell him about it? She had lied to him; she had never lied to him before. How could she do this? She let him believe Ragnor was alive. His grip tightened around the phone; making it crack slightly; he loosened his grip before he would break it.

He clenched his jaw roughly and looked through his other contacts, not wanting to speak to Catarina right now. He didn’t want to talk to any of the shadowhunters either, they must have known about Ragnor all along. They had lied as well, but then again Magnus hadn’t talked to them about Ragnor much. There were only two people left, Simon and Raphael, the vampires. Simon being Izzy’s boyfriend…he had only one choice left.

With caution and slight disgust, he dialled the number and waited, pressing the phone to his ear. “Yes?” the man answered rather annoyed. “H-Hi it’s Magnus.” - “I know.” - “I thought maybe, I could…I don’t know, where are you? Can we talk? I don’t know where to go.” he actually sounded more desperate than he had aimed for. The line was quiet for a moment before the vampire spoke again. “I will come to you.” He ended the call and Magnus contemplated if this was one of his brightest ideas. Make the vampire come to him, at nearly 8pm, into a dark alley.

Before he could end his thoughts Raphael already stood in front of him. A nearby street lamp’s light reflecting on his pale face. “Dios, Magnus.” He said coming closer and seeing the completely drenched warlock with his watery eyes. He couldn’t tell if from the rain or actual tears. He grabbed his upper arm lightly and Magnus couldn’t tell why but he didn’t feel the need to back away, even more so he felt the need to get closer like some magnetic force and took a step forward almost slouching into the vampire’s arms who caught him instantly. He gripped the fabric of his jacket tight and nestled his face into the vampire’s shoulder who held him back just as tight.

\---

Both sat on a red couch in the middle of some kind of hotel lobby. The place looked rather old and elegant but dark as well, this seemed to be the vampire clan’s place. Magnus held an elegantly looking teacup in his shaky fingers and drank slowly. It warmed him up a little and tasted fine. His wet clothes were folded over the armrests of some chairs beside them, he was dressed in a silky black robe the vampire had given him to change into until his clothes had dried. It had the initials R and S in curvy silver letters stitched on the front. He hadn’t assumed Raphael was the type to wear stuff like this but maybe it was a gift?

They sat beside each other in silence; the vampire was fidgeting next to him, he looked a bit nervous, but also like he was trying to hide it; he definitely was thinking, a lot.

Magnus enjoyed the way the vampire wouldn’t talk much. He wasn’t asking questions. He didn’t know why, but he felt oddly calm around Raphael at the moment. Even though he literally was inside the Vampire’s home, there surely were tons of them around even though he didn’t see them.

“Why are you helping me?” Magnus then mused and eyed the man next to him, he looked a bit startled but then collected himself quickly.

He seemed to think about his answer. “When I was turned into a vampire, a long while ago,” he began and a made a pause, the words seemed to hurt his throat “I had help to find my way around. There was someone, a warlock that guided me and took me under his wings. He was there for me along the way, always. I can never return what he gave me.” He looked up into Magnus eyes. “You remind me of him.” He made another pause. “By helping you, I can maybe give a little back…”

Magnus felt a warm sensation rush through him, he felt the man was speaking the truth and his voice was filled with devotion for the warlock he was speaking about. He nodded with a light smile.

“I am sure he appreciates that.” Magnus tells him, to make him feel better, just like he had made him feel better. He mentally erased the note saying creep next to Raphael’s name in his mind. He was rather okay.

“I just got to know that a friend of mine had died.” Magnus then whispered, eyeing the teacup now. He knew he had to explain his current state at one point and why he had called at all. “I am sorry Magnus…who was it?” Raphael replied with the same whisper.

“His name was Ragnor. He was my best friend,” Magnus voice broke and he couldn’t end the sentence, trying to fight against those damn sobs again. Raphael straightened himself and looked around with uncertainty. “Did you know him?” Magnus asked, seeing the odd reaction. The vampire looked like he was fighting a battle on the inside before he answered his question.

“Yes, I did.” Raphael’s brown eyes bore into Magnus’. “I am sorry to let you know this way…I…wait,” Magnus trailed off. “You already know.” Realization hit him. Raphael nodded a bit shaky. Magnus had to gulp down the bile forming in his throat. Everyone knew. Everyone fucking knew and nobody had decided to tell him. “Magnus, I am sorry for your loss. He must have meant a lot to you. I am here for you if you let me.” Raphael rose his hand like he wanted to stroked over Magnus arm but decided against it, placing it back in his lap, before twitching in his seat and taking out his phone that was vibrating loudly.

“Hello Alec.” Raphael answered without even looking at the Caller ID; his voice was a mix of defence and boredom. The soft tone in his voice in which he had talked to Magnus before was instantly gone. This vampire seemed to be really powerful, he must be some kind of mind reader. Magnus decided to think about how much he liked the vampire and how amazing he was…just in case he was in fact mind reading.

“No, I haven’t”…”No.”…”No again.”…”Look, I have things to do if you don’t mind.” He was about to press the end button when he listened intently to the guy on the other end and something seemed to change his mind. His face softened and he lowered the phone and then handed it to Magnus without saying a word.

Magnus put down his teacup and then took the phone and pressed it against his ear. “Yes?” he heard a long sigh on the other end. “Magnus! I’ve been looking everywhere for you. Where are you? Are you okay?” he could hear that the man was out of breath and heard cars rushing by, people talking. He must be outside.

“I am with Raphael at the,” he couldn’t end his sentence as Alec interrupted him. “Wait there, I will pick you up. Wait there you hear me!” the guy nearly shouted and the call ended. Well, that was weird?

\---

Jace had rushed into his office a few hours ago, telling him Magnus had ran off and seemed on the verge of breaking down and that he wasn’t answering his call, after seeing the open page about Ragnor on the screen as well as the broken things next to it; Alec knew exactly what had happened and feared the worst. All his thoughts instantly gone, he just felt one need, to find Magnus as quick as possible to see if he was okay. He shouldn’t have left him alone; he should have kept on eye on him, he cursed himself.

He had spent the next hours walking the city and knocking on every door of people he knew that knew Magnus, he had tried to call him multiple times but he never picked up; at one point he had started to run, not minding the rain dropping on his body forcefully. His heart was pounding heavily against his chest, he felt exhausted and tired but full of adrenaline and fear all the same.

He ended up at their loft and was just about to enter to see if he was inside, of course he wasn’t but Alec was desperate at this point; when a thought struck him. Raphael had given Magnus his number and so without thinking much, he called him right away, a bad feeling in his stomach. Raphael wasn’t his favourite; really, he didn’t like that guy at all. But he knew that Raphael would never hurt Magnus, so that at least calmed him a bit. But he didn’t trust Raphael at all and didn’t want him around Magnus.

\---

“You have to leave.” Raphael commanded, pushing Magnus up.

“Why? What’s wrong?” Magnus grabbed the band around his waist that was holding the robe in place and watched the vampire with wide eyes.

“That shadowhunter hates me. I don’t want to experience…that again.” He just said and handed him his still slightly wet clothes. Experience what exactly? What was he talking about? Magnus stumbled on one leg, trying to get his pants on, before he pushed the robe off to put on his shirt. When he was fully dressed, Raphael nearly dragged him towards the entrance.

“Thank you, for everything.” Magnus looked down at the slightly smaller vampire and gave him a hug, before he wouldn’t be able to anymore. Raphael seemed to want to get rid of him fast. The vampire seemed completely caught off guard, it took a second before he returned the embrace just as tight. Magnus couldn’t see the smile that tugged on the vampire’s lips. Something about hugging Raphael seemed right. Magnus pulled away and then left the building.

He stood, leaning against the stonewall and waited for the shadowhunter to arrive. He didn’t really know why he was waiting for him; he was a grown up man he didn’t need people to pick him up, but Alec sounded intimidating enough to make Magnus stay and wait. Maybe he would scold him for breaking that Screen and running off like a child.

Alec darted around the corner soon after, looking completely lost. He rushed forward and nearly ran towards the warlock, his cheeks bright red from running, his hair wet. He was panting heavily.

“Magnus.” He breathed once he reached him and tried to collect himself.

“Alec? Are you okay?” He couldn’t oversee Alec’s completely shattered appearance. He didn’t look any like the intimidating and collected shadowhunter he usually was. Concern rose in Magnus as he watched Alec try to collect himself. Maybe something had happened to him? He couldn’t be behaving like that because of Magnus being gone for a few hours and breaking a screen right?

“I am…I, are you?” his eyes roamed over the other man’s body as if searching for injuries.

“I’m fine.” Magnus simply said, not unkindly but a little defensive, crossing his arms in front of his chest. He didn’t know what this was about. And really, he had no intention of talking to Alec about Ragnor.

Alec knew that ‘I’m fine’ all too well, to know he wasn’t fine. He knew what Magnus had seen before this, about Ragnor and how he must feel. He didn’t know how to comfort him though, he would take him in his arms and rub his back, just hold him and let him relax in his arms; if it was his Magnus…well, it was his Magnus…and he had to be there for him.

“I am sorry about Ragnor. You shouldn’t have found out this way. I know he was your friend.”

Magnus eyes twitched, showing his emotions for a brief second. He then clenched his teeth and looked away, staring at the wall next to them, trying his best not to break down right then and there. He hated the fact the shadowhunter seemed to look right through his façade, like he knew him for ages, not buying the lies he spilled like everybody else would.

“Will you come back with me?” Alec asked with caution, he saw how full of emotion Magnus was at this moment. Magnus fixed his eyes back on him.

“Why are you here Alec?” Alec straightened himself and pressed his lips into a thin line.

“I wanted to make sure you are all right. You live with us and as Head of the Institute you are my responsibility as well.” And I love you. He ended the sentence in his mind.

Magnus wanted to bark something back; tell him he could handle himself, but somehow he couldn’t. Alec cared for him, it was very visible and everything he said and did and Magnus had done nothing but cause him trouble so far. More work. Longer days. And now he ran off and made Alec chase him down instead of doing more important things. Magnus felt guilty. “I will come back with you.” He said lowering his arms from his chest.

They walked back in silence, all the way, until they stood in front of Alec’s room again. The silence wasn’t awkward, to be honest it felt good, to get your head clear and not be alone.

“If you need to talk about this…I am a good listener.” Alec’s voice was almost a whisper. “Okay, well I will,” he pointed to the ground and was about to sit down.

“I don’t want to be alone.” Magnus voice stopped him in his motion. Magnus looked overly vulnerable and scared even. Overwhelming feelings of love and protectiveness swelled in Alec’s chest.

“I won’t leave you.” Alec returned and stood straight again.

Magnus felt some kind of relief and regret all the same. He really didn’t want to sleep alone this night but using Alec to satisfy his need was not the kindest way. He didn’t seem to mind it too much though.

They went inside and Magnus undressed again, Alec did the same, leaving his shirt and pants on though, as he went to lie down on the rug. The bed squeaked a little when Magnus did the same and curled up under the covers. He let one of his pillows drop aside for Alec and heard a mumbled “Thanks.” From the man and then closed his eyes to have some rest. He really needed rest.

Alec could hear quiet sobs echo through the room. He wished he would be able to comfort him somehow, but there really was no way at the moment. He knew Magnus wouldn’t let him, more so he knew he wouldn’t want Alec to know he was crying. Alec felt tears gather on the edge of his eyes and quickly wiped them away. He couldn’t help it, he couldn’t stand hearing Magnus cry, it hurt just too much. And maybe it was all just a little much for him at the moment. If only he could hold Magnus…He needed to make this better, to make Magnus feel better. He will come up with something. He clenched his eyes shut to get sleep and get away from the sobbing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm glad you made it through this emotional, long chapter. Magnus won't get a break will he. This must surey be devastating 🙄 But he can always count on his new 'old' friends and of course...Alec 😍 I hope you enjoyed this light angst chapter. Raphael was officially 'uncreeped' how about that?! Also, let's see how Magnus manages playing the High Warlock of Brooklyn at the downworld meeting next time. I feel more awkwardness arise 😁 Thanks for all the comments and kudos, I enjoy them so much!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It’s not what it looks like.” Alec rushed straight past her, fully ignoring his little sister. Izzy followed him on his heels, not letting this go so easily, of course he knew that. His sister was very persistent.
> 
> “Alec, you can’t do that. You know what Catarina said, you have to keep away from him.” She scolded rather breathlessly and tried to follow his long steps through the corridors on her tiny legs. Her heels clicking loudly on the ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://ibb.co/N1zC4jY)

Alec left the room to the first rays of sunshine, but not before giving Magnus a feather light stroke over his soft hair. There was a wet spot next to Magnus face on the pillow and Alec had to fight back the urge to grab the warlock and press him to his chest and never let go, seeing Magnus suffer…silently, was something he couldn’t take. He hasn’t seen Magnus cry often in all the time they were together. He could count it on one hand, even less. He would try anything to never let it happen again. He gave Magnus another look and then closed the door behind himself quietly, turning to see Izzy standing right in front of him; her arms crossed, her head tilted aside with a knowing look on her face.

“It’s not what it looks like.” Alec rushed straight past her, fully ignoring his little sister. Izzy followed him on his heels, not letting this go so easily, of course he knew that. His sister was very persistent.

“Alec, you can’t do that. You know what Catarina said, you have to keep away from him.” She scolded rather breathlessly and tried to follow his long steps through the corridors on her tiny legs. Her heels clicking loudly on the ground.

“I am keeping away okay, nothing happened. He needed me.” He stopped in front of Jace’s room to turn to Izzy. “I have to shower now, please trust me; I know what I’m doing.” She lifted an eyebrow at him. “Shower?...yes, sure you do.” Her eyes went down his body and back up as if she wasn’t believing a word he was saying. He rolled his eyes and went inside. Jace was still asleep; lying all over the bed. The room looked messy, but when was it not. He tip-toed his way to the bathroom to get ready.

\---

Magnus sat at his usual spot at breakfast; dressed in tight black pants with gaps on the knees; a thin white pullover that was slightly too long for his upper body, the sleeves reaching to his fingertips, the seam hanging over his backside. He needed some comfy wear that morning. His hair was hanging low and into his eyes as he nibbled on some all too soft bread. He was crouched at the table, his back bent and his elbows resting on the table. He looked completely out of place; all other shadowhunters dressed in black sitting up straight, collected and serious. His eyes stung and felt as dry as the sahara heat.

Clary sat beside him and placed her tray down. “Good Morning?” she asked more than said, seeing the shattered warlock in front of her. “What happened to you? You look…different.” Not only speaking of the clothes, the hair, but the expression on his face. His usual elegant eyes swollen and red. Magnus wasn’t in the mood to hide his emotions at the moment and really, he didn’t know if he could even if he wanted. He had spent the past night crying his eyes out; partly hoping Alec hadn’t noticed. He didn’t cry often and he never would in front of others, at least he tried to. He had already cried all too much in his past to shed anymore tears over stupid things.

“Didn’t sleep too well.” He answered reluctantly and put the bread back down. He really didn’t want to talk about Ragnor to her. He didn’t want to talk to anybody about Ragnor. In fact, he didn’t want to talk at all.

Clary felt guilt rise up in her chest. This was her fault after all. All of this. Magnus being here and now suffering for whatever reason. She realised she hadn’t even gotten the chance to talk to Magnus about what had happened yet, she had successfully pushed the matter aside in her head, dreading the conversation. ”Magnus…I have to tell you something.”

“I know.” Magnus said not unkindly and faced her, a smile tugging on the edges of his lips. He wasn’t in the mood to talk, but he was not going to let it out on her and from the tone in her voice and tension in her body he knew exactly what she was about to say.

“You do??? Oh…okay. Magnus I am so sorry, I never meant for this to happen…I will fix it.” Her voice sounded genuine and desperate all the same. “I will make it up to you as good as possible. Tell me, what do you want to do today?” She tried to change the topic but also make him feel better, anyway she could. She was more than relieved he seemed to have forgiven her, or at least acted like it. She wouldn’t push her luck now.

He contemplated her offer for a moment, when an idea popped up in his head. “There is something you can help me with actually.” Clary instantly lit up; her eyes wide open.

“What is it? I will do anything.” She clapped her hands in excitement.

“Can you help me with putting on make up? I need it for…well, Alec.” Clary’s eyes narrowed instantly. “Make up? For Alec? I-I don’t get it.” She shook her head in confusion.

“He asked me to attend this meeting tonight and he wants me to dress up as the High Warlock of Brooklyn who apparently dresses like a mixture of a 19th century noble man and a goth.” He explained with a grunt and Clary blinked at him for a few moments. It was weird seeing Magnus mock himself. It was kind of funny when you thought about it, that one day he would dress just exactly like that on his own will.

“Sure. Of course. We could meet later today and I will do your make up. I’d be happy to do that Magnus.” She chimed.

“Thank you, Biscuit.”

“You are very welcome my Caramel.” Magnus eyebrows rose instantly, a grin appearing on his lips. “Caramel? Did you just call me caramel?” Clary opened her mouth to defend herself. “I am just kidding. It’s all right. Just don’t call me that around the other Shadowhunters, they already think I’m weird.” Magnus interrupted her, amusement in his voice, before she could speak. Actually, he quite liked the fact he had gotten a nickname back, he couldn’t remember if he had ever had one.

\---

He spent the next hours in the gardens; it was a warm summer day, the sun shining very bright on the sky and no clouds in sight. He was mostly hidden in this place of the garden, he liked to be here. He walked up and down, trying to seem elegant and waving his hands around in a flourish manner; Alec’s document clutched in his left hand. He had studied the document Alec had him handed yesterday by heart and now tried his best to look like the warlock they wanted him to portray. He repeated the words quietly. “I am Magnus Bane, High Warlock of Brooklyn, at your service.” “Hey, it’s Magnus. Let’s get this party started.” “Bane, Magnus Bane. I’ve been expecting you.” He changed his voice with every try, making it lower and higher.

He didn’t see Alec standing in the window frame and watching his every move from inside, smiling from ear to ear. It became quite the habit of him that he went there to watch him everytime Magnus would leave for the garden. Of course, he had things to do, but those could wait, there were far more important and beautiful things to do than write reports all day. This was important too. He had to keep an eye on him. It wasn’t like he was just watching him for fun. Alec chuckled loudly as Magnus rehearsed sitting down, on one of the benches several times.

Magnus had stopped to have a little break and sat on the grass eating an apple he had brought with him, watching the birds fly by, he had earphones in that Simon had given him to listen to the music on his phone. It consisted of mostly some weird music Simon had called ‘K-Pop’. It was in Korean and even though Magnus knew the language and got every word, he didn’t know whether to feel offended at Simon giving him so much Asian music instead of just any music. He was kind enough to add a few English ones as well though. Magnus wouldn’t admit that the K-Pop got to him instantly though and he bobbed his head while chewing on his apple. This was nice.

\---

Evening was coming closer sooner than Magnus liked and his nerves were skyrocketing as he paced his room up and down. There was a knock on his door and Magnus opened instantly. Clary came in with a surprise on her face to see the flustered warlock, only wearing a towel around his hips. “Are you okay?” He only sighed loudly and threw his hands up. “I can’t do this. I don’t know what to wear, I don’t know what to say.” He rambled and Clary had to stop him from panicking.

She had never seen Magnus act and talk like this; he has always been so collected and confident around her in the past. Well, the old Magnus that is. She kind of imagined Magnus having always been this confident. Popping out of his mom elegantly with a drink in hand, dressed like a peacock. But of course, that was nonsense and she now realised Magnus has been a normal young guy once that had no answers; like everyone else their age. It was kind of cute and she felt eager to help him.

“Okay, first thing’s first, try to breath slowly. In and out.” Magnus followed her advice and calmed instantly.

It was only then, that Magnus noticed Clary holding a box in her petite hands. “What’s this?”

“It’s clothes for you, Alec brought them.” She dropped the box on the bed and opened it, pulling out a complete outfit and displaying it on the floor next to her.

It was a brown shimmering velvet button up shirt, a rather expensive looking black jacket with silver-golden chains attached to the shoulder parts. Elegant and shiny pointed black shoes, dark pants and a necklace. It wasn’t much color, but rather formal for the occasion. Magnus had to wonder where Alec got those clothes from. It didn’t look like anything the shadowhunter would wear. Clary pulled out the last piece, a bottle of black nail polish.

The panic was beginning to rise again as he eyed the objects, but Clary wouldn’t let him. “Come on, chop chop. Get dressed.” Magnus circled his finger to make her turn around, which she did immediately and got rid of the towel to put on the clothes he was given. Not without a groan or two. Even though the clothes stuck to his skin tightly, they fit rather well, those definitely weren’t Alec’s clothes since he was much taller. Did Alec buy those for him? No…surely not. Weirdly enough they smelled like the stuff Magnus wore himself.

“I’m done. I think.” Clary turned and gaped at him. “What?...do I look ridiculous?”

“No…” she said softly. “You don’t Magnus. You look perfect.” She said with such genuine affection that it made Magnus wonder about her intentions for a moment. He smiled a little shy.

She took his hand and guided him to the chair next to the table and sat him down; she hopped on the table and took his chin in her hand and pulled his face up a little roughly. “Don’t move.” She whispered, chewing on her lip right after and Magnus opened his eyes wide so she could draw around them.

“This is really nice of you Clary.” He whispered through his closed lips.

“It’s the least I can do Magnus, don’t worry about it. But please, don’t speak.” Magnus pressed his lips together once more.

She eye-lined his eyes perfectly, then put a light shade of rose on his lips, before blowing some glitter into his face without a warning, which made him cough loudly. Before he could even protest, she had her sticky hands in his hair and pulled it up into a mohawk. “Ouch…” he hissed, but she wasn’t paying attention to him at all. She was completely focused on the task at hand and knew exactly what he had to look like it seemed. She didn’t even read the document, Magnus thought. She placed his hands on her thighs and painted his nails without a single little mistake. “Put them on.” She said pointing to the rings lying on his table when she was done. He put them on and got up to stand in front of her.

She smiled softly and nodded. “Yes…there you are.” She deemed her work done and perfect, before giving Magnus an embrace and some encouraging words. She left after waving at him from the door and Magnus turned around to have a look at himself in the long mirror. He wouldn’t open his eyes for a few seconds before peeling them open one after the other.

“Oh my.” The words escaped his mouth before he even took the whole sight in. He looked completely different; like a different man, much older and wiser and cooler he had to agree. He tilted his head aside as he watched himself. It felt like some Déjà vu yet again, he had seen himself looking like this before, the day he had come to this dimension. He was dressed the same, with the same make up. A thought dawned on him then, maybe this was what warlocks looked like in this dimension. Maybe all of them dressed like this…Catarina had always been in her ‘nurse’ outfit when he had met her and he hadn’t met any other warlock.

He took a look at his painted fingers and the rings gracing them. He wiggled his ringfinger for a moment, again remembering the pretty L-Ring he had lost, it would suit his outfit now. He actually wasn’t as disgusted by this outfit as he was the first time around; somehow it suited him, he liked how snobby he looked, he could maybe pull off anything in this outfit; he felt confidence boost in his chest and felt more than ready to play his role for the first time.

\---

Alec pointed to the chair with one hand, his other arm behind his back, after greeting Meliorn the seelie who got in last. Luke and Raphael already sitting at the table and chatting. The conference room was dark as all the others; only a huge banner of symbols of the different groups hanging from the ceiling behind the table. The atmosphere couldn’t be more un-welcoming, but there was only so much Alec could do, he was no interior designer. He had placed cups and water on the table, as well as a little lost looking flower in the middle he had picked in the gardens. A note and a pen on his place. That had to do.

He looked at his watch, it was already 7pm and Magnus was nowhere to be seen. He sighed and walked to the others, taking his seat. He looked around, seeing the others eyeing the empty chair. He coughed to get their attention. “Mr. Bane is…,” he began when the warlock darted around the corner.

“I am sorry Gentlemen; I was busy with a client.” He explained in a low and husky voice and quickly sat down on the still empty chair. The men looked at him, not really surprised by the warlocks behaviour; all but Alec whose eyes seemed to plop out of the sockets. Magnus…this…he…its…He couldn’t believe his eyes; the man looked exactly the same as he knew him, make up, rings, hair, necklaces, outfit. He couldn’t peel his eyes away. Even the tone in his voice was the same. This was his fiancé. Alec felt his heartbeat increase in an instant and forgot about why they had even met here in the first place.

Magnus gave him a little nod to make him start talking, a smile playing on his lips. Alec coughed awkwardly the second time this night and began his welcome speech. Yes right, downworld meeting.

Magnus followed every word, his eyes stuck on his lips and nodded to himself; he was prepared for this, he was, he had spent hours preparing for this. He knew about everything the shadowhunter talked about and even made a comment here and there. Talking to Luke and Meliorn as if he would know them. Remembering to also wave his hands around while speaking, just as Alec had ordered him to do in the document. He got more and more into the role as time passed by. Nobody seemed to notice anything.

He looked over to Alec every other minute to seek approval and always found the shadowhunter already staring back at him, like he was watching him all the time. He surely feared Magnus would fuck this up and wanted to keep an eye on him. Though his eyes gave away a vibe of adoration whenever he stared into them. Maybe he liked what he was doing after all. Which only encouraged Magnus to continue and give even more. He wanted to make Alec proud.

“The warlocks will support the cause; you have my word.” Luke gave Magnus a firm nod. “I know my friend; you have never failed to do what’s right.” Luke’s words were warm. Magnus smiled awkwardly and nodded back; happy the werewolf turned his attention back to Alec. Magnus sipped on his water; wondering about the comment.

He received a few gentle and amused looks from Raphael throughout the time. Having him present and know about what was going on kind of calmed him; Raphael had a very calming aura. Weird how the image of a person can change in such a short matter of time. He zoned out for a moment thinking. This was so nice actually; to be part of this meeting of different downworlders and shadowhunters and he wished it would be this easy back in his world too.

“Maybe your fiancé can explain the matter.” The rather mocking looking seelie said, his chin lifted and staring down at him. Magnus looked at him from above the edge of his glass and put it back down; damn; just the exact moment he hadn’t paid any attention to the conversation. Who’s fiancé? Were they talking to him? What were they saying? Was he supposed to speak? Panic rose in his chest and he gaped for a moment. He could see Alec straightened himself and fidgeting with his jacket.

“I agree, completely.” Magnus then said with determination and a final nod.

The seelie watched him suspiciously for longer than was needed, an eyebrow lifted and then turned back to Alec to speak with him. He heard the words ‘drunk?’ and ‘nothing new’ being mumbled.

Phew, that was close…that could have ended awkward…he thought when appallingly loud music echoed through the wide and open room.

‘You can’t stop me loving myself - Eolssu joda - You can’t stop me loving myself - Jihwaja joda - You can’t stop me loving myself - Oh oh oh ohh, oh oh oh ohh ohhh, oh oh oh ohh’

He felt all eyes on him, comically wide and realised it was own mobile phone ringing with his new K-Pop ringtone, he had obviously forgotten to mute. He felt the ground shift beneath him, an increasing blackness swallowing him up from all sides; he hoped the ground would just open up and swallow him.

He fished for his phone and tapped the screen violently, but the song didn’t stop, how was that…how do you accept the call, or end it or…to his horror nothing worked, his heartbeat drummed against his chest as the song kept on filling the thick air in the room. He felt sweat form on his whole body. He knew how to accept a call, but his mind had decided to go blank on him, not remembering how to use that damn thing in any way.

He got up, making the chair stumble to the floor with the force behind his abrupt movement and turned to rush out of the room. Really, he had no other idea of what to do since the ground wouldn’t take his plea to get him of there. He wasn’t running but walking quickly, his head low and his arms stiff. He slammed the door shut behind himself and stood frozen, taking one breath after the other.

He looked down at his hands and saw them being empty as he heard the song still playing from inside the meeting room.

Oh Lilith, why.

He opened the door again slowly and walked back to the table, not looking up at any of them, but he realised they were still not talking nor moving so they surely still had their eyes on him. He grabbed his phone once he reached them. “I’m sorry…” he murmured and turned back around to leave.

\---

Magnus stood in the ops center, frozen, his arms crossed over his chest and clinging to his own sides. He had totally fucked up; Alec had put his trust in him and has been so patient and that is how he returned it. He didn’t even know who had called and he didn’t care much at this point. He just felt full of guilt and shame. Pure shame. He stared at the ground, cursing it for not helping him earlier. He didn’t know if he had ever felt this embarrassed in his life. He was doing so good before, at least he thought so and then something like this had to happen and ruin everything. He just wanted to run and hide somewhere but he knew he owed Alec an explanation and an apology. Or maybe 10 apologies.

He lifted his eyes as he heard a squeak of the door to see Meliorn, Raphael and Luke leaving the conference room. Meliorn gave him a mocking look, Luke smiled lightly and Raphael looked emotionless as usual. Magnus lowered his eyes immediately and wished for them to be gone finally. When he looked back up, he saw Alec coming his way with a serious face. Okay, here it comes…

“Alec…I am so sorry.” Magnus began but stopped right then, seeing a smile spread on Alec’s face as he reached him. The smile got wider and he tried to force it down. What was going on? He heard the heavy entry doors close loudly as the three were gone and Alec then stopped working against his laugh and let it out, leaning on his knees for a second.

“That was amazing.” Alec said rather breathlessly. “You should have seen their faces. I thought Meliorn was going to explode from the loud music. He looked so disgusted.”

Magnus couldn’t help but smile along, even though he was confused as hell. Alec’s wide smile was just contagious. “I thought you were going to banish me from the Institute.” He muttered in between; his body still tense.

“What? Why? No…” Alec shot back, catching his breath. “You were great in there.”

Magnus quirked a brow. “Great? That is what you call great?” That was a disaster.

“Yes. That is what I call great Magnus” He looked him right in the eyes, as if he was referring to something else. “Thank you so much, you don’t know how much you’ve helped us.” Alec’s breath got back to normal and he straightened himself.

“You are welcome?” Magnus returned, still not understanding. He really thought he had fucked it up. He wasn’t professional at all, but all over the place. Not listening sometimes and giving vague answers. Not like a High Warlock should have behaved in his opinion. But somehow Alec thought he played the role just fine, great even. Maybe Magnus was too self-critical. He had always been.

“Do you maybe…want to get a drink?” Alec asked stuttering slightly and Magnus head snapped back up. “A drink?” he repeated like a parrot, the other one nodded, a confused expression plastered on his face like he didn’t know why he was asking that.

“Sure, why not. Just ehm, let me get something more comfortable to wear. And get rid of…this.” He waved his hand over his face, referring to his over-dramatic make up.

Alec lit up and nodded again. “Yes, of course. Me too. We can meet in say, an hour?”

“Sounds great.” Magnus beamed and then walked away, only to turn back once more. “Are the others coming as well?”

Alec gulped, some emotion running over his face, he couldn’t quite place his finger on and then answered. “Yeah, sure.”

“Okay, see you in an hour!” and off he was.

\---

After taking a shower and getting rid of most of his make up, a bit eyeliner still stuck on his lids; he thought it framed his eyes rather nicely actually; he got rid of the lipstick and nailpolish though. He dressed himself in a tight dark grey shirt, a jeans jacket and the black jeans with gaps on the knees he wore before; he liked the pointy elegant shoes Alec had brought him so he put them back on as well. As well as the ‘M’ ring and a necklace. He also kept the mohawk, it looked rather fancy.

Where were they going? Was it some posh place or more the shabby type? He rethought his fashion choice for a few minutes, just blankly staring at himself in the mirror. He had a very annoying habit of dressing completely wrong for the place and occasion. He would learn that someday hopefully. Well, if it was something more elegant, he would just try and magic his outfit better. It worked…sometimes.

He muted his phone, he had learned his lesson, magicked some money into his pockets, he would give it back eventually and then left for the entrance, where they had agreed to meet. Taking two steps at once he danced his way down the stairs. Alec was already standing there waiting, his arms behind his back and his eyes glued to the wall; he wore a thin deep blue jacket, the rest of his clothes black, it didn’t look like he had changed much at all, except for the jacket.

“I hope I didn’t let you wait.” Magnus greeted the man who looked at him then.

“No, I just got here.” he lied. He stood there for half an hour like some idiot. Staring at the wall and wondering why he had done what he did; asking Magnus to go for a drink with him. He was supposed to keep his distance but he just couldn’t and he didn’t want to. He knew it was rather selfish, but he allowed himself to be selfish once in a while. Alec let his eyes run over Magnus clothes. How could that man look so perfect in just everything. And that leather jacket actually did things to him he didn’t want to think about any further.

He wondered if Magnus had picked those clothes or either Simon or Izzy. He felt the need to know if Magnus liked those clothes or if it was rather forced on him. But then again, Alec was sure Magnus wouldn’t wear anything he wasn’t comfortable with. At least he hoped so. He did look very confident though. And sexy. Did he mention sexy? Sexy. Very sexy.

“Good. Where are the others?” Magnus asked looking around himself, not seeing the way Alec would check him out shamelessly.

“They eh, they are still on duty but will follow us right after.” Alec explained as he snapped back to reality. Magnus nodded and went to stand by his side. “Shall we?” he opened the door and Alec nodded with a smile. “Yes.” They left, Alec leading the way and Magnus following him through the busy streets of New York.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, that went well didn't it? Magnus totally rocked it...literally 😂 What do you think about Magnus playing himself, odd isn't it. And how about that, is that a date? A Malec date? 😏 Well, we'll see next chapter. Thank you all for the kind comments and all the kudos on the last chapter. I hope you enjoyed this one too 🤗
> 
> The song is "Idol" from BTS if you want to know and maybe listen to it.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “When are the others coming? I totally forgot.” Magnus changed the topic. Alec let go of his arm and tried to concentrate his foggy mind. “Which others?”
> 
> “The others, Clary, Jace, Izzy, Simon…weren’t we supposed to meet here?” Magnus asked a bit confused.
> 
> “Oh that…I lied.” Alec grinned shamelessly and steadied himself on the pool table with both hands; arms stretched out, leaning forward lightly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://ibb.co/JrnBkXZ)

It was still warm outside, but not that unbearable heat that made you melt on the spot. It was that kind of warmth in late summer, that snuggled around your body comfortingly. Alec wasn’t taking the direct route but the one using the less busy sidewalks so they could actually talk and not be disturbed by people running into them every other second.

“What was that song on your phone?” Alec broke the silence. He had never heard Magnus play music like that and in fact he didn’t know what it was at all. He neither knew the language nor the sound of it. He could tell it was Asian though, at least he thought so, he instantly felt slightly stupid for not knowing.

“Oh, it’s a song Simon gave me. He put some music on my phone for me to listen to, it’s mostly some Korean stuff.”

“That’s pretty racist.” Alec stated a little amused. “Isn’t it? I thought so. I am not even Korean.” Magnus stated. “Where do you come from?” he then asked with the best curiosity he could muster. Of course, Alec knew, but Magnus didn’t know that he knew and he didn’t want to come across rude for not asking anything about the man.

“Indonesia. But I grew up in Spain mostly. You?” Magnus watched Alec from aside.

“Well, New York.” He answered feeling lame. “I didn’t get around so much before…well.” He looked down while walking. Before Magnus had shown him the world.

“New York is great really, I always wanted to visit.” Magnus tried to comfort the other one as he saw a little spark of shame in his eyes. There really was nothing to be ashamed about. Alec was still young and could travel the world later. “I can imagine myself owning a house or an apartment here, something up high with a great view over the city. That must be fascinating.”

Alec gave him an odd look and chuckled. “You still can.” And you will.

“Well, maybe one day.” He pushed his hands into his jeans pockets and looked down, walking forward. “If you have the time, maybe you could give me a tour around the city?” He knew Alec was a busy man and instantly felt stupid for asking at all. He should ask one of the others.

“I’d love to.” Alec answered to his surprise and gave him a genuine smile from aside.

The rest of the way they walked in comfortable silence, before they reached a bar, Hunter’s Moon it said and went inside. Magnus followed the other one to the counter and sat down with him. The place was packed with people of all kind, Magnus could tell right away. Seeing a few werewolves and seelies roaming the bar. It smelled alcoholic and also slightly sweaty. The lights were dim and loud music played in the background. It seemed to be some kind of downworlder bar; Magnus liked that, but also wondered why Alec would go here, being a shadowhunter, did he do so to make Magnus feel comfortable? Was it normal for Shadowhunters and downworlders to mingle like that in here? Truly amazing.

“My most beloved boys.” The beautiful bartender girl, with curly hair and rows of bright white teeth welcomed them and stopped abruptly in her tracks; Magnus looked from her to Alec and saw him moving his hand away from his own throat; they had seemed to talk in silence, but Magnus didn’t get it.

“Well, Hello?” Maja asked confused after she had received the ‘cut it immediately’ sign from Alec. Fuck, he had forgotten Maia was going to be here, of course he hadn’t had the chance to tell her about Magnus yet.

“Hey, I’m Magnus, nice to meet you.” Magnus said delighted and reached forward. Maia eyed him for a moment and put her dish towel and glass down to grab his hand. “Maia?” she asked rather than said; confusion visible in her eyes. Alec hid his face in his palm. This was going to end bad.

“Lovely to meet you, Magnus. What do you want?” She smiled widely; the confusion erased off her features. She went back to polishing the glasses like nothing odd had just happened. Alec thanked the angels Maia was a smart girl. Magnus looked over at all the alcohol behind her. “A whiskey please.” Alec pointed two fingers at her and she nodded, grabbing the alcohol to fill two glasses and handed them over and left the boys, but not before giving Alec an awkward face who gave her the ‘don’t ask’ look.

They drank in silence for a minute. “Well, that was awkward.” Magnus then stated the obvious. “Do you know each other?”

“Yes, we do. I come here often.” He placed his glass down to look at Magnus. “She is very nice, intelligent and oh, she is a werewolf.” Magnus nodded. “I noticed. Mundane eyes usually don’t sparkle green. And also…” he made a scratching move along his neck to point out he had seen the obvious scars. Alec nodded and took another sip, licking the liquid off his upper lip after. Magnus was looking around himself still, taking the place in.

Alec noticed Magnus wandering looks and didn’t know whether he liked it or was uncomfortable, he seemed slightly nervous. Funny, he thought as he remembered the first time Magnus had brought him here, he had reacted just the same. The memory warmed his heart and also the thought that he could repay all these lovely first moments Magnus gave him once. “Do you want to play?” Alec nodded his head towards the pool table in the far end corner behind the counter.

“Sure, of course. Let’s play.” He hopped off the stool and darted towards the table eagerly, Alec following him on his heels. Magnus stopped at the table and placed his glass down on it. He searched the table for anything that seemed familiar. It was a huge rectangular green table with holes. That was it. Alec put his jacket on one of the stools and then took two cues from the wall and placed them on the table; taking out the rest of the equipment from underneath the table with movements that told Magnus he had done that multiple times before. He took another sip from his whiskey and then looked down at Magnus, one cue in his hand and a smirk on his face “Let’s play.”

\---

“You are cheating!” Magnus shouted across the table, pointing a threatening finger in Alec’s direction who just laughed loudly, shrugging it off. “I am not. I’m just very good at this.” Alec answered, a clear mock in his voice, licking his lips and pocketing another ball perfectly, without any effort.

“I don’t believe a word you say Alec.” Magnus frowned and Alec just laughed even louder, his shoulders shaking.

They had been playing for 2 hours now; Alec had explained everything patiently after Magnus finally admitted he didn’t know what the hell that all was and Magnus quickly got the hang of it, he was smart okay. And he was a fast learner. But whatever he tried he just didn’t seem to win against Alec. He didn’t mind it at first, but the more he lost to him the more annoyed he got.

They were on their 5th drink already, or maybe their 15th, who counted them really. They were both rather tipsy at this point, both already having forgotten about the others. The bar was still packed and loud chatter reached his ears from every side of the place, making it somewhat hard to concentrate at all.

He wasn’t very competitive; he was very humble and could lose with grace. At least that is what he told himself; he was as competitive as it could get and hated loosing. Also, to yet another shadowhunter. If it was fighting, playing he seemed to lose in everything to them. Next time he would pick something he excelled in, that will show them. Though he still had to think of something he excelled in. Well, he could waggle his ears just perfectly when he wanted to; that would shut them up for good. He nodded at his own plan.

“Here, lemme help you.” Alec offered, putting his cue aside and went to stand behind Magnus. He placed his hands on each of the warlocks and hovered his face over his left shoulder right next to his face. His body pressed tight against Magnus’.

Magnus widened his eyes as he felt Alec’s firm body press against him; locking him between his body and the pool table and leaning slightly forward; his arms around him and his face beside him. He hadn’t even seen or heard him coming as he had zoned out for a second. He had never felt a man’s body this close to his own before; he could feel every muscle against his back, a strong pressure from behind; this was just a little too close for comfort; he was sure the shadowhunter would melt into him any second if he kept on pressing. His heartbeat increased and he felt goosebumps rush over his body as the other one breathed against his ear; he tried his best to keep his eyes forward as the shadowhunter guided his hands. They felt rather rough but the grip wasn’t tight, he held them gently.

It had been a while since he had felt the warmth of another body this close to him, a long while and his body reacted to it if he wanted it or not. It wasn’t like he enjoyed this, but…well actually he did. It was nice. Different but nice. He somehow felt save and protected in his arms, like everything was going to be all right, whatever it was. Nothing could harm him mentally or physically. He had never felt that way before and didn’t know he had been craving the feeling until now.

He watched the balls being swallowed effortlessly. “Try it.” Alec breathed and let go of Magnus finally, who gasped, relieved to be free to move again, but also feeling colder and lonelier instantly. He swallowed down the lump that had formed in his throat and tried to concentrate.

He did as he was told and pocketed one ball after the other. “Well, you could have had the decency to show me this an hour ago.” Magnus growled and watched Alec take another sip with that lopsided smirk on his face. “Well, where’s the fun in that?” the other one slurred.

“You are an idiot.” Magnus put the cue down, rolling his eyes and went to leave when Alec grabbed his arm roughly to make him stop. Magnus looked at the hand on his lower arm and then up at Alec’s eyes. “I am sorry.” Alec slurred even more and softened his grip on him. “I didn’t mean to…”

“It’s okay Alec. I was not being serious.” Magnus smiled affectionately. “When are the others coming? I totally forgot.” Magnus changed the topic. Alec let go of his arm and tried to concentrate his foggy mind. “Which others?”

“The others, Clary, Jace, Izzy, Simon…weren’t we supposed to meet here?” Magnus asked a bit confused.

“Oh that…I lied.” Alec grinned shamelessly and steadied himself on the pool table with both hands; arms stretched out, leaning forward lightly.

“You what? You lied?” Magnus asked not unkindly, but not understanding anything right now. Nothing new so far.

“Wanted to be alone with you.” Alec replied without thinking and Magnus narrowed his eyes for a moment to look aside and back to Alec. “Why?” he asked a bit irritated but got no answer as the other lost his grip and stumbled to his knees, banging his head against the pool table with a loud thud, before falling back on the ground.

“Alec!” Magnus rushed to his side and grabbed the shadowhunter to pull him up and into his arms quickly. He held his face in his hand and gulped at the sight of bright red blood running down the right side of Alec’s face. “Help!” He yelled while Alec opened his eyes again. “Sorry…am… drunk…I think. ’s fine.” The man stuttered and tried to get up. “You don’t say.” Magnus scolded him and pulled him back down. “Someone help us please!” Magnus shouted again, the music was just too loud, maybe nobody heard him; he held Alec tight against his chest, the upper body leaning against his bent knee behind his back to steady him.

Magnus was trembling from shock, he hoped Alec was okay; he hadn’t seen that coming at all, maybe he should have paid more attention he was clearly completely wasted. Well apparently, drinking was something Magnus excelled in, he didn’t get drunk as quick as others, the real perks of being a warlock. He shoved the thoughts aside as Maia rushed by and knelt down beside them.

“What happened?” she asked putting the dish towel she still had against Alec’s face to stop the bleeding. “He drank a little too much and stumbled. I don’t know it happened really fast.” Magnus tried to make something out of the mess in his mind.

“Well, that’s a first. He doesn’t usually drink that much; what did you do to him” She patted the cloth against Alec’s forehead while speaking with an amused tone in her voice. She clearly thought this wasn’t very serious and she was probably right. “am all right…” Alec whispered; his eyes closed again. “Sure.” Maia answered rolling her big brown-greenish eyes. “You should let him bleed for a moment longer before you heal him, he won’t learn it any other way.” She smiled and got up from her knees. She grabbed Magnus shoulder for a second and massaged it to calm him before leaving.

Heal him?...but he couldn’t. And how did she know he was a warlock at all? Magnus watched Maia walk away, he wanted to call her back, but didn’t dare to say the words out loud. He didn’t want to come across weak now that she thought he was so powerful. He turned his attention back to the man in his arm. “It’s okay Alec, I got you.” Magnus whispered before spreading his fingers above Alec’s forehead and concentrating on his magic.

Blue sparks erupted from his fingertips and hovered over the wound. He bit down on his lip and clenched his eyes shut. “Please…please…just work…please” He whispered to himself and opened his eyes again to see the wound closing slowly but steadily. He gasped loudly as he felt the magic working, tingling in his fingers and healing the shadowhunter. He actually managed to heal him. He was speechless for a moment and wondered how that was possible, he had tried it so often in the past. Why was this situation any different?

“Alexander?” he asked quietly to see if the shadowhunter was all right. A soft snore came from the shadowunter’s lips and Magnus rolled his eyes. Great.

Magnus fished after his phone as good as possible without dropping the sleeping man in his arms and got it out finally. He opened the internet and was instantly flooded by ads and moving graphics overwhelming his senses for a moment. He just wanted to call a cab like Simon had done the other day when they went shopping, but he didn’t know how to find the right number or how to search for it. He sighed putting the phone back into his pocket and seemed to think for a while, listening to Alec snore in his arms. He really needed to learn how to handle that damn phone soon. The little lecture he got on it from Catarina seemingly wasn’t enough.

The shadowhunter nestled his head in Magnus chest and a little smile appeared on his face. “Magnus…” he whispered. Magnus watched him quietly for a moment and contemplated about his options. “Well, shadowhunter. I hope you are not as heavy as you look.” Magnus said to himself, resigning and then got up, taking Alec into his arms bridal style. Okay, he was even heavier than he looked, but Magnus was rather strong and also had a little magic helping him, which of course he would never admit. The limps of the tall man were hanging down in every direction. Magnus pushed him up some more to have a better grip and held him safely against his chest. He left the bar to a laughing Maia, shaking her head and waving at him. “Be save boys” she yelled after him.

The way back was long, longer than before, at least it felt that way to him. And Alec got heavier with every step he took. Or he weaker. He had to concentrate really hard to not let Alec drop, he was a little tipsy himself after all. Alec slept all the way through, lucky bastard.

Magnus let him drop down on the bed with a groan, not feeling his arms anymore. He stretched them around, moaning in pain with every move as the prickled beneath his skin and arched his back which gave away sounds as if it was breaking right there. He then got rid of Alec’s shoes and made him lie more comfortable before covering his body with the duvet up to his shoulders. He brushed a few hair strands off his sweaty forehead, before leaving to take a shower.

Freshly cleaned and his mind a bit cleared he went back to stand in front of the bed. And where was he going to sleep now? Alec seemed to take up every inch of the small bed with his tall frame. Not that he had thought to get into bed with him.

He lowered himself onto the rug with a sigh and curled in on himself. He snapped his fingers; feeling an uncomfortable shiver run down his spine to the use of magic, he had already used up a lot to carry Alec all the way home, he hadn’t much left and pulling the last bit of magic out of his body always pained slightly, but he really needed a blanket right now. He covered himself with it and lay on his arm. Did he already say that this was great?

Magnus eyes blinked open the second he heard a zipper being pulled. A mumbled moan reached his ears a second later. You’ve got to be kidding. Magnus turned towards the bed on his rug and craned his neck to peek over the duvet with his eyes; wishing this wasn’t what it sounded like.

Well. Fuck.

He could clearly see the slow and unmistakable movements below the tented duvet, even in the darkness. Alec was still asleep, which didn’t seem to stop him from jerking off apparently. Well, he was drunk after all…and it wasn’t like Magnus had never done such a thing. He just had the decency to do it alone.

He couldn’t peel his eyes off, it was like an accident; he didn’t want to look but couldn’t look away either. He had never seen another man masturbate. He flushed deeply and wished he could just disappear. He contemplated his choices once more this night. Wake him up to make him stop? Well, that would not be awkward at all. ‘Hey Alec, would you be so kind to take your hand off your dick? Thanks so much. Good Night!’…Let him continue and listen involuntarily? Just as awkward. Pull his hand away and hope he wouldn’t awake? Ehm…no? Another moan, deep and husky broke his line of thoughts. He could see the movements speed up and realised he was still watching, only a few inches away from his groin. Alec’s chest lifted and lowered itself fast as he started breathing heavily, his mouth going slack.

Magnus gulped, feeling like some creepy voyeur. He narrowed his eyes to slits and duck his head even more; hiding as good as possible even though it was obviously dark and Alec was asleep. He shouldn’t be watching, this wasn’t right. Why was he watching…

Magnus jolted straight up the moment another louder moan echoed through the bedroom and he ran to the bathroom; closing the door behind himself and pressing against it with his back. He was completely out of breath and stared into the void with wide eyes. Why did this need to happen to him? Why was he so flustered by it? It was only some guy having fun, he could have ignored it and go back to sleep. He tried to catch his breath and calm himself. His eyes closed and head lowered he took one deep breath after the other, trying not to hear the other one moan on the other side of the room, which didn’t work all too well.

To say he was shocked the moment he opened his eyes, was an understatement; as a proud erection sported his tight boxers. He hadn’t even noticed in his panic. He felt a shiver run down his spine as he heard another loud groan from the other room; his cock twitching to the sound violently. What the fuck? He darted forward and rushed into the shower, his boxers still on he turned on the water quickly, cold, as cold as ice please and shrieked embarrassingly high when the cold water hit his hot and flushed skin.

He clenched his hands into the shower armature roughly and held on for dear life. At least it did the trick; he could watch his drenched boxers go back to its normal state instantly and sighed in relief. He didn’t feel anything anymore, his groin region was completely numb. “Sorry, this was necessary.” he mumbled a little regretfully, knowing he probably killed his cock just now.

He stopped the waterflow and got off the shower, his whole body trembling from the cold. He stuttered forward and reached for a towel to dry himself. He dried his boxers magically and opened the bathroom door slowly to peek outside. There was no noise, no movement, just darkness.

A relived sigh escaped his lips.

He tip toed back to his rug and gave the shadowhunter another look; he had a content smile on his lips and looked more than peaceful. Well, that answered his question if Alec had finished it or just stopped. Magnus shook his head, wondering why he was questioning himself about this at all and lowered himself to the rug and into sleeping position and nestled his head onto his arms again.

He wondered about the fact he had reacted so strong to the noises Alec had made. He felt betrayed by his own body. He had never reacted in that kind of way to any man ever. Of course, he had seen pretty men before, also naked from afar and also thought some of them were quite sexy, it didn’t matter much to him what gender they were, if they were beautiful, they were beautiful, that’s it. But he had never felt actual arousal around any of them before. It was the second time that day Alec had made him feel something new and almost disturbing. His thoughts trailed off as his body realised it desperately needed sleep and it only took a few seconds for him to drift off.

\---

A knee weakening headache awoke Alec from his deep slumber. The pain throbbed against his forehead with such force that he gasped loudly and held onto it with his hand. Before even opening his eyes, he reached for his stele in his jeans and drew an Iratze on himself to make the pain go away; this was rather instinctively. As the pain finally began leaving his body, he opened his eyes to see his own room. The sun was shining down on him mercilessly and he rolled over with a groan to face the door side and get away from the light.

He fell back into sleep for another few minutes before he opened his eyes again. How did he even get here? He tried to fish in his memories for anything that had happened the past night; the last thing he remembered was playing pool with Magnus. Magnus…where was he?

He rolled back onto his back and looked around himself and saw that he was alone. He ran his hands down his face before he placed them on his chest. Feeling the fabric, he frowned and patted them down his own body. He was still completely dressed. His eyes shot open when he reached his crotch, his hand wasn’t on his jeans as expected but on his underwear, that also felt suspiciously hard to the touch like something had dried on them. He pushed the duvet away and looked down on himself to see his pants unzipped, hanging low on his waist.

He lifted his fingers to his nose, smelling the sharp scent of cum on them. “Shit.” He mumbled and swung himself off the bed quickly, holding his pants in place with one hand to go for the bathroom. He got rid of his clothes quickly and put his underwear in the sink, letting it soak with warm water and soap, while he got under the shower to clean himself, soul and body. The thought of not really knowing what had happened yesterday freaked him out; and now this, he had obviously gotten off yesterday and couldn’t tell if with Magnus or without and when exactly. Well at least the other one wasn’t here, so maybe he was just so drunk he had some fun time alone.

He threw the soaked underwear into the basket once he got off the shower, as well as the rest of his clothes, brushed his teeth and left the bathroom, completely in thoughts. This was not good. Whatever had happened it was not good. Why did he let this go so far, why did he drink so much?

He stopped in his tracks the moment he stood in his room, stark naked, to see Magnus sleeping on the rug beside his bed, in nothing but his underwear.

Alec shot to the left so quick he banged his little toe against the closet and howled loudly; reaching for his foot and stumbling forward on one leg, only to fall to the ground a moment later and landing behind the bed on the other side with a loud thud. He kept quiet, palms flat against the floor as he waited for Magnus to wake up from the loud noises, but he didn’t. He sighed, hating on his clumsy self for a moment before lifting slowly to crouch behind the bed, his eyes glued on the direction Magnus was.

He crawled to the closet, reaching for some underwear, pants and shirt from the other one. It was a long, light brown turtle neck pullover and a pair of normal jeans. He got dressed quickly and rather inelegant on the floor, before lifting himself and leaving the room quietly, doing the walk of shame. He desperately hoped this had nothing to do with Magnus and he didn’t see any of it. But what if it did, he must have brought him home after all, what if something had happened between them? He really didn’t want to think about it and went for Jace’s room to get dressed in his own clothes he had placed there. At least this time he didn’t run into Izzy again; he sighed quickened his pace, still trying to come up with what had happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that was a lot eh? They surely enjoyed their little time together hm, although it came to an abrupt stop, poor Alec. But Magnus is being the hero he is meant to be 😁 And Alec...tze tze tze, shameless 😏 Do we see feelings stiring in Magnus? Hmmmmm 😎 I hope you enjoyed the chapter! Thanks for all the kudos and comments on the previous one!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Suddenly the events of that night crept back into Magnus mind, the images of Alec’s hand moving below the covers, the low moans that had left his lips. “Is everything okay?” Alec asked right away, a frown on his face. Magnus snapped out of it. “Yes, sure why?”
> 
> Alec pointed at his face. “You are blushing. Heavily.” Alec stared at the tomato in front of him, wondering if he had ever seen Magnus blush at all. Usually it was him that was blushing. Magnus must have lost the ‘ability’ to blush somewhere along the hundreds of years. It was a sight he wasn’t prepared for and it warmed his heart. He never wanted to forget that sight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://ibb.co/nCMTk5T)

A few days had passed since the “bar & bed incident”. Magnus and Alec had avoided eachother completely and successfully. Alec got himself more work than needed and Magnus kept to himself or spent time with Clary, Simon and Izzy. Really, they were such nice people, they made him feel like he wasn’t out of place but rather one of them, he never knew that kind of feeling; of people being there for him and wanting him around. He enjoyed their company so much that he often forgot that this wasn’t his world, which he was grateful for. Since nothing had changed in that department; Catarina kept calling him, but never with anything good from her side. Magnus hasn’t told her about the Ragnor matter yet, he would do so once they would meet in person again. He was still pretty frustrated with how she had handled the matter.

Jace was keeping his distance as well, or maybe Magnus was. He didn’t know if he liked the blond guy too much. He seemed a bit full of himself and the incident at the training room still bothered him a lot. He had to get better with his magic quick. He had become a resident at the Institute by now, nobody seemed to mind his presence anymore, at least they didn’t stare at him anymore like they had done the first days, they seemed to accept him now, or rather tolerate.

He actually wanted to talk to Alec, not about anything in particular, just talk to him. They had spent quite some time together by now and his presence kind of felt familiar and good, but he really didn’t know how to approach him. Magnus knew why he had avoided the shadowhunter the past two days, he needed to process what had happened first, before looking him in the eyes again, but he really didn’t know why Alec was avoiding him too.

Magnus was in the garden, one of his favourite places since it wasn’t as crowded as the Institute halls. Dressed in a thin striped pullover and bright blue ripped jeans; really what was it with those ripped pants Izzy had picked for him. If he wanted some ripped pants; he could take some old one and just cut it, why buy something that is clearly ruined? ‘It’s fashion Magnus!’ she had answered him, so apparently, he just didn’t get it. His hair was hanging low and there was no jewellery on his body.

He listened to music on his phone, completely lost in his own world. He let his body sway around and give in into one of his biggest passions, which was dancing, he had spent quite some time dancing in his long life; he had killed his time with it back when he was living on the streets back in Indonesia, when he was young. And he had quite some time to kill back then. He even occasionally grouped with other ‘teens’ to dance with them; at a later age he also took classic dancing lessons, realising that he loved all kind of dancing. He enjoyed impressing the ladies with his skills and was maybe showing off a little too much at one occasion or two in his past.

Which was also how he had attracted the young Charlotte’s attention. They met at one of the many balls in London held for the royal family which he had loved to attend during his first time in England, where he also met his now best friend Ragnor Fell, who owned a huge mansion in the countryside. He was the one encouraging Magnus to follow his passion and take those dancing lessons and also made him familiar with the royal family and the feasts and events they held. Ragnor managed to make him forget where he came from for some time and what had happened in the past; he made him look forward always and appreciate the good and little things in life.

He gave in to the beat of the music and let go, mind taken off of everything else. He turned on his heels; his arm raised and head swung back when he froze to see Underhill standing behind him, leaning against the Institute walls with a kind smile on his face. He slowly lifted his hands to clap and walked forward. Magnus lowered his arm and pulled out his earphones quickly, pushing the whole device into his pants pocket on his backside. The earphones still halfway dangling out.

“Oh, Hey I didn’t know I had audience.” Magnus said smiling while catching his breath.

“I didn’t mean to make you stop, that was amazing.” Andrew answered smiling even wider once he reached him. Magnus nodded a few times politely, still trying to get his breathing back to normal.

“Did you take lessons?” he asked. “I could need some. I am as stiff as a rod when it comes to dancing.” Andrew laughed and Magnus just laughed along.

“It’s pretty easy actually, you just move to the music, let your body take over.” Magnus clearly sparkled talking about dancing. “See.” He grabbed Andrew’s arm and pulled him closer; keeping a good distance still and placed his hands on Underhill’s waist to move him from side to side. The other one obeyed stiffly and kept laughing loudly while placing his hands on the smaller man’s shoulders to steady himself.

Magnus had already forgotten about the awkward incidents he had had with Underhill; it was all in the past and the shadowhunter wasn’t that bad actually. Even though he was a little too nice he always kept his distance when Magnus didn’t say otherwise like now. He loved how the shadowhunters had changed around him, they were clearly more relaxed than the first few days.

“Yeah, I can dance!” Andrew shouted proudly, joking of course and Magnus threw his head back with a loud and heart-warming laugh. Andrew looked so awkward dancing; he just couldn’t help it.

He was pulled out of his laughter abruptly when his hands grabbed nothing but thin air; he lifted his head and opened his eyes to see a dark, broad back in front of him; he had to gather himself to understand what was going on. He quickly realised it was Alec’s back, he was holding Andrew by the lapels of his jacket and walked him backwards forcefully while the other one nearly stumbled over his own feet.

“Back off!” Alec’s deep voice thundered across the garden as he released him from his grip. Magnus inhaled sharply as he heard him shout; a mixture of fear and thrill running through his veins. Andrew, panting heavily, brushed his hand down his jacket to smoothen it. He was visibly shocked, his mouth wide open. “Alec, it wasn’t what it looked like okay. We were just,” he began explaining but Alec darted forward again and pushed him against the chest heavily, the other one landed in the grass with a loud groan. “I said back off!” Alec repeated, pointing a threatening finger down at him, anger displayed across his face.

Underhill, completely shocked, lifted himself from the ground and finally backed off, leaving them with a shake of his head. He would try and explain it later, not when Alec was this heated, there was no use. Magnus couldn’t understand what he was seeing really; why was he behaving like this? What did Andrew do?! He didn’t do anything at all.

Alec turned around slowly, his face red and his mouth open, panting. He didn’t look angry now, but rather startled as if he didn’t know what had happened himself, not believing what he had done and how to explain it.

“Alec…what?” Magnus started and looked Alec in the eyes, wandering from one to the other and back again like he was searching for something. Maybe a braincell? Yes, he had wanted to see Alec again, but not like this.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do that. I just snapped.” Alec explained dryly, but it didn’t explain anything at all.

“You snapped? You threw the man to the ground.” Magnus looked at the flat grass behind Alec.

Alec lifted his hands to his waist and looked around himself helplessly and then back at Magnus. “I thought he was hurting you.” Alec lied, he really just saw Underhill coming closer and them touching each other from inside the Institute and had snapped; it was his fiancé after all he couldn’t just forget that and he didn’t want anybody touching what was his. He couldn’t say that to Magnus though, neither that he had been watching him from the window like he usually did, so he said the next best thing.

“He wasn’t. I am fine. We were dancing.” Magnus voice was calm and kind, as he now understood what had happened and wanted to soothe the shadowhunter after his ‘heroic’ act. It was quite unnecessary and a bit over the top, but it was sweet somehow.

“Alec, I am a very powerful warlock, I can take care of myself. I didn’t live for 1000 years without learning a thing or two about self-defence.”

Alec snorted a laugh at that, instantly catching the lie about his age.

“Hey. I am!” Magnus barked, seeing the shadowhunter laugh at him. How dare him. Magnus face twisted in anger and frustration and ended up with a pout.

“Yes, you are. I know that.” Alec collected himself, he didn’t want the other to think he was laughing about him. “I am sorry, I overstepped.” Alec put his arms behind his back; trying to fight against the urge to cuddle the warlock to the ground; he was just so cute when he was angry, which made you want to pinch his cheeks. At least to Alec that is, others would maybe fear him, but Alec knew Magnus would never do anything to hurt him.

A silence settled between them as the matter was finished; Magnus then took the time to have a look at Alec, he was in his usual shadowhunter attire, dressed to kill. His hair was mussed up, he wondered if Alec ever took the time to comb his hair, he actually never saw him shower either or go to the toilet or any other normal duties. Alec looked like he was thinking really hard, nibbling on his lower plump lip. He had really pretty lips, they were slightly too big and wide for his face but that just added to the beauty of it. He didn’t realise that he was staring at him, when Alec finally spoke again; he fixed his eyes back on the Shadowhunters hazel ones.

“Magnus, about the other day. I-I wanted to thank you for bringing me home. I shouldn’t have drunk so much, I usually don’t do that, I just had a lot on my mind lately.” Magnus followed his words, blinking at him softly.

“You don’t have to thank me for that Alec. I wouldn’t have left you there.”

“How did you do it? Did you learn how to do portals?” Alec questioned curiously and Magnus shrugged. “No, I carried you.”

“YOU carried ME?” His hairline swallowed his eyebrows as he pointed at himself. “All the way?”

“No, only half way, then I had some stranger take over for me.” Magnus mocked and furrowed his brow. “Of course, all the way Alec.”

Alec chuckled. “Well, thank you. Again.” Magnus offered him another warm smile. “You are very welcome shadowhunter.”

Alec began nibbling his lower lip once more, his eyes seemed restless. He really wanted to ask Magnus about what had happened in bed that night, if anything had happened…but he didn’t know how to approach the topic without making it awkward. Also, Magnus seemed completely relaxed abut the topic, he wouldn’t be if something had happened right?

Suddenly the events of that night crept back into Magnus mind, the images of Alec’s hand moving below the covers, the low moans that had left his lips. “Is everything okay?” Alec asked right away, a frown on his face. Magnus snapped out of it. “Yes, sure why?”

Alec pointed at his face. “You are blushing. Heavily.” Alec stared at the tomato in front of him, wondering if he had ever seen Magnus blush at all. Usually it was him that was blushing. Magnus must have lost the ‘ability’ to blush somewhere along the hundreds of years. It was a sight he wasn’t prepared for and it warmed his heart. He never wanted to forget that sight.

Magnus tried to think of something else, just anything but the images wouldn’t leave his mind. He quickly placed his hands on his cheeks to cool them to at least get rid of that awkward blush, but they warmed him even more. He groaned and rolled his eyes, putting his hands down again when he felt another pair of hands on his cheeks, cold and comforting. Alec smiled gently down at him while the backside of his fingers rested against the warlocks cheeks.

Oh great, yes touch me with those filthy hands, that definitely makes it better and forget what you have done. He narrowed his eyes and looked at the hand against his face and couldn’t stop his mind from wandering into the gutter. But the hands did the trick, they cooled him down at least, he looked back at Alec’s eyes, noticing that he stood a bit closer than before. “Thanks.” Magnus muffled, slightly squished between the big hands on his cheeks.

He noticed that Alec’s look changed; it got softer within seconds, warm and loving. Like he was seeing something special to him. Magnus felt something creep up his body, a slight feeling of discomfort. At least he thought it was that. His heartbeat increased and he felt dizzy. He watched the shadowhunter lean in slowly. Magnus eyes dropped down to his lips and back up to his eyes. Was that guy about to kiss him? No. How ridiculous. Why should he. He felt Alec’s warm breath dance against his skin. He wanted to back off but felt his body drawn towards Alec, he lifted his chin instinctively so Alec could reach him. A loud voice snapped them both out of it and they turned their heads to the source where Jace stood.

Jace looked at Alec with a mixture of anger and confusion? And then nodded towards the Institute to tell them to follow before he left again. Alec took his hands away from Magnus abruptly and fidgeted awkwardly, before leaving to follow Jace inside, without saying another word. Magnus followed him a second after; wondering about that weird moment a minute ago. Even more wondering about his own behaviour, it was like his body had taken over his mind for a second. He wondered what would have happened if hadn’t been interrupted. Would they have kissed? Well, he had surely misinterpreted the situation; Alec maybe just wanted to tell him something only meant for his ears.

\---

“There was an attack on shadowhunters downtown,” A shadowhunter he remembered from the day he brought him the document of the meeting said, when Magnus entered the ops center. A group of shadowhunters had gathered and they got more by the second. They seemed really collected to Magnus surprise. If someone would tell him there was an attack on warlocks he would probably freak. “We also found a dead warlock at the scene.” Magnus gaped and went pale instantly.

“We do not know how the warlock was involved in this at this point. If she was the one attacking or helping them.” The brown-haired guy; looking very eastern-asian said dryly while shooting Magnus a quick look. What was his name, Ray or something. Alec stood beside him and placed his hand down on the bright blue computer station in front of him to unlock it, he swiped through the information given quickly, taking everything in, while the other one continued. Alec’s soft look he had had on his face mere minutes ago was replaced by determination as he went back into his Head of the Institute stance.

“The injured shadowhunters are in the Infirmary, they should be able to answer questions in a few hours.” Alec nodded at Raj’s words and looked over the crowd, his voice firm and low as he began his speech.

“I want everyone to stay calm. We don’t know what happened yet, but we will do so shortly. We will have a look at the scene to find more information, in the meantime I want everybody to stay inside the Institute until I say otherwise.” He leaned on the table, eyeing everyone of them intimidatingly. He didn’t want shadowhunters wandering about with an unknown threat outside. “You are dismissed.” He ended his speech and they nodded retreating with mumbled chatter. It was clear this was no new situation to them, this happened on a daily basis, well nearly. But Magnus had never watched them “at work” before and found it utterly thrilling.

Jace came to stand by Alec and crossed his arms above his chest. “I’ll go get Izzy and Clary?” He asked and Alec nodded without looking at him, his mind still on the information he had just gotten, which wasn’t much yet. He tried not to jump to any conclusions. He was forming a plan in his head already. Jace left him and walked past Magnus, lifting his hand and pointing at him. “You are coming too.”

Magnus looked around himself to see who he was talking to, until he saw he was alone. “Me?”

“Jace. No.” Alec protested instantly but Jace gave him a look. “We need a warlock to determine what happened. He can help us with his magic.” That sounded plausible and Alec knew that. But he really didn’t like the thought of Magnus being in any kind of danger. Not ever, in whatever form Magnus was. And he knew Magnus wasn’t the powerful warlock he pretended to be yet which made him even more protective. Jace left to get the others while Alec walked to Magnus. “You don’t have to do this.” Alec informed him. “We can find another warlock to help us.”

Magnus quirked an eyebrow. “What do you mean by that shadowhunter? I am very capable of helping. I am coming with you.” He said a bit offended and left Alec speechless to go for his room to change. Alec rolled his eyes, but not without a light chuckle, his fiancé was so easily offended in his pride, even back then. But he didn’t like the thought of him coming along one bit. He knew he wouldn’t be able to take his eyes off of him to not have him hurt and he really had to concentrate on his job. But he knew, once Magnus had set his mind, there was no turning back.

\---

Magnus dressed himself in dark jeans, a belt with a barely visible cat buckle, a blue tight shirt and a leather jacket. Black boots, a necklace and his ring completed the look. He magicked his hair up into a mohawk as Clary had done the other day, it made him look more dangerous, he liked to dress for the occasion. He looked at himself in the mirror and nodded, before pushing his phone down his pants pocket and leaving to get to the others; they had already gathered in the ops center and Clary drew a rune on herself, a portal opened up in front of her.

You’ve got to be kidding…

Magnus stared at it in horror before his look turned to Clary. How did she…why…Just…he sighed in frustration, knowing the shadowhunter girl was capable of doing portals. Apparently, everyone was capable of doing portals nowadays. Everyone except him. Magnus felt offended and annoyed and followed the group through the portal blindly. He really needed to practise on his magic soon!

A swirl of magic sucked him into a void, before spitting him out again; he felt his stomach turn and something creep up his throat. He turned towards the wall next to him and placed his hands against it, leaning down and catching his breath, very sure he was about to puke any second. He swallowed the bile down. “You okay?” Alec placed his hand on Magnus shoulder comfortingly. Damn, they noticed. “Yes, I am fine…” Magnus insisted and straightened himself to show he was all right. He had just told Alec how powerful he was and now he looked like an idiot, feeling nauseous from portaling. Great.

They stood in a narrow dark alley; everyone having some kind of weapon in their hands. Daggers, a whip, a blade and he then noticed Alec holding a huge metal bow in his hands. It was covered in runes and looked pretty badass. They seemed guarded and concentrated, looking around themselves, their bodies tense. Alec now turned from Magnus and followed his teammates; but he kept close to the warlock.

Magnus snapped his fingers to make his magic appear on his fingertips, blue sparks flowing through his fingers like snakes. He didn’t want to be the only one without a weapon. He looked around, just like the others were doing, imitating every move. He didn’t exactly know what they were looking for but he just went along. He had to show he was good in this; it was his chance to prove that he actually was powerful and useful.

The alley was dirty and full of trash. The walls were smudged, suspiciously looking puddles completed the horrible look of this place.

“There is blood.” Izzy said dryly and pointed towards a corner next to a dumpster. Jace knelt down and seemed to analyse it. “Warlock blood.” He said and got up again. That was his cue, Magnus went to Jace and knelt down; letting his magic flow over the blood. It was a lot. He had to swallow again and fought against the nausea hitting him once more.

His eyes went white and a few blurry images appeared in his head, a female warlock running, sparks, shadowhunters, a fight, pointy eared figures and then it was gone. His eyes turned back to normal and he took a long breath. Alec was standing right behind him, nearly pressing his legs into his back from how close he was.

“What did you see?” Clary asked, kneeling next to Magnus. He had to collect himself and his thoughts first. “A lot…I saw the wounded shadowhunters and the warlock,” he swallowed. “Also, seelies.”

“Seelies? Are you sure?” Jace asked.

“Yes, I am.” Magnus said a bit annoyed. He can tell the difference between a mundane and a seelie okay.

“Well, then we at least have a track.” Clary cut in, just when a figure rushed past them and Izzy let out a yelp; it was too quick to act at all. Izzy held her arm fiercely and crouched down. Alec ran to her side instantly and held her with one arm; lifting her up again; his bow in his other hand. “Izzy, what happened?!”

“I don’t know. Something cut me.” She hissed and took a look at her arm, the blood streaming down her uncovered skin. It looked like a long dagger had cut across it.

There it was again; everyone followed the quick rush of blur that flew through the alley. Neither of them could actually see anything. Once the blur came back for them; Magnus stepped forward, swirled his arms around in an elegant manner and shot his magic right into the blurry figure. The seelie was frozen in place and looked like it was in pain. It’s body tense and his head tilted back. It was a man with long bright brown braided hair; completely armoured. He looked young, but also very dangerous.

Magnus held him in place with his magic, with more effort than he would admit; it took him a lot of strength to not release the seelie who was struggling against his magic strongly.

“Hold him!” Jace commanded and came closer.

The seelie moved an inch; getting out of Magnus magic grip and Magnus reacted instantly; pushing more force into his hands and slammed the seelie down to the ground with his magic. The seelie groaned loudly as he was pressed against the wet ground. Alec rushed to Magnus side and directed his drawn arrow right at the seelie’s head.

Jace then pushed himself down on the seelie and grabbed his arms to cross them behind his back; placing his seraph blade against the seelies throat at the same time. “You’re coming with us.” The seelie only hissed but kept quiet. They gathered him up, when Magnus sucked his magic back into his body. Feeling utterly drained.

Clary opened up her portal and they went through immediately, to find themselves back in the Institute, in the cellars; where Jace locked the seelie up. He let it happen without a word or move. He looked quite smug, like he didn’t care at all. He clearly knew more than them. Izzy began healing herself and Alec stood by her side to make sure she was okay. “What are we going to do with him?” Clary asked, the seelie wasn’t able to hear them from inside the cell. Jace shrugged.

“First, we will give him some time to rot in his cell. Then I will beat the smile out of his face.”

“Jace.” Alec scolded from aside.

“What? He hurt Izzy and also other shadowhunters and besides that killed the warlock.” Jace explained with anger in his voice.

“That is not the way we handle things and you know that. We will question him about the events soon. We have to make sure our men are fine first.” Jace huffed completely annoyed. “Why do you always have to be so correct! She is our sister; this could have ended way worse!” Alec shot him a look. “I am, because I have to be.” Alec stated.

“I am okay Jace, it was just a cut.” She rolled her eyes at her brother’s behaviour, she wasn’t a little girl, she could handle Jace with her left pinky if she wanted to.

Magnus still tried to collect himself, he felt weak on his knees. He used their current distraction and turned to leave them quietly before they would notice, he wasn’t needed here anymore after all and he didn’t want them to notice his current state; he closed the door behind himself, not seeing the pair of hazel eyes that followed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot happening once more. Urgh Underhill! Get lost 🙄 But we love some protective Alec don't we? Magnus proved how powerful he is, finally! Though it left him clearly drained, luckily he got away like that, or did he? I have the strong feeling someone is following him 🤔 And was that an almost kiss? Was it? Was it??? Hmmm 😏 Thanks for all the kudos on the last chapter and those lovely comments! I appreciate them so much! I hope you enjoyed this! 🤗😘


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You are hairy.” Magnus answered, staring at his well toned pecs.
> 
> “What?” Alec returned; a look of pure confusion plastered on his face. That was not the answer he had expected.
> 
> “Chest. Hair.” Magnus cringed at his own awkwardness and felt his face heat up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://ibb.co/D9c4P9F)
> 
> I listened to "Someone You Loved" by Lewis Capaldi while writing the first part of the chapter. In case you want to get into the mood.

Magnus pulled his arms out of his jacket, throwing it over the armchair as soon as he entered his room. He tugged his feet out of his too tight boots; it honestly took him more strength than he would admit to move at all and so it took quite some time. He slumped down on his bed and stretched all fours. He wasn’t used to using his magic for things like that, attacking. He usually did simple things, like making himself a coffee. Conjuring up a book. Sure, he used it to make potions as well, he could do that and he was rather good at it by now. After all he spent most his time back home helping random clients of all kind with potions. Love potions, fearless potions, potions to get invisible for matters they wouldn’t tell Magnus; Magnus wasn’t one to ask many questions when it came down to that.

It was what he was supposed to do, it felt like he was born exactly for this, helping others with his magic and he was grateful for every one of his clients, no matter what absurd things they desired, they trusted in him and his magic; well maybe because he pretended to be much older and wiser than he was. But this, using his magic to actually fight was unfamiliar to him. Of course, he did fight before…

The memory quickly came up, he was back with his father fighting innocent mundanes. “They are not worth your mercy Magnus. Show them what happens when they mock a warlock.” Asmodeus slick voice ran down his spine followed by goosebumps; even now all these years later remembering the moment. The time living with his father, even if it was short for warlock years, was not something he liked thinking about. He had used him and his skills for his own evil plans. Took advantage of him with his unnerving manipulative ways. He wasn’t able to resist him back then; he was the only family he had and had trusted more than what was good; he had always felt that low and deep spark of emotion telling him this wasn’t right but hadn’t had the guts to actually follow his own advice. He had never meant to hurt anyone.

A gentle knock on the door pulled him back into the here and now and he rose his head to look at the door. “Magnus?” He heard Alec’s deep and soft voice and quickly sat up straight. He didn’t want the shadowhunter to see him like this. He didn’t want to show how weak he was from only performing one spell, they thought he was a powerful warlock and he wanted to keep it that way. “Come in.” He answered, a mask of carelessness on his former tired face.

Alec came in slowly, closing the door behind himself. He came closer even slower, like he was about to face a dangerous animal he didn’t want to startle. He stopped right in front of him and knelt down on one knee, his eyes now on the same level as Magnus’. Magnus face twitched to the gesture, showing his confusion for a moment before he collected himself.

“Are you okay?” He asked softly but sure, like he already knew the answer.

Magnus didn’t know what to make of this. He clearly knew Magnus wasn’t okay but how did he know? He knew him for what…2 weeks now? Was he some kind of mind reader? And why was he so concerned with him anyways. He was a warlock after all. And a stranger. He wanted to snap at him, tell him he was fine and to back off; he didn’t like someone sneaking above his guarding walls and peeking inside. But the gentle look on his face wouldn’t let him. Alec looked right into his soul, like he knew everything about him and it warmed him from the inside in a way he didn’t know before. Maybe he could let him get a glimpse through the walls for a moment.

“My magic…it was just a lot.” Magnus stuttered, sounding more vulnerable than he had aimed for and Alec nodded lightly, taking Magnus hand in his own; wrapping his fingers around the smaller hand protectively.

Magnus stared down at it, completely startled by the gesture. Somehow, he felt the deep and utterly true feeling of trust towards him, it was scary. He didn’t know how that was even possible. Magnus was not the type to trust anyone quickly. He had learned his lessons.

“Thank you for helping us today Magnus, you are indeed very powerful.” Alec smiled slightly.

Magnus returned the smile for a second, knowing Alec was mocking him, because he had barked about being oh so powerful barely an hour ago and now sat here, all drained, a pitiful little warlock. “I am not.” Magnus mumbled into his beard.

“Yes, you are,” Alec said with determination. The amusement in his voice gone. “It’s not only your magic Magnus, you have a power within you that is much stronger than any magic ever can be.” Alec’s words made a lump form in his throat. His voice was filled with so much devotion and love, it was almost too much. No one had ever said such nice and genuine words to him in his long life. Magnus lips parted and he felt tears form on the edge of his eyes. He blinked them quickly to make them disappear, which worked thankfully.

The other one was quick enough to notice anyway. His look softened even more and he squeezed his hand shortly, before leaning in. Magnus felt his strong arms envelop him into a tight embrace, like a warm blanket snuggling around his body. Alec’s chin rested on Magnus right shoulder. He was warm and smelled like sandalwood? The smell was radiating off his brown locks right next to Magnus nose. Magnus sniffed again. That was sandalwood. It actually smelled exactly like his scent when he thought about it. What an odd coincidence.

He couldn’t think much more at that moment as he felt Alec tighten the embrace even more. Magnus didn’t know whether to back off or just hold onto him for dear life. He wanted to do the second but, he was a stranger after all. Well not so strange anymore. And he smelled so good. It was not only the sandalwood he liked so much, but there was another scent he couldn’t describe lingering along. It was very masculine. Maybe sweat, his mind added matter of factly; the thought didn’t disgust him though. It would usually but not this time; it was oddly comforting.

He lowered his head slowly and let his right cheek slide down Alec’s shoulder and rest there, while lifting his arms and returning the embrace. He sighed softly and heard the other one sigh as well. He felt Alec’s heart beat against his chest, calm and steady. It seemed to match his own; they beat in sync.

It felt nice, to have someone comfort him and be there for him, in this weird new world. He had never liked being taken care of, or at least he never admitted to like it, since it was nothing he had actually experienced in the past. He was always the one taking care of others; comforting them when they needed it. His body melted into the comfort he was offered; needing it more than Magnus knew. And if it was with Alec Lightwood then so be it. For a moment Magnus wondered if this was part of Alec’s usual routine as Head of the Institute, comforting his shadowhunters and hugging them. Well, he had never seen Alec hug anyone, really. He seemed to be more of a ‘keep your distance!’ guy. Maybe he just did it because he liked him. Whatever the reason, he wouldn’t complain. This just felt right.

Alec pulled back a bit abruptly and too quick for Magnus liking; he had just gotten used to the touch and comfort and missed it the second it was gone. Alec kept kneeling and looked at him a bit guarded, fidgeting with his hands like he had done something he didn’t want to do.

“Thank you.” Magnus said almost in a whisper, assuring the shadowhunter that it was all right. A smile playing on his lips. And he meant it.

Alec opened his mouth to say something but shut it right after; his eyes sparkled and he seemed to be on the edge of tears for a moment. He got up quickly and turned to leave. Magnus followed him with his eyes a bit confused. What had just happened? Did he say something wrong?

“You should take some rest. We will call for you if we need you or find any new information about the seelie.” his voice was back to normal now, without much emotion. “Will do.” Magnus returned with the best smile he could muster in his current confusion. Alec nodded without looking at him and then left the room. Magnus tilted his head aside and wondered about Alec’s odd behaviour, before he let himself fall back onto the bed; sighing loudly as he let go off the tension in his body, he had established to mask himself in front of Alec. He closed his eyes to get some rest.

\---

Alec sat on Izzy’s bed a few later, his elbows resting on his knees and his head slumped down. He looked like a pile of pure misery. Izzy sat beside him on one of her legs, her hand on Alec’s neck and crawling below his hairline softly in a comforting gesture; while Jace sat across from them, his legs stretched out and crossed, his arms resting behind him on the back of the stool nonchalantly.

“It’s going to be okay Alec.” Izzy whispered and kept on rubbing her brother’s neck, who shook his head lightly. It was all just too much for him. His fiancé was gone and replaced by…well, himself. He couldn’t be angry at Magnus for replacing Magnus, he had so much anger inside him and nowhere to release it. Sure, he could go and punch Clary for what she did; but she didn’t deserve that; it was an accident after all.

Being so near to Magnus without actually being near mentally was killing him. He knew he should keep his distance to the warlock for the sake of it, but he couldn’t, he just couldn’t. Simple as that. And he hated that he couldn’t!

He just loved him so much, every version of him if young or old. He realised his feelings for “this” Magnus were just the same, it felt like he was still with his fiancé. In fact, his feeling just grew with every day, however that was possible. It didn’t feel like he was betraying “his” Magnus, because this was his Magnus; he could see it in his eyes, smell it in on his skin, hear it in his voice, this was the man he loved, always had and always will. If he was young or old.

Without wanting to admit it, he felt rather grateful for seeing him in his youth, for being granted this opportunity. But he didn’t know how to behave around him; how to treat him, to talk to him and to touch him. He wasn’t allowed to let this go any further, which was the thought that bothered him so much. His whole body was screaming to be near Magnus mentally and physically and he had to pull together all his strength to not do anything he would regret, anything too forward and it broke him.

Jace crossed his arms over his chest and huffed. “Look, if you need some time for yourself; take some days off, we will take over for you. Go to your loft, have some rest.”

Alec shook his head again this time more forcefully. “I can’t go back there.” He didn’t need to say more. They understood.

“We could ask Magnus to stay somewhere else, say maybe it’s not allowed to stay at the Institute any longer.” Izzy offered, though not liking the idea and pulled her hand from Alec’s neck. Well, it was a fact that downworlders weren’t allowed to stay this long at the Institute at all, but everyone knowing Magnus being Alec’s fiancé they wouldn’t raise their voices. Apart from those that knew what was going on of course. The information had already spread to secure Magnus safety in the Institute.

“No! He will stay.” Alec quickly barked back. Izzy rolled her eyes and smacked him on the thigh not too lightly. “We can’t help you if you won’t let us Alec. What is it that you want?”

“I don’t know.” His voice sounded frustrated as he hid his face in his palms, really not knowing an answer to this.

“I hugged him.” He whispered into his palms, almost not audible.

Jace and Izzy exchanged a knowing look. They didn’t know that fact, but they knew it would come one day, so they weren’t much surprised to hear it. They knew Alec wasn’t capable of staying away from Magnus.

Alec lifted his eyes, when the blow he had expected didn’t come and saw their pitiful gazes. “We won’t tell you what you can and can’t do Alec. But you know it’s for the best if you keep your distance. For Magnus.”

Jace let out a long yawn and stretched his limbs before getting up and patting Alec’s shoulders. “Come on. Let’s get some rest.” Alec nodded and followed Jace outside the room, after giving Izzy a hug. It was already past 11pm and it had been a long and eventful day.

The brothers walked down the corridors to their rooms; when Alec halted at his own door. “You want to come back to mine?” Jace offered but Alec shook his head again. “All right. Good night Alec. And hey…you can do this.” He said, cupping Alec’s face for a moment and then leaving him for his own room. They really had too much trust in him, more than he had himself.

Alec swallowed and opened the door quietly, to peek inside. It was dark and quiet. He got inside and closed it just as slow. He chucked his boots off and got rid of his jacket. Placing both on the long armchair in the corner, where Magnus clothes already rested, before leaving for the bathroom. After doing his duties he retreated to the main room, in only his underwear. He looked over to the closet, thinking about dressing himself; but really it was just so warm and it was dark…so what does it matter.

He went to his rug only to stumble across some feet and gathered himself quickly. He took a few steps back and pulled his phone out of his jacket to shed some light into the dark room; he pointed the phone light to the rug and blinked a few times at the sight before him. It was Magnus, sleeping on the ground, nearly naked and barely covered by the blue little blanket he had given Alec the other day, he held it tight to his face, his nose nestled into the fabric like he had been sniffing it.

Alec frowned and didn’t know what to make of this. Why was he sleeping on the ground? The bed looked untouched. Then it dawned on him, Magnus was keeping the bed untouched for him to sleep in. He hadn’t slept there the past days, after the little bar ‘incident’, feeling too ashamed over his own behaviour. But Magnus didn’t seem to have noticed anything of his little fun time that day, at least he didn’t talk about it or act weird. He brushed the thoughts aside.

Had Magnus been sleeping on the ground all this time, thinking Alec would maybe come and want to sleep here? The thought sent a pain through his heart instantly. Seeing Magnus crouch on that little rug was nothing he wanted to see at all.

Without thinking about it any further, he placed his phone on the table after shutting the light app and walked to Magnus, kneeling down beside him and gently wrapping his arms around the sleeping body; he felt Magnus twitch violently for a moment to the loss of the ground, opening his eyes; but Alec quickly pressed him against his chest and held him safely. “Shhhhh, it’s okay…sleep.” Alec soothed him and the warlock closed his eyes again, still deep asleep.

Alec carried him over to the bed, pressed his knee on the duvet for leverage and placed Magnus down gently; who slumped into the soft fabrics and curled in on himself instantly, before smacking his lips together in a chewing motion. Alec watched him sleep for a few minutes; stroking over his head very lightly, before lowering himself to the rug and covering himself with the still warm blanket. “Good Night Magnus.” He whispered and fell asleep in an instant.

\---

‘Dasi run run run, nan meomchul suga eopseo. Tto run run run nan eojjeol suga eopseo.’ Loud music snapped Magnus out of his sleep as he threw his arm in the direction of the sound and grabbed his phone, tapping his fingers on the screen wildly to make the alarm stop. Silence followed and he slumped back into the warm bed, nestling his limbs against the comfortable covers. Wait…

He opened his eyes instantly and sat up straight. Why was he in bed? He was pretty sure he fell asleep on the rug last night just like he has done all previous nights. He peeked over the bed, only to see the tall shadowhunter awkwardly furled on the little rug. The blue blanket lying on the floor all forgotten. He hadn’t even noticed Alec coming in last night, he must have put him into bed, there really was no other explanation. He must have touched him to do that and he was nearly naked. He didn’t know how to feel about that conclusion.

He had no more time to think about it, as his mind just caught up with the fact that the shadowhunter was nearly naked as well. He was really fit, Magnus thought. He had very defined muscles on every inch of his body. He was rather pale with black runes covering his skin. Very hairy legs. He wondered what his chest looked like and if it was hairy too; he couldn’t see it since he lay towards the door. He envied men with a lot of hair somehow; his Asian heritage wouldn’t allow him grow all too much hair; which always left him look somehow younger and less masculine. He was proud of every little hair sprouting on his body.

His curiosity got the best of him for a moment and he stretched out his arms, leaning on them to look above the shadowhunter and see the rest of his body. Just a quick glance…

“Oooooph” Magnus gasped loudly as his face landed on Alec’s side and slithered down his stomach, his body following as he tumbled from the bed and rolled over the shadowhunter gracelessly, ending up in a human pretzel.

Alec, trained as he was, instantly shot his eyes open and tensed up; looking around himself to see where the danger was, as his eyes lingered on the lump on the floor that was Magnus. “Magnus? Are you okay?!” He asked right away, thinking something might have happened; he lifted himself slightly on his elbows.

Magnus had quite some trouble unfolding his limbs before he sat on the ground, facing Alec. Magnus’ eyes were opened painfully wide. He opened his mouth to say something, but Alec’s intense stare somehow stole his ability to speak. Not speaking about the fact that he was naked. And his chest was indeed covered in a soft looking fur; Magnus mind noticed and stored the information somewhere. 

“You are hairy.” Magnus answered, staring at his well toned pecs.

“What?” Alec returned; a look of pure confusion plastered on his face. That was not the answer he had expected.

“Chest. Hair.” Magnus cringed at his own awkwardness and felt his face heat up.

Alec’s look of confusion quickly turned into a full on smirk as he visibly fought against the urge to laugh. Magnus was checking him out very obviously. “Yes, I have chest hair.” he breathed, half laughing, wondering about his behaviour, had he never seen chest hair before, or did he just not expect it? He quickly understood the whole situation and what must have happened, which only made him laugh more.

Magnus felt completely humiliated…by himself. This situation and Alec’s laugh. He has never stuttered before; he was able to articulate perfectly in all kind of situations. But his mouth wouldn’t let him form a coherent sentence anymore. Also, he sat, nearly naked in front of him on the floor; Alec must have realised what had happened by now. He got up from the floor and left for the bathroom without another word, feeling utterly embarrassed.

He heard the shadowhunter laugh in the other room and was about to go back and tell the other one to shut the fuck up; but he didn’t even dare to do that. He wasn’t very easily embarrassed by anything actually, something about the shadowhunter just constantly made him lose his mind. He was just very intimidating somehow; with his stares and words and gestures and that pretty voice…

Magnus groaned about his own behaviour; he was not a little teenager, that man in there was much younger than him; why was he so startled by him.

He left the bathroom, a serious look plastered on his face as he decided to make a point and stood in front of Alec; who sat on the floor, leaning on his bend legs with his arms and looking up at Magnus softly, still slightly amused and waiting for him to speak.

Magnus pointed a finger down at him and huffed once…twice…and then turned to walk back into the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind him. Well that went great. He got that point across perfectly. Well done. What was it about that guy, why couldn’t he behave like a normal grown up man around him.

He twitched to the knock on the bathroom door and turned around to stare at it.

“Magnus? I am sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable. I didn’t mean to mock you.” Alec’s voice was almost a whisper. Magnus leaned against the door with his shoulder and thought about what to return.

“I will go and leave you alone.” Magnus gulped and looked around himself desperately, he didn’t want him to leave like that, he hadn’t said anything yet, he quickly opened the door in a swift movement making Alec fall forward as he had leant against it as well. He stumbled into Magnus chest. “Sorry!” both stuttered at the same time and straightened themselves, before looking into eachothers eyes; Magnus broke the silence with a soft chuckle, Alec chimed in until they had a full on laughing fit.

Magnus rose from his knees and wiped a tear from the edge of his eyes, he didn’t really know why he was laughing at all, he just realised he enjoyed the sound and sight of Alec laughing very much. His whole face lit up, he had small wrinkles on the edge of his eyes, his smile was wide and genuine. What a beautiful man.

“I need to get something to wear and have a shower.” Alec then broke the silence that had settled again. Magnus nodded with a soft smile and watched the other one leaving his room; most likely to rush to Jace’s at least that is what Magnus thought. “See you at breakfast.” Magnus yelled after him; Alec waved a hand to gesture he got it and agreed before he left. Magnus then collected himself, shaking off the weird morning in his mind to get dressed himself.

\---

He left the room an hour later; with a tight blue jeans and a white shirt, with some black label across the front, that seemed to be a little too long, it looked like some kind of skirt dangling around his waist. Really, he didn’t get this kind of fashion yet, but it was comfortable. He also wore a long necklace with a leaf around his neck. His hair was half up-half down and a thin line of eyeliner below his eyes. Nothing near as perfect as Clary had done it to the downworld meeting. She had left the make up at his room the other day, maybe her spare ones. He would have never put make up on himself in the past, but he had seen it on himself here so often now that he got kind of used to it, it framed his narrow eyes nicely and made them shine more and also he saw that the others didn’t mind it at all, like it was something completely normal to them, which made him courageous enough to wear it. But it was so lightly drawn that most wouldn’t even see it.

He got himself breakfast, the usual fruits and bread and walked down the cafeteria to his usual spot as some whispers crossed his ears. ‘…when’s he finally gone…’ - ‘…lost my appetite…’ Magnus stopped in his tracks and straightened up like rod, before turning halfway and walking towards the noises and sitting down next to three rather young looking shadowhunters; all of men, placing his tray down with force. The men watched him with caution, nobody daring to move or say something.

“Gentlemen.” Magnus said kindly and then began to eat his fruits. The guys exchanged looks and looked obviously uncomfortable. Magnus wasn’t one to let others mock him, if they wanted to do it, they could do it in front of him. The guys looked around once more as if searching for someone.

“Don’t you have somewhere else to sit?” One of them then blurted out. Magnus placed his banana down and turned his head to him, his face emotionless. “Would you rather have me sit on your lap?” Magnus asked with a quirked eyebrow. The man shook his head violently, startled by the answer. “No! I want you to leave.” The guy said quietly but with determination and disgust on his face.

Magnus eyed him for a moment, before getting up and leaving slowly; only to turn around a second later abruptly, his arm raised and stretched out towards the guy when someone grabbed him by the elbow forcefully and made him turn on the spot. Jace pulled him away from the scene, before too many shadowhunters would notice the situation. Luckily the cafeteria was rather loud with all the chatter and clatter. Magnus got rid of the grip on his arm smoothly and turned back around marching his way to the 3 shadowhunters once more, orange magic tingling around his fingers; when an arm twined around his chest, stopping him from moving forward.

“Let go off me Jace!” Magnus barked but the shadowhunter wouldn’t let him and held on tight. It was like he wasn’t in control at the moment, Magnus acted out of instinct; an instinct that was brought onto him by a certain demon Magnus didn’t want to waste a thought about. He felt his magic tingling in his fingers, his body tensing with fury.

“Magnus! You have to calm down. Now.” Jace’ voice was calm even though his body wasn’t and he had to put all his strength into the hold he had on the warlock.

The three shadowhunters watched the scene with a smirk on their faces, enjoying what they had caused, feeling themselves confirmed in their thoughts that warlocks were nothing but crazy and dangerous. A few other shadowhunters now watched the scene as well and Jace pulled Magnus away once more to get him out of their attention. “Magnus!” he tried again, but saw the warlock was completely out of it. His eyes flickering a bright gold.

A loud smack literally snapped Magnus out of his trance-like-state. He didn’t know what had happened, but felt his right cheek burning violently. “Sorry. You okay buddy?” Jace assured himself, knowing he might have overstepped there by slapping him, but he really saw no other way. He didn’t want Magnus to start a riot and he was clearly not himself. Magnus nodded firmly and cupped his own cheek lightly; Jace pulled him with him, not unkindly. Magnus eyes drifted aside to see the shadowhunters laughing loudly. Shame crept up his body; mixed with anger. A lot of anger.

Magnus sat down next to Izzy once they reached the table; she sat on his usual spot, the one on the edge in front of Clary, Jace sat down next to his girlfriend. So that Magnus and Jace faced eachother in the middle of the big table. The girls eyed the boys suspiciously. “Good Morning you two?” Clary asked, wondering why they were doing a staring contest. “Is everything all right?”

Jace began eating, stuffing his mouth without a care and shrugged. “Yeah, perfect.” While Magnus snapped his fingers, conjuring himself a breakfast too; since he had left his at the other table; some crepes appeared in front of him and he dived right in. Both aggressively eating their breakfast while the girls shared a weird look.

Alec appeared at the table, sitting down to Magnus left side. The tension was literally radiating off the table and the two men in the middle. Nothing but loud clatter was heard, as Magnus and Jace ate away. Before Alec could open his mouth to ask what’s wrong; Jace slammed his fork and knife down on the table and glared at Magnus across the table.

“What the hell is wrong with you?!” Clary’s head shot up and her gaze followed her belligerent boyfriend to Magnus; a slice of toast still in her mouth and hand.

“I had everything under control.” Magnus stated putting his fork down too.

“Yeah, I saw that. What were you gonna do? Turn them into ashes?” Jace inquired.

“What, no. I wasn’t going to hurt them.” Magnus snapped back.

“I saw you. What did you plan on doing then? Handing them a bouquet of flowers?” Jace pressed.

“Yes! Pretty Flowers. I would have stuffed their fuc…,” Magnus stopped when a few shadowhunters passed the table, looking at them. Magnus clenched his teeth and saw Jace do the same on the other side. Alec, Izzy and Clary sat bewildered, watching the two bark at eachother loudly, not getting anything at all.

“They would have deserved it.” Magnus mumbled in his beard.

“Yes, they did, but you have to control yourself. Don’t let them get to you, they are assholes anyways.” Jace returned with a shrug of his shoulders and returned to his food, calmer now. Magnus did the same and the conversation seemed to have ended for them.

“What?” Izzy then exclaimed, looking from one to the other. “I don’t get it. What happened? Who are assholes?” Izzy looked around herself as if searching for anyone. “Those new guys, second table.” Jace said without looking up and everyone except the two turned their eyes to the said table and then back to them. “Did they hit you?” she asked Magnus, putting emphasis on ‘they’. She had clearly seen the red mark on his cheek the moment he sat down with them, since it was the side facing her. Clary craned her neck to see what she was talking about and just then saw the half of Magnus face glowing a bright red.

That was Alec’s cue, he had followed the conversation quietly until now; but the last remark made him straighten his body and focus. Magnus felt a finger under his chin as his head was pulled to the left and above his shoulder; seeing Alec’s intense stare at his cheek. His lips parted and something clearly snapped in his mind; his eyes turned dark and dangerous, he grabbed his stool and was about to push himself up; most likely to storm over there and do god knows what; when Jace interrupted. “No, that one was me.”

Their heads turned to Jace, who had his hand lifted. His face showing little emotion, but there was some regret in his eyes. “What?” Clary smacked her boyfriend on the arm. “Why would you do that?” Magnus still stared at Alec; whose expression changed once more. His dark eyes now fixed on Jace. Remembering the moment in the training room when he had witnessed Alec go at his brother because of Magnus, he knew he had to clear this situation quickly before anyone got hurt.

“It’s fine, I needed that. Thank you.” Magnus rushed to say to soothe Alec, but looked at Jace and really, he had needed it. He was glad Jace did that actually and he wasn’t judging him for doing so; he didn’t want to think about what would have happened otherwise. He had needed someone to get him back into reality. And he knew Jace didn’t do it to hurt him but help him.

Alec’s expression changed once again, visibly thousands of emotions going through his mind. He then stood up, a bit calmer than before and left the group. They followed him with their eyes, seeing him standing at the second table to the right where the new guys sat. He motioned them to get up and spoke words they didn’t understand from afar. They got up reluctantly, one after the other and all of them left the cafeteria, followed by Alec.

Magnus turned his look back to Jace. “Well…it was nice knowing them. Or maybe not. I doubt we will see them again.” Jace finished his breakfast and then got up, taking Clary with him. Magnus furrowed his brow and then turned to Izzy who still shovelled the last spoons of her breakfast into her mouth. “What is he going to do?”

Izzy smiled softly at him, of course he didn’t know why Alec would behave this way and why he would most likely be banning them from the Institute right now. If he wasn’t beating the crap out of them altogether. “Don’t worry about it.”

Magnus did worry. He didn’t mean to cause any trouble. Not for the three of them. Nor for Jace, and most definitely not for Alec. This whole situation just had him on edge more than he wanted to admit. “Simon asked if you want to ‘hang’ with him.” Izzy said imitating Simon’s words with a light laugh. Magnus rose his eyebrows at her, the same smile on his face. “Yes, I’d love to.” He answered honestly, distraction was always good. “We’ll be working on the seelie case all day, so we’ll be rather busy. Is it okay if we call you if we need you?” Izzy said getting up from the table. “Of course, anytime.” Magnus replied in an instant and did the same. “I will text you his address then. See you later Magnus!” She left and Magnus took out his phone; before leaving for his room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooooo, I hope you enjoyed this emotional chapter. Quite the ride. We had a lovely Malec moment 😍 Also some insight into Alec's current state of emotions. Will Magnus ever get rid of those awkward moments? I guess not 😂 What do you think about Magnus losing his chills; gladly Jace was there to help him, in his own weird ways. Thanks so much for all the lovely comments and all those kudos on the last chapter! 😘 The song played on Magnus phone is "Run" by BTS.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Magnus…” Alec stuttered. Magnus looked at him, visibly somewhere else in his mind. Alec could see the exact moment his eyes focused and he looked directly into Alec’s eyes and his mind caught up with what was happening.
> 
> Magnus’ eyes widened in slow motion and his lips parted. “Alec?” he repeated in a whisper. Both stared at eachother for what felt like hours, mere inches apart, shock visible on both their faces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://ibb.co/3YXFGP0)

Magnus ended up spending the rest of the day at Simon’s apartment, they had started out playing video games with Magnus losing every one of them with dignity, Simon not so much as he might have shed a tear or two with the muffled words of “finally, I know what it feels like to win.” Simon spent some time showing Magnus how to play the guitar, Magnus excelled in that one at least, he had skilled fingers and hand to eye coordination and could now master the art of playing the first chords of “Twinkle, twinkle little star”. They ended up playing with Simon’s precious Star Wars cards that were each carefully wrapped in plastic.

“I doubt I will ever get enough of that!” Magnus said munching on a slice of pizza margherita happily. They might have been on their third pizza order that day and didn’t feel any guilt about that. Even though he felt like he was about to burst any second but really couldn’t stop himself. Since he had felt that taste on his tongue the first time, he knew he would never want anything else than that.

The already not too clean apartment looked like a herd of rhinos had just ran through it, he didn’t know it was possible to get that place even dirtier. The first disgust he had felt stepping into that man cave, the scent of beer and sweat hitting him like a wall, quickly vanished into the thin air just like his grace and manners. Maybe they also had a little too much of beer, bottles standing half empty on the dirty wooden table in front of the all too small tv. You really had to crouch and narrow your eyes to see anything at all.

Magnus had his legs crossed beneath himself, launched back into the couch while nibbling on his beloved pizza. A cheesy stain or two gracing his formerly white shirt. “I’ve never liked that guy really.” Simon said shaking his head with a laugh. Magnus had told him about what had happened that morning after a few sips of his drink. “He is so full of himself.” Simon said imitating Jace with his body, bulging his chest.

“I rather like him.” Magnus returned, still chewing. Simon nodded along. “Yeah…me too.” He agreed, seemingly changing sides as he see’s fit. Magnus chuckled at that. “Jace is actually quite nice once you know him better. It takes some time to get into his humour and stuff but once you do, well he is like really cool.” Simon rambled. “I think he likes me too, he is just too shy to say it.” Magnus had to laugh once more. Simon was really one of a kind. He enjoyed that guy, he felt like they have been friends forever, he was funny and charming and just really honest, he wasn’t playing and pretending to be anything else.

“What about his brother?” Simon froze a little, rather obvious and then grabbed his bottle of beer. “Eh, what about him?” he returned not meeting Magnus gaze.

“What do you think of him? Is he okay, is he trustworthy?” Magnus didn’t really know why he was asking at this point, but he knew Simon knew him much longer and this was his chance to maybe get to know more about him. Simon placed his bottle back down. “Yes! Definitely yes. Alec is the best. I mean he is a great shadowhunter and Head of the Institute and all and what he did for us downworlders is just amazing. He is very trustworthy and a friend you can always count on. I think he doesn’t like me much though. He isn’t the type to be shy about it, so…if he doesn’t show you affection, he probably hates you. And if he does…he probably loves you.” Simon blurted out. “But we had our ups and downs, it was way worse some time ago, since I’m with his sister he actually smiles at me from time to time. Which creeps me out.” Simon grimaced.

“How come he has no girlfriend? He seems like a good catch to me. Or does he?” Magnus inquired.

Simon stared at him for a moment, thinking about the whole absurdity of this statement and how he should answer to that. He was already Magnus’ “catch” without him knowing. And also, did Magnus not know Alec was gay? Maybe he didn’t tell him yet.

“Well, I could say the same about you!” Simon tried changing the topic, because he didn’t feel like it was his place to out Alec like that, maybe he felt more comfortable around the young Magnus not knowing. Magnus narrowed his eyes as he realised, he dodged the question, but also the words he just said. “I mean, you are wise and handsome and tall and strong and all.” Simon blurted out. “And you do that thing with your hands. That swoosh.” He made some awkward gestures with his hands.

Magnus felt flattered and embarrassed all the same. “Thank you, Simon. I suppose. You are a nice guy too. But really…you talk too much.” Simon made an offended face at him. “Ouch!”

“No, I mean it. I enjoyed our time today, it made me forget about everything for some time. Thank you for that. I am not used to people being so nice to me and inviting me into their homes, wanting to…’hang’” Magnus imitated Izzy’s words from earlier with a chuckle that Simon joined in.

And it was in fact really nice to spend time with Simon. They seemed to share one braincell and laughed about the same stupid stuff, liked the same music and obviously the Lightwoods.

Simon visibly straightened, pride and a smile shown on his face. “I liked it too Magnus. You are pretty cool. I always knew we would click!” Magnus tilted his head aside. “I mean, I felt we would when I saw you. That is what I meant.” He stuttered.

“I can’t say I felt the same.” Simon shoved Magnus aside roughly with a “Hey!” and then got up to tip toe through his apartment, he returned with a poster of some kind. “I’m gonna have a gig at Hunter’s Moon this weekend, you have to come.” Magnus nodded with a smile, looking at the poster and then to Simon. “I wouldn’t want to miss it.”

\---

Magnus peeled his eyes open, feeling slightly nauseous instantly. He looked around himself, wondering where he was for a moment when he noticed a leg across his stomach. He followed the limb with his eyes up to the owner seeing Simon sleeping next to him, mouth wide open and drool hanging down his chin. They had fallen asleep on the couch apparently or were just knocked out by the booze. Two empty bottles of whiskey now lay next to their bodies.

Magnus straightened himself and felt his whole body hurt, he shoved the leg off him, wondering about the past evening and night, he didn’t remember half of it. A few memories crossed his mind, one of Simon and him dancing on the little table. No, that can’t be true, how ridiculous, he thought when his eyes met the remains of what was once a table on the ground. Or maybe not.

The light was shining in only lightly, it looked more like moonlight than the sun, it must be pretty early still. He got up with a groan and stumbled across the room to find the bathroom, when he returned, he found Simon still in the same position. He noticed him wearing his white shirt right then and looked down on himself seeing a black loose shirt on himself. “Rock Solid Panda” it read in white bold letters. It even had a signature of Simon across it ‘to my number one fan’ it said below the signature and Magnus scratched his forehead for a moment, he shrugged it off and took his jacket to leave. He gave Simon another sympathetic smile and then left the sleeping vampire.

He was happy everybody seemed to be still asleep, once he reached the Institute. Also, no Underhill roaming the halls. He made his way inside and up to his room without being seen. His room was dark, the curtains preventing the light to shine in. He threw himself on the bed without undressing and fell asleep instantly.

\---

Alec massaged his tense neck when he walked upstairs to his room, feeling completely exhausted from the day. They had spent most of the day trying to get information from the seelie in the cellar and inquiring the injured shadowhunters in the Infirmary. The seelie wasn’t very cooperative and kept silent. They were working on a way to make him talk, they could really use one of Magnus potions right now, but well. That wasn’t an option at the moment and they contacted different warlocks about the matter, still waiting for replies. Unfortunately, Catarina wasn’t available. Alec had tried to contact her multiple times the past days, not only for the seelie matter but she never picked up.

The injured shadowhunters had explained what had happened the best they could. They had found the seelies and the warlock arguing in the alleyway on their usual patrol. Soon after their arrival the situation had escalated and the seelies attacked the warlock, they had tried to protect her but the seelies were in the majority and too strong. All the information was now stuck in his head as he walked along the slightly luminated corridors and he didn’t know what to make of it. It all made no sense, they needed the captured seelie to talk soon.

He desperately needed some rest and get some sleep. Also, he really wanted to see Magnus, he hadn’t seen him all day because he was just too busy. He rushed the last steps and opened the door, his mouth already open to say something as he stood in the empty room.

He looked at his watch, it was 10pm. No calls or messages. He clenched his teeth, fighting the urge to call the warlock, he didn’t want to seem clingy, but he couldn’t stop himself from worrying where he was and what he was doing. Everyone Magnus knew was in the Institute with Alec all day, so there weren’t many choices left. Raphael, Simon, Catarina. He dialled his number and placed it against his ear, before lowering it again and ending the call before it would ring. No, he had to be patient. He changed and then went into bed, deciding to wait there for the warlock to return.

A soft snore was heard across the room a minute later.

When Alec awoke again, he felt some pressure against his back and chest. He breathed in, inhaling the comforting scent of Sandalwood, mixed with a bit of alcohol and pizza, he didn’t need to open his eyes to know it was Magnus. He was spooning him from behind rather tight, his arms enveloping Alec’s chest. One leg curled over his waist. Alec smiled softly and just wanted to stay in this moment forever. It felt so familiar and good, he had missed that warmth so much the past weeks, he couldn’t help himself, he pressed back against Magnus and melted into the embrace.

Alec’s eyes widened again as he felt something poke his lower back. He knew that feeling all too well. He froze, not really knowing how to behave now. His instincts yelled at him to turn around and straddle the sleeping warlock, but that was nothing he could do now, or was it.

Alec nibbled on his lips, his heartbeat increasing as he thought about all the ways he could react now but decided, painfully, that he couldn’t do any of that. He pressed himself back against Magnus some more involuntarily, his body seemingly deciding against his better judgement, as he heard the other one let out a soft gasp against his neck.

A shiver ran down his spine instantly as he felt Magnus warm breath against his skin. His heart began pounding against his chest below Magnus clenching hand. He needed to stop himself, he needed to get up. He tried to peek over his shoulder carefully to check if he was still sleeping. He was. He pushed back once more and moved his ass in slow circles trying to reach Magnus erection, listening to the soft noises escaping Magnus lips. He felt the pressure against his backside increase with each second as Magnus cock hardened to the contact. This was so wrong…and so right.

Alec gulped and closed his eyes, enjoying the moment and opportunity he was given more than he should. His conscious was telling him to cut it and leave, Magnus wasn’t doing this on purpose, it was just his body reacting and he would probably freak out if he knew what was happening. He couldn’t take advantage of him like this. Hating the fact, he always had to do the right thing, he pulled himself away from the tight grip and slipped out of the bed smoothly. Magnus lay back on his back and gasped, a pout crossing his sleeping face for a moment.

Alec stared at him for a moment, or maybe more. Magnus was still the most beautiful thing he had ever seen in his life, yes thing, he was more beautiful than every sunset, every flower, every night sky. He still wondered how he got so lucky, to meet him, to fall in love with him and have his love returned…he flinched at that thought and then let his eyes roam down Magnus body.

He was still fully dressed, Alec then noticed. It wasn’t clothes he knew, but he didn’t know any of Magnus clothes these days. He thought he had seen that shirt before, he looked a little closer seeing Simon’s name on it and the saying below and frowned.

So, he had spent the night at Simon’s. Also, they had exchanged clothes. He didn’t know if he liked the thought, of course, he trusted Simon, more than Raphael for the matter. He knew Simon was no threat. But did he really need to sleep there. Did they need to dress in eachothers clothes? He wasn’t jealous no, he was just…so jealous. He clenched his jaw and fists painfully hard. He really needed to have a talk with Simon later. Bad enough he had this thing going with his sister but he really didn’t need to see Magnus naked too. That was his privilege alone.

His eyes wandered lower on the sleeping warlock and rested on Magnus very prominent bulge. He felt his mouth water and swallowed heavily. He just couldn’t help it, it had been too long and the sight was doing things to him. A twitch in his boxers snapped him out of it. He didn’t need to see what was obvious, he already knew he was painfully hard, how could he not after rubbing his ass against Magnus a minute ago.

He left the sleeping warlock to head for the shower, getting rid of his boxers and stepping inside the shower, turning on the water, a little colder than what felt good.

Magnus groaned when he awoke, a stinging pain thundering against his forehead. This was not the first time he woke up with a headache these days and definitely not the last, he thought as he straightened himself and slid off the bed, without even opening his eyes much, he knew his way. Every step hurt like hell and made him want to vomit. He really needed to cut it on the alcohol.

He shuffled towards the bathroom like a zombie, not noticing the steam or loud splatter of water inside as he closed the door behind himself, he was still half asleep and his hangover got the best of him. His eyes still closed, he went to pee, darting his cock down as best as he could, he was used to this morning routine, he usually awoke with a hard on so didn’t think much into it but to his dismay the erection wasn’t leaving him as it usually did after peeing. He shrugged.

He got rid of his shirt, belt and pants. Letting everything drop to the ground, before pulling down his boxers and socks. Not wondering about the fact that he was dressed at all. His mind was still on that comfortable pillow in those warm covers on that awful bed.

Alec snapped his head to the right and literally jumped back against the wall the moment Magnus walked inside the wide and floor levelled shower humming, his eyes closed and his cock still pointing upwards proudly. The sight of Magnus’ naked body was very familiar but still took his breath away instantly. He eyed Magnus’ crotch like a creep, sucking the sight into his memory again, before he forced his eyes up. Which was pretty hard. Hard. Hard…the word repeated itself in his head. Alec’s mouth went slack and he tried to make something out of this situation, why was Magnus coming inside? Naked? Didn’t he see Alec? Didn’t he hear him? Was he sleepwalking?

Magnus opened his eyes slowly as he felt water drops against his face. He wondered about the fact the water was already running, but it didn’t startle him much. He looked aside and up to see a gaping Alec in front of him, pressed against the white shower tiles behind himself, his eyes wide and a deep red blush on his cheeks.

“Alec?” Magnus asked sleepy and then chuckled, shaking his head lightly. “Now you follow me in my dreams too, hm?” He shrugged and stood closer to Alec to get under the water stream, his shoulder touched Alec’s chest involuntarily, who panted heavily next to him. Magnus frowned. That felt rather real. Odd. He thought and scratched his balls lazily.

“Magnus…” Alec stuttered. Magnus looked at him, visibly somewhere else in his mind. Alec could see the exact moment his eyes focused and he looked directly into Alec’s eyes and his mind caught up with what was happening.

Magnus’ eyes widened in slow motion and his lips parted. “Alec?” he repeated in a whisper. Both stared at eachother for what felt like hours, mere inches apart, shock visible on both their faces.

Magnus looked down on himself, seeing his naked frame and also his hard dick greeting him. Startled, he grabbed his erection with both hands, trying to hide it somehow, which wasn’t possible at all from the size of it and snapped his head back up. “Oh god.” He stumbled backwards to get away and slipped up, landing on the hard tiles with his backside, his back slamming against the wall.

“Magnus!” Alec yelled as he saw the other one slip and tried to grab his arm, but it was just too slippery to get a hold, he fell with him to the ground and landed on his knees between Magnus parted legs. He steadied himself on his stretched out arms to each side of Magnus body and hovered above him. Both their heads shot up again, their faces so close they felt each other’s breaths against their skin.

Magnus felt the cold wall against his back, his painfully throbbing ass and the warmth radiate off of Alec who crouched between his legs, completely naked.

His eyes landed on Alec’s groin involuntarily. Seeing Alec’s hard cock, nearly touching Magnus thigh, it was huge and very straight, prominent veins covered the slightly flushed skin, trimmed dark hair surrounding the area. Magnus mind collected all those random facts within a matter of seconds and stored them in his memory, without him even wanting to. He couldn’t help it, he had never seen someone else’s cock this closely and in detail.

He forced his eyes up to Alec’s, who rose his eyes the very same moment. Magnus remembered that he was naked too and Alec had probably seen him as well. This couldn’t get any more embarrassing.

“Alec, did you see,” a female voice broke the silence after the door opened. “Oh, by the angel!” Izzy shrieked, throwing her hands up to her eyes to cover them. “Are you serious guys! Why!” They heard her yell from the other room. “Jace don’t!” the blond shadowhunter appeared in the doorframe a second later.

“What the!” he made the same gesture as Izzy and stormed off. “Why didn’t you warn me!” He scolded. “I did! You just never listen!” they ranted.

“Someone stab me please.” They heard Jace plead and then their voices disappeared. Magnus had to correct himself, it could get more embarrassing.

\---

Alec, Magnus, Jace and Izzy sat at breakfast, silence filling the void between them. “Good Morning everyone!” Clary greeted cheerfully and sat down on her spot, placing her tray down and eyeing everyone of them. “Did I miss something?” she elbowed Jace when nobody answered her. “What’s up?” Jace shook his head slowly, his eyes wide open and watching his breakfast intensely. He looked like he just saw a ghost.

“Okay. Would someone please tell me what happened.” Clary lost her patience.

“Alec and Magnus made out in the shower when we walked in.” Izzy then said.

“Made out? If that is what you call it nowadays. I saw things.” Jace added completely horrified.

“We didn’t,” Alec started and eyed his siblings dangerously. Why did they have to be like that now? Where could he switch those two for proper siblings? Couldn’t they just behave like normal grown-ups for once? “We didn’t do anything, Magnus slipped and I,”

“Slipped into him?” Jace ended his speech with an eyebrow raised, not believing a word his brother said.

Magnus wanted nothing but the ground to swallow him whole and slid down his chair in mortification.

“Jace!” Alec scolded and kicked him against the shin below the table, not too gently. “Ouch! Why?” Jace growled and rubbed his leg. “You were the ones doing naughty stuff in the shower not us.”

“I wasn’t. We didn’t. Nothing happened! It was an accident.” Alec exclaimed furiously; his cheeks flushed in a deep pink shade.

“Excuse me.” Magnus said kindly and got up to leave the group. He just felt completely embarrassed and needed a moment to himself. This was just a little too much for him. He still heard the siblings rant behind him.

He didn’t need to think much about where to go, he went for the gardens right away and crawled his way up one of the high stone walls surrounding it on one side. His legs dangling from the wall, he put in his earphones and listened to some music, trying to get his mind away from it all.

It worked for some time, before his mind kept circling back to the moment in the shower. He had seen naked men before; it was a normal sight to him. They never got this close though, he still felt Alec’s naked body linger half above him and between his legs, it was humiliating in some ways and thrilling in others. He didn’t know why the memory aroused him so much, he wasn’t attracted to Alec. His cock twitched in his pants, completely disagreeing with him. He groaned at his own body. 

Okay, maybe he was slightly attracted to him. He was a good-looking man. Everyone with eyes could see that surely! He was tall and all muscles, he had broad shoulders and long legs, his arms were defined and covered in veins. He had pretty hands with long elegant fingers. His nails were always on point also. Not to speak about what was above his shoulders. He was just beautiful, he had those plump and wide lips, rows of bright white teeth when he laughed, even his nose was perfect, it was sharp and not too big, he had round mesmerising hazel eyes and long dark lashes surrounding them. His eyebrows danced when he talked and his hair screamed for someone to run their fingers through it, it looked soft and thick. And his voice was deep and comforting and made you shiver in a good way. Even the man’s penis was pretty.

Magnus eyes widened and he stared in shock as he began listening to his own thoughts. He quickly turned up the volume on his phone to not hear them anymore. He really needed to get that perfect man out of his head. Wait what?

His music stopped for a moment when he heard a loud beep coming from his phone. He eyed the device for a moment and wondered what that was about, he then turned down the volume on his music again and tapped the screen until a chat opened up, he had never seen before.

[Alec Lightwood – 8:30am] Hey, are you okay? It’s Alec.

Magnus stared at his screen before tapping it again, seeing a keyboard pop up. So, this was a messaging thing, he had heard about them. He tried to type the letters to answer him, hoping this was the right way.

[Magnus Bane – 8:35am] iokm fijee.

[Alec Lightwood – 8:36am] What?

Magnus read the message with a frown, then reread his past message and gasped. Smooth Magnus, smooth. Apparently, he still had to learn how to work this through. He typed again, more careful to hit the right letters this time. Checking the words twice.

[Magnus Bane – 8:45am] I am fine Alec. Thank you.

[Alec Lightwood – 8:46am] Where are you? Can we talk?

[Magnus Bane – 8:55am] In the garden.

It took him embarrassingly long to type those messages and was relieved Alec didn’t answer anymore, until it dawned on him, that he probably didn’t because he was coming to see him. Okay, he could do this, he was a grown-up man. He couldn’t help but wonder what Alec would want to talk about though. Hopefully not their encounter in the shower. Oh god, he was going to talk about it, wasn’t he? He shouldn’t have left the breakfast like that. Would he be angry for what happened? After all, it was his fault his siblings saw him naked and in shower with another man. Jace seemed to be mortified. He felt his cheeks burn up again and quickly patted them roughly to cool himself. Alec can’t see him like that, he needed to calm, now. He inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly as the image of Alec’s cock blatantly danced across his vision.

Shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you enjoy yourself? I certainly did 😁 Nothing better than some awkwardness mixed with naked Malec, right? The better you have some siblings to witness it first hand. I hope they will get over it 😂 Magnus certainly won't anytime soon. Oh and don't we love some relaxed bro time, Magnus surely can need the distraction and fun time. Thanks for all the kudos and comments on the last one, I love your feedback, please keep on giving! 😍


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jace jaw dropped instantly and his arms fell down his sides. “You what? Why? What is wrong with you?” Jace blurted out and then came closer, sitting down on the chair in front of the desk while Alec slammed his forehead down on the table and stubbornly stayed like that. “I am an idiot.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://ibb.co/MDZR96X)

Magnus lifted his eyes from his phone to see Alec walking down the garden towards him, his arms stiff beside his body, his face showing a lot of different emotions. He looked just as anxious as Magnus himself and snapped his fingers in a nervous habit. Magnus stopped his music and pulled them out of his ears, pushing the device in his pocket before shifting awkwardly. Calm it, Magnus. He is just here to talk.

Alec stopped in front of the wall and looked up, his eyes clenched and a hand lifted to his brows to shield himself from the sun. Magnus sat with one leg draped below his butt, slightly sideways, the other one hanging down, he actually managed to look nonchalant, besides his inner panic.

“Will you come down?” Alec questioned and Magnus shook his head with a smile.

“Come on up.” Alec rolled his eyes and then climbed up the wall gracefully, as if it was the most normal thing to do, sitting down in front of Magnus with a gasp. He straddled the wall and placed his hands on the wall in front of him to steady himself. He eyed the wall, testing his movements a bit.

Magnus blinked, a smile spreading on his lips as he saw how uncomfortable Alec was. He usually was quite collected, without any fear, the wall seemed to irritate him.

“Why are you up here?” Alec still watched the wall as if it was going to crumble beneath him any second.

“I like it up here. You have a good view on things and you are not disturbed. Are you afraid of heights?” Magnus asked, genuinely interested, but also slightly teasing.

“No, I am afraid of this wall. I don’t trust it.” He said with such seriousness that it made Magnus chuckle. “I am sorry for earlier.” Alec then changed the topic not too subtle. Subtle wasn’t his strong suit Magnus noticed that much already. He had a good or maybe bad habit of getting straight to the point. “The conversation at breakfast. I felt you weren’t comfortable and I should have ended it.” Alec’s eyes finally met Magnus’.

Magnus opened his mouth to disagree but Alec continued. “Also, I am sorry for what happened in the shower. I should’ve gone to get a shower at Jace’s. I didn’t think.” He explained, his hand gesturing in the air next to his head. He did that a lot, Magnus noticed. Gesturing with his hands when he spoke. Why did he apologize though? He actually thought he was going to be angry. This was quite some turn of events.

“Well, it was me that waltzed in on you, if I remember correctly.” Magnus smiled shyly, not really looking at Alec, he felt his cheeks warming up.

Alec returned his smile and actually was a bit more comfortable. “I hope this doesn’t stand between us now.” He searched his eyes, until Magnus locked them with his at last. The sun was reflecting in Alec’s hazel eyes and made them shimmer in gold and green.

“No, it doesn’t. It was nothing Alec, really.” Magnus shrugged, sounding rather calm about the situation. And really, it wasn’t that big of a deal to him. It was not the fact he had taken a shower with another guy that was embarrassing to him, but the fact he had been hard while doing so, having Alec see it, he might be old and also confident with his body all the same, he knew he was rather handsome, but there were things he didn’t feel like sharing, the sight of his erect cock was one of it, obviously. The more after seeing what Alec rocked down in his crotch. It was intimidating. Not that he was small, he always thought of himself above average, but still the other one was a few inches ahead of him, story of his life.

He took mercy on the fidgeting shadowhunter and hopped off the wall elegantly and Alec followed him just as graceful before letting out a sigh he was holding. The tension visibly fell off his shoulders. Magnus pressed his lips into a thin line to prevent the grin from surfacing. They strolled along the garden side by side.

“I am glad Magnus. Well, after all you are used to having guys between your legs right.” Alec tried with a joke to lift the mood and laughed along with his words. The ‘17000’ didn’t come out of nowhere after all, so he must have had his fair share already.

Magnus stopped in his tracks, making a face like he was slapped. His eyes went comically wide and his mouth slack as he watched Alec’s back.

Did Alec just accuse him of being a whore? Why would he say such a thing? Did he think warlocks casually spread their legs for everybody? Or just Magnus? How come he gave off that vibe, he didn’t do or say anything close to it.

Magnus didn’t know if he ever felt more offended than right in that very moment.

Alec turned back around to Magnus as he noticed the warlock had stopped walking, his smile fading from his face instantly seeing the shocked expression on Magnus face. He saw anger, confusion and hurt, a lot of it. He had never seen that expression on Magnus face in all their time and knew he never wanted to see it again, it made his throat run dry and his heart do a little flop. What did he do?

Magnus had to fight the urge to slap the shadowhunter across the face like some wounded damsel and clenched his jaw tightly to prevent himself from lashing out. But really, he would have deserved it. Did he just say Alec was perfect? Alec was a fucking jerk, he corrected himself.

Alec tried to understand what was happening as quick as possible, he watched the warlock’s expression closely. What did he say? Alec gasped when it dawned on him, of course Magnus didn’t know he knew about his 17000 flings and relationships. That might have come across wrong. He instantly felt his heartbeat slam against his chest wildly as he realised his mistake and what was going on in Magnus mind. He needed to make this right, quickly.

“Shit. Magnus, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it like that!” Alec stuttered and waved his hands around nervously. How could he explain what he had meant by that? “I meant since you are bi and all, you surely had your fair share of guys within the past.” Alec tried. It seemed to make it even worse, Magnus went pale in front of him.

‘Bi and all’? What was that shadowhunter talking about? Were there rumours spreading he didn’t know about? He never really thought about his sexuality and what it is to be honest. He didn’t want to put a label on it and he hadn’t really thought about it all too much. He had only been with one girl so far and that for quite some time. There was no one else yet. No one else had attracted his attention so far. Alec seemed to think that he was experienced and into love with everyone, since he was an old warlock. Maybe that was something they were taught at the Institute, that warlocks love pleasure and are rather open-minded?

Magnus at least wanted to think that.

For a slight moment Magnus anger and hurt left him, when it was replaced with shame. Shame about the fact he had only slept with one person in 100 years. That didn’t sound too good when you thought about it. Well, he wasn’t going to let it be the last, he just…he still had enough time to explore that more, okay. He was still young; he just hadn’t had the time. Magnus crossed his arms in front of his chest defensively.

Alec seemed to think he was some kind of freewheeling bisexual sex god. It kind of didn’t sound too bad actually. It kind of had a certain ring to it. It wasn’t the worst reputation to be honest. He definitely didn’t want to tell Alec the truth about his inexperience in that departure after what he just said. He had his pride.

At least, Magnus understood now where Alec was coming from and kindly erased the ‘jerk’ from Alec’s name again. His anger subsided and he let his arms drop to his sides again, his fingers interlocked and playing with his nails.

“Are you?” Magnus finally managed to speak again; his voice was slightly crooked after noticing he had been staring at Alec for quite some while now without actually mustering a word.

Alec had watched the mixed emotions on Magnus face and was glad when he finally spoke again. Though the question confused him slightly. “Am I what?” He squinched his eyes and tilted his head.

“Bi and all.” Magnus returned his question to him in a half-hearted attempt to drift the focus away from himself. He didn’t really think Alec was bi to be honest, he just wanted to make small talk.

“I am gay.” Alec said matter of factly and very slow as if it was the most obvious thing.

“Gay?” the word left his mouth before he could think about it. “Oh, wow, I didn’t expect that.” He added in almost a whisper and he really didn’t. Alec didn’t give off that vibe at all, but then again, he never really met gay men in the past, so what did he know.

“I-I thought you knew. You talked with everybody and since they know, it’s not a secret you know, everyone knows.” Alec trailed off, gesturing wildly once more, before putting his arms behind his back to ground himself. He really thought Magnus knew.

“I didn’t know.” Magnus muttered with visible effort.

Alec was gay. He had to let that sink in for a second. All the images of himself naked in front of him then came up to the front of his mind and the way he had checked him out so often. Did that make him feel different about Alec? Would he have behaved different around him if he had known? Would he have slept dressed? No. He answered everything with a clear no. That Alec was gay didn’t make any difference to Magnus. He never treated people different for what they were and he wouldn’t start now.

Alec searched his eyes once more, as if searching for approval. “That is great Alec. I never heard of a gay shadowhunter before. I thought it is rather frowned upon with the clave.” Alec nodded and rolled his eyes once more. Magnus seemingly hit a nerve.

“It is.” His voice was hoarse.

“I imagine it was hard coming out?” Magnus tried to show his genuine affection, but was also just very curious.

“It was, but I-I had help.” Alec gave him a soft smile and there it was again, that loving gaze he used to have sometimes, like he saw something very special to him. Magnus nodded only lightly and thought he understood why Alec looked that way.

“Your boyfriend?” He finally had the chance to ask it, since Simon had so swiftly changed the topic about it before, well maybe because Magnus had asked if Alec had a girlfriend. Simon could have just said that he was gay then.

“Yes.” Alec shifted from one foot to the other, his eyes unfocused. He looked completely uncomfortable but Magnus couldn’t help it, he needed more information.

“Where is he now?” Magnus pressed. He swallowed down the lump that had formed there for whatever reason and awaited the final answer. Where was he? Why was Alec around Magnus all the time when he actually had a boyfriend? Wouldn’t said boyfriend be angry maybe? Or jealous? Should Magnus run? Well it’s not like they had done anything, they weren’t. He wasn’t. But still, they had been naked around eachother and slept in the same room. Magnus knew he wouldn’t want his boyfriend to do that. His boyfriend? Magnus swallowed once more. What was that guy doing to him?

“Not here. He is not…we are not…it’s complicated.” Alec clenched his teeth. Magnus let out a little almost inaudible sigh as he felt Alec’s frustration. It was hard to see him like this, so lost.

But he couldn’t help to think…did he have a boyfriend now or not? He didn’t really feel much wiser after that. People seemed to dodge that question and he really shouldn’t press anymore. Alec obviously couldn’t handle anymore of that.

Alec knew he had to leave, before he said something he might regret. He wasn’t good at lying. “Look, Magnus I am sorry for what I said earlier, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” He said kindly. “But I really have to get back to work now. I am glad you are fine and there is nothing standing between us.” He circled his hand between them both and gave Magnus a firm smile.

“Okay.” Magnus replied with a little nod and watched the shadowhunter leave and walk back into the Institute with long strides. He hoped he wasn’t too curious and the questions had made him walk off. It was just, he never really met gay men before and he was just curious by nature, he loved to learn new things, loved to learn about others.

The topic of sexual preferences wasn’t one people talked about or taught in his dimension. It was a ‘no-no’ topic to everyone and you had to find out all by yourself, if you were lucky you could get your hands on certain books regarding the matter. He actually knew next to nothing about it and what gay men did or did not do. Even things straight people did confused him sometimes.

In his time with Charlotte, they never really talked about the topic, about sex, they just did it, mostly in the same way, at the same time of day and not very often, maybe twice the month, 3 times if he got lucky. It was always great, he loved her and so being intimate was amazing. But Charlotte was rather shy and didn’t like talking to Magnus about it, whenever he had asked something too intimate for her, she froze and didn’t speak anymore, he quickly understood that she didn’t like talking about it and then stopped at one point. She had also always stayed partly dressed during the act to Magnus dismay. Which was also pretty normal for his dimension though. He wondered if it was the same here, but somehow, he doubted it. They seemed very open and quite shameless here.

He cursed himself for bringing up that topic in his head as he realised how much he missed that kind of intimacy. He hadn’t had sex in years, 30 years to be exact. It didn’t feel like 30 years to him though. He had just finally gotten over his ex girlfriend and began thinking about new adventures. Ragnor had always been eager of introducing new people to Magnus and telling him to make a move, to throw himself out there. He actually wanted to follow his advice for once when they were in Peru, before he was sucked out of his world abruptly. Well, that was now out of the picture.

\---

Alec really hadn’t expected that topic to come up at all. His mind wouldn’t give him any rest as the conversation kept on playing in his head. He had never meant to come out to Magnus like that, he really thought Magnus knew about his sexuality, but then again, how could he, of course he didn’t know. It was nothing Alec was ashamed of; he was long past that. Everyone knew and he was proud of it and who he was. He would have just worded it differently if he had known, maybe another time and place as well.

Magnus seemed shocked. He said it was great and all, but maybe he just played it down to make Alec feel better. He was so used to Magnus being so open with his sexuality that it was weird seeing Magnus stutter about the topic and dodge questions. He and Magnus spoke about all kind of sexual matters in all details, Magnus was in fact the one that had urged him to voice his questions and thoughts and needs. He completely forgot that the young warlock might not be as open to the topic yet.

He groaned loudly as he realised how much he had fucked up and let himself fall into his office chair. He leant back and turned around, away from the desk and stretched his legs.

Was he going to treat him differently now? Maybe he wouldn’t be comfortable with him sleeping in the same room anymore. But then again, Magnus was bi himself, so that surely was no problem. But being bi and being gay still was something else, Magnus now knew he liked men and men only. He definitely didn’t want to sleep somewhere else, he wanted to stay by Magnus side so badly. The thought that he maybe had to stay somewhere else from now on and that Magnus would stay away from him had him clenching his hands together painfully, his nails digging into his soft skin.

“Alec?” he heard a male voice say and swirled around in his chair. It was Jace, entering the room and closing the door behind himself to cross his arms in front of his chest casually.

“Is everything okay, buddy?” He asked in his knowing voice. Of course, Jace felt the turmoil in Alec’s head and heart through their bond. Alec felt sorry for him for a moment, that he had to witness all of the mess that Alec was at the moment.

“I don’t know.” Alec answered honestly, knowing he couldn’t lie to Jace. “I miss Magnus.” Speaking those words actually hurt. “I haven’t heard from Catarina in a while also, I don’t know if this is ever going to change back. If I get him back…” Jace nodded and took a few steps forward.

“She will find a way, for sure. She is very powerful.” Jace tried his best to comfort his parabatai, but really, he didn’t know if this was the truth and if its ever reversable.

“There is something else, I might have scared this Magnus away.” Alec grimaced and Jace rose his eyebrows curiously. “What did you do?” he laughed slightly at Alec’s shy expression and blush that graced his cheeks.

“I kind of called him a slut?” The answer sounded more like a question than an answer and he dug his head in his hands, hiding himself.

Jace jaw dropped instantly and his arms fell down his sides. “You what? Why? What is wrong with you?” Jace blurted out and then came closer, sitting down on the chair in front of the desk while Alec slammed his forehead down on the table and stubbornly stayed like that. “I am an idiot.”

“Alec, you are no idiot okay. You are just…” Jace tried to find the right words…he didn’t understand Alec to be honest why would he say a thing like that to Magnus, but this was kind of amusing too. “You are a bit on edge currently. We do weird things when we are stressed.” Alec groaned against the table.

“Tell me what happened, everything. I can’t help you when you don’t.” Jace offered and tried to make Alec snap out of his pity party. Alec lifted his head slightly, still hovering over the table. He coughed to clear his voice before he spoke.

“After our unfortunate meeting in the shower this morning, which really was an accident, nothing happened. I joked about him surely having a lot of guys between his legs before, I really don’t know why I said that. He felt offended of course, then I kind of ended up telling him I was gay, which made it even worse maybe.” He now lifted his eyes to Jace with hope glistening in them, waiting for words of encouragement, that he hadn’t completely messed this up.

“Okay.” Jace said nodding to himself and thought about it. “That is kind of fucked up. Weird convo. But okay. How did he react?” he said leaning on the table with his arms.

“He said it was great and asked about my coming out and such.” Alec shrugged.

“Well, that’s good isn’t it? He seems fine with it Alec. You know Magnus better than anyone, he is very open minded after all, I doubt he will treat you any different.” Jace voiced his fears, knowing exactly what it was that had Alec so stressed.

“You should maybe not push your dick in his face anymore but besides that.” Jace dodged the book that was coming his way elegantly and laughed. “Maybe next time!” He got up and rounded the table to squeeze Alec’s shoulder in comfort. “It’s gonna be all right, you will see.”

\---

Magnus spent the next days watching the Shadowhunters in their natural environment and learning more about the modern world. Nothing bad had happened in the time except that Alec was avoiding him a little, he noticed. He kept sleeping on his rug though every night, which was nice. Magnus had magicked it to be a little bigger and softer for him, he didn’t know if the shadowhunter had noticed. They had some kind of routine by now, but didn’t talk much except the usual “Good Morning” and “Good Night.” Alec had a lot to do with the seelie case and Magnus didn’t want to bother also.

But he had to admit that he kind of missed it. Missed him. He had gotten so used to his presence and his voice, more than he probably should have. He shouldn’t have pressed on the boyfriend topic so much. He made him uncomfortable. Maybe said boyfriend was the reason why he now avoided him? Well, maybe he just interpreted too much into it.

He wore a long red button down shirt with patterns on it, normal dark pants, a few rings and necklaces. His hair a usual mess. Half up half down. He was just about to get rid of his tray after breakfast, when Clary darted around the corner, beaming at him. “Hey Magnus, there you are.” She chirped. “Here I am.” Magnus answered delighted and a bit confused.

“I’ve got something for you, come on.” She said taking his hand and pulling him along with her, along the long corridors. He hissed a little from the pain, his shoulder nearly jumping out of the socket from the sheer force of her pull. She was much stronger than she looked.

“Biscuit, where are you taking me.” He said as he let his eyes roam around the part of the Institute he had never seen before. They entered through a big brown wooden door and then stood in some kind of library. Rows of massive shelves filled the hall, filled to the top with books of all size and kind, the smell of old paper and ink lingered in the air. The light was dim and nobody was around except the two of them.

She let go of his hand and turned around to watch him. Magnus circled himself and looked around with fascination in his eyes. He had always loved books, the smell, the texture, he had spent years reading them, about the past, the present, spells, demons, angels, nature, love, sex, just everything, his interests had no boundaries, he just swallowed them all and he had the time, okay. He had always wanted a library like this to call his own. That would be neat.

Clary clapped her hands and giggled as she took in the obviously thrilled warlock’s expression. “I knew you would like it.” She had tried to get the approval to take Magnus down here for a while now since she knew he loved books, but it was harder than expected, warlocks were not allowed in the shadowhunter’s library. She had to pull a few strings to make this happen.

Magnus let his fingers slide across the old book covers that were slightly dusty. It smelled wonderful. “I love it. Thank you.” He smiled at her fondly, his face lit up with affection and was embraced into a tight hug in her petite arms right after. “That is not everything actually.” She whispered once she let go of him and then went to a corner he couldn’t see, only to return a few seconds later with a book covered in white leather, the title written in gilded Latin letters across it. ‘The Book of the White’.

Magnus mouth went slack as she handed him the book. The book of the white. He knew that book, it was an ancient spell book, one of the most powerful ones. It contained spells, recipes for potions and a lot of dark magic. He had heard so much about this book but never got his hands on it until now. He didn’t even know if it existed at all, since he had never seen it, but he had always been fascinated by it. He couldn’t believe he was actually holding it and felt his finger’s tingling beneath the leather.

“How did you?” he began, still facing the book. “I have my connections.” Clary bit her lips. Well, she had taken it from his loft to give it to him, but that explanation didn’t seem as plausible right now. “I thought you would like to have it.” Magnus nodded eagerly.

“I would. I do. I want.” He stuttered and clenched his fingers into the book. He would never let that go, ever. “Thank you, Biscuit.” His eyes began to water on the edges, but he really didn’t care at the moment. She hugged him again and he hugged her back just as tight. “You are an angel.”

Clary smiled brightly. “I know.” She said winking and then left him to enjoy his new possession, after rubbing his upper arm affectionately. This might not make up for what she had done to him, but she was glad she could at least make him happy.

\---

Magnus spent the next hours on his bed, reading the old Greek spells and trying to memorize everything. This would make him even more powerful and that was just what he needed at the moment to get more powerful and maybe find a way to get back to his dimension also. He really wondered how Clary had gotten that book, it belonged to the warlocks and not the shadowhunters. He didn’t like the thought that they have had it in their hands in this world and felt bad for thinking that way. But he did.

Ragnor would be so jealous, he thought. He had spoken about the book surely around a thousand times. He was even more eager to read it than Magnus, but he didn’t know where it was or if it was just a myth. He wished he could just show it to him, so much.

He let himself fall back on the bed and had the book magically hover above his head to read more comfortable. This was so fascinating. He sucked it all into his memory like it was the most thrilling story that ever existed. He could use those recipes to make better potions back in his world, his potions were okay-ish but these were just better, the spells would work quicker and stay longer. He could make more money with it and attract bigger clients that yet had no trust in the abilities of the young warlock.

He reached the pages regarding dark magic and curiously eyed a few of the pages before slamming the book shut. No, he wouldn’t read those, he didn’t want to. If Magnus knew one thing for sure, it was that he never wanted to become like his father, he had always pressed for Magnus to get used to dark magic and most certainly use it for his own plans but Magnus had insisted to stay away from it. He didn’t want to go down that path. Sure, there might be a few that are more harmless or good to defend yourself, maybe he would give them a chance one day. If necessary.

He huffed and looked sideways to the lonely rug, wondering what Alec was doing right now. He hadn’t seen him in a while and he really wanted to. He didn’t really know when that had happened. But the more time passed, the more he missed talking to him. An idea popped up in his head that moment. He eagerly put the book under the bed, got up and locked the door behind himself with a spell. He pulled out his phone and smiled brightly as his plan unfolded in his mind. He was going to see Alec, one way or another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, he finally came out to Magnus, though Magnus not to him I suppose? Well, who would turn down such a good reputation, really? 😎 I am living for parabatai moments and Alec in his chaotic gay mode 🤗 And Magnus can finally work on his magic? I hope it was a good decision to hand him such a poweful book? 🤔 I wonder where he is going and what his plans are, any ideas? 😁 Thanks for alllllll the lovely comments on the last, rather naughty, chapter and the kudos you gave me! Thank you so much! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. 😘


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec’s eyes went down his bare chest that shimmered in the spotlight, the hint of nipples that occasionally greeted him, down to his legs covered in very, very tight leather pants that fitted him like a second skin and hid nothing, nothing at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://imgbb.com/)  


It was late already when Magnus knocked gently on Alec’s door, not wanting to startle the man at work. A loud and slightly annoyed “Come in” greeted him. He opened the door and peeked his head inside, seeing Alec sitting at his desk, not bothering to look up. His hair was a mess and he had light, dark shadows below his eyes, he was dressed in his more business-like attire, not the shadowhunter gear, obviously in his role of Head of the Institute. Magnus, again felt overly underdressed, like everytime he entered the office. There was just something very intimidating about this room and Alec in the chair.

He wore dark and a little tight leggings-like pants and a light grey long sleeved shirt, it was thin and a bit too long, reaching over his hands and backside. He wasn’t going to meet any people when he had changed earlier, he decided to stay in his room to read his book, so he had settled for comfy wear. But he thought maybe Alec got lost in work again and forgot to eat, also, he really wanted to talk to him again. He held two large paper boxes, in his hands when he entered and closed the door behind himself. He coughed quietly to make himself noticed.

Alec looked up with sleepy eyes and put his pen down immediately, his face lit up and a welcoming grin appeared on his lips. “What is that?” He asked eyeing the boxes for a moment. He was obviously surprised to see Magnus and the food.

“Asian.” Magnus shrugged. “I thought you might be hungry.” He walked to the two leather couches on the other side of the room and placed the boxes on the table in the middle. Alec pushed himself away from the table and quickly made his way to Magnus, sitting down on one of the couches to peek inside the box. Magnus smacked his hand away and pulled the boxes to the other side protectively to look inside himself, he then pushed one of them towards the shadowhunter who gave him a confused look, his eyes narrowed.

Alec took it with caution, fearing another smack, but then opened it when nothing happened to see the typical noodles, with chicken and vegetables. “I didn’t know what you like. I hope this is okay.” Magnus sat down on the opposite couch and opened his own, he broke the chopsticks apart eagerly.

“This is great. Thank you. I was actually starving.” Alec said and then took his chopsticks, carefully pulling them apart. He watched Magnus slurp his noodles and then placed the sticks between his fingers, they slipped and he groaned quietly.

“Let me help you.” Magnus reached for his hands and placed the chopsticks perfectly on his middle finger, between the pointer and thumb. Alec gave them an experimental nudge to watch them fall into his box a second later. Alec rose his eyes as the warlock snorted. “Thanks.”

Magnus licked his lips as he tried to supress the laugh, pressing his lips into a thin line. “I am sorry…” his voice was treacherously high. He snapped his fingers to make a fork appear in Alec’s hands, who then nodded pleased and gave him an affectionate smile.

Magnus bit his lips as he returned to his food, swallowing down that giggle that wanted to surface. Their eyes met while chewing on their food, an amused expression on both their faces. They hummed in silence for a moment, enjoying the overly spicy and unnatural taste.

“You really didn’t need to do that.” He said though his eyes and mouth said something else, the way he nearly breathed it in. Magnus saw his eyes flicker over his body for a moment which made Magnus straighten a little. “Where did you get it?” Alec asked munching.

Magnus sucked in another long noodle that slapped against his cheek. He quickly pulled it away and into his mouth, behaving like nothing had happened.

He placed his box down and leant back. “I wanted to go and get you something, but then I realised that I don’t know my way around New York, so I searched for an Asian place nearby, studied the menu and then…well.” He waved his hand around, indicating that he had conjured it. He felt a little ashamed about the fact. He didn’t mean to steal the food, it just…He scratched the back of his neck. He looked up, preparing for a rant but Alec looked completely relaxed about it.

“If I could do that, I would never stop eating.” He placed his empty box down. “This was good.” He stretched and his face showed pure satisfaction.

“I’m happy you like it.” Magnus actually had had better in the past, this didn’t really taste very authentic, but Alec seemed to have liked it a lot and so he was okay with it. Very okay. Seeing Alec this happy and satisfied made something swell in his chest, like knowing he had done that. He had made him happy. He realised that he wanted to continue doing so.

“Are there any news about the seelie? I never asked about it.” Magnus asked curiously and Alec pondered about his answer for a moment, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration.

“Not really. He won’t talk to us.” They had managed to contact a few warlocks about the matter, but no one of them felt the need to help the shadowhunters. They were currently discussing the possibility of Magnus helping them, or rather Jace was, Alec strongly disagreed.

Magnus nodded, seeing the frustration in Alec’s eyes. It was clear that the topic bugged him and bugging Alec was something he definitely didn’t want to do, so he changed the topic swiftly.

“Alec, can I ask you something?” Magnus had his eyes on the shadowhunters’.

“Hm? Of course, yes. You can ask me anything.” Alec quickly offered and straightened himself a little.

“Why are you avoiding me?” The question took Alec by surprise, he hadn’t realised Magnus noticed and also, he didn’t think he would bring the topic up so bluntly. He was used to Magnus being blunt, he just didn’t know he had always been that way. Alec rubbed his thighs with his suddenly sweaty palms and licked his dry lips.

“I am not, I mean I wasn’t trying to. I’m.” Alec stuttered. Magnus furrowed his brow and Alec collected himself as good as possible. He thought about lying to Magnus for a second to not make this awkward, but then saw those huge brown curious eyes staring at him with concern. He couldn’t.

“I thought you didn’t want me around. After what I said. About, you know. The day in the garden.” Alec really didn’t want to repeat those words again, how he had accidently called him some kind of prostitute. He just hoped Magnus understood what he meant. And also, the fact he outed himself like that was the other thing. He still didn’t know if Magnus was comfortable with this.

Magnus gasped and a warming smile spread on his soft face. “That? That is the reason? Alec, I don’t mind you being gay, not at all. I would never treat you any different because of that. And the other things you said, well, it’s all in the past.” Magnus swung his hand in the air, waving it off.

Alec gulped and then relaxed visibly, like a weight was falling off his shoulders. “I’m so glad to hear that.” The relief was audible in his voice.

Magnus shook his head while laughing affectionately, really that was the reason? That shadowhunter was odd. He was so confident all the time and then got shy over such a little matter, it was endearing. He was really cute. He watched how Alec licked the last drops of soy sauce from his chin and lower lip. He had really nice lips. Alec swiped the rest of the sauce he didn’t catch with his tongue off his chin with the back of his crooked pointer finger, before sucking it into his mouth to clean it absentmindedly. His lips puckered with the move, making them look even more plump. Magnus felt his blood rush down into his groin as he watched the shadowhunters obscene movements.

A blush crept up his chest and spread like wildfire. It reached his cheeks and went up to his curved ears. He cursed his body for betraying him like that and tried to fight it back down. Alec rose his eyes, when he was finally done sucking his finger and saw Magnus with his eyes clenched together, mumbling something to himself. Alec quirked an eyebrow wondering what had happened. Was he okay? Was the food too spicy?

Magnus opened his eyes to see Alec’s confused expression, his eyes narrowed. “Are you okay?”

“Hard!” the word left Magnus lips before he could even think about it. He wanted to slither down the couch, across the room and out of the window to form a puddle of forgotten self-pity in the rose bushes.

“Hard?” Alec repeated with a smile across his lips that spread to his ears, his eyes crinkling on the edges and he felt a laugh bubble up his lungs.

Magnus saw Alec’s eyes drop to his crotch and he just wanted to dart for the door and never return.

Alec got off the couch and walked over to his beverage closet, he took out two glasses and then turned around, holding two perfectly done martinis in his hands. He offered one to Magnus who still wouldn’t meet his eyes.

“Here.” He said to get Magnus attention, who then reached for the glass without looking up.

“Thank you.” He mumbled into his beard stubbles. Silence followed.

“I hope you are up for some hard liquor.” Magnus rose his eyes to the shadowhunter with a ‘no you didn’t’ expression on his face.

Alec nodded a ‘yes I did’ and sniffed on the alcohol before taking a sip to hide his smile behind the glass. Magnus looked down at his own to hide his pure mortification and then tried it himself, it was good but it didn’t ease his discomfort. “It’s good.” Magnus pressed through gritted teeth; he couldn’t bring himself to say anything else.

“It was hard to get my hands on those high quality ingredients.” Magnus choke on his drink and placed the glass down to cough wildly and chaotic. He inhaled deeply when he finally got the liquids out of his lungs and felt his skin burn, his blush increasing even more. How was that even possible. Alec was obviously using that word on purpose.

Alec chuckled and fought his trembling chin down; he didn’t really want to laugh out loud and make it worse. He felt guilty for playing with Magnus like that, but he just couldn’t help it. Seeing the warlock so embarrassed and flushed was such an endearing sight. So completely new and unbelievable cute. He couldn’t get enough of it. He tried not to think about the fact Magnus was obviously hard, for whatever reason. He wouldn’t press his luck now to ask.

He took mercy on him and walked over, sitting down beside him. Magnus backed off a bit and shook his head. Really, he couldn’t handle this now, he was way too embarrassed. Alec put his glass down and reached for his ears tentatively. Magnus sighed involuntarily as Alec cupped his glowing ears with his cold hands. This felt too good. He hummed happily and closed his eyes, getting lost in the feeling.

He noticed Alec was stroking the back of his ear with his pointer finger, which made his skin tingle.

“Better?” Alec whispered in a low voice and Magnus could smell the Asian food in his breath from how close he was. Why did he smell so good? It was some kind of mixture of soy sauce, chicken, sweat, shaving cream, old documents and Sandalwood? It was amazing. Magnus felt his heartbeat increase and hammer against his chest. He looked down with narrow eyes to see if it was visible but of course, it wasn’t. Alec must have felt Magnus tremble, because he let his hands slide to his cheeks and held his face in his large hands firmly.

Magnus gave him the best smile he could muster at the moment; his cheeks rather squished between Alec’s hands. “Yes, it’s better, thank you.” Magnus lowered his head out of his reach to indicate he was fine now and Alec took his hands back. He leant back against the couch with one arm hovering over the backrest; Magnus had his legs pulled up and crossed below his body now. The erection had luckily vanished by now.

“I am happy you came over Magnus, really. I missed talking to you.” And I missed you.

“Yeah, me too. I enjoy our conversations.” And you.

\---

It was Saturday evening and Magnus was getting himself ready for Simon’s gig that day. Simon had texted him to go ‘all dope’ which left Magnus just as clueless as he was before. He stood in front of his mirror, trying on different outfits always questioning himself if it looked ‘dope’. Not knowing what that word meant, made the task nearly impossible. He could use the internet but he still managed to break the phone everytime he tried. It would just randomly go black on him, like all the time.

[Magnus Bane – 8:25pm] WHAT IS DOPE? AM I DOPE?

A blurred picture of the room followed, showing one of Magnus legs.

[Izzy Lightwood – 8:27pm] I’ll be right there.

Izzy opened the doors a few minutes later seeing the flustered warlock on the floor, covered in a pile of clothes all around him, it looked like some bomb went off. She wore a tight red dress, showing off her cleavage pretty much, shiny red high heels along with it, she was perfectly styled from tip to toe as always. She tried to reach the warlock and kicked the clothes out of the way. “What happened here?”

“This is a disaster Izzy.” He groaned as she finally reached him and only then saw his face, he wore make up that was completely smudged and off place, his hair was sticking to the sides in a weird manner. He looked completely lost and messed up. She wondered if he had been drinking and eyed the room for bottles but saw none.

“Okay, first of all, come up. And then we will find you something to wear okay. Don’t worry, just breath.” She pulled him up with his help. “And please, take that off. Now! You look horrible.” She gestured over his face.

“I am not good at this.” Magnus answered lamely.

“Clearly. You will get better, I know that. It takes time to learn and become this fabulous.” She beamed and made a waving motion across her own face. And she did look fabulous, always. But he would get there, eventually.

The door opened and Alec stood in the doorway a second later, he took the sight in. His eyes went from the clothes across the room, to Izzy holding Magnus hands. His face looking like some crazy drag queen. He closed the door immediately and stood in the corridor, trying to understand what he just saw. He didn’t know what was going on in there, but he definitely knew he didn’t want to be part of it. He rushed for Jace room instead.

Magnus watched the closed door for a few more seconds, wondering what that was about before turning back to Izzy, pretending like nothing had happened. “Can you help me?”

“Of course, that’s why I am here. So, let’s see…” she began roaming through the clothes, searching for that exact piece of cloth she had in her mind. It was a button up black shirt with little white cat heads all over it and handed it to him, along with black leather pants. He went into the bathroom to change and came back out right after. He wiggled his hips around trying to move in the pants, before looking into the mirror and going pale. Oh no. He couldn’t wear that. The leather pants shimmered and showed off every muscle of his legs, even the outlines of his genitals were visible. He bulged his eyes and shook his head furiously.

Izzy rushed to his side and placed a few necklaces over his head. “Keep still.” She commanded and he was greeted with a warm cloth right in the face. She rubbed forcefully to get the make up off his face, before she went for his hair with a comb. He hissed and growled along the way. It hurt pretty bad, but he wasn’t going to complain, after all she was trying to help. His hair was now hanging down and slightly messy. She ran back and forth between bedroom and bathroom like a fury. He was pulled to the table right after as she sat him down and stood before him, making his make up. She was obviously in a hurry. After all, her boyfriend had a gig and she maybe wanted to be by his side as soon as possible. He should have asked someone else for help.

“Thank you I,” he began softly but was shushed right away. “I said don’t move!” He pressed his lips together. She was kind of intimidating when she was like this, so he wisely decided to obey. They were very much alike Alec and Izzy, he mused. So loving and so intimidating.

She patted his knee once she was done and grinned softly, turning back into the normal Izzy smoothly. She nodded at her accomplishment and then left the room as quick as she had come. “Don’t be late!” and off she was. He really needed to learn those things fast, he couldn’t ask for Izzy or Clary everytime he wanted to look good. It was just pretty difficult, those weren’t clothes he was used to, he wasn’t used to make up and everything was just so new even after all those weeks. Well, he will work on it.

\---

Magnus swung the heavy door open once he reached the bar, he could already hear the music from outside. The bar was packed. Completely packed. The music was so loud he couldn’t hear his own thoughts, it smelled of alcohol and sweat just like last time. So lovely. He sucked in the last fresh oxygen he would get for the night and made his way to the bar.

“Good to have you back Magnus!” Maia welcomed him from behind the counter. “You too dear.” He hopped on the stool gracelessly, his legs wouldn’t part afar in those tight pants. She turned around to do her business and swirled back around with a martini glass in her hand, wiggling her eyebrows. “There you go.” He took the glass from her petite fingers and gave her a wink. Maia was great. Not talking much, but great.

He felt someone tap his shoulder as he was about to take his sip and looked over his shoulder, nearly dropping his glass. Clary smashed him with the force behind her embrace and then ran off to the back were the little stage was lifted for the night. Jace only gave him a nod, before taking a beer from Maia’s waiting hands and then walked after his girlfriend. Magnus eyes drifted to the door, waiting for Alec to enter but the door kept closed. He let out a puff of air through his nose, feeling slightly disappointed. Well, he surely would come later, he always had a lot to do.

He turned his attention back to his drink to gulp it down before ordering another. He did that for about an hour, he could take a lot, he wasn’t one to get drunk easily. So, he had to drink a little more than others if he wanted to feel the little comforting warmth alcohol provided.

He kept looking back to the door everytime it would open, straightening himself a little to see one stranger after the other enter the bar. His frustration grew by the minute and he slowly feared Alec wouldn’t come at all. He didn’t know why but the thought opened up a deep and black pit in his stomach. He rose his eyes from his lap to look over the masses of downworlders and shadowhunters in the bar. A few shot him a kind smile when they passed him, some even greeted him with “Long no see.” or “Hey Magnus!” Magnus blamed it on the alcohol, he must already hear things.

He noticed a petite woman standing on the other side of the bar, a tight dark blue dress showing off her curves perfectly. She had long and straight brown hair, bright red lips and Asian features. She had been watching him for a while now he noticed. The moment he returned her gaze a wide smirk appeared on her lips and her eyes gleamed. She was a vampire; he could clearly see her shiny fangs. Magnus returned her smile and lifted his glass towards her and watched her shake her head with a mischievous laugh. He furrowed his brow at the reaction and then shrugged, hopped off the stool and made his way to the front and through the crowd.

He searched for red hair and tip toed himself elegantly between sweaty bodies until he reached Clary near the stage, but a little to the left. Jace stood beside her with a beer in hand and talking to her loudly, he couldn’t hear the words though. Simon was singing on stage and Izzy stood in the first row cheering up at her boyfriend and howling with encouragement. They exchanged blown kisses from time to time, it was a lovely but very sappy sight.

Simon really had a great voice, it was deep and smooth, it went down like honey. Magnus smiled up at him and pointed a thumbs up at his friend who waved at him a bit too eagerly like he was really happy to see him here, which made a comforting warmth spread in Magnus chest. This was great. Having friends. Going out. It all seemed so normal by now and thrilling all the same. It was so new but yet familiar. He was happy to be able to be part of this. But…

“Where is Alec?” Magnus turned to Jace. The other one narrowed his eyes and pointed to his ears. “WHERE IS ALEC?” Magnus shouted and Jace came a few steps closer, leaning over to Magnus ear. “HE IS NOT INTO PARTYING.” Jace yelled back and Magnus gave him a nod, trying to hide his resurfacing disappointment.

The hours passed by and Simon had already ended his gig, leaving the stage for people that wanted to do karaoke or all kind of other things. Magnus had to admit that he was really tipsy by now, being on his 20th or soish Martini. He had trouble forming coherent sentences at this point, which rarely happened. But Apparently always when Simon was around. Simon and him leant over one of the small round tables on one side of the bar and eyed eachother goofily.

“YOU HAVE THE MOST AMAZING VOICE.” – “NO, YOU ARE MORE AMAZING” the drunk boys exchanged pleasantries like the adults they are.

Simon pulled Magnus after him towards the stage and spoke to some older guy next to it before giving Magnus a weird and mischievous grin. A few seconds later Magnus heard one of the K-Pop songs Simon had given him begin and Simon went on stage. All eyes were on him as he shrieked like a tortured cat and sang the Korean lines, which was nothing more than rubbish without a meaning. Simon grabbed Magnus by the arm and pulled him on stage and began shaking his hips to the music, indicating for Magnus to go along and dance like they had done the other day.

Magnus didn’t need a second to think, his body instantly took over and he melted into the beat of the music, like a switch had been turned on in his head he danced the choreography of the songs like a pro, every move right on time and how it should be like he had never done anything else in his life. Simon cheered loudly and tried to dance along, though he mostly stepped on his own feet trying.

Simon and Magnus had spent some time watching the musicvideos on youtube last time they hang out, learning the dances and lyrics, or more stumbling across the room in their drunken state which ended in Simon landing on the table and breaking it. Magnus didn’t really remember any of it as he clearly wasn’t sober that night, but somehow the dances got stuck in his head.

They didn’t care that they probably sounded and looked completely ridiculous and had a huge audience by now. They didn’t see how most of them seemed pleased with the performance, at least Magnus’ that was. Magnus was completely into the music, feeling like a Rockstar and lost in his own world where only Simon existed along with him. He didn’t even see the others in the bar or anything else. He felt the heat rise up with each minute that passed, the spotlights shining down on them without mercy. He felt blissfully happy, like nothing could stop him ever again. He opened his shirt some more because it was just too hot, but ended up ripping it open, showing off his sweaty bare chest and stomach. The necklaces dangling down his neck and hitting his chest with every move.

Alec entered the bar, being greeted by a wall of thick sweat and had to hold his breath for a second, the loud music drumming in his ears, making them ache. He instantly regretted coming here at all. But somehow he felt himself being pulled there like a magnet, he knew Magnus was here, that is all he needed to know.

He made his way through the crowds as best as possible, seeing the blond hair of Jace and that was where he was aiming for. He got there slower than he wanted to and groaned along the way as people stepped on his shoes, he was finally welcomed by a cheerfully grinning Jace, his eyes watery and wide, he looked completely out of it. 

“Hey buddyyyyy! You are here!” He hugged him tightly and longer than was appropriate, leaving a scent of beer on Alec’s just recently washed shirt. Alec peeled him off with a grimace and then looked around himself to find the others, when Izzy bumped into him from behind.

“Big broooooooooo” She slurred and laughed creepily. Alec gave her a look and once more regretted coming here. He never got why people would waste themselves like this and turn into wild embarrassing animals without any control. Not that he had ever done such a thing. He tried holding Izzy up as best as possible while hearing loud cheering and whoo’s coming from the other side of the bar were the stage was.

He looked over his own shoulder carefully, almost not wanting to see what was happening. There was a huge crowd turned towards the stage, he followed them with his eyes to the front, seeing Clary jump up and down with one arm raised right in front of Simon jumping across stage like a burnt kangaroo.

He narrowed his eyes and wished he was blessed with blindness.

When suddenly another figure turned around in an elegant swirl and was now at the front. No…that can’t be. The masses cheered even louder now. He had to blink several times to see if this was real.

Yes, it was Magnus, his hair a mess, his make up smudged, half naked and dancing perfectly to the rhythm of the weird sounding music. What kind of music was that? He didn’t get a word. But Magnus seemed to know it as he sang along loudly.

Alec had never seen him dance like that and didn’t know this was exactly what he had needed more than anything in his whole life. That man was just breathtakingly perfect. He already thought so, but seeing him move his body like that, being in control of every little muscle under his skin was almost too much to handle. He moved like a snake, mixed with hard and abrupt robotic moves, it was just mesmerising. 

Alec’s eyes went down his bare chest that shimmered in the spotlight, the hint of nipples that occasionally greeted him, down to his legs covered in very, very tight leather pants that fitted him like a second skin and hid nothing, nothing at all.

It got warm in the bar, or maybe just below his shirt and he pulled on it repeatedly to catch fresh air. He gulped with effort and then peeled his eyes off the too tight pants Magnus rocked, seeing a few downworlders standing near the stage, chatting and giving Magnus startled looks, they looked partly disgusted and partly shocked.

Then it dawned on him, Magnus was still the High Warlock of Brooklyn to them, they didn’t know something had happened. Rumours would spread, they would say he went crazy, take his position…all the worst possibilities crossed his mind and collected themselves to a book of sheer horror. He had to get him out of this situation. He was clearly too wasted.

He looked back up to see Magnus peel off the rest of his shirt and circle it around his head a few times before throwing it into the crowd with a shout. Clary caught it and shrieked loudly like she was his biggest fan.

Alec gathered his jaw from the floor and folded his tongue back into his mouth and crossed the distance in a few huge strides until he stood in front of the stage and looked up at Magnus judgingly, not having the desired effect of making Magnus stop apparently.

The warlock spread his thighs as soon as he caught a glimpse of the shadowhunter and circled his hips to the music, going lower and lower, looking Alec right in the eyes while practically shoving his groin in his face. He let his hand slide down his own chest, over his stomach and to his crotch, grabbing his clothed cock firmly. Alec wanted to be angry, to be confused, to scold him, all he did was gasp and devour him with his eyes. His cock shot up so quickly, he feared it had ripped his pants.

Magnus winked at him and Alec clenched his mouth shut and shook his head. With a clear head, not knowing how he managed that at all, he leant forward and up and slung his long arms around the warlocks narrow waist and pulled him off the stage and into his arms. “Alec?” he slurred and tried to focus on his face.

“I will bring you home.” Alec whispered and Magnus relaxed slightly, he swung his legs around Alec’s waist and locked them behind his back, his arms over his shoulders, he hung on him like a sloth. Alec had no difficulty holding the warlock. He earned a few ‘boo’s from the audience as he left them but that didn’t concern him at all. They could enjoy Simon instead, not his fiancé.

He held Magnus protectively to not make anyone bump into him on his way out. He gave Maia a nod, who was the only sober person in here besides him and she waved him off with a smile.

Once outside, Alec inhaled deeply as he was finally able to breath properly. He decided to walk back home with him, after all he had managed to walk him home the other day and Alec was much larger than Magnus so he should manage and he owed him for that. He noticed how Magnus began to shiver in his arms and then realised he was still naked. He cursed himself for forgetting and tried to take his jacket off without startling the warlock who was apparently falling asleep on his shoulder. He left a puddle of drool on it. Alec managed and wrapped the jacket around Magnus back and pulled him even closer. He could feel Magnus’ steady heartbeat against his chest and heard slow murmurs coming from his lips.

Back in his room, he lowered himself on the bed to make Magnus fall on it, but he wouldn’t let go, Alec laid down on the bed with Magnus below him, until Magnus finally released his tight grip. Alec lifted himself again and stared down at the sleeping warlock. He gulped at the sight and had to remind himself to be a good boy and not ravish him right now. Not that he would ever do such a thing…

Alec began stripping Magnus off his shoes, socks and pants until he was left in his tight boxers which made the urge to kiss and touch him even worse. He took a few deep breaths to calm himself, before turning to take off his own clothes. When he came back from the bathroom, Magnus lay on his stomach, face nestled in the pillows and one leg bent and pulled up slightly. Alec couldn’t help but stare at Magnus ass and the clear shape of his balls below. It wasn’t his fault Magnus was displaying himself like that. He groaned at himself and the whole situation and stormed to his rug. He felt lucky he got to the bar in time, he didn’t want to imagine where that night would have ended for Magnus otherwise.

“Alec…” a muffled voice startled him as he was about to sit down. Magnus stretched his arm and made a grabby motion with his fingers. Alec took his hand after thinking for a second or two and felt Magnus pull him lazily. Alec got the hint, he wanted him to sleep with him on the bed, but that really wasn’t what he should be doing right now. Magnus pulled again with more force and well, Alec was weak. At least for Magnus. He crawled onto the bed to lie down next to Magnus and draped the duvet over their bodies. “Good Night, Magnus.” He whispered and watched his warlock for a bit longer before his eyes fell shut as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooooooo, I hope you enjoyed this rather long chapter. I have a feeling Magnus is not able to deny the attraction towards Alec any longer 😏 He really needs a long and thourough discussion with himself and see what's happening. How do you like flirting Alec, he clearly enjoys being the more collected one for once 😎 And wow, did it get hot in here? Thank you all for the kudos you left on the last chapter and those lovely comments! I answer you all and love them a lot! Much love 😘
> 
> If you want to hear the song Magnus danced to and have a visual of his moves, watch this:  
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BtIEje-uR6s


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Magnus Bane – 2:18pm] What are you doing?
> 
> [Alec Lightwood – 2:19pm] I’m in my office.
> 
> [Alec Lightwood – 2:20pm] Did something happen?
> 
> [Magnus Bane – 2:25pm] I don’t know, you tell me.
> 
> Magnus felt his fingers go sweaty.
> 
> [Alec Lightwood – 2:27pm] What do you mean?
> 
> [Magnus Bane – 2:30pm] Yesterday, yesterday night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://ibb.co/3rvVHDh)

Magnus opened his heavy eyelids, but saw nothing but pure black. He rose his head, which hurt like a rhino had sat on it and sent a wave of magic right into his forehead to make the pain less horrible. To his despair the pain subsided only slowly. His mouth tasted like some animal had gone in their and died on his tongue. He quickly realised he was in his bed and also that he felt nauseous. God, how much did he drink? And why? What had happened? Images appeared in his head but they didn’t make any sense at all. He saw Simon singing on a stage. Ah right, the gig. He nodded to himself and then rolled his body over to the left side, realising he was naked except the short boxers he sported. How did he get naked? Who…he trailed off as the outline of a man’s back appeared in the darkness as his eyes slowly got used to it.

Soft snores echoed through the otherwise silent room. He had heard those snores before, it was Alec. He didn’t know whether to feel relieved or panicked at this conclusion. It was good he didn’t end up in a stranger’s bed, but…

Oh god, please no…he thought as he gently tugged the covers from Alec’s body not to wake him up, more and more skin appeared and his heartbeat began hammering against his chest. A gasp escaped his lips as he realised that Alec was almost naked too, only a thin layer of fabric wrapped around his hips. They were both in bed. Half naked and in their underwear. Magnus quickly lowered the covers again and felt like throwing up, bile shot up his throat and he turned back on his back and clutched his hand against his mouth to prevent it from surfacing.

He didn’t know if it was the hangover or the fact he was in bed with Alec made him feel that way, most likely a mixture of both. He tried to fish for some more memories, anything that might indicate what had happened in bed yesterday, but there were none.

He couldn’t have. He wouldn’t have. Or did he? Did they? Alec wasn’t even at the party as far as he remembered. Maybe they met back in the Institute, or maybe…he trailed off once more as he realised Alec was most likely sober last night. His eyes widened and shot to Alec’s sleeping body.

Nooooooo, he wouldn’t. NO, he didn’t. Anger boiled in his stomach as he thought about all the things the shadowhunter could have done with him while he was out of it.

Okay, think logically Magnus, he reminded himself and pinched the bridge of his nose while feeling a scalp-breaking pain throbbing against his forehead.

You are both in bed. You are both in your underwear. Would you be in your underwear if anything had happened? And was Alec someone to take advantage of someone who was drunk? No…he shook his head internally; he didn’t think Alec was and he felt instantly guilty for his thoughts. He was a bit overwhelmed at the moment okay. He groaned a bit too loud which made the shadowhunter move a little. Magnus pressed his lips into a firm line and waited for Alec to fall back into sleep.

Would he mind if something had happened? Well yes, he would. It was not like he was seeking sex with a guy, but if it did happen, he would at least like to remember what it was like, you only have that one ‘first time experience’ after all. Disappointment waved hello to all his other emotions and made itself at home as he realised he might have slept with Alec and wouldn’t remember a thing. That he might have had sex again after 30 years and wasn’t able to enjoy it. What did it feel like? Being inside of Alec must be an awfully good feeling. Magnus pulled the covers up to his eyes as if wanting to prevent someone from seeing his thoughts.

How was he going to find out? Was he supposed to ask him? Was that awkward? Yes, that was awkward. How was he going to greet him in the morning? Oh god, did they kiss? He pulled the covers up even more until his eyes were nearly hidden as well. He slowly turned around to face the window and curled up into a ball.

Fuck.

\---

“How is everyone?” Alec’s loud voice shot across the cafeteria, he sounded way too cheerful, a wide grin plastered on his face as he walked towards them with his tray in his hands, slamming it down on his place with force.

A chorus of “Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh’s!” greeted him, not as cheerful. Everyone sat crouched down on their place, head lowered or resting on the table. They looked like chewed and spit out, multiple times. Their hair a mess, faces sleepy and pale, dark eyebags below their eyes. Alec inhaled their scent loudly, with closed eyes and seemed to wallow on their misery. Like some demon feeding on hangovers. Yes, he enjoyed that sight, everytime.

“I told you so.” He hummed with a nod and ate his breakfast. “You know, you could listen to me for once. Or maybe not. What do I know.” he pointed out while munching and shrugged.

Jace flipped him off, really that was all he managed at the moment and Izzy only moaned scarily loud beside Alec, her head resting in her elbow. Alec turned his happy face to his right and to Magnus and softened his look. Magnus forehead rested on his tray. He didn’t seem to notice. Maybe he slept. Or he was knocked out. Alec elbowed him softly and watched him lift his head with effort, his eyes closed and strawberry jam dripping down his forehead.

His magic had already worn off, leaving him with his headaches again and the awful feel of a hangover washed over him. Also, he didn’t sleep much at all, the thoughts about what might have happened had kept him up a long time. He heard the others as if far away and was partly aware that he was at breakfast but that was it. He didn’t even remember how he got there and what he wore. Alec took a napkin and gently cleaned Magnus skin off the jam. Magnus didn’t even open his eyes once and then let his head fall back down with a splash as the jam once more covered his skin. Alec rolled his eyes.

“Okay, I will get coffees.” He returned with a tray full of black coffee’s and handed them out. They slowly took them, nipping, sipping, they really looked like a group of sloths, moving in slow motion. Even their grimaces to the too hot coffee were in slow motion. Alec felt sorry for them, apart from his happy feelings. He liked being right. And he usually was.

He clapped his hands together alarmingly forceful which made the group startle. “I want to see everyone sober up now! We have work to do.” He changed into his Head of Institute mode and loved hearing the way they groaned. Oh, this was going to be a good day.

\---

Magnus lay on his bed, spread out like a starfish and he had been for quite some time now, maybe hours. He fell asleep and came back to reality in an uncoordinated routine by now. He just felt too awful to do anything at all and somehow his magic wasn’t working that day. It was just as worn off as his whole body. He felt every limp ache, his head exploded, at least he could keep the nauseous at bay. He hadn’t thrown up, which was nothing new, he never did. He did get nauseous of course but it never got that far. His warlock half usually protected him off such mundane and disgusting things. He was grateful for that.

But now on this awful day, it kindly decided to fuck him and let him suffer. And to make things worse, his mind drifted off to the night, when he awoke next to Alec almost every 5 minutes and he still didn’t know what to do with this. He had realised Alec was at breakfast with him and also heard his cheerful voice. He was never that cheerful before. What could have made him so happy? People are happy when they have had sex…another wave of bile crawled up his throat and he swallowed hard.

He was usually not someone to go around the bush, he talked openly and bluntly with everyone. He was confident, but not when it came to matters as this. This was completely out of his comfort zone and out of his knowledge zone all the same. He could just go and ask Alec, he could also just run into a demon and let himself be devoured. The latter sounded less frightening.

He reached blindly for his phone on the night table and pulled it to his face, he had to use both hands to write properly still and opened his eyes to slits, he couldn’t take more of the brightness. He really had to talk to Alec and this seemed to be the best way.

[Magnus Bane – 2:15pm] Hey Alec. Do you have a moment?

He hit ‘send’ and gasped immediately, not knowing if this was the right decision at all. Also, he didn’t want to disturb the other one at his work for something as unimportant as this. Alec surely had better things to do.

[Alec Lightwood – 2:16pm] Yes of course, what is it Magnus?

The message came in immediately, startling Magnus. Okay, he wasn’t busy then. Or just maybe wanted to talk to him too?

[Magnus Bane – 2:18pm] What are you doing?

[Alec Lightwood – 2:19pm] I’m in my office.

[Alec Lightwood – 2:20pm] Did something happen?

[Magnus Bane – 2:25pm] I don’t know, you tell me.

Magnus felt his fingers go sweaty.

[Alec Lightwood – 2:27pm] What do you mean?

[Magnus Bane – 2:30pm] Yesterday, yesterday night.

[Alec Lightwood – 2:31pm] You don’t remember? It’s a long story, I will come over. Be right there Magnus.

[Magnus Bane – 2:32pm] No! Please, don’t. Just tell me. Did something happen?

[Alec Lightwood – 2:34pm] What are you talking about? When? At the bar?

Magnus groaned at Alec’s stupidity. He had to know what he was talking about! Or did he not? He really had no intention of becoming more specific. This was a bad idea.

[Magnus Bane – 2:38pm] Don’t worry about it. Get back to work Shadowhunter! Bye.

Magnus threw the phone across the bed and huffed loudly. Well, that had definitely resolved his problem. Well done. He heard his phone beep loudly several times right after and narrowed his eyes. He crawled down to take it back into his hands and read the messages.

[Alec Lightwood – 2:40pm] Ohhhhhhhhh wait!

[Alec Lightwood – 2:40pm] I got it. I’m sorry.

[Alec Lightwood – 2:41pm] Are you still there Magnus?

[Alec Lightwood – 2:41pm] No, nothing happened between us if that is what you meant.

[Alec Lightwood – 2:43pm] Magnus?

Magnus let out the breath he had been holding in a long sigh. Nothing happened. Good. Finally, he knew. A weight fell off his shoulders and the tension radiated off his body, making him relax into the bed once more.

[Magnus Bane – 2:45pm] Thank you.

He tossed the phone away and closed his eyes and let sleep take over once more, now that his mind was finally able to relax.

\---

Magnus heard a door close and quiet steps coming closer, some rustling of bags, his bed squeaked.

He furrowed his brow and slowly peeled his heavy eyelids open. A familiar sight greeted him, Alec’s back. But he was dressed in a dark pullover this time. He sat on the edge of his bed and moved something Magnus didn’t see.

“Mmmmm…” Magnus murmured as he drifted more into consciousness and Alec turned around with his upper body.

“Oh, I am sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.” His voice was gentle and quiet. Magnus felt his hand cupping his cheek for a moment and stroking over his cheekbone with his thumb. Magnus inhaled sharply at the sudden touch but Alec didn’t seem startled about that. “How are you feeling?” He took his hand away again.

“I’m okay…ish. I guess.” He began and then tried to lift his body, leaning on his elbows before taking a sitting position, the movement was followed by a cringing pain that shot up his spine and into his neck. “I am not okay.” Magnus corrected himself. “Alec, I am sorry for whatever I did yesterday. I don’t remember what happened. I usually don’t get this drunk. Can you tell me what happened?”

Alec lifted his eyebrows, a little caught off guard. “You were, ehm, dancing, when I came into the bar.” He stuttered and Magnus bulged his eyes.

“Dancing? On the stage?” he pointed his finger and Alec nodded.

“With Simon.” Alec added and Magnus hid his face behind his palms, only peeking out between two fingers, to make him continue.

“You were half naked…” Magnus groaned loudly and closed the gap of his fingers.

“It wasn’t bad. You are an amazingly good dancer Magnus.” Magnus groaned again, not wanting to hear this at all.

“I brought you home before it would escalate.” Magnus let his hands drop to his lap.

“You mean it hadn’t already escalated? Did I least get some tips for the show?” Magnus tried with a lame joke and Alec actually laughed at that, which made Magnus giggle too, his laughs were just really contagious.

“Here. I got you something.” Alec said, after leaning to his bags and then back to Magnus as he displayed the contents of his white plastic bags. He opened them to show what was inside and Magnus peeked inside curiously.

“We have pretzel sticks, marshmellows, dragees, gummy bears, gum, muffins, chips, coca cola and some juice.” he explained and then looked to Magnus a little unsure, seeing the confused warlock. “This is the usual stuff Izzy craves when she has a hangover, so I bought them for the both of you.” 

Magnus craned his neck some more and eyed the stuff he never saw before. “I don’t know what that is.” Magnus voice broke and he coughed a little. He wore a loose black muscle shirt and grey sweatpants, the covers pooled around his hips. Magnus looked completely vulnerable and young; Alec noticed. Without his make up, jewerelly and usual outfits. Of course he has seen him like that before, but there was something else in him. He was beautiful, as always. There was no way Magnus could ever look anything but the most beautiful.

Magnus returned his look for a moment, feeling a bit insecure about himself, he knew he must look like shit at the moment. He let his eyes go down on Alec for a moment, besides the pullover he wore sweatpants as well and to Magnus surprise slippers. He was off duty it seemed.

Magnus reached inside the bag and pulled out a package of little bright coloured sticks. ‘Dragees’ it read. He shrugged and gave them a chance, he ripped the bag, pulling a few out and shovelled them into his mouth.

“Mmmmmm okay…mmmm yes.” He chewed roughly, those little buggers were pretty hard and he felt the sticky texture stuck to his teeth. But they were very tasty and fruity. “I like those.” Alec nodded happily.

“I hoped there was something you like. It’s all for you so, dive in.” Alec pushed the bags into Magnus hands who took them gladly and looked at everything that was inside, not without confusion. That was some weird stuff.

“Thank you, Alec. That is very kind of you.” Alec’s lopsided smile grew a bit more and he nodded again. “I will never drink again.” Magnus admitted with seriousness in his voice and Alec snorted loudly. Hey, rude. Well, both knew it was a lie. Alec pushed himself up and Magnus realised he was leaving; he quickly grabbed his wrist to make him stop. “Stay.” His voice was breathy and quiet.

Alec looked down to his wrist and then back to him. “I mean, if you want. We could eat together. Watch some netflix?” Magnus didn’t even know what this meant but he heard Simon say it to Izzy on the phone the other day. It must be something the people here watched. He was very new to the concept of ‘tv’ still.

“You know Netflix?” he lowered himself back on the bed with a surprised laugh and pushed some of the food away to make himself more comfortable, one leg below his body.

“Do you?” Counter questions were always the right way to go.

“Yes, but I never use it, I know Jace’s username and password though. I cold log us in.” Magnus nodded and realised he didn’t understand a word.

Alec pulled out his phone and typed something, while Magnus pushed himself back a little to rest against the padded headboard. He shoved some more dragees into his mouth and hummed happily. Alec came a bit closer and sat beside him, he put the phone between them on their thighs that pressed together.

Magnus was enveloped in Alec’s scent that had come with his movement and it made him let out a small gasp. He really loved his smell. And his voice. And he was so caring, no one had ever done such a thing for Magnus before. He felt his muscles tingle below the skin of his thigh were Alec pressed against him. He was pretty close.

A movie began to play and Magnus quickly realised that he didn’t understand anything of this at all, they were dressed in odd costumes, some had magical powers. He enjoyed the way Alec would chuckle every other minute though, which made him enjoy the movie as well. He shifted his eyes aside; glad he was Asian and it was nearly impossible for Alec to see.

He watched Alec’s chest move with every drawn in breath and how his belly bulged a little from the way he sat. His hands lay in his lap and he played with his fingers absentmindedly. And then there was Alec’s crotch. Magnus tried to overlook the region, but well. His eyes stuck there for a minute or two. He didn’t even know why. He then looked at his legs there were stretched out and crossed, he had very long legs. They didn’t seem to end at all. His feet wiggled in the air happily, the slippers were off.

Magnus didn’t notice how much his heartbeat was yet again increasing it’s speed and his breath got jerky. Why was he always so nervous around Alec lately, it really was a riddle to him. He also didn’t notice how Alec stole a glance everytime the warlock looked towards the movie.

Another wave of pain shot in his neck and back of his head and he lifted his hand to rub it roughly while grimacing. He tilted his head aside which resulted in a loud crack and Alec twitched beside him and then stared at Magnus with wide eyes.

“I’m sorry.” Magnus apologized. “My muscles are pretty tight and the hangover is getting the best of me.”

“I could give you a massage.” Alec offered a bit cautiously, while looking down at the phone.

Magnus lips parted instantly and a slight smile spread on them. A massage? He had never received a massage. He had given some to his ex-girlfriend who had loved it quite a lot. He had never dared to ask for one in return to not be a burden, but he had always wanted to know what it feels like. But could he really accept the offer? Alec wasn’t here to massage him, he had already brought him food and was watching a movie with him, keeping him company. That was just too much to ask.

Alec seemed to see the confusion and mixed emotions in Magnus eyes because he spoke again. “I don’t mind it, really.” he tried to sound casual even though he was really nervous.

Magnus thought about it for a bit longer before shrugging. “Yeah, I’d like that.” Alec beamed and nearly jumped off the bed, putting his phone aside and grabbing the bags to put them aside on the nightstand. Okay, that guy was really into massages, he didn’t feel so bad about accepting the offer anymore.

“Stay there, I will be right back.” Alec disappeared in the bathroom. Magnus looked around himself a little unsure. Was he supposed to lay down now? Or sit? Why did he accept that? Was this a good idea? The thought of Alec’s hands on his shoulders made him shiver.

Alec returned only a second later, holding a white bottle in his hands. “Well, ehm. Take off your shirt.” Alec ordered kindly and walked closer, waiting for Magnus to move.

Take off the shirt? Magnus narrowed his eyes. He had always massaged Charlotte completely dressed as it was custom. Were they talking about two different things here? What exactly did a massage mean in this dimension? “My shirt?” He asked a bit irritated.

Alec furrowed his brow and looked just as confused as Magnus. “Yes, your shirt. Y-You can keep it on if you like. I mean, it’s just better without. For the skin. And the muscles.” Alec stuttered and Magnus then understood. Okay, they were still talking about the same thing, they were just a bit more open here, he had already noticed so much.

He lifted his hands to his back and pulled the shirt over his head in one swift movement before throwing it into the darkness and then turned around, sitting with his back to Alec, his legs crossed.

He felt the bed dip behind him and then Alec’s long legs that embraced him lazily. “I’ll use lotion if that’s okay. It feels better.” Magnus nodded, because he didn’t know if he could form a coherent sentence at this point. Alec wasn’t sitting very close; they had no contact but the thought of his crotch right behind him still made him shift nervously.

He heard some rubbing, smacking noises and was about to look over his shoulder to see what’s happening as a pair of warm big hands pressed against his shoulder blades. His hands slid up to his shoulders and the fingers dug into his tensed muscles; he rubbed them rhythmically with his fingers and thumbs in lazy circles. Magnus eyes rolled back into his head as he melted into the touch. He felt a warmth spread all over his upper body and into his stomach. A rush of goosebumps followed that spread all over his body and made his hair stand up, on his arms and legs.

Oh, this felt good. This was so good. He pressed his lips into a thin line to not let out an embarrassing sound at this. Alec’s hands went back down, his thumbs pressing against the strings of muscles near his spine and then he spread the fingers at the middle, sliding his hands to Magnus sides with pressure. Where they rested for a second before they went up his body once more and circled around his whole back. Magnus felt his jaw go slack; he dipped his head back a little as his whole body relaxed under the touch. He hummed softly; he couldn’t help it.

Alec’s hands felt amazing. The lotion felt amazing. It was sticky and warm and smelled sweat. He had to concentrate a little to not fall back into Alec’s arms or onto the bed. His body and mind were still sleepy and hungover, the more he relaxed under Alec’s fingers, the more his body just wanted to rest. He twitched for a second, as he lost his balance and sat up straight again.

“You can lie down.” Alec’s voice was nothing more than a soft whisper, he noticed Magnus was swaying slightly and was most likely a bit sleepy. Magnus obliged instantly, without thinking about it and crawled forward to lower himself onto his belly. He crossed his arms below his head on the pillows and rested his left cheek on them. He stretched out his legs and then felt a heavy weight on his upper legs as Alec sat down on them.

Okay, he hadn’t expected that. But well, where was he supposed to go? He was quite heavy, but not too much, it was okay to handle, he had strong legs. Magnus heard the bottle pop and then another smearing noises before Alec’s hands pressed on his back once more, even warmer than before.

He slid his hands up his back to his shoulders, massaging them once more a bit roughly which ached quite a lot and then let his fingertips rush down his spine like feathers. They rested in the hollow of his back for a bit, before he felt knuckles massaging that exact spot. Magnus clenched his jaw to not let the moan escape that had wanted to tumble out. Alec was so good at this it was ridiculous. He seemed to know exactly what Magnus liked, it felt like he was made to do this.

The lower the knuckles went on his back, the more he felt the heat increase in his body and rush to his groin. Magnus shot his eyes open as he felt the familiar throb in his cock as it hardened in his pants. He swallowed hard and looked down, desperately, hoping Alec wouldn’t see, but of course how could he, he sat on top of him. Alec pressed his hands flat against his skin again and pushed them upwards while leaning on Magnus body slightly, pressing his growing cock into the mattress with the movement. Magnus couldn’t help but growl from deep within his lungs. He coughed awkwardly to cover it up and then hid his face in his elbows.

He noticed how Alec stopped for a second and wondered if he had noticed, but then he continued, a bit stronger than before. He was moving his whole body, leaning forth and back on him as he rubbed his hands over his skin. Magnus felt like his heart was about to burst out of his chest, it was just a little much. The sensation of his hands, his arousal, Alec’s weight and warmth.

He felt his cock being rubbed against the mattress, the foreskin gently enveloping his head and retreating again in a slow rhythm causing a tingling sensation to spread in his whole dick. The sheets were getting stickier by the second as his precum leaked out of his reddened slit.

Okay he had to think, quick, before this escalated. He was pretty sure were this was going to end otherwise. He tensed up and tried his best to come up with an idea in his foggy mind.

“Shhhh relax.” Alec’s soft voice washed over him like butter. He was trying to solve a problem here okay; it was pretty hard to relax. He clenched his fingers into the pillow below him roughly to ground himself and get his head straight. Think Magnus, think…

His mind went black, all thoughts flying out of the window as he felt Alec thrust against him in a circling movement, so light that he didn’t know if he did it on purpose or not, but hard enough to increase the friction. Alec’s hands pressed against his shoulders, it felt like he was leaning on him, his fingertips pressing into his skin. He heard Alec’s breathing pick up.

And if that wasn’t enough, he could now feel his unmistakable erection slide between his ass cheeks with each movement, it felt hard and heavy. Magnus breathed hard and jerky as all the sensation quickly gathered itself in the base of his cock, his balls tightened and he was involuntarily pushed to the edge of his orgasm.

“Alec, I’m…” he stuttered into the gap of his bent arms as he felt waves of cum spurt out of his cock before his orgasm rolled over his body causing his muscles to spasm hard. He let out an embarrassing loud groan as his eyes rolled into the back of his head. It came so fast, he had no chance to stop it anymore, the feeling of Alec’s cock pressing against him was just too much. His mind went completely numb for a few seconds, leaving him in a state of pure bliss, before he came back to reality realising with horror, Alec had stopped moving.

Shame flooded his whole body from tip to toe. Alec noticed. He just had an orgasm by another guy. And he saw. He heard. He felt. Okay, maybe he could say he had a stroke? Was that possible? How far was the window away, was he able to run and jump without giving Alec a chance to say a word? Maybe he could just keep still and pretend he fainted. Magnus wasn’t moving an inch and had his eyes wide open, still hidden from sight.

It was not like he couldn’t have stopped it at any time. He could have told Alec to stop, he could have just got up from under him. But he didn’t. He didn’t want to. It just felt too good and his body was craving the release. He realised the thought of Alec doing this to him and stroking all over his body, making him feel good and being aroused himself played a big role in this too. He wasn’t one to just cum like a teenager when there was some friction, okay he just did. But to his defence he had never felt something like this before, nobody had ever casually decided to sit on him and rub against him to get him off, people don’t do that where he came from. It was just really good.

He felt the weight leave his thighs and then heard the bathroom door open and close. He sighed loudly and realised just then that he had held his breath. He lifted himself from the bed to lean on one elbow, before he heard the bathroom door open and close again and Alec’s steps. He saw as Alec put a small, slightly wet cloth beside him. Oh god, could the bed just swallow him please.

“I’m sorry.” He heard Alec mumble behind him. “I didn’t mean to.” He actually sounded regretful.

Magnus breathed for a few seconds or minutes and tried to collect himself. Okay, there were 2 ways to react now. Say nothing and make this even more embarrassing or man up and act like it was no big deal. He coughed the frog in his throat away and then turned over, taking the cloth.

“It’s nothing Alec. I guess it’s just been a while. I should apologize.” Magnus pushed the cloth into his pants as elegantly as possible, feeling awkward and washed himself. He managed to sound calm, but couldn’t look him in the eyes. There was only so much he could do.

“Thank you for…the massage. It was good. Your hands are quite magical.” Magnus realised he needed to stop talking now. “I’m tired, good night Alec.” He threw the cloth down to his long forgotten shirt and then curled himself into a ball under the thick duvet to prevent Alec from seeing his flushed face. He snapped his fingers quietly to make the stain on his pants go away.

He really had to get away from this situation and he couldn’t think of anything else, but also, he felt really exhausted. He knew he probably wasn’t very polite at the moment but really, he just couldn’t face him right now. He didn’t want to know what Alec was thinking, didn’t want to hear about how pitiful it was to cum into his pants like that when he was supposed to be an experienced old warlock, didn’t want to hear Alec’s apologies. He just wanted to hide.

Alec realised he clearly overstepped there; he saw how Magnus was avoiding his eyes. He knew him better than anyone and it had obviously embarrassed him even if he tried to sound nonchalant, this wasn’t Alec’s intention, but what was his intention? He couldn’t deny that he had realised Magnus arousal, he couldn’t deny he heard his whimpers and the tension of his body and he might have moved a bit rougher than needed.

He had given Magnus a few massages in the past, they often got kind of dirty but Magnus never had an orgasm at it before. So, he really didn’t expect it to happen now. He heard him mumble the words and felt the tremble below his hands, he realised what was happening and stopped his thrusts immediately but Magnus was already over the edge.

He felt guilty. He should have stopped earlier, he should have gone easier on him, he shouldn’t have started it. But then again, Magnus could have stopped it too, but he didn’t. Maybe he had enjoyed it just as much as Alec? Maybe…?

He rubbed his neck, feeling a bit out of place, before walking to his rug and lowering himself, he stole one of Magnus pillows that he didn’t need and tossed himself on it. He really had to talk to Magnus about this. But he knew there was no chance to get Magnus to talk now. He needed a moment to himself. He bit his cheeks on the inside, wishing those memories away that kept playing in his head. How he had missed this, being close to him, feeling his skin, hearing his soft noises, feeling him twitch between his thighs. He still thought about how to talk about this as his he finally drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you all still with me? Everybody all right? 😂 I hope you enjoyed this little intimate moment and everything around it 😏 Magnus can't deny his feelings for a certain shadowhunter anymore I suppose, yet he is still too oblivious to realise it. His body isn't though 😎 Thanks for all the comments and kudos on the last chapter! I enjoy them so much and answer all your thoughts and feedbacks. Much love! 😘


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I know you wouldn’t hurt me.” Alec said with determination.
> 
> Magnus didn’t know whether to feel impressed or annoyed by Alec’s courage. He picked the latter and let the blue ball of magic appear back on the fingertips of his free hand again. Holding it up with a spark in his eyes. “You sure about that?”
> 
> Alec eyed the ball for a moment, seeing it was blue and not red and he wasn’t meaning to harm him. Not that he ever thought he would. He then looked back deeply into his eyes, hoping to make him see he was being genuine. “I am sure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://ibb.co/m5LyHNB)

Magnus made his way to the cafeteria like every morning, he didn’t have to look where he was going, he knew the way and where everything was by now, he could even tell who was who in the mass of black shadowhunters and that clearly said a lot. He had spent so much time here already that it nearly felt like home to him. He hadn’t had a real home in a very long time and even though he missed Ragnor dearly, he couldn’t think of much more he missed. It wasn’t as colourful and loud and thrilling as this one. He couldn’t imagine himself being without his new friends, Clary, Izzy, Simon, Jace, Raphael and of course Alec.

He wondered if they would ever be able to get him back into his own dimension and right after wondered if he even wanted to go back. Of course, he missed his old life and his friends, the way it was but he had gotten so used to this life, it seemed way easier than his old one. There was internet, tv, the food was better, the clothing was pretty, the music was amazing! He sighed loudly as he sat down on his spot, one leg folded under him.

And besides any of that, he really missed Alec. He was on another business trip and has been for a few days. 3 to be exact, not that he would count them. They didn’t get to speak about what had happened and he didn’t know whether to feel glad or sad about that. Even the thought of the memory made him cringe, but then again, he felt like it was something that now stood between them and had to be addressed. But if he could avoid it for some time longer, he wouldn’t feel too bad about it. He didn’t want to hear Alec telling him how awkward it was, he already knew it was.

“Hey buddy, what’s up? You look thoughtful today.” Jace said, crashing down on his spot loudly and chewing on his toast with too much noise. Magnus shot him a grimace. Manners some? Even Jace and him have gotten along better the past days. Jace seemed to follow him around a lot lately, since Alec had left.

“Just thinking about a few things. Nothing important.” Magnus returned not wanting to share his thoughts. Not really in the mood to tell Jace how much he missed his brother. He could think of more pleasant topics. Jace took out his phone and typed a message before pushing it back into his pocket. Magnus eyed him suspiciously and sipped his coffee slowly.

“Alec ehm,” he began and hid himself behind his cup while talking. “Is he coming back soon?”

“Yeah, today actually.” His phone beeped again and he turned to look at it, typing once more with a look of frustration flashing his face.

“Today? Oh good, that’s good.” Magnus mumbled, taking another sip. Jace groaned loudly as his phone beeped once more.

“You two.” He murmured and answered the message.

Us two? Magnus put the coffee cup down and shrugged before looking over his shoulder to see Underhill watching him from his table, the blond guy quickly averted his eyes.

“Excuse me for a moment.” Magnus said and got up, Jace only nodded and waved him off, he was too occupied answering Alec’s inquiry’s about Magnus well-being and where he was and what he was doing, he had done nothing but follow Magnus around and report to Alec the past days and he was glad this would finally end. He hadn’t signed up for babysitting when becoming his Parabatai.

Magnus went for Underhill’s table and gestured for him to follow as he walked to the windows in the back of the cafeteria and stood there waiting. Andrew got up hesitantly and followed the warlock and gave him a forced smile.

“I wanted to talk to you. I am sorry for what happened the other day, I never apologized for Alec’s behaviour.” Andrew shook his head, visibly caught off guard by that.

“No, there is nothing to apologize for. I understand why he did it and it was my fault, really. I shouldn’t have…we talked about this and it’s all fine now.” Andrew was awfully tense for whatever reason, like he didn’t want to talk to Magnus right now or being seen with him.

“Why did he do it?” Magnus interest was sparked. If Underhill knew anything he had to tell and if he didn’t want to, Magnus would make him. Kindly.

“Well, he obviously thought I was flirting with you.” Magnus pressed his lips into a thin line before staring at him intensely.

“Were you?” Magnus direct response made him fidget nervously.

“No! Of course not. I would never.” Magnus furrowed his brow. Well, no need to get rude, he wasn’t that ugly. “I mean, you are pretty and all, but…” Okay, this conversation was spiralling out of control. “I am not and I will not.” He ended his stutter and wiped his sweaty hands on his thighs.

“Why would Alec react that way if you were flirting with me?” Magnus was too curious for his own good. Underhill paled lightly.

“Ehm, well he is just very protective I suppose.” Magnus blinked, taking the information in, but didn’t quite know what to make of it. He had noticed that Alec was protective, especially of him. He surely didn’t want a downworlder to be hurt while under his wings. That would cause a bad reputation for him.

“Thank you. I hope we are good?” Magnus asked petting Andrew’s shoulder and the other one grinned widely, a little relieved.

“Yes, we are good.” When Magnus turned around Jace stood right behind him, blocking the way, his arms crossed over his chest, a threatening look on his face. Andrew quickly retreated and rushed back to his table.

“You have butter on your chin.” Magnus walked past him; his head lifted up high. Jace quickly grabbed his own chin and wiped it wildly, realising it was dry. He rolled his eyes and huffed. Okay maybe they were not yet over the teasing phase.

\---

Alec was pushing the documents into his bag forcefully, nearly crushing them as he was getting ready to portal back to the Institute. He couldn’t be away from Magnus any second longer, it was just three days but he still clearly remembered what had happened the last time he had been away. It ended in a disaster. He hadn’t spoken to Magnus at all the past days, it wasn’t like he didn’t want to talk to him but he was just overly busy with his work and so tired in the evening, he had asked Jace to keep an eye on Magnus while he was gone and the other one reluctantly agreed and made a good job so far.

Of course, he could have texted him or called him, but he wanted to give Magnus some space after what had happened the last time they saw eachother.

He pressed his notebook bag against his business jacket firmly and waited for one of the officials to open the portal. He rushed through the second it opened and stepped into the Institute a moment later, gasping loudly as he was finally home again. It was weird how this place had become a home to him again, he realised he felt at home wherever Magnus was.

He rushed to his office, placing down his belongings and then changed himself into his usual attire, which was way more comfortable than his suit. He always kept a few fresh clothes in his office, for certain reasons.

Was it too eager if he would go to see Magnus right away? He sat down in his chair and nibbled on his lower lip, swaying the stool from one side to the other with his feet, his phone in hand. Well, he could ask him how he was and where, maybe. He opened the app and then stared at his name and last message.

The images of their night in his room swiftly made their way back into his head. The feeling of Magnus body below him, his warm and soft skin, his mumbled moans, the way he trembled beneath his touch and as he came. Alec closed his eyes relishing the memories. He hadn’t stopped thinking about this for one day. He had to admit it was constantly playing in his head, on loop.

He leant back in his chair and breathed slowly through his nose. He could feel him on his fingertips, he could smell his scent. Alec laid his hand down on his lower abdomen lazily, before sliding it down to his belt, he crawled his way inside his tight pants with his fingers and just reached the base of his already throbbing dick when the door busted open, he quickly swung his chair around and faced the window, he tried to get his hand out while groaning, but it was stuck on his wristwatch. He cursed quietly, panic rising in his chest.

“Alec, I’m done with this. Really. I am so glad you are back man and please don’t ever ask that of me again, if I have to hear one more of those K-Pop songs Magnus always listens to I will go murder someone.” He ranted to the back of the chair. “Alec! Would you look at me.”

“Just a moment!” Alec hissed through his teeth and tried to open his watch with his free hand.

“What are you doing?” Jace asked and then threw his hands up, shielding his eyes. “Oh god, don’t tell me you were jerking off.”

The watch finally snapped open and Alec pulled his hand out before turning around, placing his palms down on the table and looking at Jace. His cheeks flushed and eyes wide open. “Seriously?!” Jace added, having gotten his answer by Alec’s expression.

“Well, I am back now so you don’t have to continue, but Jace thank you so much for your help.” Alec changed the topic, speaking as calm and normal as possible while folding his hands together on the table. Jace expression showed pure disgust.

“Can’t you at least lock the door like anyone else?” Alec sighed as he realised, he wasn’t letting this go. Alec got up and walked to Jace, who twitched a step aside, almost jumping, trying to get away from him. “Don’t touch me with those!” Alec rolled his eyes before coming for Jace with grabby hands and Jace ran off faster than he had ever seen him run. Finally. Alec chuckled lightly and then decided to look through the reports of the past days and get some work done, his arousal long gone by now.

\---

Magnus stood inside the training room, a loose and sleeveless red shirt with a low cleavage hanging from his shoulders with black thin harem pants. His arms were stretched out to each side, his palms up and his eyes closed, before he elegantly swirled around himself, moving his arms along, he pushed them up like he was pushing an invisible weight before blue light erupted from his palms and swam down his whole body like a waterfall, crushing into the ground and flowing away in waves, it looked like some kind of water. It was a protection spell he had been eagerly learning for the past hours, his spell book laying open on one of the benches in front of him.

Once he would get the hang of it, the spell would work much quicker and only with a snap of his fingers. He was eager to learn it all and he really was a fast learner and always had been. He was still grateful for Clary to give him this book, it was his most precious belonging now and he always made sure it was safe when he left his room.

Alec entered the training room quietly and watched him from afar to not disturb the warlock. He let out a soft gasp to the view. His nerves instantly calming, all stress falling off his shoulders. He was finally back with Magnus and he was okay, all 4 limps still attached. Watching Magnus work with his magic had always been mesmerising to Alec, it was one of the things he enjoyed the most.

Magnus noticed the shadowhunter as soon as he had stepped inside, his senses were on overdrive when he did magic and he could hear every little crack, smell every little scent. He might have tensed his muscles a bit more to show off, nothing wrong about that right? He felt his heartbeat speed up, knowing Alec was watching him.

“Welcome back.” Magnus then greeted him without looking back. He heard Alec’s steps coming closer and then turned elegantly to look up at him. They stood slightly apart. There was something different about the shadowhunter. He looked different. Maybe it was just his memory playing tricks, he didn’t remember him being so…beautiful. Alec stared back at him, pale, dark shades below his eyes and messed up hair. The past days have been exhausting for him. But everything was forgotten the moment he looked into those dark and warm eyes of the man he loved.

“Thank you, I’m glad to be back.” They looked at eachother for a minute without speaking a word, it wasn’t uncomfortable though. Magnus didn’t realize his body was swaying from left to ride slightly while staring at Alec. He bit his cheek on the inside, trying to hide his emotions, the way relief washed over his body to see Alec again. He wanted to tell him that he had missed him.

“How was your trip?” Were the words that left his lips. Alec shrugged and Magnus watched every little move the man did with hawk eyes.

“Thrilling. As always.” His voice was sarcastic. It was not like those trips were boring, he actually enjoyed them because they always meant change, change for the better. It was Alec’s ultimate and most important desire to make the shadow world a better place for people like him and downworlders in particular. But this time…was different, he just couldn’t stop thinking about Magnus and what he was doing and how he was, he just wanted to get back to him, so he might have rushed things a bit. Shoved a few people around. Threw commands in harshly. Might have broken a few pens in a nervous habit. He put his arms behind his back to ground himself and enjoyed the way Magnus eyes shimmered, he looked hopeful and happy. Maybe he had missed him just as much?

Magnus realised this was the first time they saw eachother after Magnus little accident and instantly felt his face warm up at the thought. He had totally forgotten for a moment. Well, maybe it was better that way, otherwise he would have run away the moment he came in. He decided to play it down and behave like nothing had happened, that was probably the best choice. Alec didn’t seem to remember or think about it anyways and it should stay that way.

He saw how Alec looked towards his spell book and walked towards it with two long strides. His delighted expression changed into a frown. “Who gave this to you?” his voice was deep, the soft tone gone. Magnus turned to him and shrugged a bit confused.

“Clary gave it to me. It was a gift.” Alec pressed his jaws together firmly, he looked rather annoyed. “What is wrong?” Magnus inquired and walked closer. Alec shook his head without saying a word. 

What just happened? Was he angry? It looked like it. But why? Magnus realised he didn’t like that look on his face at all. It was his shadowhunter face, the face he did when something bad had happened, when he was thinking, concentrating on the task at hand.

“Nothing. It’s…” it’s a dangerous spell book meant for wise and old warlocks and not something to meddle with, he didn’t like the thought of Magnus ‘playing’ with it, what if something would happen. How did Clary even get it? Did she steal it from his loft? He was sure it was in Magnus office the last time he looked. That girl was made to annoy him, really. How can she be so naïve once again and hand him the book just like that?

Magnus saw Alec rolling his hands into fists and took a step forward to place his hand on the shadowhunter’s upper arm to calm him. “Are you okay?” Alec shrugged his hand off, completely in his own world right now and Magnus pulled his arm back startled. His eyes wandered over the shadowhunter and down to the ground as he felt rejection swell in his chest and take over his whole body. What did he do? What was wrong? Alec turned on his heel and marched to the door to search for Clary, leaving the speechless warlock behind.

\---

Magnus walked to Alec’s office door an hour later to see if he was inside, he really didn’t like the way he had ended their conversation and wanted to know if everything was all right between them. If he was the cause of his distress and if so why. He had needed some time to gather the courage to do so though.

He rose his hand to knock as he heard loud voices from inside. It wasn’t like him to listen in but, well…it was like him. He took a step closer and pressed his right ear against the wooden door, not feeling bad for listening one bit. If Alec wouldn’t talk to him, it wasn’t his fault.

“I am sorry Alec, I just thought it would make him happy. I didn’t think.” He could hear Clary’s frustrated voice. “No, you didn’t think Clary.” Alec’s deep voice was the next he heard. “You should think about what you do for once!” Alec scolded loudly and Magnus twitched to the growl. “Hey! That’s enough.” He heard a third voice, Jace. “No, don’t ‘enough’ me Jace. This is not the first time.” The discussion got heated quickly. “She wasn’t doing this on intention, she thought she was doing the right thing. Really, what harm can that book do, Magnus doesn’t know how to work those spells he is still young and weak.” Magnus felt a pang in his chest. “I will go talk to him Alec; I will tell him that they want it returned immediately.” Clary suggested hopefully.

“No, we can’t do that. He won’t let go of it; I know him. He would rather give his left arm than return that book.” Alec explained. “Then we will steal it from him.” Jace offered. “No, we won’t. He has it now and we will have to live with it. The only thing we can do is keep an eye on him.” Magnus felt his heartbeat pick up and his hands go sweaty. He didn’t know whether to feel hurt, angry or confused.

Why didn’t they want him to have the book? They behaved like he was a threat and going to harm them with his spells. Except for Jace who apparently thought he was too weak to do it at all. He didn’t know what annoyed him more. But he definitely knew that he never meant to cause such problems for Clary, she had been so nice towards him, receiving that spell book was one of the greatest things that had ever happened to him.

“No problem, I will just continue following him and reporting back to you when he does something suspicious. So, we can react quickly.” Magnus blinked wildly at the last statement. Follow him? Report? Continue? What? Magnus remembered Jace suspicious behaviour this morning at breakfast and the way he stood right next to him at the conversation with Underhill. It all clicked into place like a puzzle. Jace had been watching and following him, reporting to Alec.

He felt bile rise up his throat. He had thought they were his friends, that they trusted him. Maybe they just played it all along and feared the warlock secretly. He could imagine Jace being that way, but Alec? How could he do that…

Magnus pushed himself away from the door and held the doorknob in his hand for a moment, about to dart inside and throw a fit, but then stopped himself. He felt tears gather on the edges of his eyes and blinked them away rapidly, his mouth agape, trying to concentrate on his breathing. He let his hand slide down the door and then turned to walk back to his room.

He returned a few minutes later and reluctantly placed the spell book on the ground in front of the door. He never meant to cause Clary any trouble and she seemed like the only one being sincere with him. He had to return the book to her and make Alec forgive her. It was the least he could do. He brushed his fingers along the thick cover once more and then left before his emotions would overpower him.

“No, I don’t want you watching him anymore. There is no need, I am here now.” Alec slumped into his chair exhausted. Jace went to stand by his side and massaged his shoulders.

“Nothing will happen to him Alec, we will keep an eye on him. And after all he is a powerful warlock and four times as old as we, he knows how to handle himself and the spells. We should just have trust in him.” Jace soothed his Parabatai as he felt the fear rush through their bond. Alec nodded.

“I’m sorry Clary. I didn’t mean to yell at you.” He looked up at her with regret in his eyes.

“Don’t worry about it Alec, I know how hard it is for you. I am sorry for my mistake…s.” And she really was. Jace left and nodded for Clary to follow him, who quickly rushed to his side, they opened the door and then halted abruptly.

“Alec…” Clary’s voice was nothing more than a whisper. He perked up and went to them standing in the doorway. She stepped aside to reveal the spell book laying on the ground.

“Oh, no.” Alec breathed as all blood left his face.

\---

Magnus had locked himself in his room with a spell, to protect himself and the shadowhunters from himself, he snorted at the thought. Did they really think he was dangerous? That he would harm them? That he would make trouble because he was just incapable of using magic? He wouldn’t have believed it if he hadn’t heard it with his own ears. Just this morning he had thought about how much they meant to him after such a short amount of time and now that. It felt devastating.

A small blue ball of magic danced across his fingertips as he lay on his back on top of the duvet. He didn’t feel like being here, but what should he do, run off again and end up at Raphael’s once more like a sulking kid. No, there was nowhere to go, he could just stay in his room for a while and keep it locked.

A loud knock snapped him out of his thoughts. “Magnus? Are you in there?” The doorknob wiggled but the door wouldn’t open. It was Alec obviously. He really wasn’t in the mood to talk to him right now. Not after what had happened. He could stay wherever he wanted to be, anywhere but with him.

”Go away, Shadowhunter.” Magnus shouted unkindly.

It was quiet for a moment. “Let me in, please.” Alec’s tone softened a bit, he tried opening the door again but there was no use.

“It’s locked.” Magnus stated the obvious, while rolling his eyes. Didn’t he see and hear that he wanted to be alone?

“Can you unlock it? Magnus, I really have to talk to you.” Magnus pursed his lips and shook his head, continuing to play with his ball of magic.

“No can do.” Yes, he was being stubborn.

“Magnus. Please. I know you heard us.” Magnus made the ball disappear with a snap and tightened his jaw. He slithered off the bed reluctantly and made his way to the door. His fingers wrapped around the knob, waiting a few moments before opening it. He didn’t know why he was doing this; he didn’t feel like doing this but somehow his body was against him.

He looked up at the shadowhunter with no emotion and crossed his arms in front of his chest. “Talk.”

Alec visibly collected himself and gulped as he saw the mix of hurt and anger in Magnus eyes. He straightened his body. “I know what you heard might have come across wrong.” Alec began and Magnus rolled his eyes once more, not in the mood for any lame excuse.

He went to close the door again, but Alec held it open with his palm. “Magnus. Let me explain.” Magnus looked at the offending hand on his door and then back to him with fire in his eyes.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you. I might cut it off with a spell done wrong. I am not that good with magic you know.” Magnus felt like a bitchy little diva but he had every right to be. “So, if you will excuse me. I have more important things to do.” He tried to close the door once more, but the firm grip of Alec’s big palm wouldn’t allow it. He pressed against it more, nearly leaning his whole body against it but it wouldn’t move an inch. That guy must have activated his strength rune on the way, foul play.

“I know you wouldn’t hurt me.” Alec said with determination.

Magnus didn’t know whether to feel impressed or annoyed by Alec’s courage. He picked the latter and let the blue ball of magic appear back on the fingertips of his free hand again. Holding it up with a spark in his eyes. “You sure about that?”

Alec eyed the ball for a moment, seeing it was blue and not red and he wasn’t meaning to harm him. Not that he ever thought he would. He then looked back deeply into his eyes, hoping to make him see he was being genuine. “I am sure.”

Magnus wanted to throw the ball right into his beautiful face to prove him wrong but he couldn’t, he never would. He hated how Alec knew he couldn’t do that. How did the know him so well…he didn’t fear him at all. Which only confirmed the thought that Alec thought he was weak and not able to harm anyone. Magnus let go off the door and so did Alec. He walked a step aside to let the shadowhunter in, who did so immediately. Again, cursing himself for doing that. Why was he still listening to Alec, why was he letting him in?

“In the office, I wasn’t referring to you being a threat. I don’t want you being hurt by one of those spells.” Alec explained right away before Magnus would decide to throw him out again. Magnus closed the door behind him and turned to Alec.

“I can take care of myself Alec, I don’t know why I have to repeat myself. I am not weak, nor am I ‘too young’, I am in fact much older and wiser than any of you. I have worked spells you don’t even know about, done stuff you wouldn’t approve, endured awful things you can’t even begin to imagine. I am stronger than you think I am and it’s frustrating to be treated like a fragile child all the time.” The words poured out of the warlock like a waterfall, he let his guard down because he was just too annoyed and hurt to play it cool. He played with his fingers in front of stomach nervously, hating the fact he had just said all those things to Alec. It made him feel vulnerable.

Alec hadn’t expected him to answer so honestly and so much all together and needed a moment to process it. “I know that Magnus and I am sorry for behaving that way. I never meant to hurt you, I lo…” Alec swallowed and looked another way. “I care for you. As a human. And warlock. And man.” An almost invisible pink blush formed on his cheeks as he returned his eyes to Magnus.

“I care about you too.” Magnus didn’t mean to say those words. It was like something had taken over his lips and his whole body. But he didn’t regret saying them. It was true. He actually didn’t know he cared so much until he had said it. He liked having him around, he enjoyed his voice and laughter, he liked the way he smelled, his dishelved brown hair, his big, curious hazel eyes, his too long legs and fingers and the way he waved them around while speaking, before realising what he was doing and putting them behind his back to stop himself. The way he would watch him from aside thinking Magnus wouldn’t notice, but he noticed every time. The way he stood up for Magnus and protected him. Magnus felt his heartbeat increase and he drew in a shaky breath.

He liked Alec…more than friends.

His throat went dry instantly and he lowered his eyes to Alec’s collarbones to not look at him anymore. Those eyes just seemed to look right through his walls and see everything he felt right now and he wasn’t ready for Alec to see his feelings. His hands began sweating and he rubbed them against his thighs absentmindedly. He didn’t know what to do or what to say at the moment, his head was full of emotions he couldn’t quite understand or place. He had to think about what that meant for him.

He liked a guy. He wasn’t straight. He never really believed he was, he had always found men quite attractive but it was just infatuations, it wasn’t anything real. This was real. He liked Alec. A gay guy. Did he like him back? Was he into Magnus? Was that the reason he had behaved so oddly around him all the time? No, he had a boyfriend, or ex-boyfriend? He never fully explained that situation. Maybe he just got it all wrong and Alec was just a nice guy, being gay didn’t mean he was into every guy walking around.

Magnus head felt like exploding as all the thoughts rushed through his mind. He needed to be alone for a moment and get his head straight…well.

“Thank you for explaining, Alec. I now know you didn’t mean it.” He said in a calm tone and hoped he would take the cue and leave, but Alec didn’t move an inch. Magnus groaned internally and then pushed his hands against Alec’s wide chest, ushering the shadowhunter out of his room without mercy. He couldn’t quite understand Alec’s mumbled words as he was being thrown out, he was too much in his own thoughts, he closed the door behind him and leant against it with his back.

Well, fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this bumpy ride of emotions. It was rather angsty but also had it's beautiful moments. I wanted to cut it after the listening in part first but I hate cliffhangers myself so had mercy on you 😁 Soooooooooo Magnus likes Alec hm? Hmmm??? That is brand new information! I didn't see that one coming, what about you? Took him long enough 😂 I could watch them being head over heels for the other for hours 😍 I wonder how Magnus will deal with this new information, do you suspect him to act on it or hide? We'll see. Also Alec, keep your hands out of your pants for once will you, I know it's hard 😎 Thanks for all the comments and kudos, you guys are awesome!


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I haven’t seen you around today.” Alec’s voice was hesitant and had a little tremble in it.
> 
> What should he answer to that? Well, ‘I was in my room avoiding you so I am not blinded by that sheer beauty of you’ didn’t roll off the tongue so nicely.
> 
> “Oh, I have been doing things. In my room.” Magnus saw Alec quirk one eyebrow while narrowing his eye in a way only Alec could do and Magnus immediately realised his mistake. Oh wow, how did he always manage to make things awkward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://ibb.co/vPQCDY8)

“Hey, we are going to the park to train, you want to come along?” Jace offered after knocking on Magnus door the next day and Magnus nearly fell off the chair to the sudden noise. Realising what the blond shadowhunter had just said he began to chuckle internally. Training, eh? With Jace, eh? It’s payback time baby. “I will be there.” Magnus shouted and then got up, rushing to his closet to get dressed into something more sporty.

He had spent the whole day avoiding Alec as good as possible, not because he didn’t want to see him, quite the opposite, but because he didn’t want to face his own feelings. He just couldn’t understand them properly yet. Well, he understood that he kind of was into men. He understood that he liked Alec. But what did that mean? Was he supposed to act on it? Tell him he liked him? Ask him out? Those thoughts seemed absurd to him. He had never before showed any kind of affection towards a male human being and didn’t even know how to go about it, even if he wanted to.

Would a man enjoy flowers? Or jewellery? Or do you just hit his chest and go ‘Hey dude, I’m into you. Wanna do stuff?’ Alec didn’t seem like the most romantic type to him, or talkative all together. Revealing his feelings would probably make Alec cringe and run off. And there was still the fact that he didn’t know how Alec felt about him at all. And what was that about his possible boyfriend? Urgh, it was frustrating to say the least. It gave him headaches.

Training with Jace would take his mind off for some time and also, he really wanted to kick that little, smug shadowhunter’s ass really bad. He had nothing but tease him since he got there and the comment about Magnus being weak still lingered in the back of Magnus. He would show him how weak he is.

He left his room, wearing what looked like black leggings, knee-long loose shorts above it, a sleeveless bright yellow shirt and a grey jacket above it, that was only partly closed. Sneakers on his feet completed the look. He had no jewellery on this time, nothing to distract him from his task.

He rushed down the stairs and corridors rather eager and nearly stumbled into Izzy at the doors with a loud uff. “There you are. I’ve been waiting for you.” She said kindly, her arms crossed over her chest. She looked serious and ready to kill, she always managed to look intimidating and sweet all the same. He definitely knew he wouldn’t want to anger her, ever. They left the Institute to head for the nearby park. Something with central she said. “You were waiting for me?” Magnus asked curiously trying to follow her quick steps. She slowed down and granted him a smile.

“Yes, the others are already there, I usually take a bit longer and well, they thought you would too so they made us go together.” She shrugged and Magnus furrowed his brow. Was he really taking so long to get dressed? As long as Izzy? He hadn’t noticed actually. But when the others knew he probably did. He actually hadn’t expected Izzy to come along or “others” to be there, he thought it was only Jace and him. He then recalled Jace words earlier, he said ‘they’ were going to train, of course, he had overheard that little fact. His mind was a little distracted today.

They heard groaning and shouting even before reaching the park. Izzy got rid of her jacket once they were there and placed it on some bench. Magnus let his eyes roam over the place. It was a very warm day even though it was almost autumn, everything shimmered in a bright green and yellow. The sun blinded his eyes and he lifted his hand to his brows to shield them. There was a wide space of green grass before him with big blooming trees, that hadn’t yet lost many of their leaves, on the other side. Skyscrapers surrounding the park. There were paths and benches everywhere, people with happy faces wandering by with their dogs and strollers; not noticing the shadowhunters doing their business in the middle of it. Magnus quickly activated his glamour too.

Clary and an Asian-looking girl he didn’t know were sparring on one side, Jace and Alec on the other, everyone wore their usual training outfits and most were already sweating. Alec…of course he would be here too. So much for avoiding him. But he couldn’t deny the way his heart did a little flop at the sight of him. He had missed him already he realised. They didn’t seem to take their training lightly; they were fully at it. Alec and Jace growled loudly and moved their body’s with force and determination but also with grace, a lot of grace. It looked more like a real fight than training.

Izzy slapped his shoulder for a moment to gesture him to follow and snap out of it and he did, walking behind her to the others.

Magnus met Alec’s eyes then and the shadowhunter instantly froze in his actions and was nearly hit by Jace’s swinging fist. He dodged it the last second. Magnus chuckled lightly and waved at him from afar. He lowered his hand again instantly as he realised how ridiculous that looked and turned back to Izzy. Alec stopped his training and walked towards them. “Hey? Where are you going?” Jace shouted behind him but Alec didn’t hear it, nor listen.

Magnus lowered his hand from his eyes and watched the way Alec marched closer, he never really strolled, he always had determination in his long steps. His arms hanging stiffly at his sides, one could say he had an awkward way of walking but one was not Magnus, Magnus enjoyed it immensely. Especially when he came towards him and not someone else. He was shortly mesmerised by the sway of his hips.

“Hey big bro, ready to get your ass beaten?” Izzy greeted her older brother with a smirk. She grabbed his hand and pulled him the other direction before he could even reach Magnus, Alec had to follow but was visibly irritated, he hadn’t actually aimed for Izzy but Magnus, but there was no resisting his sister when she wanted something. And maybe she did this on purpose too. Magnus followed them with his eyes, a little gasp escaping his lips. So close and yet so far. He couldn’t even say hi.

His eyes landed on Jace standing on the other side, slamming his own fist into his hand with a challenging grin that was meant for Magnus. Magnus returned the grin just as wide, accepting the challenge and sauntered towards the shadowhunter.

“In for another round Nephilim?” Magnus shouted lifting and stretching his arms to the sides in an offering and welcoming gesture.

“You bet.” Jace answered immediately and got into position. Both wanted this. Needed this. The fighting pit was opened.

Alec actually saw them too late and had no other chance than to watch, but he couldn’t help being tense. He clearly remembered the last time he found them “training” and how it had ended for Magnus. At least there were no knives or daggers involved this time. Izzy pat his shoulder lightly, seeing what he was watching and understanding him right away. “Come on Alec, focus on me.” She tried to distract him. He nodded and walked with her, his eyes darting back to the two men currently circling each other like wild animals.

Jace jumped from one leg to the other, tilting his head to each side along with it making it crack loudly. He rushed forward and rammed his fist into Magnus waiting palm, both grinned again, knowing this was going to be fun. They parted with a jump, before going at it again. They fought with an unnatural speed and intensity, jumping, dodging, pushing, kicking and boxing into eachother. Both panted heavily, sweat coming out of every pore after a few minutes. It was like a fierce dance. Without any weapons they were equally strong. The pain didn’t seem to bother either of them. Either of them received a few hits and kicks but it just fuelled them on even more.

Magnus could finally get rid of all the tension in his body, the struggles, fears and worries leaving his mind one after the other until his mind was completely blank. He only concentrated on Jace every move, saw every muscle twitching, every pant and shout the shadowhunter made, he felt every hit and the pain only eased him more. Jace was pretty strong and it actually hurt a lot but it felt good all the same. He knew he had the same effect on Jace, he was equally strong and he could see the same emotions in the Shadowhunters eyes. The look of pure bliss. They enjoyed this, got lost in it. It maybe wasn’t the healthiest way to let off some steam, but they were men after all. It was the way both knew well.

Alec was watching from the other side of the park, not really concentrating on Izzy’s kicks, which earned him a hit or two. But he didn’t mind it much, he would gladly take all the kicks in the world if he could see Magnus in action and all sweaty shimmering in the sun in return. If that was what he had to endure to watch that sight he was happy to oblige. He couldn’t help but feel slight pride at watching Magnus fight so perfectly well and kicking Jace’s ass. He loved the sound of Jace screaming, he deserved it. That’s what he got for calling Magnus weak. He got another kick in the stomach then and crouched in on himself, holding his mid. “Ouch!” Izzy rolled her eyes. “Concentrate!”

Jace grabbed Magnus by his shirt on his side and twirled him around until he stumbled and fell, landing on the hard ground with a groan. “Are you giving up?” Jace gasped, his knee on Magnus stomach and his hands pinning Magnus arms to the ground above his head. He had his mouth agape and drops of sweat fell down his face. Magnus pulled his own knees up to his chest and kicked Jace into the stomach with force in one smooth movement, throwing the man off of him and into the grass. Jace hissed loudly as he rolled over the ground and held his stomach.

“Didn’t suspect that from a weak warlock, hm?” Magnus breathed and turned to look at Jace, who suddenly looked back at him with regret in his eyes, remembering Magnus had heard what he had said yesterday. Well, he deserved that one, Magnus thought and kept lying on the ground to catch his breath when the sunlight was suddenly blocked, a big shadow hovering over him.

He saw a hand reaching down to him and realised it was Alec immediately. Was it scary he could already distinguish his hands from others? He couldn’t really see him against the sun, he was all dark. A mischievous smile spread across Magnus lips as he took the hand and pulled him down without a warning, making the other one fall to his knees with a grunt.

Magnus jumped him and curled around his body smoothly like a sloth and turned them both over so he had him pinned against the ground without touching his body, only his arms. All happening within a matter of seconds leaving Alec no chance to act on the manhandling. “Got you!” Magnus laughed and kept pressing him down to not give him a chance to move, but he felt that Alec wasn’t giving much of resistance actually. He was still in fighting mode, his body tense and high alert, he wasn’t thinking straight. Magnus shadow prevented him from seeing Alec’s face properly. A loud shout escaped his lips when he was tackled from the side and slammed to the ground next to Alec by a running Jace. They rolled a few feet over the ground and then laughed chaotically. Completely in their own world.

“Boys!” Izzy’s intimidating voice shot across the field. She chuckled and shook her head at the toying shadowhunters and the warlock that clearly enjoyed the training a little too much. Nothing new so far.

“I won!” Jace triumphed as he rose again and stood above Magnus. Magnus kicked upwards and was stopped right in front of Jace groin by the shadowhunters hands. “HEY! Were you going to kick me in the balls?! Are you crazy dude?!” Jace pulled Magnus towards him by his foot with one rough motion, making his back painfully slide across the ground.

“I doubt there is much to kick Jace.” Magnus returned confidently, he heard Alec’s laugh beside him and Jace shot his parabatai a dangerous and almost desperate glare.

“Not you too! You are supposed to be on my side Alec. That is how you thank me for rescuing you?” Jace sounded partly amused and partly disappointed as Alec got up from the ground, shoulders still shaking.

“I am.” He gave Jace a look before pulling Magnus up to his feet in one swift move. “Mostly.” He winked at Jace, who rolled his eyes and ran a hand through his messy hair and then left the two, to go to the girls who sat on the grass, eating sandwiches and drinking water they had brought along.

Magnus looked up at Alec now, finally able to see him properly, no shadows or Izzy there block the view. Alec slid his eyes from Jace retreating back to Magnus and parted his lips as if he wanted to say something, then closed them again and smiled a bit lopsided. Sweat was glistening on his skin. His hair stuck to his forehead. There were little bruises below his eyebrow and on his cheek. Magnus felt his heartbeat increase yet again as he watched the beautiful man in front of him. He had to swallow to get the frog out of his throat. “Thank you.” Alec gave him a quick but affectionate nod.

“I haven’t seen you around today.” Alec’s voice was hesitant and had a little tremble in it.

What should he answer to that? Well, ‘I was in my room avoiding you so I am not blinded by that sheer beauty of you’ didn’t roll off the tongue so nicely.

“Oh, I have been doing things. In my room.” Magnus saw Alec quirk one eyebrow while narrowing his eye in a way only Alec could do and Magnus immediately realised his mistake. Oh wow, how did he always manage to make things awkward.

He didn’t even know how to get himself out of this mess and just let the statement stand like this while looking another way. Well, then…having Alec think he spent his time masturbating in his room was less frightening than actually telling him the truth to be honest.

Magnus walked towards the girls, hoping the topic would be over with and Alec followed on track. They got sandwiches and water bottles pressed into their hands once they reached the others and settled down on the grass.

Magnus took a huge gulp or two or three until the bottle was empty. He hadn’t realised how thirsty he was until now. He then munched on his sandwich until that was gone too. It was mayonnaise, salad, cucumber, ham and cheese and very tasty. And so much better than what they had at the Institute. Apparently, he was just as hungry.

Aline used the chance to stretch out her arm and offering Magnus her hand. “Hi, I’m Aline!” she said in a soft voice and a wide smile. He quickly took it, shaking it.

“Magnus.” She tilted her head.

“Nice to meet you Magnus!” Magnus instantly felt the urge to get to know her, maybe it was her kind smile, or the soft voice, or maybe it was her Asian features that drew him towards her. It wasn’t attraction even though she was really pretty but that kind of feeling you get when seeing someone interesting, wanting to get to know the other and establish a friendship.

“You too.” Magnus returned. Clary gave Aline a nod and exhaled deeply, like some tension was falling off of her. She had just explained the situation to her before he got there and just hoped she was playing along. She did perfectly.

Magnus definitely wanted another one of those sandwiches, he felt like starving and craned his neck to see where they were, there was one left and he stretched his arm to grab it when Jace quickly took it, shaking his head at Magnus before stuffing his face with it. Magnus literally whined at the loss and contemplated throwing some magic into his face to steal it. But he didn’t dare to, also he knew Jace wouldn’t share it if he asked. He sighed and watched them getting into some small talk with eachother, eating, drinking and enjoying themselves.

He looked around to see if there was anything else he could eat when his gaze met Alec to his left who was just about to bite into his still complete sandwich. Magnus felt his mouth go watery and he licked his lips absentmindedly. Jace might not share. But Alec would!

Magnus widened his eyes a little to make them bigger and pouted a little, expertly pushing his lower lip out, hoping it would affect Alec. But the shadowhunter shook his head firmly. Magnus sucked his lip back in and narrowed his eyes, which made Alec back off a little as he saw Magnus hungry stare, like a wild tiger eyeing his prey. He loved the man yes, but he also loved food. There were limits okay.

Magnus realised he was not giving in without a fight, he was easier to persuade than Jace though. He leant on his stretched out arms and went on all fours as he crawled closer to Alec like a cat, Alec backed off even more, a mixture of fear for his food and arousal cursing through his body. He quickly opened his mouth and stuffed it with the sandwich, taking quick bites off of it while sticking out his free arm and pressing his hand into Magnus face to keep him at distance.

“Magnus!” he scolded while laughing and tried to get away from the hungry warlock. Magnus bit Alec’s palm playfully who then hissed and pulled it back, before knowing what was happening, he lay on his back and had the warlock straddle him and hold the rest of his sandwich. He took a big bite and grinned down at Alec triumphantly.

Alec’s brain had stopped working the moment Magnus had settled on him and he didn’t move an inch, he would happily have Magnus steal all his food for the rest of their lives if it meant he could have Magnus sit on him, he realised. He was too perplexed to actually speak or do anything so he just lay there playing a bench for Magnus. He could feel the heat radiate off Magnus thighs and groin where they were connected. He loved his weight on him, it was familiar. Luckily, he sat on his lower abdomen and not on his crotch, because he knew he would have stabbed Magnus from below just now.

Once Magnus was finished with the sandwich, he noticed that it got rather quiet around them, he turned to see the others looking at him before they quickly turned to their conversation and chatted away. He shrugged and then turned his attention back to Alec who had an expression of bliss and horror on his face. It was a weird mixture. Alec wasn’t touching him or moving or speaking for the matter, he looked frozen like he didn’t dare to move or say something.

Just then Magnus realised what he was doing there. Like his mind had needed time to catch up with his actions. He was sitting on Alec’s body. Alec’s body. Alec…That all too familiar blush crawled up his head and his lips went slack. What was he doing? Why did he do this?

Every feeling he hadn’t noticed while he satisfied his need for food, came crushing down on him. The warmth of Alec’s body between his thighs and the way it moved with every drawn breath. He felt his firm muscles below his groin and his eyes staring right into his soul like daggers. It was too much. He felt like his heart was about to burst out of his chest, a twitch of his dick added onto his current horror. How could he get out of this situation smoothly without making it awkward? Well get up!

He just wanted to get up, when he felt shaky hands slide up his thighs tentatively. Leaving a trace of goosebumps below his fingers. They stopped at his hip and he felt his fingertips press down and hold him in place. Magnus head shot down to his hands instantly, his breath becoming rapid as his chest lifted and lowered itself visibly. He felt his mouth go dry within a second and gulped, making his adam’s apple bob. It actually hurt from how dry his throat was. He lifted his eyes slowly to look into Alec’s eyes who looked right back at him with wide eyes, like he didn’t know what he was doing, before his emotions changed and a nervous but yet reassuring smile spread on his lips.

Magnus wanted to look away but couldn’t pull his eyes off of Alec’s shimmering hazel ones. He had long and dark eyelashes surrounding them. They were really breathtaking. Alec’s smile calmed his nerves and he returned the smile shyly.

“Alec, will you come here for a moment.” The command in Izzy’s voice was audible even though she sounded calm. Alec turned to her and then gulped, visibly snapping out of it. He pushed Magnus gently who got the hint and got off him quickly. Alec got up from the ground and cleaned himself off the grass and went to Izzy, who stood with Jace, a few feet away from the group. When had they gotten up? Oh well.

Magnus got up too and rubbed the back of his neck and wondered what he should do now, he watched as the three siblings gathered in a little circle and had some kind of heated discussion. He couldn’t hear what they were saying but he could see the wild hand gestures the Lightwood siblings made.

Clary went to Magnus and hooked her elbow with him, pulling him away from the scene intentionally. “You fought well Magnus, really. I am surprised you are that good without magic! Where did you learn that?” She tried changing the topic, but actually she was curious.

“It’s self taught mostly. I-I had a lot of time.” He didn’t want to talk about his father’s part in this to her. He looked back over his shoulder to see the siblings still standing, arguing. Alec was turning and walking back and forth, yelling something, the veins on his neck showing from the effort, Izzy had her hands pressed into her sides and an angry expression on her face. Jace just stood in the middle, his arms crossed and looking from one to the other with worry. Alec then held his palm up at them and left them, storming off with stiff arms and legs and wide steps. And that was the end of the discussion. Magnus followed the angry shadowhunter with his eyes until he was out of sight.

What was that about? What had happened in that short amount of time? Everything was just fine and then suddenly hell broke loose. Was it because of him? It was fine before he came too close to Alec. Maybe they didn’t want him around him. Maybe because he was a warlock? A downworlder? Would they? No. Maybe because of that ominous boyfriend? Magnus nibbled on his lips and saw Clary waving her hand in front of his face. “Hello, earth to Magnus.” Magnus shook his head.

“Oh, sorry.” He said lamely and then followed her back to the Institute.

\---

[Magnus Bane – 6:08pm] Hey Alec, are you okay?

Magnus hit send and instantly began nibbling on his lower lip, he didn’t know why he was so nervous he was just texting him, but also, he really didn’t know if Alec wanted to speak to him at all, he seemed angry. He also had other friends and family to talk to of something bothered him. It was none of his business. But still he couldn’t forget about it, he just cared too much about him. Magnus eyed the message for a while as no answer came in and then searched for a way to delete it again, feeling stupid for having sent it at all.

[Alec Lightwood – 6:18pm] I guess I am. I don’t know. It’s difficult to explain. I am sorry I left like that.

[Magnus Bane – 6:20pm] Try me. I might be of help?

Magnus shifted on his big armchair near the door, his legs stretched out and leant back comfortably. He had already showered and dressed in something comfortable right after getting back into the Institute. He really didn’t like what had happened at all and also that he didn’t understand it. If he was the reason of his distress he would like to know. He thought about going to his office to talk to him but well, he didn’t want to disturb. Sending a message was easier and also Alec could return it whenever he wanted and had the time.

He tapped his finger against his phone and pouted as no answer came. Maybe he was being too forward again.

[Alec Lightwood – 6:25pm] I am sure you are, but it’s nothing you can help me with unfortunately.

[Magnus Bane – 6:27pm] I understand. If you ever change your mind about it, you know where to find me.

Magnus put his phone on his legs and let his head fall back against the chair and stared up at the ceiling. He heard his stomach growl and scratched it with a grimace. Those sandwiches really didn’t help with his hunger at all and the thought of going to the cafeteria for dinner wasn’t too appealing either. A thought struck him right then and he took his phone back in his hands.

[Magnus Bane – 6:35pm] Do you maybe want to grab something to eat?

[Alec Lightwood – 6:36pm] Sure! Sounds good, where do you want to go?

Magnus didn’t even have time to think about what he just wrote because Alec’s answer came immediately. Like he had been waiting for him to write. Which was a sweet thought. Magnus lips pulled upwards, before a frown replaced the smile. Yes, that was a good question. He definitely hasn’t thought this through. Where did he want to go? It was not like he knew any place in New York. He quickly opened the Internet to search for something and ended up on a page promising bigger penis length in seconds. He quickly closed the ads and internet all together with a groan.

[Alec Lightwood – 6:38pm] I’m sorry, I forgot. If you don’t mind, I will pick a place. Meet me at 7? Front doors.

Magnus eyed the time and then looked down on himself, an old shirt with a suspicious stain, loose pants and thick rainbow socks that were pulled up over the edges of the pants graced his body. Shit.

He jumped up instantly and wiggled himself out of his clothes as quick as possible, stumbling over his own feet while doing so. He only had 20 minutes to get ready for something that usually took him an hour at least. He threw his clothes across the room as he got rid of them, he thanked Lilith he had already showered. He quickly grabbed himself something. A long sleeved bright blue button down shirt, a belt made out of metal loops and black pants that fitted his legs perfectly but weren’t too tight. He swung a necklace around him and got into new socks and his boots. He put his rings back on his fingers and snapped his hair into place. At least that worked.

He went into the bathroom to brush his teeth, instantly wondering about the fact he was brushing his teeth…and then brushed them with even more dedication. He splashed some of his Sandalwood perfume on his outfit, realising it was maybe a little too much, he coughed loudly and waved his hands around to get the smell away. His eyes crossed the make up on the shelf and he bit his lower lip. Hm. No harm done. He grabbed his eyeliner and pulled his eye open, lining it with a shaky hand. He did the same with the other before looking at himself in the mirror.

“Holy shit.” It looked horrible. The lines were crooked and uneven. He darted back to his phone in the bedroom to look at the time. 6:50. Fuck! He ran back into the bathroom, cursing Indonesian swear words along the way, already sweating out of every pore. He wiped his eyes with a wet cloth and hissed loudly. Shit, that hurt. He paled as he saw himself in the mirror, his eyes reddened and swollen. He didn’t know whether to scream or cry. He felt like he could do both simultaneous just perfectly. Where was Izzy or Clary when you needed them? Okay, he can do this…!

He grabbed himself the make up and patted his eyes with the sponge-like thing until they looked normal again, then took the eyeline back in his hands, leant forward and bit his tongue while going for a second try. He really had no time to do a third.

Okay well, this had to do. He shrugged as he eyed the result, that looked far from perfect, but not as horrible as before. He went back to his phone. 7:01. He gasped and quickly looked around himself if he had everything, grabbed a jacket and took another look in the mirror and grimaced at his own reflection and then rushed out of the room and through the corridors, down the stairs like a mad man and slithered across the floor a few feet as his boots had landed on the slippery ground floor of the control center. He gathered himself and looked around if anybody saw but most were at work. He inhaled deeply to steady his breathing and exhaled slowly, trying not to look as if he had been running for the past 20 minutes. Magnus smelled his armpit for a moment and nodded to himself before smoothing out his jacket.

Why was he even doing this? Why was he so nervous? It’s not like this was a date or something. Was it? No. Guy friends can hang out like that. He was just going to have a meal with Alec. The very gay, tall, dark and handsome Alec. Right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now that escalated, always remember not to meddle with a hungry warlock 😁 Now, who do you think won that fight? I have a feeling this is not yet over. But really, Jace deserved every bit of it right? And is that a date? 😯 What do you think will happen? Where will they go? Thanks for all the kudos and comments ya'll! I appreciate your thoughts and feedback a lot! 😘


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Wow, you look…great!” Alec blurted out as he now saw the bright blue shirt that sparkled slightly. The necklaces and the silver belt fitted the whole ensemble perfectly. Also, was that make up on his face? He didn’t see that on their way as it was too dark. He really put some effort into his outfit and looks today which made Alec all fuzzy and warm.
> 
> “Thank you, you too look…ehm.” Both eyed Alec’s plain grey shirt and looked back up.
> 
> “I know, don’t…” he waved it off knowing he looked lame. Magnus had noticed that too late and had already begun his sentence though.
> 
> “It’s a very nice grey shirt.” Magnus tried to comfort him but Alec just shook his head with an embarrassed smile, before walking to the table next to the window.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://ibb.co/DYnDpLK)

Alec stood by the door, leaning against the wall with his shoulder and one leg casually folded over the other. He looked completely relaxed just the opposite of Magnus. He wore a thin black leather jacket and beige pants that showed off his muscled legs perfectly. He looked gorgeous. His hair was styled, at least it didn’t look as messy as before. He pushed himself off the wall and his phone inside his pants and put his arms behind his back as he watched Magnus come closer, who tried his most suave walk. His lips curled up into a warm smile.

“I am so sorry Alec. I-” Magnus said as he finally reached him, but was interrupted by Alec raising his hand.

“Don’t worry, I didn’t expect you to be so early actually.” Magnus frowned.

“Pardon? I’m 10 minutes late.” Alec visibly tried to hide his laugh. He hadn’t expected Magnus to make it so early, he thought he wouldn’t be here before 7:30 actually he was rather surprised by the speed.

Magnus finally got it and realised Alec was mocking him. “You shouldn’t be playing with me little shadowhunter.” Magnus quirked an eyebrow and Alec laughed even more. At least his nerves kind of calmed down at Alec’s behaviour, he didn’t feel as sweaty as before.

“Little? Look who’s talking.” Alec straightened himself and Magnus mouth went slack, he snapped his fingers and pushed his palm in Alec’s direction who grunted loudly as he was shifted aside and pressed against the wall behind him, though not forcefully. Magnus walked past him and out of the doors, his chin held up high. Idiot.

“Magnus!” he heard a muffled voice from inside the Institute and crossed his arms in front of his chest. He had to learn his lesson first. He lifted his hand and observed his nails nonchalantly, pursing his lips, before snapping his fingers once more. The doors opened and closed behind him.

“Thank you…” Magnus looked aside to see Alec’s flustered and slightly annoyed expression, he clearly hadn’t expected that. Magnus smirked all too proud.

“You better not do that again.” Alec’s voice was serious, but amused as he strolled down the stairs while looking over his shoulder up at Magnus who still stood at the top.

“Or what?” Magnus followed him down the stairs, not being able to hide the smirk in his voice. Two can play at this game.

“You might be powerful, but I can still throw you over my shoulder if I wanted to.” Magnus reached him, a huff of breath escaping his lips.

“Alec, please.” He laughed all too fake and turned away when Alec grabbed him around his slim waist, throwing him over his right shoulder without any effort. It happened to fast for Magnus to react, his chest bumped against Alec’s back, before he even realised what had happened. He grabbed his jacket and dug his fingers into the others sides forcefully and held on for dear life as Alec began walking away from the Institute, his world in his arms. For a moment, everything was just right, everything was just the way it was supposed to be. At least for Alec.

“Will you let me down?” Magnus asked after a few minutes had passed and he realised Alec wasn’t going to let go. He had to admit he kind of enjoyed the show off of pure strength Alec so kindly provided, he didn’t know why he found it so endearing. It was kind of hot. But still, his head began to throb from being upside down and knowing everyone walking by was greeted by his ass wasn’t the most pleasing thought.

“Say please.” Magnus kicked him in the stomach with his knee and Alec groaned loudly, dropping Magnus to the floor in front of him, who needed a second to get the blood out of his head.

“Please.” Magnus tilted his head and Alec held his mid, crouched down a little.

“It’s okay…I deserved that.” Alec’s voice was muffled. Magnus nodded in agreement. Alec lifted himself and inhaled deeply. The air was sharp and cold as summer slowly ended and the evenings got colder. The sun was already setting.

“Are you okay?” guilt crept up his chest, he was sure Alec was all right he could take a kick, he was a fierce Shadowhunter who fought demons for a living, but still, he needed to know that he didn’t hurt him.

Alec’s eyes then finally settled on Magnus. His deep brown eyes shining and reflecting the yellowish lamp lights that had begun to lighten up. All pain was suddenly gone as he watched the most beautiful thing in this universe. He noticed he was staring and coughed lightly to snap himself out of it.

“Yes, I’m good. So, uhm I thought we could go to this French restaurant, it’s not far from here, they have amazing seafood!” Alec nodded towards one street and Magnus got the hint and they began walking towards it, side by side.

“Alec, I noticed your siblings being very protective over you.” Magnus broke the silence after a few minutes. “Is it because of me?”

Alec was caught off guard, he hadn’t expected that at all, Magnus was too observant for his own good. “Of course not. No. Why would you think that?”

“Earlier, Isabelle seemed quite furious, just right after I had occupied you a little.” Magnus fidgeted with his hands, looking down at his own boots while walking as he remembered the moment, he had practically climbed Alec in front of his siblings. Not his proudest moment.

“That wasn’t because of you. It was because of me.” Alec answered, well it was not a complete lie. “My last relationship…” Alec began and had to collect himself first. “It ended…ehm, well. We kind of lost eachother.” Alec didn’t know how to explain Izzy’s behaviour and the situation and everything, he was too confused about it himself. Magnus saw the pain in his eyes, it was more than visible and hated the fact he caused it, but finally he was talking about that ‘boyfriend’ and that meant it was his chance to get answers.

He still didn’t know if Alec had a boyfriend still, it sounded like they broke up. They lost eachother he said, what did that mean? Whatever it meant, there was only one question lingering in the back of his mind, one very important one.

“Do you still love him?” he almost whispered and stared ahead, watching the people pass them by. He didn’t know if he wanted an answer to that at all. It made him all kinds of nervous.

Alec knew he shouldn’t be answering this and also the topic was too sensitive for him, not just because of his feelings but the fact that he didn’t want anything important to slip, that he got lost in the conversation and said things he shouldn’t. Magnus noticed his emotions and quickly realised he didn’t want to talk about this, which also answered his question partly. He felt disappointment overcome him for a moment and wished he hadn’t asked about it. Well.

“How was your last relationship?” Alec tried to change the subject. Also, he was curious about all of Magnus filthy little stories of the past he could now get to know. His Magnus was never the most talkative when it came to his past and it bothered Alec to no end, finally he could pull some dirty secrets out of him.

“I haven’t been in a relationship in a while. In fact, Charlotte was my last one.” Oh right, Alec thought he was a warlock whore. He forgot. He quickly roamed his mind to come up with something but all that left his lips was “I had flings.” Magnus waved his hand, gesturing wildly as he said the word.

“Tell me about your ‘flings’” He didn’t feel any bad for pressing, he wasn’t going to let this go so easily. Magnus swallowed thickly and felt the familiar blush creep up his chest. He needed more time to come up with such stories he wasn’t good at this.

“Well, there was this one guy.” He said lamely and felt his throat go dry. “And others.” Magnus looked aside and had to fight the urge to growl at his own awkwardness.

That was very vague, that was nothing at all actually. Alec didn’t feel as satisfied as he had hoped for. The young Magnus seemed to be just as secretive about his lovers than the old one, unfortunately.

“Oh, we are here.” Alec’s voice was joyful and Magnus then let out his long-held sigh, relieved he got away from this conversation.

Alec held the door open for Magnus, who observed the place from the outside, it was a small place with huge windows, black wooden bars and tiny round tables in the front. A few flower pots hanging from the top, it looked cosy from the outside. Warm yellow light and a comforting warmth greeted him as he walked inside, he immediately striped his jacket down his shoulders and looked around himself. Alec was right behind him and took the jacket from his hands before hanging both of their jackets on the rack.

Magnus wiped his slightly sweaty hands on the outer sides of his thighs as he realised that place didn’t really look like a ‘let’s grab something to eat’ place but rather a ‘oh fancy a dinner with me darling?’ place. He was glad he aimed for elegant clothes.

“Wow, you look…great!” Alec blurted out as he now saw the bright blue shirt that sparkled slightly. The necklaces and the silver belt fitted the whole ensemble perfectly. Also, was that make up on his face? He didn’t see that on their way as it was too dark. He really put some effort into his outfit and looks today which made Alec all fuzzy and warm.

“Thank you, you too look…ehm.” Both eyed Alec’s plain grey shirt and looked back up.

“I know, don’t…” he waved it off knowing he looked lame. Magnus had noticed that too late and had already begun his sentence though.

“It’s a very nice grey shirt.” Magnus tried to comfort him but Alec just shook his head with an embarrassed smile, before walking to the table next to the window.

“It’s reserved!” Magnus said, pointing to the small sign on the table for two.

“Yes, I know, I reserved it.” He said sniping the sign away and looking up at Magnus with a lopsided grin. Magnus melt on the spot. Alec pulled out Magnus chair before going for his own to sit down and then offered his palm to the other seat so Magnus would sit down. Who did so slowly, after snapping out of his infatuation. He only then realised what Alec had just said. He reserved a table for the two of them?

Magnus looked down at the posh looking tableware. It was blue and white, the silver fork and knife very elegantly curved. Even the glasses looked obscenely expensive. The white tablecloth looked silky and there was a candle in the middle of the table. He sat straight as a rod, his hands on the table and played with the tableware a bit awkwardly.

A mid 40 looking guy with black hair and a slim, neatly shaven face ignited the candle in the middle smoothly and handed them both the menus. “Bonsoir messieurs.” He nodded and left them again. Magnus let his eyes wander over the place, it wasn’t full and not loud, only light chatter was heard and the lights were dim and warm, his eyes landed back on the candle in the middle of their table and then on Alec who already roamed his menu eagerly and tipped his fingers against the side of the thick paper.

Magnus realised how that must look to others. They surely thought they were on a date. Magnus swallowed hard as he remembered Alec saying he had reserved the table, at a fancy, cosy French restaurant, there was a candle, he had picked him up, held open the door, took his jacket, he said he looked great and pulled out his chair for him. Now he was sure…more than sure.

This. Was. A. Date. He had a date with a guy. He had a date with a gay guy. A guy he liked a lot and that apparently liked him too? Otherwise he wouldn’t have done those things, right? You don’t do that for a friend. He must like him. Oh boy. Alec liked him.

Alec looked up from his menu seeing the frozen warlock. His eyes wide open. “Eh, are you okay?”

The waiter returned and eyed the men. “Have you decided yet?” he asked in a thick French accent and Alec nodded.

“Yes, I have, have you?” Magnus nodded, not able to say a word still. Alec went for the lobster and a French wine along with it. The waiter looked at Magnus curiously who held up two fingers, indicating him to make that two. He knew he might be rude to him, but really, he couldn’t speak at the moment he still had to process a few things. The waiter made a noise with his tongue and then took their menus before strolling off with a sway in his walk.

Magnus played with the tablecloth below the table again, rolling it between his fingers and pulling lightly. The waiter returned a second later with a little, round tray, he poured them both water and then popped open the bottle of wine, filling their glasses elegantly as well before placing the bottle on the side and leaving them once more.

“Do you like it here?” Magnus rose his eyes from the tablecloth to Alec, who looked a little tense as if he was preparing himself for a bad answer.

“It’s beautiful Alec. Really, how did you find this place?” Alec beamed, his tense shoulders falling and lifted himself to sit straight.

“I have been here a few times before. I like the atmosphere and as I said the food is amazing.” Right, Magnus forgot he had said that before. Magnus leant on his elbows and nodded as Alec proceeded to tell him a story about the restaurant which he couldn’t really follow. Alec’s face was covered in a soft and warm light that made his skin shine and his eyes sparkle. He followed the way his lips moved with every spoken word and how his eyes crinkled at his own story, he got completely lost in the sight for a moment.

How could that man be so beautiful? He looked like an angel in that light. It was like everytime he saw him he just got prettier. Even his nose was pretty. “Magnus?” Magnus shook his head lightly as he realised, he had drifted off, Alec held his glass of wine up and towards Magnus. Oh! Magnus quickly took his own and clicked their glasses together, before taking a sip, noticing Alec’s piercing stare while doing the same.

Magnus smiled, aiming for suave and felt the liquid dropping down his chin, he twitched and looked down on himself startled, a few drops of dark liquid on his shirt. “Fuck.” He swung his hand aside to get the wine away from himself and made it splatter over the perfectly white tablecloth on the other side with the movement. His eyes followed his hand as he felt the liquid running down his arm. “Oh god.” He heard Alec’s muffled laugh, who hid his face behind his palm.

The waiter came walking by, their food in his hands and placed it down while shooting Magnus a look. Magnus couldn’t look him in the eyes and just placed his glass down, before hiding them below the table once more. “A moment Sir, I will return immediately.” Magnus saw Alec’s shoulders shaking from his laugh and wanted to punch him. He went for kicking his shins and Alec lowered his face, trying to stop but it was difficult. Seeing Magnus so adorably flustered and awkward was just so entertaining to him, he never got to see that side of him and he enjoyed every little second of it, whenever he had one of his moments.

The waiter returned with a wet cloth and patted it over Magnus chest lightly. A bit startled by the touch, Magnus backed off and watched him clean him. Could this get any more embarrassing? He was ruining this. Alec peeked through his hand and saw Magnus red face as the waiter cleaned him off thoroughly.

The waiter proceeded to wet the stain on the tablecloth and then left, giving Magnus another judging look who groaned once he was gone. “Would you stop laughing at me?” Magnus felt humiliated enough already. Alec quickly collected himself fully and licked his lips.

“I can’t help it. You are adorable.” Alec’s eyes widened as he realised what he had said and Magnus rose his eyebrows to his hairline. Adorable? No one had ever called him adorable. Was that something good? Did he want to be adorable? He would prefer charming, hot, cool, dangerous. Alec thought he was adorable. He decided to let it slip and then observed his lobster, diving right in. Alec did the same.

They stretched their limbs and leant back against the chairs once they were done and completely satisfied. “That was by far the most amazing lobster I ever had.” Alec nodded.

“Right? I don’t know how they do it, maybe they whisper some French love words into their pots.” Magnus agreed.

“They obviously put a lot of love into it.” Magnus mused and then got lost in thoughts for a moment. “Alec, I think my phone is broken, if you have the time maybe you could have a look at it for me?” Alec furrowed his brow.

“What? Show me, I think I can fix it.” He offered his palm and waited for Magnus to put it into his hand and then pulled it to himself quickly, unlocking the phone.

“It’s the time, or more the year, something is off there.” Alec froze in his movement and then slowly drifted his eyes up at Magnus and back down, seeing the current year in huge letters. Magnus noticed the way he tensed up and then saw him smacking his lips a few times as if he didn’t know what to say.

“It’s not broken, it’s ehm, we have a different count of years in this dimension.” He stuttered and Magnus could see beads of sweat form on his forehead.

“Oh?” That was odd. He never heard of that before. Alec handed him the phone back and then waved for the waiter, to get out of this conversation quickly. The man rushed by quickly and Alec paid it all, Magnus tilted his head aside, observingly. He let the topic slip and then concentrated on the fact Alec paid for him. Nobody had ever done those things for him, treating him with so much respect and kindness. He was almost certain that Alec liked him too, he had to, he wouldn’t do those things otherwise right? He made it very obvious actually.

They got up and grabbed their jackets, it was already dark outside and also pretty cold, Magnus didn’t like it cold and he wasn’t much used to it either. Having spent most his life in Indonesia and Spain made him comfortable with warmth around his body, not cold wind. He could adjust some at his time in England, but it was clearly not enough. He had a higher body temperature than other’s by nature being a warlock and half demon, that added to the fact he got quickly cold. He shivered almost not visible as they strolled back the same way they had come.

“Are you cold?” Alec asked and already shrugged his jacket off his shoulders and put them around the warlock’s without waiting for an answer. Okay, Magnus shouldn’t be enjoying this so much. That jacket smelled like Alec and made him walk in a bubble of his scent. It was a bit too big and it still had lingering body warmth as well. He might have decided to steal the jacket. Maybe the shadowhunter wouldn’t notice.

They walked in silence mostly, but it was no awkward silence, it was never awkward. They went inside the Institute and up to their room, Magnus brushed his new jacket down his shoulders once they entered it and put it aside under some pillow, before putting his own above it. He eyed the chaos in his room for a second. Damn. Alec looked at the mess too as he walked through the doorway after him.

“I see you have been in quite a rush.” He chuckled and Magnus gave him a sideway glance, before turning to him with his full body. His hands playing with eachother in front of his own waist. Tension literally filled the room as they stood there motionless. It somehow felt different than before, he couldn’t tell why but being alone with Alec, in this room somehow now made him nervous. What was the protocol for this? What was the protocol for a ‘kind of date’ with a dude?

“Alec, I- this was great. I enjoyed it. The food was…I don’t even have words for that.” He rambled as Alec stepped into his personal space. “T-Thank you. It…” Magnus saw him lean down and tilt his head, before he felt a pair of warm lips press against his own eagerly and with pressure. Magnus head was pushed back and up a little and he felt like the whole world had stopped moving for a second and it was just the two of them. His arms fell down his sides and he felt Alec’s warm breath dance against his cheek, his nose against his skin and the softness of his lips, he felt his own tingle which spread like wildfire through his whole body and made him shiver. Alec pulled back slowly and their lips parted reluctantly, slightly glued to eachother like they didn’t want to part.

Magnus gasped quietly and opened his eyes, not knowing when he had closed them in the first place and felt his heart hammer against his chest loudly as he looked up into Alec’s bright hazel eyes, that seemed to search for something in Magnus’. He looked startled and was clearly out of breath. His lips looked red and slightly chapped.

Magnus realised he hadn’t kissed him back. He was just too surprised by the action and too overwhelmed by his own feelings, after all he had never kissed a man before and it felt completely different to anything he had ever felt before. His lips were surprisingly soft he didn’t know why but he had imagined men’s lips to be rough. They weren’t, not at all. Magnus saw how Alec’s expression changed into a mixture of fear and confusion, he looked lost.

Magnus rose his shaky and slightly sweaty hands to Alec’s cheeks and carefully cupped them to ground him, his fingertips brushing into Alec’s hair below his ears. Alec instantly calmed and his restless eyes settled on Magnus. He visibly melted into Magnus touch. Magnus parted his lips and felt them tremble, he wanted to kiss him, really kiss him.

He took a step closer and pulled Alec’s face down as he darted forward and stretched to reach his lips, their heads almost banged against eachother with the force behind it as Magnus eagerly swallowed his lips into his own, Alec’s lower lip being sucked into his mouth as he let it slide between his own lips, their saliva mixed audibly, he tasted heavenly, sweet, like wine and lobster.

Alec hummed and rose his eyebrows, he lifted his hands to place them on Magnus upper arms to hold him and most of all himself. Something in Magnus snapped and he felt the deep urge to devour those lips and the man belonging to them. He pushed his tongue forward and gasped as it touched Alec’s, it was hot and wet and played with his in a passionate dance before it licked up the upper side of Magnus mouth and lip. Magnus inhaled Alec’s scent and it drove him wild, he smelled so damn good. And he tasted so damn good.

Alec took a few steps backwards and Magnus lost his lips, he followed him, never leaving his grip on Alec’s cheeks and neck, holding on for dear life. Alec bumped against the bed with his kneecaps and Magnus wondered when they had turned around.

Magnus craned his neck to reach Alec’s lips again, who then slammed his face into Magnus again seeing the way he was seeking his lips. They gasped into eachothers mouths and heard eachothers heavy pants. Alec kissed down Magnus lower lip and bit it playfully earning a hiss from the warlock. Magnus felt Alec’s strong hands roam across his back and was pressed against Alec’s firm body a second later.

It was almost too much, his body was so warm, it felt like it was on fire. He felt Alec’s chest and stomach move with every drawn breath, which was rapidly. He felt his heart against his own. Both drumming wildly.

Alec again made his way down his chin and to his neck, one wet kiss after the other trailed down his heated skin, Magnus let his fingers slide into Alec’s hair and tilted his own head back to give Alec better access. He let out a scarily loud moan as Alec sucked on the hollow of his throat, before going for his jugular vein, licking and nibbling on his skin before sucking it again roughly leaving a mark instantly. A shiver ran down Magnus body and into his toes. His whole body twitched to the sensation and he brushed his hands down Alec’s neck and shoulders, gripped his shirt roughly to ground himself.

Alec’s hand reached forward and he placed it on his pecs, squeezing them slightly before it crawled down his abs, he hummed appreciatively as he did so. It tingled below his fingers as he reached his navel region, before it continued it’s way to his waistband. His fingers brushed over the tip of Magnus clothed erection and stroked it featherily light. Magnus gasped as the new sensation was added, he felt his hand moving down but hadn’t expected that at all, his cock twitched against his warm hand appreciatively.

He felt his breath getting jerky and pressed Alec against his body, who was still working his lips on the soft spot above his collarbone. His palm rubbed against the obviously wet spot on Magnus pants before going back up and sliding into his waistband skilfully.

Magnus shot his eyes open as he realised where Alec was heading. He backed off immediately and took a step backwards, leaving Alec who looked like he was slapped. “What is it? What’s wrong?” he asked hoarsely and searched the shocked warlock with his eyes. His voice was gentle, but his breathing was still rapid. Magnus struggled to gather a thought, he didn’t do it on purpose actually, he didn’t want it to end, but it was just too much at the moment.

The fact that he was painfully hard, his cock pushing against his pants forcefully didn’t help with the matter. He really needed to be touched more but...how could he tell Alec that he wanted this to stop here without hurting his feelings? Alec knew he was aroused, he saw it, he felt it, he wasn’t stupid. 

He couldn’t just tell him that he felt overwhelmed, because this was his first time kissing and touching a man. Or being touched by one. Even though he wanted it badly, he felt too ashamed to actually admit what was going on, he was too deep into it at this point. He could have told him at several occasions.

Alec suddenly twitched and grabbed his ringing phone, he cursed and took the call, but never left Magnus eyes with his own. “Yes. I-I will be right there. Give me a moment.” Alec pushed his phone back down and looked at Magnus regretfully, who was more than thankful for that sudden turn. It was not like he wanted Alec to leave, but now he didn’t need to answer his question and explain himself.

“I have to go.” Alec’s voice sounded strained, he was still out of breath and his cheeks flushed. “I’m sorry. It’s important.” Magnus nodded with a smile.

“I understand. Don’t worry.” Thank god.

Alec licked his dry lips and quirked them up into a smile which Magnus returned immediately and Alec then went to grab his jacket and opened the door, only to turn back once more, his lips parted to say something but then closed again. Magnus blinked up at him, that smile still playing on his lips. “Go!” Alec nodded.

“Yes.” And then left. Magnus sighed loudly as soon as the door closed behind Alec. What just happened? And damn it he took the jacket.

Magnus went to the bathroom to get a shower and change; the memory of the whole evening played in his head on loop. That kiss was just, he was still speechless about it. Did it always feel like that when kissing a man or was it so special because it was Alec? He quickly realised that the thought of kissing another man actually disgusted him, which answered his question. It felt so good because it was Alec. Those lips were just sinful, so warm and soft. He tasted better than anything he had ever tasted before, even his beloved pizza. Oh god, what would he taste like after eating pizza? Magnus shuddered at the thought.

He got rid of his clothes, necklaces and rings and wiped off his make-up and snapped the wax out of his hair and brushed his teeth.

He just couldn’t stop thinking about him and about that kiss. The way his hands felt on his body, his muscles pressed against his own, his quick heartbeat. He leant against the sink to eye himself in the mirror and brushed his fingertips along the mark Alec had left on his neck and hissed lightly, it hurt. God, that was hot. He had never gotten a hickey before and he felt absurdly proud.

His eyes then went down to his still leaking erection, that looked straight up at him expectantly, another pitiful drop of precum pouring out of it.

He wrapped his sweaty fingers around his shaft one by one and felt it throb to the touch. He closed his eyes and swallowed down the lump that had formed in his throat ages ago. He slid his hand up to the head, circled it with his palm and smeared his natural lube down his cock before starting a nice and slow rhythm. A shiver exploded in his body and made goosebumps spread across his skin. He dug his fingers into the sink, slightly leaning against it as his right hand worked on himself, from base to tip and back down. Quiet whines escaped his mouth to the sensation.

He quickened his pace as the images of the kiss returned to his memory, Alec’s soft and gentle lips against his own, on his skin, his throat. His fingers exploring his back, his chest, his stomach and the way he rubbed against his dick.

He concentrated his hand on the middle of his shaft and jerked the part roughly, a tingle spread in the base of his cock, his balls slowly made their way up and tightened. He licked his lips before they parted, he opened his eyes and stared at his own image in the mirror, seeing himself shake from the force of his own movements. He quickly closed them again to imagine it being Alec’s hand on himself.

A pressure built inside his abdomen instantly and his knees weakened, he tried to keep his rhythm but his muscles wouldn’t comply. He thrusted himself into his fist to keep it going and felt his cum dropping down his fingers before his orgasm hit him forcefully, his muscles contracted and he let out a loud groan that edged on a scream. His knees gave in and he crumbled to the ground, overwhelmed by the feeling of pure bliss. He still held the sink in his hand above his head and jerked himself with the other, cum spurting out of his cock and colouring the bathroom floor.

He needed a few minutes to gather himself and his breath as he came back to reality, before he got up and grabbed himself a cloth, wetted it and wiped the floor thoroughly. He didn’t need any evidence. He stepped inside the shower on shaky legs and took his time to clean himself. He changed into fresh boxers right after and went for his bed, he snuggled himself into the covers and felt extremely relaxed. He had definitely needed that. He wondered if it would feel the same if Alec would do it to him and felt his cheeks blush again at the thought. Well, he could have found out if he hadn’t stopped him. He was an idiot. A very exhausted idiot. He closed his eyes and drifted off in an instant with a certain shadowhunter on his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Noooooooooooow did you enjoy yourselves? It finally happened 😁 That was quite the eventful chapter and I hope you enjoyed it and their development. It must be a lot for Magnus, but it seems he is down for it. Let's see how far he is willing to go 🤔 Aren't they the cutest with eachother and sexiest, like really. Thank you for the comments and kudos on the last chapter! Please, continue to leave your feedback, I enjoy it immensly! 😘


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He swallowed roughly and wetted his dry lips to speak. “Yesterday. I-we…something happened yesterday.” He stuttered and really didn’t know if he should continue, but he felt the urge to talk about it and Izzy was here so, he made up his mind.
> 
> Izzy nodded eagerly to encourage him to continue. “What happened?” She looked seriously curious, like she really needed to hear some exciting news.
> 
> “Alec, he…” Magnus began as he felt his tongue stuck in his mouth, the words just wouldn’t come out for some reason. It was one thing doing things but talking about them was another whole world. It made it real. Too real.
> 
> “Alec what?” her voice turned concerned just as her eyes and she straightened herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://ibb.co/KV9ZmnF)
> 
> I've reached 10000 hits and I am so grateful for everyone of you reading along and leaving feedback! You guys are the best!

“Mmmmm…don’t…” Magnus murmured and nudged his head aside as he felt something wet against his lips. But it didn’t stop, it just got more intense and raspier. “Alec…” the words left his half sleeping body and he slowly awoke, opening his eyes to see two bright blue eyes stare him down. He let out a high shriek and shuffled back against the pillows to sit straight up as the cat jumped off him, startled by the scream. Magnus pressed his hand against his chest to calm himself as he watched the fluffy ball crawl its way back to Magnus curiously.

“Who are you?” he whispered as he finally got his breathing back to normal. The cat slid its side against Magnus stomach and wiggled its tail, before turning and bumping its head against him for attention. A little smile spread on his lips. He patted its head gently and the cat melted into the touch and meowed affectionately.

“How did you get in here?” He asked while stroking the soft fur from head to tail. He let his eyes roam around the room, the door was still closed and he was alone. How did that little fella get in? He crouched down to the cat and cupped its cheeks with his hands, crawling behind its ears while making embarrassingly high noises towards his new little friend. The cat pressed his nose against Magnus’ nose and licked once more.

He let go off it and snapped his fingers to have a bowl of milk appear next to the door and the cat instantly jumped off him to go feed and slurped away. It was a beautiful cat, white with a light grey back and head and it seemed very open minded towards strangers. It seemed kind of drawn to Magnus. Maybe it belonged to the Institute? Well, he wouldn’t complain to have a new little friend around, he actually liked cats a lot. They had their own minds and didn’t care what others thought or said, they just did their own thing and walked around like owning the place, taking what they need. It was a kind of attitude Magnus admired and wished he had himself.

When Magnus made his way down the corridors to the cafeteria he was nearly dancing, his body swinging with every step, he was absurdly cheerful that morning, though he didn’t need to question himself why.

First of all, he had kissed a man; a man he really liked a lot and he was going to see that very man again. The thought made him part nervous and part excited, he felt his belly tingle thinking about Alec and that was a feeling he hadn’t had for a very long time. Would they kiss again if they saw eachother? Or would they behave like nothing had happened? Was it okay to show this kind of affection for Alec? He was the Head of the Institute after all and needed respect. Also, was Magnus ready to openly show his affection for another man? What did it mean at all? Were they a thing now? No, it was just a kiss. Nothing more. Or was it?

His pace slowed down as his head filled with an awful amount of different emotions and thoughts, a slight panic rose in his chest, the cheerfulness retreated to make way for the well-known sweaty hands.

He grabbed his tray and usual fruits and went to the table, deciding to not think about it anymore. Izzy was the only one there. Her hair was up in a ponytail and she scrolled through her phone, oblivious to her surroundings. Magnus sat down, she looked up a bit startled but then pushed the phone away to greet him with a warm smile. “Good Morning!”

“Morning. I’ve just had the weirdest encounter!” His voice was light. “Tell me, do you have a cat in the Institute?” Izzy tilted her head aside and opened her mouth in confusion.

“No, we don’t, why?”

“One was just licking my lips when I awoke.” Izzy grimaced.

“Oh, that sounds…disgusting?” she offered. “What did it look like? Where did it come from?”

“I don’t know, it was just there. It’s grey and white with blue eyes. I didn’t look for the gender, I didn’t want to be rude on our first meeting.” He shrugged.

“Chairman Meow!” She gasped and then pressed her palm against her mouth as if she had said something she shouldn’t have.

“Chairman Meow?” He chuckled. “That is an odd name. I like it.” He blinked and looked around while thinking about the little fuzzy thing up in his room. “So, you do know it?” He narrowed his eyes and waited for her explanation.

“I’ve seen it around.” She pressed her lips into a thin line and then returned to her long-forgotten food. Hm. Okay.

Magnus bit the inside of his cheeks and then turned his attention away, humming a little. She rose one eyebrow at him and put her spoon down. “Spill it.” She leant forward onto her arms and grinned mischievously. She saw the way Magnus looked like he would burst any second, his cheeks were bright red and his fingers nervously drummed against the table.

He swallowed roughly and wetted his dry lips to speak. “Yesterday. I-we…something happened yesterday.” He stuttered and really didn’t know if he should continue, but he felt the urge to talk about it and Izzy was here so, he made up his mind.

Izzy nodded eagerly to encourage him to continue. “What happened?” She looked seriously curious, like she really needed to hear some exciting news.

“Alec, he…” Magnus began as he felt his tongue stuck in his mouth, the words just wouldn’t come out for some reason. It was one thing doing things but talking about them was another whole world. It made it real. Too real.

“Alec what?” her voice turned concerned just as her eyes and she straightened herself.

Oh shit. Izzy was his sister; how could he forget that? His mind really was somewhere else at the moment. He really shouldn’t talk to his sister about stuff like this, maybe he would be uncomfortable with her knowing? Or worse, she would get mad?

“What did he do?” She urged on while pressing her palms against the table. There was no way out of this now, he felt a little intimidated by her threatening big brown eyes that seemed to bore into him. Okay, just say it, what shall happen? Alec could defend himself; he was a big guy and he really needed to get this out of his system, talk about it.

“We kind of…ehm.” Damn. Sentences Magnus. Words, spill them.

“Oh god, you had sex!?” Magnus choke on his own saliva and coughed loud and chaotic. He inhaled deeply once he got it out and tried to meet her eyes as embarrassing as it was.

“No! No not that! We didn’t. Why would you think that?” He remembered Alec talking about his sexuality some time ago, thinking he was someone to slut around a lot. Right, they were told stories. Apparently, Izzy thought the same about him.

“You didn’t? Thank god. Good.” She exhaled relieved and Magnus didn’t know how to feel about her words. Didn’t she want Alec to get involved with Magnus? “Well, I know my brother.” She explained and the words piqued his interest, he narrowed his eyes at her.

“What does that mean? Is he someone to sleep around?” his voice trembled slightly without him wanting to. The question made him nervous, just as the possible answers. To think that Alec was someone to quickly get attached to guys and have his ways with them made him feel sick, he didn’t want to think that.

“No, not at all. He only has eyes for you.” She hissed as soon as the words left her lips and rolled her eyes. She let too much slip.

Magnus felt his heartbeat increase in his chest and a warm sensation run down his body. He only had eyes for him? Was that something he said to her? Or just something that was obvious? Did he really? Magnus tried to remember every little moment with Alec and how he had behaved around him. Well, if he did in fact only have eyes for him, he managed to hide it well, or Magnus was just too stupid to notice.

Magnus enjoyed the thought a bit too much. He felt like a little teenager that was smitten for the first time. It was a feeling he hadn’t have often in his life and it felt extremely good, comforting and thrilling all the same. To be honest he had only felt that way once, but it felt like a second first time with Alec, since he was a guy and he never had liked a guy before.

“So, what did you guys do then?” Her eyes were wide and she radiated a wave of tension towards him. He gulped as he realised, he had been daydreaming a bit, he returned her look.

“He took me out to eat.” Magnus stared her down, in a way to make her believe this was the only thing that had happened, she returned his stare and quirked her eyebrow. “What happened after that?” Magnus felt heat crawl up the back of his neck. She was good. Damn.

“Nothing happened after that. He brought me to my room.” His eyes didn’t blink and Izzy intensified her stare. A minute passed and she then gasped.

“Okay, fine. I will stop.” She relaxed herself and Magnus let out a shaky breath. He didn’t know why he suddenly decided not to tell her, he had felt her go all tense and had a feeling she wouldn’t approve of this much. Maybe he was wrong about it, but he would keep this to himself for now. He owed it to Alec.

“Do you maybe want to join us this weekend; we are going to the Pandemonium.”

“A what?” he questioned and Izzy waved her thin fingers nonchalantly.

“It’s a club. You will love it! Actually, we need to do a patrol there, but after we can have some fun. If you need advice on what to wear, go for black on black.” She hopped off her stool and off she was. 

Magnus nibbled on his lower lip and wondered where the others were, they must have already had their breakfasts. He got up and got rid of his tray, an apple in hand, he made his way through the corridors, peeking around every corner to see a tall and dark man, but Alec was nowhere to be found.

\---

He chewed on his apple as he heard loud groans coming from the training room. He opened the door a gap and shoved his head inside.

Alec and Jace, both sweating and panting, stood in the middle and fought with nothing but their bare hands. Alec dodged his hit and kicked him against the outer side of his thigh, the other one groaned and laughed right after, chatting with an evil grin on his lips. Magnus couldn’t understand them from afar and just watched like a creep. It looked really graceful, the way they moved their bodies and every limb. And even though it looked completely rough and like they wouldn’t hold back they never really managed to hurt the other truly, they seemed to hold back in some way without making it obvious or they were just so good at it.

The way Alec jumped and dug, dodged and kicked, hit and turned was just mesmerising. He wore a black muscle shirt that was tight on his body, showing off his defined muscles. The sweat was glistening on his rune covered skin, his hair stuck to his forehead and his mouth wide open, breathing heavily. He wore black kind of sweatpants, not too lose and soft black shoes that were bound around his ankles. Black tape enveloped his palms and knuckles. He was damn sexy. His dick twitched in agreement.

Jace grabbed Alec’s wrist and turned him around, pressing his arm against Alec’s back in a way that looked more than painful, Alec groaned loudly and Magnus felt a shimmer of magic on his fingertips, Alec quickly circled around himself and slipped out of Jace’s grip before giving him a roundhouse kick in the stomach. The magic subsided without Magnus actually realising it was there in the first place.

They quickly returned to their fight and he heard Alec groan and gasp with his movements. Loud filthy noises that echoed through the room with every hit. Magnus felt the familiar tingle in his groin as his pants began to feel a bit tight. He actually wasn’t able to take his eyes off of him, not for one second, he didn’t even know what Jace was wearing or if he was still there. He was so lost in the vision that was Alec Lightwood.

A loud thud pulled him out of his creepy stare and he looked down to see his apple bounce on the floor and into the room. The boys shot their heads towards the sound and stopped mid fight. Magnus met the four eyes on him, before slowly entering and walking after his apple, he managed to kick it involuntarily and cursed below his breath, running after it once more, he picked it up and straightened himself. “Sorry…I will…” he pointed to the door and turned to leave.

“Hey Magnus, come here for a second.” Jace yelled and Magnus turned back around, slowly making his way to the sweaty shadowhunters. His eyes met Alec’s for the first time since their kiss and felt like he was hit by a wall of heat right then, his hazel eyes stared right into him, filled with passion. Most likely due to the fight but, well. Alec licked his chapped lips and gave him a very quick look over. Magnus gulped as he got closer and felt like crumbling to the ground, his knees felt shaky.

He stopped as he reached them and felt the heat of their bodies, he averted his eyes to look at Jace.

“Yes?” his voice was as steady as possible. He felt Alec’s eyes bore into him from aside and fought the urge to look back at him, but he felt the familiar heat crawl up his cheeks and tint them in a shade of red.

“You are experienced in fights, right? I know you are we had our moments. Do you think it’s wiser to…” Jace began and Magnus felt a nudge against his foot, he looked down to see Alec’s foot retreating, he looked up at him to see what that was about. Jace still spoke but he couldn’t hear him in that moment, it was like Alec and him were alone in their own world. Alec lowered his eyes to Magnus groin and back up. Magnus looked down on himself, seeing the very obvious tent in his pants.

He inhaled sharply and quickly placed the apple and his hands in front of it with a gasp and looked back up to see Alec perform a very illegal lopsided smirk. Magnus ears began to burn, so much that it actually hurt.

He quickly turned his attention back to Jace who ended his speech right then. “…don’t you think?” Magnus parted his lips as he realised Jace was waiting for an answer to a question he had rudely not listened to. He saw Alec turn around and run his hand through his wet hair, walking towards a table to grab himself a bottle of water and gulped it down like he was dried out.

“Hey!” Jace poked him in the side and Magnus snapped back to him. He didn’t realise he had again followed Alec with his eyes and forgot about Jace. “Are you there?” Magnus nodded.

“Sorry, I was distracted. Eh-I was my apple. It is. Here.” He stuttered and heard a loud snort coming from aside as Alec spit out his water, before coughing loudly. Magnus stared at him in horror and watched his shaking shoulders, a muffled laugh was heard. What the fuck did he just say? He couldn’t even remember the words that had left his mouth, but apparently it wasn’t a coherent sentence.

Jace eyed Magnus suspiciously, but didn’t want to know what that was about to be honest. “Okay buddy.” He gave him a rough nudge against the arm, a look of pity on his face as if Magnus had turned crazy and he wanted to comfort him. “See you later, Alec.” He walked past the warlock and left the training room to give them some much needed privacy, they clearly only had eyes for one another. He made sure the door was all the way closed.

Magnus still stood mortified. He had really never, in his whole long life, stuttered so much and often as he had here. He just couldn’t seem to function when Alec was around. It was horrible. He really needed to gather himself and calm down. He was a wise, old warlock, not some lovestruck teenager. He had to show what he was made of and that he was capable of talking, capable of reigning in his emotions. Alec turned around and wiped his mouth, before slowly walking back towards the warlock.

Magnus inhaled deeply, his chest rising and falling, he turned to face him completely as Alec approached. He was so close that Magnus had to tilt his head up. Show that you are in control of yourself, show dominance. A smile tugged on the edge of his lips and his face went soft, melting into a look of pure adoration. He shook his head to snap out of it and wasn’t at all amused by Alec’s innocent smile. He couldn’t help it, he just couldn’t.

“There was a cat in my room.” Magnus then blurted out as it was the first thing that came to his mind and he really had to distract himself from Alec’s face, body, smell and most of all his own arousal.

Alec looked very suspicious, he let his head bounce a bit. “Do you like him?” Wait, he knew him? And he was a him? Good to know. Well he could have guessed from what Izzy had said earlier, Chairman Meow didn’t sound all too female. Apparently, it was the Institute’s cat when Alec knew him as well.

“I think he likes me. He licked my lips when I awoke.” Magnus chuckled.

“Lucky cat.” Alec murmured and met his eyes again, a cheeky spark enlightening them. Magnus parted his lips and placed his hand on his own chest in a fake shock.

“Alexander…” he scolded and Alec’s smile instantly froze, his eyes bulged.

“What did you just call me?” he sounded confused, which confused Magnus in return. He let his hand slip off his chest.

“I-I thought, you are, it’s your name, is it not? You wrote it on the letter to me some time ago.” He explained, his voice a nervous wreck, just like he himself. He hoped he didn’t offend Alec with that.

“Yes, it is. I am just…” he gulped and looked completely out of it.

“I’m sorry.” Magnus reached out to stroke his arm but pulled it back before it touched him.

“No, it’s fine Magnus. Really.” He relaxed a bit to show him he didn’t do anything wrong, he really didn’t. He had missed him calling him by his full name, like a lot. It felt good, it felt natural.

“You know, we all have our burden to carry. You can call me by my full name as well if you like, Magnatius just doesn’t roll off the tongue so pretty.”

Alec gaped at him, completely horrified. “What? Are you kidding me?”

Magnus tried to hide the laugh that pressed against his lips from inside and trembled from the effort of it, before he let it go and laughed out loud, his head thrown back. Alec looked so startled it was just too funny. He tried to collect himself but seeing the shocked face made him tip over that edge all over again and he completely gave in to his laughing fit, wheezing loudly.

Alec chuckled, realising the warlock had been making a joke. Of course. And he just looked too perfect laughing like that, his eyes crinkled at the edges. He loved every second of it.

Magnus pulled himself together finally, wiping his watery eyes. “I am sorry, I got carried away there.” He snorted once more and then pressed his lips together. “So, back to the topic, how did you know I had a cat in my room?” His chin trembled as he still tried to regain his composure.

“It’s my cat. Chairman Meow. I don’t have much time for him at the moment and thought maybe you would like the company and take care of him?”

When Alec had made his way back up from the Seelie in the cellar last night, after giving Jace a very, maybe a bit too harsh, speech about not to call him that late at night anymore and deal with it on his own, Magnus had already been asleep on his bed. A smile played on his lips and he looked more peaceful than he had seen him since…ever.

He still couldn’t believe he had actually done that, that he had kissed him after telling himself not to, but apparently nobody listened to him, not even himself. He didn’t know what he was thinking, the urge to feel Magnus lips just overpowered him and he didn’t regret his decision. Even though Magnus had seemed startled at first, he returned the kiss with just as much passion like he had wanted to do this himself. Which meant that Magnus liked him too and that was all Alec ever wanted and ever needed. Nothing more. Just Magnus.

He had decided to let the warlock get some rest, not being in the mood for Jace at the moment and still being slightly aroused, he had decided to go back to his loft where he was greeted by a much neglected Chairman Meow that had hissed at him loudly. He came by daily to feed him and give him water but apparently, he felt lonely here all by himself. And also, he surely missed Magnus. That was when a thought struck him. Chairman needed Magnus just as much as Magnus needed company. This was perfect.

Magnus eyes sparkled instantly. Yes! Please! “I would like that, thank you. I always wanted a cat and he is really beautiful.” Alec nodded, pleased his plan had worked out.

Alec stretched his arm and took the tips of Magnus fingers into his, pulling it carefully. Magnus eyes drifted down and watched their interlocked fingers before his gaze rose once more, meeting Alec’s.

“About yesterday. I hope it was okay…that I kissed you.” Alec’s voice was gentle.

“Well, I kind of kissed you back, didn’t I?” Magnus whispered. The atmosphere suddenly shifted. Alec took a step forward and rose his free hand to Magnus cheek, placing it against his warm skin, Magnus felt his breath pick up and leave in jerky gasps as he saw Alec lean down and closing his eyes. Magnus opened his mouth just in time and was greeted with Alec’s soft lips, pressing against his gently. They fit perfectly like being made for eachother’s.

Magnus eyebrows went up and he exhaled loudly through his nose, Alec tensed his fingers against Magnus cheeks to ground him and parted his lips, his tongue sliding out and into Magnus mouth slowly to make him back away if he wouldn’t want it, Magnus parted his lips some more, granting him entrance to his mouth. His tongue was so hot and strong, he felt it lick inside of him and felt his knees give in. He quickly grabbed Alec’s upper arms to steady himself and felt his tense muscles below his fingers.

Alec tilted his head the other way and pressed it against his eagerly, the gentleness slowly turning into passion. Their lips locked and unlocked, the dryness being replaced by wetness and moist sounds as their saliva mixed together. Magnus took a step forward and pressed himself into Alec’s body and felt his by now aching erection slide up Alec’s thigh, he stretched up to properly reach him, his hand sliding up his strong arm, over his shoulder and to his neck where it rested in his soft hair. Alec gasped and took a long breath for oxygen before rushing back to Magnus kiss swollen lips.

He stroked his hand down Magnus jaw, neck and collarbone, over his firm chest, feeling his rapid heartbeat for a moment, before moving it further down his stomach, feeling him twitch to the touch, he let go off his hand he had been grabbing roughly the whole time and placed both his hands on Magnus lower back, pressing the warlock into him. They only parted to catch some air, but besides that never left eachothers longing lips. Magnus was completely out of it, in another world, where only Alec existed. He tasted heavenly. He smelled amazing. He just couldn’t get enough of it, now that he had tasted him.

He felt Alec’s hands go down to his backside and squeeze his ass with his big hands. Magnus whimpered and felt a blush forming on his chest, spreading up to his cheeks. Alec didn’t stop there, he leant down and grabbed Magnus below his thighs, pulling him up in one swift movement so that the warlock straddled him in the air. He placed one arm below Magnus to hold him, the other one on his back and turned to walk to the table.

Magnus let himself be manhandled, really not able to do anything at all at the moment and dug his fingers into Alec’s back to hold himself up. He didn’t fear that Alec would let him drop but he was just too excited to think straight. Alec crossed the room in only a few big strides and placed Magnus down on the table carefully, he pressed his upper body forward, making Magnus lean back, Alec still held him on his back to not make him fall and placed him down on the table, leaning over him and cupping his cheeks once more, his kisses becoming sloppy and hasty. He sucked Magnus lip into his mouth and nibbled on it passionately, whilst his lower body grinded against Magnus crotch.

His legs were pressed into a stretch by Alec’s waist, he could feel his erection against his own, a warmth radiating off of it. The position made him feel a little vulnerable but the feeling of trust he had towards Alec was bigger and so he relaxed as good as possible. Magnus met his thrusts with his own and moved along with him by its own will. The hard fabric of his jeans kind of hurt as it rubbed against his soft skin with each of Alec’s movements and he hissed quietly.

Alec stopped his kiss and looked down at him with concern, he quickly realised the problem, before he looked down between their bodies and then quickly lifted himself just enough to reach down between them, opening Magnus button and pulling down the zipper. He tugged the jeans down to his knees and let it fall to his ankles, he pressed forward again and took his former position, rubbing against Magnus underwear now.

The sensation was almost too much, he felt his groin tingling and his lower abdomen do flops as Alec’s erection shamelessly rubbed against his own through 3 layers of very thin fabrics. He placed his hands on Alec’s waist and pressed his fingertips into his skin as Alec attacked his mouth once more. One of Alec’s hands slid under Magnus shirt and searched for his chest, finding what he searched for quickly as he pinched Magnus nipple, rolling it between his rough fingertips until it hardened.

A loud moan escaped Magnus lips, coming from deep inside of him. Alec stopped his thrusts and reached down with his free hand and before Magnus had a chance to react, he felt it slide below his waistband and envelop his hard cock, pulling it out of his underwear. “Now, where were we.” Alec mumbled deeply. Magnus body tensed up instantly and he pushed against Alec’s waist out of instinct, his thighs pressed against Alec’s body in an attempt to hide himself, to get rid of the hand on him, which didn’t work.

“I…” he breathed. He didn’t know what he was going to say actually, make him stop? Tell him he had never been touched like that by a man? Tell him to just go on with it? Thousands of emotions ran through his head as Alec slowly began dragging his hand up and down his cock, pulling on the soft skin of it and making it twitch in his hand.

“Oh god…” Magnus let his head fall back, not knowing when he had pulled it up at all and it hit the table loudly. He didn’t care though. Alec sucked on the vein on his neck below his jaw and it made goosebumps spread on his skin and all over his body. Magnus grabbed Alec’s upper arms and dug his fingers into his skin forcefully to ground himself somehow.

Alec’s big hand nearly held all of him and it was strong and felt rough, it was so different from his own or a female’s hand. And he knew exactly what was good, knew how to pull, how to twist his hand, what pressure he had to work on him, the things only another man would know. The roughness of his skin was almost painful, but not so much that he would make him stop. Ever.

This felt so much better than when he did it himself, so much better than what he had imagined it to feel. He cursed himself for having stopped Alec last night. He could have had enjoyed that pleasure already!

Alec’s thumb rubbed against the wet and sensitive head and he pressed the tip into his slit for a moment, making Magnus whimper in ecstasy. He then continued to press his thumb down the thick vein of it, feeling it pulsate below his touch.

He lifted himself from Magnus to look at him properly, enjoying the sight of the completely messed up, spread out warlock a bit too much. The love and want for him nearly consumed him. Magnus had his eyes clenched shut and his mouth wide open. Tiny sweat beads rolled off his forehead. A row of moans emanated from his lungs as Alec began jerking him off more eagerly. He left Magnus ravished nipple to move his free hand to his own stomach, pushing his sport pants down as quickly as possible to make his erect cock flop out and stand straight up, he grabbed it without looking down and roughly tugged on it in the same rhythm as he worked on Magnus. His whole body shaking from the quick and rough movements. The muscles on his arms were tense from the effort and the veins began to show.

He had to concentrate a lot to be able to work on them both, while he watched every little twitch of Magnus face and body. Magnus looked completely zoned out, in another world, he obviously enjoyed this as much as Alec did and that made him all kinds of proud and warm inside. He had missed this so much, so, so much.

He didn’t know why but Magnus looked different to what he was used to when they had done such things, not that he hadn’t always clearly enjoyed himself but this time Magnus looked just wrecked, he was never such a mess by just a handjob. Maybe he was just in so much need of this as Alec was. His movements sped up even more and he only had one goal on his mind, he needed to see Magnus come, needed to make him feel good, to show him how much he missed and loved him.

Magnus felt his thighs shake and the warmth spread in the base of his cock, he was going to cum. He shot his eyes open and grabbed Alec’s wrist to make him stop. Again, completely out of instinct. He didn’t know how to feel about this, he didn’t know if Alec wanted him to, if he would feel disgusted by his cum that would probably drop on his fingers and most of all he didn’t know if he wanted to give up that control, he felt a voice inside his head that prevented him from letting go. He hated himself for his emotions and felt like crying the second he had stopped Alec’s movements on himself. His head felt like it was going to explode from all the thoughts shooting right through it.

No, he needed this, he wanted this, his body was craving for that release, for the sensation. Alec was a guy, a gay guy that had done this before obviously, he knew what was going to happen. Alec looked down at him, startled, though his hand still worked on himself he stopped his movements on Magnus but still held onto him loosely. He could see the mixed emotions on Magnus face and really didn’t understand what was going on inside that head. He was giving him odd signals.

Ah fuck it. Magnus wrapped his hand around Alec’s to tighten the grip again and jerked himself off with it, he lifted his hips up and down, thrusting himself into Alec’s fist, the warmth instantly rushing back to his groin and spreading throughout his whole body in a rush, he tried to keep his pace but got thrown out of his rhythm as his muscles tensed up. Alec quickly took over for him and returned to his rough pace on both of them.

“Alexander…” he breathed as his cock started pulsating, shooting spurts of cum all over his shirt, face and hair. A loud groan followed and his back arched up from the table, a white sensation rushing through his whole body. Alec moaned along as the sight and hearing his full name made him cum on the spot, adding his own cum to the already stained warlock. Both their bodies spasmed for what felt like minutes.

Magnus felt his conscious slowly circling back into reality. His cock began to feel sensitive and he pulled Alec’s hand off of himself. He opened his eyes slowly and tried to regain his normal breathing. He felt something wet against his cheek and on his throat. His limbs went completely weak and he let his legs drop to the table. Alec leant forward and placed his lips on Magnus’ with the utmost gentleness, loving and warm. The passion gone, being replaced by nothing but love. Magnus returned it as good as possible, but Alec already pulled back.

“Are you okay?” Magnus blinked a few times, thinking about it. Was he okay? What had just happened? He was nearly naked, the shadowhunter between his legs. He had just gotten a hand job by him and orgasmed right in front of him. Was he okay? He questioned again. The betraying flush spread on his cheeks and into the tips of his ears. He couldn’t meet Alec’s stare.

“Magnus?” Alec whispered softly and cupped the warlocks’s red cheek, seeing the embarrassment on his face. He hoped he wasn’t the cause of it but somehow he had a weird feeling about this.

“Yes, I am okay.” Magnus voice trembled, even though he tried to sound steady. Alec reached aside with his long arm and grabbed his training towel, he gently cleaned Magnus face with the tip of it, his throat and above his crotch, before cleaning himself and his hands, he tossed it aside and dressed himself properly, Magnus did the same, pushing himself back into his underwear, before straightening to sit, Alec stepped back to give him space and Magnus hopped off the table to reach for his pants, dressing himself again.

Alec reached for his face and lifted his chin to look into Magnus eyes. “You are not. What is wrong?” his voice was still kind even though there was some seriousness in his tone. “Did I do something to make you uncomfortable?” he tried to understand what was going on. Maybe he got too lost in the heat of the moment and didn’t notice Magnus not wanting this yet maybe? He felt sick at the thought that he might have forced him into this.

Magnus parted his lips but closed them again. Shit. He didn’t know how to tell him, he feared Alec would behave different around him, would maybe not be interested in him anymore, or even maybe be angry for lying in the first place. He did want this, even though he hadn’t planned it and it kind of caught him off guard, he really loved every second of it.

“This was great…” were the words that finally left his dry lips. “I-I don’t know what to say. I am just speechless.” He chuckled now, the tension slowly drifting off, Alec’s concerned eyes turned soft and he returned the smile.

“Yes, it was. I wanted to do this for a long time now.” Alec admitted and gulped, hoping he wouldn’t scare him away. “I really like you Magnus…” A flash of surprise passed the warlocks face.

“I like you too.” He really did. He fucking did. His heart hammered against his chest wildly. He did it. He told him. And Alec liked him too. This was surreal. Could that really be true? It felt extremely exciting and new to hear those words from a man and return them.

Alec and Magnus took a step forward almost simultaneously and pressed their warm and used lips against the others. Their breaths intermingled for a second and Magnus hummed appreciatively, before he pulled back and down from his tip-toes to look up at Alec lovingly.

The heavy door opened with a squeak and both jolted away from each other as a few shadowhunters walked inside. Alec tensed up a bit and Magnus took a respectful step back from him.

“I have to leave now. I have a meeting to attend.” Alec said regretfully as he turned his head back to Magnus. The sounds of the shadowhunters preparing themselves for training played in the background. Magnus nodded. “Go do your work shadowhunter.” Alec beamed and gave him a quick peck on the cheek before leaving him, Magnus followed him with his eyes, raising his hand to his cheek where he still felt his lips linger. Oh wow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooooooooo, you guys okay? Slow burn has burnt out for a moment 😂 I am not even sorry for this, it was much needed, don't you think? 😏 I hope you enjoyed this as much as they did. Magnus has a new/old companion, I think the Chairman has missed him dearly. You think it was wise to tell Izzy? We'll see. Thanks for all the comments and kudos! 😘


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What did he say?” The man yelled and grabbed Magnus arm roughly, making him gasp in shock as his fingers clenched his arm painfully. Raphael quickly stood in front of Magnus again, shielding him from the fuming man.
> 
> “Stay away from him shadowhunter. I will not say this again.” Magnus felt the tension grow again and was sure the two of them would dive into a full on fight any second. He took Raphael’s arm in his hand, pulling on him slightly to make him back off before this escalated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://ibb.co/qFH5X9d)

“Alec…” Alec’s head shot up the second he heard the familiar high but threatening voice pierce the air. He looked aside to measure the distance to the door, but Izzy already slid down into the chair to his right, a hand on his thigh that was squeezing a little too much. Her pointy nails digging into his business pants. He sat in the first row of the big meeting hall, Aldertree before him on the stage giving a speech about how he was going to take the seelie case from now on since they hadn’t gotten anywhere with it, at least too slow for the clave’s liking. The room was full and everyone was listening, quiet mumbles were heard all around. Jace sat on the other side of Alec, not listening at all while eyeing his phone that rested in his lap.

Alec straightened his jacket and leant back before giving Izzy one of his trademark eyerolls. She squeezed his thigh tighter. “Ow…” he hissed and tried to bat the hand away.

“What did I hear from Magnus there…you took him out on a date?” her voice was quiet but dangerous, she leant towards him, her long dark hair hiding her furious face from Aldertree and the other clave members on stage.

“It was no date. We just had something to eat, that was it.” He whispered back and tried to get that death grip off his thigh, but she had already dug her claws into his skin deep by now.

“Did you kiss him?” He felt her eyes bore right into him and he looked forward to not meet her gaze, while an obvious pink blush crept up his pale cheeks.

“Nooo?” he said a little too high for his liking and Izzy opened her mouth wide.

“You didn’t! Alec, we talked about this.” She answered, instantly catching his fake tone she knew all too well. She had their mom’s voice now and it made Alec shudder whenever she used it. She was his little sister for god’s sake.

“It was just a kiss, nothing more.” His voice was still a pitch higher than usual and his cheeks began to burn. She opened her mouth to speak further when Aldertree coughed loudly, catching their attention. He gave them a scolding look before he continued.

“Shht!” Alec pointed to Aldertree and finally bat her hand away to cross his legs, the skin painfully aching where she had clawed it, he was sure it would bruise. Mustering his most curious expression as if Aldertree was talking about something completely fascinating, he stared up at the stage. Izzy groaned and looked up at Aldertree too.

“I am not going to let this go, Alec.” She whispered sideways and Alec nodded.

“I know.” A minute of silence settled between them.

“I thought I heard the two of you moan in the training room.” Jace said nonchalantly without looking up and both Izzy and Alec’s heads shot to him in horror. Jace shrugged. “Just saying.”

Alec stared back at Izzy to see her straightening and shaking her head dramatically, about to explode right then and there. Alec darted forward and nearly ran up the stage as if a snake had bitten him, to escape her outburst. Aldertree stopped talking a bit startled as Alec nearly bumped into him. He jumped aside as the tall shadowhunter stood in his place.

“Alec, I…” Alec turned around and watched the surprised crowd that looked up at him curiously. He gulped and needed a second to gather his thoughts, he hadn’t planned this at all.

“Thank you for being here. We appreciate the help.” He said to Aldertree, before turning back to the others. “I want all of you to follow his command from now on, regarding the case that is. But remember to report to me right after.” The shadowhunters nodded and Alec strategically overlooked the first row. “You can leave now.” The masses went into movement and Alec swiftly went off the stage, hearing loud clicks of heels behind himself. He quickened his pace and rushed down the corridor once out of the door.

He locked his office door once inside and turned around to press against it with a loud sigh. He twitched as he felt the doorknob wiggle. A knock followed. “Alec, it’s me.” Jace said.

“Are you alone?” Alec asked, not trusting this and Jace kept suspiciously quiet for a moment.

“Yeah I am man, open up.” Alec slowly unlocked the door and felt it slam into his face the very moment Izzy stormed inside, followed by Jace. Alec eyed him, holding his hurt face with one hand.

“Deception…” Alec whispered in slow motion and shook his head judgingly. Jace shrugged one shoulder, pointing at Izzy as if he had no choice. Alec turned to her and saw her, arms crossed in front of her chest and one foot furiously tapping the ground. There was no way out of this he realised. He might as well just face the truth.

“Okay!” Alec finally blurted out and waved his arms in the air, giving in. “We made out, okay? We kissed, we touched, we…” Jace pressed his hands against his ears and lulled loudly, stopping Alec’s speech. Alec rushed past them and sat down in his chair. “What do you want from me?” his voice was desperate. And he really was desperate. “I can’t stay away. I won’t stay away!” he got louder with each second and Izzy let her arms drop to the sides, her look softened.

“Alec…” she whispered.

“No!” He knew he was being stubborn, but he didn’t care. Two could play at this game.

“Did you ever think about the consequences?” She reminded him and he rolled his eyes once more.

“Of course, I did and I do.” His voice now got back to normal and they both relaxed visibly, finally on the same page. She sighed and gave him a weak smile, before leaving him. Great. Finally. Jace gave him an apologetic look and then followed his sister. The door closed behind them.

It was the first time he actually had time to think since everything had happened. Since Magnus and him went to eat. Was Izzy right? Was that a date? Well, he kind of wanted it to be and had maybe behaved a bit like it. But Magnus didn’t seem to mind. He relived the moment they had kissed in his room; he knew he shouldn’t have, but it was just too difficult, he was too weak for this. Too weak for Magnus. And it felt so good…so right. So familiar. He had missed this for so long. Missed his soft lips, his touches, his body.

And what happened in that training room was…just mind-blowing. It felt completely new, like the very first time they had ever done such a thing, besides having done them thousands of times. Maybe it was the training room, maybe it was the way Magnus wasn’t in control, maybe it was the fact they hadn’t done that in such a long time. The look on his face when he came was the most beautiful thing and that was for a fact the very same face he had always had and it was the most pleasing feeling to give Magnus that. Alec felt a wide smile cross on his face as he heard those words again…’I like you, too’. Magnus liked him too, in whatever age, in whatever form. They just belonged to eachother, were meant to be. He gasped, a loving warmth spreading in his belly.

\---

‘I like you’ the words kept playing on repeat in Magnus head as he sat at dinner the same day. Alec liked him. He really did, this felt like a dream. When he thought about it now it was actually very obvious from the way Alec behaved around him but Magnus didn’t dare to think that way. He could still feel Alec’s lips on his and traced them with his pointer finger, he tasted amazing. Fresh, like mint, but also a bit bitter like coffee with a hint of sweetness like he just ate a chocolate donut. He knew right then he couldn’t get enough of that taste and wished he could just go wherever he was and kiss him again. It felt right and good. Too good.

He sat at the cafeteria, it was dinner time, but Magnus was too much in thoughts to actually eat, he just played with it with his fork, daydreaming.

The memory of what had happened in the training room made him crouch down on the chair slightly, like someone could see his thoughts, it was so naughty and unlike anything he had ever experienced. It was partly arousing and partly overwhelming. Being so open and shameless with another human being, giving in to your instinctual urges like that, was nothing he ever did. Yes, he had experienced a handjob before, but that was in no way comparable to what he experienced today. He didn’t know if it was the fact a man did it or Alec, it was so much better. He knew exactly what to do and what would make Magnus feel good. It must be because he is a guy himself.

He had always hated when people shoved him around, controlled him, did what they wanted with him but it was different with Alec, he just let him take over without thinking twice. With any other person, with that kind of strength, Magnus would have panicked, but he knew he could trust Alec, he felt it, like there was some kind of deep connection between them. It was odd.

“Mr. Bane.” A deep voice startled Magnus out of his trance, he snapped his head up to see a tall and dark-skinned man in a suit stand next to him. “I am Victor Aldertree. I have taken over the seelie case. I could need your advice on the matter.” Magnus eyed the man’s attire and face for a moment. He was part of the clave, at least he gave away that vibe, he looked very professional and serious. He had a kind voice though. Magnus put down his spoon and gave him a firm smile.

“Well, Hello Mr. Aldertree, how can I help you?” he sounded a bit too cheerful. Actually, he quite enjoyed a shadowhunter asking for his advice, finally someone was acknowledging his abilities.

“Will you follow me please? I will explain then.” Magnus narrowed his eyes for a moment, well that was mysterious. He would never have followed a shadowhunter in the past, not without knowing him or knowing what was going on, but the time in the Institute really made him see that Shadowhunter’s weren’t actually that bad and treated him with respect, at least most of them, so he didn’t think twice before getting up from his chair to help the man.

“Sure. Lead the way.” He said in his most professional voice and followed the shadowhunter through the cafeteria.

They walked side by side through the corridors, the man was as tall as him, but a bit bulkier, you could tell he was very strong even though his muscles were well hidden. “So, Mr. Bane. If we needed you to make the seelie speak, tell us the truth about what happened. Can you do that?” Magnus had to think about that for a moment. Yes, he could see things that have happened, he had done that a few times before but actually never with a living person but objects. So yes, maybe?

“I don’t know, to be honest. I have never done that before.” Magic like that was of a higher level, he knew the basics about it though. He nibbled on his lower lip for a few moments. He really wanted to help; they would surely be very grateful if he could. He knew Alec was very frustrated about the case and if he could get some of that frustration out of the way and make him happy, then he was all for it.

“You can try, right?” the man said and his eyes sparkled. He wasn’t pressuring him; he was really kind in the way he spoke and Magnus felt that he wanted to help.

“I can try.” The man smiled. They stopped at the elevators and he motioned for Magnus to enter first. A figure rushed towards them in a blur and stood next to Magnus the next moment. The man hissed at Aldertree and protectively stood in front of Magnus.

“Santiago.” Aldertree said, the kindness instantly gone from his voice. “What a pleasure to see you.” He mocked obviously and Magnus saw how the expression of his face changed completely making him look like a whole different man. Raphael stood a step closer, breathing into Aldertree’s face. Magnus could feel the tension radiating off the vampire. They clearly knew and obviously hated eachother. Silence followed.

“Well, this is awkward.” Magnus murmured and didn’t really know what to do. Raphael turned towards him with a tilt of his head.

“You don’t know half of it. Where was he taking you?” Raphael whispered so only Magnus could hear.

“Mr. Aldertree here asked me to help with a matter of importance, shadowhunter business and such.” Magnus explained louder so the shadowhunter could hear. Raphael gave Aldertree a sideway glance, his jaw clenched.

“I am coming with you.” Aldertree nodded, knowing that would happen and motioned for both the men to enter. They did reluctantly. Another wave of silence followed and Magnus pursed his lips, looking from one man to the other while the elevator went down. Well, this was going to be fun.

The three of them walked towards the seelie once they left the elevator. Magnus could see him from afar, the familiar brown-haired man sitting on a chair in the middle of the room. He was tied on his wrists and ankles and Magnus furrowed his brow. He knew the man wasn’t innocent, but seeing him tied up like an animal did something to Magnus. Maybe it was because he was a downworlder himself, he just didn’t like this, it wasn’t right. They stopped in front of the floor long glass wall that separated the seelie from the men.

Magnus heard a quiet growl come from the vampire and gave him a little nudge against the side. “So, how do we do this?” Magnus asked, wondering about the procedure and also, he wanted to get this over with. This situation wasn’t all too pleasing. “I need to get my hands on him.” He explained, Aldertree nodded and went to the door to unlock it with a code. Magnus followed him and then entered the bright room carefully. The seelie didn’t mind looking up. The door closed behind him and Magnus looked back to see Aldertree and Raphael stand in front of the glass wall on the other side.

Aldertree looked tense and so did Raphael, though in a very different way. There was also a decent space between the two and Magnus wondered about what had happened between them again, well.

He gulped and tried to collect his mind. Okay, he just needed to get there and touch him, no big deal. He would figure out what to do then. He straightened himself and tried to look as intimidating as possible as he approached the stranger.

“Hello, Magnus.” The man said with a thick accent and Magnus froze and watched the man’s head rise and look at him. He had bright blue eyes that stared right into his soul. A little smile played on his chapped lips. His skin was covered in scars and what looked like some kind of glitter, his hair was thick and bound back.

“Hello.” Magnus returned a bit lame, but really what was he supposed to say. How did that man know his name? Did they tell him he was coming? Must be. He set into motion again and closed the distance to him. The man looked at every inch of his body and it made him quite uncomfortable. He rose his hands to the seelie’s head to place them on his scalp as the man talked again.

“I have been waiting for you to visit me.” Magnus stopped again and lowered his arms. What was that supposed to mean? He had been waiting for him? Why? Well, the man didn’t seem too quiet to him to be honest, he was talking on his own, maybe he didn’t need to perform any spell. Good for him? Magnus looked down at him a bit confused.

“Why? Do we know eachother?” the man smirked at that, an evil spark in his eyes, that would make Magnus shiver if he wouldn’t know the guy was tied down.

“My Queen would like to speak to you. Maybe you can make some time for her.” Magnus blinked a few times. His Queen? The Seelie Queen? Magnus knew who that was, she has been around for some time and she was quite powerful to say it lightly. What did she want from him?

The door opened loudly and Aldertree came marching in. “And? What is he saying?” He pressed and Magnus groaned. Couldn’t he just wait outside? He had this. The seelie froze and gave Aldertree an annoyed look before he stared back down, going silent once more. Damn.

“Great.” Magnus huffed and then walked outside the room, ignoring Aldertree, knowing he wouldn’t get any more answers now. Aldertree tried to talk to the seelie, but of course he didn’t speak anymore.

Magnus met Raphael outside the room and noticed him clenching his fists into balls beside his body. “What is it? What happened between the two of you?” He sensed something did, he was no idiot, but he didn’t know if Raphael was willing to tell him.

Aldertree left the room and closed the door, typing in the code to lock it. “What did he say to you?” his voice was furious and demanding as he walked towards them. “He doesn’t speak anymore. What did you do?” Magnus lips parted and he rose his hand, gesturing him to calm down.

“I didn’t do anything.” He said defensively as Aldertree came nearer.

“Exactly! You didn’t.” The man looked nervous and angry, he had one arm pressed into his side the other at his temple. All right…that guy definitely was a jerk. Magnus wondered how he couldn’t see that before; he had obviously acted nice to get Magnus to help and now turned mad when he didn’t get what he wanted. But it was Aldertree who ruined it, not Magnus. He got why Raphael hated him. 

“We are leaving.” Raphael pulled him after him, not unkindly, to walk back towards the elevators, Magnus followed and was suddenly very glad the vampire was with him. Aldertree stormed after them and stretched his arm to stop the elevator doors from closing, he went inside and they closed behind him.

“What did he say?” The man yelled and grabbed Magnus arm roughly, making him gasp in shock as his fingers clenched his arm painfully. Raphael quickly stood in front of Magnus again, shielding him from the fuming man.

“Stay away from him shadowhunter. I will not say this again.” Magnus felt the tension grow again and was sure the two of them would dive into a full on fight any second. He took Raphael’s arm in his hand, pulling on him slightly to make him back off before this escalated.

“I should have just killed you when I had the chance.” Aldertree spat into his face and Magnus felt his breath hitch. Wait what? Raphael got out of his grip and rushed forward, showing off his long fangs in a growl as he slammed the shadowhunter into the elevator wall.

The two of them quickly turned into a ball of hands and arms, throwing themselves against each side of the elevator, using every little inch of space and Magnus just tried to jump away whenever they got near. He snapped with both his hands, in an upwards motion and stretched his arms towards them, enveloping them into a blueish light, their movements stopped instantly as they froze. The elevator beeped and the doors opened, Magnus quickly made his way outside and walked backwards, his arms still stretched forward, holding the grip on them.

As soon as he was out of reach, he released them and they tumbled outside, continuing their fight as if nothing had happened, loudly groaning as they slammed their fists into eachothers faces. He heard Raphael groan loudly as Aldertree kicked him right in the stomach. Okay, that was enough! He couldn’t watch him hurt his friend.

Magnus swirled his hand in a flourish movement and grabbed the air in front of him with his fist; a light of orange magic emanating from his fingers and into Aldertree. He swung his arm towards the left forcefully and made the shadowhunter fly across the room and out of Raphael’s reach. He landed right in front of Izzy’s black heeled boots who quickly pushed one foot down on Aldertree’s crotch to keep him in place, the man groaned loudly.

Jace came running by and looked at everyone of them, confused. “What happened?” Raphael tried to straighten himself and Magnus quickly made his way to the vampire to help him stand, wrapping one arm around his body to steady him.

“They attacked me!” Aldertree shouted and Raphael loudly hissed at him, showing his bloody fangs. Jace looked at both Raphael and Magnus and then back to Aldertree, making a ‘pffft’ sound.

“Sure, yeah.” He grabbed Aldertree by the collar and pulled him up after Izzy left his crotch. Both held him in place.

“You have to believe me!” Izzy rolled her eyes and they dragged him away from the scene, ignoring the loud curses the man ranted. “Let go off me! You will pay for that! Both of you!” He shouted, but Magnus didn’t pay the man much more attention, he didn’t deserve that.

Magnus pulled Raphael along with himself, to make him sit on one of the benches, near the ops center and sat down next to him. “Let me help you.” He rose his hands to his forehead that had a gaping wound. Blue sparks emanated from his fingers and into Raphael’s skin. Magnus smiled internally, proud that he was able to actually perform this. He had worked hard on his healing powers within the past weeks and it showed.

“Thank you.” Raphael whispered with a small smile. The wound closed and Magnus lowered his hands again.

“You are welcome. I am sorry for what happened. Now and back then, whatever it was. And Raphael, thank you for helping me in there, but it really wasn’t necessary. I can handle a shadowhunter you know.” Really, he didn’t know why the vampire felt the need to protect him, he was sure he was stronger than him. But it was sweet somehow.

“You are too grateful Magnus.” Magnus nudged him against the shoulder and the other one chuckled, before taking Magnus into an embrace. Magnus was startled for a second, but then returned the embrace with a smile. Okay, this seemed to be kind of their thing apparently.

Magnus rose his eyes to see Alec walk around the corner, his calm face instantly melting into a frown as he took in the sight before him. He tilted his head and eyed them oddly as Magnus rose his eyebrows and inhaled and exhaled dramatically, patting Raphael’s back, in a way to show Alec that he was comforting the vampire and found it just as odd. Raphael let go off him.

“Please, promise me to stay away from him. That is no good man, Magnus.” Magnus promised with a small nod. He didn’t plan to see that guy ever again anyways. Whoever that was. Raphael then got up, Magnus did the same, the vampire left and Magnus looked after him for a moment, before returning his eyes to Alec who approached him slowly.

“What was that about?” he gestured towards the retreating vampire.

“Well, we kind of do that, for whatever reason. Let me know if you happen to find out why.” Alec chuckled at that. “Your meeting is over?”

“Yes, some time ago actually. I still had reports to write.” Alec explained while eyeing Magnus lips. Magnus noticed right away and quirked the edges of them up. Alec looked back up to his eyes, seeing them shimmer. Magnus just then realised Alec had changed and now wore a dark grey suit that was nearly black, tight in all the right places, showing off his muscled arms and thighs. Oh wow…that was, ehm sexy? He didn’t know he liked men in suits. Well, he definitely liked Alec in a suit. That Aldertree guy wasn’t a pleasure to the eye. He felt his heartbeat increase the more he oogled the shadowhunter in front of him. It really felt as if he got more beautiful with every day.

“Seeing something you like?” Alec whispered and quirked one eyebrow and Magnus inhaled sharply, his eyes on Alec’s and feeling caught. Oh no, don’t. No. The hated blush crept up his cheeks and bloomed fully, shading his face in a deep red colour. Alec giggled as he watched it happening, loving the fact he could make Magnus blush like that. Magnus groaned loudly in frustration even though that little giggle of Alec made his knees go weak.

“Do you want to get something to eat?” Magnus looked past Alec at the clock on the wall and back to him.

“It’s past dinner time already I fear.” Alec shook his head with a small smile and then nodded his head, motioning for Magnus to follow him which he did immediately.

“I am the Head of the Institute, Magnus. I can do whatever I like.” Magnus rose his eyebrows curiously and watched him from aside as they strolled through the corridor towards the cafeteria. He shouldn’t feel as aroused as he did, hearing him talk all bossy. When did that become a thing? Well, he had to admit it wasn’t the first time he felt excited at Alec’s Head of the Institute manners.

They walked past the cafeteria and Alec opened one of the swinging doors aside that obviously led to the kitchen. An elder lady stood by the sinks, towels and dishes in hand as they entered, she was as round as the dishes she held and had curly brown hair. Her face lit up the moment she saw Alec who crossed the distance to her and swung his arm around the woman who barely reached his stomach.

“My dearest Eva, how was your day?” She hit his stomach with her towel playfully, making him jerk and then gave him a look only a grandma could give.

“You know this is not working with me young man.” She said kindly and laughed, warm and loud, before turning and walking around the kitchen to do her business, knowing exactly why Alec was there. It wasn’t the first time.

He went to the fridge and opened it to peek inside when it was shut again forcefully. “Ah ah!” She scolded and Magnus was surprised at how strong that woman was and quick also. Was she a shadowhunter? He couldn’t really see any runes. She seemed to be sweet though and obviously knew Alec well. “Maybe you should mind dinner times for once and not roam my kitchen every night.”

“It’s not like I am avoiding it, I just have so much work to do and I am sure you have some left, don’t you? What was it today? Lasagna?” Alec craned his neck and tried to look around the kitchen, sniffing a little.

Magnus watched the scene, still standing in the doorway, it was oddly sweet to him, like being allowed to watch a family scene. Eva then looked to Magnus and Alec followed the motion.

“Eva, that is Magnus.” He explained, giving her a glance and she nodded, they seemed to speak to eachother with looks. She then rushed to him, her whole body bobbing with the movements and embraced him in a tight hug, Magnus let out a huff of air as she squeezed him a little too tight and inhaled deeply the moment she let go and giggled a bit awkward.

“Well, Hello Eva. Nice to meet you too.” Were that tears in her eyes?

“Yes, my boy, nice to meet you. Ah, never mind me, I get emotional.” She placed her fingers in front of her mouth and then smiled wide. Alec had his arms behind his back and watched them lovingly. “Of course, I have some left overs for you two lovebirds. Come on.” Magnus quirked an eyebrow at Alec the moment she rushed back to the fridge to get it out and then warmed it up in the microwave.

Magus followed her and stood next to Alec, who leant in and kissed the lobe of his ear, it was only a little peck but Magnus trembled from the intimacy of it. He obviously told her about the two of them, he realised. She pushed two plates, forks and knives into their hands and then patted their shoulders before going back to do her business. “Thank you, Eva.” Magnus said kindly and she waved a ringed hand at him, already back to her work.

They turned and left the kitchen to go back to the dark and empty cafeteria, sitting down at their table. Magnus snapped his fingers to have a little blue ball of magic hover over the table to give them some light and Alec gave him a big grin. They dove right in, obviously starving. Magnus realised he had been sitting here not too long ago with that very same food but didn’t manage to eat anything, he did now though, with Alec by his side.

Alec let out a loud sigh as he leant back and patted his lightly round belly. Like a fed, happy cat. “She, Eva, do you know her for long?” Alec’s face softened.

“Yeah, she has always been here since I was a child, I don’t actually remember a time without her. I love her.” Magnus let out a small gasp. Okay, he had thought so. They seemed very close and Magnus couldn’t help but think about little Alec running around the kitchen asking for snacks.

“She is really sweet, I like her.” Magnus agreed and Alec tentatively stretched his arm, wrapping it around Magnus back and holding him lightly. Magnus leant into the touch. “What was that meeting about earlier? If I may ask.”

“Of course, you can ask. It was about the Seelie case, one of our officials came by, deciding it wasn’t moving on too quick. Aldertree. Don’t even get me started.” Alec rolled his eyes and Magnus perked up.

“Aldertree? I met him earlier. He brought me down to the Seelie.” Alec tensed up the moment the words left the warlocks mouth.

“He did what? When? Why?” Alec sounded irritated.

“He asked me if I could help to get the Seelie to speak and I agreed, I thought I could help you and well, thing’s escalated.” Magnus averted his eyes but Alec quickly pulled his attention back.

“Escalated? How? Did he hurt you?” Alec scanned his face and every inch of his skin and Magnus shook his head.

“No, he didn’t. Raphael was with us, they fought, I don’t know what it was about they obviously knew eachother. It was ugly. I could stop it and Izzy and Jace took care of him.” Alec looked completely out of it.

“Izzy and Jace? Why did nobody tell me?” He sounded betrayed by his siblings.

“You came in the second it ended, that is why I was hugging Raphael after healing him. I am telling you now.” Alec gulped and pulled his arm back, visibly thinking.

“That son of a bitch.” He cursed and Magnus reached for his thigh, stroking it only lightly.

“It’s okay, he is gone.” Alec looked down at Magnus hand and then back at his eyes slowly.

“And the Seelie? Did you manage to get him to speak?” Well, yes but it was nothing relevant. Not for the case.

“I tried, but Aldertree interrupted us. I could do it again?” Alec shook his head.

“No, there is no need. We will manage. I’m just glad you are okay.” Magnus smiled and squeezed his thigh a bit. It was already late by now and it was time to get some rest. Alec seemed to think the same and both got up, got rid of their dishes, gave Eva Good Night wishes and then walked up to their room in silence.

Tension filled the little space between them and Magnus realised this was going to be the first time they would spend the night in the same room after their kiss and he swallowed, stealing a little glance to Alec, who had his eyes straight forward. He looked back towards their door as they reached it and opened it for Alec to enter, he watched him walk inside, getting rid of his suit jacket, showing off his broad and muscled back and Magnus inhaled deeply before closing the door behind himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the Seelie knows Magnus? Interesting 🤔 Aldertree is just a jerk. Keep away man. How about that, some romantic alone time in the cafeteria? That is all we need, right? 😍 I sense tension in the air 😏 I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Thank you for all the kudos and comments on the last chapter!


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Get yourself together Magnus! This is just Alec. Just Alec. You always sleep together. Well not in the same bed and they haven’t been in this room since their kiss. It felt different this time, they had done things, they liked eachother, did that mean they were going to do more of it now? Would Alec assume they would? Magnus felt nervous and thrilled equally, but unfortunately his nerves took charge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://imgbb.com/)

Alec placed his jacket on the armchair and loosened his white button-down shirt at the top. Magnus felt his fingers trembling as he took off his necklaces and placed them on the table. He felt like a nervous wreck. He eyed Alec from aside, as subtle as he could, as Alec undressed determinedly, one shoe after the other, he pulled the shirt out of his waistband and then opened his fly. Magnus quickly averted his gaze and pulled off his rings. “I, uhm, I’ll be right back.” He rushed into the bathroom, closed the door behind himself, grabbed the sink and watched his reflection in the mirror.

Get yourself together Magnus! This is just Alec. Just Alec. You always sleep together. Well not in the same bed and they haven’t been in this room since their kiss. It felt different this time, they had done things, they liked eachother, did that mean they were going to do more of it now? Would Alec assume they would? Magnus felt nervous and thrilled equally, but unfortunately his nerves took charge.

He felt like vomiting from all the excited butterflies roaming his belly, they were flying in all directions, chaos all around. He needed a drink. Right now. He snapped his fingers to have some alcohol appear in his hands, he didn’t even know what it was and gulped it down smoothly before hissing. Oh boy. He quickly grabbed his toothbrush and brushed them thoroughly until his mouth hurt. He went to pee and then cleaned his hands. Okay, he couldn’t stay in here any longer or Alec would think he was pooping or something. With a deep inhale of oxygen, he opened the door again and walked back into the main room, where Alec stood, putting on his pyjama pants. His upper body bare.

Magnus eyes nearly left the sockets for a moment. He had seen him half naked before, actually he had seen him naked before, but it was different this time. He hadn’t had feelings for him then, well not as strong as now. Odd how feelings changed the whole way you saw someone. Magnus could see every muscle move below the skin and he had a lot of them. And also, those runes, which of Magnus had no clue what they meant but he would try to find out. His chest was covered in hair, a trail going down his stomach and disappearing inside his pants. Magnus quickly looked away when Alec straightened himself when he was done dressing himself.

Magnus walked to his closet and then undressed himself, slowly and carefully, stepping out of his shoes, knowing Alec might watch him and he had nothing to be insecure about, he felt the need to show Alec that he was just as fit as he was and could easily keep up with the shadowhunter regarding fitness. He might have tensed his muscles a bit more than needed as he took off his shirt and got out of his pants. He threw his socks aside and heard the bathroom door close behind himself. He walked to the bed and quickly got inside, sliding under the thick covers.

He really didn’t know the protocol for this, how was he supposed to behave now? Were they a thing? Was Alec expecting to sleep in the bed with him? Were they supposed to make out? He felt the sweat form in his armpits and burn his skin.

He clutched his palms together as he sat in bed, his back against the headboard. Straight as a rod. He quickly tried to relax himself as he realised how tense he must look and slid further down the bed, trying for a relaxed pose. He fidgeted in bed, annoyed with those damn soft covers that circled his legs and slithered off the bed with a yelp just as Alec opened the door.

“Magnus? Are you okay?” Magnus groaned loudly. No. Just let me rest in peace. He slowly made his way out of the covers and lifted his head, then his body and pulled the covers back onto the bed, before sitting back down on it, placing his face into his palms with a groan.

“I’ll be okay.” Magnus murmured into his hands. “Give me a moment.” How did he always manage to be so awkward around Alec all the time? It seemed to get worse the closer they got. He was so smooth around others, why couldn’t he just be his normal self for once. All he wanted to do was talk to Alec and look at least a slight bit suave while doing so.

Alec suppressed the laugh that was bubbling up his throat and pressed his lips into a thin line as he crossed the distance to sit down next to Magnus, who felt the bed dip beside him. He really wanted to tell him how adorable he was, he noticed how nervous he was, though wondered why, but knew he shouldn’t press it. He tentatively wrapped his arm around Magnus lower back and held him tight, stroking his skin with his thumb to silently comfort the embarrassed warlock.

Magnus felt his skin tingle where Alec touched him and his thigh pressing into his. Alec reached for Magnus fingers with his free hand and pulled them off his face one by one.

“There you are.” Magnus slowly drifted his eyes to him. Alec’s face sparkled. Actually sparkled, Magnus thought as he eyed the beaming shadowhunter, like he saw the most beautiful thing. “You are beautiful, Magnus.” Magnus eyes twitched. Did he really just say that? Was he some kind of mind reader?

“Look who’s talking.” Magnus searched Alec’s eyes as soon as the words left his lips. Maybe it was the alcohol. He had never told a man that he found him beautiful before, it felt odd but right. Alec cupped his cheek with his warm big hand and Magnus closed his eyes and melted into the touch, sniffing on his thumb, his skin smelled amazing. He opened his eyes again to see Alec hover an inch in front of his face, his eyes drifting down to his lips and back up as if searching for approval. And that was it, his mind went blank.

Magnus rushed forward and pressed his face into Alec’s, making him back off a little with the force behind it. He hummed in surprise as Magnus pressed his lips against Alec’s with pressure. He pulled back and inhaled deep and Alec finally caught himself and what was happening, then darted forward and searched the warlock’s lips who quickly opened up for him and let them brush against eachother’s, he felt Alec’s tongue invade him and Magnus licked his tongue with his own, feeling a sensation low in his stomach.

Their breathing got jerky as they wildly chased after the other one’s lips as if they needed them to live. Magnus grabbed the side of his neck roughly to keep him in place and against his lips.

Magnus could smell his aftershave on his skin and it was alarmingly arousing to him. He felt the strength behind Alec’s movements and returned it with the same. He felt a deep and instinctual impulse to show off his strength, to show he knew what he was doing, to ravish Alec, to satisfy his urges.

He pushed forward and made the shadowhunter lie down on his back, Alec shifted himself to the mid of the bed and Magnus crawled on top of him, going for his exposed neck. He sucked his vein eagerly, feeling the small stubbles below his lips, making Alec moan beneath him. He felt Alec’s hands on his back, roaming every inch of his skin.

Magnus traced his rune with his lips until he reached the hollow of his throat where he licked up and above his adam’s apple and to his jaw. Alec dug his fingers into Magnus skin. “Magnus…” he murmured and Magnus bit into his chin, before going for his red and plump lips again. They pressed together, sloppily and dirty, while Magnus lowered himself on Alec, straddling him. He felt the shadowhunters erection below his own, twitching against him, which made his breath hitch.

He felt his hips buck by instinct and thrusted his dick against Alec’s, it tingled and made his heartbeat speed up even more. Alec’s hands rested on his waist and pressed him down, he met his movements with his own and both grinded against each other roughly and quick, chasing the pleasure. The room was filled with murmurs, moans, fabric’s grinding together and moist sounds as their lips chased after the others. This felt so natural, so good, Magnus mind flew out of the window minutes ago and he was acting by instinct.

“I want you.” Alec whispered into his lips and Magnus froze in his movements. What? Want him? He couldn’t mean…? “Fuck me.” Alec craned his neck to reach Magnus lips, who had backed off involuntarily as his mind flew right back through the window into his head, all thoughts and nervousness back in place.

He wanted to have sex with him? They had just begun to make out, they weren’t even…what were they even? They had just kissed a day ago and here he was asking for sex? Magnus was overwhelmed enough by the thought to sleep with him in one bed and maybe make out, but this. Was Alec always so quick to do it? With how many people did he sleep already? The thoughts rushed across his mind, coming from every side of it, thousands of questions.

Was this okay? Was this the right thing to do? The right time? Did Alec really want him or just sex? He had never thought about sleeping with someone he wasn’t really in a relationship with, he wasn’t doing one-night stands. But then again…Alec was no one-night stand to him; he would stay and maybe…He cursed himself for overthinking and then felt Alec’s lips on his throat below his jaw and gasped.

“Please, Magnus. I need you.” His warm breath tingled against his skin and Magnus shivered violently. Okay, he wanted him and not someone else and well, Magnus wanted him too. Be as close to him as possible. Feel him in every way. And it had been too fucking long since he last had sex. Maybe this wouldn’t be the worst thing to do, in fact maybe it would be just perfect. But even if he wanted to, he didn’t know how to do it. He had never seen men having sex nor read about it in any way. Okay, it wasn’t that difficult, there only was one way.

“Please…” Alec pressed and cupped the warlock’s cheeks with trembling hands. Alec was practically begging him to fuck him and Magnus mind snapped as his instincts kicked in, his body taking over.

He slithered down his body and pulled Alec’s pants along with him, throwing his loose pyjama pants and boxers into a dark corner. The shadowhunter bent his knees immediately and Magnus felt like fainting as he rose his eyes, taking in the sight of Alec spread out on that bed. His cock was hard and deep red at the tip, pressing against his stomach, his balls looked heavy and slightly swollen, his chest was flushed and moved with every roughly drawn in breath. Magnus felt like cumming on the spot. Really. He had no words for that. It was so hot. How come he found this so hot, he had never had those feelings when looking at men, but Alec was…a vision. The way Alec offered himself to Magnus so willingly and openly made Magnus feel things, things he never felt before. There was a lot of trust and Magnus felt determined to prove him he was right in trusting him.

He pushed down his boxers and stepped out of them, not at all minding that Alec now saw him too. He wasn’t as big as Alec but still had a respectable size, his cock was darker than his skin and slightly curved towards his stomach, his balls were way smaller and firm, though Alec had seen him before he kind of felt like he was presenting himself before the act, like he needed to have a nod of agreement. Even though he tried not to think about it and wasn’t shy about himself, he hoped Alec liked what he saw.

He watched how Alec observed his crotch and licked his dry lips, before spreading his legs until his knees nearly touched the bed, oh wow he was flexible; Magnus groaned internally and tried not to think, otherwise this would be over before it started.

Magnus eyes immediately crawled down Alec’s crotch and to his now revealed asshole that had a shade of pink and twitched seeking attention. Oh fuck. Magnus felt his precum slide down his shaft and his mouth went slack. Alec stretched his arm and tried to reach for Magnus, motioning him to come closer.

He leant down slowly and crawled between Alec’s inviting legs and onto the bed again, lowering himself back on top of him and nestled his groin comfortingly into Alec’s. Alec instantly reached for his ass and grabbed his cheeks, squeezing them tightly, which made Magnus gasp loudly. Alec bit his earlobe playfully before sucking it into his mouth and rolling it with his tongue. A low moan escaped Magnus lips and he began rubbing himself against the shadowhunter once more.

He felt his Alec’s itchy hair against his own chest, the tight muscles below his skin, it felt amazing. Alec was sweaty but Magnus didn’t mind that all. The soft skin of their heated cocks touched and rubbed against eachother, smearing their precum all over them. His whole cock tingled from the sensation and he knew that he wasn’t going to last long whatever they would do.

“I want you inside me.” Alec breathed into his ear and Magnus shuddered. Would he just not?! He already needed to hold back his orgasm, Alec’s sexy talk wasn’t helping. He sounded so desperate; Magnus noticed. But it only made it hotter.

With a deep inhale of oxygen Magnus reached down between them to grab his own cock by the base and lifted himself a little, kneeing his way forward and closer to Alec’s warm body. He could do this. The basics were pretty clear. He shortened the distance between his crotch and Alec and tried to find Alec’s hole with the head of his cock, brushing along his skin.

He felt his breath go jerky and his nerves kick in as he didn’t seem to find it. His quickly gained courage dissipated with every second as panic began to rise in him. He lowered himself more and pressed Alec’s legs upwards with his thighs, Alec helped him and pulled his legs closer to his body and Magnus finally felt a spot of burning heat against his cock.

A jolt of pride and joy rolled over his body and he eagerly thrusted his hips forward and pressed himself into the twitching ring of muscles, he was barely an inch inside as he felt Alec tense up instantly, his hole clenching down on him hard, pushing him right back out again, he let go off his ear.

“Fuck, Magnus.” Alec groaned as he felt the warlock try to penetrate him. Magnus pulled back immediately and looked down at him shocked. Alec mirrored the expression. “What are you doing?”

Oh god. Had he misunderstood him?! Didn’t he want sex? There it was again, the urge to vomit. Magnus felt himself go pale and wished the ground would just swallow him.

“I’m sorry. I-I thought.” He stuttered and then quickly lifted himself from Alec’s body to sit on his calves. “I thought you wanted sex.” Magnus voice was unsure.

Alec narrowed his eyes while searching Magnus eyes. “I do, Magnus.” He said almost accusingly. Magnus blinked down at him completely confused now. “I haven’t…I am not prepared.” Alec explained as if it was the most common knowledge. He wasn’t prepared? What? But, didn’t he just say he wanted sex? Why did he want sex when he wasn’t prepared to do it?

Magnus got off of him and sat beside him, staring down at the bed, feeling completely overwhelmed and slightly humiliated by himself. Alec lifted himself to his elbows and straightened his legs again, watching the warlock with caution. “We don’t, we don’t have to do this.” He said not unkindly, he saw the stress radiate off the warlock and realised that he might have overstepped, that he might have forced Magnus into something he wasn’t ready for, into something he didn’t want. After all they just began making out.

He completely forgot for a moment, he forgot this was all new to Magnus and this was his first time with Alec unlike him who had had this a thousand times already, he just thought about himself, about his wish to be one with Magnus again, to feel him, his urges had overruled his mind completely and he felt shame and regret rush through his body. Magnus was so overwhelmed that he altogether forgot to prepare Alec, which was a clear sign that he wasn’t ready, Alec realised. He had fucked this up. “Shit. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pressure you into this.”

“You didn’t.” Magnus assured him quickly. Well he kind of did, but Magnus wanted it too, he wouldn’t do anything he didn’t want to do. So, Alec wanted sex after all, but then what had happened? Why did Alec stop him, why did he…oh wait, Magnus gasped as he remembered Alec's words and the way Alec tensed up, he had hurt him and he had completely ignored it. His cheeks blushed so hard and quick that they began to burn. Could he still say sorry for it or was the moment gone now? Alec must think he’s a jerk. Fuck.

Alec straightened a bit and lay his hand on Magnus shoulder carefully, seeing the way Magnus stared, completely frozen and red. “Are you okay?” Magnus looked aside slowly, seeing Alec’s concerned eyes and felt even worse, great now he was asking him if he was okay. How could that guy even be so sweet? He gulped heavily and breathed slowly, he had to do this.

“I am. Alexander, I am sorry if I hurt you.” Alec looked startled, like he didn’t know what he was talking about. “Earlier, when I…you know.” Alec lifted his head, revelation washing over his face.

“That. It’s okay, don’t worry about it, really. Even though I would appreciate if you did it the right way next time.” Alec chuckled, visibly more relaxed now and Magnus blinked a few times, completely confused.

The right way? What was the right way? Did Alec have more holes than that? Was he supposed to stick something else in? What was that pretty guy talking about? Images crossed his mind, that made completely no sense at all. No, he was very sure he made it the right way but it wasn’t his fault Alec was so tight, how was that even supposed to fit? That hole was tiny. He doubted his finger would even fit in there. He groaned as he realised the thoughts were getting him aroused again and also, he felt more than stupid at the moment.

“We should get some sleep.” Alec suggested, hoping to make this situation any easy for Magnus and get the tension out of the way. He felt the embarrassment radiate off of Magnus, Magnus nodded and then got into bed, crawling below the covers again, Alec quickly followed him and tentatively reached for Magnus, who leant towards him and both enveloped the other with their arms, in a tight and loving embrace. They sighed almost simultaneously and Magnus finally felt the nerves subside, his heartbeat go back to normal. He inhaled Alec’s comforting scent and nestled his face into Alec’s chest hair while Alec lay his chin of top of Magnus head.

This felt good, this felt right. Warm and close. This was enough for now.

“Good Night, Alexander.” Magnus murmured against his chest.

“Good Night, Magnus” He whispered back and kissed the top of his head, holding onto him a bit tighter. He promised himself not to push Magnus so much anymore, the warlock needed and deserved more time, he obviously wasn’t one to rush things unlike Alec thought. He had imagined Magnus to be quick with such things, having had so many already but obviously he wasn’t. Which was in fact a thought Alec enjoyed tremendously. He liked it better that way, that Magnus wasn’t fucking around with anyone he saw, but that also meant he needed to keep himself in check around him, not push him so much. Yes, he could do that.

\---

Magnus quietly hummed along with the song he was listening to while bobbing his head from one side to the other. His legs hang down the wall he was sitting on, outside in the garden. Chairman Meow sat between his legs and slept away while Magnus crawled him behind his ears absentmindedly. When he awoke earlier that day, Alec was already gone, the bed empty and cold, of course he had duties and got up way earlier than him. Though he had to admit he felt a bit disappointed he hadn’t gotten to greet him good morning.

Magnus eyed his surroundings before lifting his phone closer to his eyes, his eyes narrowed to small slits. He tried to get information on anal sex, weirdly enough, he had never thought he would need that information one day. It wasn’t as easy as he thought actually, all that came up were ads and pages involving pretty explicit videos of people having sex which made him cringe. It felt too intruding to watch. “There has to be some kind of trick.” Magnus murmured to himself and Chairman purred in agreement. He pushed his phone back inside his pockets and stopped the music.

This was frustrating. Well, obviously it was too tight, so what way was there to make this possible. Either you had to widen it before or use something that would make it easier, maybe some kind of liquid. He pursed his lips and felt utterly stupid. The cat lifted himself and arched his back, before giving Magnus a look and jumping off, like it didn’t approve of this conversation. “Yeah, you are a great help! Run off!”

Suddenly he heard some rustling behind his back and quickly turned his head. The bushes moved but there was no one to be seen. His eyes roamed around the area quickly and he held his breath to listen, then shrugged and turned back around to see a man sit in front of him. He yelped and nearly fell off the wall, the other one grabbed him by the arm to steady him and Magnus sat back and clutched his chest. “Lilith…You scared me!” the man smiled wide and tilted his head.

Wait, he knew him. He had seen him before, that was the seelie from the downworld meeting. Oh fuck. That was the seelie from the downworld meeting! He repeated in his mind, the one that thought Magnus was the High Warlock of Brooklyn. Magnus quickly looked down on himself, seeing his casual attire, dark sweatpants and a grey woollen turtleneck pullover and cursed internally.

“Hey, Magnus.” He said in a slick voice, but looked very kind while doing so.

“Meliorn.” Magnus tried to sound nonchalant and actually deepened his voice a little.

“I have heard certain rumours spread amongst my people.” The seelie said and Magnus felt his throat run dry. Fuck. He knew. He knew he wasn’t the High Warlock of Brooklyn!

“Rumours? What kind of rumours.” Meliorn looked at him as if he would see right through him and lifted his chin.

“You are keeping one of our own in the Institute.” His brown eyes pierced Magnus and he somehow felt completely bare. Oh, it was about that. He didn’t know whether to feel relieved or not.

“I don’t know about any of that.” Magnus tried and fought back the blush that was about to creep up his cheeks. He didn’t like to lie to a downworlder and he didn’t like the way they kept the seelie in the cellars, but telling Meliorn what was happening didn’t feel right somehow, his need to stand by the shadowhunters, stand by Alec was stronger than the need to stand by his origins. Meliorn arched an eyebrow. “You have to ask the shadowhunters.”

“I ask you, Magnus. We are friends, are we not? I can trust you, right? You wouldn’t lie to me.” Magnus paled. Friends? Wait what? He saw him one time. That dude was quick to trust people.

“Look, Meliorn…I don’t know you and I really don’t know what you are talking about.” Meliorn parted his lips and Magnus could swear he heard a little gasp escape his lips. His expression changed into something Magnus didn’t understand. Like he just had a revelation. Did Magnus say something wrong? Did he mess this up?

“So, it is true.” The seelie whispered and had some kind of pity in his eyes. What was true? Magnus felt his heart hammer against his chest and gulped down the lump that had formed in his throat. “I am sorry.” Magnus saw the man reach forward, but before he could react his vision went black as he was knocked out and slithered off the wall to the left, landing on the grass with loud thud.

Meliorn jumped off the wall gracefully, looked around himself and then pulled the unconscious warlock into his arms to carry him away.

\---

“Take those with you, please.” Alec handed the reports to Raj who then left the office. Alec rubbed his forehead and clenched his eyes a few times. How was it that he couldn’t concentrate at all, it was nothing new to him actually, making out with Magnus but somehow he couldn’t think of anything else than him now. He was supposed to act as the Head of the Institute and all he wanted to do was run back to his room and curl up with Magnus soft body below the covers.

He still felt bad about the last night and how things went down. He shouldn’t have forced Magnus to have sex with him he was so clearly overwhelmed and nervous, it hurt to see. But still, it felt so good, so absolutely good. Even though nothing really happened it was the best night in a long while. Just being close to him was more than he ever wanted. His love for him just constantly grew with every day and he didn’t even think that was possible.

Alec still felt his warm breath tingle against his collarbones as he awoke this morning. He knew he should keep his distance, but he didn’t want to and he never would. He would keep him and love him in whatever dimension and time, nothing mattered besides Magnus. If anyone had something against that they could suck it, just like that.

He pulled out his phone and pursed his lips while watching the time of Magnus status. He hasn’t been in the messenger for a while, which didn’t mean anything, he wasn’t using the phone regularly.

[Alec Lightwood – 10:03am] Hey, it’s me. I hope you are having a good day. Thinking of you.

He hit send after rereading it a few times and then waited. He checked it occasionally, still seeing the unread checks. He huffed and put the phone away to get some more work done. He checked the time again, 11:05. Still no read checks. Alec began feeling nervous, not really knowing why, he didn’t want to be clingy or something, but let’s just say he was curious.

He left his office, all too gladly, to go for his room, but to Alec’s dismay it was empty. It didn’t look like someone has been in there for quite some time. He swallowed and tapped his fingers against the door, growing more and more concerned where Magnus was. He walked back through the corridors and eyed every room he passed, until reaching his favourite viewing spot, the window with the view in the gardens. He was relatively sure that Magnus would be there and then frowned when the garden was empty as well.

But was that? Alec tilted his head as he watched Chairman Meow roaming through the grass, nosing the leaves up. He went to grab himself a jacket and then went outside, hands in his pockets and shoulders up high, it was suddenly extremely cold outside, odd for early fall, he thought.

“You are not supposed to be here, it’s freaking cold. Also, Magnus would kill me if you froze here.” He scolded while grabbing the cat and lifting it up carefully. He gave the cat a little nudge with his mouth who meowed loudly and then pawed Alec against the face. “Why are you out here anyways?” He turned to leave as his eyes caught something in the grass, he went to grab it, quickly realising it was a phone. Not any phone, but Magnus phone. “What?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh oh? Now, what do the seelies want with Magnus? 🤔 Hmmm. I hope you enjoyed the sexy times, despite the little missunderstanding 😎 Boys be boys, right? They just don't talk. Urgh. Thanks for all the kudos and comments on the last chapter! Much love! 😍


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What?” The seelie smirked brightly, his perfect white teeth showing. “What are you talking about?” Alec’s voice grew loud, a slight hint of desperation in it. Did he know anything? Did he know where Magnus was? Did he tell him? What was going on?
> 
> “My Queen will certainly enjoy his company. For however long it may last.” Alec’s breath hitched as panic rushed through every cell of his body. He wasn’t stupid, he instantly caught on what the seelie was referring to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://ibb.co/TRR8dmy)
> 
> Warning: Angst ahead. Enjoy?

Alec walked back into the Institute and put Chairman down carefully, before making his way into the security office. “Andrew, can you unlock this please?” He asked the moment he stepped inside, not bothering to knock or look up. Andrew was just about to put some files away into the shelf on one side and then turned to Alec, curiously eyeing the object in his hand.

“What is it?” He asked walking towards his boss.

“It’s Magnus phone.” Andrew furrowed his brow and looked from Alec to the mobile phone and back up.

“Are you sure about this?” He asked carefully and Alec handed him the phone.

“This is not. I am not.” He said gesturing in the air and then sighed. He wasn’t spying on him or something, he just wanted to make sure he was okay. “Look, I found it in the garden and I don’t know where he is. Will you just…?” Andrew nodded right away, understanding and not wanting to anger him so he got to work quickly, sitting down on his office chair, pulling himself closer to the table to get to work.

“It should be done in around 10 minutes.” Alec nodded and rubbed his own arms with his hands in a desperate attempt to comfort his nerves. “I will hurry up.” Alec gave him a faint smile and then left the shadowhunter, roaming through the halls completely aimlessly.

Okay, he had to distract himself or he would go insane. He still had to check on the seelie in the basement, the mess Aldertree had caused still needed to be corrected. That was good, it would take his mind off of Magnus and where he was and what was happening and if he was okay. He scratched his nails against the soft skin between his thumb and pointer finger while making his way down to the cellar and through the long hallway towards the seelie with long strides.

He inhaled deeply and tried to gather his thoughts, to concentrate and then knocked against the glass with his knuckles. The seelie pushed himself off the wall in the far end corner and walked closer to Alec, stopping in the middle of the room.

“Mr. Lightwood.” He said “What do you want today?” he sounded mildly annoyed.

Alec gave the man a quick look over to see if he was okay. “You know we won’t let you go until you give us what we want.” Alec straightened himself and placed his arms behind his back.

“And what is it that you want?” He dared him, his eyes sparkling.

“Answers.” Alec wasn’t in the mood for games. Not at all. The seelie strolled closer, carefully, slowly and then stopped right in front of the glass. He stared deep into Alec’s eyes like he was searching for something.

“And here I thought you want Magnus.” Magnus? His eyebrows twitched at the mention of his name. He lowered his arms immediately and stared at the seelie in confusion.

“What?” The seelie smirked brightly, his perfect white teeth showing. “What are you talking about?” Alec’s voice grew loud, a slight hint of desperation in it. Did he know anything? Did he know where Magnus was? Did he tell him? What was going on?

“My Queen will certainly enjoy his company. For however long it may last.” Alec’s breath hitched as panic rushed through every cell of his body. He wasn’t stupid, he instantly caught on what the seelie was referring to.

He nearly ran to the door, opening it with force before rushing right into the seelie, grabbing him by his shirt, pushing him back against the wall roughly. The seelie groaned in pain but then dared to laugh at his reaction.

“What did you do with him? Where is he?” he shouted and the seelie pushed himself out of his grip, Alec quickly pulled his dagger out of his boots and held it against the seelies throat, slitting his skin slightly with the force of it. “Where is he?” He asked once more, quieter but with just as much determination. The seelie hissed as the blade cut his skin, then he smiled again, enjoying the way Alec so easily lost his temper. He wouldn’t give him any answers.

Alec elbowed him right into his smug face with as much strength as he had, making the seelie faint and fall to the ground. He didn’t care about that, about him, or anything at all, that damn seelie could rot in hell. He put his dagger back and ran, not knowing where exactly, he just ran to get out of there and find Magnus.

“Iz!” He shouted through the ops center, causing a few eyes to shoot his way, he was completely out of breath and beside himself and stumbled along the room. “Izzy!?” Loud heels clicking echoed through the center as Izzy ran to the source of the noise, hearing Alec’s desperate voice.

“Alec? What’s wrong?” She asked as she reached him and placed her hand on his shoulder. She saw Alec’s frightened expression and knew something must have happened.

“They have Magnus. The seelies. They have.” He stuttered and then gulped to calm himself. “Meliorn. I want you to contact Meliorn we need him right now!” Alec didn’t want to think about what they would do with him, he remembered the dead warlock a few weeks ago and felt like someone punched all the air out of his lungs. He actually felt sick. Oh god. “Go!” Izzy twitched and then nodded and left him to do as she was told.

Alec walked back and forth for about 10 minutes before he concentrated on the computer, trying to find any information about where the seelies were. He by now already forgot about Andrew and the phone completely. His mind was focused on Magnus. He felt tears in the edges of his eyes, blinking them away quickly. This wasn’t happening. Why did this have to happen to him. Why did he let him out of sight? He was so stupid! What did they want from him?

“I can’t reach Meliorn.” Izzy said regretfully as she returned, her phone in her hand and Alec leant on the table, his eyes closed. He was sure he was going to throw up. Izzy went to his side and wrapped her arms around Alec comfortingly, seeing that he was close to a break down.

“It’s going to be okay, Alec.” He shook his head vehemently.

“Alec?” Alec rose his head quickly to see Helen stand before him, Aline by her side. “I know where they are.” Alec gasped loudly and rushed around the table and enveloped her into a tight embrace, she returned the gesture tentatively, a bit startled. Alec wasn’t one to show affection so openly.

“Thank you.” He whispered and Helen stroked his back soothingly. “Thank you.” He repeated, not minding the tremble in his voice at all.

\---

Magnus awoke slowly, his eyes opened and he had to blink several times to get a clear vision; a throbbing pain cursed through his body coming from his left arm and shoulder and before he could even take in his surroundings he clutched his arm with his right hand and felt the pain increase, he quickly released the grip and hovered his shaking hand above his hurting appendage. He had to clench his jaws together painfully hard, inhaling and exhaling deeply to stay calm and not scream his lungs out. He looked aside and saw a huge deep red stain on his sleeve and gulped. He snapped his fingers but the shaking of his hands prevented him from properly using his magic. Nothing happened. He gasped, his mouth agape and chin trembling.

He quickly looked around himself, turning his focus on something else in an attempt to ignore the pain. He was in some kind of forest it seemed, it was all very blurry, blueish and fuzzy. Was he dreaming? This had to be a dream, it looked unnatural. He was surrounded by trees and all kind of flowers, everything tinted in a weird shade. He could hear the wind flow through the air, the plants moving and some quiet melody from far away, something felt really off.

What was the last thing he could remember? He tried to concentrate, closing his eyes again. The wall. Chairman. Meliorn. Meliorn…He opened his eyes again as he put 1 and 1 together, he was smart enough to realise the seelie must have done something to him, brought him here. The seelie realm. It all clicked into place in his head, he had heard stories about this place before.

Leaves drifted down before his eyes, slowly, almost in slow motion. He realised that those weren’t normal leaves, they were pink and looked like rose pedals. He seemed to be alone, at least something. But the fact unfortunately didn’t make him relax but just tense more. He had to get out of here quickly.

He leant on his left arm to get up, completely in thoughts and let out a loud cry as it gave in beneath him with a loud shattering crack. He fell back to the ground with his back, inhaled deeply and shouted loud, his voice cracked and the shout turned into a soft whimper as the pain overpowered him. He didn’t care if anyone heard him right now, he wasn’t able to think at all. He curled himself into a ball and tried to keep his obviously broken arm together somehow.

Minutes passed by, he couldn’t tell how many, before he opened his eyes again and lifted himself off the leaf-covered ground. The pain had subsided, or he simply got used to it, because he could concentrate again; he sat up and hovered his right hand above the part where his shoulder met his arm and created blue magic in his fingertips, flowing right into his arm carefully. He could feel a tension that increased the pain, as his bones began to tremble, trying to repair itself. He bit his lower lip hard until he tasted blood in his mouth and then stopped with a loud sigh.

He couldn’t do it. He knew he had to continue to have his bones click back into place but he just couldn’t, it hurt too bad and he was exhausted. At least the pain was bearable for now. He pulled on his turtleneck to have a peek inside, wanting to see the damage. He could get a glimpse of his bones, sticking out in a weird angle and then turned his gaze away, feeling sick.

How did this even happen? What did Meliorn do to him? He remembered him reaching forward then everything went black. He must have brought him here and then left, for whatever reason. He had to man up and get the hell out of there before he returned. He leant forward until he knelt with one arm on the ground and then hopped onto his feet to stand. He straightened himself and looked around once more and only then realised how cold it actually was, he wasn’t dressed for the occasion, it was autumn after all and he had spent some time out here in the forest.

“You are awake.” A male voice pierced the air and Magnus jumped, quickly turning himself around to see Meliorn stand between two trees, leaning against one of them. His face relaxed. But Magnus wasn’t relaxed, far from it! He stretched his good arm forward, pointing at the seelie.

“You! What did you do to me? Why am I here?” Magnus rushed to say in the most intimidating voice he could muster in his current confusion.

“Calm down, Magnus, you don’t have to be afraid, I will not hurt you.” The seelie shook his head slowly and Magnus mouth went slack.

“HA! Right. Good one. And what do you call that?” Magnus pointed to his broken arm, a slight hint of craziness in his eyes.

“Collateral damage.” Meliorn said, shrugging.

“Colletaral…” Magnus opened his mouth even more, before cursing something in Indonesian below his breath. “You obviously did this!” Magnus hissed.

“I didn’t plan for you to fall off the wall, I am sorry for that.” Magnus shut his mouth now and furrowed his brow. So, he fell off the wall and onto his arm, well that explained the damage. But how wasn’t that Meliorn’s fault? How could he not predict Magnus to fall off the wall? Magnus confusion turned to pure anger.

“You can keep your apologies seelie. I don’t care. Just tell me how to get out of here.” Meliorn pushed himself off the tree and approached him, causing the warlock to stretch out his arm forward again, backing off while doing so. “Stay where you are!” Meliorn stopped. “I will not repeat myself. If you come closer, I will hurt you.”

“Magnus, I am trying to help you. I know, this must look…” He began and Magnus shook his head, clutching his fingers together in a way to tell Meliorn to shut his mouth.

“You are not trying to help me, you brought me here! And if you won’t help me, I will do it myself. I will create a portal and be gone!”

Magnus rose his arm and circled it around, a swoosh of magic following the motion and then fading away. Magnus eyes drifted to Meliorn who sported his most unimpressed face.

“Fascinating.” Meliorn mocked and then came closer again, obviously knowing the warlock was in no state to perform magic. Magnus backed off once more, until he felt a tree behind his back which caused him to stop. Meliorn stood right in front of him, a kind but also concerned look on his elegant face.

“I didn’t want this to happen, but I have my orders and my Queen she,” Meliorn looked around himself desperately and then back to the pale warlock. “She is very powerful.”

“What does she want from me?” Magnus tried to use this moment to get answers, since he wasn’t able to defend himself, he could maybe use a discussion to distract the seelie and he knew seelies couldn’t lie. So at least Meliorn was speaking the truth. He wasn’t there to harm him, not anymore than he already did at least.

“Nothing good.” He answered honestly without obviously giving away too much. Magnus blinked in confusion.

“I don’t understand. I am no grown up warlock, I am not that powerful even if I pretend to be. I can’t be of any use for her.” Magnus explained, painfully baring himself to the stranger. Maybe it wasn’t wise to tell him he wasn’t powerful, he didn’t know him, he could use the knowledge to his advantage but besides the fact he brought him here he somehow didn’t fear him. He had seen him interact with Alec and the other leaders. He didn’t seem to be a bad guy.

“I am sorry.” He said again. “She will be here soon.”

Magnus gulped. Okay. That was it. Even if he wouldn’t have a broken arm, he wouldn’t be able to stand a chance against the Seelie Queen, that much he knew. Meliorn backed off and Magnus could see figures in the distance, armed and with spears, seelies. He couldn’t see the Queen or if she was amongst them, but it was possible.

They weren’t here to talk. ‘Nothing good’ the words replayed in his head. He had to think, he had to act. He had to get out of there. His phone! He patted his hand along his clothes, realising he didn’t have it. He quickly searched the ground but it wasn’t there. Damn. Well that would have been too easy, right. The seelies reached him and he lifted his good arm towards them, red magic circling his fingers. If they wanted him, they would have to come and get him.

He tensed his arm and was about to shoot his magic at the tall, armed seelies that reached him when a loud swoosh echoed through the air, hitting one of the seelies in the shoulder, who stumbled to the ground with a groan. Another swoosh and the next seelie fell down limp. Magnus wasn’t quick enough to even follow what was happening as one seelie after the other fell to the ground. More seelies appeared behind them, unfortunately.

Magnus turned his head aside and saw a figure run past him, he blinked his eyes and then realised who it was. Jace was launching himself at the seelies, slicing them with his blade, a whip came out of nowhere and wrapped itself around another, Izzy. Jace, Izzy. Jace! They were here. How did they find him?

Suddenly they were thrown to the ground, landing next to Magnus as another figure appeared, walking through the seelies. Magnus had no doubt about who that was. She had a long, almost transparent, shimmering dress that was almost melting into the ground at the end, she glowed in a white shade, her skin sparkly, a sharp looking crown on her brown, long and wavy, reddish hair. The Seelie Queen.

Her blue eyes met Magnus and he could almost feel her penetrate his soul and shuddered.

“Stop this!” a blond woman with pointy ears said as she stepped out of the shadows next to Magnus. The Queen shot her a look of pure hate and lifted her hand, the blond girl rose off the ground with a mumbled groan. Aline ran forward and jumped the seelie Queen with a shout, making the blond girl fall back to the ground. The scene escalated before Magnus could understand what was happening. Who was that blond girl and what were they doing here? Who else was there? Alec. Was Alec there?

“Magnus! Come with me!” Izzy screamed as she got up and grabbed his right arm, pulling him out of his frozen state and making him follow her as she ran off and towards an open portal, he saw the girls run through it. Magnus mind slowly came back to the here and now and he remembered the arrows he had seen. Alec! Alec must be there too! But where was he? Magnus stopped abruptly and turned back around to search for his shadowhunter.

“Magnus! We have to get out of here!” Izzy begged and tugged on his arm, but Magnus was persistent and let his eyes roam the whole forest as quick as possible until his eyes finally landed on a male, tall and dark-haired guy, his bow aimed. Alec!

Alec turned his head to Magnus and their eyes met, shooting his arrow into the target anyways. Magnus hadn’t realised he had shouted his name out loud. Jace stood with him and then shouted something to his brother before running off to Izzy and Magnus. Magnus saw the Seelie Queen approaching Alec, lifting her arms into his direction.

Magnus shrugged Izzy’s hand away and ran, ran as fast as he could, his eyes focused on the Seelie Queen, his lungs burning, he threw his arm back, creating a red ball of magic before shooting it forward and right into her, she dodged it almost elegantly and then hissed, he shot another one, panting heavily as he was still running, it hit her in the stomach and she growled loudly, but straightened herself again, he threw another one and another one, bombarding her with magic, making her back off from Alec.

The Queen now turned her attention from Alec and towards Magnus, she lifted her petite and long arms again as Magnus jumped off the ground with all his strength, arching his spine back, his arm up in the air before a beam of red and dangerous magic shot towards her as he pushed his arm and himself forward with force, Alec turned away and shielded himself. A loud scream was heard as the Queen was lifted off the ground and swirled through the air and landed on her side on the ground a few feet away. Magnus hit the ground with his knees as he landed and quickly looked up to see if he had hit her and if she was moving.

She wasn’t. Magnus gasped loudly as he now felt the pain in his muscles, his heart hammer against his chest, the blood in his veins throb. He felt hands on his shoulders and heard the bow land on the ground before him as Alec knelt beside him and wrapped him into a tight embrace.

“Magnus…” He said desperately and clutched his pullover with his hands. Magnus lifted his right hand to Alec’s elbow in front of him and leant his head against Alec’s, feeling his warmth and smelling his scent. Alec. He was here. He was unharmed. He was safe. “You are okay.” Alec whispered, more to himself and Magnus nodded, a little smile on his lips. He was too exhausted to actually speak and just hoped Alec could feel how happy he was to have him here.

A twitch made Magnus straighten himself again, the Seelie Queen was moving, she was getting up slowly and then shot a pained grimace his way. She stood straight and then marched towards them. Oh no. No!

Magnus got out of Alec’s grip immediately and stood up, before stretching his arm up above his head, snapping his finger, but nothing happened. It didn’t work one handed. She closed the distance, a deep and creepy growl coming from her throat and Magnus watched Alec straighten himself to attack her, no he couldn’t let that happen. He couldn’t let Alec be hurt. He quickly stood in front of him protectively and then gathered all his strength to lift both his arms to the air, an almost unbearable pain following the motion, so strong that tears shot into his eyes. He snapped both his fingers to have a wave of blue protective magic shoot out of his fingertips and flow down their bodies smoothly, coating them.

The Queen stopped in front of it, her face an inch away from Magnus, Magnus returned her stare with just as much determination, not showing how weak and hurt he actually was. She eyed the blue bubble between them, her hands rolled into fists. Her dangerous glare wandered over the warlock and then to the shadowhunter. She clenched her jaw and then turned her eyes back to Magnus. Her face changed and softened, which was even creepier. She then turned around to leave, the rest of the seelies following her until they were out of sight.

Magnus let his arms drop down and the spell broke, his body going limp instantly, Alec quickly caught the warlock and leant against him to steady him, holding him tight. “I’ve got you.” He whispered and stroked the warlock’s back eagerly, he pressed himself into Magnus and Magnus wrapped his right arm around Alec, holding on for dear life.

“Are you okay?” Magnus asked as he straightened himself as good as possible and Alec backed off a bit to look him in the eyes, gasping as he looked into Magnus concerned and yellow warlock eyes.

“I’m alright, Magnus. Are you?” He cupped Magnus chin, feeling him tremble beneath his fingers and also the coldness of his skin. He wasn’t. He could see the tears in the edges of his eyes, the pain in his features. Something was wrong. He searched his face, his body and quickly saw his tense arm, clutched to his side. “Your arm. What happened?” He asked and carefully reached forward to hold him by the elbow and Magnus shrugged his left side back.

“Don’t. Please.” He whimpered, sounding a bit too desperate than he aimed for and Alec quickly pulled his hand away again, not wanting to hurt the warlock, but he wouldn’t let that go, just for now.

“Thank you for saving me, Magnus.” Alec’s voice was filled with devotion and Magnus looked up at him, his eyes shimmering. “You saved me first.” Magnus said as a matter of fact and then chuckled lightly. Alec chimed in and nodded, he reached for Magnus right hand and they held onto eachother tightly. “How did you know where I was?”

“The seelie in the basement.” Alec explained and stroked the back of Magnus hand with his thumb.

“Is he still alive?” Magnus knew Alec’s temper by now.

“Nah…” He answered, bobbing his head from one side to the other. “Kind of.” Magnus beamed at him, for the first time able to smile and actually forget the pain in his arm since he awoke here, before his body began to shudder again. Alec’s features turned concerned once more. 

“Come on guys!” Alec’s head shot to Jace and then nodded. He wrapped his arms around Magnus body and picked him up from the ground, holding him tight to his chest. Magnus didn’t feel as humiliated as he usually would, he gladly accepted Alec’s help and support, he wasn’t sure if he was able to walk anyways. He was utterly drained and melted into the comfort, letting himself be carried back to the Institute.

\---

“I have everything ready, Alec.” Izzy said as soon as Alec stepped through the portal, the warlock in his arms. She had prepared the Infirmary bed for Magnus to check on him right away. Alec followed her and then placed the almost unconscious warlock on the bed carefully. He opened his eyes and clenched them together again from the brightness stinging his pupils. “Help me undress him.” He heard a female voice say from his right side and looked aside to see Izzy hover above him and then felt hands on him, tugging on the brim of his pullover, he felt another pair of hands on his back, lifting him up and steady him. “Magnus, can you lift your right arm?”

He tried but nothing happened, his body wasn’t listening, he shook his head and then felt Izzy lifting it and pulling his arm out of his sleeve and over his head which left him half naked, his body began to shudder almost violently, he felt as cold as ice and undressing wasn’t helping. “He is cold, Izzy.” He heard Alec’s desperate voice and only then realised he was there too. He was the one steadying him.

“I know, but we have to do this.” She groaned and shot him a frustrated look. Both eased Magnus injured arm out of the sleeve and gasped almost simultaneously. “By the angel.” Izzy whispered and Alec tried to peel his eyes away from the gaping and bloody wound, but couldn’t. He stroked Magnus trembling body roughly to keep him somewhat warm. He wasn’t liking this, not one bit. “It’s obviously broken. We will have to operate it.” Magnus then shook his head as good as possible.

“I can, I can repair it. When my magic is back to normal.” He stuttered and Alec shook his head vehemently.

“You want us to leave you like this? With a broken arm? No way.” Alec protested and Izzy contemplated Magnus words and then turned to her brother with concerned eyes.

“He is right though; magic will heal it much better than if we operate it. It will be quicker also.” Alec straightened himself.

“He will have his magic back, when…tomorrow? You want him to suffer until tomorrow? No! I will not allow this.” Magnus rose his eyes to Alec and patted his chest weakly to make him look at him.

“I will be okay, Alexander. Just give me something for the pain.” Alec stared at him and then back at Izzy who had a faint smile. Why was nobody ever listening to him? He rolled his eyes and then took Magnus hand in his, holding it against his chest tightly. He knew there was no changing Magnus mind, he was too stubborn. He looked back at Izzy, while still holding Magnus hand.

“Give him something strong, okay?” Izzy nodded and then quickly rushed away. “You are insane…” Alec whispered to Magnus who managed to give him a crooked smile.

“Maybe.” He whispered and Alec couldn’t help but shake his head, amused and annoyed.

Izzy returned and then handed him two pills and some water, he gulped it down quickly. She then disinfected the wound, earning a hiss from Magnus, before bandaging the wound at least. Magnus clenched his jaw. “Thank you.” He whispered once she was done and she gave him a warm hug, very careful not to hurt him and then left the two of them, giving Alec a sideway glance.

Alec made no attempts to stay any longer or ask for permission, he quickly and carefully pushed his arms below Magnus body to lift him up into his arms again, Magnus wrapped his good arm around Alec’s chest and clutched his fingers into Alec’s neck, he leant his head against Alec’s chest, hearing his steady heartbeat. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply.

Alec carried him to their room and then lay him down on the bed carefully and heard a soft snore. Magnus was asleep. Alec smiled, relieved and thankful. He didn’t want Magnus to suffer any more, sleeping was good for him. He pulled off Magnus shoes one after the other and then pulled off his pants. He was still completely cold and Alec didn’t need to think twice about it.

He quickly undressed himself, got into bed and pulled the sleeping warlock into his arms to warm him up with his own body heat, gently stroking his hands over the soft skin of his back, his chest pressed against his own.

He had promised to himself to protect Magnus, to keep him safe and then ended up being saved by him. He was hurt. Exhausted. Drained. He didn’t deserve any of this and he hated it with every cell of his body. Those damn seelies. They would pay for what they have done. And he will get his answers, one way or the other. He would not let them hurt him again. Ever. He kissed the top of his head softly and then closed his eyes, exhaustion taking over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glad you made it through this bumpy ride, I know it was hard. Seeing our Magnus suffer is always hard 🙄 I hope you enjoyed it anyways! Magnus saved "his" shadowhunter, how amazing is that? He is more powerful than he thinks 😍 Thanks so much for all the kudos and comments! Please, continue doing so, I love hearing your feedback! 😘


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “We all came to save you; you didn’t do it for the others though.” Alec whispered, pressing the matter, completely knowing what he was doing to Magnus, who lifted his eyes again to look at Alec, only seeing the outlines of his features.
> 
> A little sheepish smile appeared on the warlock’s lips. No, he didn’t. “They aren’t my responsibility.” Magnus whispered almost shy and Alec inhaled a bit too loud and returned his smile with hope in his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://ibb.co/mH1MBCC)

Magnus awoke with a loud gasp, as a tearing pain rushed through his whole body, his arm was throbbing and felt like someone was ripping it apart; he clenched his jaw and hissed as he inhaled deeply while holding his left wrist until his skin turned white, he couldn’t get any closer to the source of the pain. He felt something shift beside him and then a warm hand on his waist.

“Hey, what’s wrong? Did the pain return?” Alec’s voice was raspy, there was no doubt he had been sleeping mere seconds ago. He was also very close; Magnus could feel his breath against his skin as he talked. Magnus opened his eyes and only then noticed where he was, he was in bed with Alec and he was in fact very close to him, right beside him. And naked. His arm could be torn off, his mind would still always register Alec’s naked body apparently. Quite fascinating.

“Yes, the pills must have lost their-“ he stopped to breath in long and deep and Alec stroked his waist softly to comfort him. 

“Shhh…it’s okay. Breath.” Magnus nodded and concentrated on his breathing, hearing how Alec breathed along with him, like in some birth preparation course. “Is your magic back?” Alec asked after a few minutes of quiet breathing. Magnus let go off his wrist which he had clutched painfully hard and then snapped his fingers, blue sparkles appearing at the tips. He exhaled relieved. His magic was back. He nodded even though Alec was very much able to see it himself.

He straightened himself to sit, the covers pooling in his lap and Alec watched him carefully. Magnus rose his hand to the bandages and gently pulled them off, it stuck to his open wound at the end and he let out some strangled sounds as he peeled it off his skin. Alec quickly sat up and wrapped his arm around the warlocks back to let him know he was there.

Magnus was thankful it was too dark to see the wound completely and just hovered his hand above it before sending his magic towards the wound. His magic sneaked around his arm like a snake and covered it completely, which didn’t feel too bad, it was a tingle. But then the tension began, his whole upper arm felt like something was smashing it, it was an almost unbearable pressure. His bones began to tremble beneath his skin and Magnus clenched his eyes shut as hard as possible. Just a bit longer, just a bit.

“I can’t.” He stopped, whimpering and trying hard not to cry in front of Alec. He almost wished he was alone to let his pain out.

“Yes, you can, Magnus.” Alec said with determination and then leant closer. “Try again.” Magnus shook his head, but complied, he repeated what he did before until he felt the tension increase again. The tremble of his bones. It was too much, it was too painful. He felt Alec’s hand slide into his own free hand and Magnus gripped it hard. Just…a bit longer. You can do it. He was pressed close to Alec’s body by him and Alec breathed slowly against the side of Magnus neck, his chin resting on his shoulder, forehead against his temple.

His bones began moving and with a loud crack that echoed the room snapped back into place. “Arghhhhhhhhhhhhh!” He screamed, his head thrown back as his whole body jerked violently, he fell back onto the bed, rolled against Alec and into a ball who immediately wrapped his whole body around Magnus, keeping him safe, showing him, he was there with him. Magnus cried silently, his lips pressed together while Alec stroked every part of his body, he could reach to soothe him.

“You did it. It’s fixed, Magnus.” He praised into his ear and kissed it gently. Alec caressed the former wound that was now nothing but a blueish bruise. Magnus dug his face into the pillows to hide himself as he concentrated on his breathing only, the former pain dissipated to a dull throb.

Alec lay down next to him, holding him close still and tried to peel the pillow away from Magnus face who quickly brushed his tears away. It was still too dark for Alec to notice, fortunately, so he opened his eyes, seeing Alec right in front of him on the pillow, facing eachother. Of course, Alec noticed the tears right away but decided wisely not to speak about it.

“Thank you…” He murmured, his throat feeling dry.

“You don’t have to thank me for that. I didn’t do anything.” Alec returned regretfully and again lay his arm around the warlock to stroke his back lazily. “I’ve never met a person more powerful, strong and brave as you, Magnus.” Magnus snorted and managed to laugh a bit.

“Sure. Whatever you say Shadowhunter.”

“Hey. I am being serious. What you did there, with the Seelie Queen. It was amazing.” Alec’s voice was filled with devotion for the warlock, even Magnus noticed.

“Well, maybe. I couldn’t just let her hurt my-“ He gasped and swallowed quickly. Oh god, he almost made this awkward again. Alec stared at him, his breath hitching as he heard the slip up, his heartbeat increased and hammered wildly against his chest. “I couldn’t let her hurt you. You came to save me; it was the least I could do.”

“We all came to save you; you didn’t do it for the others though.” Alec whispered, pressing the matter, completely knowing what he was doing to Magnus, who lifted his eyes again to look at Alec, only seeing the outlines of his features.

A little sheepish smile appeared on the warlock’s lips. No, he didn’t. “They aren’t my responsibility.” Magnus whispered almost shy and Alec inhaled a bit too loud and returned his smile with hope in his eyes.

“And I am?” Magnus let his teeth show as he grinned brightly and then hid his face into the pillows again. He knew Alec couldn’t see his blush but he just felt too shy to face him right now. Why, for god’s sake? He was never shy. What was that Shadowhunter doing to him.

It was one thing to kiss Alec, another man, which was odd enough, but expressing feelings for him was something completely different. He didn’t want to come across cheesy, he only knew how to express feelings to a girl and they liked it romantic, but would Alec think he was weird if he did? He didn’t know how to express his feelings to a guy the proper way. But he knew he definitely had feelings for him, a lot actually. But saying them made it too real. And they only began, whatever it is they had going. Was he supposed to have feelings already? Was he too forward? Maybe Alec just wanted some adventure with the warlock.

“Magnus.” Alec whispered a bit amused and waited until Magnus rose his face from the pillow to lean forward and press his lips against Magnus, catching him a bit off guard. Their lips melted together, moved with the utmost gentleness, filled with nothing but love. Magnus hummed quietly, feeling the tingle in his lips rushing down his whole body into his toes. The feeling was overwhelming. How could their kisses be better with every day?

He pressed himself closer to Alec and tried to show all the feelings he had through the kiss, maybe he could tell him this way. He lifted his left hand to Alec’s face and brushed it along his skin and into his hair before hissing against Alec’s lips as the movement caused a stinging pain in his arm.

Alec pulled back from the kiss and put his hand above Magnus arm carefully. Both lay their heads back on the pillows and gazed into the other’s eyes for a moment in comforting silence.

He couldn’t be faking this right? Alec looked just like he felt. His eyes showed pure adoration, devotion, love. He surely wasn’t seeking an adventure, he liked him, maybe just as much as Magnus liked him.

Magnus tentatively reached for Alec’s hand and interlocked their fingers before pulling it between their chests and playing with his fingers. They were very long he noticed, his skin was rough from all the training and fighting. They looked huge in comparison to his own. It was so weird to touch a hand so much bigger instead of smaller. To hold a man’s hand. The thought was still so weird to him, even though they spend so much time together, are close to eachother, kiss eachother, he was still a man. He had feelings for a man. He was in bed with a man. And it felt damn good.

“I am sorry for what happened yesterday. I should have taken better care of myself. I shouldn’t have been so naïve, I knew something was off with that Meliorn guy, but I noticed it too late.” Magnus voice was still a whisper, he just had to explain, had to apologize for causing so much trouble yet again, he didn’t see the way Alec tensed in front of him.

He was still completely irritated by what had happened the past day, he didn’t know why they had kidnapped him, what the Seelie Queen wanted from him, but thinking about it made his head hurt.

“Meliorn? What did Meliorn have to do with this?” Magnus blinked a few times and thought about if he made a mistake in telling him. No, he had a right to know.

“Meliorn was the one who kidnapped me and brought me to the Seelie Realm. He was the reason of my broken arm.” Even in the darkness he could see Alec’s eyes darken and the frown on his brow.

Meliorn. That son a bitch. Alec knew he couldn’t trust that Seelie, he never did, he was manipulative and selfish. Since he had dated Izzy, he didn’t like that guy and he felt confirmed in his beliefs and hate towards that Seelie. How dare him hurt Magnus, how dare him kidnap him. He offered him everything, opened his doors for him, listened to his concerns and complains and that is how he thanked him. That slick Seelie would pay for this.

“He said he didn’t want to do it, that he was following orders and he said he was sorry.” Magnus added, feeling like he should. He knew Meliorn was sorry and he knew Alec was about to explode right now, he could see the different emotions even in the shadows.

“He can be sorry all he wants; he will have to deal with the consequences of his actions and explain himself.” Magnus nodded and knew he couldn’t pull Alec off his path anyway. And what should he care? After all, Meliorn was the reason all of this had happened, he maybe deserved what was coming for him.

“I feel so humiliated. Kidnapped by a Seelie. I’m a warlock. And then having you, Izzy and the others rescue me. I hate that feeling of having to rely on others to take care of me.” Alec lifted his head, his anger subsiding and froze to the words. He had heard them before. Magnus had said those exact same words before, he was sure of that. It felt like a déjà vu. And it again showed him how much Magnus was still the same man, the same mind, the same thoughts.

“It’s okay to rely on others for once, let others take care of you.” He chuckled lightly as he realised, he was quoting himself, but stopped quickly as he knew Magnus didn’t know. Alec let the fingertips of his free hand slide down Magnus spine until his waistband and back up. Magnus shuddered lightly as goosebumps covered his skin. Alec repeated the gesture, seeing his reaction and Magnus felt his dick twitch with interest, silently cursing himself for it. This wasn’t the right time.

Alec’s hand crawled over his side and to his abs where they roamed around his soft skin, brushing over the skin where his navel should be. “Can I ask you something?” Alec sounded uncertain but Magnus quickly assured him.

“Of course, anything.” He was more than happy Alec stopped his roaming hand; he was already half hard by now.

“Where is your navel?” Magnus blinked his eyes a few times.

“I don’t have one.” He replied almost non-caring.

“But- you…you have, I mean.” Alec stuttered.

“It’s one of my warlock marks. I can glamour it if you like?” Magnus offered, feeling that Alec was uncomfortable. Though for different reasons.

“No. Please don’t. I like it. I like you the way you are. Eyes and no navel and all. Everything.” He rushed. He didn’t want Magnus to think he didn’t like it. He was just a bit startled by that revelation. He never knew Magnus had two marks, apparently Magnus had always glamoured it around him, but why? He shouldn’t feel as hurt by that as he did. Didn’t he trust him enough? Or maybe he just didn’t notice. Yes, that must be it. He told himself that was it.

“You are odd, Alexander.” Alec again tensed for a second and Magnus chuckled.

“Why? Because I like you the way you are? Why is that odd?” He asked confused.

“Because nobody does.” Now it was Alec’s time to blink his eyes. Magnus was still so young and already thought that way? Who were those idiots making him believe he was ugly, that he was different? Knowing that this had started way earlier than he had thought was shattering.

“I do. You are perfect.” Magnus huffed some air out of his nose to Alec’s voice.

“I am far from perfect. Did you see my ears? I would fly away if I wasn’t so heavy.” Alec laughed loudly, his head thrown back and Magnus couldn’t help but laugh along. Alec wiped his watery eyes after a few moments and shook his head.

“You are ridiculous. You have tiny ears.” Alec’s shoulders still shook and Magnus reached for the curve of his own ear, flapping it back and forth as if they were wings and Alec fell back on the bed, bursting with laughter again.

“Flop flop flop.” Magnus murmured, hovering above Alec while making his ears ‘fly’ and Alec turned around on the bed and away from Magnus, his warm laugh echoing through the room.

“Stop! Magnus. Please.” He turned back around and wiped his now wet face, the tears sliding down his cheeks. Magnus stopped and bit his lower lip, a wide grin on his face. He loved to see and hear Alec laugh; it was the most beautiful thing. His face just lit up, his smile splitting his face in half, his eyes crinkling on the edges. He would never get tired of that. And it was totally worth to make a fool out of himself to have that result.

“You have a beautiful laugh. You are beautiful…” Alec had his lips parted to get breath into his lungs, a still amused smile on them as he watched Magnus shimmering eyes, from left to right and back to the left. Magnus felt his heartbeat, wild and loud; he eyed him carefully waiting for his reaction and almost fearing it all the same. He just couldn’t help it, he had to say it.

Alec reached for Magnus face with both hands and pulled him down to him slowly while lifting his head from the pillow to meet him half way and Magnus felt his plump lips press against his own once more. Magnus tilted his head a little and parted his own lips, feeling Alec’s tongue immediately reaching forward to lick his upper lip. Magnus returned the gesture and their wet tongues danced between their lips. Alec gasped softly and Magnus inhaled the air he breathed.

They broke the kiss to look into the other’s eyes, their lips kiss swollen and red.

Magnus felt the urge to tell him about his inexperience bubble up, he could feel the words in his mouth. Tell him. He will understand. He likes you. He needed to know before this would escalate again.

“Alec I-I have to tell you something.” Alec saw that Magnus averted his eyes and stroked his face eagerly.

“It’s okay. I know.” Alec interrupted him. “I am sorry I pushed you so much, this is new to you, I am new to you, I mean we are new to eachother.” He corrected quickly. “I shouldn’t have asked you to have sex with me the other day. It was stupid. You obviously didn’t want it yet.”

Magnus frowned. No, this was not it. “No Alexander, I did- this is not what I-” Alec pressed his finger against Magnus lips to shush him.

“You don’t have to say it. I understand and I’m sorry. We will have sex when you are ready and I know deep down that it will be worth the wait.” Alec smirked and his eyes sparkled for a moment.

When…they had sex? Worth the wait? Magnus pressed his lips into a thin line and felt speechless. Shit. This was far from how he wanted this conversation to go. He wanted to tell him so he wouldn’t have his hopes up high and now he was only even more excited. He thought Magnus was worth the wait. He. Fuck. Magnus lowered his eyes with disappointment, he had finally gathered enough courage to tell him and then that.

Alec shoved Magnus down to the bed and wrapped his long arms back around him and Magnus still felt frozen in place.

He wanted sex. What if Magnus didn’t want sex? What if he never was ready? Or had the courage to do it. That last time was still very present in his mind and he hated how he had fucked it up.

“Are you okay?” Magnus nodded slowly and then shook himself out of his thoughts.

“Yeah, I’m tired, just great. I mean, I’m great. Just tired.” He stuttered and cringed internally.

“You should get some rest. Let us sleep.” Magnus swallowed and then nodded again, yes sleep. Rest. He exhaled deeply and then slithered closer to Alec who came closer as well, their chests flush. “Good night, Magnus.” Alec kissed his forehead and then brushed the edge of Magnus ear, making a little flopping noise and Magnus smiled, his nerves instantly calming.

“Good night, Alexander.” He chuckled and buried his head under Alec’s chin.

\---

Magnus tapped his fingers against the table in an off-beat way, loudly and chaotically as he ate his lunch in the cafeteria, completely in thoughts.

“Magnus. Please!” Clary pleaded and made a face. “Will you just stop it and tell me what’s going on?” They were alone, she was sitting on her usual spot opposite him. They had talked about yesterday for the most of the time and Clary was glad that Magnus seemed to be fine.

Alec had been gone all morning, not really telling him what it was about. They met briefly after breakfast when Alec said he would be back after lunch and if Magnus had some time for him then. After checking his completely stuffed calendar Magnus agreed to squeeze him in between ‘staring at the ceiling and dancing in the garden’.

Magnus blushed and stopped his nervous finger-dance, which made Clary even more suspicious. She leaned forward on her crossed arms to get closer to him. “What is it? You know you can tell me anything, right?”

He looked down at her for a moment, before eyeing his surroundings and then turning his attention back to the redhead, he leant forward too. He wasn’t sure how to go about this but really, he couldn’t think of any other way. He needed answers and he lost his damn phone in the Seelie Realm.

“In the library…are there any books about sexuality?” Magnus whispered and Clary’s eyes widened. She gaped and backed off a little, not sure where this was going. She then looked around herself too and lowered her body once more, even more so than before.

“I don’t think there are. I never looked to be honest. Why do you need them?” Magnus felt his ears starting to glow.

“I need to find some information. On things. Like instructions.” Clary narrowed her eyes.

“Instructions on what? Maybe I can help?” They were almost face to face from how much they crouched on the table now.

Well, he was almost positive that Clary knew nothing about anal sex, at least he didn’t want to think about if she did. But who else could he ask? Jace, Simon, Raphael, a big no. Izzy as Alec’s sister? No! There was only one left. Clary.

But if he would ask her about it, she would know how inexperienced he was and that would ruin his perfectly crafted reputation. But would she go and tell the others? Well, she had never done anything that made him believe he wasn’t able to trust her. He could get his answers without reading endless books.

“Sex?”

“Ehm…I am positive you had more sex than me, so I don’t know how…oh wait, you are not talking about that kind of sex, right? You mean…gay sex?” She whispered; her cheeks flushed. “I never had…I don’t know anything about it.” She gasped and then tried to collect herself. “I mean I can try to help, but…what is your question? Aren’t you…enjoying it?” She grimaced and Magnus could see the discomfort on her face.

He didn’t even feel surprised by her reaction, they all thought he was that experienced bisexual warlock. But she clearly wasn’t the right person to ask and he definitely didn’t mean to make her uncomfortable. “I am sorry. Forget it.” Magnus shook his head and leant back, but then felt a petite and warm hand slide on top of his own.

“No, it’s fine Magnus, please tell me. I want to help.” Clary saw how Magnus closed himself off and cursed herself for showing the reaction she did, she was supposed to be his friend, to be there for him, after all he had not many friends in this ‘dimension’ to talk to and actually, having THE Magnus Bane ask her about sexual advice shouldn’t make her as proud as she was. She looked up at him softly, trying to show him that he could trust her.

Magnus bit the inside of his cheeks for a while, contemplating. She is your friend Magnus; she won’t judge you. “I don’t know if I would enjoy it, I have never- I haven’t. I have never been with a man.” He stuttered and Clary’s eyes almost popped out of their sockets.

“What?!” She shrieked loudly 

“Shhh! Will you just…” He scolded and quickly hid his face in his palms to hide himself, regretting he had said it immediately. He peeked through his fingers and saw her digging her fingernails into the table, her palms spread on it. She looked shocked and Magnus gasped, okay maybe she would judge him.

“Sorry, I just-I didn’t know. I thought you were…”

“Experienced?” He offered and she nodded. “Most think that, yeah. I really don’t know why.” But Clary did. She needed a few moments to catch her breath.

“Wait…but, why do you ask?” Her face showed confusion. “Are you seeing someone? Is it Alec?” Oh, was it that obvious already? Well then…okay. He nodded and then nibbled on his lower lip before running his hands through his hair and clutching his strands nervously. Admitting that he was ‘seeing’ a guy was new.

She shrieked again and then literally beamed. “Alec is your first? Oh god.” She awwwwed loudly and Magnus sent her a dangerous glare. “I can’t believe this. It is just meant to be.” She gasped and Magnus furrowed his brow. “Okay, I am sorry.” She cleared her throat and then lowered herself again to whisper.

“Why don’t you talk with Alec about this? I am sure he can be of better help than me.” Magnus tried to look any way but Clary’s and suddenly found the little flower on the table extremely fascinating.

“Maybe he doesn’t know.” He murmured, not looking her way.

“He doesn’t know?” She repeated and Magnus sighed, feeling the need to clarify.

“I was planning to tell him, but then things escalated, twice. We tried to have sex the other day and it was horrible. I didn’t know what I was doing and he kept pushing and I-“ Clary straightened herself immediately, an odd sparkle in her eyes.

“Oh my god, he forced you to have sex with him?” She grabbed his hand tightly. “Are you okay??”

Magnus widened his eyes, his mouth agape. Okay, that might have come out wrong. “No! He wasn’t. It wasn’t like that. I wanted it too, he wasn’t forcing me to do anything, I just didn’t know how to do it and ended up hurting him.” He felt like a complete failure the moment the words left his mouth.

“Okay…wow, I was so close to killing him. He might be tall but I am quick.” Magnus nodded; he didn’t doubt that. “Magnus, you have to tell him. He is probably behaving that way because he doesn’t know you are practically a ‘virgin’. He thinks you have been with others, we all did. He would definitely treat you differently if he knew!”

“But that is exactly my point! I don’t want him to treat me any different.” Magnus gasped.

“Why not? What are you afraid of? There is nothing wrong with being a virgin Magnus. I don’t know Alec like Izzy or Jace do, we always had a kind of complicated relationship. He might seem cold sometimes but I am sure he will understand and be more careful the next time.” Magnus wasn’t as sure as Clary about that.

She didn’t know how Alec could get; she didn’t know how needy he was. Alec hadn’t asked for sex, to make love with him, he wanted Magnus to fuck him, simple as that. He wanted to be properly fucked and not some awkward warlock in bed that didn’t know what to do. He was expecting him to be good. It was frustrating, the whole situation was just messed up.

Magnus hummed and forked his food. He will need to get his answers another way, he was determined to learn all about it before they got down to it again and Magnus would give him what he needed.

“Okay, I won’t tell you what to do, it’s your decision.” Clary’s voice was soft and Magnus granted her a little, tired smile. “If you decide not to, I would suggest to just distract him with a blow job the next time he wants sex. That always works.” Her voice back to normal now as she began eating her long-forgotten salad.

Magnus coughed loudly, choking on his own spit. He didn’t see that one coming. “Oh, right. You haven’t done that either.” She pursed her lips and then smiled cheekily. “At least I can help you with that one, if you want to know?”

The thought of a blow job had never crossed his mind to be honest. Great, yet another thing Magnus had no idea about. Would Alec want that too? Would he want to do that? To have a dick in his mouth? The thought was weird, but not as frightening as the sex topic was. Maybe, he should try to get information on it when she offered it so shamelessly. It couldn’t get more embarrassing than it already was after all.

“Okay, it’s not that difficult actually. Since you are a man yourself, you could just go for what you like done to yourself and do the same…for Alec.” She stuttered on the last part, she was okay with talking about this, completely, but knowing it was about Alec was a bit odd still.

Great advice, if only he had ever received a blow job in his life. Charlotte had never even gone an inch close to his crotch with her mouth, saying it was something dirty to do. Unfortunately. He had tried to persuade her many times but gave up at one point. And it was something he deeply regretted. Of course, he respected her wish but the need to feel what it was like was something that had haunted him his whole life. He had heard the most amazing stories about it. Urgh.

“Are we talking about blow jobs?” Izzy asked, her tray in hands while sitting down next to Magnus, she didn’t even look at them, like the word didn’t startle her at all. Magnus tensed and straightened himself. Oh no.

“Yeah, we are.” Clary answered and chewed on some potatoes. “Give me your best advices, come on.”

“Let me think.” Izzy stuffed her mouth with some steak and looked at Clary in a way that made it seem a perfectly normal topic for lunch. And Magnus feared it was. He felt the blush crawl up his cheeks again. He was okay with talking to Clary about this, but Izzy?

“The most important thing is to be careful not to use your teeth and don’t go too far down it will make you gag. Of course, if you have no gag reflex than swallow away. I happen to have none. Oh and use your tongue a lot, the boys love it.” Magnus froze completely and watched how Clary nodded to Izzy’s statement. They seemed to be used to chatting about that stuff, so explicitly together, he didn’t know if he felt envy or disgust. He would like to have someone to talk about those things too, but then again even the thought made him cringe.

“I have, I will just work the rest with my hand, I just wish it would be a bit quicker for them to get there, my throat runs dry before they even get close.” Clary grimaced and now Izzy nodded. Magnus eyed the girls, regretting his life choices. He made mental notes though, not knowing if he might need them sometime, when a thought struck him.

Magnus eyed Clary intensely, not knowing how to ask this without having Izzy be suspicious. She understood the question in his eyes fortunately.

“Do you prefer to swallow or to spit it out?” She asked Izzy, while giving Magnus a sideway glance, answering his unspoken question.

“Spit it out, definitely! I don’t like that taste at all. I don’t understand how people can swallow that.” Magnus gulped heavily.

“Well, it’s not THAT bad, it depends. I do sometimes.” She gave Magnus another look. “I think you have to try it out and see if you like it. But it’s wiser to stop before, it made me choke several times.” Magnus didn’t know how to feel. He felt a mixture of horror and interest, felt like running away and listening all the same. This was horrible and he didn’t want to be here, but how else would he get any information? So, he actually had to be grateful for their shameless way and he was very grateful for Clary to help him so secretively. She really was a good friend.

“What are you guys talking about?” Jace asked, sitting down next to Clary after giving her a peck on the cheek. Magnus jerked off the chair immediately and darted out of the cafeteria. No, enough was enough. It was bad enough having Izzy there but in no dimension ever would he talk to Jace about blow jobs. He really needed some time to himself now. He closed the door behind himself once back inside his room and snuggled himself against Chairman Meow on the bed, trying to process what just happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooooooo, there was a lot of much needed talking! Sweet, honest and awkward talking. Did you cringe along with Magnus? 😂 Well, at least he has some answers now and a friend to talk to. His talk with Alec didn't turn out as good though, but what do I hear there? His responsibility? Naw 😍 Wonder what Alec's plans are with Magnus. Well, we'll see! Thanks so much for all the lovely comments! You guys are the best, I know I repeat myself! MUA! 😘


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hey, do you have a moment?” Andrew asked once he peeked inside and Alec nodded, pushing his tablet aside.
> 
> Andrew walked closer and put something on Alec’s table, eyeing it curiously Alec noticed it was Magnus phone right away. “Oh, damn I completely forgot that.” Alec rushed and grabbed the phone.
> 
> “I noticed, you don’t actually need it anymore I guess, but it’s unlocked.” Alec looked up and smiled, thanking him silently. Andrew nodded and then turned to leave, closing the door behind himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://ibb.co/M78d7s4)

Alec sat in his office in the morning, checking on the situation with the seelies, his desk was covered in reports that he swiftly went through. He knew the moment the seelie said they had kidnapped Magnus that things would go downhill with their relationship. And of course, they were far from peace now. He had complaints from both the seelies and the shadowhunters piled up in front of him, yes, a lot of people were injured yesterday a few by Alec’s own hand. But they didn’t start it. They didn’t want this. It wasn’t their fault.

He wasn’t in the mood to even read the files; they could all go to hell. The Seelie Queen first. And then Meliorn. But he couldn’t think that way, he couldn’t act like the hurt fiancé but like the Head of the New York Institute. Alec quickly wrote his own reports on the past day and then gasped, he felt like they were close to war with the seelies if they not already were. This was a disaster.

He sent a fire message to Meliorn, asking him to come by the Institute tomorrow. He didn’t know that Alec knew he was involved, he would maybe still trust him, being the seelie representative that he was and come so they could talk. And he could beat the crap out of him. Alec cracked his neck and pursed his lips, trying hard to keep his anger in check.

He sent a few more fire messages to the other downworld leaders informing them on what had happened and also to the clave. He stated that they had kidnapped one of them and it escalated. They didn’t need to know it was Magnus, for now. He would need to explain it to them face to face first. He leant back in his chair once he was done, a mild headache already growing below his scalp and then pulled out his phone.

[Alec Lightwood – 06:05am] Hey Iz, I have plans for today, can you take over for me after lunch?

[Izzy Lightwood – 06:07am] Sure. No problem.

[Alec Lightwood – 06:09am] Great, thank you.

Alec pushed the phone down his pants and then wrote some instructions for her for the day, before he let his mind wander to different things. He wanted to take a day off and spend it with Magnus; Magnus needed some distraction, needed to get his mind off this mess. And also, he really wanted to spend time with him. He deserved that. All of it.

A deep grumble of his stomach reminded him to eat, it was still time for breakfast so he quickly got up to head for the cafeteria to swallow something down, he briefly met Magnus on his way out and asked him to meet him after lunch, which he agreed on. He then quickly headed back to his office to do some more research.

A knock made him look up from his tablet a few hours later. “Come in.”

“Hey, do you have a moment?” Andrew asked once he peeked inside and Alec nodded, pushing his tablet aside.

Andrew walked closer and put something on Alec’s table, eyeing it curiously Alec noticed it was Magnus phone right away. “Oh, damn I completely forgot that.” Alec rushed and grabbed the phone.

“I noticed, you don’t actually need it anymore I guess, but it’s unlocked.” Alec looked up and smiled, thanking him silently. Andrew nodded and then turned to leave, closing the door behind himself.

Alec watched the object in his hands suspiciously, his lips pursed. His thumb brushed over the display before it brightened and showed Magnus home screen. He quickly looked up and stared at the door, waiting for it to open and then looked back down. He hummed quietly and then put the phone down on the table to lean back in his chair, hands crossed in front of his belly. He swayed from left to right with his chair, eyes fixed on the phone. He shouldn’t be looking into his phone. It’s private.

A hesitant finger darted forward and the tip tapped the button to show his last actions on the phone, before he quickly turned his chair around to stare out of the window. No, he couldn’t do that. This was not okay. Things didn’t end well the last time he peeked into Magnus private things. He moved his feet one after the other to have the chair circle back around again and then rushed off the chair and to the door to lock it. He turned back and stared at the phone again. He felt his heartbeat increase and sweat form on his neck.

Don’t.

He slowly made his way back to the desk and stood above it, looking down with a sideway glance while his fingers slid across the display. He looked around himself, knowing very well he was alone and just locked the door. He sat back down on his chair and then grabbed the phone with both hands. He was just going to check Magnus messages and emails, maybe they could help him understand what was happening and why it happened. Yeah, of course he was messaging with the Seelie Queen. Rational thinking has long flown out of the window.

The messenger app, as well as the internet popped up and he quirked a brow before tapping the internet tab curiously, yes that would help him in the case. He had to check; it was his duty.

Alec almost dropped the phone the moment an obviously gay porn site appeared in front of his eyes, a video in the middle, showing a still of two men above eachother. His mouth went slack. Magnus had been watching porn? In the garden? He blinked his eyes a few times and then tapped play, well, he was not curious. Nope. Alec never watched porn; some may call him lame but it just wasn’t his thing. He knew Jace did, the blond one wasn’t even hiding it, he had waltzed in on him more than once. Even Izzy did, he had unfortunately overheard one of her phonecalls with Simon, discussing what they were going to watch later. He couldn’t look her in the eyes for days.

He tried it once or twice, but he just couldn’t get himself to be interested in watching two strangers fuck, it was completely lacking feelings and even if he wouldn’t admit it, Alec needed feelings to get aroused.

A few minutes passed by while he watched the video and listened to their moans. His dick twitched several times but nothing more happened.

His mind wandered to the fact that Magnus had been watching this exact video, probably turned on, which was on the other hand turning Alec on quickly and somehow this video wasn’t as dull as it seemed mere seconds ago. His pants began to tent below the phone. He slithered further down the chair, almost hiding below the desk.

His eyes quickly wandered back to the door, fearing someone would knock, he almost expected Jace to dart in any second as it was his habit. He pressed his legs together, trying to calm himself down, he couldn’t be jerking off now, he had things to do. Important things. Things…things…

His right hand slid down his abdomen and into his waistband where he grabbed the base of his cock, lazily rubbing himself. Well, this wasn’t so bad actually. He closed his eyes, images of Magnus in the garden, watching this video running through his mind on loop; he gasped and picked up the speed.

He peeked through narrow eyeslits and watched the guys bang eachother, trying to imagine them being Magnus and him; he kept his eyes half closed to not see the guys clearly. He spread his legs below the table, almost lying now and closed his eyes again, the smacking noises his precum caused joined in on the stranger’s moans and he felt his muscles tense up, his thighs begin to tremble. 

A loud knock made him twitch violently, catching him completely off guard.

“NOT NOW JACE. FUCK.” He screamed utterly desperate and just kept on jerking himself, too far into this now. Jace can stand there all he wants; he didn’t care anymore at this point; his mind only focused on one goal.

“I’m sorry, I will go.” Magnus voice was so quiet he almost missed it and he stopped immediately, grabbing the base of his cock painfully hard to not cum. He crouched forward and inhaled deeply, trying desperately to pull himself away from the edge.

“NO, wait. Just…” He hissed through gritted teeth and then groaned a bit too loud. His orgasm subsided before it had reached him and he should feel relieved but felt devastated instead. He pulled his hand out of his pants, wiping it on his thigh, before standing up to hurry for the door, unlocking and opening it quickly. 

“Magnus! Wait.” Magnus who was almost around the corner already, stopped and then turned back around. “I’m sorry I thought you were-“ His voice was hoarse and he tried to wet the inside of his dry throat.

“I didn’t mean to disturb you, it’s past lunch time already.” Magnus walked closer, giving him a tentative smile. He didn’t sound accusing but confused, he had thought Alec would pick him up half an hour ago. He noticed Alec’s flushed cheeks and blown pupils.

“Yes. Fuck, I forgot, I was lost in work.” He cleared his throat and tried to get his breathing in check and both could hear a faint moan echo through the office and outside his door. Alec closed the door, before looking at Magnus startled, who pressed his lips together trying to fight against the laugh that was pressing against them.

“What were you doing in there?” His face lit up, his words showing nothing but amusement, he knew exactly what Alec had been doing in there.

He had never watched porn before, not really, he got in contact with it the first time only yesterday when he was researching, but quickly stopped it again not daring to watch it. Oddly enough the sounds coming from Alec’s office reminded him a lot of that video. That was definitely something sexual and from the sounds of it, men.

“I-I…” he stuttered and then sighed loudly, letting his head drop and palms pressed against his face. “I’m sorry…”

“It’s okay, Alexander. I’m not going to scold you; you can do whatever you like. It’s not like I have never done that.” Alec lowered his hands and looked back at him, now standing an inch in front of him. “People have…urges.” He ended his speech, trying hard not to imagine Alec jerking off in that office, watching some porn. He wondered if he did that regularly.

“Yeah…still. I am sorry I forgot to pick you up. I was distracted and…” He rushed and wetted his lips. Secretly watching the porn, you had been watching on your phone after I made Andrew unlock it. Yes, maybe not say that.

“Was it something interesting?” Magnus asked, his voice low and deep. Probably more turned on than he should be.

Their eyes met and it was visible both pairs of eyes were filled with pure lust. It was way easier to talk to Alec about him, when Magnus wasn’t involved. Also, when Alec was the one flustered. He let his eyes dart down for a second, seeing the very visible bulge in his pants, he rose his eyes again, hoping Alec hadn’t noticed.

“Yes, it was…okay. I don’t usually- I never watch porn.” Magnus quirked his eyebrows up, not believing a word he was saying. But if he felt better saying that.

Alec cleared his throat again and then took a step back to oogle Magnus. He was dressed in a leather jacket and tight jeans, a plain white shirt and belt, boots and a necklace. “You look amazing.”

Magnus beamed at him and inhaled, making his chest swell. “Oh that, that is nothing.” He waved his hand nonchalant, like it didn’t take him an hour to get ready. He didn’t know where Alec wanted to go, so he went for casual.

“Ehm, will you maybe give me a moment?” Alec asked, pointing at the door and Magnus understood right away. That boner didn’t look like it was going to go away on its own.

“Sure.” Magnus answered, trying to sound non-caring, even though the thought of Alec going back in there to finish himself off made his own dick harden inside his pants. Alec gave him a quick, but shy smile and then went back into his office.

Magnus stood frozen for a moment while eyeing the doorknob intensely. Was he supposed to stand here and wait? Was he supposed to go somewhere else? He felt completely out of place and awkward. He snapped his fingers in a nervous habit and pursed his lips.

What if Alec wanted him to follow? Was that smile he gave him an invitation? Magnus replayed every little word and gesture they did the past 10 minutes, analysing the scene and coming to the conclusion that he should go inside and join him. He didn’t know what they were exactly but he felt like it was his duty to be of help. It would just be polite right? It wasn’t like he just wanted to go in there and see it all. No.

Before knowing what he was doing, Magnus grabbed the doorknob and opened it quickly to walk inside, closing it behind himself with a loud thud. Alec jumped in his chair and stared at Magnus, clearly not having expected him to come inside, Magnus noticed a little too late.

“Magnus, what?” He gasped and then instinctively pressed a hand down on his boxers where his fly was open. “What are you doing here?”

Magnus felt his heart in his throat, beating fast and painfully hard, okay this didn’t go as planned, but what did he plan? Maybe Alec smiling brightly when seeing Magnus, his cock in hand, yes that was about it. But no, he didn’t smile, he didn’t do anything, he was actually hiding himself. That was not the Alec he usually witnessed.

“Uhm…” Magnus looked around himself, feeling even more out of place and awkward than outside that door. That was a mistake. Okay, maybe just roll with it…pretend like this was what you wanted all along, come on you can do it…

“I thought you might need a helping hand?” He mused in his most confident voice, before locking the door behind himself without looking, Alec gulped visibly and Magnus thought he was going to faint.

“Yeah, sure…eh I mean. Yes, please.” Alec stuttered and Magnus saw his cheeks flush. Magnus sauntered closer slowly, stopping next to Alec who turned his chair to him, looking up expectantly with huge hazel eyes. Magnus could see his chest heave below his shirt, he was nervous, or excited.

His quickly grown confidence dissipated just as fast as it came, the closer he got to Alec the worse it got. His scent was enveloping him like a bubble, his eyes boring into him, his lips open and wet. What was he so pretty for? God damnit. Concentrate, Magnus!

He stepped into Alec’s personal space and then realised he had no idea how to do this. Was he supposed to kneel? Stand next to him? After a quick check of the situation Magnus put his hands on Alec’s broad shoulders and leant forward, while lifting his leg around Alec’s waist; Alec looked startled for a moment but then grabbed Magnus hips to help him until Magnus sat on Alec’s thighs.

Their eyes met, faces close to eachother and Magnus could feel Alec’s warm breath dance over his lips, he had to lower his head to look into his eyes while Alec had his head tilted back. Magnus felt Alec’s shaky hands roam over his back.

Magnus let his fingers slide down to the buttons of Alec’s shirt and then opened the first one, seeing a twitch in Alec’s eyes. A little smirk spread on Magnus lips and he opened the next one, feeling how Alec’s breath picked up with every button he undid, he almost felt the tremble below his skin as Magnus reached his stomach and then opened the last one, before shoving the shirt aside to reveal his marvellous abs.

Magnus felt his cheeks warm up and the pressure in his pants increase. He saw Alec’s erection in his boxers, thick and long, trapped behind the thin, dark fabric. “Can I?” he asked, not knowing exactly why he asked, Alec clearly expected him to after offering, but he just wanted to make sure.

“Yeah…” He said breathlessly, while his hands went back down to Magnus hips, holding onto him.

Magnus grabbed the waistband of the boxers, pinching it between his fingers and pulling it back to see Alec’s painfully hard dick flop out and point straight up against Alec’s stomach. A little gasp left Magnus lips while he heard Alec do the same, hoping Alec might have not noticed.

It looked even bigger than last time he had seen it, if that was even possible. He was obviously very aroused, if the amount of precum covering it was anything to indicate, it looked slick. Magnus eyes wandered up to Alec’s who was still watching him like a hawk and Magnus quickly lowered his eyes again to not have Alec see his current excitement and the uncertainty.

Alec stroked his hip bones with his thumbs and Magnus felt the silent encouragement he gave him. He reached forward and grabbed Alec’s cock by the base, wrapping his fingers around it and felt the enormous heat almost burning his fingers. He didn’t know what pressure he would like so he kept his hand loosely wrapped around it, before pulling it up, watching almost mesmerised how the foreskin swallowed the head and then laying it free again. A low moan blew against Magnus face from below.

Feeling a little more confident, he began to stroke him with lazy jerks, revelling in the sounds that escaped Alec’s lips while he leant his head back and closed his eyes, his mouth still wide open. Magnus observed his reactions carefully and increased the pressure a tiny bit, Alec didn’t react so it seemed to be fine.

He didn’t know he would enjoy the feeling of his heavy cock so much; it was so hard and so soft all the same, it didn’t feel too different from his own but then again completely different. Which was odd. Magnus leant forward, kissing Alec’s chin and traced them along his jaw while picking up the speed on him. He felt Alec’s fingers dig into his hips. Magnus kissed down his throat, over the prominent rune on there and Alec tilted his head aside to give him more space, while louder moans rolled off his tongue.

“Magnus…” He gasped and Magnus grinned against his skin, he loved how he could manage to wreck him, to have him so completely out of control, that he could do what he liked to him, please him, satisfy him. And this was something he actually could do; he didn’t need to think about it.

“You like this?” Magnus whispered against his earlobe before sucking it into his mouth in a moment of boldness.

“Fuck yeah…” Alec’s grip on Magnus increased and he pressed him down, like he didn’t want him to leave, to stop. Magnus didn’t plan on stopping, he increased the pressure even more and stopped his full strokes, concentrating on the part below his head to rub that quick and rough.

“Shit…” Alec pressed his face aside and into Magnus, trying to reach for his lips, almost biting him with the force of it and Magnus let him play with them, nibbling and sucking on them with his heated lips, Magnus tried to return it as good as possible but his concentration was somewhere else, he tentatively lowered his free hand down Alec’s body and crawled his fingers down his crotch until he reached his balls, he rolled them between his fingers and felt them tense up. He was going to cum, he felt it.

So, he put even more strength into his movements and jerked him almost violently, which caused Alec to throw his head back again. “Oh…Magnus, I am going to cum” He gasped and Magnus felt him buck his hips up. Magnus watched how Alec’s upper body tensed up, his muscles getting tight before he let out a deep groan and white spurts of cum landed on his own chest and stomach. Magnus jerked him through it and felt the warm liquid drop down his fingers, his dick twitching in his hand.

Magnus stopped his movements on him after giving him one last squeeze and then pulled his hands away, holding them in the air awkward, not really knowing what to do with them. Alec lowered his head again with flushed cheeks and blown pupils and gave Magnus a lopsided, satisfied smile.

“You are welcome.” Magnus whispered and Alec laughed while Magnus slithered off his lap and got off, running the back of his hand over his own sweaty forehead before giving Alec an almost innocent smile. He made it, he did it and Alec liked it.

Alec reached for some tissues and cleaned himself and dressed himself quickly, before getting up and handing Magnus some, who cleaned his hands.

“Thank you…that was amazing.” Alec grabbed Magnus waist and pulled him closer and flush against him, who gasped at the motion but then lost himself in Alec’s eyes. Alec leaned down and kissed him lovingly and this time Magnus could return it properly. Soft smacking noises were heard as they enjoyed a few minutes to just kiss the other one.

“Do you want me to return the favour?” Alec murmured against his wet lips with a smirk and Magnus felt a thrill of excitement run through his body. But he was so worked up, so hard, he knew he would burst the moment he touched him and he didn’t want to witness that. Ever. 

“We had plans, hadn’t we?” Magnus tried changing the topic and Alec’s eyes twitched for a moment. Magnus saw that he noticed the topic change and hoped Alec wouldn’t press it.

“Yeah, okay.” Alec said a bit startled and Magnus let go off him.

“You should wash up before, maybe.” Alec nodded with a laugh.

“I will pick you up in 20 minutes.” Alec pointed a finger at him and Magnus walked to the door, he opened it and then stood in the doorway for a moment, looking back at Alec. He actually didn’t want to leave, but his fingers felt sticky. Alec grinned at him and waved a hand and Magnus then quickly closed the door behind himself to go for his room.

Magnus left the office with a little too obvious gleam in his eyes, knowing what he had done mere minutes ago, that he had felt the courage to do it and most of all that Alec had enjoyed it so much. He might have had a little more swing to his walk than usual, a proud smirk on his lips as he turned around the corner, when his shoulder bumped into someone.

“Oh, sorry!” He rushed and held his hand up, turning around to face the person he walked into.

The Indian looking man stared at him for a moment, then took a step closer. Wait, that was that guy again, the one with the name he couldn’t remember. Roy?

“You might watch where you are going next time.” He barked, standing an inch in front of him. Magnus could almost feel the wave of hate that radiated off his body, though he couldn’t tell why. He never really spoke to the man.

“It wasn’t my intention, I am sorry.” He repeated, his hand on his own chest. It really wasn’t, he didn’t want to anger anyone and also didn’t want this to escalate, surely the man would understand and be reasonable.

The man clenched his jaw and his eyes flickered up to Magnus forehead for a moment. A wide smirk appeared on the man’s lips and it wasn’t a pleasing one, he looked creepier than before.

“Doing what you are meant to do, hm? I guess that’s the only thing you are good for.” Magnus lips parted and he inhaled sharply. He didn’t know what the guy was talking about but the words were filled with so much disgust that it shocked Magnus to the core.

“Listen,…Raj? I don’t know what I ever did to you, but-“ Magnus started, shaking his head while speaking and the man reached forward and grabbed Magnus upper arm where his wound was, causing Magnus to hiss loudly, trying to back off.

“No, you listen warlock. We don’t want you here so go back to whatever place you belong.” Magnus circled his arm around to get out of his grip, feeling his wound throb below the skin. He knew he should back away, knew he should let this go, but the situation triggered something in him, something he was trying hard to control and his warlock eyes flashed for a moment.

“I don’t care who you are or what your problem is, but threaten me again and I cannot guarantee for your safety.” Magnus straightened himself, his face so close to Raj’s that he could feel the other one’s breath against his skin. The man looked startled for a moment but quickly gathered himself.

“I would love to see that. I have heard all about your ‘powers’, you can’t even do a portal. What kind of warlock are you? Oh, I know, you are Alec’s little slut.” Without a second passing, Magnus stretched his arm forward and watched Raj fly across the corridor, slamming against the wall behind him. Magnus stared at his own stretched out fingers in shock and then lowered his arm. He didn’t mean to…he didn’t. He took a tentative step forward and watched Raj straightening himself again, brushing his hands along his shirt, a thick pulsating vein on his forehead.

“You will regret this, Bane.” He barked, obviously wounded in his pride and then stormed off. Magnus turned on his heels and walked back to his room, the scene playing in his head over and over again. What was the guy’s problem? Did he just not like warlocks or was it something personal? He shouldn’t have let this escalate; he shouldn’t have hurt him. He hated how he lost his temper so quickly; it was an instinct rooted so deep within him he couldn’t shake it off.

It was not like he wasn’t used to this kind of treatment, he had to endure worse throughout his life, racism, anger, envy, despite, fear, violence, just everything. But he usually knew the reason for their behaviour, this one just confused him. He guessed it was the usual fear mixed with racism towards his kind.

He reached his room and exhaled deeply as he closed the door behind himself, before giving Chairman Meow a quick pat on the head, filling his empty bowls with fresh water and meat before going to the bathroom to clean himself. He tried to get the dried, sticky cum off his forehead and his hairline, realising with shame what Raj had been talking about earlier. Alec could have been so nice to point that out before he would walk through the Institute with it, well, surely he hadn’t noticed.

It knocked on the door and Magnus walked back into the other room, opening it with a little too much force. Alec lowered his fist, a bit startled as he saw Magnus expression.

“What happened?” He asked right away and entered. Magnus watched him walk inside and then wondered if he should tell him about it, he didn’t like what had happened and how he had reacted and he could handle that shadowhunter on his own, so he decided against it.

“Nothing, I was just in a rush.” He explained and then observed Alec, his hair was fixed and less messy, his face back to a normal colour. He had changed into tight black pants and a thin, blue jacket that was rolled up to his elbows. How did he manage to look that good with such casual clothes?

His nerves began to settle and his breathing came back to normal, Alec’s presence was soothing him, or maybe it was the scent the man rocked, he always smelled so damn good. Before knowing it, Magnus startled expression had changed into a fond smile.

“If you say so.” Alec returned, having the feeling something was wrong but not going to press it. Both looked at eachother a bit sheepishly, most likely thinking about what had happened in that office earlier from the looks of it, because their eyes darted over the other one’s body, crotch, lips, chest until they met at the eyes again. Alec gave him an almost shy smile and Magnus grinned, lowering his face, feeling like a little teenager in love.

“Oh, I forgot, here is your phone. It was found in the garden.” Alec handed him the phone and saw the relief on Magnus face.

“I thought I lost it in the Seelie Realm, that is wonderful, thank you.” He gasped and held it close to his chest before pushing it down his pants. “So, where are we going?” Magnus asked, once he collected himself and lifted his head again.

“Nah, not telling.” Alec answered and walked past him outside again. “Follow me.” Magnus quickly closed the door behind himself and followed the tall Shadowhunter until they were outside.

“Lead the way.” They sauntered through the streets side by side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this lovely treat of a chapter. Let me know all your thoughts on this smutty piece 😏 And can you really blame Alec for taking a peek? Would you have? Naughty, naughty Alec 😎 And I think Magnus made himself another enemy, but whose fault is that, really? Thanks so much for all the love, kudos and comments! Thanks my lovelies! 😘


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Will you just!” Alec scolded but Magnus wheezed beside him, doubled over, almost falling to the ground. Alec had to laugh along, but felt more embarrassed than ever. “Magnus!” He grabbed the shaking warlock and steadied him so he wouldn’t fall from laughing so hard, before pulling him out of the scene to get away from there. Magnus almost stumbled over his own feet while being pulled and really tried to collect himself but he couldn’t stop. Tears slid down his cheeks and he gasped for air. “I hate you.” Alec said and walked away stubbornly, though he couldn’t help but smile along.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://ibb.co/5Mjx3Vb)

“How is your shoulder, arm? Does it still hurt?” Alec asked curiously while giving Magnus arm a quick look over.

“It’s okay, I healed it once more this morning. It feels like a bruise, nothing more.” But it was throbbing currently because of Raj’s tight grip on it. “What have you been doing all morning?” He changed the topic.

“Reports, fire messages, instructions, the usual business.” He waved a dismissive hand, not really wanting to tell Magnus about the drama going on, he was trying to take his mind off things. “And yours?”

“It was, interesting?” He played with the curve of his ear while averting his eyes.

“Interesting? Care to explain?” Alec’s voice sounded amused.

“I had a very thorough conversation with Clary and your sister…girls can be creepy.” Alec laughed loud and looked down at Magnus.

“I can imagine, I have overheard Izzy’s girls talks more than once. They usually start at clothes and make up and it mostly ends up at something sexual.” Alec grimaced and Magnus felt his breath hitch. His cheeks began to burn.

“Wait, did they? They talked about it, right?” Alec couldn’t hide his laughter as he eyed the embarrassed warlock. “Oh man they are awful; they just can’t stop. I am sorry you had to witness that.” Well, he started it, but maybe shouldn’t tell that.

“Well, they talked about you too.” Magnus mused and Alec’s laughter stopped immediately. They didn’t really talk about him, just indirectly, but Magnus enjoyed the expression on Alec’s face way too much.

“Do I want to know?” He asked carefully and Magnus shook his head.

“Nope.” He put much emphasis on the p.

Magnus could hear loud familiar music as they walked around the corner, coming from the other side of the street. It was Korean music he noticed and Magnus arched his eyebrows. He saw people in all kind of colourful clothes gather around a free square spot right on the street. A mechanical voice appeared, calling out the name of the song and a few of the people ran towards the spot and started dancing to the music.

Magnus watched them dance away, a bit confused and then turned his eyes to Alec who watched them as well. He looked down to Magnus, a bit nervous. “I thought you might like this…” He explained extremely unsure and Magnus blinked a few times, waiting for Alec to explain.

“It’s a gathering of K-pop fans to dance to their favourite songs. Random play dance challenge or something. I thought maybe you wanted to try it.” Magnus still stared at him. He went with him to some K-pop gathering to have Magnus dance and have fun? He didn’t even like or know the music. How did he find out about this at all? Alec still observed his reaction and began to bite on his inner cheek. Magnus realised he still had to answer.

“You don’t like it?” Alec asked and Magnus hated how unsure he sounded and quickly wetted his dry throat to speak. “No, I mean yes, it’s ehm. I don’t know what to say, I’m speechless. Thank you? I have never seen something like this.”

“Do you want to try it?” Alec suggested, still hoping that Magnus liked this, he was actually very proud he had found out about this in his researches and read all there was about it, he knew the rules and what to do, but apparently Magnus didn’t, if that confused look was anything to go by. “You have to go there, once a song you know comes up you just go on that platform thing and dance.” Alec explained, pointing his hand at the square.

Magnus watched them for a minute. It actually looked like a lot of fun and he really loved to dance. And that Alec had brought him here meant a lot to him, he truly cared about his interests and wanted him to have fun even though he didn’t really like it himself. Again, it was a gesture he never experienced in his life. He looked back at Alec, fondly.

“Go!” Alec laughed and pushed him a bit. “I will wait here.”

Magnus then walked towards the others, mostly Asians, which he greatly approved of, not sticking out for once was something he dearly enjoyed. He made his way through the crowd, blending in. They granted him smiles and Magnus felt accepted, like one of them.

Magnus looked back to where Alec stood and watched him lift his thumbs up into the air. The next song was announced, Blackpink. Magnus grinned widely and nodded to himself, he knew that the song that began to play. He made his way to the dance floor smoothly and then…danced. He let his body take over and swung his hips around perfectly. Every step on time, every turn on point. He felt joy spread through his body and couldn’t help but laugh at how ridiculous this was and how much fun he had; he could see the same expression on the other participants.

Alec watched Magnus from afar, every roll of his hips and wave of his arms. The way his open leather jacket swirled around with every move, the laugh on his face. He could watch him forever and ever; he would be happy with that. There was nothing that made Alec happier than seeing Magnus smile like that, having fun. He deserved this, everything of it. He deserved the world. Yes, this was a good decision. Minutes passed by, or was it an hour. He couldn’t tell anymore. Time flew by when he watched Magnus smile.

Magnus suddenly waved his hands at Alec, motioning him to join and Alec quickly shook his head. Magnus left the dancing spot to dance his way to Alec who backed off and walked backwards until his back hit the shop walls behind him. Magnus grabbed his hand and pulled the shadowhunter to the dance floor, giving him no chance to escape.

Alec felt like vomiting, he couldn’t dance, he hated dancing, he contemplated to pretend to faint to get away from this but then already found himself on the dance floor with Magnus and the others. He stood completely out, with his size and also features. He didn’t like the attention, but the other’s didn’t mind at all, they even encouraged him.

Magnus kept holding his hands to ease him into this and moved his body along with the music, Alec complied reluctantly and let himself be moved a bit stiffly. Well, what the heck! Alec let go off Magnus and then copied the way the others danced with as much passion as he could muster, totally over the top and completely extra like he was born to do this. He knew he must look ridiculous but if this was what made Magnus happy, he would just do it. He heard cheers from aside and saw how Magnus bent over with laughter. He quickly jumped off the dance floor as the music stopped, followed by a still laughing warlock.

“Will you just!” Alec scolded but Magnus wheezed beside him, doubled over, almost falling to the ground. Alec had to laugh along, but felt more embarrassed than ever. “Magnus!” He grabbed the shaking warlock and steadied him so he wouldn’t fall from laughing so hard, before pulling him out of the scene to get away from there. Magnus almost stumbled over his own feet while being pulled and really tried to collect himself but he couldn’t stop. Tears slid down his cheeks and he gasped for air. “I hate you.” Alec said and walked away stubbornly, though he couldn’t help but smile along.

“Wait! I am sorry.” He said straightening himself and quickly running after the shadowhunter. “Sorry…” he whispered and grabbed his shoulder before another fit caught him and he leant on his knees. Alec rolled his eyes. “That was amazing. Really.” Magnus breathed, inhaling loudly to get some oxygen into his lungs.

“Yeah, right. Like I didn’t make a complete fool out of myself.” Alec shrugged and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

“No, you didn’t. I loved it a lot! You are very talented.” Now it was Alec’s turn to laugh and he made a snorting sound from deep of his throat, not being able to hide the laugh that bubbled up. It took them a few minutes to catch their breaths and gather themselves.

“Well this turned out just the way I wanted.” Alec said while wiping his wet eyes.

“It was perfect.” Magnus rushed forward and pushed his lips against Alec’s plump ones while holding one of his hands. Magnus felt the freeze of Alec’s lips, stiff and hard and pulled back instantly. “I’m sorry.”

Alec was just caught off guard by the gesture, he hadn’t expected Magnus to show affection in public, they were surrounded by people after all, even if standing on the sideways. Alec quickly grabbed Magnus cheeks and pulled him back into a kiss. Melting his lips into Magnus’ and opening them with his own, Magnus returned the kiss with as much devotion and opened up his lips for Alec, welcoming his tongue in and licking it playfully. Their faces pressed against eachother, their breaths tingling against their cheeks. Magnus hummed in appreciation as Alec sucked on his bottom lip before pulling back.

“Wow.” Magnus breathed after opening his eyes again. Alec stroked his cheek with his thumb and smiled affectionately.

“Yes. Wow.” Alec agreed and then lowered his hands to interlock it with Magnus smooth hand again. “Magnus, if you tell anyone about the dance, I will murder you.” He said with determination and Magnus sealed his lips before throwing away the key.

“You will have to trust me.” He shrugged cutely and then they strolled off through the busy streets of New York. Alec showed him a few places, sculptures, explained everything in all details whenever the warlock had a question. The hours passed without them actually realising it. It felt so natural, so good.

They passed what looked like an Asian region, with petite colourful shops, glowing signs, lights of every kind and colour everywhere. It looked familiar, warm and it smelled like all kind of spices. He inhaled deeply and let out a long, satisfied sigh.

“Oh look!” Magnus shouted and ran across the street. There was a loud shrieking sound of tires that halted abruptly and Alec darted after him, stretching one palm apologetically to the car driver who ranted in a foreign language.

“Magnus, you can’t just run across the street!” He scolded him but Magnus didn’t even listen, he stood in front of a little, rather plain and dirty looking imbiss Alec would have never granted a second glance. “Magnus?”

“Rendang daging!” Magnus said into the void and Alec blinked his eyes.

“Bless you?” Magnus shook his head and then pointed forward and to some dish being served to a stranger. Alec still didn’t really get it, call him stupid okay.

“It’s an Indonesian dish Alexander and it’s really good! I haven’t eaten in…almost a century! You have to try it! Come on.” He pulled Alec on his sleeve towards the cook and then ordered two for them in Indonesian. Alec nodded to himself. Of course.

He took the bowl Magnus handed him and eyed it. It was chunks of dark meat? Covered with some sauce, it looked chewed and spit out, multiple times. It in fact looked disgusting to him. Magnus smelled it with closed eyes and then made a loud haaaaaah as he sighed in appreciation. He immediately dug the plastic fork into it and dived in.

Alec still watched it as if it was going to jump him, before realising that he in fact had to try this, otherwise Magnus would think he was rude and he didn’t want that. He heard Magnus munching and humming beside him and then shrugged. Well. He tentatively stabbed a chunk of it with his fork and quickly put it in his mouth, chewing away.

His eyes widened and a burning sensation spread on his tongue, rushing through his throat and into every cell of his body. “Argh!” He spit it back into the bowl and walked back and forth, waving air into his face and onto his burnt tongue that stuck out. “Pfuckthisishoooot” he slurred and felt like his mouth was on fire.

“Oh. I should maybe have warned you that it’s a bit spicy. I forgot.” Magnus quickly placed his half empty bowl down and took Alec’s out of his hands as he walked past him. He placed them on the nearby table and then went to buy a coconut milk, handing it to Alec a second later. “Drink this! It will get better.”

Alec obliged and downed the liquid in one gulp before inhaling loudly. It in fact got better. But what kind of odd milk was that, it was most certainly out of date. He felt like vomiting for a second as the weird milk and the spicy whatever mixed in his belly. “Abitshpicy?!” Alec still couldn’t really talk; he didn’t feel his tongue.

Magnus grimaced and snapped his fingers beside Alec’s head, making it look like he was stroking his cheek. A few blue sparks rushed out of his fingertips and into Alec’s mouth. He then went to cup his cheek. “Is it better?”

Alec nodded, feeling the pain subside. “Yes, thank you. Please don’t ever do that again. I can’t eat spicy.”

“I didn’t know and I am sorry, I didn’t actually know it was that spicy I am so used to it. I won’t do it again.”

“It’s okay, you didn’t know. What was that milk?” He licked his own tongue, still tasting the lingering rotten liquid.

“It’s coconut milk.” Alec nodded. Yeah, sure, what else.

“Next time you will pick the food and I will try it whatever it is.” Magnus offered and Alec smiled at the gesture, but well he knew what Magnus liked and didn’t like and he wouldn’t give him something he didn’t like out of spite. “I hope your tongue is better now, I still need it.” Oh wow, who are you?

Alec’s eyebrows rose to his hairline and he tilted his head with a smirk. “Do you?” Magnus felt his cheeks burn up.

A loud beeping sound made both twitch and Alec quickly grabbed his phone. “Yes?...Yeah…Really?...Hm…Okay…Yes, I will be there.” Alec hung up and put the phone back before giving Magnus an apologetic look. “We have to go back. Izzy needs me there.” Magnus nodded, he wasn’t angry about it at all, it was his job and he was the Head of the Institute after all, he had his duties even if he had a day off. “It won’t take long though.”

“Don’t worry about it, I understand. Let us go back.” They took eachothers hand simultaneously and Magnus inhaled deeply, his eyes darting down to the hands for a moment before looking back at him. Oh boy, he was completely infatuated with him.

\---

“How is he?” Izzy asked, once they managed to take care of the matter, she had called Alec in for. Alec reluctantly spent the past hour talking to one of the clave members about his fire messages, about what had happened with the seelies, they wanted answers and Alec tried his best to explain without giving away too much information. He didn’t like lying to the clave but he had to protect Magnus at all costs.

Alec leant against the computer table in the ops center, his arms crossed in front of his chest. “He is much better, he healed his arm tonight and again this morning, but maybe you can check on it to make sure everything is back to normal.” Izzy nodded and then silence followed.

“He likes you…” Alec met her eyes and she granted him one of her warm smiles.

Alec nodded and then played with his own lips, twisting them around between his fingertips in a nervous manner. He didn’t know what to answer to that, he hadn’t told her what had happened between them yet and that he actually said he likes him. That they were intimate already. He hated to keep things from Izzy and he hated that they weren’t on the same side with this, he wanted to talk to his sister about it like he could in the past, but Izzy would only scold him more.

“It’s okay, Alec.” Alec stopped the motion and stared her down. “I get it…but be careful.” Her face was soft and almost regretful. Alec gave her a lopsided smile and then swung his right arm around her, pressing her against him and they hugged, deeply, lovingly. Like they hadn’t done in a long while. Alec felt something shift within him, something click into place. Maybe Izzy was not so much against them as he thought. At least he could hope so.

“I have to tell you something.” Alec murmured once they broke the embrace and she looked up curiously. “Meliorn was involved in this, he was the one who kidnapped Magnus.”

Izzy opened her mouth wide, before pressing her lips back together, hissing a “I will kill him”.

“I sent a fire message for him; he will come by tomorrow.” Izzy nodded and pushed her hands into her sides.

“I will be there.” She said with determination but Alec shook his head.

“No, I want to do this alone.” Izzy could see the thick vein on Alec’s neck pulsating, the one he always had when he was angry.

“Do you think that is a good idea? Can you keep control of yourself?” Alec rose his eyebrows challenging. “Alec…”

“Izzy, he kidnapped Magnus, he betrayed us and the accords. He betrayed me.” Alec snapped and Izzy inhaled sharply.

“Okay…I get it. But I will be close by.” Alec nodded a thank you. “But please, keep him alive, will you?”

“Come on, let us eat.” He changed the topic and lead the way, not wanting to make a promise he couldn’t keep.

\---

Magnus sat in the Library, one leg folded below his body and the other stretched out, a huge book lying on his thighs, he tapped his fingers against the side of the book thoughtfully as he read the most sappy romantic story about two mundanes, he might have shared a tear or two, it was the dusty books if someone should ask.

Alec and him had agreed to meet in the cafeteria at 6pm which was in 15 minutes. He closed the book with a loud gasp and then got up to shove it back into it’s rightful place, it wasn’t the first he had read so far and certainly not the last. Though he usually didn’t aim for novels, he just was very much in the mood for that now.

He made grabbed his bowl of soup from Eva’s hand who gave him a warm smile and he returned it just as loving, before he made his way to their table and sat down. The others surrounded him, though Alec wasn’t there yet. They chatted about this and that while Magnus slurped on his soup.

A little smirk played on his lips and he lifted his eyes to see Clary stare at him with the same smirk, Magnus nearly choke on his soup and hissed loudly as it dropped down from his spoon and ran down his wrist, burning his skin. He waved his hand quickly and licked the hot liquid off it before going back to eat. Alec and Izzy then took their places and darted right in.

“You have to blow it some more Magnus, it’s still very hot.” Clary’s soft voice washed over the table and Izzy chuckled. Alec lifted his eyes to the petite redhead with confusion, but quickly averted them again to eat.

“I will next time.” Magnus returned and then strategically blew on the soup some more, while his eyes never left Clary’s. “It wasn’t so hot when I touched it earlier, just the normal warmth.” Clary’s mouth went slack before an open mouthed grin appeared on her face and Magnus gave her a little wink. She sucked her lips in and tried to hide her laugh while Izzy eyed them both curiously.

“The best way to test the heat is with the lips though since they are more sensitive, you should really try it.” Clary mused and Jace turned to her with a quirked eyebrow. 

“It takes a lot of courage to do that, I don’t want to burn them.” Magnus slurped on his soup and Clary tilted her head with a soft smile.

“You won’t burn them when you tell the cook that you don’t want it hot.” Everyone’s eyes now were on them, trying to decipher what the hell was going on.

“What are you guys talking about?” Jace asked Clary, before giving Magnus a look whose cheeks burnt bright red, his head lowered.

“Just giving out advices.” Clary straightened herself, giving Magnus one last look before going back to her soup. Izzy put her spoon down with force and then stared at Magnus, before looking over to Alec, who returned her look, shrugging his shoulders. He might be oblivious but Izzy, smart as she was got what this was about right away.

Red light suddenly flashed the Cafeteria and a loud buzzing noise appeared, Magnus looked around himself and saw the shadowhunters getting up. Jace and Alec gave each other a nod and then got up, the girls followed.

“I am sorry, I gotta go.” Alec whispered as he walked past him and Magnus felt a little disappointed if he had to be honest, he had hoped to spend the night with Alec, but he knew if something happened that late at night Alec was gone for hours and wouldn’t come back until the morning.

“It’s okay, Alexander, go.” Alec brushed his shoulder and stroked the side of his neck with his pointer finger, so nobody would see it and then followed the others.

Magnus was suddenly all alone in the cafeteria and felt a bit out of place. He slurped the rest of his soup down and then got up, putting his bowl and spoon away. He made his way through the corridors and up to his room, where he was greeting by a ball of fur.

“Ohhhh you little rascal, come here you.” He murmured and took him into his arms to cuddle him. “Papa missed you.” Chairman meowed loudly and melted into Magnus touch. “We can have fun on our own right? Let’s have some milk for you and then play some, before we go to sleep.” The cat nudged his head against Magnus palm. “You are a good boy!” he pursed his lips and kissed the little one’s head.

\---

When Alec returned at 4am, Magnus was sleeping like a baby, snoring lightly, the Chairman cuddled in his arms. He didn’t want to wake him up or startle the cat and so decided to go for Jace room tonight. He gave Magnus a very light peck on the hair and then closed the door again to go to his brother’s room.

“Scoot over.” He commanded and pushed Jace to the other side of the bed and got in.

“Why don’t you sleep in your bed man?” Alec kicked him, making him fall off the bed with a loud thud and then made himself comfortable, stretching all fours.

“Asshole.” Jace got back in and turned his back to Alec. A few minutes of silence followed. “Hey Alec, are you still awake?”

“No.” Jace rolled his eyes.

“How are things with Magnus?” Alec sighed; his eyes still closed. He didn’t feel like talking right now, he was exhausted and tired.

“Good. ‘suppose. Let us sleep.” Jace rolled on his back and stared into the darkness.

“You haven’t told him yet, right? Are you going to?” Alec groaned as he realised, he wasn’t letting this go, he had his arms over the covers, his hands folded together above his stomach.

“I’m not sure. I’m not sure how to say it and if it’s a good idea. I have a feeling that he deserves to know, that I am lying to him…but I am afraid of the outcome.” Jace nodded, even though Alec couldn’t see him. “What if he doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore. I am too far into this; we are too far. He will think I played him.”

Jace faced Alec. “Well, you kind of did…” Alec accidently let his elbow rush aside and into Jace stomach who growled loudly.

“Good Night.” Alec said unkindly and then turned his back to Jace again, to get some much needed sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaand how did you like their date? Did Alec plan this well? 😎 And what about that, might Izzy be on Malec's side after all? 😁 I hope you enjoyed the usual cafeteria awkwardness too! Thanks for all the comments and kudos on the last chapter. As always, you guys are the best and I love to hear your feedback! The way you catch on all the details makes me swoon. 😘
> 
> For those that confused by Clary and Magnus inside talk, here is the translation:  
Clary: Suck him.  
Magnus: I will next time. But I gave him a handjob earlier.  
Clary: Blow job is better and works better for distraction. Give it a try.  
Magnus: I don't have the courage to do it yet, I fear to fuck it up.  
Clary: If you tell Alec what is going on, he will help you with it and don't expect anything.


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I can’t have Jace know that we are…that we. You know.” Magnus murmured and felt his cheeks blush.
> 
> “Made out? Magnus, he knows.” Magnus eyes grew comically wide.
> 
> “What? He knows? How?” Alec shook his head a bit confused and amused at the same time.
> 
> “We are Parabatai. Brothers. We share everything.” Alec explained and Magnus quirked an eyebrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://ibb.co/Jj2XcV6)

Magnus threw his arm aside and grabbed the cold sheets below his fingers, he repeated the gesture while moving his arm around, realising painfully that he was in fact alone. He lifted his head immediately to eye the empty and unused space next to him then crawled his way to the edge of the bed and craned his neck, in a last and hopeful gesture to see Alec, but the rug was empty too.

He looked around himself then, the room looked just like last night, Alec hadn’t been there. Chairman Meow lay on the big armchair in the other corner, sleeping sound and safe. Magnus huffed loudly and didn’t know why he felt disappointed, it was not like he had a right to know where Alec was or that he had to be there with him, but he somehow had thought he would be.

He took his phone from his nightstand and looked for the last time the Shadowhunter was online, no he was no stalker. 4:30am. Hm.

[Magnus Bane – 8:01am] Good morning, I just wanted to check if you are okay and safe. I didn’t hear from you. I don’t want to bother; I think you are still asleep…

He stopped typing and tapped his finger against the phone, thinking. His eyes wandered around the room in a manner of seeing if he was watched, of course not, he slid into his covers some more and then continued his message, feeling bold.

[Magnus Bane – 8:03am] Good morning, I just wanted to check if you are okay and safe. I didn’t hear from you. I don’t want to bother; I think you are still asleep. I wish you were here so I could kiss your beautiful lips. I can’t get them out of my head. I can’t wait to get my hands on you.

A long sigh escaped his lips after hitting send, he held the phone against his chest and stared up at the ceiling. He blinked his eyes a few times and then looked back at it to reread the message, just in case. He hoped it wasn’t too forward, but knowing Alec a bit by now, the man was prone to be forward. A small smile tugged on his lips, before his eyes went wide.

Oh no.

His eyes drifted aside to the name he sent it to. ‘Jace Wayland’.

Jace. Jace!???? His mouth shot open and into a wide O, his throat dry. Oh fuck. Oh no. He jumped off the bed and stood in front of it, frozen, staring at the phone in his hands. Wait, maybe he didn’t get it yet, he checked the checks on the side and saw two grey ones. Fuck. But he didn’t read it yet! But well, what was he supposed to do? Okay, there was only one way, he had to kill him. Now. No, think rational Magnus. Steal the phone, delete the message…yes…yes…his chest heaved roughly.

He threw his phone aside, not caring where it landed and darted out of the room, he ran down the corridor, his bare feet loudly pacing the stone ground and his quick breath echoing through the walls. He rushed around the corner and nearly bumped into two shadowhunters that came his way, he excused himself and continued his marathon, not caring or seeing the way they followed him with their eyes. He only had one goal, Jace room.

He stopped in front of the door and leant on his knees, catching his breath for a moment, he felt sick from running so fast without a breakfast first, he always needed his breakfast. He inhaled deeply and then pushed the door open as quiet as possible, hoping to catch the sleeping Shadowhunter, but it was empty. Damn. Just as he was about to close the doors, his eyes caught the glimpse of something black on Jace nightstand and hope filled his heart, oh that can’t be, how could he be so lucky. He quickly walked inside and took Jace phone, trying to unlock the thing.

A squeak and loud whistling snapped him out of it and he twitched in surprise, shooting his head aside to see a half naked and wet Jace walk into the room, a white towel around his waist which he held with one hand, his other’s in his hair. Both stared at eachother in shock. Jace eyes went down Magnus half naked body and back up.

“Magnus? What the…” Jace eyes got stuck on his phone in Magnus hands.

Magnus followed his eyes to the phone and back up to him. “It’s not what it looks like.” Well, he wasn’t lying. Somehow. A few seconds of silence followed before Jace darted forward and tried to snatch his phone out of Magnus hands who jumped onto the bed and stretched his arms up to save it from his grabby hands.

“NO! Please, just give me a moment!” Magnus yelped and Jace jumped after him, grabbing his arms and wrists but Magnus batted them away quickly.

“Give me my phone! What are you hiding?” Jace growled.

“You don’t understand! It’s important. Please!” Magnus breathed through gritted teeth and bit Jace in the hand out of despair, the blond one waved his hand and hissed before roughly taking the phone out of his sweaty hands, he jumped off the bed and out of the room, Magnus followed on his tracks. They ran through the corridors like their life’s depended on it.

Jace ran along the big window and down the stairs into the ops center, one hand always holding his towel in place, the shadowhunters present, including Alec and Izzy, standing at the big computer table, all shot their heads towards the noise and saw the shadowhunter running down the stairs like he was chased by a demon, when Magnus came around the corner and took the railing in both his hands before jumping down all the way, landing in a crouch on the floor of the ops center before jumping on the shadowhunter’s back making him fall to the ground.

“Argh! Get off of me! You won’t get it!” the phone landed in front of them with a loud thud and both looked at it, when boots came into their vision, a hand grabbed the phone and both looked up to see Alec’s scolding gaze. Izzy came to his side and crossed her arms in front of her chest, an accusing eyebrow raised.

“It wasn’t me! He was trying to steal my phone!” Jace explained and hoped they would believe him for once. Magnus shook his head vehemently, a mixture of guilt and anger on his face.

“I was not! I was just trying to…I was…ah damn.” He realised he was at fault and there was no way out of this, he got up from Jace and stood, realising just then how naked he was and that he had quite the number of eyes on him. Jace followed him up and gasped, looking at Magnus like he was crazy. Magnus pouted his lip forward only very lightly, a little regret shimmering in his eyes. In fact, he looked more like a sulking kid that got caught doing something bad.

Alec unlocked Jace phone secretly, seeing the unread message from Magnus and read it shamelessly. A little smile curled his lips upwards before he deleted it and locked the phone again, the moment Jace turned his eyes to him and stretched out his arm. “Give me my phone!” He grabbed it and then ran his hand through his hair, giving Magnus an annoyed look before leaving the group.

“Will you come with me.” Alec said in his commanding tone and walked his way to his office, Magnus followed him reluctantly. It was not like he didn’t want to but he knew what was coming and he felt sorry for what had just happened. He forgot where he was for a moment. 

“Alec, I am so sorry…” Magnus gasped as he entered the office behind Alec who rushed into him without a warning, making Magnus back slam against the door roughly. Alec’s hands were on his cheeks, cupping them warmly. His lips pressed against his own in a passionate way, Alec’s breathing was jerky and loud as he sucked on Magnus lips, Magnus hummed and had his eyes closed, enjoying this moment despite his confusion. The moment ended before he realised what was happening and Alec leant back, his hands still on his cheeks.

“What was that about?” Magnus asked a bit out of breath and Alec smiled down at him a bit mischievously.

“I gave you what you asked for, my lips.” Alec whispered and Magnus gasped. The message. “I deleted it.” Magnus gasped a second time.

“Thank Lilith.” Alec let go off him with a chuckle.

“Thank Alec.” He corrected. “But really, what happened? Why are you naked?” Magnus looked down on himself and again noticed how awfully bare he was, how did he manage to forget it every 2 minutes.

“I-I might have sent the message in bed, I wanted to get Jace phone and delete it before he could read it, but he caught me and well, things might have escalated.” Alec rose his eyebrows to his hairline.

“Might? You ran through the Institute naked, both of you. Because of a phone.” Magnus eyed him, not really getting the accusation. This was a very legal reason to do so in his opinion.

“I can’t have Jace know that we are…that we. You know.” Magnus murmured and felt his cheeks blush.

“Made out? Magnus, he knows.” Magnus eyes grew comically wide.

“What? He knows? How?” Alec shook his head a bit confused and amused at the same time.

“We are Parabatai. Brothers. We share everything.” Alec explained and Magnus quirked an eyebrow.

“Everything?” The blush slowly crept up his ears as he thought of the meaning of this. Alec noticed the way his face turned red and then realised his mistake.

“I mean, I tell him a lot of things. He also feels a lot of things, but not all of course. Only rough outlines of my emotions.” Magnus nodded, understanding a bit better and relaxed a tad bit.

“Is he okay with it?” Magnus asked tentatively, not knowing if he wanted to hear the answer.

“Yes, he is, of course. He might not let it show but he likes you a lot Magnus.” Magnus sucked his lips inside his mouth, a little shy smile playing on his face. He actually liked Jace too, a lot. It was just their way to act around eachother like some complete dorks it seemed.

“Are you cold? I have some clothes for you, wait.” Magnus then noticed that his skin was covered in goosebumps and he watched the Shadowhunter grab some stuff out of his closet on the other side of the room, he returned handing Magnus a bunch. He grabbed them and got dressed quickly, he folded the end of the pants up a bit, Alec’s legs were much longer than his, a wide and soft pullover hung on him, looking twice his size. But it was extremely comfortable and it smelled like Alec.

“Thank you.” He swallowed as he looked up at Alec’s hazel eyes, that looked straight back at him lovingly. That familiar tingle in stomach returned, as if he had just realised who it was before him, the adrenaline of the morning rushing out of his system and finally making him able to think straight. He took a step forward and away from the door and into Alec’s personal space, who tilted his head down almost out of instinct.

“Can I kiss you again?” Magnus voice trembled a bit too obvious but Alec didn’t seem to notice or mind. He nodded and waited for Magnus to close the gap between them. 

Magnus pressed his lips up at his warm mouth and opened them, savouring the sweet taste of his lips, he could not stop being amazed at how soft his lips were, how good he smelled, how beautiful he was. Their lips melted against eachothers, not as passionate as before but with much affection, gentle and lazy.

A gentle knock startled them out of the kiss and Alec rolled his eyes almost painfully dramatic. “What?”

“Alec, someone is waiting for you in the big meeting hall.” A male voice said and Alec huffed. That must be Meliorn. He almost didn’t dare looking down at Magnus to tell him he had to leave yet again, but the warlock only scrunched his nose in a cute way and smiled, mouthing a ‘don’t worry’ and Alec didn’t know how he got so lucky. Alec opened the door and both left the office, but then went separate ways. Magnus looked over his shoulder, seeing how Alec did the same and both smiled dorkily until they were out of sight.

\---

Alec opened the door to the meeting room, Izzy on track and saw a figure sitting on one of the chairs around the table, leant back, an arm on the table and tapping the dark wood melodically. Alec tensed instantly as he saw the pointy ears of the brown haired seelie. He rolled his hands into fists as Izzy grabbed one of them, looking up at him pleadingly. He gave her a firm nod and relaxed his fingers. Izzy had decided that it was best she went with him and she might be right with this, he had only seen him a second now and felt like slamming his fist into him.

“Meliorn. It’s good to see you.” Her welcoming voice ran across the room and Meliorn turned his head before a wide smile appeared on his lips, getting up from the table he took Izzy’s hand in his to give it a quick kiss, she tilted her head aside, her long brown hair brushing along her body that was pressed in some tight black dress. She was good at playing her part when she had to be.

“Lightwood.” He quipped, eyeing the tall shadowhunter that stood next to her, there was a weird spark in Meliorn’s eyes as he checked him out as if searching for something.

“I am glad you followed my invitation.” Alec pressed through gritted teeth, trying his best to keep control over himself. He clenched his hands together behind his back.

“Of course, you said it was important and I think I know exactly what this is about.” He answered honestly, with a look of regret in his eyes. “Is Magnus okay?”

Alec twitched the moment the words left his lips, remembering the way Magnus broken arm looked, the way he screamed as he healed it, his weak and cold body, the images flashed his mind without an end. How dare him? Behave like it wasn’t his fault, like he didn’t do this to Magnus. “No, he isn’t.” It took all of Alec’s strength to say those words in a normal tone.

“I am sorry it came to this.” Meliorn said with determination and Alec inhaled sharply, feeling his chin tremble, he was so full of anger, full of rage, it was almost painful. Izzy walked between the men, stroking over Alec’s arm carefully in a way Meliorn wouldn’t see.

“What does your Queen want from Magnus?” She asked the questions they needed to know and Alec wasn’t able to ask in his current state. Meliorn lowered his eyes to the brunette and blinked a few times, obviously contemplating. “My Queen knows about Magnus current…situation.” He answered and Alec stepped aside, away from Izzy’s back.

“And whose fault is that?” He hissed and Izzy pressed her hand against Alec’s tensed chest to keep him at distance.

“She knew about this long before. She felt the shift of dimensions when it happened, she sent seelies to the warlocks to ask about his whereabouts, but they wouldn’t comply. They didn’t want to give her any information, unfortunately for them.” Alec’s left eye twitched as he listened to Meliorn. The dead warlock in the alley coming back to his memory. The day where they captured the brown haired seelie. It all clicked into place now and he finally had the answers he tried to get for weeks. So, the Seelie Queen knew about this all along? She was trying to get Magnus? But why?

“I didn’t know about this myself. I was only informed a few days ago. I was told to find and question him and bring him in if it was true. I had a feeling he was sticking around the Institute. I had my orders, Alec. I had no choice.” Alec clenched his teeth and hated every word the slick seelie said. “We know you have one of ours in your Institute, we kept in contact through our rings to see what you know and also distract you from Magnus.” Alec’s lips parted as he realised how the seelie in the cellar knew about what had happened to Magnus.

“You always have a choice, Meliorn. It was your decision to pick the wrong one.” Her eyes showed nothing but hatred and disgust for her former lover. The thought that they had planned this all along and were after Magnus all this time, not knowing what they actually wanted to do with him made her sick. “If your Queen comes near him ever again, screw the accords, we will hunt you down, every one of you.” Alec looked over to his sister, feeling his chest swell with pride at how fierce and brave she was and that she obviously was on his side after all, protecting Magnus.

Meliorn gulped and lifted his chin. “I will deliver the message. But I can’t guarantee anything.” Izzy turned on her heels, gave Alec a nod and then marched out of the room, closing the door behind herself. Alec turned his head to Meliorn slowly before cracking his neck aside. He stretched his arm forward, offering his hand with an almost true smile.

“Thank you for the answers and your cooperation. I appreciate that.” Alec said truthfully and Meliorn took it, shaking it. A loud crack echoed through the room, followed by a shrill cry as Alec turned Meliorn’s arm forcefully, causing his shoulder bones to break. Alec took a step forward, holding his hand tightly while lowering himself to the crouching seelie. “I am sorry it came to this.” Alec whispered into his pointy ear. “I had no choice.” he repeated Meliorns words and Meliorn stared up at him, shivering and Alec let go off his hand, straightened himself and left.

\---

Magnus just turned around the corner the moment Izzy appeared out of the meeting hall, her face in a furious grimace, her walk quick and strong.

“Hey, what happened to you?” He asked, stopping and reaching out to her, she turned and inhaled deeply as she saw Magnus, before running a hand through her brown locks.

“I’m okay.” She said but Magnus could see her shaking and took a step forward, taking her into his arms into a loving embrace, she carefully wrapped her arms around him and returned the embrace just as tight. He didn’t know what had happened, but he could tell she needed a hug.

The doors opened and both shot their heads aside to see Alec step out of them, his face showing no emotion as he walked away without seeing them. Whatever happened, it seemed to have highly affected both Lightwoods. He felt the need to walk after Alec to see if he was okay, but was still holding the slightly shivering Izzy in his arms.

The doors opened again and an obviously wounded Meliorn appeared, Magnus felt his breath hitch at the sight, he didn’t think he was going to see him again, at least not so soon and also didn’t know they had apparently met with him. He wondered why Alec hadn’t told him about this, but his concentration quickly shifted to the fact that the Seelie was holding his arm and looked like he was in pain.

He looked aside to Magnus and Izzy and he felt the shiver of Izzy stop immediately, she shot him a dangerous glare and he lowered his eyes again before he left through the front doors. Obviously, this meeting didn’t go too well, at least for the Seelie and it was not like he cared about that. Since Izzy was out here with him, it must have been Alec who hurt him.

He should feel anger, fear maybe. He had hurt a downworlder, inside the Institute, even though he swore to protect them, but he felt nothing of that kind. Far from it, what filled him was gratefulness, amazement and love. He did that because of Magnus, he would break the accords because of Magnus. He didn’t know that he meant so much to him, he could even lose his position if that came out, he didn’t seem to care and it was something Magnus couldn’t even begin to understand. Why did he do this for him? He was only a warlock.

He looked aside to see Izzy stare up at him with shimmering, brown eyes, a soft smile on her red lips and Magnus wondered if she was reading his mind. 

“Come on, I have some snacks in my room.” She chirped and pulled on him until they were in her room, she threw the content of a bag onto the bed and Magnus noticed the snacks right away, it was the same stuff Alec had brought him some time ago.

“Alec always gets me this stuff when I’m feeling down, have a hang over or just my period, he is the best brother you know.” Magnus nodded, watching her sit down on the bed and dive into some chocolate bar, she ripped it open and stuffed her mouth with it while humming in appreciation. He sat down on the other side, took off his shoes before crawling on the bed and picking some of the dragees he so loved.

“Here try this!” She pushed some pink donut into his mouth before he could react and then chewed on it before rolling his eyes. Oh boy, that was good. “This is exactly what we need now, right?” Magnus nodded eagerly and then opened a bag of chips, shovelling them into his mouth, feeling the way his taste buds exploded to the new tastes.

Izzy took her place next to Magnus, her legs crossed below her, her hands full of sugary stuff and Magnus couldn’t help but go along, it was like a sugar frenzy, like something took over them, minutes passed and every bag was ripped open, every candy and chocolate bar half way eaten and they lowered themselves back onto the bed with loud sighs.

Lying next to eachother with stuffed tummys, they stared at the ceiling all satisfied and a bit achy. “That was…”

“Delicious.” Izzy ended his sentence and Magnus chuckled. She lifted herself onto her elbows before putting her hand on Magnus arm. “How is it? Do you still feel the pain?” Magnus shook his head.

“No, it’s fine. The only ache I feel is the one in my stomach. I think I might throw up.” Izzy laughed loudly.

“Well, it was worth it, wasn’t it? By the way, I have a feeling I know that pullover, I bought a similar one for Alec once.” Magnus nodded and forced his eyes up at the ceiling.

“Funny coincidences.” He murmured.

This was great. He had always liked Izzy a lot but felt she wasn’t returning the feelings so much. She was never unkind towards him, quite the opposite but he saw the way she had behaved around Alec every time they got near eachother. He wanted to know more about her, get to know her.

And so, he did, they spend the next hour talking about this and that, laughing and listening, talking and frowning. It was a mixture of emotions as they told eachother their stories and Magnus felt strangely connected to her after. Almost like she was his own sister. She was easy to talk to, very intelligent and also very pretty. He could see Alec in her too, in the way she moved and spoke.

Magnus looked around himself, realising that Izzy had a beautiful room, he had been in here before but was more distracted by all the new faces than the beauty of the room. It was different than Alec’s, but of course she was a woman, they liked things nice and pretty. His eyes darted aside to a big blue bottle and he took it without thinking, opening it to take a sniff, it smelled like fruits. “Oh, this is nice.” He said and began squeezing the bottle over the back of his hand when Izzy shrieked beside him and snatched the bottle out of his hands with wide eyes.

“What are you doing?” Her voice was full of judgement and Magnus furrowed his brow.

“I am sorry, I should have asked. It just smelled so nice and I thought it surely left a nice feeling on the skin too.” He shrugged.

“Do you always use lube as a lotion? That is some weird kink.” She rose her eyebrows, laughing lightly.

“Lube?” He asked and Izzy eyed him suspiciously.

“You don’t know what lube is? What do you use for it in…your dimension?” She asked now honestly curious.

“What do you mean? It?” He asked, completely confused.

“Well, sex.” She said in a way like she didn’t want to say the word and Magnus eyes grew wide, not having foreseen that turn of topic. What did sex have to do with this?

“No, we don’t have such thing.” He answered, his cheeks blushing.

“Ouch!” Izzy hissed and then stared back at the ceiling.

“So, you use that for sex? Why?” He asked in a moment of boldness, he couldn’t deny that the topic intrigued him.

“Well, we use it when…you know…things are too dry or tight down there.” It was odd how Izzy wouldn’t say the proper words without stuttering all the while talking to Clary about this shamelessly without a twitch of an eye. But well, apparently there was a difference between talking to another girl about this than a boy.

Too dry or too tight. Too tight. Lube. For sex. Ouch. Lube…the words replayed in his head as he realised what this was about. Lube! That was what he has been missing, what he was trying to find, the missing clue! He gasped and then turned around to Izzy again. “Can I see it again?”

“Yeah, sure.” She handed him the bottle and Magnus grabbed it quickly, reading the manual on it. ‘For smooth and painless penetration’. He felt his heart hammer in his chest, he was holding the key to his problem! Well, at least one of his problems. This would definitely make things easier. 

“Ehm, where do I get something like this?” He asked and Izzy froze beside him, before looking at him again, carefully.

“Why do you need it?” Magnus felt her eyes bore into his side and his blush crept up his ears.

“For my skin.” He mumbled.

“This is not about Alec, right?” Magnus tensed up beside her. Oh no. This wasn’t supposed to happen. She wasn’t supposed to know. Alec would kill him.

“No, it’s not about Alec. Why would you think that? It’s for me. I am not, we are not. This…” He began to laugh ridiculously high while shaking his head.

“Okay, sorry, I just assumed. Never mind. You can keep it if you like, it’s unused, I just bought it.” Magnus glanced aside almost in slow motion.

“Thank you.” Was all he could say and held the bottle close to his chest. Finally, he was a bit smarter. His mind quickly wandered to the question if Alec liked the fruity scent. Well, he would find out sooner or later.

“You are welcome…enjoy.” She laughed and then returned to her food.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Naked run through the Institute? That is something only they can pull off 😂 We finally got some answers, but it seems someone wasn't so pleased with them. Ouch? 😎 Magnus and Izzy time! Yay! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Thanks so much for all the kudos and comments! I really appreciate them all! You are the best! 😘


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus was about to set his body into movement to walk to him when another male approached Alec, tall and fit with short blond hair. The man tapped Alec on the shoulder who turned to look at him. They seemed to chat, but Magnus was too far away to hear anything or actually see facial expressions. It was way too dark. Alec wasn’t backing off so it seemed to be a friend, they stood pretty close to hear the other one, the blond guy leant in and whispered into Alec’s ear. Just friends, Magnus repeated in his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://ibb.co/VqnfscB)

“I don’t know, that sounds like a lot of sweat and noise to me.” Magnus said matter of factly and Simon bobbed his head in agreement.

“Yeah, it is, but people enjoy it here. Don’t ask me why, really. I have no idea.” Magnus shove his hands inside his leather jacket and shrugged. The warm and comfortable autumn breeze had changed into freezing cold over the past days, a little taste of winter was in the air. The outfits Izzy and Simon had bought him didn’t fit the weather at all, he was lacking a scarf, hat and gloves, a long jacket maybe. In fact, Magnus was debating whether to wrap himself in the sheets before leaving the Institute. At least he wouldn’t be freezing his ass off now.

Simon had picked him up at the Institute 20 minutes ago, after agreeing to meet there to go to Pandemonium together, since everyone else was already there. Magnus went for ‘black on black’ as Izzy had suggested nearly a week ago, including a leather jacket, ankle boots, jewellery and a mohawk, he wanted to look as ‘cool’ as possible to not stand out too much, the sheets would have maybe, but only maybe, ruined that look.

Simon gave him a lecture about clubs, what they were, what would happen, how people behaved and what they did, it didn’t sound all too appealing actually and he didn’t know if he would have gone if Alec wouldn’t be there. But only that thought was enough for Magnus to go wherever he had to go, if it meant he could be near Alec.

But then again, he also loved spending time with Simon and hadn’t seen him in a while. Everytime they had met in the past it turned out to be blast and got completely wasted. Maybe they could behave today, but Magnus already craved for some alcohol to ease his mind, to relax, to get his mind off of all the things roaming it lately. It felt like more and more things just added onto it instead of things resolving itself. Now there was Alec too and Alec turned out to be the thing roaming his mind the most of all. That damn shadowhunter. That damn beautiful shadowhunter that would turn him into a flustered teenager with only a look.

They hadn’t seen eachother since this morning, since their passionate kisses in his office. It felt like days already, it was frightening how quickly he was falling for this guy. He couldn’t wait to see him again, to feel him again, to kiss him again. Urgh.

Loud music hit him like a wall, the moment he entered through the thick metal door of Pandemonium. It was so loud that it throbbed through his body, the bass hammering against his skin from inside with every beat. It was dark except of flashing colourful beams of light that shot through the huge packed hall, he followed Simon through a crowd of people while his mind tried to process the place. It was a lot, it was really overwhelming, unlike anything he had ever seen, heard or felt before. The air was thick, full of sweat, alcohol and perfume. People moved to the rhythm of the music, their eyes closed, their bodies swaying around. A few bodies bumped into him and he got closer to Simon and grabbed his arm to not lose him in the crowd.

They stopped at a bar and Simon quickly hopped onto one of the tall black stools and held two fingers up to the male bartender on the other side, who nodded without even looking their way and went to do his business, Magnus got on the stool next to Simon, his eyes never leaving the people dancing to the awfully loud music. Magnus narrowed his eyes, his face scrunched into a grimace, it was just a little too loud. Simon opened his mouth and spoke, but Magnus understood no word, he pointed to his own ears and shook his head.

The bartender placed two glasses with beer in front of them and Simon immediately grabbed his. Magnus tentatively followed him and took a gulp. It was extremely bitter. He snapped his fingers to have the liquid turn into rum, taking care that Simon didn’t see and then hummed appreciatively as he took a second gulp. Simon ordered a second round and Magnus quickly found himself on his third glass of rum within half an hour.

Oddly enough the music seemed to get quieter or Magnus got used to it somehow, maybe it was the alcohol that roamed his veins by now, but he didn’t mind it too much anymore, his face was relaxed now and he watched the strangers rub their bodies against eachothers. He noticed there were a lot of downworlders present, vampires, werewolves. Simon had told him so earlier but seeing it with his own eyes was something else, the view of those different races enjoying their time together and actually having peace was still so foreign to him, but so pleasant all the same.

Magnus felt Simon pat his thigh and then turned to him, Simon gave him a nod in a direction and Magnus followed his eyes until they landed on a dancing brunette on the other side of the room, where the ground was lifted, she was dressed in tight black leather and swung her bootie around, her arms up, before she elegantly turned, revealing her bright red lips with a smirk, the light shone on her just in that second, Izzy. She gave them a wink and Magnus looked back to Simon who grinned widely and then got up, giving Magnus an apologetic look before dancing his way through the crowd and to his girlfriend.

Suddenly Magnus was left alone. Izzy was here now, which meant the others had to be there too, right? His eyes quickly roamed over the whole place trying to find a tall, dark haired man but it was too dark to make out any faces. Suddenly someone tapped his shoulders and Magnus jumped out of his skin, startled he looked aside to see Clary who jumped forward, giving him a big hug, Magnus returned it warmly, finally a familiar face he was starting to feel out of place.

She took his hand in her petite one and dragged him off the barstool and after her through the crowd of people and right into the middle where she stopped and turned his way, immediately dancing and giving him an encouraging and almost challenging look.

Okay, that he could do, he was good at dancing and so he did. He let his body sway to the music, almost as if it flowed through his body, his moves elegant and powerful all the same, he didn’t put on a one man show though but danced with Clary who tried to keep up with him, laughing. Her long, wavy red hair swung around and bounced to the music. Okay, this really got better with every minute. He actually enjoyed this a lot. The fact that he was a little bit tipsy was not the reason at all.

He saw Jace approach, the blond hair almost sparkling in the spotlights, he tried to reach for Clary’s hand but Magnus quickly turned them around so his back was to the shadowhunter. No, he wasn’t sharing right now. This was his biscuit. And maybe he wanted to annoy the man some more. He danced his way from left to right, when Jace tried to get to his girlfriend and blocked the way. Clary laughed loudly while throwing her head back and Jace sighed in frustration, before his eyes turned mischievous.

He began dancing along and grinded his body against Magnus from behind, he wrapped his arms around the warlock who stopped, startled at the gesture and then turned him around in a swift movement before letting go to grab his girlfriend, wrapping her into his big arms. Magnus turned around bewildered. Touché!

His body still in movement, he let his eyes roam the hall again, spotting Izzy and Simon making out on the dance ground, he smiled and then let his eyes wander over the rest and that was when he finally spotted a tall and dark haired man near the cocktail bar, he turned a little aside and Magnus could see his face when a spotlight hit it. Alec. Finally. He felt his heartbeat increase immediately as he watched the man from afar, he looked a bit lost, like he was searching for someone. Magnus, he was searching for him.

Magnus was about to set his body into movement to walk to him when another male approached Alec, tall and fit with short blond hair. The man tapped Alec on the shoulder who turned to look at him. They seemed to chat, but Magnus was too far away to hear anything or actually see facial expressions. It was way too dark. Alec wasn’t backing off so it seemed to be a friend, they stood pretty close to hear the other one, the blond guy leant in and whispered into Alec’s ear. Just friends, Magnus repeated in his head.

Magnus looked away, not really wanting to see this, whatever it was and watched his friends dance some more, before his curiosity got the best of him, his eyes drifted back to Alec and he craned his neck to see above the other people. The blond guy touched Alec’s upper arm and stroked it down to his elbow, Alec took a respectful step back and Magnus thought he saw Alec shake his head.

The lips of Magnus mouth curled downwards instantly. This was no friend. That guy was flirting with Alec, shamelessly flirting with him, touching him. He was touching Alec. He was touching his man.

Jealousy rushed through his whole body, from tip to toe, pulsating in every vein and nerve. It was so strong he thought he was burning. His eyes flashed gold for a second. The guy took a step forward again and into Alec’s personal space, his hip bumping against Alec’s for a second and Magnus felt something snap inside of him.

He darted forward and carelessly shove everybody in his way aside, his eyes stuck on that blond intruder. How dare him touch Alec. How dare him get so close to him. Alec took another step back, but Magnus didn’t really register it in his fury.

Without being in control of himself, Magnus stretched his arm forward, a blue string of magic emanating from his palm, it curled around the man’s wrist and hand that was just about to touch Alec again and the man’s arm was thrown aside and away from Alec as Magnus pulled on his magic. The guy groaned loudly as his arm was twisted in a painful way. Alec looked from him to Magnus, his eyes wide. Magnus released the blond guy as soon as he reached them.

The blond guy cursed something inaudible and then shot Magnus an intimidating look before reaching for Alec’s arm to show Magnus this was his catch, Alec and Magnus both batted the guy’s hand away from Alec within a second and Magnus went to stand in front of Alec protectively. “Touch him again and you will lose the hand.” Magnus hissed loud enough for him to hear. The other guy looked a bit bewildered but not as if he was letting this go. “I saw him first.” He slurred, spatting in his face with the words.

“I will not say it again.” Magnus returned, putting emphasis on every single word, not at all impressed. He felt Alec’s fingers curl around his wrist from behind, warm and soothing. Magnus turned his own hand around and grabbed Alec’s hand, interlocking their fingers without ever leaving the blond guy with his eyes. He held his hand in a tight grip, almost painfully strong. The guy looked down at their hands and then it seemed to click, he rolled his eyes and growled before finally leaving them.

Magnus watched him retreat until he was out of sight, he didn’t realise how tense his body was until Alec tugged on his arm to make him turn around and he shook from surprise. He turned around, head first then body and looked up at Alec, their hands still interlocked. An almost ashamed smile appeared on Magnus face, his lips pursing slightly. He didn’t mean to make a scene or to be so obviously jealous, it just happened.

He never got jealous before, it was an overwhelming feeling and he hated it with every cell of his body. He very quickly realised that he never wanted to feel this again. But he couldn’t be near Alec all the time and the guy was ridiculously beautiful, of course he was flirted with. Magnus felt the urge to plaster every inch of Alec with ‘taken’ sticky notes. He had those in his room, it would only take about an hour to scribble on them and have them ready. But…was he actually taken? Was he even allowed to feel jealous? He was completely in thoughts as Alec tugged on his hand again to make him snap out of it.

Alec looked at him with pure adoration in his eyes. He didn’t seem to mind Magnus outburst one bit, which made Magnus finally relax a little. He didn’t know if it was the alcohol in his blood, or the warm feeling that had built in his stomach, but he leant forward in an attempt to kiss Alec, who backed off almost immediately, his smile disappearing from his lips and Magnus felt like he was slapped, his face showing confusion as he stood back on his feet. Alec didn’t want to kiss him. Why didn’t he want to kiss him? What happened? Did he do something wrong? Magnus searched his face and tried to understand, but Alec averted his eyes. Schooling his expression back into its normal state, he shook the thoughts off.

Whatever this was, he wouldn’t let it ruin the night, he was too happy to see Alec and pulled on his arm to go back into the crowd of dancing bodies, the shadowhunter followed reluctantly, Magnus could tell. He stopped in the middle of it and then turned to Alec, who looked uncomfortable. ‘Dance with me’ Magnus mouthed and began to do just that. Alec didn’t move. So, Magnus took him by the waist and pulled him in, moving his body with his own hands. ‘Dance with me’ he mouthed again with a smile on his lips. Alec tried to resist but then chuckled and moved his body on his own. 

Magnus grinned at him and got closer, grinding his body against Alec’s front shamelessly, whose eyes widened at the movements. Magnus could see the resistance in Alec’s eyes and in his body, but he was moving along anyways and it shouldn’t feel this challenging to Magnus, but it did, he wanted to make him comfortable, make him forget whatever it was that was on his mind, make him want to dance with Magnus. He wrapped his arms around the shadowhunter’s back and pressed him against himself.

“You are drunk.” Alec whispered loud enough for Magnus to hear, knowing the warlock wouldn’t behave that way otherwise. Showing public affection to a guy like this. Wanting to kiss him in front of others. Though he would say he was only doing this for Magnus dignity, the desire to not have his siblings’ eye them played into it too. He knew Jace wouldn’t mind, but he wasn’t sure about Izzy. And besides that, it wasn’t his thing to be intimate in front of them, that was a big no no.

“Am not.” Magnus insisted, feeling he was still clear headed enough. He just really wanted to show his affection for Alec. He might also want to stake his claim after what just happened, he felt the need to show that this shadowhunter was his to the whole world. They were so close that their faces almost touched, while their bodies swayed from one side to the other like they were one; their hips flush.

“I am glad you are here. I missed you.” Magnus admitted and Alec looked startled for a moment, before he leant down and placed his lips against Magnus, who let out a surprised gasp. Their lips parted again way too soon for Magnus taste and he followed Alec with his lips, his eyes still closed, but Alec was out of reach again. That damn height.

“I missed you too.” Magnus opened his eyes and couldn’t tell if it was the butterflies or the alcohol in his stomach, but it was doing flips. He almost felt sick, in a positive way, if that was possible. His head became clear and his eyes settled on Alec’s face, finally being able to fully appreciate the sight. Alec’s face was flushed, his lips red and he had a little cut above his eyebrow. Magnus frowned and then lifted his hand to brush above it with his thumb carefully.

“You are hurt.” Alec let out a puff of air, a smile on his lips.

“It’s only a small cut, Magnus. Don’t worry about it.” Magnus narrowed his eyes and then stroked over his eyebrows, blue sparkles following the movement until the cut was gone. Alec shook his head, still laughing, then looked down to Magnus. He gulped visibly and then put his arms around the warlock, laying them on his backside before sliding them into Magnus pockets. He told himself to keep himself in check around Magnus but he just couldn’t help it.

“You look really sexy tonight.” His voice was deep and his eyes hooded and when Magnus mind wasn’t clear already, it was now, he felt wide awake and suddenly realised how close they were, their bodies lined up against eachothers, from knees to stomach. His cock hardened almost immediately and he felt something hard press back against it which made him groan from deep within his lungs. 

He dug his fingers into Alec’s lower back, pressing him even closer while his other rested on Alec’s neck. A sudden urge to devour him overtook all his senses. He wanted to be closer, as close as possible.

Alec slid his thigh between Magnus legs, widening them a bit to push against his crotch with every movement, Magnus immediately returned the gesture and pressed his own thigh against Alec. He had his hands resting on Alec’s shoulders now, holding his neck gently, almost involuntarily pulling him down and closer, Alec obeyed and nosed Magnus forehead before giving it a gentle kiss. Magnus felt his eyes close at the gesture and he inhaled deeply, realising Alec’s face was right before his, without opening his eyes he kissed his way along Alec’s chin and jaw, all his senses were on high alert, this felt so good and so intimate, it felt like they were one, it was warm and comforting and arousing all the same.

“Kiss me.” Magnus whispered with his eyes closed and he could feel Alec’s face shift down until their lips were in front of the others, he could feel Alec’s hot breath against his skin and felt his own lips tremble with excitement. Alec tilted his head a little and then pressed his soft lips forward and Magnus felt Alec’s lower lip slid between his own and sucked on it immediately; Alec hummed and Magnus felt the tremble of the noise run through his body. Magnus pushed his tongue forward, seeking entry and Alec opened his lips some more, welcoming his tongue with his own.

Magnus instinctively circled his hip to get some friction and rubbed his dick against Alec’s crotch and thigh; who instantly grabbed Magnus ass cheeks roughly and pulled him in closer while pressing his thigh forward some more. Their breaths got jerky and Magnus felt a warm tingle in his groin when Alec began to move himself against Magnus too. Their dicks occasionally brushed together and it felt hard and warm. This was something else, whatever this was, he loved every bit of it. Even the hands on his ass were oddly arousing. He loved to be surrounded by Alec.

“Alec!” A female’s voice shot across the room and both their heads snapped aside, Alec took a step back immediately, which Magnus noticed. “Demon. Come on!” Izzy yelled and waved her hand before running off, Alec sighed dramatically and rolled his eyes.

“You gotta be kidding me.” He groaned and then turned his eyes back to Magnus. “I’m so sorry, Magnus.” A gasp escaped the warlock’s lips. How were they always able to interrupt them when things got heated and this time, he didn’t want the interruption not in the slightest. “You are very much wanted Alexander.” He tried not to show his disappointment, but made sure that Alec got the hint. That he wanted Alec too. They were both still panting heavily and obviously hard. Not that it made any difference.

“But I only want to be with you…” he said in a sulking tone which made Magnus smile brightly.

“And I with you…I will see you in the Institute. Please, take care Alexander.” Alec took a step towards were Izzy ran off, but still didn’t leave Magnus, like he was trying not to but his head was telling him to go. His heart was very much not.

“Yes. I will be there. You too.” And with those words he was gone.

Great. His boner twitched in disappointed agreement.

“If you want, I could keep you company.” A girl’s voice said and Magnus turned around. He instantly noticed that he had seen that woman before, he was sure though he didn’t remember where. He gave her a tentative smile. “I didn’t know you would be around. I am pleased to see you.” Her predatory eyes bore right into his own. She was beautiful; indeed, she was thin but very feminine, her eyes sparkled and her hair wavy and thick. Though a bit confused by her words, he offered her his hand polite as he was.

“I’m Magnus. Magnus Bane.” Her smile washed off her face and she quirked an eyebrow, almost annoyed.

“What are you playing Magnus.” She spat and took a step forward into his personal space. She eyed his body, checking him out before landing on his eyes again, looking up from below her long eyelashes.

“Excuse me?” He stuttered and then furrowed his brow for a moment. That was odd.

“I see you are still with that shadowhunter of yours.” Alec? Was she talking about Alec? How did she know him? Was she some kind of stalker? Yes, he now remembered where he had seen her before, at the Hunter’s Moon at Simon’s gig. She was staring at him from the other side of the room.

“You know him?” He asked curiously, while taking a little step back. She tilted her head, her lips parting. She looked confused and partly angry.

“This is not funny; you are being childish.” She rolled her eyes and crossed her thin arms in front of her chest. What was going on? Who was that and why was she talking like she knew him? Magnus couldn’t think too long about it as he felt a hand on his arm, pulling him back.

“Camille!” Simon said as he stood in front of Magnus, blocking his view. Camille, apparently.

“Oh…you. I didn’t know you were here…or still ‘alive’.” She looked at him almost disgusted.

“Come on Magnus, we are leaving.” He said and pushed the warlock out of the hall and away from her, he could still hear her voice, yelling after them, before Magnus knew what was happening, he was already outside and the sharp cold wind stung in his lungs. It made his body shiver instantly.

“You know her?” He asked, lifting his shoulders and rubbing his hands together in a way to make himself warm, which didn’t work all too much.

“Yeah, unfortunately. She is my sire.” Magnus looked aside at Simon; a bit shocked by the news. That girl had turned him? She didn’t seem strong or dangerous or anything, how was she able to do that. Well, that explained why they didn’t seem to like eachother.

“I am sorry then.” Simon shrugged once more.

“Nothing to be sorry for, it’s a long time ago. She is just no good, you know, you don’t want to cross her ways. You should keep away from her.” Magnus didn’t plan on doing anything else, she didn’t seem like the nicest company from the 5 minutes he had talked to her.

“How are things between Izzy and you?” Magnus asked conversationally.

“Great actually, you can’t believe how happy I am with her, she is just the best woman in the world and I still can’t believe that she is mine.” Magnus nodded at the beaming vampire, yes Izzy was amazing he could agree on that and also, he understood why Simon felt so grateful. His choice of words though made him look down at his feet. ‘That she is mine’. Yes, that must be a great feeling.

“How are things between Alec and you?” Simon returned with a smirk and Magnus looked back up, eyes wide. What the…

“How-“ Simon laughed and pointed back to the club that was almost out of sight by now.

“You just made out in there, heavily if I may add. If that still counts as making out at all. I thought you were going to have sex any moment.” Magnus blushed profusely and averted his eyes. Yes, he knew that people were there too but he had forgotten that the others were around too, Alec’s siblings, Simon, Clary. Oh no. Oh, maybe that was why Alec had behaved so distant. Shit. Okay, he might have been a bit drunk.

“We might have lost our countenance a little.” Magnus rubbed the curve of his ear roughly and Simon showed his white sparkly teeth, grinning widely.

“I am happy for you, Magnus.” Magnus gave him a sheepish smile, obviously everyone was very much fine with Alec and him being a thing and it felt so strange but yet so comforting. Being accepted for what you like and for who you like, it was something new and something he would cherish for all his life. He felt accepted the way he was, accepted in their group.

“Thank you…I am happy too.” Magnus returned and felt the need to hug Simon, but- well fuck it, he turned aside and gave him a bear hug which Simon returned right away. Simon’s hugs were the best, he had become one of his very best friends in such a short time, they really just clicked. They parted again, reluctantly and strolled along side by side, shoulder by shoulder.

“Do you want to come to my place?” Magnus didn’t need to think about this, no he didn’t want to, he wanted to be there when Alec returned.

“No, I am very tired. I just want to go home.” He lied a bit; Simon didn’t seem to mind and so they parted ways after giving eachother another hug. He might have walked a bit quicker than necessary, his mind maybe a bit more cheerful than usual. He couldn’t wait to see Alec again.

Once back inside the Institute he went to shower immediately, trying hard not to jerk off in there, then brushed his teeth and went to dress himself in comfortable pyjamas, his chest still bare. He nearly jumped into bed and under the covers, Chairman Meow immediately followed him and snuggled himself on Magnus stomach. He stroked the cat with one hand while roaming through his phone with the other. He read old messages from Alec while memories of the night flashed his mind. That blond annoying guy that had flirted and touched him, to the way they danced together, also the fact that Alec had behaved weirdly around him, which was new. Though they ended up rubbing against eachother and kissing nonetheless.

And what amazing kiss that was, he could still feel his lips on his own, his scent around himself, his hands on his ass and his groin against his own. He couldn’t wait for Alec to return and to pick it back up again. Maybe. No, not maybe, definitely. He needed to feel him, to kiss him, to be close to him. Also, he needed to identify what they were, he hoped he didn’t overstep earlier with his jealousy fit, maybe Alec didn’t like it, maybe they weren’t on the same page and Alec didn’t like to be claimed. He should apologize for his behaviour later. He put his phone aside and then closed his eyes to enjoy the images of his memories some more until Alec was there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Magnus first night at a club, that went well, not? I am so sorry for the constant cock block guys, but it's not my fault 😂 Alec's siblings are born cock blocks. The next chapter will make up for it. Hope you enjoyed that sexual tension anyways 😏 Oooo and was that a jealousy fit? 😎 And was that Camille? 🤨 Let's hope Magnus doesn't take Alec's distancy too personal. Thanks for all the kudos and comments guys! Let me know your thoughts, you are the best 😘


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What?” Alec shifted next to him.
> 
> “What?” Magnus returned a little confused.
> 
> “What do you mean?” Magnus furrowed his brow as he heard the serious tone in Alec’s voice. What did he do? Did he say something wro- Magnus inhaled sharply as he realised his mistake and felt his hands go sweaty instantly, his heart thundering against his chest. Oh shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://ibb.co/QJpNRWN)

Magnus felt something slide across his skin and awoke, startled by the action. “Shhh...it’s just me.” Alec whispered into his ear from behind as he wrapped his strong arms around the naked warlock’s chest, who lay on his side towards the windows. Magnus could feel Alec’s warm and hairy chest press against his back and leant into it by instinct. “I didn’t mean to wake you.” Alec’s voice was raspy and it sent shivers through his body.

He might have fallen asleep earlier while waiting for Alec to return, he didn’t know what time it was now, but it surely was late or early, it was completely dark and quiet. He lay his arm on top of Alec’s that rested against his stomach and interlocked his fingers with his. “Welcome back.” He murmured a bit sleepy.

“I am sorry I was gone for so long; it took us a while.” Alec still whispered as if he didn’t want Magnus to wake up completely, but Magnus was already wide awake, has been since he felt Alec’s hand on his body.

“It’s okay, it’s your job. I don’t mind it really. Chairman Meow kept me good company.” Both chuckled quietly. Alec nosed Magnus against the back of his neck, sniffing on him which caused goosebumps to spread all over Magnus body. He felt Alec’s warm lips on his neck, another one and another one, the soft smacking noises they created.

“Do I need to be jealous?” Magnus laughed quietly and kept his eyes closed.

“Even though he gave me quite the number of kisses, I can assure you that yours are better. Much better.” Alec hummed against his skin from behind and stroked over his stomach gently.

Magnus began to breath quicker almost instantly, his chest heaving up and down. And his mind wasn’t the only thing stirring and awakening. He felt the blood rush down into his groin where it created a comfortable warmth in his hardening dick and if he wasn’t mistaken, he could feel Alec’s erection press against the back of his thighs below his ass.

It seemed Alec was just as aroused as him and had been wanting to continue this too, which sent a wave of excitement through his body. The thought that they were going to do naughty stuff now was enough to make his mind go blank.

It was still so new and different being intimate with Alec, it was more arousing than anything he had ever experienced before and he still didn’t know if it was the fact he was a man and knew which buttons to press but he was fairly sure it was because of Alec, he had never felt those mind blowing feelings before, those that completely took over your body and mind and made you want to be near that person at all times and as close as possible.

He shook as Alec kissed the side of his throat below his ear, that spot was very sensitive. “Sorry.” Alec murmured, but then kissed it again which made Magnus shake again.

“You are not.” Magnus corrected.

“No, I am not.” Alec agreed and then licked his way up his throat to his ear and Magnus let out a groan, feeling lightly embarrassed by the noise. “You taste so good.” Magnus felt his cheeks warm up and knew he was probably as red as a tomato, fortunately it was dark.

He swallowed roughly when an idea popped up in his head. He wetted his lips and breathed a few times, gathering all the courage he had in him, maybe it was the darkness, or the aroused state he was in for hours now, or the rest of alcohol in his system.

“You haven’t tasted all of me yet.” Magnus felt his heartbeat hammer away, so loud in his ears he was sure Alec could hear it too. He could hear Alec let out a small moan behind him.

“I plan to change that.” Alec pulled Magnus onto his back gently and then lifted himself, partly hovering above him but still leaning on his elbow next to Magnus. His warm lips met Magnus collarbone and Magnus had his hair in his face, not minding it one bit though, it smelled so good. Alec kissed down his body, lazily and softly. His body twitched as Alec kissed his left nipple and Magnus felt like he was going to explode. His body was on fire, his cock already pushing hard against his pyjama pants.

Alec smiled against his nipple and then wrapped his lips around it, nibbling on it, which caused a row of moans out of the warlock’s mouth. Magnus spread his fingers through Alec’s hair, the other one resting on his back, digging his fingertips into his skin. Fuck. The sensation was almost too much, he felt like pulling his chest away from his lips, but at the same time wanted to shove his nipple into his mouth more, it was a mix of emotions.

Alec stopped when the nipple was a hard nub and licked above it with pressure, making Magnus whine. He left the wet nipple to go for the other one, repeating his gestures on that one before blowing over it, enjoying the way Magnus shivered below him. He kissed his way down Magnus body until he reached his navelless stomach where he kissed the empty spot lovingly, it was a very sensitive spot and Magnus stomach muscles twitched.

Excitement filled every nerve and cell of his body the more Alec lowered himself on him, but then Alec made his way back up, leaving a trail of kisses on Magnus body. Why, why did he stop? Why did he go back up? Didn’t he want to go lower? To do more? But.

Magnus really wanted to feel his lips there, to know what it feels like. He had already prepared himself for it mentally and felt profoundly disappointed. There was nothing he wanted more in that very moment. He groaned in frustration, at himself and Alec. Maybe he hadn’t made his wish clear enough.

“What’s wrong?” Alec asked, in his always aware state of mind, noticing every little change in Magnus. The darkness and Alec’s gentle voice encouraging him more, Magnus decided to just voice his desires for once, what should happen, if Alec didn’t agree or looked at him strangely, he could still knock him out and run off to hide never to return. And if he agreed, the better.

“Can- Can you suck me?” Magnus held his breath the moment the words left his dry lips, really not knowing how Alec would react to that. They had never talked about it and Magnus didn’t know if he was into it or if he would be irritated by Magnus question. He was bracing himself for a laugh, or a negative response already, the way he had always been turned down in his past but Alec did none of that. He kept quiet. Which was even worse.

“Alexander?” Magnus asked, his voice slightly trembling. Fuck, this was the wrong decision. He was thinking of a way to let him down slowly, what was he thinking? If he wanted to blow you, he would have done it a second ago, he obviously didn’t want to. “I mean, if you don’t want to it’s okay. I don’t, I mean.” He began to stutter, feeling like this was a huge mistake. “I’m sorry.” Magnus rambled and was about to turn away and form a pile of shame.

“I want to, Magnus.” His deep voice pierced the tension filled air and Magnus didn’t know if those words relaxed him or made him even more excited. Did he just agree? Before he could think more about it, he felt Alec slide down his body, pulling on his pants and boxers while doing so, Magnus felt his cock jump out and slam against his abdomen. The pants slid off his feet and he felt Alec stretch his thighs apart, the warmth of his body between them. A gasp escaped Magnus lips to all this manhandling, it happened so quick, his mind had no time to process it.

Oh fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Magnus grabbed the sheets next to his body forcefully and stared into the darkness. He would feel vulnerable if it wasn’t so dark, Alec couldn’t see more than him, this was good. He wouldn’t see Magnus flushed face then or his probably shocked expression.

He didn’t know what he had expected but probably some talking before it, but Alec seemed to be eager to get it done. He felt Alec’s warm breath dance over the sensitive skin where his thigh met his groin before Alec kissed the spot, causing a twitch of his leg.

Fuck, did he shower? He really didn’t want Alec to get turned off by some weird smell. Oh no, he did shower, also he was clean shaven as he preferred it, he wasn’t much of a hair grower anyways. The thoughts flew out of the window the moment Alec sucked on one of his balls with his hot lips. It tingled a lot. “Fuck.” Alec giggled before he repeated the gesture and sucked it into his mouth again, licking against the wrinkled skin with his tongue, bouncing it a bit. Magnus had tiny round balls and Alec a wide mouth, so it was not a difficult task for Alec. He actually loved them.

Magnus rolled his eyes into his head, not knowing what to do with himself. Alec placed his hand on Magnus inner thigh and pushed his leg down a bit to keep him in place, Magnus didn’t even realise he had tried to push them together, it was just a reflex. Alec let it plop out of his mouth and then licked above them fully like it was the most tasteful thing there was.

Oh god. This was really happening. How long had he been waiting for this? Too long.

Alec licked his way up the thick vein on the underside of Magnus cock and Magnus let out a deep groan, not minding he probably sounded like a rutting elk.

“You like this, hm?” Alec whispered with a giggle as he wrapped his hand around Magnus base and Magnus nodded vehemently, but Alec couldn’t see it. His body tensed up the moment he felt Alec’s lips wrap around his head, it was hot and wet.

“Oh fuck…” Magnus felt like cumming on the spot.

His cock slid into Alec’s warm and soft mouth as Alec lowered himself on him and Magnus trembled, really trembled. His whole body shook from excitement, joy, oversensation, pleasure. He felt his cock hit the back of Alec’s mouth and he swallowed hard around him, before making his way back up while sucking, creating a vacuum. He looked down, but saw nothing, he only felt Alec between his legs, around his dick, it was so intimate and so good. He was speechless. This was so much better than he had imagined it.

Magnus felt his groin tingle at the base of his cock and a warmth spread all over his body, his balls tensed up and fuck, he was going to cum. He couldn’t cum just yet, not after one fucking suck. But it was just too much.

“Alexander.” He breathed and hit Alec’s forehead with his palm to push him off. He heard Alec yelp in pain. “Oh sorry, damn. I’m sorry. Are you okay?” Magnus tried to reach him with his hands, searching for his face until he reached his cheeks and stroked them a bit too eager.

“You hit me in the eye.” Alec groaned and held his head. “What happened? Did I hurt you?” He sounded concerned.

“No, I…” He began and then thought about it. Well, he could pretend. That was actually a good explanation. ”Well, yes a bit. But it’s okay. I am sorry for the hit.” Just roll with it.

“I’m sorry Magnus, I didn’t notice.” Magnus could clearly hear that Alec regretted it, the shame in his voice. Shit. He didn’t want Alec to feel like that. He didn’t deserve this, he had to be honest with him.

“No, I am sorry, you didn’t. You didn’t hurt me, I-I lied.” He confessed and again was overly glad it was dark. “It was just too much, I-I was going to cum and panicked. I’m sorry.” And he really was. About what he did, about his lie and about the fact he only lasted 20 seconds. He wanted to melt into the bed and get away from Alec’s response, from the look he was probably giving him in the dark.

“Magnus, it’s okay. There is nothing wrong with that. It’s been quite a while I assume; I know the feeling, believe me.” Magnus felt Alec’s hand on his cheek stroking above his skin with his thumb to comfort the warlock, who melted into the touch, into his words. Why was he so damn understanding? Quite a while, yes. Ha. He huffed a little laugh. Around 100 years, yes.

“Can I continue?” Magnus blinked a few times and then nodded, knowing Alec felt it with his hand on his cheek. “And try not to hit me again please, if there is anything you don’t like just tell me.” Magnus leant back on the bed and Alec lowered himself on Magnus again. He wrapped his hand back around Magnus cock and squeezed the base tightly to make it last a bit longer for the warlock. “You can cum in my mouth if you like.” He murmured before taking his cock back between his lips and Magnus felt his muscles tense up again. Fuck. He had to last, at least a bit.

Alec skilfully bobbed his head on him, swallowing him and going back up while sucking hard, tilting his head with every move. Magnus felt his slightly raspy tongue lick over his sensitive skin. “Oh fuck. Fuck…Alexander.” Alec continued slowly, lazily and sloppy and squeezed some more, to prevent Magnus from coming. Magnus felt the grip that almost hurt but was grateful for the help, grateful he could enjoy this for a bit longer, if only seconds. “I can’t.” he breathed desperately and twisted the sheets in his hands. He tried to hold on but the feeling was so overwhelming.

It didn’t help. He was rushing towards the inevitable. He breathed hard, jerky and inhaled deep as he tumbled over the edge after a thorough suck on his head and Alec loosened the grip on him as he felt his cock twitch and sucked him in deep and swallowed hard as Magnus cum spurt out of his cock followed by a loud and deep moan. Magnus body tensed up and shook violently as his orgasm washed over him. He never felt so vulnerable and out of control in his whole life and he almost ripped the sheets below his fingers, his legs trembling. The feeling of Alec swallowing around his head made him almost lose his mind, he was taking it all without a little complain or sound, just swallowing.

Magnus felt tears at the edges of his eyes from how overwhelmed he was. Alec moved his head up and down a few more times and then there was nothing but cold air hitting Magnus sensitive skin. His cock was completely wet but clean of all cum. Alec let it go, knowing how sensitive he was afterwards, Magnus felt his body jerk with aftershocks. He just concentrated on breathing and not fainting. Alec lowered himself next to Magnus and pulled the blanket up before wrapping his arm around him, giving him a loving kiss on the shoulder.

“Did you like it?” Alec asked with pride in his voice, he of course noticed Magnus strong reaction, the tremble of his body, his moans and the way he was speechless now. He loved he could do this to him, make Magnus speechless.

“Thank you…” Magnus whispered. Not knowing if this was the right thing to say after this but he really needed to thank him, this was probably the best orgasm he had had in his whole life. And he finally had it, he could finally have what he wanted, because of Alec. He felt his heart swell even more for the shadowhunter, feeling oddly closer after that intimate gesture. He didn’t take this for granted, that Alec gave this to him was something special.

“Thank you.” Alec returned. “I know I repeat myself, but you taste amazing.” Magnus didn’t even work against the blush creeping up his ears because Alec couldn’t see it. Alec had really swallowed it all and apparently, he tasted good. He wondered what he tasted like. He reached for Alec and slid his hand up Alec’s waist, needing to touch him in whatever way.

“Do you enjoy this?” Magnus asked curiously as he finally regained his normal breathing rhythm. He had noticed how Alec had savoured every second of it. “Blowjobs I mean.”

“I enjoy doing it to you. I have never done it to anyone else.” Alec said and then hissed at his slip up. Magnus immediately tensed and looked aside into the darkness.

“This was not your first time, Alexander. You were way too good. Don’t be ridiculous.” He said seriously, not knowing why Alec was lying. Maybe he wanted to make a joke. “Wait for my lousy first try, then you will see the difference.” He laughed.

“What?” Alec shifted next to him.

“What?” Magnus returned a little confused.

“What do you mean?” Magnus furrowed his brow as he heard the serious tone in Alec’s voice. What did he do? Did he say something wro- Magnus inhaled sharply as he realised his mistake and felt his hands go sweaty instantly, his heart thundering against his chest. Oh shit.

“I-I eh.” He began and then laughed, desperately laughed and wished he could just vanish. “I mean, if I ever do it, I- there will-“ he stuttered and completely lost control over his speech. Fuck concentrate Magnus. He felt the bed dip and then Alec was gone. Magnus clenched his eyes shut the moment the light was turned on and hissed loudly. “Ah god. Why.” He stretched his arm towards the light to shield himself.

“Magnus.” Alec said with determination and Magnus tried to open his eyes, it was so bright, it hurt. He sat up straight, having the covers pool around his naked waist. He finally managed and saw Alec standing by the door, his hand on the light switch, his eyes on him. His body was tense, his brow furrowed and his eyes narrow. “Your first try? What do you mean by that?” He repeated.

Magnus tried to look oblivious and tilted his head, playing with the curve of his ear. “I don’t know what you are talking about.”

“Magnus.” He repeated in a ‘don’t fuck with me’ tone and Magnus tensed for a second at Alec’s loud voice. He knew there was no way out of this. He sighed and then dropped his arms into his lap. His shoulders lowering.

“Okay, I-I have never done this before. This.” He gestured to his own lap and then tentatively lifted his eyes to Alec whose eyes nearly popped out of its sockets.

“You have never given a blow job before?” Magnus chew on the inside of his cheek for a moment and then gasped, well. Better get it all out now.

“And I have never received one, until now.” He added and he could watch Alec pale in front of him.

“That-That was your first? What? How? Are you kidding me?” Alec’s voice grew louder and he looked utterly confused, gesturing his hands wildly in the air. “How is that possible.” he blurted. “You are a century old and you have had others, I mean I know you have.” He stuttered and Magnus felt his heartbeat so strong and fast that he felt like it was going to burst.

This was exactly why he didn’t tell Alec; this was exactly the reaction he had feared. That Alec would judge him for his inexperience and be disappointed or angry even. A cold shiver ran down his spine while his body began sweating nonetheless.

“I-I…” he stuttered, but really was out of words at the moment. He didn’t feel comfortable, in fact he felt really uncomfortable right now. This felt like some interrogation, this was the way Alec spoke when he was in his Head of the Institute mode and Magnus felt utterly bare and out of place.

Alec came closer and stood right in front of the bed. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Magnus looked up, his lips parted and his eyes soft, he wanted to explain, but he wasn’t prepared for this now, the words just wouldn’t leave his mouth. He was sorry Alec found out this way and that he was lacking of an explanation but there was only so much he could do right now. He averted his eyes again and clenched his jaw. If only Alec would give him a moment to gather himself and stop the interrogation for a second maybe then he could explain, he felt Alec’s tension and heard the coldness in his voice. It was awful and he didn’t want this to happen.

“I am so stupid, I should have seen this, I should have noticed. You could barely last a minute.” Magnus breath hitched and he looked up at him with hurt in his eyes, feeling them water instantly while the humiliating words burned right into his soul. He looked back down slowly, blinking rapidly to fight against the tears while closing his mouth that had went slack.

“Magnus?” Alec whispered softly as he saw Magnus avert his shimmering eyes and the clenching of his jaw, it was like he saw him for the first time within the past 5 minutes, he had been completely out of control after Magnus confession, the words had tumbled out of him, the confusion was just too much and he still couldn’t understand it.

He just realised what he had said to him, the words replayed in his head and it made him sick how cold and accusing they sounded, he didn’t mean to hurt him or judge him for never having done this before, it just took him by surprise. But he did, he hurt him and he saw it painfully clear.

Magnus turned to the other side, pushed down the covers, grabbed his pants to dress himself before getting off the bed on the window side, he crossed the bed but Alec already rushed towards him, towering over him and holding his arm. “Let me go.” Magnus hissed through his teeth without looking up.

“Magnus…” Alec’s confused tone turned into concern and Magnus could feel Alec’s fingers tremble on his arm, but he didn’t let go. “I am sorry. I didn’t mean it like that, I- shit.” He stuttered and felt his chest clench at the thought that Magnus wanted to get away from him, that he had caused this.

“I said let me go.” Magnus didn’t want to hurt Alec, but the shadowhunter wouldn’t listen. Magnus turned his arm around to get out of his grip and then rushed past him. He needed a moment to himself, a moment to breath. He felt too ashamed and hurt to listen to him right now. And if Alec reacted so strongly to this, he didn’t want to know how he felt about the rest of it.

It was like Alec’s mind just then realised everything that had happened the past minutes and what he said and how Magnus had reacted, he could see Magnus expression as he made the remark about his quick orgasm before his eyes and realised painfully how rude that was. He felt like the biggest jerk ever, he would feel utterly ashamed if Magnus had behaved that way and said those things at his first time, in fact Magnus was so understanding and loving when they had done it. And this was how he returned it.

He didn’t actually mean it that way, he was talking to himself, telling himself that he should have noticed it, he hated himself for not having noticed it, he completely forgot that Magnus was there and listened and might have misunderstood this. Which didn’t make it okay, he shouldn’t have said those things in front of Magnus he knew that now, it was just extremely insensitive.

“Magnus, please don’t. Stay. I am so sorry.” Alec’s voice broke and his eyes filled with tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the secret is finally out...part of it and I know you've been waiting a while. At least Magnus had his first blow job before...yay? Do share your thoughts. Thanks so much for all the kudos and comments on the last chapter 😘


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What happened?” Jace motioned for him to follow and Alec walked next to him, strolling through the rooms side by side, their coffee’s in hands.
> 
> “Nothing.” Alec answered and took a sip.
> 
> “Yeah right, like I didn’t feel that explosion of emotions yesterday night. Come on, tell me.” Alec looked around himself and then stopped, turning to Jace who stopped as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://ibb.co/SrfYw6P)

Magnus held the doorknob in his hand and breathed against the door, his forehead leaning against it. It took all his courage to let his hand drop, he turned around tentatively, with the cold wooden door against the heated skin of his back, he stared ahead at the floor in front of him. He couldn’t speak and just clenched his jaws. Alec watched him carefully. He looked confused and hurt, but he stayed and that was all that mattered.

“I’m sorry.” Alec never meant to make him feel that way, it wasn’t his intention his mind just snapped the moment Magnus had muttered those words. And he couldn’t even begin to understand them yet. That he was the first to do that to Magnus seemed unreal. But he had to focus now, focus on Magnus and his feelings. He just felt like he was losing Magnus, like he was slipping out of his hands, he felt the moment their connection broke, when Alec broke the connection and he needed to repair it, needed to make this right.

“I will stop. I won’t ask about this again. It’s not my business and you don’t need to explain yourself, Magnus. Just know that I didn’t mean to judge you for it, there is nothing wrong with it and I am deeply sorry. Please, stay.” He had never seen Magnus this startled before, this confused and lost, not when he was completely sober. And he hated he had caused this. He kept his distance, not daring to come closer to not scare him away.

Magnus rose his eyes slowly to meet Alec’s and in fact he could see tears in his eyes. He didn’t know Alec for long but he could tell that he meant every word he just said and that he was sorry for how he behaved. Though that didn’t erase what he said. He didn’t like people lashing out at him and didn’t expect Alec to do so. But…he also felt shame about his own behaviour. It was not only Alec’s fault; he kept this secret for too long and it just caught Alec off guard. He had meant to tell him differently…in a calm setting.

“I should have told you.” Magnus whispered and could see Alec shake his head slowly.

“No, don’t take the blame for this, you didn’t have to tell me anything. I shouldn’t have reacted like a jerk.” Magnus felt the edge of his lips twitch for a second, at least he knew he was a jerk. That was something.

“We can agree on that.” Magnus replied dryly and Alec sighed, a little desperate chuckle leaving his lips, he was relieved that Magnus was talking to him at all.

“I would have- I would have done this differently if I had known it was your first time.” Alec explained and now it was Magnus turn to shake his head.

“It was perfect Alexander…” Magnus whispered and forced himself to keep eye contact. “I don’t think I would have wanted it any other way.” Alec inhaled and pressed his lips together, feeling the edges of his eyes getting watery. He was an emotional mess right now and those words meant a lot to him, they eased his mind if only for a second.

“But still, this wouldn’t have happened if I was honest with you from the beginning.” Magnus opened and closed his mouth a few times. “I have also never done a hand job before.” Magnus confessed and Alec felt his eyes widen again. Magnus observed him, fighting against the urge to look away out of shame.

He knew he owed Alec an explanation, he owed him the truth. And even though it was painful to confess to his inexperience and the lies, he was also afraid to lose Alec if he wouldn’t tell it, that things would escalate again. Alec deserved the truth. He had been nothing but honest with him.

“Okay.” Alec answered lamely, but he had to process this first. That one time in the office, that was his first also? He looked very sure while doing it and it felt amazing, he must be a natural. He gathered all his strength to not blurt out what was on his mind, he didn’t want to do the same mistake again. So even though he was utterly confused and surprised, he remained calm. “It was amazing, Magnus. But you didn’t need to do it, I could have taken care of it myself, I hope you didn’t force yourself-” Alec kept his voice low and soft, and tried to keep the tremble out of it.

“I wanted to do it.” Magnus quickly interrupted his line of thoughts and was glad Alec had enjoyed it. He had had enough practise on himself, it was one thing he was good at, probably the only one when it came to sexual activities.

“And the…the one time in the training room, was that…?” Alec questioned carefully, hoping he was not overstepping, but since Magnus began to talk about this by himself, maybe it was okay. The memory played in his head, how he pushed Magnus on the table and jerked him off, all very rough, all without asking for consent, thinking that he might have forced Magnus into this made him sick. He remembered the moment Magnus had stopped him, oh god…he didn’t want this.

“No, it wasn’t. I’ve had hand jobs before, but I must confess it was something else. It was…great.” Magnus lips twitched, almost smiling before his expression went blank again. It actually was amazing and he had loved the way Alec manhandled him, he was so strong and knew what he wanted and that was extremely sexy, though he would never admit he liked it. He watched Alec look around himself helplessly, he looked lost, confused and sick. “Are you okay?”

“Yes…I am. Sorry. So, it was only the blow jobs and that one hand job…” He mumbled to himself, trying to understand. Pictures of all the times they made out crossed his mind. “But you’ve had sex before.” He stated without a question mark. “Have you?” He added almost in a whisper and Magnus felt the shame creep back up. He had reacted so strongly to the blow job how would he react about this…

“Yes,-“ He began and saw Alec sigh, closing his eyes for a moment. Magnus closed his mouth again as he saw his reaction and he had to force himself to continue. “but…” He added and Alec opened his eyes again. He felt his heart throb in his throat, his mouth felt parched. “Never with a man. You-you are my first man, Alexander.”

Alec opened his mouth, feeling like all air was punched out of his lungs. What? What? What? No? How? Magnus watched Alec pale in front of him. Magnus couldn’t remember a time when he felt more vulnerable than in this moment, he was being honest and open and felt bare to the bones and Alec looked like he was about to faint. “Alexander?”

“I-I-I…don’t. I need…” he stuttered and then began breathing deep and jerky, his posture wavering and Magnus thought he was really going to faint, he pushed himself off the door and went to Alec and grabbed him by the shoulder, the other hand on his waist, to steady him.

“You should sit.” Magnus suggested and pushed Alec to the end of the bed carefully to make him sit. He did, but he looked frozen. Magnus lowered himself and knelt in front of him while looking up at him with concern in his eyes. “Breathe…” he stroked Alec’s thigh tenderly to soothe him. He didn’t understand Alec’s strong reaction to this, but he tried not to take it personally and focus on Alec. He didn’t like seeing him like this and he didn’t really know how to help him except be there for him.

Did he hear this right? He was his first? He couldn’t wrap his mind around this however he tried. Magnus was the first to give him all of this and now he was his first? This was so confusing and odd. His head began to hurt by the mere thoughts of it. He tried to shove the pride away that swell in his chest the next second, he couldn’t feel pride or joy, not now. He wondered why he didn’t notice this earlier or think about it, Magnus had behaved odd often enough around him. But he had said he had flings before, how could he have assumed. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked once more.

“I was ashamed.” Magnus admitted immediately, not in the mood to talk around the bush anymore. He decided to be honest and he would stick with it. “You assumed I was experienced, you said I was used to spreading my legs for guys and I-I panicked.” Alec felt bile rise up his throat at the memory.

This was his fault; he had assumed Magnus had had many boyfriends before and had pressured him into pretending it wasn’t so. He wouldn’t have behaved that way with him if he had known, he wouldn’t have been so pushy and he hated he couldn’t take it back. That he couldn’t fully experience these first times with him and make it special for Magnus.

“I am so sorry.” Alec replied, his voice breaking and looked into Magnus eyes, tears again filling them. “I didn’t know.”

Magnus smiled softly. “No, you didn’t. It’s not your fault, Alexander. It’s mine.”

“If I did anything that made you uncomfortable or you weren’t ready for-“ Alec began to ramble but Magnus quickly shushed him.

“No, listen to me, I wanted this, all of it. I would never do something I don’t want to do. Maybe I would have gone slower, but I don’t regret any of it. It was…wonderful, at least to me.” Magnus squeezed Alec’s leg while saying those words, hoping he would see how sincere they were.

Magnus gaze shifted into something else. “Alexander, I hope you don’t think less of me now.” Alec looked into Magnus unsure brown eyes, sitting on the ground and looking up at him, he looked so young, so innocent and so vulnerable. He instantly caught on the fact Magnus had said those words to him before and he hated how insecure Magnus was in whatever age. That he feared people thought bad of him for who he was. Whoever made him that way, he needed to rot in hell.

“No, Magnus, no I would never.” He said with determination and realised he had to man up, this wasn’t about him, this was about Magnus. “You are prefect the way you are, experienced or not and I would have accepted you either way. There is nothing to be ashamed about, there is a first time for everything and of course I wish you would have told me earlier so I could have behaved properly, but I understand why you did it.”

Magnus felt a warmth spread in his body, coming from his heart and reaching to his head and toes. He accepted him the way he was, he always did, how could he have assumed Alec to behave any different than that? He should have told him earlier. But he felt utterly relieved that he had said it now and it was off his chest.

Alec reached forward and pulled Magnus up to stand, while doing the same and then took his hands in his carefully. He met Magnus eyes, that shimmered up at him with a mix of emotions. Alec tilted his head and leant in when he saw the tiny flinch of Magnus head; he stopped and pulled himself back immediately and Magnus saw the throb of disappointment that flickered behind Alec’s eyes. He rose his hands to Alec’s flushed cheeks and pressed his fingers into his skin while going on tip toes and then planted his lips on Alec’s, shaky and careful, Alec froze for a second before he melted into the kiss and their mouths moved with lazy and loving waves, savouring the other’s taste.

Alec could feel the tremble of Magnus lips and felt the exhaustion in his body. He pulled his lips back and watched Magnus open his eyes, he tilted his head aside to place another warm kiss on Magnus palm and saw the twitch of his lips, before he grabbed the hand and pulled him to the side of the bed gently, lifting the covers for him. “Let us go to bed, it was a long day. We can talk more tomorrow.” He suggested because he saw how wrecked Magnus was, he needed to rest. “I can sleep somewhere else if you like.” Magnus tilted his head with a frown.

“Now, don’t be ridiculous. You sleep with me.” Magnus got into the bed and then stretched his arm to Alec, who looked a bit unsure but then took his hand and followed him into bed. Magnus instantly snuggled himself against Alec’s warm body and Alec embraced him with his long arms, breathing slowly against his hair and pressing him against his body. Magnus felt his body relax, the tension completely leaving his body.

“Thank you for telling me and staying to listen to me. I’m an ass sometimes, I don’t always think.” Magnus chuckled softly at his words. No, he didn’t always think he had noticed that already but it made him even more adorable.

“I am glad I stayed.” Magnus whispered back and squeezed him some more and then went quiet for a bit. “Alexander, I hope you don’t think I am rude for not returning the favour earlier.” Alec furrowed his brow, not really getting what Magnus was talking about at the moment. “The blow job, I mean. I think it’s custom to return it or at least something.”

“No, you don’t owe me anything and you are definitely not rude. Please, don’t ever do anything because you think you have to, okay? That’s not how it works, at least not for me.” Magnus looked up at him with a fake offended expression.

“If you don’t want me to blow you, just say it.” Alec furrowed his brow again at the sudden turn.

“That is not what I meant, no I want you to, of course I do-“ he stopped as he heard Magnus chuckle and rolled his eyes. That cheeky warlock.

“I get it.” Magnus added and stopped his teasing. He just hoped that Alec knew that he would never be as good as Alec in that, his skills were beyond amazing. He wasn’t even sure if that monster of a dick fit into his mouth. Maybe he could just lick it, like a cat. Oh boy, he needed to make sure it was pitch dark when that would ever happen. He shook his head at his own thoughts but it felt good, his mind cleared again, he felt good in Alec’s presence, he felt sure and accepted and that was rare.

Alec squeezed him and stroked his back lazily, while thinking about everything that had happened. He was his first. They were their firsts. This was too confusing for Alec to process, his mind needed to rest and before he even closed his eyes, he heard Magnus snoring softly against his chest. He held him some tighter and would never ever let him go again.

\---

Alec opened his eyes slowly, rubbing the sleep out of them, before stretching himself. He sat up and looked aside to the sleeping warlock next to him. It was still dark but he knew it was around 5 already, he didn’t need to look at his phone to know that, it was the time he always woke up. Alec carefully brushed his fingers along Magnus cheek and watched him twitch to the touch. He quickly pulled it back and leant back against the headboard, still observing him.

It was as if he was seeing him in a whole different light. He looked way younger than before and Alec wondered if he had always looked like this and Alec was too oblivious to notice, or if his mind played him tricks. He was so…innocent. And Alec immediately had to think of himself not too long ago. He was shy and insecure and Magnus helped him grow, be confident and express his needs and desires. 

Magnus reminded him a lot of himself now, he surely was very confused about all of this, being with a man for the first time. Touch one, kiss one; Alec gasped as he realised that he was Magnus first kiss also, his mind was too occupied yesterday. He replayed their first kiss in his mind, Magnus hadn’t kissed him back at first and had seemed startled. He groaned internally, there were so many signs, why didn’t he see them before?

And the way he oogled Alec, like he had never seen a naked man before, the way he responded to his touches, strokes, kisses, he was very responsive to it all. The scene in the shower then followed, where he had practically shoved his dick in his face and the moment, he had called him a slut very subtle. If he had known, he would have taken his time, would have went with Magnus pace, would have asked him if it was okay. He never asked if it was okay, he just did it. And Magnus had always seemed overwhelmed. He had fucked this all up. Now Magnus first memories of this was of some pushy, needy guy who didn’t care if he wanted it or not. Alec felt like punching himself.

He slid out of the bed as quiet as possible and then went to dress himself, a tank top and jogging pants had to do, he left the room quietly and then made his way to the ops center, he really needed to let off some steam, to punch something. He walked through it, not minding to greet anyone and went up to the platform where the punching bag was; he grabbed the tape and covered his hands with it before darting right in.

One punch after the other, one breath after the other, he tried to concentrate on nothing but the feeling of the heavy bag against his hands and soon began panting. Sweat began to form on his skin and he groaned with every punch he landed. He was angry at himself, at his behaviour and wished he could turn back time or at least that Magnus meant what he said, that he had liked and enjoyed this, he had to believe in it.

“What did that punching bag ever do to you?” Jace asked as he strolled up to him in his training outfit, two coffees in his hands. Alec stopped and held the bag with one hand; realising how much they throbbed and hurt. “Here.” He handed one of them to Alec, as he usually did and Alec grabbed it, seeing that his knuckles were bleeding. He wiped the back of his hand over his sweaty forehead where his hair was clutched against his skin.

“I just needed to get my head clear.” He sighed and then blew on his hot coffee some, seeing Jace do the same.

“What happened?” Jace motioned for him to follow and Alec walked next to him, strolling through the rooms side by side, their coffee’s in hands.

“Nothing.” Alec answered and took a sip.

“Yeah right, like I didn’t feel that explosion of emotions yesterday night. Come on, tell me.” Alec looked around himself and then stopped, turning to Jace who stopped as well.

“Magnus he…” Alec began and then gulped, realising that Magnus might not want everyone to know. It was something very intimate and he shouldn’t scream it around the Institute. Even though he rarely kept secrets from Jace, he actually told him everything, if he didn’t already know through their bond. He needed to think about this first. “He asked me to suck him and so I did.” Alec ended the sentence the best way he could, so Jace thought the emotions came from that. Jace took a sip of his coffee and then smacked his lips.

“Okay, good talk.” Jace turned and left without saying another word and Alec laughed at his behaviour, relieved it had worked.

They occasionally talked about sexual stuff but Jace always squirmed when it got too detailed. Not that Alec wasn’t the same when Jace told him about Clary. It was just something awkward about this. But they did it anyways, because both needed someone to talk to and talking to their sister about this was no option. First it was their sister and second she loved details and it made them cringe when she went explicit.

Alec made his way to Jace room and took a shower there; he didn’t want to wake Magnus yet. He dressed himself with his spare stuff and then made his way to the cafeteria. It was pancake day. He observed the pancakes from afar and then decided to go to the kitchen. Two shadowhunters busily worked in there, running from one side to the other while Alec took all the ingredients he needed and then made his own pancakes.

He knew Magnus didn’t like the Institute food at all and he wanted to surprise him with something special. He turned the pancakes in the pan and watched them brizzle before putting them all on a plate, he poured some maple syrup and butter on top, made a hot coffee and then made his way up to Magnus.

\---

“Good morning.” Magnus awoke and bat his eyes open, seeing Alec sitting on the other side of the bed, one foot on the ground and a tray with a plate full of pancakes and a hot coffee next to it. Magnus straightened himself to sit, the soft covers gliding off his body with a rustle and then gave Alec a wide, sleepy smile.

“Good morning.” His was voice raspy. “Why did you bring it? Did I sleep so long? Did I miss it?” Alec shook his head.

“No, I just wanted to make you breakfast in bed. I thought you might like it.” He said a bit unsure and watched how Magnus rubbed his eyes.

“Yes, I do, thank you. This is really sweet of you.” Alec gave him another wide smile and then leaned forward, Magnus lifted his chin just in time and was met with Alec’s warm lips. He hummed against them until Alec pulled back. “I could get used to this.” Magnus murmured and Alec chuckled beside him, before he watched Magnus eat and drink his coffee. It tasted different than usual; this was actually good. “Wow, Eva really put some love into this today.”

“Actually, I made them.” Alec whispered and Magnus perked up, mouthing a ‘you?’ and Alec nodded. “I know you don’t like the ones from the Institute and I wanted you to have a breakfast you enjoy.” Magnus blinked slowly, that damn sweet guy.

“Thank you…really, how do I deserve you?” Magnus mused and Alec stared him right in the eyes.

“I could ask you the same thing.” Magnus grinned and Alec made himself more comfortable on the bed and Magnus made some space, a few minutes of silence followed while Magnus ate again. He was wrapped in Alec’s comforting scent and also that of melting butter. It tasted wonderful.

“I didn’t know you can cook. That is a surprise…a pleasant one I might add.” He murmured between munches.

“Well, I know a few things.” He actually enjoyed cooking a lot and was rather good at it, Eva taught him all he knew about it.

“I never really learned how to cook. I can make a soup…I think.” The only memories he had of that was his mother cooking, mostly vegetables, sometimes meat. Often soups. That was the only time he had watched someone cook, he was able to magic himself food which was quite convenient, but it didn’t always work out right. His time in England made him quite the picky eater, the food was splendid, Ragnor had exquisite taste.

“I can show you a few things if you want to, I can use the kitchen whenever I want.” Magnus nodded.  
“How did you sleep?” Alec asked a bit guarded; Magnus could understand the secret message in there. The unasked question about what he thought of yesterday, if he regretted it.

“Quite good actually. I dreamt of a lovely, tall and handsome shadowhunter,” Alec’s lips curled upwards and he looked aside with adoration in his eyes, maybe a hint of embarrassment. “…with blond hair.” Alec’s expression fell instantly and Magnus sucked his lips in, his body shaking with repressed laughter. Alec slapped him on the thigh playfully and Magnus grimaced, rubbing the spot, while mouthing an ‘ouch’.

“You deserved that.” Alec murmured and leant forward, placing another peck below Magnus ear; his body moved aside with the movement before he looked at Alec who kept his head close so their faces almost brushed against the other. Their eyes met and it felt ridiculously intimate.

“I have a meeting to attend in…30 minutes. Will I see you after?” Magnus nodded, not really able to say a word when Alec was so close. Alec gave him another snug peck on the blushed cheek and then got up to get to work.

“Hey Alexander!” Alec turned in the doorway, holding the door with one hand, his eyebrows up. “It was actually you in my dream.” Magnus whispered.

“And what did you dream?” Magnus tilted his head aside with a shy smile.

“Of this.” Alec opened his mouth before closing it again, obviously speechless. “You gotta go.” Magnus added, feeling slightly embarrassed and Alec nodded before leaving. Magnus returned to his food and swallowed it all down before snapping his fingers, having the tray disappear and reappear in the kitchen. Hopefully.

Magnus was extremely glad that Alec didn’t seem to have a problem with him, with this new situation, he wasn’t treating him differently like he had feared he would. He was his usual self, maybe even sweeter than before and Magnus felt really grateful for that. He had really feared he wouldn’t come near him anymore, well he had yet to see how Alec would behave when they were intimate now. If he ever was again, hopefully he didn’t scare him off now.

He inhaled deeply and let out a long sigh while Chairman jumped onto the bed and he snuggled him against himself. “I told him Chairman; I finally did. And it feels good.” He told the cat who bumped his head against Magnus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dum dum dummm...Magnus told him 😲 What do you think of that and Alec's reaction? It was quite the surprise I guess. After last time's angst chapter I hope you enjoyed this emotional one 😁 Thanks for all the kudos and comments on the last one! You guys are the best! Mua! 😘


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Happy to see me?” Alec whispered and Magnus groaned loudly, of course he saw. He hated how Alec always noticed, how he would even talk about it. But he also loved how Alec flirted with him so shamelessly, he didn’t change himself, he didn’t treat him differently and that meant a lot to Magnus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://ibb.co/F6yw01Y)

“Biscuit!” Magnus shouted, making the redhead stop in her tracks, she turned and then quickly went to the warlock. “I’ve been searching for you, I wanted to ask you something.” Clary nodded and put her hands into her sides.

“Shoot.” Magnus narrowed his eyes. “I mean ask away.” She gestured for him to continue, realising he didn’t know the expression.

“So, ehm, I wanted to make something special for Alec, he has been so nice to me always and I feel like I didn’t return it good enough, so I had an idea, but I don’t know…” he stuttered and Clary smiled at him softly. She loved how Magnus would come to her for advice or just simple questions, like she had done with him in the past. She shouldn’t feel as proud as she did.

“Tell me!” She clapped her hands together, all excited.

“Do you have like…a bathtub in the Institute? I want to make him a bubble bath.” Magnus grimaced the moment the words left his lips, feeling a cringe deep inside him as he thought about the fact that Alec probably wouldn’t like that at all or feel awkward seeing it. He was a man and no girl. Magnus didn’t know how to be romantic with a man, he noticed once more. “I’m sorry, forget it.”

Clary quickly grabbed his hand to prevent him from leaving. “No, wait, that is a wonderful idea! I think he would appreciate it a lot, he works more than any of us and I think something to relax him would be just perfect.” She smiled widely and her eyes sparkled.

“Do you think? I thought so too, he is always so hard. I mean tense. Tense! His body is, you know.” Magnus sucked in his cheeks, in a desperate attempt to hide his blush and Clary laughed loudly, not caring about people hearing them.

“Oh, I know.” She gave him a knowing look. “Izzy has a bathtub in her bathroom. I could ask her for a girl’s night out with me so you have the room to yourselves.” She offered.

Magnus opened his mouth, making his cheeks plop back into place. “Really? You would do that? That would be great.”

“Of course! No problem. BUT you have to promise me to tell him.” She pointed a daring finger at him and Magnus gave her a mischievous look in return.

Clary’s jaw fell to the floor, her eyes wide open. “Oh my god! You did, didn’t you? How did it go, what did he say?” She grabbed Magnus arm and pulled him aside until they sat on one of the benches where they had some privacy.

Magnus tilted his head from one side to the other making an unsure sound. “It went okay-ish.” She placed her hand on his thigh immediately and looked at him intensely.

“Tell me everything.” Magnus had to chuckle from how excited she was and then took a long breath before telling her the story. Clary nodded, shook her head, gaped at him, laughed, fought against tears all in a matter of minutes. “That jerk!” She then exclaimed

“No, he was just confused, it was a lot to take in, I understand that. I should have just told him right away. His reaction was normal, I guess. He could have just left me there, he could have been angry at me for lying, he did no such thing. He wasn’t angry I lied, not for one second. And he told me that he doesn’t care about my inexperience at all.” Magnus assured her, feeling the need to defend him.

“Alec lo…likes you a lot Magnus, more than anything. I knew he would accept you and I told you so.” Magnus glanced at her from aside, knowing she did and knowing she was right. Maybe it was good it had come this way, who could tell if he had ever found the courage to tell him. And if they had ended up building a relationship on a lie. That was nothing he wanted, honesty was important for him and he had hated himself for making Alec believe.

He couldn’t wait to surprise Alec later, to return all the affection he had received the past weeks, Alec had been so sweet and caring, took him to dinner, offered his room and his heart.

“I need something for the bubbles, you think I can just snatch something from Izzy?” Magnus then asked, as his mind had wandered back to Alec’s surprise.

“Yeah, she won’t notice, just take it.” She waved her hands and Magnus nodded. “Will you…do you want to take the next step with Alec?” Magnus licked his lips, blinking a few times. He still had to get used to this open sex talk.

“We ehm, we had some fun last night, before it escalated.”

“What kind of fun?” She inquired and came a little closer and Magnus felt his cheeks blush.

“It involved…lips.” Clary squeaked like a pig beside him and clapped her hands.

“Yes! And how was it? Did you use our advices?” Magnus lowered his head as he felt the blush rise to his ears. “Ohhhhh…he did it to you?” She asked and bit her lower lip for a second. “How was it?” She asked more careful now.

“Good.” Clary stared at him, raising one eyebrow slowly. He looked aside, seeing her expression and then sighed. “Okay, it was amazing. I have never felt anything like that before to be honest. I have no words for it. He is so good at this.” Clary grimaced for a second. “And he swallowed it Clary…he swallowed it all.” Magnus eyes were wide and Clary shook her head slowly. “Too much?”

“Too much.” She answered and then laughed. “So, enjoy your night with Aleeeeec, I will distract the sister.” Magnus shook his head in amusement before they got up and parted.

\---

Magnus opened Izzy’s door slowly, peeking inside to see if it was empty. It was. So, Clary had managed. Alec had messaged him earlier that the meeting was taking longer than expected and that he was free around 7, which was in 20 minutes. Magnus quickly pulled out his phone and texted Alec that he was in Izzy’s room, making Alec believe that he was spending time with his sister and he could join. He shoved the phone back inside his pocket and then quickly made his way to the bathroom.

There it was, a white and elegant looking bathtub on the other side of the room, it wasn’t big but big enough for one and Magnus just hoped that it was big enough for Alec. He immediately went to turn the water on, feeling the temperature and then let his eyes roam around the room, he opened some shelves and searched through the different bottles.

Shampoo, shower gel, lotions, until he found a pink bottle with an image of bubbles and flowers. He opened it, sniffing it curiously when a strong female scent rushed down his nose, smelling like coconut with vanilla. He closed it quickly and put it away. Nope, he was very sure Alec wouldn’t appreciate that. He looked around some more, but there was nothing else.

With a gasp he straightened himself again. Shit. The tub was already halfway full and it was only 10 minutes left. He knelt down in front of the tub and pushed his sleeves up, hovering his hands above the water. The water began to move, little bubbles appeared, plopping open at the surface. But the foam he was aiming for didn’t come.

He threw his head back with a groan, feeling desperate. He didn’t want to fuck this up. He needed something that smelled good; he inhaled sharply as a thought struck his mind and snapped his fingers, having his own sandalwood shampoo appear in his hands, well it was shampoo but it should work. He poured it into the tub and watched the bubbles form.

“Yes!” He sighed relieved and then splashed his hands in the water to make the bubbles appear quicker, before getting up and drying his hands, he looked around and then lifted both his arms in a wavy way, blue sparks appearing at his hands, he pushed them down forcefully and the ground and appliances were suddenly covered with candles, he turned the light off and went outside backwards while waving his hand, making rose petals appear and fly down to the ground; until his back hit the door.

He turned the light in the main room off too and then hid himself behind the door, knowing Alec would come soon. He felt his heart pound against his chest and just hoped this wasn’t too cheesy for Alec.

A loud knock made Magnus press back against the wall. “It’s me.” Alec said before entering the room. “Hello? Iz? Magnus?” He said and turned the light on. Magnus held his breath and watched him walk into the room, a package of beer in his hands, he could see how Alec eyed the petals on the ground with a frown. Oh no, he didn’t like them.

“Magnus?” He asked again and then put the beer aside, before following the petals on the ground to the bathroom, he opened the door and Magnus could hear him gasp. He pushed himself off the wall and then sauntered towards him quietly until he stood in the doorway, observing Alec who looked around himself and every candle there was until his eyes met Magnus and he could see him twitch with surprise, before a fond smile appeared on his lips.

“You did this for me?” He asked and Magnus noticed how insecure he sounded, like he couldn’t believe it. Like nobody would ever do such a thing for him.

“No.” Magnus looked around. “This is for me; I don’t know why you just waltz in like this. Very rude Alexander.” Alec laughed loud and Magnus felt his heartbeat increase even more, a feeling of love and excitement bursting in his belly. Watching and hearing Alec laugh was just the best thing in the world. “I hope you like it.” Magnus added once Alec’s laugh subsided.

“You are amazing, Magnus.” Magnus gulped and then smiled proudly while fidgeting with his hands.

“Well, then I will let you enjoy it. I will wait outside.” He mused and Alec held up his hand.

“You are not staying?” Magnus turned back around, after already being halfway out. Staying? He wanted him to stay? “I mean, if you want to of course.” Alec quickly added as he saw his resistance. There was no way he would ever force him into something.

“There is no stool or something.” Magnus said a bit lamely and looked around and Alec chuckled again.

“No, I meant in the bathtub, with me.” Magnus looked up, feeling his face warm up instantly. Oh.

“There is no space for the both of us Alexander.” Alec gave him a challenging look and then began unbuttoning his shirt, never leaving Magnus with his eyes. He slid it off his shoulders and put it on the sink, before opening his belt and pants, he pushed himself out of his shoes with his feet and then pulled his pants and boxers down in one go, the socks followed too, he put everything in the sink and then looked back to Magnus who had his eyes fixed on Alec’s face.

“You can look if you want to you know, I don’t mind. It’s not like you haven’t seen it before.”

“I’d rather not.” Magnus returned and could already feel his dick twitch and he didn’t even look down on Alec; his imagination was filling in the gaps.

Alec couldn’t help but laugh again. He loved how shy Magnus was about this, he couldn’t deny it. It was just really sweet and so different to what he knew. And he had to think of all the times Magnus was shy around him in the past again, it was so obvious. He couldn’t deny he enjoyed this, he enjoyed getting him all flustered like he had done to him in the past.

Alec turned and then stepped inside the bathtub and lowered himself into the foam before inhaling deeply and then sighing all satisfied. “This feels so good” he murmured while leaning his head back and closing his eyes, his arms on the edges of the bathtub. “And the smell is amazing.” Magnus would feel proud and happy when he wasn’t so occupied with his own body right now.

Alec lifted his head again and looked back at Magnus, lowering and lifting his eyes on him. “You are coming?” Give me one more minute, then yes, Magnus thought.

“Yeah.” Magnus said and then opened his own buttons with shaky fingers, he pulled his shirt out of his pants and then took it off along with his necklaces; he felt Alec’s eyes bore into him, which didn’t make it better. He saw the tent in his pants and lifted his eyes to Alec, who rocked a smirk on his face.

“Happy to see me?” Alec whispered and Magnus groaned loudly, of course he saw. He hated how Alec always noticed, how he would even talk about it. But he also loved how Alec flirted with him so shamelessly, he didn’t change himself, he didn’t treat him differently and that meant a lot to Magnus.

“Will you just…” Magnus hissed and Alec pressed his lips together. He opened his pants and took them off, along with his boxers, shoes and socks, putting everything on top of Alec’s things. He didn’t need to look down to see he was rock hard, he knew. Why was he always getting hard ons while Alec was completely relaxed? It was frustrating. His body betrayed him.

“It’s okay Magnus, come in.” Alec said, stretching his arm out to Magnus to show him that he didn’t mind this at all and make him comfortable after seeing the blush on his cheeks. Magnus took his fingers tentatively and then stepped into the bathtub and between Alec’s legs, he sat down as good as possible and then leant back against Alec’s chest, feeling something hard press against his back. A gasp left his lips. “Surprise.” Alec whispered into his ear and now it was Magnus turn to laugh.

It seemed he wasn’t so relaxed after all. It somehow eased his mind a lot, that he wasn’t the only one so phased by the other one’s naked body. “Is this okay for you? We could change positions I think.” Alec offered just in case, when he thought about the fact that Magnus might not be comfortable with a dick to his backside.

“This is fine Alexander.” Magnus assured him. The water was hot, but not painfully so, and it smelled wonderful. The best was Alec’s warm body behind him though, his arms around his stomach. He lay his head on Alec’s left shoulder and closed his eyes while Alec stroked his stomach with his thumbs. He felt his body relax and melt into the embrace and warmth. He closed his eyes and saw the flames of the candles flicker in the dark against his eyelids, he heard Alec’s breathing right beside him. This was extremely comforting.

Alec kissed his ear and Magnus shivered in his arms. Alec knew his ears were sensitive. He kissed it again and again, slowly and lovingly, before going down to his neck and repeating it there. Magnus tilted his head aside to give him more room. He felt Alec’s hand wander down his abdomen and stop before his crotch. Magnus breath hitched and he opened his eyes, looking aside.

“Can I touch you?” Alec asked and Magnus had to breath a few times to be able to speak. He was already so worked up, his dick ached from the pressure of the blood in it.

“Yes, please.” Alec smiled at Magnus breathless answer. He was obviously aroused, a lot.

“Close your eyes.” Magnus did so right away and leant back, trying to calm his breath, which didn’t work all too well, he felt Alec’s hand slide down his groin and wrap around the base of his cock, one finger after the other, he gave him a few lazy strokes and Magnus already felt like exploding. Fuck.

He let go again and then let his fingertips brush over his balls before fondling them in his big hand, Magnus let out a long breath and then pressed his lips together again quickly. He felt Alec’s lips on his jaw, cheek and back to the side of his throat while his fingers went back up, wrapping around his dick again with more pressure this time, jerking him slowly.

“Oh god.” Magnus let out a shaky gasp and moved his hip in a circle, into his hand and against Alec’s groin. His erection still pressing against his back.

“Is this good?” Alec asked and Magnus nodded eagerly. He sped his pace up a bit and tilted his hand at the head. This felt so good, he had never done this in the water, it was hot and the slide was amazing. Alec stopped again and then went back to his balls and Magnus groaned internally, he was playing with him and he knew he was.

“Alexander…” Magnus scolded in a soft tone but Alec only chuckled.

“You are so hot.” Alec breathed against his neck and Magnus trembled again; that sensual deep voice was doing things to him. His other hand joined in and he began jerking him with his right while the left palmed his balls. Magnus felt his whole groin tingle and warm up and his muscles tightening. Alec increased his speed on him more and more, the pressure along with it, it was almost too much. He pressed his legs apart and against the bathtub to keep himself in some kind of control. His whole body tensed up and he breathed loud and jerky.

He grabbed the edges of the bathtub violently until his knuckles turned white. “Alexander…I-“ He moaned. “I’m close…” Alec squeezed his balls tightly and then stopped. Magnus almost cried when he felt the coming orgasm subside again. His hips jerked underwater, desperately trying to get some friction. “I hate you.” Magnus sat up, frustrated and not caring that he sounded sulky. Alec quickly grabbed him again and pulled him back so he lay on him again.

“No, you’re not going anywhere.” He quickly reached between Magnus legs, grabbed his balls again and massaged them softly and Magnus felt his body turn into pudding again. “Sorry. Won’t do it again.” Alec whispered in his ear after hearing Magnus whine, teasing was probably a bit too much for him to handle yet.

He wrapped his fingers back around his hard cock and pulled on it, feeling the way his foreskin moved over his muscle gently. He squeezed a little, enjoying the way Magnus squirmed in his arms and then began to jerk him again, quick and roughly while his pointer finger stroked down over Magnus perineum with some pressure.

“Fuck.” Magnus began to rock his hips, thrusting himself into Alec’s fist and whatever that was Alec was doing there sent shivers through his whole body, his orgasm was quickly coming back and built itself up. “Please, don’t stop.” Magnus whispered, craving that release and Alec bit into the side of his throat playfully.

“Alec…” Magnus whined, not able to say his full name at the moment. He loved Alec’s hand on him, it was so large and the skin rough and he used so much pressure that it almost hurt but it was so good; Alec concentrated his hand on the part below Magnus head and rubbed it forcefully.

“I’ve got you.” Magnus couldn’t hold it in anymore, his orgasm rushed over him so hard that he jerked forward, his muscles spasming, while his cum shot out of his cock and into the water; he let himself fall back against Alec while letting out a guttural moan, his whole body trembling.

Alec stopped and then wrapped his arms back around Magnus stomach to steady him. Listening to his breathing. He felt love and pride fill his whole being. It just felt different, knowing this was new to Magnus made it more special, more intimate.

Magnus felt his cock throb rhythmically while it softened and his body melted into Alec, utterly relaxed and boneless. Alec kissed his cheek again. “You okay?”

“Yes…I am. More than okay.” His voice was hoarse from all the moaning. Alec kept stroking and kissing him for a few minutes before Magnus straightened himself, an odd look in his eyes. “I just came in Izzy’s bathtub.” He stated, almost in shock.

“Don’t worry about that. We will wash it away. There will be nothing left, we’ll make sure of that. And it’s not like you could impregnate her anyways.” Alec chuckled and Magnus gasped.

“Oh wow…low blow Alexander.” Alec tensed instantly and looked at Magnus.

“Oh shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-“ he stuttered as he realised what he had said and Magnus began to laugh.

“I was just kidding.” Alec sighed relieved. “I will magic it away, to make sure.”

“That’s a good idea.” Alec nodded.

“Thank you, Alexander. That was…I don’t know what that was but it was amazing.” Alec beamed at him. “We should maybe get out of here; this is a bit disgusting.” Magnus hauled himself up and then stepped out of the bath and Alec followed him, they went to dry themselves in Izzy’s soft towels that had all shades of red, violet and pink. They dressed themselves and Magnus repeated the gesture with his arms, magicking it all away in the blink of an eye. The candles, rose petals and water was gone, the towels cleaned and dried.

“You’re getting better at this.” Alec said proudly and Magnus gave him a wide smile. That he was. They grabbed each others hands and shared a long and loving kiss while making their way out of there.  
\---

With a quick jump Magnus got off the bed the next morning and went to shower and get himself ready for the day. Magnus didn’t remember much of last night, he fell asleep pretty quick, as was his custom after such an intense orgasm, who could blame him. They had only cuddled before that. Alec was already gone the moment he awoke, but he left a little note on his nightstand that held the romantic words ‘thanks for last night’ smudged across it, which gave Magnus quite the hoe vibes, but he knew that Alec meant well with it. He wasn’t the best with words he noticed long ago, but who was Magnus to complain, he still had trouble forming coherent sentences around the man.

Naked, but dry he left the bathroom again and froze in the doorway as he saw Raphael sitting on his long armchair, leant back, legs folded above the other, a magazine in hands. Raphael rose his eyes from the pages, looking at Magnus like this was a completely normal situation for them.

Magnus turned halfway and then walked to the closet, dressing himself as quick as possible while the vampire eyed his magazine again. “Nice to see you.” Magnus gasped, not daring to look at Raphael who audibly put his magazine away. “Feel yourself at home, never mind me.” Magnus murmured.

“I heard about what happened with the seelies. I wasn’t surprised, to be honest. You can’t trust them; they are a bunch of manipulative cunts.” Magnus straightened himself, before giving Raphael a sideway glance, buttoning his shirt. “I wish I would have been there; I would have ripped them apart.” Magnus hadn’t expected that outburst of Raphael, the man usually was very collected, and also the choice of words was…interesting.

“You don’t like the seelies.” Magnus stated and then went to his table to put on some necklaces.

“That is an understatement. Who in their right mind could like them?” He hissed and got up to walk over to Magnus and grabbed him by the arm, eyeing his shoulder and turning it around in circles. Magnus just let him do it, far too used to this behaviour by now. Raphael always treated him like he was a child. But maybe that vampire was centuries old already, so Magnus decided to show some respect.

“It’s better, I healed it.” He tried to comfort him and then pulled his arm away carefully, before going back to his business.

“She won’t get through with this, Magnus, I won’t let her take you.” Magnus could see the fire in his eyes and blinked a few times.

“That is nice of you, but I can take care of myself, Raphael.” Raphael tilted his head.

“I saw that.”

“Hey. Now you are being mean.” Magnus huffed and turned around, walking past him. “Besides, I think she understood quite well, she won’t try to go after me again.”

“You should be really careful, the Seelie Queen is no one to joke around with, she is dangerous and powerful and I don’t think she will stop until she has what she wants. And that is you. We can protect you if you come with us.” Magnus turned in the doorway.

“I won’t leave Alexander.” Raphael rose his eyebrows to his hairline.

“So, you and the shadowhunter are a thing now.” His voice was guarded. “I didn’t think he’d manage to wrap you around his finger so quickly. Or his dick.” He walked closer while Magnus furrowed his brow, an offended expression on his face.

“He didn’t wrap me around anything, I like him and he likes me. That’s it. And I would prefer if you wouldn’t take his dick in your mouth.” Magnus lifted his arms above his chest, crossing them in a defensive way. “I mean. You know.” He gestured and Raphael quirked an eyebrow.

“There are a lot of things you don’t know about him, Magnus.” He almost whispered.

“I plan to change that, in time. Thank you, dad.” Raphael sighed and Magnus could see that he wanted to say more, but decided against it.

“I don’t want you to get hurt.” Magnus kept his frown and added a clenching of his jaw to his expression and then rolled his eyes with a huff before leaving, Raphael followed him.

“How did you get in here anyways? You always show up out of nowhere.” Magnus gave him a suspicious glance and Raphael only smirked lightly. “Well, keep your secrets then. And I will keep mine.”

“Isabelle granted me access to the Institute, I can come and go as I please.” Magnus snorted to the comment.

“Why would she ever do that?”

“She and I, we have a history.” Magnus stopped in his tracks and then eyed the vampire for a moment before continuing his walk through the corridors.

“She surely has a thing for downworlder. Or vampires. She hasn’t tried a thing on me.” Now it was Raphael’s time to snort. “Hey! Will you just stop being a dick for once? I look very decent and I am fit, I am not…that bad.” He mumbled, playing with his ear.

They turned around the corner, seeing Izzy coming out of the Infirmary. “Izzy! Wait a moment.” Magnus waved and nearly ran towards her, Raphael on track while Izzy lowered her clipboard, before her brown eyes went from Magnus to Raphael, a little confused. “Would you say I’m attractive?” Magnus asked and Izzy’s eyes widened before they darted aside to Raphael who shook his head.

“Eh…I-I-” She stuttered and narrowed her eyes at the two men. “What is this about?”

“Raphael mentioned that you two were a thing and I know you are with Simon, so I realized you might have a thing for downworlder.” Magnus rambled and Izzy’s cheeks began to burn in a light pink.

“Don’t forget Meliorn.” Raphael added and Magnus mouth shot open wide, he looked from Raphael to Izzy with judgement and shock in his eyes.

“Meliorn? Really?” Izzy rolled her eyes and then walked straight through the boys while Magnus mouthed a ‘wow’ Raphael’s way.

“That is quite some time ago okay. I didn’t know that he was such a jerk. And yes, I do have a thing for bad boys.” She tilted her head which made her hair fly from one side to the other, she gave the two of them a smirk. “It was nice talking to you guys, but I have things to do.” She patted Magnus on the shoulder and left after giving Raphael another of her glances.

“Would you not drag me into this next time?” Raphael growled.

“You started this! Not my fault.” Magnus shrugged. “She gave me no answer though. I guess that is a no then.”

“We both know that you are attractive, don’t be naïve.” Magnus rose his eyes to him with a fond smile.

“You think I’m attractive? Well, you are too.” Magnus returned as Jace passed them and halted right next to them, both looked at him and Jace eyed both men before rushing off, clearly not wanting to be part of this conversation. They looked at each other again like nothing had happened.

“Magnus, I fear that the Seelie Queen will come for you again and I want you to be prepared. Work on your magic, especially protection and defending spells as good as possible. I can’t always be here to protect you.” Magnus sighed and then embraced the other man.

“I will. Don’t worry about me.” Raphael returned the hug that they always seemed to share at the end of their conversations and it was a habit Magnus grew quite fond of by now. He didn’t know why but he really trusted Raphael, like there was some connection between them he couldn’t explain and as much as Raphael wanted Magnus safe, Magnus wanted no harm done to him either. It was odd, but oddly comforting too. They patted each other’s backs and the vampire then retreated, leaving him again.

Yes, Magnus had to work on his magic, he agreed with that. First in line was the portal. If only he still had the Book of the White. Maybe Alec would give it back to him now that they were closer, he could surely ask him for it. He made a mental note to do that later and then made his way to his late breakfast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We got some more Biscuit&Caramel time and what do you think about Magnus little 'gift' to Alec and the one he got in return? 😏 Raphael made an appearance again, being his usual grumpy self, but he means well, right? And Izzy, sorry 😂 Tell me your thoughts and leave some feedback! Thanks for all the comments and kudos, your appreciative words mean a lot to me, thanks again! 😘


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Okay, what I am about to tell you stays between us.” Alec leant his elbows on the desk while eyeing Jace intensely who lowered his arms and then straightened himself, feeling the concern coming through his bond. This was probably serious.
> 
> “Of course, Alec, tell me.” Alec felt his blue eyes bore into him and suddenly felt his throat run dry. He smacked his lips a few times, not really knowing how to phrase this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://ibb.co/GxmF86S)

A tray in hand Magnus lowered himself on his seat with a wide smirk. Clary looked up and returned his smirk. “Sooooo?” She asked while her eyebrows danced.

“I would say this was a success.” He answered proudly and then began eating his toasts.

“Did he enjoy it, yes? Tell me what did you do…” She asked curiously and Magnus frowned, before he felt the colour fled his cheeks. Alec. He had completely forgotten about Alec last night. He was so distracted by his magical fingers. Oh god, he was the biggest douche. He wanted Alec to relax and have a good time but instead he had pleased Magnus. Should he have offered? Should he have asked? This was just too new for him; he really needed some kind of guide for this.

“Yeah, he did.” Magnus answered, not wanting to tell her how much he sucked at this. Well, he wasn’t lying, he had enjoyed the bath. “Hey, I wanted to ask you something about Jace. About the bond. How much does Jace feel from Alec…like…you know.”

Clary smiled knowingly. “You want to know if he feels all your dirty games?” Magnus narrowed his eyes. Yes, why would she ask like that. She clearly enjoyed his embarrassment. “Not much, he feels when Alec is happier, he senses when he has a good time but he couldn’t tell what exactly causes Alec a good time. It could be a funny conversation, a game, a massage, sex or just a really good cheeseburger.”

Magnus nodded, feeling relieved at that. He wasn’t so fond of the thought that Jace would practically be involved in this. “Okay, thank you. That’s good.” He squinted. “Do you guys talk about us?”

Clary scratched the side of her nose with her pointy nail. “About Alec and you? No never.” She took a big bite out of her marmalade toast and hummed suspiciously loud. “This is so good!” Magnus pressed his lips together.

“You hate marmalade.” Clary nodded and then let it drop before brushing her tongue along her upper teeth.

“Yes, I do! This is so sweet. Why would you ever eat that stuff? Why not just eat sugar, plain.” Magnus chuckled.

“You are avoiding my question.” Clary snatched Magnus toast out of his hands.

“I am eating Magnus.” She said before taking another bite of his toast and scrunching her nose. “Oh god!” Magnus laughed into his beard as he watched her bite into his marmalade toast with gusto. Magnus shrugged.

“I love it sweet.” He explained and then grabbed his toast back before his thoughts went somewhere else. He thought about all the ways he could probably return the favour to Alec, what he could do with him and if Alec would like it. He didn’t like the thought that Alec maybe thought he was selfish or didn’t want to touch Alec, because it was nothing like that, he actually really wanted to, he just didn’t know how to go about this, but now that Alec knew about everything, he could maybe just voice his concerns. Alec would probably understand. Yes, he would.

\---

“It’s open.” Alec murmured before Jace entered the office and sat down on the chair in front of the desk like he owned the place, he placed one leg on the desk, which caused a pile of folders to fall down. Alec stared at him with anger and Jace shrugged.

“Sorry? What is it that you wanted to talk about?” Jace returned and placed his crossed arms behind his head, leaning into it. Alec got up to lift the folders from the floor and put them back on the desk before shoving Jace boots off the desk roughly. “Hey! I said I’m sorry. My legs hurt.” Alec sat back down and pulled himself closer to the desk.

“Okay, what I am about to tell you stays between us.” Alec leant his elbows on the desk while eyeing Jace intensely who lowered his arms and then straightened himself, feeling the concern coming through his bond. This was probably serious.

“Of course, Alec, tell me.” Alec felt his blue eyes bore into him and suddenly felt his throat run dry. He smacked his lips a few times, not really knowing how to phrase this.

“It’s about Magnus.” He whispered almost in slow motion and felt the warmth creep up his chest and into his cheeks. “He…we…I…” he stuttered and then inhaled, trying to collect himself. “He told me that I am his first…male…partner.” Alec pressed his lips into a thin line and waited for Jace's reaction.

“Okay.” Was the word that left his lips and Alec almost felt disappointed, he had thought Jace would yell and be shocked, mirroring what he felt. But no. “Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” Jace asked, not really knowing how he was supposed to react.

“A goodbad?” Alec answered, grimacing. “I don’t know,” he gasped and then hid his face in his palms murmuring against his hands. “This is so confusing Jace, he was my first boyfriend the first man I kissed and did…all this with and now I am his first, I-I don’t know, it’s…my head hurts.” Alec felt like hyperventilating and lowered his hands again to catch some air.

“I think this is great actually. You can show him everything like he did with you. You can be his first in everything, isn’t that amazing?” Jace smiled in a fond way he often only shared with his Parabatai and Alec groaned loudly at his words. They were sweet actually, really sweet, but Jace didn’t know all of it.

“We already did things Jace, you know that. And I didn’t know, I made him do things. His first memories will only be of some horny shadowhunter who couldn’t keep it in his pants.” Jace laughed.

“As far as I know Magnus, I am sure he didn’t mind it one bit. Or did he say he did? Did you force him to do anything he didn’t want?” Jace asked, while playing with one of the pens on the desk and Alec quickly shook his head, his eyes wide.

“No! I would never, I haven’t. I-…” he trailed off and then gasped as the memory of himself asking Magnus to fuck him, multiple times, pressuring him into this, appeared in his mind. It was the moment Alec had first really noticed something was off because Magnus seemed completely overwhelmed and couldn’t even remember what to do…oh right, he didn’t know what to do.

“Oh god.” Alec gasped and looked around himself desperately. He had forced him to do this, he had nearly forced him to have sex with him, his first time with a guy without him really knowing what to do or being ready for it. Alec felt sick.

“You okay buddy?” Jace asked, leaning forward and observing Alec who turned slightly green around the nose.

“I feel so stupid that I didn’t notice this earlier. I should have noticed.”

“You didn’t know Alec. Don’t put the blame on you, if someone is to blame then it’s him, why didn’t he tell you right away?” Jace put the pen down now.

“Remember the day I told you about the odd conversation I had with him when I assumed that he was some kind of freewheeling bisexual?”

“The day you called him a slut?” Alec frowned.

“Yeah…thanks. Yes, that I mean. Anyways, so he kind of felt ashamed to tell me afterwards. So, it is in fact my fault.” Jace leant back and crossed his arms with a sigh.

“Did you fuck him?” Alec blinked at him slowly, feeling the urge to kick his shin if he could reach it.

“Would you maybe not say it like that. We don’t ‘fuck’. We make love.” Jace snorted loudly and doubled over, laughing like crazy and Alec pressed his lips into a line.

“Yeah.” He wheezed and wiped his watery eyes. “Whatever you say man. It’s not like I never heard you guys bang like rabbits but all right. So, did you MAKE LOVE to him yet?” Jace shoulders still shook and Alec really wanted to kick that shin now. Damn desk. Of course, Alec and Magnus fucked in the past, it was rough, it was hot, but hearing Jace say it didn’t feel right.

“No, we didn’t. We tried but-” Jace quirked an eyebrow at that, a shallow smirk on his face that he was trying to hide. “It escalated.” Alec felt his cheeks turn pink and Jace lifted his finger to his lips, stroking them while his whole face lit up, Alec could see that he was about to burst any second and felt grateful for the lousy try. “Come on.” He scolded.

Jace lowered his head while the laugh bubbled out between his lips, causing a snorting noise. “I’m sorry. I’m really trying here. Okay, so if I got this right. You tried to have sex, but then what, he…came in his pants?” Alec blinked several times, in shock, regretting his life choices. “Couldn’t find the hole?” Jace duck while a folder flew past him.

“Why do I even talk to you?” Alec groaned and got up to walk to the door, before opening it and pointing outside. “Get out.” Jace got up, his shoulders shaking.

“Maybe you can draw an arrow next time so he finds the way.” Alec shove him out of his office unkindly before closing the door, hearing Jace still laugh outside. He rolled his eyes and then returned to his desk. Sitting back down he thought about what Jace had said.

Maybe Jace was right, of course he was right. Alec could experience all these new first times with Magnus, could show him how good it is and even how it’s done. He was the first to give him a kiss, a blow job and he still tried not to feel so proud about this. He would…maybe even be his first when it came to sex. Alec instantly felt the pressure of what this meant. He couldn’t fuck this up. He had to ease Magnus into this first. Yes, he could do that. Just like Magnus had done with him.

\---

“Hey.” Magnus lifted his head from the bed, his legs crossed beneath himself and a book in his lap as he heard Alec’s voice come from the doorway, he was so into thoughts he hadn’t even noticed him opening the door. He put it aside and beamed up at him.

“Hi.” It was afternoon by now and Magnus hadn’t expected to see him so soon, he had been working really late the past days, but it was a pleasant surprise. Magnus had spent the past hours reading, about this and that, he was always eager to learn, though he just wished he could actually learn spells, it was good that Alec was here so he could ask him about the Book of the White and if it wouldn’t sound ridiculous he would even admit that he had missed him already.

Magnus noticed that Alec had a little blue paper bag in his hands as he entered though he seemed like he wanted to hide it. Alec stepped out of his shoes and then made his way to the bed, he put the bag into the nightstand drawer and closed it again, before turning to Magnus, he leant forward to give Magnus a kiss, Magnus stretched his neck to reach him and met his lips halfway. He hummed against his lips and instantly felt the butterflies come back to life that had been sleeping the past hours. He had to force them down with all his strength, he couldn’t be thinking of Alec all day…well he did.

“You look great.” Alec murmured against his lips and then sat down on the bed next to Magnus who looked down on himself. He wore a simple black and tight long sleeved shirt, a necklace over it. Nothing special actually.

“Well, thank you.” He said shyly and felt a rush going through his body the moment Alec’s thigh bumped against his knee. Urgh. Concentrate Magnus.

“What are you reading?” Alec craned his neck to read the title of the book.

“Oh, nothing of interest, at least not for you, I guess. It’s about potions, I found it in the library. But…unfortunately it’s not of much help for me.” He thought about addressing the Book of the White and ask him about it, but he really didn’t want to bring up an uncomfortable topic right now. He still eyed the drawer curiously, wondering what was inside that little blue bag.

“Alexander, there is something I wanted to talk to you about.” Magnus began and straightened himself, Alec tensed instantly.

“Me too.” Magnus eyed him suspiciously and all to curious.

“Do you want to go first?” Alec shook his head. “Okay, well then. About ehm, it’s about our bath.” Alec lowered his head and looked around himself, trying to follow Magnus, but didn’t quite get it. “When you pleased me.” Magnus whispered not really knowing how to say this and Alec’s eyebrows rose up to his hairline, a little smile on his lips. Oh.

“I noticed, admittedly late, that I never returned it and left you hanging and I am so sorry for that.” Alec huffed and then smiled fondly.

“You don’t have to be sorry for that, I don’t do it to get something in return. I told you not to worry about that, you only do what you like to do, okay?”

“But I do want to, it’s just I have been so distracted by everything, please be patient with me I will get used to this.” Alec quickly grabbed Magnus cheek and stroked his skin softly.

“I understand Magnus. We can do this at your pace.” He quickly reassured him and then pulled his hand back, looking down for a second. “And I want you to tell me, if I do something that makes you feel uncomfortable or am too…forward.” Alec stutters out and looks deep into Magnus brown eyes to assure him he means it, even though he is a stuttering mess. “Which also brings me to my topic, earlier I realised that…well, I remembered the moment I nearly forced you to sleep with me.” Magnus watched him carefully and saw the embarrassment on Alec’s face.

“Alexander, we talked about this, you didn’t know. And I did nothing I didn’t want to do.” Their voices were low and soft. “And again, if anyone has to be sorry it’s me, I hurt you with my stupidity.” Alec gasped as he remembered the moment.

“No, you didn’t, you were barely in.” Alec shook his head and Magnus sucked in some air as he remembered the moment all too good. Alec looked so good spread out like that, naked, it was actually a good memory. Even if nothing really happened, it was hot as fuck.

“Magnus, I-“ he shifted on the bed. “I talked to Jace about this.” His voice was unsure and Magnus tilted his head aside, observingly. “I hope it’s okay.”

“I talked to Clary.” Magnus confessed and Alec didn’t know whether to feel good or mortified. “I think they are talking about us.” He added and Alec relaxed and tensed at the same time, oddly enough.

“I think so, too. Yeah.” They both shared a shy look. “I don’t actually have much time; I am on patrol tonight and I have to get ready.” Alec lowered his eyes and lay his hand on top of Magnus, stroking him with his thumb softly. Alec noticed Magnus stray looks over to the nightstand. “Don’t look in there okay? It’s…a surprise.” Alec stuttered and Magnus gasped, feeling deflated. Okay fine. He nodded and Alec then leant forward again and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. Magnus enjoyed those little gestures of affection and he couldn’t deny the flip his stomach did whenever he kissed him.

“Take care, okay?” Magnus said while Alec put on his shoes again. He looked back with a lopsided smile. Oh how dare you be so beautiful.

“Of course. See you later.” He got up and then left, closing the door behind himself. Magnus eyes darted to the nightstand the same second. He inhaled deeply and felt his fingertips vibrate with excitement. What was in there? Why was he hiding it? He almost looked startled when he saw Magnus in here, was he trying to secretly hide it? What surprise? He hated surprises. Urgh.

Magnus leant aside and onto his belly, pulling the drawer open with the tip of his pointer finger until he could peek inside. He could see the edge of the blue bag and looked back up at the door. He pulled some more while his eyes were stuck on the closed door and then reached inside, grabbing the bag and sitting back down on the bed with a bright smile. “Ha!” He shifted until he sat crossed legged again and then poured the content of the bag into his lap.

A black box fell out of it; Magnus threw the bag aside not really caring about it and quickly grabbed the box, turning it around. ‘Durex’. The black box was covered with round colourful circles and Magnus pouted almost disappointed. He didn’t know what he expected but this wasn’t it. What was this?

He opened it curiously and pulled a string of silver plastic out of it, he could see that something was inside. Colours and different fruits were written on each little square and Magnus gasped. Oh! Magnus beamed and ripped it open immediately, taking out a red squishy thing that felt slimy. Well, at least it smelled wonderful, strawberries? Alec was an angel for always buying candy. He quickly stuffed his mouth and munched on it before his face turned into a grimace and he almost gagged; he spat it out instantly and groaned; still tasting that bitter, chemical and slimy texture in his mouth.

“What the?” He snapped his fingers and quickly gulped the water he summoned down before smacking his lips a few times. His face was still not back to normal, twitching with disgust as he eyed the rest of the silver things. What kind of surprise was that? Why would anyone eat that? He put the glass aside and then shove the offending stuff back into the box; he snapped his fingers to fix it again and pushed it into the blue bag again he had picked up quickly, he returned it to its former place and closed the drawer forcefully. No, thank you Alec, you can eat those alone.

Suddenly his phone rang and Magnus quickly rolled aside to grab it, putting it between his ear and cheek. “Hello?”

“Magnus? It’s Catarina.” Magnus felt his breath hitch and sat up straight. Catarina! He hadn’t heard from her in what felt like ages, they hadn’t been able to contact her the past weeks.

“Catarina! I am so happy to hear from you, where have you been? What have you been doing? How dare you to disappear like that!” Magnus voice turned from excitement to anger in a matter of seconds and he almost shouted the last part.

“I am so sorry, Magnus. I was at the Spiral Labyrinth and there was no way to contact you, it was complete chaos. Word spread about what had happened to you and they inquired me about it, they thought I was involved in this somehow since only a warlock has so much power to do such a thing. I managed to get out to call you, I can’t do portals at the moment, they bound my magic. I heard that the seelies asked for you, I think that the Seelie Queen has some interests in you and might try to get to you.”

“Wait, stop.” Magnus pressed and stopped her ramble and then collected himself. “They kept you prisoner there? Because of me? Are you out now or…where are you?” Magnus felt his heart hammer against his chest.

“I have to return; I need my magic to help you. I hope I can make them understand somehow.” Catarina sighed through the phone.

“I know about the seelies, I was kidnapped a few days ago and brought to the seelie realm. But I am back and I am fine, Alec and…the others saved me before anything happened.” Catarina inhaled on the other end.

“Oh no! I should have never left you; I am so sorry. You are alright, yes? Oh Magnus, this is such a mess.” Magnus shook his head even though Catarina couldn’t see it.

“How can I help you? Tell me what to do.” Magnus pleaded, almost desperately. He had to help his friend somehow.

“You can’t Magnus, not at the moment. I will be fine just make sure that you will be too. Stay inside the Institute and try not to be alone.” Magnus nodded.

“I have grown really powerful Catarina! Clary gave me the Book of the White! Can you imagine?” He said proudly. Not wanting to mention the fact he had lost it again.

“That is good Magnus, keep learning, maybe it will help you in some way. I am sorry I can’t be there for you.”

“You have no fault in this dear, please don’t blame yourself. You were only trying to help me, so if anyone is to be blamed it’s me. I will find a way to get you out of there, I promise.”

“Magnus, I would feel better if you stayed away, stayed safe.”

“I love you Catarina.” Magnus whispered and pressed the phone close to his ear, listening to her so familiar breathing. He didn’t want to lie to her but he couldn’t promise her he would stay out of this. This was his friend and one of his dearest after all, he would do everything he could to help her.

“I love you too, I will call you again Magnus.” She ended the call and Magnus put the phone down, eyeing the object for some time. It was so good to hear her voice again but he didn’t know how to feel about this. She was in trouble because of him and there was no way to help her, yet. Those damn portals again! He needed the Book of the White back and he needed to learn how to do them, sooner than later.

\---

“Have you tried this?” Clary asked waving her hands in a dramatic way and Magnus tilted his head aside, regretting he had asked her about portals in the first place. He slapped his hand against his forehead and groaned while leaning on his elbow.

“I’m never going to learn it.” Clary sighed and lowered her arms again before picking up another berry from her plate; crossing her legs below the table. Jace followed their discussion from his place, silently eating.

“I can’t really help you with it, since I use runes to do them. I don’t know anything about magic, that is your thing.” She said, her voice filled with pity. Magnus only shrugged and felt useless.

He had spent the whole morning reading through all kind of books and then ended up asking Clary at breakfast but of course she was of no use in that matter, he knew that, he would need to talk to another warlock, but he knew none he could actually reach here.

Alec hadn’t returned to him last night; the patrol probably took longer than expected and he usually spends the night with Jace then to not wake Magnus. And he was not jealous about this, not at all. He was totally fine with Alec sleeping with another man at night. Like, so okay. Well, maybe a little. Or a little bit more. Or maybe he was furious. He knew he had nothing to fear from Jace, he was his brother and Parabatai, but he wanted him in his bed. Not someone elses. With him. But he couldn’t tell Alec where to sleep, this was his Institute.

“Do you know of any warlock I could contact? Could you look into your database?” Jace shook his head while chewing. Of course he knew a lot of warlocks and maybe some of them could actually help Magnus, but he would be stupid to let Magnus talk to other warlocks, first of all, they could do whatever with him, portal him away and off he was and secondly Magnus shouldn’t be able to learn how to do portals for the very same reason. He knew he was a jerk for thinking that way and denying he knew anyone, but he did it for Magnus and his Parabatai.

Clary put her finger to her mouth and thought about it, yes, she did know of one, but if he would help Magnus was another thing, he wasn’t very cooperative in the past.

“I do, his name is Lorenzo Rey. He is a very powerful warlock and he lives in New York too. I could see if I can find his address for you?” Jace stared at Clary, his cheeks full. He gulped it down and then opened his mouth, not believing what Clary just said; he looked from her to Magnus and then back to her. She returned his look with confusion on her face and then shrugged.

“Don’t worry about it, I was going to speak to Alexander anyway, I will ask him.” He got up and took the tray with him. “See you later biscuit. Jace.” She waved her hand and gave him a wide smile. He put the tray aside and then made his way to Alec’s office, it’s been a while since he had seen him and maybe he wouldn’t admit it but being away from Alec for so long somehow made him nervous, his mind began to wonder what Alec was doing right now and he couldn’t stop it. Not that he wasn’t already thinking about the Shadowhunter 24/7.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter, Alec had some bonding time and Magnus heard from his dear friend again 😁 Magnus needs to work on his magic, sooner than later. Maybe he gets some warlock help? 🤔 Thanks for all the kudos and love on the last chapter! You guys are the best! 😘


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Do you want to see me?” Alec asked in a whisper and watched how Magnus eyes widened a bit before his expression went back to normal. He had thought about this a lot, how to ease Magnus into this as gentle as possible. He didn’t want another awkward moment for Magnus, didn’t want him to be lost and confused. He clearly saw the interest in Magnus eyes, the interest to have him naked, so he offered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://ibb.co/3BKbGJ6)

Magnus headed for Alec’s office when he stopped in his tracks, seeing Alec standing in the doorway of the security room, leaning against it with his arms crossed, he was talking to someone inside. He watched him from afar for a moment, appreciating his long and lean body, his broad shoulders and narrow waist, his hips tilted. His round, firm ass that looked splendid in those tight jeans. Magnus bit his lower lip until he winced, realising he had bitten it a bit too hard. When exactly did the sight of Alec made him turn into pudding?

He walked closer, fingering his bleeding lip and licked it off quickly. He didn’t want to bother Alec or interrupt him, but he really needed to talk to him. Yes, he NEEDED to. He poked him in the side and watched Alec swing his head around startled, before a face splitting grin appeared on his face that melted Magnus on the spot.

Alec looked back to whoever he was talking to. “I will look into it later.” He bounced his hips off the doorframe and turned around, walking a few steps closer to Magnus, his eyes shimmering like he was really happy to see him and Magnus smiled up at him dorkily, at a loss of words.

“How was the patrol yesterday?” Magnus hadn’t seen him since yesterday evening and quickly checked his whole body for injuries.

“Good, we killed a whole bunch of ravener demons in the city.” He paused. “I am not hurt Magnus.” He said softly and Magnus rose his eyes to his face and he realised he was way too close, the urge to move forward and kiss him was almost unbearable. His pale skin looked so soft, his lips a shade of deep pink and plump. Magnus quickly blinked his eyes and looked forward, needing some distraction as they walked through the hall side by side.

“Good. Good. Yes.” He clutched his sweaty hands together.

“Are you okay? You seem nervous.” Alec’s sultry voice rolled down his body like butter.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” He quickly gathered his stray thoughts. “Ehm, I wanted to ask you something, do you know a warlock named Lorenzo Rey? I would like to contact him.” Alec stopped and turned his whole body to Magnus; his expression changed into something else, it was now hard, the soft features gone.

“Lorenzo? Why do you need to contact him?”

“Catarina has called me yesterday. She has some…problems.” Magnus explained. “I need a warlock to help me.” Alec shook his head.

“No. Not Lorenzo, he is…no. We will find another way, okay? What did Catarina say? What kind of problem?” Alec sounded anxious and was obviously stressed for whatever reason.

“But Clary said that Lorenzo is very powerful. Why won’t you let me contact him?” He felt a little disappointed, if not offended that Alec had denied this without thinking twice. Sure, he was the Head of the Institute and he probably had his reasons, but he was also close to Magnus and should at least offer help, not?

“He is an asshole, okay. We have had quite some issues in the past with him, he wouldn’t help you and I don’t feel good about this.” Alec said truthfully, though he couldn’t tell him the whole reason. He also noticed that Magnus hadn’t answered his question about Catarina.

“Hm. Okay.” Magnus lowered his shoulders, now he was back to the start. He trusted Alec and if Alec said he wouldn’t help he should believe him and maybe try to find a different solution.

“Tell me about Catarina, maybe I can help her?” Magnus looked up and then shook his head with a sigh.

“No, you can’t. It’s a…warlock problem.” He explained and there really was no way for Alec to help, only Warlocks were allowed there and they wouldn’t listen to a Shadowhunter. Alec tensed his jaw, not liking this one bit.

Alec looked aside then, his face becoming even darker and Magnus followed his line of sight to two guys in Shadowhunter gear, they looked young, they looked familiar. Oh…right. Those were the guys that had been bullying him some time ago in the cafeteria.

“I had to agree to give them a second chance.” Alec mumbled and Magnus could hear the disgust in his tone. He placed his eyes back on Magnus. “If they ever threaten you again or just as much as look at you weirdly, tell me right away you hear me.” Magnus rose his eyebrows with a soft smile towards his Shadowhunter. The man was way too protective, Magnus was quite sure he was stronger than Alec himself if he had to be. But it was cute, somehow.

“Of course. I will.” Alec gave him a firm nod. “I am all for second chances. Maybe they have learnt their lesson.” Alec looked at Magnus lips and leant forward a bit as if he was going to kiss him and Magnus lifted his head a bit out of instinct but Alec pulled back again and Magnus felt his heart throb for a moment.

“I will see you later?” Magnus nodded, not really knowing if his voice was able to perform if he wanted to answer him. Alec was right in pulling back, they shouldn’t be kissing in the middle of the Institute, in front of everyone.

“You will see me.” Magnus returned and then turned around reluctantly to leave. He felt fingers snake around his own and turned his head back around seeing Alec hold his hand for a moment before he let go and then left. Magnus stood there watching Alec leave.

Alec rushed through the corridor with long strides, his body tense and his hands rolled into fists, he darted through the row of tables. “Shit.” Jace muttered while Clary gulped down her last bite and then looked aside just as Alec had reached their table and leant down on his arms to get closer to her.

“You told him about Lorenzo?” Alec asked not even trying to hide his anger. He was trying so hard to understand that girl, to understand her reasons, to only see the good, but how could he when she always managed to do all the wrong things, always putting Magnus in danger, it was like she wasn’t thinking at all.

In what world would it be a good suggestion to go to Lorenzo? That man hated Magnus and wanted nothing but his destruction. If he knew about him and what happened, he would take his position, he would take advantage of it. He had tried to keep his emotions at bay with Magnus, but really, he was furious.

“See? I swear Alec I just told her this was no good idea.” Jace exclaimed, taking Alec’s side. He would always stand behind his girlfriend but it was very difficult when she did such mindless things. Alec shot him a look as if to say that he should keep out of this, he was just as much at fault as she was and he quickly lowered his face again.

Clary blinked her eyes and opened and closed her mouth a few times like a fish. “I-I am sorry, I didn’t know I wasn’t supposed to, he said he needs help with magic and if I knew a warlock that could help him learn how to do portals. Lorenzo was the only one coming to my mind.” Alec’s anger turned into confusion. Portals? Help with his magic? Why hadn’t Magnus told him those things? When he apparently told Clary and Jace all about it. Didn’t he trust him enough? Alec furrowed his brow and tried to calm his mix of emotions.

And portals? Alec didn’t like the thought of Magnus doing portals, he could just vanish, he would have no chance to protect the warlock and maybe he did something wrong, or ended up somewhere else than expected and was too weak to do another one. All the horrible possibilities crossed his mind. He pressed his lips together as he noticed other Shadowhunters looking their way, trying to catch a word of their obviously heated conversation.

“I will deal with this.” Alec straightened himself again, he couldn’t be loud in the cafeteria and he really was in no mood to give Clary another talk anyways, that girl would never learn. Clary nibbled on her lower lip, regretting that she had yet again fucked up without realising and watched Alec retreat again. Jace gave her an apologetical look and then followed Alec quickly.

“She didn’t mean to fuck this up, Alec. You know how she is. She only wants the best for Magnus, for everyone, she doesn’t realise that she makes things worse sometimes.” Jace defended his girlfriend but Alec wasn’t in the mood at all. He held his hand up to shut him.

“She is an adult, she can think.” Alec snapped and then turned around facing his Parabatai. “She is putting him in danger over and over again and I have to get him out of the mess. I just don’t get it.” Jace shrugged his shoulders. That was true but what shall he do. Alec stretched out his palm between them and then rolled his fingers into a tight trembling fist; he groaned while letting his hand drop and then turned back around. This was no use, it’s like he was talking to moving walls.

Jace followed him to the ops center and the main computer where Alec logged in with his hand and code before putting a protection lock on Lorenzo’s file that only he could open. Just in case. He gave Jace a look who only nodded at him. They both understood each other.

“I will try and talk to her again. I am sorry Alec. She is not a bad person.” Alec sighed and then turned to Jace; his arms crossed over his chest.

“I know that…and I don’t mean to be angry with her or be rude, I just…I snap and…” He explained and gestured his hand around.

“I get it. I would probably behave the same if someone constantly gave Clary bad advises and put her in danger.” Alec nodded. He really didn’t like the way he treated Clary all the time, she was under his wings after all, one of his Shadowhunters and a good friend, also the girlfriend of his brother and besides that a very good friend of Magnus. But she was making this so hard. He should have a talk with her in a calm environment. Get this out of the way and explain himself and maybe apologize.

Jace patted his shoulder and then headed back to his girlfriend while Alec thought about what Magnus and Clary had told him. He might not like the thought of Magnus learning how to do portals, but he understood where he was coming from and doing them was his given right as a Warlock. He had to help him somehow. With the decision being made, he made his way back to his office.

\---

Magnus put his toothbrush aside and rinsed his mouth before he left the steamy bathroom after taking his daily shower, ready to go to sleep now, unfortunately Alec had too much to do the day and they weren’t able to meet again, which shouldn’t make Magnus as unhappy as it did. He knew Alec was a busy man. He rubbed his neck and closed his eyes as he entered the bedroom and then froze the moment that he opened them, seeing Alec sitting on the end of the bed, a book in his hands.

“Oh, Alexander. I didn’t expect you…I was just…” He stuttered and then eyed the book, realising quickly what it was, he felt his heart begin to pound against his chest. Alec looked down at the book and then up at him, his head lowered slightly, besides being a giant he looked small right now.

“I should have given this back to you ages ago. I am sorry. This is yours and I know you need it.” Alec stretched out his arm to hand him the book. Magnus watched the object as if it was going to bite him and then lowered his hand from his neck, tentatively reaching for the book.

“I don’t know what to say…thank you.” He whispered and looked completely startled. But he felt grateful, he felt more than that, he felt something deep inside him as he looked back up to Alec. The man managed to surprise him every time, how did he know that Magnus wanted this book, it was like he was reading his mind and not for the first time. And also, Magnus knew this took a lot of trust from Alec, he knew Alec thought it was dangerous for Magnus to have it and gave to him anyways. He wanted to help him.

“You don’t have to thank me. I shouldn’t have kept it at all.” Alec looked up with regret in his eyes.

Magnus breathed slowly, deeply, trying not to concentrate on the feeling that was growing deep inside his chest and stomach, it was overwhelming and strong and reached every cell of his body. Magnus wasn’t stupid, he knew that it was love that he felt. But that realisation made him speechless.

He stretched his arm aside and put the book on the table beside him without looking and then walked forward until he stood right in front of Alec and between his spread legs, Alec stretched his neck to look up while Magnus looked down to him, he lifted his hands to Alec’s cheeks and watched how Alec closed his eyes and melted into the touch. He was warm. He let his fingers slide into his soft hair and down the back of his neck and Alec leant his head forward and against Magnus stomach to give him more space. Magnus crawled his neck lovingly and watched goosebumps spread over Alec’s skin.

Alec lifted his head again and opened his eyes and Magnus could almost see his emotions mirrored in his eyes. They stared at each other for a moment before Magnus moved his fingers over the sides of his neck and to his front. He tugged on the fabric while his eyes never left Alec’s.

“Can you take it off?” Magnus could see Alec’s breath hitch. He reached behind himself and then pulled his pullover off in one go, he let it drop aside and Magnus lowered his eyes to Alec’s hairy chest, immediately seeing that his nipples were rock hard and that his chest was heaving roughly.

That man was art, that body was unbelievable and Magnus was shamelessly ogling it, but Alec didn’t seem to mind it at all. Magnus put his hands on Alec’s elbows and stroked them up the curves and slopes of his muscled arms to his broad shoulders and down his chest, he could feel Alec’s rapid heartbeat below his skin.

Magnus bent his body and lowered his head to Alec to press his lips against his, Alec tilted his head aside immediately and opened his lips for Magnus. They were extremely hot, like everything right now, the excitement he felt on Alec’s body through his heat only increased his own, he felt better knowing that he wasn’t the only one affected by this.

Magnus felt Alec’s calloused hands on his waist and slide to his back, pressing him forward a little and Magnus felt enveloped by Alec from all sides, warm and comfortable. He played with Alec’s lips and licked his way inside his mouth, humming with appreciation. He tasted so damn good. His nose was pressed into Alec’s cheek and he was inhaling his masculine scent, filing his lungs with it. Magnus felt his dick hardening in his pants which sent a familiar tingle through his body.

He tilted his head to the other side and deepened the kiss even more, pressing his face into Alec’s, their tongues playing with each other’s in a passionate dance. Magnus pulled back and watched Alec chase after him, before they looked at each other with lust filled eyes, their mouths open, panting hard.

Magnus placed his hands on Alec’s hard pecs and pushed him back onto the bed slowly, carefully and Alec stretched his arms backwards and crawled on the bed, getting the hint immediately, Magnus lowered himself and followed Alec while they never left each other’s eyes.

Magnus crawled on top of him, one of his legs between Alec’s, the other on the other side, he lowered himself until they were flush, hip to hip and chest to chest. Alec stretched his neck to kiss Magnus again who gasped in surprise and closed his eyes quickly before giving in to the kiss, giving in to Alec and melting into the kiss. They moved their bodies against the other’s slowly and gently and Magnus could feel his erection brush Alec’s with every other movement, he angled his hip up and down to get some friction and heard Alec’s soft moan against his lips.

Their hearts hammered in their chests wildly and Magnus felt excitement and arousal in his belly, fighting a war against the anxiety that was building up, the slight fear of the unknown. Magnus pulled back again with a smack of their lips and looked at Alec’s mouth for a second, it was bright red, his lips swollen. Alec leant on his elbows and watched him intently, he could see Magnus eyes flicker down to his pants and back up. He could see Magnus nibble on his cheeks inside his mouth.

“Do you want to see me?” Alec asked in a whisper and watched how Magnus eyes widened a bit before his expression went back to normal. He had thought about this a lot, how to ease Magnus into this as gentle as possible. He didn’t want another awkward moment for Magnus, didn’t want him to be lost and confused. He clearly saw the interest in Magnus eyes, the interest to have him naked, so he offered.

Magnus nodded and Alec reached down to his own pants, he unbuttoned his pants and pulled down the zipper; then pushed his fingers into his waistbands and shove it all down to his thighs in one go, his erect cock flopped out and slapped against Alec’s stomach. Magnus eyes were stuck on it immediately. It was very straight, long and thick, the glans was slightly blueish and shimmered like it was polished, the skin below was bright red, the rest covered in thick veins, dark curly hair surrounded the area. He had a beautiful cock and Magnus never thought he would ever hear himself think those words.

Magnus gulped heavily and for once didn’t mind he was staring. Alec had offered. He took the offer. He stared. He looked at his balls that hung a little low and looked massive just as the rest of him. Magnus peeled his eyes off his dick to look up at his hazel eyes, he saw a little pink blush on his cheeks. Alec leant forward and sat up while Magnus backed off a little and sat beside him; Alec pulled off his pants, boxers and socks and let it fall to the ground before he lay back. Their eyes never left the others. Alec’s skin was as pale as alabaster and the black runes were a striking contrast to his skin.

Alec lay back on the pillow. “You can touch me if you like.” Alec’s voice was raspy and clearly affected. Alec saw the curious hunger in Magnus eyes and just assumed that he wanted to and even if not, Alec wanted him to have the possibility to explore him, Alec knew every little spot, curve, slope and muscle of Magnus body, it was only fair that he knew him too. And being Magnus first man, he probably was interested in this.

“Isn’t this weird?” Magnus asked, not that he didn’t appreciate that amazing view, but he was still dressed and Alec lay bare to the bones and even if he wanted to touch him badly, he didn’t want Alec to feel like some object in a museum. Alec shook his head.

“Not for me, but if you don’t want to that’s fine.” Magnus lay his hand on Alec’s abs in a rushed motion and Alec stopped speaking. He gave Alec a little mischievous smirk.

“I never said I don’t want to.” He whispered and let his hand glide up his abs over his hairy pecs to his throat and then back down with pressure. He was so hot. His hand slid over his hip bone and he let a fingertip brush over the sensitive skin above Alec’s crotch and watched his muscles twitch. Magnus fought down the smile. He tilted his head aside and then brushed his exploring finger down Alec’s strong muscled thigh to his knee and to the inside of it and back up, seeing Alec’s muscles ripple below his fingers.

He fingered his way to Alec’s groin while sucking his lower lip inside his mouth to nibble on it as he stroked a teasing finger up the side of Alec’s dick that twitched up instantly. He slid his fingers up his length to the tip and down the slit and over the vein to his balls. Alec gasped softly, he brushed his fingertip over his balls in an 8 motion and then went lower over his perineum and Alec spread his thighs to give Magnus better access and watched how Magnus parted his lips for a moment.

Magnus felt like his heart was going to burst out of his chest. He turned his hand around and let his middle finger slide down his skin until he felt Alec’s rim; Magnus eyes shot up instantly to see if this was okay with Alec; Alec had his lips parted and breathed deeply, obviously affected by this. He blinked slowly, giving Magnus a sign that it was okay.

Magnus stroked the puckered skin carefully and circled his hole then put his finger against the hot entry in the middle, he pushed it in experimentally and heard Alec gasp, he stopped instantly. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay. I just didn’t know you were going to push it in.” Magnus felt sweat form on his neck and chest. Oh! He thought this was okay, had he misunderstood this?

“I thought- I’m sorry. I should have asked first.”

“No, you can do that, I don’t mind it at all, believe me. Quite the opposite, it’s just not that pleasurable without any lube, maybe we can use spit.” Magnus eyes shot aside to his drawer and he leant over to reach it, opened it and pulled out the lube. Alec leant up on his elbows again, his face turning into that of confusion. “You have lube? I-I didn’t know. Did you have that all along?”

“I’ve just gotten it recently, someone…gave it to me, after I asked. Long story, please don’t ask.” Alec furrowed his brow, an amused smile on his lips. “I never heard of this before, so ehm, yes.” He stuttered. “I wanted to be prepared the next time we did anything.” Magnus cheeks blushed, of course. Alec’s eyes softened; he had prepared himself for it? But wait, he didn’t know what lube was? That explained the confusion at their first try, Alec cursed internally. Magnus hadn’t known. Didn’t know they had to use lube. Right.

“Pour some on your fingers, then it’s easier.” Magnus did as he was told. “More.” Magnus narrowed his eyes and then squeezed the bottle hard. He put it aside once his fingers were covered in slick. “Go with one first, then the second, slowly.” Magnus shivered at the commands Alec threw his way, not in a negative way. Alec bent his legs and pushed his feet into the mattress to give Magnus a better view and Magnus now saw his pinkish hole against his pale skin.

Fuck.

This was so extremely intimate. He knew he wasn’t the first man Alec had done this with and he must have already done it quite often but it still felt like something special, it must take a lot of trust to present yourself like that and offer your body up for exploration, it was a vulnerable position that Alec put himself in, physically and mentally. Magnus could do what he liked with him, could see it all, touch it all. It made that loving feeling inside him increase, with the desire to not disappoint him in anyway, to not lose that trust he offered.

Magnus knelt his way closer and between Alec’s thighs and then put his fingers against his sensitive skin, he brushed his fingers up and down a few times and then put the tip of his middle finger against his rim and pushed it in, it was hot and tight, very tight, he felt how his finger was almost sucked in and soon hit his ass cheeks with his knuckles. He felt the velvety flesh surrounding his finger comfortably and wiggled it experimentally. His cock twitched hard against his pyjama pants, leaking at the tip.

He pulled it back out carefully and pushed it back in, it was easy, it was so soft. He quickly added his pointer finger and watched them being swallowed by Alec’s body until he was deep inside him. His eyes fluttered shut for a moment and he inhaled deeply. Oh fuck. This was hot.

He opened them again and began to move his fingers inside him, quicker with each stroke until he was fucking him with his fingers shamelessly, completely forgetting this was about exploring and listened to Alec moan above him, his body tensed up and he felt Alec’s hole clench around his fingers a few times. He halted them.

“I got carried away, sorry.”

“No, please. Don’t stop.” Alec breathed and Magnus looked up at him, he looked wrecked. “This feels so good.” Magnus began to move his fingers again, in and out slowly, the lube providing a perfect glide. He stretched his fingers apart a little and then began to thrust into him again while he leant down and placed a kiss on the inside of Alec’s knee.

“Argh…fuck!” Alec yelped and jerked; Magnus stopped immediately.

“Is everything okay?” Magnus observed him.

“You hit my prostate.” Alec explained and chuckled completely out of breath. Magnus eyes widened.

“Oh. I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry.” He blinked a few times and Alec chuckled again, louder this time and then looked down to Magnus.

“It’s a good thing. It feels good when you do that.” Magnus quirked one eyebrow up in disbelief as if the Shadowhunter went crazy and Alec laughed again. “I’m serious. It’s a very sensitive spot, it feels amazing when you touch it.” Magnus eyebrow lowered again. Something stirred inside Magnus, a curious urge to do it again. To see Alec’s reaction.

He pushed his fingers back into him carefully and then searched around until he felt a little squishy ball, that felt slightly different than the rest of him. He brushed it with his fingertips and watched Alec throw his head back, a guttural groan escaping his throat.

The Shadowhunter was telling the truth. Fuck. He pushed his fingers against it again, poking it, stroking it and rubbed it gently, then quicker and watched Alec squirm and pant below him, his body shifting and tensing, he clutched the sheets next to him and let out a row of shameless moans. He began to sweat and Magnus growled from deep within his lungs, feeling the arousal in every cell of his body, the sudden drive to make Alec moan louder, tense harder, sweat more.

He loved that he could do this to Alec by only moving his fingers. He felt how his prostate swell and hardened lightly while he began to fuck his fingers into him; cum dropped out of Alec’s glans and slid down his cock while it throbbed with every thrust Magnus did.

“Oh fuuuuuck.” Alec cried out and grabbed his painful hard cock and jerked it violently. “Yes. Magnus. Don’t. Stop. Shit.” Alec moved his hips and circled them, thrusting himself into his hand and on Magnus fingers and Magnus felt like cumming untouched, watching Alec lose himself in the pleasure, that was probably the hottest thing he ever saw. The heady scent of his sweaty body did the rest.

He reached inside his own pyjama pants with his left hand and grabbed himself and pulled his cock out of his pants before he began to tug on it roughly, like his life depended on it. He could already feel his orgasm build from how aroused he was, a few seconds of pants, moans and hands working followed while Magnus tried to fuck his fingers right into that spot that drove Alec crazy.

Magnus felt Alec’s hole clench around his fingers and watched him cum on his stomach in waves which threw him over the edge so fast he almost didn’t see it coming, he came instantly and closed his eyes as his body began to jerk; both groaned loudly and Magnus got lost in the sensation for a moment before he felt himself rush back into reality after his body stopped shivering, he opened his eyes and then looked down at Alec’s almost pained face that softened with every second, then down to his fingers.

His eyes widened and he inhaled sharply as he saw Alec’s cum covered groin. Magnus’ cum was on his hand, cock, balls, thighs and on Magnus hand, he eased his fingers out of Alec and watched it twitch, when a drop of cum dropped into it and Magnus rushed forward and wiped it away immediately. He felt shame creep up his body and looked up at Alec, who was on his elbows again and then looked down, he reached to his crotch and wiped over it with his palm, feeling the hot liquid.

Oh no. Magnus wanted to melt into the bed and vanish. What did he do…He stared up at Alec slowly and apologetically and watched him lift his hand to his mouth where he licked his wet fingers lazily. Magnus mouth went slack and he felt his dick throb with desperate interest again

Oh fuck. What the…He did not.

Alec opened his eyes and then looked right at Magnus with a lopsided smirk and then offered his hand to Magnus; Magnus looked down at the thick drops of cum on his palm, he couldn’t even tell if it was Alec’s or his. Probably both. Was it impolite to refuse? But well, he could try…he was at least a bit interested in what it tasted like to be honest. He craned his neck and then licked something off his palm with the tip of his tongue and rolled it back into his mouth before smacking his lips.

It was bitter, it was salty, it was nasty, it was awesome. His face lit up and Alec blinked at him with a hint of pride. He sat up and then placed his clean hand behind Magnus neck and pulled him in to give him a kiss. Their heated lips met and both enjoyed the taste of the other one, their lips pressed against the other, melted, hardened, softened, licking inside the other one’s mouth. It was sloppy and hot. Magnus pulled back and both smiled at each other.

“That was great…amazing.” Alec licked his lips. “Thank you. You were perfect.” Magnus blushed at the compliment. “Did you like it?”

“I…did.” Magnus said almost surprised by his own answer and lifted his eyebrows. “I really did.” He looked down Alec’s sweaty body. “You are…extremely sexy, do you know that?” Alec chuckled. “I mean. Wow.” Alec shook his head.

“Did you ever look into a mirror? If anyone is sexy, it’s you.” Magnus lowered his face, feeling embarrassed and averted his eyes. Alec kissed his cheek. “It’s the truth. You are beautiful. And sexy. And hot. And strong. And intelligent. And amazing.”

“Stop.” Magnus wanted to hide his face; he was probably completely red by now. “You should shower.” Alec rolled his eyes but then got off the bed. Magnus saw the cum drop down his thighs and then looked up at the ceiling to distract himself. There was no way he was going into that shower with him now, he wouldn’t be able to keep his hands to himself, so he snapped his fingers and cleaned himself, snapped them again and had the sheets cleaned, then crawled into bed and listened to the shower stream until his eyes closed and he drifted off.

Alec returned 5 minutes later, naked and clean, teeth brushed and saw the snoring Warlock hugging the covers. He went into bed besides him and swung his arms around him, breathing slowly into his hair, feeling more relaxed than he had been in weeks. This was it. This was perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I hope you enjoyed this 4k of smut chapter 😎 I think Magnus just had the time of his life. Wasn't it sweet of Alec to let him explore? 🤤 Do you agree to keep the information from Magnus or was Magnus wrong in not telling Alec everything and was it wise to give Magnus the book? Leave some feedback! Much love 😘


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus looked at him for a bit, a loving smile playing on his lips. Alec looked beautiful when he was sleepy. Not that he didn’t look beautiful all the time, but something about that morning look made him look vulnerable, young and pure. No duties, no stress, just a sleepy, lazy, beautiful, young man. Magnus took his hand and crawled back into bed, but didn’t lay down, he crossed his legs and sat in front of Alec, he ran his hand through Alec’s messy hair lovingly and watched him enjoy the gesture, before a sudden tense expression hardened Magnus face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://ibb.co/xHGfWjw)

Alec opened his eyes to the dim morning sun that created a warm glow in the room, he immediately looked aside and wanted to snuggle himself against Magnus when he saw the empty spot beside him. He instantly perked up and sat in the bed, looking around himself. He was alone, he hadn’t expected to be alone after last night. He quickly grabbed his phone, it was 7am and no messages from Magnus. He usually never slept this long, but last night was…something else.

“You are up.” Alec shot his head towards the bathroom seeing Magnus walk into the room, chest still bare, pyjama pants on, his hair hanging low, he looked sleepy. Alec shifted a bit and leant on his knees. “I already feared I knocked you out last night.”

“You did. In a good way.” Alec stretched his arm to Magnus. “Come back to bed…”

Magnus looked at him for a bit, a loving smile playing on his lips. Alec looked beautiful when he was sleepy. Not that he didn’t look beautiful all the time, but something about that morning look made him look vulnerable, young and pure. No duties, no stress, just a sleepy, lazy, beautiful, young man. Magnus took his hand and crawled back into bed, but didn’t lay down, he crossed his legs and sat in front of Alec, he ran his hand through Alec’s messy hair lovingly and watched him enjoy the gesture, before a sudden tense expression hardened Magnus face.

“What’s wrong?” Alec asked nervously.

“Things are different here, way more open. In my dimension we usually first…get together and then do the sex stuff-” Alec bit his lower lip, trying to hide his grin, Magnus was so cute when he couldn’t say those words to him. Just like Alec at the beginning of their relationship. This was so odd and unbelievably amazing that he could witness this. “And I don’t know how comfortable I’d be with going the next step without knowing-“ he paused and inhaled. “What we are to each other.” He looked up at him with a hint of hope.

He had thought about this for a while now. What he was to Alec, what Alec was to him, it felt like a relationship but Alec had never voiced anything of that kind and he didn’t want to assume. He would never do such intimate things with just anyone and the slight fear that Alec was not on the same page bothered him.

Alec felt his throat run dry at the mention of their ‘next step’, his mind instantly tunnelling on those words. Did Magnus want sex with him? He wasn’t sure if Magnus would have wanted to try it again anytime soon but apparently, he was thinking about it. He hadn’t dared to ask or speak about it to not push him. Step by step. They had all the time in the world, hopefully. He cleared his throat.

“I know this must be confusing for you, everything. It’s all very new and we can take our time.” Alec answered as soft as possible and lay his hand on Magnus hand. Magnus observed the motion and stared at their hands, repeating the words in his head, he was grateful for them and it was very sweet of Alec to say but actually that was not what he wanted to talk about, it seemed like Alec was missing the point…or maybe decided to ignore?

“It is, yes and thank you…” Magnus still looked at him hopeful waiting for him to continue and Alec nodded firmly. A slight pang stirred in his chest at that, Alec was obviously done with his answer. He wrestled his emotions in check and then smiled at him lovingly. “But I am not alone, so I am sure I will be fine.” He stroked the back of Alec’s hand with his thumb.

“I still can’t believe you have lube, who gave it to you? I’m intrigued.” Magnus shook his head. “Humor me. Please.” Magnus expression changed into something cheeky.

“Isabelle.” Alec’s lips parted and he stared at him. “But she doesn’t know what it’s for…she doesn’t know about us. I promise Alec, I was discreet about this.” Alec lowered his head with a sigh, of course Magnus was too oblivious to know, but Alec knew that Izzy knew about them and now she knew they had lube, she wasn’t stupid, she would think they were having sex. He could already hear her scolding words, how he could not stop thinking with his lower head for once. It was only like that when it came to Magnus though.

He gulped and then looked back up at Magnus who looked unsure. “Good.” Alec answered, not wanting to stress him about this. “When we are at it already,” he began and then turned, stretched and grabbed something out of his drawer and then held the black box in his hand, offering it to Magnus, who looked like he was about to throw up.

“Oh, please not, take them away from me. I am sorry, I peeked inside, I couldn’t help it, I tried them and my god, they are awful, no.” he immediately tasted them in his mouth again, the slimy texture he couldn’t get rid of for hours. Alec narrowed one eye while raising his eyebrow in his very unique way.

“What do you mean you…tried them?” Magnus smacked his lips and licked his own tongue in a disgusted way. “You tried them on yourself? What was so awful about it?” Alec asked, interested but also slightly confused. He just wanted to ask Magnus if he knew what these were since he didn’t know what lube is. Slightly weird but also very arousing pictures of Magnus trying on different condoms played in his head.

On yourself? Magnus scrunched his nose. Were they talking about different things? “What exactly are those?” Alec hummed, having seen that question coming. There was something very odd but yet intimate and special about giving Magnus ‘the sex talk’, but he was mentally prepared.

“Condoms. You use them for safe sex, to prevent pregnancy or sexual transmitted infections. You pull them over the penis before the intercourse.” he explained, the Wikipedia article perfectly memorized and then opened one of them before rolling it over his finger skilfully, presenting the covered finger to Magnus without even blushing. But Magnus did. Heavily.

“Oh.” Was all he said and Alec watched the blush reach his ears, growing further down his chest until he was as red as a lobster. Alec wondered if he was going to faint for a moment. He obviously wasn’t that comfortable with the topic and Alec wondered if he should have done this differently, but the direct way seemed the easiest and best to him.

Condoms. For sex. He had actually heard about those before, they just had a different term in his dimension but he never got to see one up close, those were for the rich people. And he fucking ate it.

“You okay?” Alec observed the shocked lobster. “You seem surprised, didn’t you say you tried them?” Magnus crouched in on himself, a little lump of shame while Alec rolled the condom off his finger.

“Imighthavetriedtoeatthem.” He murmured. “Thoughtitwascandy.” Alec inhaled and straightened, pressing his lips together and feeling his throat tense from the effort not to burst out laughing into his face right now. It crawled up his mouth and pressed against his lips and he almost shivered, fighting against it with every strength he had in his body. He blinked and then breathed slowly, calm and steady. Then looked back at Magnus, who looked mortified.

“Okay. That happens.” Magnus squinted at Alec and tilted his head in a ‘really?’ way and Alec snorted through his teeth, not able to hold it in anymore, the laugh rolled off his tongue and Magnus chuckled, hearing Alec laugh was just contagious and beautiful, Alec shook his head, his face completely wrinkled and Magnus wondered if that wide smile of his would ever leave his face again, he laughed along, wheezing and panting as the tension left his body, a minute or two passed until they calmed again and both wiped their watery eyes. “Sorry.” Alec mumbled while his shoulders shook.

“It’s okay, I’m pretty stupid sometimes I suppose.” Alec shook his head again.

“Nah, you are not. You just didn’t know. What do you use in your dimension?” He asked, interested, though slightly afraid of the answer.

“Nothing. I am a Warlock as you know, I don’t need any protection.” Alec tilted his head aside while the last huff of laugh left his lips, finally. Magnus felt much better now, but the topic was still oddly awkward to him, talking to a friend was weird enough but Alec, well it was a good thing they could talk about these things if he was honest, Alec was very open and this was something he would have wished for in his past.

“And your ex-girlfriend, she was okay with it? Didn’t she wonder about the fact she wouldn’t get pregnant?” Alec hoped he wasn’t being too forward, but he was really interested in Magnus past, the things he never knew about him. And having some information on Magnus first lover wasn’t as frightening as it might seem, he was genuinely interested. It was definitely better than hearing stories of the 16.999 others. Though he was pretty sure that Magnus had been lying about this number in the first place.

“First of all, we didn’t have such things Alexander; I know about condoms but they weren’t for the…common folk. Also, they looked…different than those from what I heard. When you want to avoid pregnancy you simply pull out before- you know, which is what I did. But besides that, she was incapable of having children unfortunately. Not that I could have helped her with it anyways.” Alec nodded and now it was Magnus time to be curious, he licked his dry lips. “Why did you buy them? Do we- do we need them? I don’t get ill so I also can’t pass anything onto you. And I doubt I can get you knocked up.” Alec chuckled for a moment.

“I am sorry to hear that; she was probably devastated. But let me tell you, pulling out is not safe at all, just that you know. Not that you need that info but I feel like I should point it out. We don’t actually need them, but my ex-“ he paused and looked uncomfortable for a moment before his face went soft like he remembered something beautiful. “He was stubborn about this and wouldn’t do it without, at least the first times. He wanted me to understand how important they are and it also made things easier because they are lubed.” Magnus nodded, that made sense. It was good that guy taught Alec about these things.

“Your ex seems like quite the nice guy…you never told me why you two broke up.” Magnus whispered and he couldn’t deny the clenching of his heart the question caused but in some odd way he wanted to know. Wanted to know what caused Alec to break up with someone, maybe to avoid doing it.

Alec’s eyes seemed restless suddenly, he looked around himself like he was searching for answers and then settled on Magnus lips. “He is…he was. He was my first boyfriend and meant a lot to me.” Magnus felt another clench, why was he torturing himself like this? Hearing those words didn’t really make him happy, quite the contrary. But wait…

“Your first boyfriend? I thought you-…” Magnus blinked a few times and Alec shook his head.

“No, he was my first. I was in the closet before I met him and he- yes. He helped me in so many ways. I am not into one night stands or such, I don’t want anyone but y- but…” He sighed and ran his hand through his own hair and Magnus rose his eyebrows. Oh, okay. That was new and to be honest he liked the thought of that a lot. So, they were kind of in the same situation, with their second relationships. He hadn’t really pictured Alec like that though, he was so…experienced. And beautiful. And sexy. He had so much to offer.

“How did it end?” Magnus repeated, trying to get Alec back to the actual question and out of his lovestruck daze that kind of sting in Magnus heart.

“As I told you, we lost each other. He was gone…from one second to the other. Gone.” Alec mumbled; his eyes unfocused. Magnus searched his eyes though he wasn’t looking back at him.

Would that mean…that Alec would return to him the moment he appeared again? Was Alec waiting for him? Was he still in love? Was that the reason he ignored his question? He inhaled deeply and exhaled a little too shaky. Alec’s eyes suddenly focused and he looked back at Magnus, seeing his startled eyes.

“But if that wouldn’t have happened, I wouldn’t be here with you right now.” He whispered and Magnus widened his eyes. “I would have never met you and Magnus…you are wonderful. You are the most beautiful being I have ever laid eyes on.” Magnus felt his eyes water and Alec reached out to cup his cheek. “I love the way you speak, the way you think, your jokes even if you don’t mean to be funny, the way you blush.” Magnus blushed. “Yes. That.” Alec chuckled and rubbed his cheekbone with his thumb. “I am so grateful I have met you.”

Magnus lowered his head and sucked in some much needed air, the emotions were overwhelming him right now and he really had no idea what to answer on those words, nobody had ever said something even slightly similar to this to him. Alec pulled his hand back as he noticed it. But he really needed to say those words, to get them out.

“I can’t believe you ate the condom.” Alec teased, trying to ease Magnus tension and Magnus groaned while rolling his eyes with a smile, he was glad for the change in topic and slid off the bed and walked to the bathroom. “And that you looked after I told you not to.” Alec added a bit louder.

Magnus sent him a cocky smile. “I don’t like surprises and I am curious, deal with it.” He turned around in the doorway. “And I can’t believe you bought them. Makes me think you are trying to get me laid.”

“Maybe. Why did you get the lube?”

“Touché Alexander, touché.” He went into the bathroom and closed the door and heard Alec laugh outside.

Magnus undressed himself and then turned on the water, stepping under the hot water stream before running his fingers though his hair, breathing calm and steady. He replayed Alec’s words in his head. The Shadowhunter had no idea what they meant to him. He was completely in thoughts when fingers slid over his sides and to his chest. He shrieked and jumped with surprise.

“Oh shit, Alexander! You scared the hell out of me!” He gasped.

“Who did you expect? Chairman Meow?” Alec laughed and took a step closer, pressing his naked body against the Warlock. Magnus felt instantly distracted, not really knowing what was happening or where he was or who he was. His mind went blank.

“I uhm I yes…right.” He returned to his shower, trying to distract himself while he felt Alec’s fingers slide down to his stomach. “You are distracting me.” Magnus murmured.

“Is it working yes?” Alec hands slid up to his chest again where he grabbed his pecs, squeezing them and Magnus moaned softly.

“This is cruel…”

“Why?” Alec asked and leant forward to nibble on Magnus earlobe.

“Because it will make me want to do things.” Magnus shivered in his arms as Alec sucked on his ear. “As if that condom talk wasn’t enough to get me-“ He stopped and tried to focus on the water.

“Then let us ‘do things’.” Alec turned Magnus around who looked slightly startled and put his hands on Alec’s upper arms, pushing him back a little.

“We did yesterday, Alexander.” Alec frowned and squinted, stopping his actions immediately.

“So? Does that mean we can’t do it today?” Magnus opened his mouth before pressing his lips into a thin line again.

“Yes, it does.” Alec looked at him like he grew two heads.

“Are you serious? Why?” Alec almost sounded offended if he didn’t sound so confused.

“You know, you have to rest first. Recover.” Magnus stuttered now, feeling a bit unsure about what he was saying at the moment due to Alec’s confusion.

“What? What kind of nonsense is this? Who told you that?” Alec laughed. “Sorry but, this is ridiculous. You make it sound like you ripped me apart. It was just two fingers.” Magnus averted his eyes.

“It felt like it.” He mumbled and Alec laughed louder.

“I am fine Magnus, really. Nothing ripped. Nothing broken. I’m fine.” Magnus looked back up at him with pink cheeks, feeling a little stupid. He just wanted to take care of him though, that’s all. “Also, I have had way bigger things in there already.” Alec licked his bottom lip and then pressed them together, realising this was probably a bit too much for Magnus. Magnus face froze while his dick throbbed with curious interest.

“I am glad you are fine then.” Magnus was about to turn around to look somewhere else and also hide his growing erection when Alec took a step closer and back under the stream, before tilting his head down to kiss Magnus, he pressed his lips against Magnus wet ones, tasting him, savouring the moment before he let him go again.

“Just so you know…I don’t need to rest. You can do whatever you want with me. Whenever you want. Except now, I am already running late.” He quickly washed his body and every corner and hole he had while Magnus watched him like a hawk. Alec pressed another peck on his wet cheek and let his pointer finger flick over Magnus’ erection, causing it to bounce and Magnus to flinch. “I am sorry I can’t take care of this right now.” Alec left the shower as quick as he had come.

Magnus still stood frozen. Did he hear this right? Whatever he wanted? Whenever he wanted? Magnus blinked his eyes a few times before turning around to wash himself, wishing his erection away.

\---

“How about this?” Magnus tilted his head and watched the transparent coat in Izzy’s hands like it was about to bite him.

“I don’t know…doesn’t that scream hooker much?” Izzy groaned and put the coat away.

“I like it.” She said observing the object and Magnus tilted his head, of course she did. “Depends on what you wear under it. You refuse everything I pick; do you want to be warm or not?” Magnus quickly nodded. “So, let me pick!” She hissed and then roamed through the jackets and coats again. Magnus was grateful enough she was spending her time shopping with him once more, New York was still a huge, loud and kind of chaotic place to him and he would probably get lost somewhere.

“Hey, how about this?” Simon asked and showed him a knee long, beige and thick leather coat.

“All right, I am neither a prostitute nor a pimp.” Magnus frowned and then turned away to look through the stuff himself. He just wanted something simple, something warm, maybe stylish but that was no must. He grabbed a long black coat from the rack and nodded to himself. Yep. He walked to the checkout, after grabbing a scarf and gloves on his way and lay it all in front of the annoyed looking girl that gave him a scolding look. Those were just clothes, no need to take ages to find something. She suddenly sneezed and Magnus felt something wet hit his face. Urgh. Thanks?

“That is $250.” She said and held out her hand while chewing on her gum quite over dramatically. He snapped his fingers below the counter and handed her $300.

“You can keep the rest, thanks.” He wasted no second to get away from there and wiped his face before he dressed himself in his new clothes when Izzy and Simon came his way, their arms full of stuff. “And?” He asked and Izzy rolled her eyes, throwing the clothes aside to the ground without a care.

“Fine.” She huffed and then left the store; stomping outside with her clicking heels and Simon followed her and gave Magnus a pat on the shoulder.

“You look great.” Magnus beamed at him and followed the Vampire outside until they reached Izzy at a little imbiss inside the mall, holding a big plastic bottle with a straw, something red inside, she slurped and looked utterly annoyed. “It’s that time again…” Simon whispered and Magnus nodded, that explained her behaviour. Simon grinned at Izzy as he reached her and she narrowed her eyes. She put the drink down and then grimaced.

Magnus pulled on a stool and grabbed Izzy’s hand carefully. “You should sit.” She sat down with a huff and crouched over. “Do you need anything?” Magnus asked while kneeling in front of her. She looked like in pain and Magnus didn’t like that one bit. He felt like it was his duty to take care of her when Alec wasn’t around. She shook her head. “Chocolate?” Magnus asked and Izzy chuckled. “Chocolate it is.” Magnus got up and then made his way to find some supermarket.

He returned 10 minutes later with a bag full of candy and sweets and watched Izzy’s eyes light up the moment he handed her the bag, he also noticed Simon’s ‘no, you didn’t’ look, his arms crossed in front of his chest in defence. Magnus went over to him while Izzy darted into her sweets and Simon smacked him on the arm. “Ouch.” He hissed.

“You make me look like a bad boyfriend man.” Magnus shrugged; it wasn’t his fault Simon didn’t offer anything and Simon only smacked him again. “I thought we are friends.” Simon joked, though his voice seemed partly serious.

“We are. Don’t be ridiculous. I just can’t see her suffer.” Simon blinked at him a few times and tilted his head.

“I hate you.” Magnus grinned widely.

“You love me.” Simon nodded and shook his head all the same, which looked quite odd.

“Well, yes I might. But that’s not the point.” Magnus looked around himself when his eyes landed on a jewellery shop on the other side. He patted Simons arm and then went off.

“I will be right back.” He stopped half way and turned back to Simon. He pointed at Simon, then two fingers to his own eyes and then to Izzy and Simon threw his hands up, Magnus quickly turned around and made his way to the shop.

It was in the corner of the mall and tiny, it smelled like leather and mint tea. Everything sparkled bright which made his heart speed up. He enjoyed sparkly things quite much.

“May I help you?” A mid 40 looking woman with short, red hair asked and he rose his eyebrows, thinking about it, wondering what it was exactly that made him go here.

“I want to get something for- ehm, my friend.” The woman nodded with a soft smile and corrected her glasses before she looked around herself.

“Is it a woman or a gentleman? What is the occasion?” Magnus followed the lady and walked deeper into the little store until there was nowhere else to go.

“He…he is a boy. A man. There is no occasion I just…I want to get him something.” She looked at him sceptically and then smirked; Magnus eye twitched at her look.

“What does your ‘friend’ like?” Magnus tried to think about all the things Alec liked.

“Archery. Black. Pizza. Pens. Books. Action movies. His family. Boots. Did I mention black?” He rambled, looking up at the ceiling. “Cats.” And everything involving sex. The woman tilted her head with a fond smile. She went to look through her stuff and then returned with a few options. He saw bows, cats, hearts, the things looked nice, very nice but it wasn’t what he was looking for.

Magnus burst out laughing the second he saw a necklace with a pendant in some corner and then grabbed it. Oh well. That might just be it. The lady looked at him a bit startled and Magnus quickly gathered himself and put the necklace on the counter.

She took the pendant with a little snicker and Magnus paid for it before she put it in a little bag. “I am sure he will enjoy this.” She said and Magnus felt his cheeks blush.

“Thank you…” He gave her a little smirk and then quickly left the shop. “Have a nice day.” He shouted and then closed the door to go back to the others. Simon sat on Izzy’s place and Izzy was gone. “Hey, where is Izzy?” He asked and looked around.

“Demon attack, she had to leave.” Simon explained and chew on some candy bar Magnus had bought for her. He couldn’t help but feel sorry for her, she was obviously in no state to fight and do any activities right now but had to, she probably used some rune to numb the pain. You could only admire that girl, he thought and then sat beside Simon.

“So, Alec will be gone too I suppose.” Magnus huffed and then grabbed one of the chocolate bars himself. 

“Wanna get drunk?” Simon asked and Magnus looked aside with a smirk, that actually sounded nice but he had other plans for the rest of the day. He wanted to work on his magic, so he shook his head.

“Not today, but I am in another time. I gotta go back now.” Magnus got up and then gasped. “Oh, I need Izzy to find my way back.” Simon laughed and got up too.

“I can bring you, come on.” Both made their way to the Institute where Simon left him after a bear hug and Magnus quickly hopped inside, seeing a crowd of Shadowhunters running all over the place, everyone was on high alert, apparently it was a bigger attack than he had thought.

He made his way past the drama to not disturb anyone and saw Alec interact with them from afar, his face serious. Poor Alexander…but damn he was hot. Magnus couldn’t help but think about Alec in full Shadowhunter gear in their bedroom, talking to him in his deep and commanding voice. He shivered pleasantly and then quickly made his way back up to his room and nestled himself on his big armchair after getting rid of his stuff, his book in his lap.

He spent the next few hours reading and working on his magic, learning and trying, failing and loosening his patience. It was frustrating. By the time he closed the book he had headaches. Luckily, he found a page about portals in some odd language he didn’t understand, it looked like someone had hastily scribbled it into it. He would need to look into that another time and translate it somehow.

He got up and walked down the cafeteria to have dinner, the cafeteria was already packed, it seemed they have handled the demon attack by now. Well, it’s what they do. After swallowing down his dinner he rushed to Alec’s office, a bowl of chili in hands, along with his gift. He knocked and opened it slowly to look inside.

“Hey.” Alec’s face lit up the moment he saw Magnus and Magnus noticed that he looked extremely exhausted, he was a bit pale and had eyebags. He closed the door and walked closer, putting the bowl in front of Alec.

“You were not at dinner; I suppose you haven’t had anything to eat yet. Please.” Alec nodded and sighed, a thankful but tired look on his face. “Is everything okay? You don’t look good. I mean…you always look good, but…you know.” Alec nodded and took a careful bite of the chili.

“The day has been a blast. Really, great. Loved it.” Alec’s tone was filled with sarcasm and then he shovelled the chili into his mouth like no tomorrow until the bowl was empty. Magnus watched him with awe and disgust and then snapped his fingers to have the bowl full again and Alec dove right in, before the second bowl was empty too and then sighed contently.

“Will you tell me about it?” Magnus sat down on the side of the table, looking at him. He looked so tired and exhausted and still pretty. Damn him.

Alec thought about it and then leant back. He scratched his forehead for a moment. “The Seelie Queen wants to visit tomorrow. She wants to talk to me.” Magnus let out a small gasp and tensed instantly. “As a leader, I have to accept her offer. We need peace, we need to talk…but-“ he stopped and looked up at Magnus. “I don’t want her anywhere near you.” Magnus eyes softened and he turned around some more.

“I understand. I could leave the Institute when she comes.” He suggested but Alec shook his head.

“No, I want to have an eye on you, I don’t trust her, this might be a trick.”

“Do you know what she wants?” Alec shook his head.

“She hasn’t told me. I will have to wait and see. Magnus, when she is here, I want you to stay in your room and lock it with magic, you can’t let anyone in except me, okay?” Magnus wanted to argue against it, Magnus was able to take care of himself, but he didn’t want to stress Alec more, so he nodded and agreed.

“I have something for you.” He said and hopped off the table, Alec furrowed his brow and watched him move closer.

“For me?” He sounded extremely surprised. Magnus nodded and then walked behind the chair.

“Don’t look.” He said and then waited until Alec had his eyes closed and opened the necklace to lay it around his neck, he closed it and then walked to his front again. “Okay.”

Alec opened his eyes slowly and immediately looked down on himself, it was a long silver necklace with a round silver pendant; he tilted his head aside to read what it said but couldn’t, so he grabbed it and turned it around before he laughed loud and chaotic, his shoulders shaking, he shook his head. “You’re my favorite asshole?” He asked and then wheezed and Magnus smiled widely, admittedly a little embarrassed too.

“It made me think of you.” He explained and Alec doubled over in his chair, a laugh rippling out of his lungs before he straightened himself again with a loud inhale of oxygen. He wiped his eyes.

“Thank you…that is lovely.” A few little puffs of air still escaped his lips and he then quickly put the necklace below his shirt to hide it. “I will wear it every day. Come here.” He said and grabbed Magnus hand and pulled him on his lap. Magnus sat down with a gasp and then looked aside and into his watery eyes.

He didn’t look as exhausted anymore and Magnus was glad that he was able to cheer him up and distract him for a bit. Magnus was instantly wrapped in Alec’s masculine scent which made him feel things. Really, that man only needed to breathe in his general direction and Magnus was done for.

“You are welcome and it’s the truth.” Magnus kissed his forehead lovingly and Alec closed his eyes, melting into the gesture. “You should get some rest…real rest. Sleep.” Magnus murmured against his forehead and then pulled back, he couldn’t stay near him any longer or he would not be able to leave anymore.

“I don’t want to.” Alec murmured back and kissed Magnus throat sloppily. “I would rather do other things.”

“Alexander.” Magnus scolded and Alec looked up at him with a smirk. “You are exhausted.” Alec shook his head, the smirk never leaving his lips.

“I just need some distraction.” Magnus felt Alec’s hand slide up the inside of his thigh. His voice was almost a whisper and Magnus felt his heartbeat increase. He could see Alec’s eyes fill with lust, the jerky breaths that came out of his nose. He got the message. It was very clear. It wasn’t like he didn’t want this, his whole body screamed for Alec, but Alec really needed rest. He hopped off him to get some distance between them and took his big hand in his.

“Come on, let us get to bed. To sleep!” Magnus hauled him off the chair and after him through the corridors, Alec followed slowly and lazy like some reluctant child, kissing Magnus neck once in a while until they were back in their room, Magnus shove him inside and closed the door behind his stubborn Shadowhunter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They finally had time to talk, a lot. Alec giving Magnus 'the sex talk' now how about that? 😂And is he shamelessly flirting with him? Damn right he is 😏 But Magnus still doesn't know what they are to each other. What do you think of his little gift? So, the Seelie Queen is visiting, hm? 🤔 Thanks for all the kudos and comments on the last chapter! You are the best!


	34. Chapter 34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What do you want from Magnus?” Alec asked, all protocols flying out of the window.
> 
> “I want to protect him.” Alec tensed even more at that, how dare her.
> 
> “Protect him? He needs protection from you.” The Queen lowered her shoulders, her face softening even more and even though she smiled it made Alec shiver.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://imgbb.com/)   


Both undressed themselves, by the time Magnus got out of the bathroom Alec was already in bed under the thick sheets. Magnus crawled under the covers too and Alec immediately melted into him and planted kisses on his throat. “Alexander. I said you need to relax and sleep.” Magnus shoved him away a little and watched Alec pout. Magnus quirked an eyebrow and gave him a little smirk. “You are quite persistent when you want something.”

“Only when it’s about you.” Alec whispered and then began to kiss Magnus shoulder. Magnus rolled his eyes, even though he more than enjoyed this. He just thought that Alec needed to rest. His heartbeat increased with every kiss of Alec’s soft lips on his skin.

“You shouldn’t be overexerting yourself today.” Magnus leant away and Alec’s pursed lips landed in the air.

“Then help me relax.” Alec teased and Magnus could see his eyes devour him. Magnus chew on his bottom lip and could see Alec follow the motion with his eyes, his lips parting softly.

“And what would help you relax Alexander?” Alec’s lip curled upwards on one side. His eyes flickering between Magnus eyes and lips.

“Your mouth…maybe.” He all but whispered, so quiet Magnus almost didn’t hear it. Alec’s expression changed the moment the words were out and he pressed his lips together, looking unsure.

“My mouth?” Magnus chuckled. Well that he could do. He shifted closer with a smirk and leant in, tilting his head when Alec backed off a bit, his fingers on Magnus pursed lips to stop him gently.

“No…I meant-“ Magnus furrowed his brow. “Not on my lips.” He said the words slowly, as if he didn’t dare to say them and Magnus pulled himself back. Not on his lips? Okay, well he could kiss the rest just as good, no probl- wait. His eyes widened and he stared at Alec, who stared right back. He…he was talking about a blow job, wasn’t he? Magnus looked aside and down on Alec and back up, an almost frightened expression on his face and Alec tensed as he saw Magnus realise what he was speaking about.

“Sorry, I- this was stupid. I shouldn’t have said that. Forget it.” Now it was Alec’s turn to look frightened and he just wanted to erase the past minutes off Magnus mind. He told himself to stop this, to stop pushing him and again he couldn’t stop himself.

Magnus thought about all the things he knew about blow jobs, all the images and infos running through his mind, what Alec had done to him, what Clary and Izzy had told him, he knew how to do it, at least theoretically.

“I can.” Magnus suddenly said and both looked at each other surprised. “I mean…I can try?” Magnus added, not wanting Alec to have his hopes up high. Alec quickly shook his head.

“No, don’t Magnus. I don’t want you to do this because I forced you to.” Magnus tilted his head aside, a bit startled.

“Are you forcing me Alexander?” Alec tensed even more and sat up.

“No! I would never.”

“Then why do you think you do? I don’t feel forced, you asked and I agreed, just like that.” Magnus shrugged, sounding more nonchalant than he actually felt. He really didn’t want Alec to feel that way, like he was making him do things he doesn’t want because it was simply not the truth. He was interested in all of it and if Alec would like this he would like to try.

Alec relaxed a little and shifted on the bed. “Are you sure?” Magnus saw the hope and arousal in Alec’s eyes and it took Magnus a second to think about it. Yes, he was sure, he wanted to do this.

“Yes.” He said as serious as possible even though he felt his hands go sweaty with excitement. “Do you want me to?” He asked again and it took Alec the same amount to reply.

“I would love to, yes. Please. If you want to, of course.” He stuttered and Magnus let out a huff. Alec was obviously excited. Shit. He really wanted this. Did he really think this through? Could he do what he wanted? Would he be able to please him at all? Alec’s cheeks turned pink and he shifted nervously again. There they were, two nervous wrecks.

Magnus leant in again and nosed Alec’s face up before giving him a soft kiss, he could feel the tremble of Alec’s lips. “Don’t be nervous, I won’t bite you.” Alec laughed quietly.

“I know. I just don’t want to fuck this up. For you.”

Same Alec, same.

Magnus hovered over Alec and made him lie back down and placed a kiss on his chest immediately, another one followed until he was smothering him with little kisses all over the body while going down on him. The lower he got, the more he felt his nerves wind up with anxiety. He kissed down his happy trail until his waistband. He took a deep breath and then sneaked his fingers under the waistband and pulled his pants and boxers down his legs.

Magnus eyes grew wide for a moment and he then looked up to Alec a bit confused. He wasn’t hard. Wasn’t he supposed to be hard for a blow job? Magnus felt his heartbeat pick up once more, he wasn’t prepared for this. Was he supposed to jerk him until he was hard? Or do it with his mouth? Or wait? Shit. He was doing so well.

“Sorry, my body is pretty exhausted.” Alec explained and sounded a bit embarrassed as he saw the startled expression on Magnus face.

“No, it’s all right. I get it.” Magnus quickly assured him, it wasn’t that he felt offended he wasn’t hard, not at all, he was just confused about how to go about this now. He thought he would just put the hard cock in his mouth. He really didn’t want to do this wrong. “I-“ He began and blushed. Alec leant on his elbows and watched him carefully.

“What’s wrong?” Magnus looked up at the question.

“Help me.” He whispered and Alec smiled for a second before fighting it down, no don’t smile now.

“Of course, just ehm, kiss it, or lick it or…I don’t know, do what you like, there really is no wrong way.” Magnus groaned internally; he wouldn’t agree on that one. There were many wrong ways. But it was fortunate when you thought about it, at least it would fit his mouth this way.

Magnus made himself comfortable between Alec’s legs and brushed his fingers along Alec’s strong thighs until his hip where he rested them; Alec’s cock twitched appreciatively. Okay this wouldn’t take too long he thought and then craned his neck down to kiss the skin next to his parts.

A strong and sharp scent immediately hit him, he knew that smell all too well, he smelled the same after a long day. But as odd as it was, he didn’t mind it one bit, it was actually quite arousing to him, even though it was something he loathed on himself. Alec smelled divine.

Magnus tilted his head a bit and then kissed the side of Alec’s dick, a little peck only. And another one, more snug this time. He nestled his face against his soft skin and kissed it open mouthed, before sucking on the velvety skin lightly; his dick twitched upwards again and Alec gasped. Okay, he was doing something right, maybe there really wasn’t a wrong way after all.

He kissed along the soft skin until he was at the head that was comfortable hidden still, he stuck out his tongue and pushed it into his foreskin to lick the tip and heard Alec’s deep guttural moan from above him, he placed his lips around the head and then sucked him into his mouth effortlessly, it felt soft but still heavy on his tongue; the taste was too unique to actually describe it, it made him feel all heady.

This felt really intimate. Alec’s dick instantly began to throb in his mouth; Magnus took a deep breath through his nostrils and closed his eyes before he bobbed his head back and forth in a wavy motion careful not to hurt him, minding not to use his teeth on him.

It hardened instantly and Magnus felt it fill his mouth more with each suck, Alec squirmed below him while creating little sounds of passion, encouraged by Alec’s reaction he began to put even more effort into it, he pressed his tongue against the underside and felt the thick vein twitch against his tongue. He hummed and actually felt like he was doing this right, he felt good doing it.

A strangled gasp escaped his lungs when his cock stretched his lips apart and it hit the back of his throat. His jaw and throat clenched painfully and he took his mouth off before coughing chaotically against the back of his hand. Dry heaving for a moment as his eyes watered.

“Shit. You okay?” Alec breathed and opened his eyes; Magnus nodded even though he looked nothing like it.

“Y-Yeah, I was just a little startled. Sorry.” Magnus looked back down seeing Alec’s glistening cock in full length now, it was twice the size and rock hard. Magnus licked his lips and took the base in his hand before going back down, he stretched his lips wide and took him back into his mouth, it felt much bigger now, it was everywhere. He felt the glans lie on his tongue, heavy and hot and then slid his mouth down on it, taking him in, before he choke again and got off with another wild coughing fit.

“Hey.” Alec sat up and took Magnus cheeks between his large hands and tried to soothe him. “Breathe.” Alec felt that he wasn’t really deep in, he didn’t hit the back of his throat but Magnus was still choking, he was obviously not used to this. “Go slow okay, don’t take it in too deep. You don’t have to at all when you don’t want to, you can just kiss it or something. Do what feels good.” Magnus was bright red around the nose, feeling utterly embarrassed and out of breath. “It’s okay, Magnus.” Alec’s thumb brushed over his cheek in a circle. “We can stop?” Alec suggested and Magnus shook his head stubbornly.

“No. I want this. Let me try again.” Alec searched his eyes, wondering if he should just make him stop and call it a night or let him try it, he looked determined but also scared. It was hard to witness.

“Okay.” Alec let go off him and lay back down on the bed.

“Close your eyes.” Alec did as he was told but kept his hand on Magnus, stroking him. Magnus stretched his jaw a little, hearing it crack, before he went back down to kiss the underside of his cock, mixing little pecks with licks and occasionally sucked on the hard member that throbbed against his mouth, Alec groaned and squeezed his hand. Obviously, he wasn’t able to properly suck on him, yet, but that didn’t mean that he couldn’t give him pleasure in other ways. He licked up his skin until the head where a drop of precum melted on his tongue, bitter and sweet all the same.

Magnus swallowed the tip into his mouth and began to suck on it hard while moving his head in little, quick jerks until he tasted more and more precum on his tongue. “Oh fuck…shit. This is so good Magnus, you- fuck, you are doing perfect.” Alec’s other hand reached his hair where he grabbed a few of his strands and pulled on them roughly. Magnus hissed around his cock at the pain, but was too distracted to actually care. His breath was jerky and his nostrils fluttered while he concentrated on breathing.

He continued this for some time until he felt his jaw begin to hurt and tried to keep up but his rhythm faltered. He released his now swollen and red tip with a plop and inhaled deeply. He circled his aching jaw and looked up at Alec, his cheeks flushed, his chest heaving.

“Are you close?” Alec opened his eyes and gave him an apologetical look and Magnus groaned, his shoulders slumping. He didn’t know if it was because he wasn’t used to this, but his neck, throat and jaw hurt from all the bobbing and sucking. Ugh. He couldn’t leave Alec hanging like this. “Wait.”

Magnus crawled forward and then grabbed Alec’s shoulders and twirled him around before Magnus sat back against the headboard and slithered down a bit; he motioned for Alec to come closer who knelt in front of him completely confused. “What- What are you doing?” Alec panted.

“Use my mouth.” Magnus reached for his waist and pulled on him but Alec grabbed his wrist.

“Use your mouth? As in-?” Magnus pushed his hand away and reached for waist again with both hands, pulling him closer.

“As in put your cock in my mouth and fuck it.” Alec inhaled sharply and looked down at Magnus red face, the words didn’t match his expression actually and he didn’t know if he should do what he offered. This felt…not right, to use him for his pleasure. But he really wanted it, he couldn’t deny the deep and overwhelming urge to thrust himself into Magnus mouth right now.

“You don’t have to.” Alec offered but Magnus only licked his lips before parting them lightly, giving him permission to dart right in. Alec kneed his way forward and on top Magnus chest until he was right in front of him and then grabbed the base of his cock, pointing it to Magnus soft lips who opened them some more; Alec shivered at the sight only.

“Tell me, if I go to deep, okay?” Alec’s voice was filled with concern and excitement and he then carefully guided his cock between Magnus lips, feeling the warmth of his mouth. Magnus closed his eyes and pressed his lips against his skin to build some friction. He concentrated on his breathing while Alec began to gently thrust into him, only an inch back and forth, followed by a row of deep moans.

Alec leant forward against the wall with his stretched out arms and clenched his ass muscles, only moving his hips, his head hanging low. “God…fuck...” Magnus swallowed down the precum that dropped down his cock and tried to create a vacuum with his cheeks like Alec had done for him the other day, he held Alec’s hips with his hands and pressed his fingertips into his skin. This felt oddly arousing, to be taken for pleasure that way. Things Magnus didn’t know he liked. But most of all he enjoyed the way Alec enjoyed himself, that he could have what he wanted.

“Is this okay?” Alec’s voice was strained and Magnus nodded his head lightly before looking up at him and Alec visibly trembled at the sight. He began to speed it up a little and Magnus closed his eyes again, he pushed his tongue against the head when it moved forward to prevent him from going to deep in his aroused state, it wasn’t like he didn’t trust him but he knew how Alec could get.

He opened his eyes again and looked up to see Alec lift his head, throwing it back with a loud groan while he fucked Magnus mouth, completely lost in his passion. His stomach muscles twitched, his arms shook, he could feel him tense below his fingers. He was close now. Okay, was he supposed to swallow it like Alec did? What was the protocol? Instructions, please. Magnus looked around himself a bit desperately and then closed his eyes. There was no time to think about it more.

He felt his cock throb and swell and Alec’s rhythm faltered, he quickened it again in a last desperate attempt to reach his release and then pulled himself out of Magnus; he reached down with both his hands and grabbed his own cock, jerking it roughly, his other hand in Magnus hair before spurts of hot cum landed on Magnus face, he clenched his eyes shut and tried to tilt his head aside but Alec kept him in place with the force of his hand. Magnus felt the cum slide down his eye and cheek and pressed his lips shut.

Alec released his death grip on his hair and sighed loudly before he lowered himself on his legs, his body still spasming. Magnus reached up and wiped his eyes while he felt his head throb from the stinging pain of Alec’s grip seconds ago, he opened his eyes slowly and watched Alec opening his eyes too, they widened and his mouth went slack.

“Oh shit. I didn’t mean to, I was…oh, sorry.” He stuttered and then quickly reached aside into the drawer to get some wipes; he shakily wiped Magnus face clean a bit too eager while a row of ‘sorry’s’ left his throat. Magnus lips quirked up once he was clean.

“Don’t worry…that was hot.” Alec froze at the words before a lopsided grin graced his face.

“You liked that?” he asked a bit too smug and Magnus winked. Alec rolled his eyes and groaned before laughing loudly. “You are unbelievable.” Magnus chimed in and then grabbed Alec to pull him down on the bed and turned them both around until he lay on top of him. He nosed Alec’s face up and then planted a loving and warm kiss on his lips; Alec swung his arms around the Warlock and returned the kiss with all the love he had in him. “Thank you.” Alec whispered once they parted and breathed against his face.

“You are welcome…always.” Alec grabbed his cheek and pulled him back into a fiery kiss before Magnus slithered down his side and both snuggled against the other.

“I am sorry I made you choke.” Alec broke the silence after a few minutes.

“I am pretty sure I choked myself.” Alec laughed and pulled him closer. “Sleep now.” Magnus commanded and Alec giggled quietly.

“Good Night, darling.” Magnus looked up at him with big round eyes and then smiled shyly before lowering his head again.

“Good Night.”

\---

Magnus sauntered through the corridors the next morning, trying his best not to attract too much attention, dressed in mostly black he made his way through the Shadowhunters and to the ops center, there was something he had to do and if he was quick enough nobody would even notice. He slid his fingers along the computer table while his eyes scanned the area. He pursed his lips aside and tapped the screen, his eyes narrowed he let them drop aside and then snapped his fingers, unlocking the whole thing. It instantly lit up and Magnus backed off, his hands on the lamp behind him as if he was adjusting it.

He sneakily glanced around and then took a few steps backwards, before returning to his task at hand, he entered Lorenzo’s name and hit enter when a black bar appeared. Locked. He squinted his eyes and then typed it again, hitting enter. Locked. The file was locked. He huffed and slumped his shoulders. Damn it. Without a care in the world he left the unlocked computer to walk to the security office where he had met Alec the other day. He knocked on the wall and watched Underhill turn around, a bit surprised.

“Oh, hey Magnus. How can I help you?” He turned his chair around to face Magnus, who took a moment to look around himself and all the computer screens, this room gave him headaches.

“I need to get some information, Lorenzo Rey. I need to contact him but the file is locked.” Underhill narrowed his eyes.

“How do you even know that?” Magnus let out a little gasp before he strolled closer.

“Alec…he, gave me access.” He stared him down, daring him to accuse him of a lie. Underhill looked uncomfortable.

“Did he.” Magnus nodded.

“Okay, let me check.” He turned his chair back around and typed away, too fast for Magnus to follow, when the Locked sign appeared again, Underhill huffed and then typed some more. “This is odd. Someone locked the file.” Both Magnus and Underhill watched as Alec’s name appeared on the screen. Magnus felt his face twitch and then straightened himself. Alec locked the file?

“When did he lock it?” Magnus asked and Underhill checked the time and then told him. It was the day Magnus had asked him about Lorenzo’s address, Magnus tried not feel offended but it was quite difficult. Did he think Magnus would sneak around and try to get the information? How dare him…well. Magnus sighed. He was right and he did. Obviously, he really didn’t want him to meet that Lorenzo guy.

“Can you unlock it?” Magnus knew this was a slim chance but he had to try. Underhill shook his head.

“I could but I shouldn’t. Alec must have had his reasons to do that, I can’t go behind his back.” Magnus groaned loudly and then sat on the table looking up at the ceiling while Underhill gave him a pitiful glance. “Talk to him, he might unlock it for you.” Magnus sucked his lips in and them let them flop out again causing a plopping sound.

“Nope. He won’t. But thank you.” He brushed Underhill’s shoulder and then left the office again, sulking like a child. He quickly made his way to the library and gathered a few books before going back to his room to translate the pages about portals.

\---

Alec stood in front of the table in the meeting hall, his arms behind his back and his jaw clenched. He was dressed as the Head of the Institute, while a group of armed Shadowhunters gathered around the front door of the room, Izzy standing beside him. Alec didn’t know how to feel about this, how to behave, it was not the first time he had met someone he doesn’t like, not the first time he had to make compromises with someone he despised. But this, was something completely different. It made him nervous and all kinds of angry.

Meeting the Seelie Queen was definitely not his top priority, even though they needed to get this problem out of the way, to have peace. But how could he talk to the woman who had Magnus kidnapped, who was trying to hurt him, who was obviously evil. This wasn’t just someone, this was about Magnus, his fiancé, the love of his life. Izzy looked aside and observed her big brother intensely and Alec shifted his eyes to her for a second before turning them, fixing them on the door. Even if he tried, he wouldn’t be able to get that frown out of his face and he didn’t want to.

The tension was almost palpable. It was quiet, too quiet. Until the squeaking door startled them out of it, the heavy door opened and Jace and another Shadowhunter entered the hall followed by a bunch of heavy armed seelies with spears, they walked in rows, their faces emotionless and Alec straightened himself, his whole body tense. He didn’t have his bow with him, he couldn’t and it kind of made him itch, he really wanted it close by, but he was in fact armed, the daggers hidden in his boots and jacket. It was not that he expected a fight but it made him feel better.

Alec could see the glimpse of a crown and red hair in the masses of Seelies that came his way until the rows parted in front of him and turned aside, slamming their spears into the ground loudly which made Alec twitch from how tense his body was. And then there she was, standing a few feet in front of him, her dress melted into some kind of armour on her chest and shoulders, thin but strong looking metal; she was tall and moved like a snake, almost floating towards him until she stopped. 

Her face showed no emotions, she almost looked calm and happy, there was not a single wrinkle on her sparkling face. Alec’s eyes wandered down her gown and up to her face with disgust, he was in no mood to hide what he felt.

“Alexander Lightwood. I see your fiancé is not around?” She spoke with a soft voice that didn’t match her soul. Alec gulped heavily and tried to collect his thoughts; he could hear the rustle of fabric from where the Shadowhunters stood along with Jace.

“Your Grace.” Izzy welcomed and then pulled out a chair for her on one side of the table before leaving to go to Jace to give them privacy, she sent Alec a look to make sure he knew she was close and that he had this and Alec nodded her way.

The Seelie Queen walked past him and sat down on the chair while Alec turned around to take his place on the other side of the table. The others were far away to not hear their conversation but close enough to intervene if something went wrong. For both sides.

“You wanted to speak to me.” Alec spat, his face still obviously showing the hate he felt. The Seelie Queen leant forward on her elbows gracefully and observed the Shadowhunter with her blue eyes carefully. Her ringed fingers with pointy fingernails danced in the air. She smiled.

“I do. Despite what the Nephilim had done to my kind I am willing to seek peace with you; I am not your enemy.” Alec huffed, his lips twitching.

“What we have done to you?”

“As far as I am concerned, you attacked one of my scouts and had him taken into your prison cells for weeks. Another few were harmed when you entered my realm unasked and I heard you have personally harmed one of my dearest guards.” Alec cracked his neck.

“The scout you are referring to attacked us, we were only defending ourselves. He cut my sister. We came into your realm after you kidnapped the High Warlock of Brooklyn, you gave us no choice. And about Meliorn, I am not sorry for what I did.” Alec explained, his voice deep but calm.

“You have no right to keep one of ours. You have no right to hurt them, I wouldn’t have pictured you to go against your precious rules. The Warlock makes you weak.” Alec’s eye twitched while the Seelie lifted her chin, knowing she was right.

“What do you want from Magnus?” Alec asked, all protocols flying out of the window.

“I want to protect him.” Alec tensed even more at that, how dare her.

“Protect him? He needs protection from you.” The Queen lowered her shoulders, her face softening even more and even though she smiled it made Alec shiver.

“We don’t want to harm him.” Alec felt his heartbeat increase. “Magnus is something very special, unique. He needs support, guidance, protection to reach his full potential. I can offer him everything he needs. In return he can help us.”

The Seelie Queen didn’t want to hurt Magnus…she wanted to keep him. She wanted to use him, use his magic. Alec gasped as he realised her plan, he had only assumed they wanted to kill him, but this didn’t make it better, it was just as bad. They would take advantage of him and mold him the way they needed him. Magnus had been used too often in his life; this was not going to happen. Never.

“You can’t just take people as you please, take advantage of them. Magnus has his own will and-“

“Did you tell him about who he is, where he is?” She interrupted, her eyes almost glowing and Alec felt his throat run dry. “Does he believe in your lies?” Alec opened his mouth, but no words came out. He felt his chest tighten and his fingers go sweaty. “Are you not taking advantage of him?” Alec’s body trembled, almost violently so.

“I-“ He gasped and then pressed his lips together, feeling the weight of her words.

“You are no different from us Alec. In fact, you are worse.” She stared at him and Alec felt her eyes bore right into his soul. It wasn’t like she actually cared for any of that, for Magnus or their relationship, she just enjoyed the way the Shadowhunter flinched at her words.

Alec stared at her dumbfounded. She…was right. They had been lying to Magnus all along, everyone of them. Including him. Would he have stayed if he knew, would he have behaved the same if he knew? Would he have gotten close with Alec if he knew? Alec felt his jaw shiver, making his teeth rut against the other until he bit his jaws together.

He was sure that he did nothing to harm Magnus in any way, they had only wanted his best, he had followed orders, Catarina’s orders. But following orders strictly had never really gone well for him and yet he had done just that. He didn’t follow his gut but what he was told to do and it might have been the wrong choice. Maybe Magnus needed to know. But how was he supposed to tell him? How was he supposed to explain this? He was too deep into this already.

“You won’t take him and he will never come to you.” Alec said with determination, grateful that he could form those words at all. The Seelie Queen lifted herself from the chair elegantly, a smirk on her lips as she watched the pale Shadowhunter. She would get her hands on the young and powerful Warlock, one way or another.

“We will see.” She said in an almost cheerful voice and then turned around, strolling back through the corridor of Seelies that followed her right away until they were gone, the Shadowhunters followed her, leaving Jace and Izzy behind. The two walked closer to Alec who looked petrified.

“Alec?” Izzy asked carefully and then put her hand on his shoulder. “Are you okay?”

“Hey buddy…talk to us.” Jace added and leant on the table. Alec blinked his watery eyes and inhaled shakily. “What did she say?”

“They- they want to take Magnus, not to harm him but to use his magic for their purposes.” Alec explained.

“Well, they can’t do that. We will fight for him; they can’t just take him.” Jace said.

Alec’s eyes shifted to Jace and his expression changed. “No, they won’t take him. I will make sure of that.” The Queen definitely didn’t know who she was fighting with. This was a fight she couldn’t win. He would do anything for Magnus, anything it takes, even if it meant he had to kill that manipulative bitch himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dum dum dum...So, what are your thoughts about this meeting? Let me know. Magnus had another first time, he tried his best, I think Alec is more than pleased, don't you? 😏 Thanks for leaving feedback on the last chapter and your kudos! Much love! 😘
> 
> PS. I added pictures to each past chapter of the young Magnus or Alec, showing a certain scene of each chapter. Take a look at them! I wanted to do this for a long time, since I always upload them with my chapter tweet on twitter, but I only just managed to put them on here too. There is a special fiction cover I made in the first chapter and another in the last. Enjoy! 🤗


	35. Chapter 35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Is that my pullover?” He asked amused and Magnus looked down on himself a little startled. Oh shit. He totally forgot what he was wearing. He lifted his gaze again slowly, innocently.
> 
> “No…?” Alec chuckled and pressed his lips together, he took a step closer and sniffed on his neck and shoulder part while Magnus gulped, hoping he wasn’t smelling the sweat that had formed the last seconds. Alec leant back and tilted his head aside with a very illegal smirk. “Okay, fine! It’s yours. Happy?” He groaned and threw his hands up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://ibb.co/Jz0WHqz)   


By the time Magnus was done with the translation and had memorized every line, he felt both excited and utterly exhausted, it had taken him longer than expected and he literally felt the grey hair grow throughout the process. The fact that Chairman at one time decided it was decent to piss on his notes might have added onto it, a little. Dressed in one of Alec’s too big blue pullovers and grey leggings, a pen tugged behind his ear, he jumped off the chair with the paper in hand.

“I did it. I did it!” He cheered and then shoved the paper into the cat’s face who looked rather unimpressed. “Well, you try to translate ancient spell books next time.” He snapped and then turned away a little annoyed, before leaving the room, his pace quickening with every step until he almost ran, he couldn’t wait to show Clary that he managed and try it out with her, he passed the ops center, about to rush into the cafeteria when he heard a voice call his name.

Magnus snapped his head around, halting immediately until he found Alec standing near the computer table in a full dark grey suit that fitted him like a second skin, Izzy standing beside him. Magnus swung his body around and then sauntered closer while Alec closed the distance himself until they met in the middle of the room. Alec’s eyes ran down his body and back up.

“Is that my pullover?” He asked amused and Magnus looked down on himself a little startled. Oh shit. He totally forgot what he was wearing. He lifted his gaze again slowly, innocently.

“No…?” Alec chuckled and pressed his lips together, he took a step closer and sniffed on his neck and shoulder part while Magnus gulped, hoping he wasn’t smelling the sweat that had formed the last seconds. Alec leant back and tilted his head aside with a very illegal smirk. “Okay, fine! It’s yours. Happy?” He groaned and threw his hands up.

“I am.” Alec said with what sounded like, pride? And straightened himself, his hands behind his back. “You look good in it.” Alec added, knowing perfectly well what he was doing to Magnus right now.

“You do look…very suit, good, very good, in suit, too.” Magnus stuttered and widened his eyes as he heard his barf of words and Alec laughed, a full belly laugh, his head tilted back and Magnus couldn’t help but giggle along, cursing himself and Alec internally though. He pinched Alec in his white button down shirt, right into the stomach and watched Alec flinch. “You have no shame.”

“And you are cute.” Alec said licking his upper lip in a very sensual way, oh how dare him flatter him when he was angry. “What is that?” Alec asked, gesturing his head to the paper in Magnus hand. Magnus had already forgotten he still held it.

“It’s a translation, of the Book of the White. Most is in Greek which is easy to translate but this piece of work was in some very old, demonic language, it took me hours to translate, whoever scribbled that in there may rot in hell.”

“What is it about?” Alec asked, curiously and tried to take a peek. Magnus opened his mouth and closed it again, not really knowing if he should say it. Alec was overly protective and might not like the idea of Magnus doing portals, but then again Magnus wanted to trust Alec and wanted them to be honest with each other. He knew the risks, when he gave him the book, it was fine.

“Portals.” He said, searching Alec’s eyes for any sign of discomfort and they did, he could see the little twitch of his eyes that most would have overseen.

“Portals.” Alec parrots, his voice slightly tense. Magnus could see the fight behind his eyes, like he wanted to say something but decided against it. Instead he exhaled quietly and then nodded before a smile grew on his lips. “Good. You should learn how to do them.”

“I will try my best.” Magnus answered and realised that both weren’t so keen on discussing this topic any further.

“Actually, I wanted to talk to you, but I got distracted-“ He began and send him another knee shivering smile.

“You are the only one to blame Alexander, you may just keep your eyes on my face next time.” Magnus interrupted with a scrunch of his nose.

“You know I can’t do that.” He answered honestly. “I have to leave for Idris today. An emergency meeting, Izzy will accompany me.” Magnus felt his lower lip dip and quickly pushed his lips back together, trying not to look as disappointed as he felt.

“Why?” Magnus asked, wanting to smack himself in the face right after. Such a stupid question, because he is the Head of the Institute maybe?

“It’s about the Seelies mainly. We came to some sort of agreement.”

“Yes, she was here earlier, I have locked myself as you wished, I didn’t mean to pry so I didn’t ask about it yet. How did it go?” Alec shifted on his spot.

“Okay-ish. I guess.” His eyes roamed the room for a moment and then landed back on him. “It’s still tense.” Magnus nodded, understanding. “Thank you for staying safe.” Magnus nodded again, this time slow and with a smile.

“When will you be back?” He tried not to sound desperate and failed miserably.

“2 days I think. I have other stuff to handle too and will do it all in one go when I am already there.” Magnus fought against the urge to groan and roll his eyes. “I have to leave very soon, in about 10 minutes.” Magnus groaned, not in the mood to hide it anymore. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay Alexander, I just wish you would stay, but I know it’s your job, I understand believe me.” Alec reached forward and Magnus thought he was going to cup his cheek for a second when Alec pulled the pen from his ear, Magnus blushed, yes, he forgot that one too. He snatched the pen from his hands.

“I will miss you.” Alec whispered and Magnus looked back up from below his eyelashes.

“I will miss you too.” He whispered back, tilting his head up, feeling the need to kiss him goodbye. Alec's eyes flickered down to his lips and back up and he then stepped back and Magnus felt like he was ripping his heart out while retreating. He pursed his lips, feeling his head tremble with a mix of frustration and anger. What was so wrong about kissing him in public? Not even a hug? Alec turned and left to go back to Izzy, leaving a dumbfounded Magnus behind.

The guy had no shame shoving his dick into his mouth but giving him a hug in public was too much apparently. He might be a little over dramatic here but he felt like he had every right to be. He looked aside, seeing Izzy and Alec leaving for what he thought was Alec’s office and Alec threw him another look, a loving and affectionate smile and a little wave of his hand. Magnus felt himself waving back instantly and then he was gone. Magnus inhaled deeply and out shakily. Fuck, he was already missing him.

Magnus sat down at lunch with a groan and both Clary and Jace looked up as they were interrupted in their conversation. Magnus forked the potato and shoved it into his mouth before he put it back down with a bit too much force. His nostrils flaring.

“What happened to you?” Clary asked and Magnus sent her a glance that made her shiver. “Sorry I asked?” He rolled his eyes, annoyed with himself.

“It’s just. I’m sorry. My mood isn’t the best right now.”

“Alec?” Jace asked and Magnus looked up at the Shadowhunter on the other side, Clary did too. “He went to Idris with Izzy.” Jace explained and Clary gasped, her face turning soft. Magnus shifted on his chair, a little embarrassed that they knew and he was acting like this. “Do you want to spar?” Jace asked, offering distraction. Magnus gave him the best smile he could muster, which was nothing more than a twitch.

“No, thank you. I have other plans, I need you.” He said, pointing a finger at Clary who mouthed a ‘moi?’ his way and Magnus nodded. “I need to try something and could need your help.” Clary nodded eagerly.

“Of course, anytime.” Clary chirped and Jace narrowed his eyes at them both and wondered if he should ask but then shrugged. They ate in comfortable silence and then got up and left the cafeteria and a confused Jace behind.

Magnus and Clary walked through the halls until they were in the training room where he shut the doors. “What is this about? What do you want to try?” She sounded curious and rubbed her palms together.

“Portals.” Magnus said, a little smirk on his lips. Clary opened her mouth in surprise.

“You finally know how to do them?” Magnus lifted a finger and shook his head.

“Unfortunately, not…yet. But I have this!” He said proudly, shoving the paper into her petite hands. Clary quickly unfolded it and read it. “It’s some kind of manual, I think I can actually try it with this.”

“And is it safe?” She asked a little concerned while placing her big green eyes on his face, the last thing she wanted was to get him into another situation. Magnus shrugged.

“I think so. I don’t know. Let’s try!” He cracked his neck and crossed his fingers, stretching them forward before he shook his hands a few times to relax them.

Magnus stood in the middle of the room and spread his fingers, palms up, closed his eyes and concentrated before a swirl of white magic danced through his fingers. He breathed slow and deep and then circled his arms in opposite directions, palms stretched forward, a little transparent shimmer appeared 3 feet in front of him and Magnus opened his eyes before it disappeared again. He let his arms fall to his sides and groaned.

“Try again! That was great.” Clary quickly encouraged him and stood beside him, giving him silent support with a smile. He licked his lips and then repeated the whole procedure. The transparent shimmer grew before his eyes until it looked like an oval wall mirror and Magnus felt the tension in his hands that his magic created, it was some kind of pressure, not painful but not all too pleasant either, white magic rushed out of his palms. The mirror grew more with every second until it zipped close again and Magnus threw his head back, cursing in Indonesian.

“You can do this, Magnus.” She said and placed her hand on his shoulder, squeezing him lightly. “I believe in you.”

“My magic, it’s…”

“No, listen. Your magic is capable of doing this, I know it. You got to have faith in it. You are so powerful Magnus you just have to see that.” Magnus looked aside and looked into her shimmering eyes that were filled with nothing but devotion and support. That girl really was something else, she was probably the nicest out of all of them, not that the others were unkind but she always showed him how much he is worth, how strong he is, she supported him despite anything and stood by his side, never questioning anything he did. Not judging. She was wonderful.

He gave her a sincere smile, which she returned and he then repeated his former movements. His whole body tensed and he felt the adrenaline in his veins. The mirror grew again, inch by inch, until it was the size of a human and suddenly it began to glow, a blueish glow surrounding it. Magnus felt the tension in his fingers subside and then straightened himself while he lowered his hands.

“Magnus…this is a portal.” Magnus stared ahead, watching the glowing thing he created like he just had a baby. It felt like it. He felt pride and love and damn, he could cry.

“I did.” Suddenly the portal flickered. “What-?” He gasped and the portal vanished. “No!” He darted forward like he wanted to grab it but it was already gone. “I had it! I…” Clary went to his side and grabbed his arm carefully.

“Yes, you did, Magnus! It’s just not strong enough yet to last long. It will get better in time the more you try it.” Magnus blinked his eyes and shouldn’t feel as awful as he did right now. She was probably right. He nodded weakly. “But not now, you look exhausted.” And yes, he felt drained. Doing portals obviously took quite some energy to do. He hadn’t expected that.

“You are right. Thank you, Biscuit.” Clary swung her arms around him and hugged him tight. He held onto her, his chin on her shoulder, sniffing her sweet scented hair. “Thank you for always being there for me and your support, I am grateful I have met you.” He whispered and Clary clasped his pullover.

“I am too Magnus.” She whispered back and then stroked his back gently.

“I think Alec is ashamed of me.” Magnus mumbled and Clary quickly backed off, holding him by his thick biceps to look into his eyes, pure confusion in her own.

“What? No, never! Why do you think that?” She shook her head like he just said the most ridiculous thing ever.

“I don’t know.” He said shrugging. “He never kisses or hugs me in public. We just said goodbye and he nodded. He fucking nodded, like I was some stranger.” He groaned, feeling a little whiny, he would be embarrassed of his own behaviour if it wasn’t Clary in front of him, she always understood. “He leaves for two days and all I get is-“ He stopped as his voice broke, he rolled his eyes at his own behaviour.

“Oh no Magnus, Alec would never be ashamed of you. I am 100% sure of that. Never! Quite the contrary, he loves to talk about you and I am sure you are all he thinks about too.” She tried to soothe him, stroking his arms.

“That is sweet of you to say, but I am not so sure about this. I asked him, well I tried to ask him about what we are to each other, I wanted to know what he sees in me, what I am to him and he ignored it…like he didn’t hear me, or didn’t want to hear me.” Magnus couldn’t hide the hurt in his voice and Clary noticed immediately. “I think he doesn’t want to be with me, not officially.”

Clary’s face softened, her face showing some kind of pity. “I know Alec for some time now and one thing I know is that he doesn’t always think when he is around you, which is actually hard to manage with Alec thinkalot Lightwood, so you should feel proud about that. But I am so very sure that he misunderstood the question, he would never ignore this.” Magnus pursed his lips aside. Maybe she was right, it was very unlike Alec to ignore it. Maybe he didn’t really get the point. It was cute to hear that it was known that Alec wasn’t properly working around him.

“Then what about the moment earlier, why wouldn’t he even give me a simple hug? Do you have an explanation for that?”

“Hm…” Clary gasped and put her pointer finger to her lips. Her face suddenly lit up and her eyes widened comically. “Wait! Jace said he left with Izzy! Was she with you when you said goodbye?” Magnus furrowed his brow.

“Yes, she was, she couldn’t hear us but she waited for Alec.” Magnus said and then felt his features relax as it dawned on him. He did it because of Izzy. Of course. That explained it. Urgh, why didn’t he think of this earlier. “Why doesn’t she like me being with Alec?” Clary sucked her lower lip in, nibbling it a little unsure.

“She is just very protective and doesn’t want Alec to get hurt.” Magnus gasped at that.

“I would never hurt Alec! Never.” He barked, feeling slightly offended. Not only slightly. Why would Izzy think that?

“I know! It’s- hm…it’s complicated.” She gasped.

“Maybe I can talk to her, make her understand. Show her how much her brother means to me and that I would never do anything to hurt him.” He said honestly, nodding to himself and Clary smiled lovingly. “Thank you, biscuit.” He gave her another hug and they then parted, heading separate ways. Magnus brushed his hand over the nape of his neck, it was slightly sweaty and he felt the exhaustion in his bones, he felt extremely drained. He should take a nap. Yes.

\---

A wild cough stirred him awake a few hours later, it was pitch dark and Magnus sat up, coughing his lungs out before he wiped his mouth, realising that his nose was shut, his eyes were watery and why was he wet? He shoved the damp covers aside and realised that he was sweating heavily. What the…What was going on? He got off the bed and stood, wavering until he sat again. He felt weak and limp, his whole body ached. His head thrummed and his throat felt like someone was sewing on it.

He took his phone with shaky hands and looked at the time, 10pm. He hovered his finger over Alec’s name when he remembered that he couldn’t reach him right now. He gulped and hissed to the pain flooding his throat. A stray tear escaped his eyes and he wiped it away, he wasn’t crying his eyes just seemed to leak. He didn’t know what was going on but he was pretty sure he was actually dying.

“Chairman?” He asked and heard his voice raspy and thick, it hurt to speak. The cat came closer, looked at him curiously and then hid below the bed. Thanks. He dialled Clary’s number with trembling fingers and waited for her to pick up when a male voice appeared on the other end.

“What’s up? Clary’s asleep.” Jace said in a sleepy voice and Magnus breathed into the phone a few times, gathering the courage to speak through the pain. “Magnus, you okay?” – “Something is wrong.” – “Where are you?” Jace tone shifted into concern and Magnus coughed violently. “Room.” The call ended and Magnus let himself flop back onto the bed, his whole body trembling.

Magnus heard the door open a few moments later and saw a shadow come closer before hands grabbed his cheeks, pulling his face aside. “Hey, Magnus?!” He focused his eyes and saw Jace hover over him, his hair hanging down, he was in his pyjamas already, a simple white shirt and loose pants, barefoot. Magnus blinked his eyes a few times and then tried to straighten himself, but his body wouldn’t comply. “What happened?” He asked and sat down on the bed, reaching behind Magnus back to steady him. “God, you are completely soaked.” Jace said while grimacing.

“I’m dying Jace.” Magnus whined and Jace pressed his palm against Magnus clammy forehead.

“No, you have fever and a cold from the looks of it.” Magnus shook his head, his eyes half closed.

“I don’t get sick.” He mumbled before a violent shiver rocked his whole body.

“Yeah, right. And I have not just read Clary’s diary in bed.” Jace got up and walked around the room, which Magnus barely realised until the man shoved some toilet paper into his hands. “For your nose.” Magnus lifted his chin, feeling something rise in his body, a tingling sensation before he sneezed loudly and looked horrified at what just happened.

“Urgh.” Jace almost gagged and then went to his side and helped him clean the snot off his face that was catapulted outside. “Blow.” He said and helped him blow his nose reluctantly as he realised Magnus had never done these things. “Did you never have a cold before?”

“I don’t have a cold, I am-“

“Dying, yeah. I know.” Jace interrupted and then roamed the room some more. He put some clothes onto the bed.

“Strip.” Jace commanded and Magnus looked aside and up slowly.

“What?”

“Take your clothes off.” Jace gestured to his body and Magnus blinked a few times, trying to understand what was happening.

“I’m not-“

“They are soaked, you need to take them off.” Jace explained and Magnus exhaled shakily as he understood, peeled himself off his shirt and Jace grimaced again. “Oh man you stink.” Magnus made a pitiful face and Jace hauled him off the bed. “Come on, shower time. I can’t believe I’m doing this.” He dragged the Warlock into the bathroom who followed as slow as a slug.

Magnus leant on the sink and then lifted his head, shrieking at the vision he saw. His nose, lips and eyes looked swollen, the nose red, one of his eyes was sloping. “Jace. I am…defaced.” Jace turned the water stream in the shower on, making sure it was warm, then looked back at Magnus with a frown.

“Please, tell Alec that-“ Magnus rasped and Jace groaned loudly and then went to Magnus to help him undress.

“You tell him yourself, alright. Don’t be overdramatic.” He stripped him off his clothes. Magnus would feel ashamed if he could actually feel anything but pain right now.

“It’s cold.” Magnus stuttered and tried to hide his parts and Jace snorted, shovelling the Warlock into the shower cabin. Magnus trembled as the water hit him and clutched his arms around his shivering body. “Come on, I am not going to wash you. You gotta help me some here.” Magnus reached for the shower gel with shaky hands and then cleaned himself while Jace waited outside, humming.

He stopped the water a few minutes and a few sneezes later and went outside and was immediately enveloped by a warm, big towel when Jace rubbed him dry. “You can do the rest.” He said as he reached his lower region and then left the bathroom, while Magnus dried his parts and legs with aching limbs. He put the towel aside and then shivered his way back into the room; Jace instantly helped him dress into fresh boxers, pants and a shirt and then pushed him to the bed. “Chop chop, into bed with you.” Magnus lay down and pulled the sheets to his chin.

Another loud sneeze escaped his lungs and he let out a few pitiful whines after. Jace phone rang and he picked up. “Hey babe. Yeah…No, yes, I am with Magnus, he is sick. Yeah, I don’t know, he looks horrible.” Jace whispered the last part but Magnus heard him clearly. “No, I will stay here tonight, to make sure. Sleep tight baby.” He put his phone on the nightstand and then went to the other side of the bed before he got into it. Magnus felt the bed dip and then turned onto his back.

“You don’t-“ He inhaled deeply and sneezed again followed by a messy cough. “Have to stay.”

“I wish I would not have to, believe me. But Alec is not here to take care of you. So, you are my responsibility now.” Magnus looked aside with his puffy eyes.

“Thank you Jace.”

Jace huffed. “You don’t have to thank me. Sleep now okay, you have to rest to get better.”

“I am not-“

“Shush. Good Night.” Magnus mumbled a good night and closed his eyes. He actually felt better knowing he wasn’t going to be alone tonight, even though he wouldn’t admit it. He hadn’t believed Jace would do something like this and help him so selflessly, but it was heart-warming to know. Even though he wasn’t sick. This was just the aftermath of his drained magic.

He awoke again a few times this night, either by a coughing fit, or by a running nose, a loud sneeze or headaches, Jace sometimes mumbled something to him to make him fall back asleep or would bring him a glass of water. The night was short for both of them.

\---

“Hey, I wanted to surprise-“ Alec said after the video chat opened and then halted as he saw Jace groggy face before him, with heavy eyebags. He squinted and observed him carefully. Jace fought his heavy eyelids open and blinked a few times. “Jace?”

“Yeah? Hey…good morning.” Jace said hoarsely and Alec’s face turned into a heavy frown.

“Why do you have Magnus’ phone?” Jace scrunched his nose, not really in the here and now yet.

“Thought it was mine.” He slurred and Alec observed Jace surroundings.

“Are you in my bedroom?” Jace looked around himself and then narrowed the sight to his face only.

“Nope.”

“Jace. I can see my pillows. Where is Magnus? Have you been drinking?” Jace huffed.

“No, I haven’t, the night was just very rough, okay? We didn’t do much sleeping. I will call you later alright.”

“Jace!” The call ended and Jace threw the phone aside before melting back into the bed.

Magnus pulled his sticky eyes open and instantly felt the pain of his head and throat hitting him; he groaned while his voice broke. It was still there, whatever it was. He looked aside and jerked for a moment as he saw Jace sleeping face next to his, mouth wide open. Was that drool? Oh yes, Jace slept with him last night, he forgot. He hauled his body up to sit and then saw his phone by Jace feet. He stretched to grab it and then let himself fall back.

5 missed calls from Alexander. Oh. He was so beside himself he didn’t notice. He saw the number of notifications in his messenger and gasped as he opened it to read.

[Alec Lightwood – 7:03am] Jace, you call me back right now.  
[Alec Lightwood – 7:04am] How dare you just hang up.  
[Alec Lightwood – 7:04am] Jace! Take the damn phone.  
[Alec Lightwood – 7:05am] I’m going to kill you.  
[Alec Lightwood – 7:06am] Jace, please. I need to speak to Magnus.  
[Alec Lightwood – 7:08am] That’s it. We are done. You hear me? Done.

Magnus frowned at the messages and then looked at the back of his phone. Yes, this was his phone. Weird. He sniffled and swallowed the pain down before answering.

[Magnus Bane – 9:12am] Hey Alexander, what happened? Were those messages meant for Jace? I am confused, please message me back whenever you can.

[Alec Lightwood – 9:13am] Magnus! Is this you? I can’t call you right now. I wanted to surprise you earlier but Jace picked up. He was in our bed and it looked like you slept there together?

[Magnus Bane – 9:15am] Yes, it’s me. I am sorry for that, I felt awful, I don’t know what it is, Jace said I have a cold but I think he’s speaking nonsense, I used a lot of magic yesterday and I think my body was reacting to it. Jace kept me company. I hope that is not a problem.

[Alec Lightwood – 9:18am] You have a cold? How is that possible? No, it’s okay, I am glad he took care of you. I feel better knowing you are not alone. I wish I could be there for you. Why did you use so much magic? What happened?

[Magnus Bane – 9:20am] I will tell you when you are back, my eyes hurt from staring at this device. Take care Alexander, I miss you. Greet Izzy from me, I hope she feels better.

[Alec Lightwood – 9:21am] Ok. Yes, she is better, I packed her some stuff, thank you for being so nice to her the other day, she told me about it. I miss you too Magnus, a lot. Stay safe. Ps. Please tell Jace that I am sorry.

Magnus put the phone aside, a warm, fuzzy feeling in his chest. Talking to Alexander made him feel better within seconds, but as fast as the feeling had come it subsided again and the pain returned mercilessly. Jace yawned beside him and then opened his eyes.

“You okay?” Jace asked as he saw Magnus wipe away a tear.

“Yeah…Jace?” Magnus whispered, looking aside and Jace shifted next to him.

“What?”

“I am sick.” Magnus murmured.

“No! Really? Shocker.” Jace got up with a laugh, then put some more tissues on Magnus nightstand, refilled his glass with water and then patted to the door. “Call me, if something’s off.” He offered and then closed the door behind himself. Magnus growled and turned himself around to lay on his stomach, his face pressed into the pillow. He sighed loudly and then closed his eyes again, not in the mood to do anything at all at the moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Magnus made his first portal and had his first cold! Boy! What a ride 😂 Jace being there for Magnus and helping, how about that? We knew he was a sweetie deep down right 😎 Let me know what you think! Thanks so much for the comments and kudos on the last chapter! 😘


	36. Chapter 36

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What are you doing here?”
> 
> “Eating?” Magnus said in his most sarcastic tone, what kind of question was this.
> 
> “No, I mean in the Institute. You don’t belong here and if I remember correctly, I already told you that.” He spat and Magnus groaned, rolling his eyes a little dramatically.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little warning, this is a tough one, if you are not into reading whump, please skip the first scene all together and start at the second, you will still understand what has happened. To all others, enjoy this long angsty chapter.
> 
> [](https://ibb.co/9YGF92G)  


Magnus spent the rest of the day and the next nearly completely in bed, feeling awful, sweaty and sore. He was dressed in Alec’s shirt and pants that hang way too low on him but he needed his smell to feel better. Jace stayed with him the past night too to make sure he was okay and occasionally brought him food, made him go to the bathroom to pee and shower, opened the windows, changed the bedsheets. He hadn’t heard from Alec at all, unfortunately. But he knew that the Shadowhunter was busy. He felt awful, it was sweaty, it hurt, how could people go through this regularly, those poor beings.

When he awoke again, he felt his head a bit clearer, not as foggy as before, he shifted and grabbed his phone. It was 3pm. He lifted his heavy body and slid off the bed and slurped to the bathroom like a zombie. He quickly showered and brushed his teeth when he heard his stomach growl. Oh yeah, he forgot to eat again. He went to dress himself and ran his hands through his hair. He felt better actually. His nose wasn’t running as much, his throat wasn’t as sore. As quick and hard as it had come it seemed to leave just as quick, fortunately. It all seemed a little dull still though and his magic did weird things, deciding to stay or leave at its own will.

He hadn’t seen or really talked to Alec in 2 days and it felt like ages, he missed his voice, his beautiful eyes, the smile on his lips, his rough hands, the warmth of his body, just everything. Having Jace over the past days was nice, he didn’t like being alone but it was nothing compared to Alec’s presence. Not even a little close. He was comfortable and relaxed when he was around. He missed to kiss him, hold him, listen to his jerky breaths when he got aroused. Magnus closed his eyes and fantasized about all those things.

He was still fantasizing about them when he sat in the empty cafeteria, a bowl of chicken soup that Eva had made him since he missed lunch. He had told her about his cold and how awful he felt, maybe he was a bit whiny yes, but he had never experienced something like that before and it shook him to the core.

He slurped on his soup while imagining Alec’s hands on his cheeks, his throat, his chest, his waist, his cock. It twitched in his pants and Magnus let his left hand drop to his crotch below the table, pinching at the fabric that seemed a little tight now. He hummed and let his eyes gaze over the cafeteria for a moment before he spread his fingers and palmed himself. He was alone so who would judge him.

God he was so horny, why was he so horny? He had gotten more sexual activities the past weeks than his whole life before, at least it felt like it, but it seemed the more they did the more he craved for him. And he smelled so damn fine and tasted divine. He leant his forehead into his free hand, shielding himself slightly and then put some more pressure into his ministrations. Rubbing and massaging his clothed erection. He gasped below his breath, wishing Alec would just come back now.

He nearly jumped out of his skin the moment someone sat in front of him and threw his hands up though he didn’t expect that sight to be honest. He huffed rather annoyed, not at all in the mood for this right now as he saw Raj sitting across from him with a creepy smile on his lips, he leant on his arms on the table and observed Magnus, who crossed his legs below the table.

“What are you doing here?”

“Eating?” Magnus said in his most sarcastic tone, what kind of question was this.

“No, I mean in the Institute. You don’t belong here and if I remember correctly, I already told you that.” He spat and Magnus groaned, rolling his eyes a little dramatically.

“Are we not past this by now? Look, I won’t disturb you, I will not be a burden to you, just-“

“You are a burden to me. A fucking huge burden and I gave you a chance to leave. You should have taken it.” He threatened and Magnus tensed his body, feeling the anger boil up, but tried to keep himself calm as good as possible. Why was he always having these childish conversations with that Shadowhunter, didn’t he learn from their last encounter? Magnus got up from the table with a squeaking noise of the stool and took the tray in his hands.

“Have a good day Raj.” He nodded not unkindly and then turned to get rid of his tray when he noticed two Shadowhunters at the end of the Cafeteria, blocking the way. They looked awfully familiar, oh right. It was them, the two Shadowhunters Alec had allowed back in after they had bullied Magnus a few weeks ago. The ones that got a second chance. Magnus eyed both men and then looked back at Raj, seeing him smirk.

In a very clear headed moment, Magnus realised that they weren’t here to talk.

He went through all the different scenarios, hoping he didn’t need to hurt them and make a mess out of the Cafeteria, hoping they would stay calm and not move their limbs. Magnus returned his eyes to the boys, giving them a challenging look not to fucking dare do anything stupid. He closed the distance to them and put his tray down, standing in the wide threshold.

“Gentlemen.” He said, not even flinching at the disgust visible on their faces. “Will you let me pass?” Magnus heard another squeaking noise and footsteps coming closer, feeling his heartbeat speed up. They didn’t move and Magnus felt a breath on the nape of his neck, he quickly turned around and straightened himself, using his height for his own advantage. He looked down at the slightly smaller man that stood right in front of him with an angry sparkle in his eyes.

“I won’t leave, no matter what you do, not until Alec tells me to.” Magnus said firmly and lifted his chin, Raj’s face was emotionless. Even though he was rather calm and didn’t really feel threatened by them he knew he was stronger, he still felt like a caged animal and that is probably how they wanted him to feel, so he decided not to show it. He heard steps again and knew the boys were coming closer, even though he didn’t mean to show emotions, red magic instinctively surged through his body and danced around his fingertips.

“What do you wanna do? Shoot me with your magic again? Right, I forgot you are a demon, that is what you do.” Magnus felt his breath hitch, feeling slightly caught but also hurt. He let his magic subside again.

“I don’t want to hurt you. Let us resolve this like adults.” Magnus suggested lifting his hand that Raj slapped away.

“Nobody attacks me and gets away with it Warlock. I told you, you would regret this.” He said with poison in his voice and Magnus clenched his jaws. Well, so be it. If they wanted it to go down this way, they shall have it.

Magnus took a step aside and faced all three of them before sending the magic back towards his palms and stretched his arms forward when the magic suddenly flickered and vanished. Startled, Magnus turned his palms around and stared at his empty hands. What-? He snapped his wrists, shaking his fingers and then pushed his magic back into his hands to watch it appear, glow and vanish once more. He looked up at the three men in shock, as he realised his cold must still affect his magic. Why does this have to happen fucking now.

The three men shared a look. “Guess we don’t need them after all.” One said and pushed the magic dampening cuffs back into his pocket before they darted towards the defenceless Warlock, Magnus felt their hands on his arms, back and chest and was pushed to the ground by his shoulders to kneel, he was complying even though he felt the urge to flee, he knew he had no chance against three Shadowhunters without his magic and he didn’t yet know what they actually wanted. He told himself to stay calm, hoping for the best.

All hopes for the best flew out of the window as his head was pulled back forcefully with a tight grip in his hair, he hissed at the painful stretch of his neck and looked up at Raj reluctantly. Raj didn’t even hide the smirk on his face, it was obvious they had all of this planned out and he had run into their trap. He gulped heavily and forced himself to stay polite.

“Raj, I am sorry for whatever I did to offend you, it was never my intention to hurt anyone, I was-“ Magnus tried to explain, hoping that the man would be reasonable when a hard punch landed on his cheek, throwing his face aside with such a force that he blacked out for a moment. He felt his cheekbone throb painfully and clenched his eyes shut; he opened them again and returned his eyes to Raj with slitted pupils, a dangerous golden glow around them.

“Yes, show me your true nature Warlock. No need to pretend, we all know what you are.” Magnus didn’t even try to force his eyes back down, he didn’t try to force his anger back down, he had enough of this shit show now.

“You let me go right now Shadowhunters.” Magnus growled and Raj flinched for a second before he laughed loud and fake.

“Or what? What do you want to do? Knock us all out? With what? Your words?” He teased and smiled down at him, coming a bit closer and then stumbled back the moment something wet hit his face. He wiped it off with disgust in his features. “What the- did you just spit at me?” Magnus narrowed his eyes.

Raj closed the distance again and slapped his face again with the back of his hand at the same spot as before, causing the bruise to split open and bleed down his cheek. Magnus shook his head with a shudder as he felt the pain rush through his whole body and then placed his eyes back on Raj, his face emotionless. He couldn’t deny that he had expected that hit coming, but it still felt good to see the disgust on Raj’s face.

“You know what they say about men with big egos.” Magnus said with a creepy calmness in his tone. Raj’s face fell again; Magnus noticed he was easily startled, he easily lost his temper, he knew how to get him, he had to irritate him until he slipped up. Raj clenched his jaw and looked up at the other two guys who still held Magnus down with all their force, as if he couldn’t believe Magnus was still teasing him even though he was in such a position. He thought he would break more easily.

“If you don’t shut your mouth right fucking now, I will let you be the judge of that.” Raj shouted and then grimaced. “I know what you did in Alec’s office and what you probably do every night up there. You are disgusting.” Magnus’s face hardened as he realised what Raj was talking about. The unfortunate moment he had met Raj in the corridor with cum on his face. “Not even denying it, are you?”

“Are you jealous?” Magnus’s eyes flickered challenging, even though he logically knew he should probably keep his mouth shut, his anger was just boiling too far up at the surface, he wouldn’t let them humiliate him, not little Shadowhunters like them. He was a century old, powerful Warlock after all. He heard someone snicker behind him and Raj shot his head up at the other man who immediately stopped.

Raj suddenly reached forward and grabbed Magnus’s chin roughly, staring down at him, his lips and back up to his eyes. “You filthy little bitch. Maybe, that is the reason why he keeps you here after all.” Magnus jerked his head away and out of his grip, his nostrils flaring with anger. “I bet you even like it.” He whispered and Magnus clenched his jaw so hard that it hurt. “Keep him still.” Raj commanded and the guys forced Magnus body to still, while they pulled his head back some more causing another hiss from Magnus.

“What are you doing?” One of them asked and Raj cracked his neck and then reached down.

“I will teach him a lesson; in a way he understands.” Magnus eyes shot down the second he heard a zipper opening, feeling a cold sweat form on his neck. What the-? What? His mind blanked as he realised what Raj was going to do and felt like hyperventilating, his breath suddenly caught in his throat as he lost every little calmness inside his body. He rocked backwards, trying to startle the men and then pushed his head forward forcefully, loosening the grip on his hair before he jumped up, shoved Raj against the wall and ran down the empty corridor as fast as he could.

He didn’t know where he was running actually, he couldn’t focus, his vision seemed blurred from the adrenaline in his body, he slammed against walls and darted around corners, trying to get away from them. There was nobody around, the Institute was completely empty. He suddenly saw the corridor leading to Alec’s office and rushed towards it.

“Alexander!” He yelled from deep within his lungs and then swung the heavy door open before his eyes landed on the empty office, he inhaled sharply as he remembered that Alec was in Idris and felt his heart throb. No. No!

He looked back and saw the guys darting around the corner and quickly ran the other way before he felt a pressure tightening around his ankle, his right leg being pulled backwards which made him lose his balance instantly, he fell forward and onto the hard concrete floor. He clawed the ground as his body was dragged over the floor, trying to get a hold on anything but then already felt hands grab his legs and waist, pulling him up by his mid and carrying him. He squirmed and bucked in their arms, moving his body and limps in an attempt to get out of their grip, but they must have activated their runes.

He was thrown into a pitch black room and landed on the ground with a loud thud, immediately jumping up and running back to the lit door opening. “Jace! Jace!!” He shouted, hoping the Shadowhunter was close by, why was nobody around? The boys pushed Magnus back on the ground forcefully and closed the door. Magnus landed on his butt.

Raj flipped the light on and Magnus squinted his eyes for a second as the bright yellowish light irritated his eyes. “They are not here Warlock; they were called to a very important mission. An emergency, you know?” Raj laughed and nodded to the boys who grinned back at him and then closed the distance. Magnus looked around himself, realising he was in some kind of storage room with big, overloaded shelves. He scanned the whole room, but there was only one way out, the door behind the three men.

Was that the truth? Was everyone away? Was he really all alone right now? There was no way this could be a coincidence. This was all planned, he realised once more.

“Let me go.” Magnus growled while getting up and the men laughed at him. Magnus scrunched his nose in a nervous habit and then snapped his fingers, he felt the familiar tingle of magic in his palms but that was about it. He sighed, his shoulders slumping for a moment, before he dropped into a fighting stance. He wouldn’t go down without a fight, that was sure. Even though he didn’t quite feel as fit as he usually was.

The guys rushed towards him almost simultaneously and Magnus blocked every blow and kick that came his way with the last strength he could gather, he turned, ducked and jumped, having the advantage of speed on his side until his body wasn’t complying anymore, his muscles rippling from the effort, he received a blow right into the abdomen and jolted forward, coughing loudly before another hit crashed down on his back, causing him to fall down to the ground, he lay flat on the ground before he pushed himself on all fours when another kick hit his side and made him swirl around and on his back, it took him a few moments to breathe through the pain and then pushed himself up to sit, knowing he had to concentrate, he had to hold on.

The guys looked exhausted, their chests heaving while they walked closer to Magnus who leant back on his stretched out arms and crawled backwards until he felt something hit his back, he turned to see the wall and looked ahead again, when Raj’s heel hit his jaw and threw him aside. He kept laying on his side for a moment, feeling nauseous, his jaw was throbbing and felt out of place, he tasted iron in his mouth, it dropped off his lips and onto the ground.

He didn’t even fight them when they slithered him down the ground and back into the room by his feet until he lay on his back again. His body was trembling from the pain and exhaustion that roamed through his veins. The guys pinned his arms above his head and his legs down to the ground while Raj stood above him, kneeling down. He took his jaw between his palm and Magnus felt tears gather on the edges of his eyes, caused by the motion. He observed the jaw and then groaned, releasing him.

“Well, he brought this upon himself. He shouldn’t have run away. This will only hurt more now.” He spat and then opened his belt and zipper.

“Raj, this is too much.” The other guy above his head said and Magnus felt the grip of his hands slightly loosening. “You broke his jaw.” Raj groaned loudly and then snatched a dagger out of his holster and held it up against the guy’s throat who sucked in a sharp breath, staring down at the threatening dagger. Magnus followed the scene with his eyes silently.

“If you are not with me, you are against me, in that case, get the fuck out and never return.” Raj threatened and the guy gulped.

“Ben, keep your fucking mouth shut. He deserves this, from all we know he even enjoys this.” The guy at his legs now rose his voice. The guy at his arms nodded and then tightened his grip on Magnus, a little reluctantly.

“What if he tells Alec? He will kill us.” He whispered once Raj put his dagger back, hoping he wouldn’t have it at his throat again.

“He won’t. Magnus will keep his little, dirty mouth shut.” Raj said looking down at Magnus pained Warlock eyes. “Otherwise I will inform the Clave about what he did to the Seelie knight, they will strip him off his title, off his runes, banish him.” Raj threatened, staring Magnus right in the eyes. “You don’t want that, do you?”

Magnus felt his body shiver, his heart pound against his ribcage as he listened to his words. Alec would lose everything he loved, everything he had worked so hard for, he would be devastated. Magnus felt his chin begin to tremble as he realised, he doesn’t want that.

“Now, be a good Warlock bitch and open your mouth.” Magnus clenched his watery eyes shut and shook his head. “Open. Your. Mouth.” Magnus felt his chin tremble and his teeth rutting together and tried to think about something else, about Alec, about the fact he would lose all he ever worked for. He parted his lips reluctantly, fighting against his instinctual urge to press his mouth shut and whined at the pain that shot through his body at the motion.

“What the fuck?” A light suddenly filled the room and Magnus shot his eyes back open. “Get off of him!” someone shouted and Magnus saw Raj being pulled away with force, the other guys loosened their grip on the Warlock and then ran off. Magnus heard Raj cry and shout and lifted himself onto his elbows, seeing Jace kick his crouching body violently. With one last kick against his cheek the man slumped to the ground and Jace threw his hair back with his hand before he turned around, his face showing pure anger, panting hard.

He rushed forward and knelt down beside Magnus, observing his body before he grabbed his cheeks gently. “Fuck, what did they do to you?” Magnus flinched at the touch because it hurt. “Can you get up?” Magnus nodded and Jace helped him up from the ground and guided him outside the room, then pulled the door shut and locked it so Raj wouldn’t go anywhere when he awoke. He turned around to Magnus who leant against the wall. “What happened?” Jace asked concerned and grabbed Magnus shoulder to steady him a little.

“I-“ he began and then hissed, feeling the pain in his whole mouth. Shit. He sighed and slumped his shoulders. “My magic. It didn’t work.” Magnus gasped through his teeth. Jace groaned and turned back around, his head red, he was furious.

“Those bastards. Raj said there was an emergency downtown but when we got there, it was empty, I knew something was off immediately and came back as fast as I could. I heard you shout my name, but it took me a bit to find you, I am sorry.” Jace rambled and Magnus shook his head, feeling more than relieved even though he didn’t actually look like it.

“You came and that is all that matters.” Magnus whispered and swallowed the blood in his mouth down, feeling grateful for Jace instincts. He came just in time and saved him from worse.

“We have to get you to the Infirmary.” Jace meant to grab Magnus but he held his palm up.

“I am fine Jace, I just need to rest to gather some magic, then I can heal myself.” Jace rose his eyebrows before he furrowed them.

“You are fine? You’ve just been attacked and- I don’t know what else. You are shaking. You are definitely not ‘fine’.” Magnus squinted his eyes at him. “Come on, let’s go to my room, it’s around the corner.” Jace said, grabbing Magnus gently and pulled him along the corridor to his room, he didn’t really want to leave Magnus alone right now.

“Can I take a shower?” Magnus said, rubbing the back of his neck and Jace nodded.

“Sure. You know where it is.” He motioned to the door and watched Magnus leave, feeling an uncomfortable throb deep in his stomach, he had noticed that Raj’s pants were open when he had attacked him, the fact that he didn’t want to go to the infirmary and wanted to shower now first of all only strengthened his fear and he felt a little overwhelmed with how to behave now. He didn’t want to make any wrong conclusions and also didn’t want to make it worse for Magnus in any way.

Magnus held the sink in his shaky hands and then looked up at the mirror, seeing the blue-purple bruises on his cheek, the line of dried blood running down his face, his swollen jaw. It hurt like a bitch but there was nothing he could do right now, so he stripped and went to take a shower, he didn’t know why he felt the urge to shower right now, but he just felt it, he wanted to get the blood off his face, the phantom touches of their hands off his body. He heard a knock on the door the moment he turned the water off.

“I have fresh clothes for you.” Jace said and opened the door, throwing the stuff inside without looking and closed the door again. Magnus dried himself and dressed in Jace’ casual outfit and then got out again. Jace stood in front of the window, his arms crossed and observed him intensely. Magnus sat down on his bed and then held his hand next to his jaw and snapped his fingers, feeling his jaw tremble and vibrate, he whined and grimaced as pain shot through every cell of his body.

A loud crack put his jaw back in place and Magnus cried out at the pain and then sighed relieved as the pain subsided, he circled it around, it still hurt but it was okay again. He felt his cheeks, awaiting the stinging pain but nothing hurt, they were healed as well. He let his shoulders slump and breathed, exhausted but happy. The pain was gone, the blood was gone, the bruises were gone. He felt the bed dip beside him and opened his eyes again, looking aside.

“Are you gonna be okay?” Jace asked and Magnus nodded, with a sincere smile.

“Yes. I feel much better.”

“Do you…wanna talk about it?” Magnus could hear the discomfort in his voice, like he felt uncomfortable offering it, they weren’t actually so close to talk about serious or intimate things and Magnus felt it too, it was awkward, he shook his head and he could swear he could see Jace gasp relieved.

Magnus felt grateful for Jace’s comfort and care, it wasn’t something he was used to, he usually had to deal with nasty situations and its aftermath alone, opening up about such things and actually taking the offered comfort was difficult for him. The walls he had built around himself were just too high.

“I will call Alec right away.” Jace said and got up.

“No.” Magnus rushed and Jace turned around to look down at him a little irritated.

“No?” He questioned and Magnus looked at him a little too serious.

“No.”

“Why not? He has to know Magnus.” Magnus gasped. Well, that was true. But the fear that Raj would actually tell the Clave about what Alec did made his heart clench. Also, it was fine, he was okay, nothing happened, he didn’t want to worry Alec about this or make him return when he still had business to do.

“I will tell him myself.” Magnus said, hoping he can convince Jace, who stared at him some more, trying to decipher if he was being serious. He would tell him, eventually. Maybe. Maybe not. He wasn’t sure yet. There was no need actually. He was fine and he had his magic to defend himself, he was very sure he wouldn’t get sick again any time soon, so he could trust his magic. Maybe it was good that Alec was away and didn’t have to witness any of this. Jace shrugged.

“Okay. Is there anything I can do?” Jace asked, his palms up, feeling a little helpless.

“I could use some alcohol.” Jace snorted and crossed his arms.

“You could use some sleep, Magnus.”

“I will. But I also need alcohol and to get out of here for a bit.” Jace narrowed his eyes. He didn’t know what the protocol for such a situation was actually, but if Magnus felt like it, why not.

“I will call Simon and we’ll make a visit to the Hunter’s Moon later, I still have some things to take care of and you need rest, so let’s say in 3 hours at the front door?”

“I would love that and Jace, thank you for everything, for taking care of me when I felt awful and now…” Magnus said and Jace smiled widely at him from the threshold.

“You are welcome buddy, always.” He said, tapping the threshold with his fingers and then left him. Magnus let out a shaky breath as soon as he was alone and wiped his hand down his face before he lay back onto the bed and onto his side, he curled into a ball and wrapped his arms around himself, imagining it was Alec holding him.

\---

3 hours later, Magnus made his way through the Institute in his thick black coat. He stepped out into the dark, the sharp cold wind instantly hitting his face, burning his lungs. Fuck, it was cold. But it was good, it was exactly what he needed, to get his head clear. He searched for his gloves and put them on, he forgot his scarf, of fucking course. Jace already stood there, waiting for him.

“You feeling better?” He said the moment Magnus walked to his side and they began to make their way to the pub.

“Yeah, I do. This wasn’t the first time I was attacked, that shit happens.” Magnus said almost nonchalantly and shrugged and actually he didn’t feel like it was a big deal, of course it was frightening, especially since he didn’t have his magic to defend himself, it was painful, but he had had worse in his past, he was used to these things by now, unfortunately.

He was used to brushing it off, to deal with it. This was never meant towards his person it was because of what he was and he had long accepted the fact that people hated him for being a Warlock. He had decided long ago to not let it get to his head anymore. Jace looked at him, a little concerned.

“Gee, I am sorry. But I feel you. I’ve been in a lot of fights myself; I am not an easy guy. People don’t always get along with me and I am-I am a fool sometimes; I do stupid things. I brought myself and my siblings into more trouble than I can count.” He said with a shrug of his shoulder. Magnus had guessed so much. Jace understood.

“I think you are a great guy, for what it’s worth.” Jace whipped his head around before a little smile lit up his face.

“Really? Thanks. Coming from you that means a lot, you are like the greatest guy I ever met.” Magnus felt his cheeks redden as he returned Jace’s look. “I mean. You are nice and all and you can do magic and stuff.” Jace stammered and looked back forward, obviously uncomfortable with his sudden outburst of emotions.

“Thank you, Jace.” Magnus whispered, realising why exactly Alec chose Jace as his Parabatai. He would be honoured being bound to that man.

“I went to get Raj, he- he was gone when I got there.” He almost whispered. “Someone must have opened the door for him, maybe the others. But don’t worry, the alarm will go off the moment any of them enters the Institute again, it has its perks to be the Head of the Institute.” Jace said with a laugh and Magnus smiled back at him. It did.

“Thank you. That’s good.” Magnus actually felt much better about this, he didn’t want to feel chased or scared at the Institute, he never did until now and he wanted it to stay this way, most have been so nice to him, he wouldn’t let three Shadowhunters ruin his opinion of them all. There were black sheeps in every community.

Jace opened the door as they reached the bar and Magnus walked inside, a comfortable warmth wrapped around his body and he took off his gloves. They settled at a table near the stage and ordered some beer. Simon joined them around 30 minutes later. They talked about this and that and Magnus had a hard time to follow but was okay with just listening for once. Jace spoke about weapons, motorcycles, leather clothes and Simon of some shows and books or was it games? Well, it was weird. They had another round of alcohol, something harder this time and from the looks of their faces it quickly took effect.

“Hey, I never asked you, why did you pick up my phone yesterday? Alec seemed a little furious.” Magnus asked, while sipping on his cocktail, leaning over to Jace. Simon followed the conversation as good as possible.

“He can be as furious as he wants to. I don’t mind. I helped him and if he doesn’t see that he can suck my balls.” Magnus rose his eyebrows. “Well, not really. You know what I mean. I will leave the ball sucking to the two of you.” Simon laughed and Magnus blushed and averted his eyes quickly. The alcohol had successfully reached their tongues it seemed. Jace followed him with his eyes, a little mischievous smirk on his thick lips. “So, I heard you are still very new to all of this.” Magnus swallowed.

“Yes. I am.” His answer was short, minimum info’s revealed.

“What?!” Simon shrieked next to them. “You never told me!” Magnus eyed his cocktail as if it was the most thrilling thing ever and scratched his ear. Simon looked over to Jace and mouthed a ‘wow’ and Jace nodded. “That is so romantic! Like a movie.” Magnus lifted his eyes at Simon, squinting one of them.

“And do you want to?” Magnus looked to Jace again, seeing Jace sparkly blue eyes.

“Want what?”

“Have sex with him. Bang him. ‘Make love’.” It didn’t matter if he spoke to the girls or the boys, both seemed awfully interested in his sex life.

“I am not telling you this.” Magnus pressed through his teeth, realising talking to Jace about this made him cringe, he preferred talking to Clary, definitely.

“Alec wants to.” Magnus felt his breath hitch. He told him about it? What did they talk about? “He is just afraid to fuck it up, he doesn’t want to pressure you into it. I think he waits for you to make the first step.” Magnus blinked his eyes. Does he?

“Why are you telling me this?” Jace shrugged.

“The sexual tension is killing me; it makes me cringe.” Jace huffed and rolled his shoulders, tapping his bond with the tips of his fingers. “Besides, I thought you should know.” Magnus nodded and looked ahead. Interesting. It’s not like he didn’t want this already, his mind was swirling around the Shadowhunter, the naked Shadowhunter constantly. His dick was semi hard throughout the past 2 days with only a little break earlier and he wondered if Alec felt the same. Probably not.

“I haven’t seen Alexander in 2 1/2 days.” Magnus whined and let his head flop on the table. “I miss him.” He mumbled against the table. Jace gave Simon a look.

“We need more drinks!” Both said simultaneously and so they did. They spend the next hours drinking, talking, laughing, fighting, and drinking some more until the alcohol had successfully burned away all the sore spots in his body. They even did some karaoke and Magnus and Jace sang a beautiful duet to Rewrite the stars like their lives depended on it, which was most likely nothing more but a row of growls and cries, a few people might have stormed off in horror. It worked, for a moment he forgot about his aching heart that yearned for his Shadowhunter and all the trouble in his life.

\---

They tumbled out of the bar arm in arm late at night, laughing and swaying from one side to the other and it was very obvious none of them had a functioning brain cell anymore. “Heeeeeeeeyyyyy” Jace slurred as he picked up the phone. “Baaaaaaby.” Magnus and Simon giggled next to him and Jace put up a finger. “Yeaaaaaah gon be home soooonish. With t’boys.” Jace nodded roughly, his long hair bobbing back and forth. “willgethim home…savely yes.” Jace pointed at Magnus and Magnus leant forward to kiss the tip of the finger while Simon laughed next to them doubling over.

Jace grimaced and then laughed along. “Yep. Yep. Yep.” Magnus heard a loud retching sound from the side and saw Simon throwing up on the sidewalk. He made his way there as good as possible, walking like some drunk model on a catwalk and then grabbed Simons shoulders.

“Lemme hepp you.” He said but then fell to his knees next to him, stumbling over his own feet. “Oops.” He leant forward on his arms to steady himself and then laughed maniacally. Jace began to sing a romantic ballad to Clary on the phone.

“What the…?” Izzy said as she witnessed the scene in front of her, her eyes going from the singing Jace to the laughing Magnus on all fours, to the retching Simon. Alec and Clary came to her side the same moment and it took them a while to take everything in. Maia opened the door.

“Thank god, you are here. I already feared I had to get them all home with me.” She puffed annoyed and slammed her fists into her sides.

“Thanks for letting us know where they are. What the hell happened to them?” Izzy grimaced at another bone trembling notch of Jace and Clary held the phone away from her face before ending the call. She had immediately tried to find them, knowing they wouldn’t get home in their current state of mind, luckily Alec and Izzy had returned just that exact moment. They had called Maia to inquire if they were there.

“Helllloouuuuuuuuuu? Babyyyy?” Jace slurred and watched the phone. “’s broken!” He cried and threw the phone across the street where it landed on the concrete and shattered into a hundred pieces. Simon sat down after he emptied his stomach and Magnus kissed the ground with his forehead, his ass up high. The Lightwoods and Clary rolled their eyes at their partners in perfect synchronisation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Congratulations! You made it through this 🤗 We all knew this was going to happen eventually though, right? Hands up for Magnus's blond guardian Angel. What is better than some fun, drunk bro time to clear your head hm? Annnnnd Alec has returned 😁 Yay! Thanks for all the comments and kudos on the last chapter! 😘


	37. Chapter 37

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I couldn’t stop thinking about you.” Magnus gasped and watched Alec’s chest heave, his nostrils flaring, the flicker of his eyes that went all over Magnus’ body. He took another step closer until he stood right in front of him and craned his neck to look him in the eyes. He could see the soft parting of his lips where they were glued together and felt the heat of his body radiate towards him.
> 
> “What did you think about?” Alec’s voice dropped an octave, he sounded sultry but in a curious way. Magnus smiled sheepishly at his words and felt his body shiver, his dick hardening in his pants.
> 
> “You. Me. Together.” Magnus said with his most seductive voice. Alec swallowed hard and lowered his head the moment Magnus came even closer, their bodies almost touching.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://ibb.co/2KWsMn6)   


Alec, Izzy and Clary made their way to the drunk boys to gather them up. Clary wrapped her arms around Jace and steadied him. “Hey love, look at me, I’m here.” Jace almost jumped.

“The hell! Just calllled you.” Clary groaned and tried her best to hold the heavy man up while Izzy knelt next to Simon and stroked his cheek lovingly.

“Hey, you okay?” Simon nodded and then giggled before gagging again. Izzy leant back while Simon turned around to puke again. “By the angel.” She waved her hand in front of her face.

Alec knelt down and wrapped his arms around the Warlock to lift him off the ground. “Magnus, hey.” He said softly and Magnus opened his eyes, unfocused and completely out of it. He looked at Alec and narrowed them before he pressed his palm into his face. Alec tilted his head away.

“Youuu pretty.” Alec let out a huff of air and looked at his scratched forehead where he had rested against the concrete. Alec should be angry with them, all of them, most of all Jace, to just leave like that and get drunk, Jace had duties at the Institute while Izzy and him were away and dragging Magnus into this was not okay. He should take care of him and not knock him out. But the anger kept in check, the love he felt after seeing him again overruled it all.

Magnus slumped forward and against Alec’s chest and Alec stroked his back lovingly. “Hey, someone help me please.” Clary whined while Jace practically lay on her body as she tried to hold him up somehow. Maia ran to her side and both grabbed Jace below the arms.

Alec narrowed his eyes as he heard a zipper opening and looked down between them horrified, seeing Magnus try to pull out his dick. “’ve to pee.” Magnus murmured.

“No, absolutely not! Put that away.” He commanded as quiet as possible and bat Magnus’ hands away and carefully zipped his pants back up, before looking around himself with wide eyes to see if anyone saw.

“Alexxaan…” Magnus protested and tried to reach for his pants again but Alec grabbed him by the arms and hauled him up to stand and then quickly wrapped his arms around him and lifted him bridal style.

“I will get you home. You can go there, okay?” Alec whispered again and then watched Clary pull out her stele to draw the rune on her palm to open the portal for them, both girls heaved Jace through it who began to sing loudly again, Alec looked down to Izzy for a moment who still knelt next to Simon. “You okay?” Izzy nodded.

“We will stay here for a bit; I will bring him home then. You go.” They shared a look, obviously annoyed with their behaviour and Alec then followed the others through the portal. He rushed past the girls and Jace to their room to get Magnus to that damn toilet before something awkward would happen.

Alec threw the door open with his back and ran into the bathroom, lowering Magnus in front of the toilet who slumped down immediately.

“Shit, Magnus!” Alec grabbed the Warlock, lifting him up to stand again and stood behind him holding him up with one arm around his mid, opening Magnus’ zipper with his free hand. Magnus slowly and lazily bat his hand away.

“Can do…myself.” He murmured and continued himself; Alec looked aside and clenched his jaw the moment he heard the familiar sounds, hoping to the angel that Magnus wouldn’t pee on Alec’s pants. “Weeeeeuuuuuuu” Magnus sing sang while Alec saw something splatter across the room from the edge of his eye.

“Magnus! Stop it.” He gasped and tried to force Magnus hand to the toilet again. “God, you are-“ He began scoldingly, but then chuckled. Magnus let his head fall back against Alec’s shoulder with a laugh. “You are an idiot.” He finished, not as serious anymore and gave Magnus a peck on the cheek, before helping him put it away again and wash his hands, giving the wet surfaces in his bathroom a quick look over with a groan.

Magnus stumbled back into the room, still giggling and then crawled on the chair on all fours. “Good Night Alexxxxxander.” He slurred and let himself fall onto his stomach, his head hanging down next to the long chair. “Mybedshrinked.” He added and lifted his head again the moment Alec had finished cleaning the bathroom and returned to the room, blinking his eyes at the sight.

Alec had definitely imagined his return and Magnus’ welcome a little different. With a long inhale of oxygen to calm his strained nerves he went to Magnus side and lifted him up in one swift movement, brought him to the bed and let him drop, a little unkindly. Magnus yelped as he fell.

“Heeeeeyyyy.” He protested and Alec helped him out of his clothes a little reluctantly and put them all away. “Cuddle?” Magnus asked, making grabby hands at Alec and Alec let out a huff of air, smiling down at him.

“Not now, you need to sleep. I still have work to do.” He explained a little bitter even though he was sure Magnus wouldn’t understand a word and then lowered himself, brushing Magnus’ hair off his forehead to give him a gentle kiss on it. “Sleep.” He whispered against his skin. Magnus pouted and then dropped back to the bed, falling asleep instantly.

\---

Magnus bat his eyes open, feeling the instant pain shoot through his skull. God, how much did he drink? Clearly too much. Why did he agree to do that? He had never gotten this drunk before in the past, they were some bad influence that was sure. He rubbed his temples and tried to remember the past event. Fragments crossed his mind, singing, laughing. That was it. He looked around himself and just then realised where he was. He was in his bed. How did he get there? Who brought him there?

“Jace?” He called out and waited for an answer, his own voice drumming in his head. He reached for his phone and then dialled Jace number, nobody answered. He looked at the time, it was 2am. He must be asleep. Magnus lowered his face and saw that he was naked except his boxers. Odd. Did he do that? He placed his right hand in front of his forehead, almost as if he was pulling something out of it, when white magic swirled around his fingers and Magnus felt the pain leave his body.

That was very convenient, indeed. His mind felt clear again and so did his memory unfortunately. More and more images flooded his mind. Jace singing, Simon throwing up. Magnus eyes widened as the memory of Alec lifting him up and carrying him pierced his mind. No…his mind must play him tricks. Alec wasn’t here. He checked his phone again, no messages, no calls. No, he wasn’t. His shoulders slumped and the quick excitement again subsided. He fell back against the pillows and sighed.

Oh, how much he wished it to be true. He didn’t want to go one more day without Alec, he needed to see him, talk to him so badly it almost hurt. Another fragment crossed his mind, Alec carrying him to the bathroom and holding him up while he…pissed? What the hell. Magnus grimaced, what kind of shit did he dream?

He looked aside and stared at the door for a moment, sighing again. He was already hallucinating about Alec obviously because he could see perfectly polished black shoes next to his armchair, a dark jacket hanging over the armrest. Magnus blinked his eyes a few times and then straightened himself to sit.

Those are Alec’s clothes. Those are…Alec’s clothes. He jumped off the bed so quick that he saw Chairman running across the room in surprise and then darted to the clothes, he grabbed them and pressed them against his nose; Alec’s scent entering all his senses. Alec’s jacket. Alec…

He let it drop to the ground and quickly pulled on some loose sweatpants and a shirt and rushed out of the room and along the corridors to Jace room, he ran the last part and opened his door. His heart throbbed for a moment, but not with love but with disappointment as he saw Clary and Jace sleeping peacefully. He closed the door again slowly and then walked the way back, he couldn’t be dreaming this right. It was Alec’s things. Maybe someone put them there, Jace? He inhaled deeply and went back to his room when he saw blueish light coming from the other side of the corridor.

Shrugging to himself, he walked the other way, listening to his bare feet pacing the ground. It was so quiet at this time of night. He turned around the corner, lifted his head and then froze.

Alec stood with his back to him, leaning against the computer table with both arms, while occasionally drifting his pointer finger over it to run through some files, his legs were crossed below the knees in a casual way. He wore a grey pullover and dark tight pants.

Magnus felt his heart pound against his chest. He walked closer almost zoned out and then stopped a few feet behind him and watched him scratch his own forehead. It felt like ages since he had last seen him and he was more beautiful than ever. Even from behind.

“Alexander.” Alec jerked and turned around abruptly. His face showed surprise as if he hadn’t expected him, well he didn’t. Alec leant back against the table and crossed his legs and arms again. His face was almost emotionless, though he could see a faint smile on his lips. Well, this wasn’t the reaction he had assumed.

“Hey. Are you feeling better?” Magnus tilted his head in confusion. No, this clearly wasn’t the reaction he had hoped for.

“Yes, I…wait. This was no dream, right? Last night, you carried me back to the Institute.” As soon as the words left his lips the last fragments of the past night unpuzzled in his head. He saw it all. To say he blushed was an understatement. “I am so sorry Alexander…” He said throwing his hands up. “I was…” he stopped and pressed his lips together.

Alec just stared at him and looked down to his feet and back up. “Why did you drink so much?” Magnus hated the sound of Alec’s voice. The light scold in it as well as the disappointment. He parted his lips and then licked them, before taking a tentative step forward.

“I missed you.” It was the truth. Alec’s features softened and he lowered his arms, he leant them against the table at his sides.

“I missed you too.” He breathed and it sounded almost pained. Magnus took another step closer and could almost see the tension decreasing from Alec’s body the closer he got. He stopped in front of him, close enough to see every detail but far enough to not need to stretch his head up. Alec’s eyes drifted from Magnus lips to his eyes and back down.

“I couldn’t stop thinking about you.” Magnus gasped and watched Alec’s chest heave, his nostrils flaring, the flicker of his eyes that went all over Magnus’ body. He took another step closer until he stood right in front of him and craned his neck to look him in the eyes. He could see the soft parting of his lips where they were glued together and felt the heat of his body radiate towards him.

“What did you think about?” Alec’s voice dropped an octave, he sounded sultry but in a curious way. Magnus smiled sheepishly at his words and felt his body shiver, his dick hardening in his pants.

“You. Me. Together.” Magnus said with his most seductive voice. Alec swallowed hard and lowered his head the moment Magnus came even closer, their bodies almost touching.

They darted forward simultaneously and slammed their faces into the other’s, their lips hot and needy, Magnus sucked on his plump lower lip and let it flop out of his mouth; Alec looked startled for a moment and then they kissed again. Rough, passionate and with all they had, like they hadn’t seen and kissed each other in months.

Magnus grabbed Alec’s waist and pulled him closer while Alec pressed his palms against Magnus’ throat and jaws, pulling him in and devouring his lips with his own.

“Alexander.” Magnus breathed desperately between kisses and Alec hummed in return. They fingered, grasped and grabbed the other one almost roughly, like they didn’t quite know what to touch first and Magnus clutched Alec’s pullover between his fingers and pulled it up to his head, Alec tilted his head through the opening, so it rested behind his neck, his shoulders and arms still covered but his chest and stomach bare.

Magnus pressed his hands on his hard pecs and squeezed them, before dragging his fingers down his abs, enjoying the way Alec’s muscles rippled below his nails, leaving red marks on his skin. Alec’s nipples hardened, his mouth went slack and he was panting heavily.

Magnus brushed his hands up his body again, leant in and sucked his tiny, hard nipple between his warm lips to suck on it, before biting around the whole area open mouthed roughly like a starved animal, Alec threw his head back and moaned deep and needy. Magnus tugged on him with his mouth until his swollen and red nub flopped out between his teeth and Alec jerked back with a loud hiss.

Magnus threw his hands to his back and pulled his shirt over his head and let it drop aside, both looked at each other for a moment and then slammed their bodies together again, skin rubbing against skin, hands everywhere, lips melting. He pushed his thigh between Alec’s muscled legs and spread them, pressing his groin against Alec’s.

Magnus felt Alec’s hard cock press against his own and moaned to the feeling of it, he rubbed himself against him in circles, seeking that friction and Alec returned it until they were rutting against the other with their hips. He stopped to grab Alec’s belt with both hands, worked it open and pulled down the zipper. Alec grabbed his arm roughly to stop him.

“Wait. We are-“ he panted. “We are in the ops center Magnus.” Magnus halted and looked around himself, yes, they were right in the open, in the middle of the heart of the Institute that was usually the busiest room of all, but it was empty now, it was dark except a few computer screens, it was quiet. And Magnus was too hard and heady to care. He placed his lust filled eyes back on the Shadowhunter and saw his mortified expression.

“Do you want to go to the bedroom?” Magnus gulped, his Adam’s apple bobbing heavily. Alec looked around himself too and then back to Magnus, obviously thinking, obviously making a decision. He shook his head.

“Too far away.” He gasped and Magnus inhaled sharply before nodding his head frantically.

“Agreed.” He returned to his work on Alec’s pants while he shoved his lips back against Alec’s mouth, licking him, tonguing him, tasting him. He pushed the pants down his legs and Alec wiggled them down his hips until they landed on his ankles. Alec pushed Magnus’ head away with his own and wrapped his lips around Magnus throat at the side, sucking onto his skin while he tugged on Magnus’ waistband and pushed it down, feeling the slight resistance as his erect cock caught on the fabric before it sprung free and the pants dropped down.

Magnus moaned loudly as Alec sucked on his vein, his lips went down his throat to his collarbone and to the middle and the soft spot in between them when he licked his way up over his Adam’s apple and to his chin, Magnus stretched his head back to give Alec space and then lowered it again, his pupils split and honey coloured. Alec gasped loudly and Magnus could see the surprise in his big hazel eyes, before a wide, open mouthed smile appeared on his face, he looked completely wrecked. His skin was glistening with sweat, a few strands of hair sticking to his forehead.

Magnus felt his cock throb to the sight, a drop of precum sliding down his shaft. He wanted him. Wanted to be inside of him. So badly. The feeling was overpowering all his senses.

“I want you.” Alec’s breath hitched in his throat and he searched Magnus eyes. Magnus returned his gaze as determined as possible to show him he meant it, he really wanted it.

“Are you sure?” Alec asked carefully. “We can wait.” Magnus inhaled and widened his eyes a little, almost feeling offended at the suggestion, as if he could wait any second longer.

“I don’t want to wait, I need you, now.” Magnus grabbed Alec’s jaws and pulled him down against his face again, showing him how much he meant those words, he pressed himself forward against Alec’s naked body, their dicks touching and grinding together, sending a pleasant shiver through his body. “Do you want to?” Magnus asked against his lips, not able to go any further away from him. He knew deep down that Alec wanted this, but he had to make sure, he wanted Alec to say it.

It took Alec a few moments and he then broke their kiss, staring deep into his eyes. “I want to.”

That was all Magnus needed and he stepped back and away from Alec’s sweaty body and then grabbed the Shadowhunter by the waist and flipped him over in one swift move and Alec gasped at the sudden manhandling, he felt Magnus’ palms press him down, draping him over the table until his upper body was flush with the cold glass, his palms against the surface next to his head.

“Fuck.” Alec mumbled, obviously surprised by what just happened.

Magnus needed a moment as he saw Alec’s broad back, the slopes of his muscles, he looked down on him, to the dimples above his ass, he ran his fingers down his skin where his pullover ended to his ass cheeks, holding his waist between his shaky fingers and dipping his thumbs into his dimples. He was almost salivating at this point. His ass was right in front of him, right in front of his aching cock, he had a perfect round ass, it looked muscular too and Magnus remembered the feeling of his fingers inside him, how hot and soft it was.

He ran his hands down his ass to his thighs and heard Alec groan against the table. Magnus pressed his hands back up his ass with more pressure and watched his cheeks move up and bounce back down. He pushed his thumbs in his crack and pulled his cheeks apart a little, seeing Alec’s beautiful pink hole. A shiver ran down his spine and he shook himself. It was intimate. It was hot. 

He snapped his fingers and had a condom and lube appear on the table and grabbed the condom wrapper, opening it with trembling fingers. “You don’t need it…if you don’t want to.” Alec whispered against the table. No, Alec said it was easier that way and he definitely didn’t want to hurt Alec.

“I want it.” He stated and then pulled it open and took the blue thing out, trying to remember what Alec had done the other day, he pressed it against his glans and then rolled it down, not as skilfully as Alec but it worked anyways, he gasped as the tight ring grabbed his sensitive skin.

“Is it supposed to stop my blood circulation?” Magnus breathed and Alec chuckled.

“Yes, you will get used to it.” Magnus grabbed the lube and then squeezed a huge amount on his dick and on Alec’s ass crack and threw the bottle away. He ran his hand over his cock a few times to spread it and then concentrated on Alec, trying to remember everything he had learned the past days, he leant down and held Alec by the waist gently, he placed one kiss after the other on his strong back and felt Alec squirm beneath him. He reached down to his ass and brushed his finger over the lube down to his hole and back up, making sure it was everywhere and then circled the puckered skin.

He tried to distract him with kisses while he pushed his finger inside, like the first time it was instantly swallowed by Alec’s body and it was just as hot as the last time, he placed a second against his rim and pushed both in, slower this time and felt Alec’s body tense below his lips.

“You okay?” Magnus looked up and saw Alec nod. He gently fingered his way around his soft and bumpy channel a bit and then worked his fingers in and out slowly, feeling the stretch of his rim and inner muscle rings around them, but it was easy and felt good. More than good. He couldn’t wait to push his cock inside that.

He stretched his fingers a little and licked down his back to his dimples where he kissed him sloppily. “You have to add a third.” Alec stuttered and Magnus eyebrows quirked up. Oh okay. He added a third a little reluctantly because he really didn’t want this to become uncomfortable for Alec. It was difficult to push in this time and Magnus felt the urge to stop but Alec pushed himself back and against Alec’s fingers, so he complied and shoved them inside his clenching hole, he could feel it widen and Alec groaned, his fingers clawing the table. This looked painful, he didn’t want this to be painful.

“Should I stop?” He asked, a little unsure now but Alec shook his head.

“Don’t you dare.” Alec almost growled and Magnus pressed his palm down on the small of Alec’s back while he worked his fingers inside his body and began to thrust them in and out gently. It felt extremely tight. Almost painfully so, but Alec didn’t seem to mind or notice because he began to thrust himself back on his fingers and Magnus had to close his eyes for a moment to not cum on the spot. He needed to get inside there, yesterday.

He pulled his fingers out and watched the hole clench on air. Alec hissed and Magnus cursed himself internally. “Sorry, I should have warned you. I’m- urgh.” I’m too fucking nervous to think right now.

“’s okay. I’m fine. I’m ready Magnus.” Magnus nodded, even though Alec couldn’t see it and then swallowed his lower lip inside his mouth and bit on it while grabbing his own cock by the base, he ran his tip through the lube on his ass and then pressed it against his rim carefully.

Magnus tightened his ass muscles and pushed his hips forward, then slipped and bumped against Alec’s balls. “Shit. Sorry. Slippery.” He murmured and Alec chuckled.

“Stop apologizing Magnus, it’s alright, you are doing perfect.” Alec whispered and Magnus swallowed hard, shutting up now. He angled his dick back against his rim and concentrated, pushing his tip right into the tight hole, he felt the pressure around his head increase until it was sucked in and completely enveloped by Alec’s body. Fuck. He was inside of Alec. He was actually inside…of…Alec. He looked down at their connection completely mesmerised until he felt fingers on his left hand that had rested on the table, Alec clung to his hand and they interlocked their fingers.

“Is this okay?” Magnus asked.

“Yes, it’s perfect.” Magnus placed his right hand on Alec’s back to steady himself and then pushed himself into him more, his tight and hot channel taking him in inch by inch and Magnus couldn’t stop the moans that came from deep within his lungs, the feeling was just so overwhelming. “Fuck…” He threw his head back the moment he bottomed out and his hips pressed against Alec’s ass cheeks. Alec squeezed his hand almost painfully hard.

Magnus looked back down, his lips parted and dry, his eyes glazed. “Fuck.” He said again and Alec clenched his hole around him. This was fucking amazing. Better than he had imagined, it was completely different to a vagina, his memory might have faded a little but he knew for sure that this was much more intense and tighter. Almost too tight.

“You can move. But go slow first.” Magnus nodded to no one in particular and then pulled his hips back until his head caught on Alec’s hole and then back inside until his dick disappeared in Alec’s velvety channel, the squeeze of his flesh was breathtaking. A warm tingling sensation spread in the base of his cock and rushed through his whole body. Shit. He was not going to last long, he thought in despair.

He repeated the gesture a few times with long, deep strokes until the squeeze of Alec’s hand stopped and he then lowered himself on Alec’s back and wrapped his arm around the Shadowhunter’s mid. He began to thrust into him in little quick jerks, only his hips moving back and forth while he lay on Alec’s sweaty back. His face nestled in the soft pullover on Alec’s upper back.

“Oh god…yes…Magnus…fuck…me…” Alec moaned and spread his legs some more as wide as his pants allowed. He shut his eyes and clenched them together while his body was rocked forth and back by Magnus thrusts that became more powerful by the second, his speed increased with every minute passing until he was pounding into him roughly, the slapping of skin on skin echoed through the big room. The lust was consuming him completely.

Fuck. Shit. God. This was too good.

Magnus peeled his body off Alec’s and grabbed him by the waist, digging his fingers into his soft skin and pulled him back against himself while rutting into him, Magnus felt like fainting every time Alec’s perfect ass cheeks slapped against his groin and he disappeared completely into him. His muscles began to ache, on his arms, his chest, his stomach, his throat, the veins growing and rushing the blood through his body. He lost himself in pleasure.

“Alexander.” He chanted in between moans, not able to form any coherent sentence at the moment. Magnus felt Alec circle his hips, changing the angle and then groaned deeply, his body tensing up while his rim clenched hard around Magnus’ dick. He grunted with every thrust and trembled from the effort to keep his body at that angle, Magnus quickly assisted him and held his hips in that perfect angle while he obviously grinded against Alec’s prostate.

“Shit. Don’t. Stop.” Alec pleaded, shivering. “Right. There. I’m so close.” Alec pushed himself back desperately, meeting Magnus thrusts halfway.

“I’ve got you.” Magnus stuttered in between pants and grabbed him tighter, surely leaving bruises and fucked into him violently and hard to take over for Alec and get him there, while Alec grabbed the edge of the table and held on for dear life.

Magnus opened his eyes and scanned the room for a second, there was nobody there, but the computers. The Shadowhunter computers. He was fucking a Shadowhunter in the Institute. He was fucking the Head of the Institute in their operation center. He was fucking Alec. Shit. The realisation of what he was doing hit him so hard and deep that he felt his balls draw up and his cock swell.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

“Fuck. Alexander, I am going to cum.” Magnus groaned, warning him, he didn’t want this to end, but his body craved the release, he couldn’t stop pounding into him until his rhythm faltered, he grabbed Alec’s pullover below his neck and pulled him roughly against himself with each thrust because his hips wouldn’t comply. Alec hissed and clutched the table so hard that his fingers turned white.

Magnus braced himself to pull out at the last second and already took his base into hand when he realised that he was sheathed inside that condom. Which meant he could cum inside him. He placed his hand back on Alec’s waist.

“Cum for me Magnus.” Alec squeezed around him hard and pushed back against Magnus to take over for him again, while Magnus leant on the Shadowhunter that was fucking him by his own now. He felt his legs go weak and his mind black out as his cock exploded in Alec’s body and his body spasmed hard. A loud guttural moan echoed through the hall while Alec kept fucking his orgasm out of him. His hips snapped forward to meet him instinctually, trying to bury himself deeper into him.

His cock throbbed with every wave of cum while Alec was milking him with his ass before it became too sensitive. He dropped on Alec’s back, completely weak and boneless. “Stop. Please.” He whispered and Alec slowed down until he stopped. Magnus pulled his hips back gently and felt his softening cock slide out of Alec and then just breathed. Air. He needed air. He felt Alec’s rapid heartbeat below his chest and kissed his salty shoulder before he lifted himself again to stand as good as possible.

Alec turned around immediately and hopped on the table, with one foot against the table, his legs spread and leant back on one arm while he jerked himself with the other. He threw his head back, his chest heaving roughly.

Magnus watched him and noticed horrified how his cock twitched again. He observed every inch of Alec’s body, his muscles tense, his skin sweaty, his body moving in a wave as he fucked into his own hand.

“Fuck…” He gasped and Magnus watched his body tense up, his hand halting on himself and squeezing tight, before thick drops cum spurt out of the tip and onto his abdomen and chest. He released the tension and moaned loud, his body spasming. He lifted his head forward again and looked at Magnus with heavy eyelids. Both just stared at each other for a moment before they smiled, completely exhausted and breathless and then chuckled.

Alec slithered down the table and stood and Magnus looked up at the tall Shadowhunter in awe. “That was…” Magnus began and really had no words to continue this sentence. “I’m speechless.” Magnus felt so completely overwhelmed by his current feelings, it felt like his love for Alec just went through the roof, he felt so much love that it was almost unbearable and he could just stare at that perfect and fucked-out-looking being in front of him. Alec licked his chapped lips and ran his clean hand over his forehead to brush his sweaty hair away.

“Yes.” He gasped and both seemed to be just as speechless and overwhelmed at the moment. “That was perfect. You were perfect.” Alec breathed heavily and Magnus felt his chest swell with pride. He was more than relieved that he did this right and that Alec seemed to have enjoyed it just as much as he did. That was all he ever wanted. He felt the edges of his eyes water and blinked them quickly. You fucking don’t cry now Magnus.

“I should leave more often.” Magnus opened his mouth in fake shock, well almost fake. “Just kidding.”

“You better be. I won’t let you go again.” Alec smiled down at him fondly and then leant down and they kissed, lovingly, gently, all the passion gone and making way for nothing but love. Magnus hoped he could express what he felt through the kiss because he was by god in no state to voice it. Their lips parted with a soft smack. “Are you okay?” Magnus inquired with concern in his eyes but Alec only licked his lips in the most erotic way.

“Better than okay. Did you enjoy it?” Magnus smiled at him breathlessly, his face showing nothing but pure bliss.

“I loved every second of it, Alexander. Every little second. And every inch of your body. Inside and out. I love…I loved it.” Alec’s grin was face splitting and he grabbed Magnus hand, holding it tight. “We should get dressed…” Magnus suggested, trying to snap himself out of it and Alec’s eyes suddenly focused and he looked around himself as if he had forgotten where they were for a moment. And maybe he even did.

He quickly dressed himself and Magnus did the same, while they shared a few quick giggles with each other. Magnus took Alec’s hand in his and pulled him along to their room before giving Alec another kiss on the threshold, chuckling and then they closed the door behind themselves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finaaaaaaaaaaaally *drums* they did it! They had their first time 😍 I hope you enjoyed this very special and intimate moment 😁 Took them long enough, Magnus obviously needed to be apart from his Shadowhunter to gather the last bit of courage 😎 I think he managed just fine, right? 😏 Thank you so much for all the amazing comments on the last chapter! Around 40 I think? You guys are insane! Thank you so much! I love your feedback! 😘


	38. Chapter 38

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I got your note, you want to speak to me?” Alec asked and Magnus could hear his voice hitch, he looked nervous about what Magnus was going to throw his way and Magnus breathed in deeply. Okay, he thought they would do this later, he didn’t feel quite ready yet, but would he ever feel ready for this? Probably not. Magnus clenched his jaws and then looked up at Alec.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://ibb.co/QJ5NBpC)   


Magnus opened his eyes slowly and couldn’t tell if he was still asleep or awake because it felt like a dream, a dream he didn’t want to wake from. The pleasant and warm, fuzzy feeling lingered in every inch of his body. He had sex with Alec last night. And it was amazing. It was a feeling he couldn’t even begin to describe, being one with the man that meant so much to him was everything he had needed and to be honest he couldn’t wait to do it again, to feel that connection over and over again. To just make love to him.

He inhaled deep and exhaled with a long sigh before looking aside slowly as if afraid he wouldn’t be there. But there he was, sleeping safe and sound. He looked so soft and peaceful. Magnus turned on his left side to face him and scooted a little closer. He brushed the back of his fingers over his cheek, feeling the light stubbles and watched Alec scrunch his nose. He batted his eyes a few times and then opened them, looking unfocused at first before his eyes landed on Magnus.

His sleepy face turned into pure joy, his mouth sliding wide and big over his face, his eyes crinkling on the edges. “Good morning.” He breathed with a hoarse voice and Magnus batted his eyelashes a few times.

“Good morning to you too. Did you sleep well?” Alec nodded and then scratched the inside of his eye, before blinking his eyes again, adjusting to the sunlight. He leant aside and grabbed his phone.

“It’s 7am already, wow.” He put it aside and then leant back to face Magnus again. “I’ll just pretend I didn’t see that for another 10 minutes.” He whispered and pulled the covers up higher; Magnus giggled and then froze as he heard the noise, did he just giggle? Oh my. “How did you sleep?”

“Excellent. I’ve never slept better.” Magnus shouldered his way closer and Alec returned the gesture like two caterpillars seeking warmth. Alec reached for Magnus body and wrapped his arms around his soft skin, pulling him closer to himself until they were almost flush. Magnus couldn’t even form words to describe what he was feeling at the moment. The love inside him fluttered with excitement and it tingled in his whole body pleasantly.

“Do you- do you regret anything that happened yesterday?” Alec asked carefully and Magnus snorted.

“Well, I do in fact. But not the time with you. That was…unbelievable.” He looked from his eyes to his lips and back up, from one eye to the other and brushed his hands along Alec’s skin to wrap himself around him too. They stroked each other’s backs lazily.

“I am glad to hear that. Very glad and relieved. Not everyone is into this, you know. I was afraid you wouldn’t like it or that I fucked it up.” Magnus lips parted softly as he listened to his concerns.

“Oh no Alexander, you could never ‘fuck’ this up. And how was I not supposed to like this. I actually don’t want to do anything else for the rest of my life.” Alec laughed quietly and nosed him.

“I know the feeling.” Magnus felt his belly do a flop as he stared into his sparkling eyes, almost tasting the lust in them. “I actually have to get up, but they can wait a little longer…how much are you into quickies?” He chuckled, his voice a mix of amusement and hope.

“Quickie?”

“Quickie, as in quick sex.” Alec kissed the tip of his nose and Magnus felt his face blush at the mere tone of Alec’s voice saying sex. His dick twitched with interest, clearly on board with this. But if Alec had to get up soon, did they have enough time? The preparation already took a lot of time and- Alec had his lips attached to Magnus throat before he could finish the thoughts and sucked on his skin roughly.

A groan escaped Magnus lips and he melted back into the bed while Alec moved on top of him, straddling him and licked up his throat, over his jaw to his ear, that he traced with his tongue and then sucked the curve of his ear into his mouth. Magnus felt his eyes roll back in his head and shivered. “Fuck. I’m in.”

Alec chuckled against his ear which made Magnus shiver again. He grabbed Alec’s waist gently, he was actually quite heavy but the weight was rather pleasant. And he was hot. Magnus experimentally rolled his hips up and grinded against Alec’s groin.

“You are so hard already.” Alec breathed and Magnus’ blush increased, feeling like his face was on fire. Alec met his little thrusts with his hips and gasped softly while his cock hardened and Magnus felt it, every inch growing. He pressed him down with his hands a little and Alec bit him in the jaw playfully before going to his chin and up to his lips. They looked into the others eyes for a moment before they kissed, passionately and open mouthed, slowly but strong. Magnus’ body began to tremble below him, filling with excitement.

“Shit!” Alec gasped and then straightened himself and Magnus threw his hands up.

“What? What did I do?” Alec shook his head.

“Not you. I have an important meeting at 8, I completely forgot.” He looked down at Magnus who looked like he was going to implode from both arousal and frustration. Alec got off him in one swift move and then hopped off the bed to shower.

Magnus lay still, his hands still up in the air not really understanding what just happened. Well, yes of course he did but…fuck. He looked down on himself, his erection pressing a tent into his pyjama pants. He lowered his hands and lay frozen, not knowing what to do with himself. Alec returned and darted through the room, dressing himself in his formal Head of the Institute outfit as quick possible while he tripped a few times and mumbled curse words. Magnus lifted himself and sat back against the headboard.

“I am so sorry Magnus; I will make it up to you okay?” Alec said while buttoning his shirt and then pulling on his jacket. Magnus fought against the urge to pout and nodded.

“It’s fine. I-“ he began and Alec rushed into him with his face, giving him a rough kiss and then turned and nearly ran out of the room. Magnus closed his lips after he was interrupted mid-sentence and then…pouted. He furrowed his brow until the pout turned into an expression of anger. He groaned loudly and then slithered down the bed into the sheets again. That damn Shadowhunter.

\---

Alec sat on his usual chair in the meeting hall, listening to the Clave representatives giving their usual monthly long and boring speech, except this time it was mostly about the situation with the Seelies, which concerned Alec of course, but he had already heard it all when he was in Idris with Izzy. So, he couldn’t deny that he zoned out several times during the speech. Jace wasn’t there, probably still knocked out and Underhill sat in his usual spot to his left.

He stared ahead, completely in thoughts. Thoughts about Magnus, thoughts about last night. They had sex, finally. It wasn’t what he expected to happen when he returned to be honest, but it was a pleasant surprise, more than pleasant. Also, he didn’t expect Magnus to be so active in his first time with a man, so sure in his movements, he definitely knew how to fuck, that man was made for sex. Experienced or not, it couldn’t have been more perfect. Alec snapped out of his daydream when someone bumped his shoulder.

“You don’t seem quite focused.” Underhill whispered with a smile.

“I’ve had a short night, ‘this all.” Underhill looked at him quite a bit too intense and then looked ahead too.

“I have, ehm- I have deleted the records of the night.” Alec squinted his eyes, trying to understand what the man was talking about and then looked back aside to him with a frown.

“What records?”

“The footage…of, ehm.” He stuttered and Alec looked around completely confused. “The ops center.” Underhill added and cleared his throat.

Alec’s eyes widened as he saw Underhill’s red cheeks. The footage of the ops center? Cameras…Shit! The security cameras! The…oh god. No. Alec shook his head in disbelief and Underhill had the decency to avert his eyes.

“You didn’t.” Alec gasped and now Underhill shook his head eagerly.

“No! I didn’t watch it, I mean I had to this morning, it’s my job but I fast forwarded as soon as I saw what was going on.” He stammered and Alec hid his face in his palms and groaned, gaining him a few odd looks from the people present.

“There is nothing to be ashamed about Alec.” Alec groaned again.

“Stop. Please. Just stop.” He really didn’t want to hear any of that. He saw. Underhill saw them fuck. Not only that but he saw where and how, how Alec was draped over the table and fucked by Magnus. Maybe even him jerking off after on it. Oh god. This was not happening.

“I am sorry.” Underhill whispered with regret in his voice.

“Thank you for deleting it.” Alec whispered back into his hands and then straightened himself, keeping his eyes somewhere else. He would never look at him again, ever. He needed a new Head of security. He needed a new Institute. He needed a new country.

“You are welcome.” Underhill straightened himself too and Alec stared ahead with his eyes wide open. He hoped Underhill was saying the truth and that he fast forwarded and didn’t watch the whole thing. I mean it was free gay porn. Oh god, he fucking watched it.

“Everything all right?” Izzy asked, leaning over without looking to him. “You look like you saw a ghost.” Alec shook his head, mortified.

\---

[Alec Lightwood – 8:21am] I have something to tell you, we have been watched. Underhill saw the camera footage of last night. He deleted it. Just so you know.

[Magnus Bane – 8:28am] I am sorry, I passed out for a second. Well, he already saw me naked, it was only a matter of time before he saw the next step.

[Alec Lightwood – 8:28am] How can you be so calm, I am horrified.

[Magnus Bane – 8:29am] I think I did quite well.

[Alec Lightwood – 8:30am] You are an idiot.

[Magnus Bane – 8:32am] This idiot lay the Head of the Institute, on camera.

[Magnus Bane – 8:32am] Sorry.

[Alec Lightwood – 8:32am] The Head of the Institute should teach you a lesson later.

Magnus flinched as he read the message but quickly shove the negative thoughts aside and focused on the fact that this was Alec. His Alec. He was…was he sexy talking to him? He felt his cheeks heat up as he read the message for the third time. He still sat in bed where he had read a book before to distract himself from his arousal. He slithered down the headboard a bit and read it a fourth time. Was he supposed to answer the same way? Or ignore? Or agree?

[Magnus Bane – 8:34am] I think so too. I still need to learn a lot.

[Alec Lightwood – 8:34am] Oh you do and I can’t wait to show you. But first I should teach you how to speak to authorities.

Magnus felt his lips quirk up.

[Magnus Bane – 8:35am] I do like you in your Shadowhunter mode.

[Alec Lightwood – 8:35am] You do? I could leave the suit on.

Magnus eyes widened as he peeked over the covers with his eyes, that was pulled up to his chin by now. He really liked him in that suit. And he did enjoy his authoritative behaviour a lot. Only the thought got him semi hard again. Having sex with Alec in his suit, in his office, was- he shuddered.

[Alec Lightwood – 8:37am] Are you touching yourself?

[Magnus Bane – 8:37am] No, Alexander. Shouldn’t you be working?

[Alec Lightwood – 8:38am] I am thinking about you in bed half naked while listening to the Clave members and still keep a straight face. That takes a lot of effort, it’s hard work Magnus.

[Magnus Bane – 8:38am] I bet. I wish you were here. Concentrate now Shadowhunter. I will see you later.

Magnus jumped off the bed and grabbed his spell book, trying to clear his head with some training. He threw the book aside with a sigh once he was done an hour later and then went outside, he strolled through the institute until he stood at the meeting hall, he peeked inside quietly and saw a few elder people on the stage, giving a speech while the Shadowhunters listened.

Alec was in the front row, leaning on his knees, Izzy beside him with her legs crossed. They looked rather annoyed and Magnus was glad that he doesn’t have to be part of that. He closed the door again and then made his way to the cafeteria to grab something to eat, Eva had been so nice to leave him something in the kitchen in case he missed a meal.

And yes, he grabbed a plate with two marmalade toasts off the shelf and an orange juice. That insanely sweet lady. Magnus went into the cafeteria and ate and drank in silence until someone slumped into the chair in front of him. Magnus looked up and inhaled sharply. A puffy eyed Jace stared back at him through half closed lids, eyebags below them, his lips chapped.

“Oh wow, you look-“ Magnus began and then grimaced. “Like shit.”

“Thank you. I feel like it too.” He snatched one of Magnus toasts, though he did it in slow motion, it was probably the fastest he could muster. Magnus let him. “What happened yesterday?”

“You sang a lovely ballad I heard.” Jace groaned and let his head slam down against the table. Magnus giggled into his glass of orange juice. “You also missed the meeting.” Magnus said before taking another bite. “How unfortunate for you.” Jace snorted.

“I bet. I usually fall asleep at those. I think they can do without me for once.” Magnus nodded. “How did you get home? I don’t remember anything from last night. Why are you so happy and-“ he gesticulated. “Sparkling.”

“Sparkling?” Magnus laughed.

“Yeah, you don’t look like me. Why don’t you look like me? Oh right, magic. Yeah. Good for you.” Jace ate for a while and then broke the silence again. “I felt something really odd yesterday night, I awoke and thought I was going to throw up, but the feeling turned into flutters in my stomach and I felt it tingle all over. It was insane.” Magnus looked up at him.

“At what time?”

“I don’t know, around 2 or 3.” Magnus froze mid-chew and put his toast down.

“Interesting…you clearly drank too much.” Magnus scratched his ear with his middle finger and averted his eyes.

“I got really horny then and humped Clary like a mad man.” Magnus shifted his eyes to Jace, wishing he had overheard this. Obviously, the bond got him aroused. Clary had said he didn’t feel much of it. It seems he does, or maybe it was a very intense feeling for Alec, so much that it swept over to Jace. Magnus smiled to himself as he thought about this.

“Lucky her.” Magnus stretched his arm and placed his palm in front of Jace forehead who looked startled; Magnus pulled his hand back slowly, a shimmer of blue magic following the motion until it vanished. Jace blinked his sudden wide-awake eyes and looked around.

“Oh wow. Thanks. I would definitely be drinking every day if I could do that.” He barked; his eyebrows raised before laughing, Magnus chuckled along.

“You already drink a lot.” Magnus whispered and Jace shrugged, before he licked his lips and looked up at Magnus a little guarded.

“Did you tell Alec? About yesterday?” Magnus froze and put his orange juice down.

“I did not…yet.” Their eyes met for a brief second.

“He has to know Magnus. Promise me you will tell him. Those bastards deserve to be punished and we can’t do that without Alec, besides he should know.”

“I will, at the right time.” Magnus said and got up from the table.

“Thank you…for the-“ he gestured to his forehead and Magnus nodded kindly.

“Of course, that’s the least I can do.” Magnus turned around to get rid of his tray and then left.

\---

Magnus sat in the library, leaning against the head of an old bookshelf, a paper and pen in hand, his head leaning against the shelf. There was something he had to do, he needed to do and it was hard for him to voice this, he didn’t want Alec to misunderstand again. He looked down at his almost blank paper and reread the first words. ‘Dear Alexander,’ He pursed his lips while flipping the pen against his thigh.

‘Dear Alexander, I have only known you for a few weeks now but I feel that we have this very strong connection, I hope you feel the same,’

Magnus stared at the lines with a grimace and then turned the page around.

‘Dear Alexander, I am a very traditional guy,’

He flipped the page once more and began a little lower with a sigh.

‘Dear Alexander, this ain’t easy to say, but last night was something very special to me and I hope you feel what I feel.’

He groaned and crumpled the paper into a ball, tossing it aside carelessly and then snapped another paper into his lap. Why was this so hard?

He hated not knowing what they were and the fact they now had sex with each other didn’t make it better. He didn’t just want to be a number on Alec’s list, not after everything they had shared and he knew, he felt that Alec liked him just as much as Magnus liked him too, or maybe even loved?

Magnus had realised that he felt love towards the Shadowhunter a while ago, but never really had the courage to tell him, because it was in fact frightening him. He hadn’t opened up his heart in decades. And why should Alec agree? To be the boyfriend of a Warlock. He surely had better options as a famous and looked up to Shadowhunter.

No, he needed to talk to him personally. He needed to show him how much he meant to him, to make him understand. As frightening as it was, especially since it went south the last time he tried to talk to him, but he had to do this. He turned his paper and wrote one last sentence.

He pushed himself to his feet and then walked through the corridors, his hand in his pocket, holding the letter while he headed for Alec’s office. He didn’t need to knock, he knew that Alec was at the meeting, so he quickly made his way to the desk and put the paper down.

He quickly left the office again and then went outside to get some fresh air into his lungs; he felt the stinging cold hit him as soon as he left the Institute with only his long sleeved pullover, but it cleared his head instantly, his nerves calmed down and this was exactly what he needed. He walked down the path to his usual spot in the garden, slightly trembling and snapped his fingers, having his earphones appear in his hands and plugged them in. He spent the next hour working on his magic while listening to some soothing Korean music to distract himself from what he was about to do later.

He almost jumped out of his skin the moment he felt arms wrap around him from behind and shot his eyes open; a thick, woollen and beige blanket slid around his shoulders and enveloped him, turning him into a wrap, the moment he felt Alec’s warm body against his back the tension fell off his shoulders and he melted back into the embrace, closing his eyes again.

Alec pulled the earphone out of his right ear. “Are you insane Magnus? It’s freaking cold.” He purred and then kissed his earlobe, wrapping his arms closer around the Warlock. Magnus chuckled and shook his head.

“The thoughts of you kept me warm.” He whispered back with a chuckle and then grabbed his phone and stopped the music, pulling his other earphone out. Alec nosed his ear gently.

“But you feel cold.” Magnus opened his eyes and then actually felt how frozen his body was, it seemed his love for Alec had created an illusion of warmth. His feet were ice blocks, his fingers trembling, but he didn’t want to admit that he was wrong so he concentrated on keeping his shiver at bay. Alec turned him around in his arms until their stomachs were flush, their faces mere inches away from the other.

“I got your note, you want to speak to me?” Alec asked and Magnus could hear his voice hitch, he looked nervous about what Magnus was going to throw his way and Magnus breathed in deeply. Okay, he thought they would do this later, he didn’t feel quite ready yet, but would he ever feel ready for this? Probably not. Magnus clenched his jaws and then looked up at Alec.

“Alexander. I have something to tell you…or ask you-” He began and Alec tensed even more. “It feels like we’ve known each other forever, I feel a very…deep connection towards you that I can’t quite explain-” Magnus said with a shaky voice and Alec pressed his lips together, not knowing where this was going. “You are amazing, I love everything about you, even your grumpiness-” Alec huffed.

“I am never grumpy.” Magnus chuckled.

“Don’t interrupt me. Please. This is hard enough.” Alec nodded, mouthing an ‘ok’ and rubbed his body gently to sooth his nerves even though he felt like a nervous wreck himself.

“I can’t imagine my life without you anymore and I- I don’t want to play around, I want this to be real. I want to take your hand and tell everyone that you are taken. I want to be-…more.” Alec’s lips parted and he looked from Magnus left to his right eye and back.

“Alexander, will you be my boyfriend?”

Alec stared at him at a complete loss of words and gulped, he wasn’t sure if he could speak right now so he nodded, his lips pressed tight together and his eyes teary.

“Yes Magnus. Yes.” He finally gasped and Magnus felt his heart throb, a rush running down his whole body. “If you are mine.” He added and Magnus could hear his voice break. Magnus blinked his eyes and sniffed, he would feel embarrassed about this if Alec wouldn’t look the exact same.

Magnus was sure that Alec couldn’t understand how much this meant to him, that Alec agreed to be his boyfriend, to be his. To be the boyfriend of a Warlock, from another dimension all the same, even though he was a Shadowhunter and the Head of the Institute. Alec didn’t seem to care about any of this, he just wanted Magnus. And the thought made Magnus heart pound fast, it took away his breath for a moment.

“Yes, of course. I want to.” He rushed and Alec’s face lit up like the sun before he leant down and pressed his soft lips against Magnus’ and Magnus could feel the tremble in his lips, he was clearly affected by this and it shouldn’t make him feel so amazing as it did. He welcomed his lips; they were almost painfully hot against his icy ones. Magnus moved his lips against Alec’s gently, lovingly and slow and it felt like sealing something, like a vow, it made his belly flutter with excitement. Alec pulled back, the smile back to his lips and pulled him even closer.

“My boyfriend.” Magnus whispered, tasting the word on his tongue. Yes. This was perfect. He had never thought he would have a boyfriend one day. Especially not a perfect one like this.

“I actually thought we are boyfriends already; you know I would never do such things with a stranger. I don’t do one night stands.” Alec’s voice was filled with amusement and a hint of love. Hearing those words actually meant a lot to Magnus, obviously Alec felt the same, they were on the same page when it came to relationships and sexual activities.

“I wasn’t sure.” Magnus whispered back, as if they were crowded by people when they were actually completely alone in the garden. Alec’s face showed pure adoration as he watched his Warlock wrap. Magnus felt the tension subside, his body slowly relaxing again. Alec agreed. Alec was his boyfriend.

“Come on, let’s get you inside.” Magnus snorted and Alec furrowed his brow, before he laughed. “I’ve created a monster.” Magnus felt his cheeks blush, which was even more obvious on his pale, cold face. He averted his eyes with a smile, feeling caught.

“When I am a monster, what are you? By now I am almost 100% sure your second name is Thirsty.” Alec laughed loud and shook his head.

“That is my third actually, Gideon is my second.” He said while they moved back into the Institute.

“Alexander Gideon Thirsty Lightwood. I like that.” Alec grabbed his hand and pulled him to their room before he unwrapped him, seeing Magnus tremble like a leaf in the wind.

Alec pulled off his own jacket and took off his shoes, before he opened the buttons on his shirt and Magnus watched him, wondering what the hell he was doing. Did he actually want to get Magnus ‘inside’ now? Alec looked up seeing the confusion on Magnus face.

“I thought we should take a shower, to get you warm.” Alec explained and Magnus gasped. Ah, right. Of course. Yes. Magnus nodded shakily and then grabbed the seam of his pullover, pulling it up and over his head and then opened his pants while he tried to keep an eye on his undressing boyfriend. His boyfriend. His. Boyfriend. Alec was already down to his boxers and then helped Magnus out of his pants. “What was going on in your head when you decided to go outside with only a pullover?” Alec questioned, shaking his head.

“Not much. Except you.” Magnus answered honestly, pulled his boxers down and then slowly walked into the bathroom in his naked glory. Alec followed him until they stood in the shower and Magnus turned on the water stream, feeling the hot liquid slam against his skin like drops of lava, he lowered his head and felt every inch of his body heat up, painfully so, but the tremble subsided fortunately.

Alec popped open a bottle and squeezed the gel into his hands before he rubbed it onto Magnus back who closed his eyes and leant against the shower wall tiles for support as the Shadowhunter covered his whole skin with shower gel.

Magnus breathed slow and deep, enjoying this quite a lot, until he felt Alec’s hand shimmer down to his abdomen from behind and the press of his body to his back. A ripple of excitement ran through his body. Magnus opened his eyes, looking down on himself, Alec had halted for a few seconds and then lowered his hand further and Magnus watched Alec’s hand snake around his soft cock, watched how he carefully spread the bodywash on Magnus parts and it felt soft and wet, it felt too good, his dick instantly hardened in Alec’s hands and he closed his eyes again, not wanting to see this, could his body just not, maybe once. He was only washing you.

Alec kissed the back of Magnus neck and he felt goosebumps spread all over his body, a quiet humming escaping his throat. Alec gave his hardening dick a few lazy strokes and messaged his balls with the other hand before he pulled both away again. Magnus turned around and looked up, a little shy smile on his face before he looked down on Alec; seeing his hard cock pointing straight up, oh thank god.

He grabbed the bottle of shower gel and then repeated the gesture, spreading the jelly like liquid on Alec’s strong, hairy body until he was covered in foam. He tentatively reached forward and stroked his dick, for the sole purpose of washing it of course. Alec leant his head back and rolled his eyes shut while Magnus kept messaging his length slowly and lazy, he reached down to his balls and palmed them gently, listening to Alec’s soft gasping.

“Hey Alec, did you see my phone? I fucking lost it.” Jace voice pierced the silence as he yelled from the bedroom and Alec and Magnus jolted away from each other instantly.

“Fuck! Jace! Can’t you knock?! ONCE.” Alec yelled towards the door.

“What’s the problem man? Oh…wait-”

“Hello Jace.” Magnus introduced himself into the discussion and he could swear he heard a shriek outside the room before the door closed loudly. Alec rolled his eyes and then looked at Magnus almost apologetically but he only shrugged with a smile. “Don’t worry, I am used to this by now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There was a lot of talking in this one and fluff all the way! Boyfriends huuuuuuuuuuuuuh? 😍 Woot! Alec finally got it and Magnus, you brave one! Also, they just can't keep their fingers off each other eh? 😏 And I guess Underhill is going to be replaced soon 😂 Jace, being his usual cock-block self. Hope you enjoyed this one! Thanks so much for all the comments and kudos on the last chapter!


	39. Chapter 39

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Don’t worry. You are my boyfriend, remember? I am not going to hide you.” Magnus felt his heart do a flop. Did he mean that? He felt his chin quiver and wanted to throw his arms back around Alec, but refrained himself from doing so. “If you are okay with it?” Alec added, knowing that Magnus might be shy about this still.
> 
> “I would like that…” He said softly and then chuckled. “But maybe we don’t, ehm, overdo it.” Alec snorted.
> 
> “Hey, what do you think of me? That I would hump you in front of them?” Magnus shrugged cutely, not really sure about this and Alec slapped his thigh, feeling offended.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://ibb.co/g9YnwfJ)   


Magnus sauntered through the corridors giddily, like he is running on endorphins when he passed the ops center, a stray look darted to the main computer table in the middle of it and he shouldn’t dwell on the images the table brought up in his mind, he is not too keen on walking around with a boner, thus threw himself the other direction to walk to the cafeteria for dinner.

He slithered down to sit gracefully and pressed his lips into a line, trying to hide the wide smirk while observing the redhead in front of him. Clary lifted her eyebrows to her hairline with the very same expression on her face, trying hard to understand what was going on. But she could tell it was something naughty from the sparkle of his eyes.

“Did you have a good day?” She asked cheekily, putting much emphasis on the ‘good’ and Magnus let his eyebrows dance for a moment before he began to eat the lovely smelling lasagna. Alec sits down next to Magnus after a little visit to his office, not as graceful, more of a sack falling and then shovelled the food into his mouth. Magnus watched him with disgust before Alec gave him a shrugging shoulder. Both smiled shyly and then continued eating.

“Did you finally have sex?” Both choke on their food the moment Jace voice words tumbled out shamelessly.

“What the-? Jace!” Alec scolded and hit his shin, Jace mouthed an ‘Ouch’ and rubbed his leg roughly.

“Sorry, I just. You seemed like I disturbed something earlier and you definitely look like it.” Alec stared at him mortified while Magnus tilted his head down in a lousy attempt to hide his blushing face.

“Baby, come on, let us go somewhere else. ANYWHERE else.” Clary suggested and grabbed her boyfriend under the arms, pulling him off his chair before sending Magnus an apologetical look. He nodded thankfully and Clary gave him a little wink which made him blush even more. Once they were gone Magnus and Alec sat beside each other, an awkward silence between them.

“I am so sorry Magnus.”

“No, I am sorry, I shouldn’t have talked with Jace and Simon about this.” Magnus shook his head with regret in his eyes and Alec’s mouth gaped.

“What? You talked with Jace and Simon about this? When? Why?” The words tumbled out of his mouth and Magnus gasped as he realised, he hadn’t told Alec yet.

“Ehm, we- when we went to the Hunter’s Moon yesterday. He- ah well, never mind.” Magnus stuttered and looked at his plate again.

“I just didn’t picture you talking about our sex life.” Magnus looked back aside. Oh boy, if Alec only knew.

“I didn’t want to, Jace started it and it- we were drunk…“ He paused again and Alec quickly grabbed his hand below the table, squeezing it.

“I understand. I know how he can get; I just hope he didn’t make you uncomfortable. If so, tell me and I make him swallow my boots. With his ass.” Alec tensed and Magnus snorted, brushing his lips with his fingers to hide the laugh. He squeezed him back with the other.

“No, it’s all right. I am used to this by now, kind of. Jace was really nice to me the past days, he took care of me when I was sick, he brought me water and food, made my bed, made sure I got enough fresh air and showered me-“

“Stop right there.” Alec interrupted and held his hand up. “What do you mean he showered you?” Magnus groaned; he only made this worse.

“He just helped me into the shower, I felt horrible and couldn’t walk straight. I cleaned myself if that is what you want to know.”

“But he still saw you naked?” Magnus opened and closed his mouth a few times.

“He did, is that a problem?” Alec pressed his lips together and Magnus could see how he pursed them, the clenching of his jaw, he looked fashionably pissed.

“No.” He pressed out, the tone a bit too high and Magnus could tell he was lying right away. He could almost see his face turn green with jealousy.

“Alexander, I am not interested in your brother and I doubt he is interested in me, you have nothing to fear.” Magnus whispered while stroking his thumb over Alec’s hand in soothing circles.

“I know, it’s not that. I just- I just don’t like the thought that someone else see’s you naked, that isn’t me.” Magnus smiled lovingly.

“Then I probably shouldn’t tell you about the day Raphael watched me dress after shower.” Magnus laughed a little ridiculously and Alec’s eyes almost fell out of their sockets. Alec looked forward in horror, his mouth wide open, obviously trying to process Magnus’ words.

“I am going to kill them both.”

“You can’t possibly kill everyone that saw me naked.”

“Watch me.” Alec challenged.

“Like nobody ever saw you naked Alexander.” Magnus laughed about his behaviour, not unkindly and Alec shook his head.

“No, nobody did, except my partner.” Alec said seriously and stared Magnus in the eyes who gulped heavily.

“Ah.” He nodded a little shaky and then looked back at his now cold food. “Then…I am sorry. Really.” He looked back at Alec with soft eyes. “I am new to this, I never saw guys as…potential partners you know, so I have been walking naked around them all my life, I have never been shy with my body. I will try to stay clothed around them in the future, if it bothers you.”

Alec blinked his eyes a few times and then suddenly felt a little stupid for his childish outburst. But still, he felt better knowing that, he really didn’t want to share Magnus, not even the sight of him. Not with another guy.

“Thank you.” He whispered and Magnus squeezed his hand once more. “I am glad he took care of you and I am deeply sorry I wasn’t there for you myself.”

“It wasn’t your fault Alec, it was only a cold, I managed.” He said with a laugh, obviously hiding the fact how awfully he managed it, he was a whiny mess, but Alec didn’t need to know that.

“Magnus there is something else I wanted to talk to you about. Clary had told me about the phone call with Catarina, that you try to work on your magic, try to make portals and I assume you want to help Catarina somehow. Why didn’t you tell me about this?” Magnus listened intently and then licked his sudden dry lips, he didn’t expect this topic to come up now.

“Just that we are clear, I trust you Alexander and that I didn’t tell you about it doesn’t mean anything, I simply didn’t know how you could help me with the matter, Clary can do portals and she was my first choice to ask. She made the suggestion about Lorenzo that you denied to me, which was- ehm I felt a little disappointed you wouldn’t help me at first. But then you gave me the Book of the White and I realised you do in fact want to help me.” Alec furrowed his brows while listening.

“I am sorry you felt that way, I just want to protect you Magnus. I know Lorenzo quite well.” Magnus nodded.

“You locked the file.” He said, carefully and looked into Alec’s eyes, who looked a little startled, like he was caught.

“How do you know that?” He returned and tensed a little, Magnus inhaled deeply, pondering what to tell Alec.

“I wanted to get his address from the database and asked Underhill to help me, we saw that you locked the file after our talk about Lorenzo.” Magnus said, feeling a little ashamed about it. Alec looked at him seriously and Magnus could see exactly what he was thinking. Why did he look into the database after Alec said no. Why did he go behind his back and talked to Underhill? Why didn’t he tell him? Why didn’t he trust his judgement? How did he unlock the computer? Alec looked confused.

“I was afraid someone else would look into the database to get the information for you. I didn’t actually think you would try it.” Now Magnus could see a hint of hurt in his eyes and he hated it with his whole heart.

“I am sorry.” He gasped immediately, hoping Alec forgave him. “I didn’t know what to do, I need to help Catarina, she is held hostage at the Spiral Labyrinth because of me, she lost her powers and- I just- I can’t help her Alexander.” Magnus suddenly ranted, his words turning into a desperate whine at the end.

“Wait. Magnus.” Alec quickly turned to him fully and grabbed both his hands. “Look at me. Breathe.” Magnus blinked his eyes, feeling utterly useless at the moment. He had managed to do a portal once, only once and it vanished almost immediately. “That’s it.” Alec said after Magnus calmed a little, his breath steadier. “Now, start from the beginning, why do they keep Catarina? And why didn’t you tell me? I might not be a Warlock but I am still the Head of the New York Institute and I have powers Magnus, even if not magical.”

Magnus nodded and swallowed hard. “I know. I should have told you. They think that she was involved in whatever happened to me, that she used magic she wasn’t allowed to and messed with the dimensions at least that is what I think, she was not very specific. They don’t believe her that a Shadowhunter could do such a thing and now try to find out the truth.”

The truth. Alec inhaled sharply. The truth. Alec looked into his vulnerable, big, brown eyes and suddenly realised he still hadn’t told him the truth after telling himself he should, he had shoved it aside once more. Magnus couldn’t find out this way, he shouldn’t. He knew that he had to be the one telling him about this. He blinked his eyes and swallowed the thoughts down.

“I will look into this okay, I will see what I can do, don’t worry, we will help her, together. Magnus you can talk to me about anything, okay? Please don’t keep such things from me and in the meantime, work on your magic the best you can.” Magnus nodded and then darted forward, almost falling into his arms and Alec gasped before he wrapped his arms around him, stroking his back while he eyed the other Shadowhunters in the Cafeteria, most minded their own business, this was no unusual sight to them.

“Sorry.” Magnus suddenly breathed and let go off Alec. “I forgot where we are.” He whispered and Alec smiled at him.

“Don’t worry. You are my boyfriend, remember? I am not going to hide you.” Magnus felt his heart do a flop. Did he mean that? He felt his chin quiver and wanted to throw his arms back around Alec, but refrained himself from doing so. “If you are okay with it?” Alec added, knowing that Magnus might be shy about this still.

“I would like that…” He said softly and then chuckled. “But maybe we don’t, ehm, overdo it.” Alec snorted.

“Hey, what do you think of me? That I would hump you in front of them?” Magnus shrugged cutely, not really sure about this and Alec slapped his thigh, feeling offended.

“Shush you…or I will really do it.” Magnus smiled widely, his face splitting in half and a little blush around his nose. “I will leave you to it now, my office is calling.” Alec whispered and leant forward, placing a little kiss on the tip of Magnus flushed nose. “I will see you later.” Alec got up and then left while Magnus couldn’t fight his smiling lips down, his cheeks almost hurt. Oh man, he was so in love with that guy, it was insane. He turned to his cold lasagna and ate the rest, he felt too good to mind it.

\---

Magnus got out of the shower, cleaned, shaven and smelling like a walking sandalwood tree. It was already past 11 and Alec was still at work, unfortunately. But he wanted to be prepared when he returned, be prepared for whatever would happen. Well, maybe Alec was too exhausted, but- he said whatever, whenever and also that he would make it up to him, so he was fairly certain the Shadowhunter was up for it. He eyed himself in the long mirror, every curve, muscle, slope, limp and corner of his body and then nodded.

He jumped onto the bed enthusiastically, flopped over onto his back and then waited. And waited. And waited. And groaned. He reached aside and opened the messenger on his phone before he put it back again, he didn’t want to come across needy. He looked down on his naked self, spread out on the bed like a gift. Well. That ship has sailed.

What if he didn’t come at all? What if he slept at Jace’s again and was already asleep? What if he went on a mission? Oh please no. He slithered down the bed, frustrated. Alec wasn’t coming. He never did when it was so late already, he never wanted to wake him. Why did he have to be so damn nice? Well. He shrugged internally and then closed his eyes while sliding his hand over his own chest, if Alec wasn’t there, he could at least imagine he was.

He stroked his pecs with his right palm and gave his nipples a few lazy circles with the tip of his finger, feeling them harden and his breath pick up, he pinched them lightly, knowing Alec would do that and bit down on his lower lip. He placed his other hand on his stomach and roamed it over his abs, giving his upper body the pleasure it deserved and melted into the bed below him.

He caressed the region where his navel should be and imagined Alec hovering over him giving him soft kisses on it as he always did and then let it travel down the V on his abdomen and down between his quickly hardening dick and thigh while he pulled his heels further to his body and placed them on the bed, spreading his legs a little. He ran his fingertips up the inside of his thigh to his knee and back down the front.

His breath got stronger and jerkier with each second and he felt a pleasant tingle cursing through his whole body. He put a little more pressure in his ministrations than he usually would to imitate Alec’s strength and calloused hands that he loved so much. Once his left hand reached his hips, he ran it back up his abs and felt them ripple below his fingers, he stroked his palm up between his pecs and to his throat while leaning his head back. Alec loved to play with his throat.

His right hand tentatively wandered down his body and to his soft balls, he cupped them both and played with them lazily, rolling them between his fingers and palm and gasped. His left fingers stroked up over his chin to his lips and he sucked them into his mouth, wetting them before he released them again and put them back on his hard nipple, rolling it with his pointer finger.

“Shit.” He murmured to himself and let out a desperate huff of air which edged on a laugh, what was he doing here and when had this become so much better, imagining it was Alec just doubled the pleasure in an instant. He brushed the base of his cock with his thumb and then reached for it, feeling how hard it already was, it hovered over his abdomen, pointing towards his face in a light curve. He wrapped his hand tightly around his throbbing length and stroked it upwards, tight and slow until he reached the head and then pushed his foreskin back down to lay the head free.

He let his thumb rub over the sensitive rim of his head, to the lower side of it and pushed it upwards with pressure until the tip of his thumb dipped into his leaking slit. A tremble ran through his thighs and he pushed his feet down on the bed with more strength to hold them up. He parted his lips and moaned quietly as he began to rub his hand in a tight fist below his head, a shiver immediately rushing through his body coming from his groin.

He widened his playground and tugged on his full length in tight but slow strokes, running his hand up and down while his stomach abs tightened; he bucked his hips up and into his hand with every stroke downwards and moaned desperately. Fuck. This. Was. Too. Good. Alexander…

Magnus froze and shot his eyes open, staring up at the ceiling as he heard someone clear their throat on his left side. He closed his eyes again, wishing he would just vanish and melt into the bed but unfortunately nothing happened, he opened them again narrowly and then shifted them aside only to see a completely flushed and wild-eyed Alec standing near the door, an open mouthed smile on his lips.

“Fuck.” Alec whispered and then licked his upper lip after they had run dry completely. “I am glad I couldn’t come earlier I must say. That was hot.” Magnus pressed his lips together. Yes. Alec was his boyfriend and yes, he had seen his body before but- he just didn’t expect this, this was an intimate moment and honestly, he didn’t really know how to behave now. Stop? Pretend nothing happened? Continue?! Alec looked like he wanted to devour him from tip to toe but didn’t move an inch and Magnus realised with a thick gulp of his suddenly dry throat, that Alec was waiting for him to continue.

Magnus ran his slightly shaking hand back down his dick and up again, seeing the way Alec’s eyes immediately flickered down. He repeated the gesture again and again with more pressure while his hand became steadier and brushed his other palm over his pecs. He felt his body relax once more; okay this wasn’t so hard. This was okay, he could do this. He actually enjoyed the way he could mesmerise Alec like this, he looked completely out of it and Magnus saw the way he rolled his hands into fists over and over again like he wanted to grab something, to do something.

Alec set his body into motion and closed the distance slowly until he stood at the end of the bed and Magnus looked down at him through his open thighs and felt his heart pound against his ribcage roughly, he concentrated on his own hand to not freak out. Alec had never seen him from that angle, it was a little awkward. Alec reached for his jacket and brushed it off his shoulders to reveal his dark grey button down shirt, he threw it aside and looked down on himself and then back up with a smirk obviously deciding to leave the rest on.

Magnus sucked in a breath and swallowed hard. Oh shit.

Alec placed his knee on the bed and then leant forward, placed his arms on the bed and toed himself off his shoes effortlessly before he crawled closer, never leaving Magnus face with his hungry hazel eyes. He stopped as his shoulders reached Magnus’ knees and Magnus felt his knees twitch inwards for a second, the urge to close them but then spread them a little further while he tugged on himself more roughly at the sight. Why was he so fucking hot? Why did he have to look at him like that? Fuck.

Alec let his eyes wander down Magnus sweaty body to his groin and back up, memorising every little inch and then granted him one of his illegal lopsided smiles. Magnus threw his head back with a groan and closed his eyes. Alec placed his warm palms on his thighs and brushed them up and down a few times before he put some more pressure on them, spreading them further, he knew Magnus was flexible and wouldn’t hurt him. Magnus kept his eyes closed, not really wanting to see Alec hover there again or the way he now saw it all.

Magnus threw his arm over his face and breathed into the crook of it before he lowered his dick down and angled it into the direction of Alec’s face, glad Alec wouldn’t see the blush on his cheeks right now as he was silently asking for Alec to suck him. Magnus heard a little huff of air coming from Alec and didn’t know if he laughed or was annoyed, he hoped the first, even though it wasn’t much better.

“Urghhhhhh.” Magnus groaned and bit into his arm as he was suddenly enveloped by the soft inside of Alec’s cheeks without a warning, he slid into his mouth and to the back of it while he felt his raspy tongue slide over his vein until he was completely inside Alec’s mouth. “Fuck…oh god.” Magnus groaned and tightened the grip on the base of his cock where he felt Alec’s warm breath dance over his fingers. In a second of boldness, Magnus lowered his arm and looked down at Alec only to see him look up with a smile in his eyes and his mouth full of dick.

Oh, that was a fucking mistake. Magnus let his head flop back and squeezed his eyes shut again as he felt Alec swallowing the precum down. He felt his dick and balls throb, this felt so fucking good. Shit.

Alec lifted his head again and kissed the tip with pressure. “Open your eyes Magnus.” Magnus groaned in frustration and arousal at the command and then did as he was told and looked back down to the Shadowhunter in his suit. In his fucking suit. Alec stuck out his tongue and circled it over the rim of Magnus’ head while his hot breath rushed down his wet dick. Magnus mouth went slack. Alec let his tongue flicker over the underside of his tip and lapped at his slit while his hungry eyes never left Magnus.

Magnus shook his head desperately trying to keep his eyes open for Alec, but it was so hard, he felt the urge to clench his eyes shut and get lost in the pleasure and watching Alec do this was unbearable, he had to squeeze his base almost painfully tight to not cum. Alec’s red lips slid over his tip only and he began to suck on it in a steady rhythm, not moving his head at all while he worked his jaw as if trying to coax something out of his slit while his tongue pressed against his underside. Magnus felt the tension in his dick increase and it began to tingle.

“Oh god…Ale…oh…god.” He stuttered and felt his balls draw up to his cock, his abdomen tightening when Alec let him go with an obscene and loud plop. His throbbing dick slapped against Magnus stomach, his tip bright red and wet. Magnus threw his head back and groaned frustrated, while he almost ripped the sheets below him. He heard a quiet chuckle coming from below and felt the urge to kick him in the face. He was so close and Alec fucking stopped. “Why.” Magnus whined.

“I wanted to try something else tonight, if you let me.” Magnus opened his eyes once he caught his breath and then looked down between his legs again, the feeling of his orgasm was slowly subsiding which felt both pleasant and awful. “Can you continue for me?” He asked and Magnus furrowed his brow for a second but then saw Alec’s eyes drift to his dick and back up. Oh, he wanted him to jerk off again. Oh, okay. Yes.

“Yes.” Magnus said hoarsely and then began to jerk himself off again, slow and gently, his dick felt really sensitive at the moment.

He didn’t quite know why Alec wanted him to jerk off again, instead sucking him off, maybe he enjoyed watching him. Alec placed his palms on Magnus thighs again, below his knees and then suddenly, Magnus felt his bottom slid off the bed as Alec angled his legs towards his body. What the-? Magnus bucked and placed his feet back down on the bed, not really knowing what this was about.

“Hey. It’s okay. Trust me.” Alec whispered in a soothing tone.

“What are you doing?” Magnus whispered back. Of course, he trusted Alec, with all his heart but still he wanted to know what was happening.

“Let me show you.” What was he talking about? Magnus nodded, even though he didn’t really know what he was consenting to and began to concentrate on his dick again that was leaking on his fingers, he rubbed his skin gently, feeling it throb in his hand while Alec grabbed his thighs again and angled them to his abdomen, Magnus felt his body curl upwards, his ass in the air and felt more than irritated, exposed and confused at the moment, though the pleasure running through his dick and groin distracted him from it fortunately. This position was weird and highly intimate.

Alec dipped his head and Magnus felt him suck his balls into his mouth one after the other and bit down on his lower lip, tugging a little harder on his dick. Alec placed soft kisses down his perineum and Magnus was so wrapped up in the pleasure that he twitched violently as he felt Alec’s warm lips on his asshole. He clenched it so hard that it almost hurt. “Alexander!” Magnus sounded scolding as he stared at Alec who looked a little startled. “What the-?”

“Okay, this might seem a little awkward at first, believe me I know, but it feels really good. I am sure you will like it.” Magnus blinked his eyes a few times. This sounded ridiculous. How was this supposed to feel good? He wanted to kiss his asshole? Oh god. Please not. Magnus let out a shaky breath. He was not, was he? Why would he do that?

“I don’t know…” Magnus murmured. “Are you sure you want to do this?” Alec nodded enthusiastically and Magnus nodded too, though not as wild. “All right then.” He said with a shrug. Just roll with it, if Alec wanted to, let him, it’s his choice. Magnus concentrated on his erection. Yes, just jerk through it, maybe it will distract him from what was happening below.

Magnus gasped as he felt Alec lick over his asshole with the flat of his tongue and didn’t quite know where to place his current feelings. He did it again softly, gently and Magnus felt it tingle below his tongue, his hole twitched involuntarily, this felt so intimate and weird, he felt like pulling his hips away and pressing back down on his face, the mix of emotions was overwhelming him. But he had to admit that the awkwardness of this was still ruling. The stretch of his back and the weight of his own body added onto it.

“Relax, Magnus. I won’t hurt you, I promise.” Alec whispered and Magnus tried to unclench his ass, nope. It didn’t work. Alec stroked his thighs soothingly while circling his rim with his tongue. Magnus sucked in a breath sharply and then let out a moan, to his surprise. He pressed his mouth shut the moment it escaped. He felt the tension in his lower half subside with each second passing, the urge to run away, the instinct to push him off, it all faded away, he…relaxed. He didn’t know something like this could feel good.

Alec wiped over his hole with his wet tongue and Magnus tightened his grip on his dick once more, focusing on the spot below his head and jerked himself, fast, quick, rough. Fuck. Alec licked a little quicker, lapping at him while he hummed appreciatively which sent a low drum through his body. Alec’s grip on his thighs tightened as he flickered his tongue over his hole faster, he felt Magnus tensing up, in a good way, he felt he was enjoying this.

“Oh shit…Ale- Alexander.” Magnus squirmed in his hands, the growing tingle in his groin was almost overwhelming him, it was spreading and causing his muscles to tremble from the sensation and also the effort he put into his arm muscles, he couldn’t stop, he wouldn’t stop. He already saw the light; he needed that release that was already hovering above him.

His body tensed hard the moment Alec dipped his tongue into his ass and Magnus pressed his feet against Alec’s broad shoulders to steady himself as his back arched off the bed. “I’m cumming...fuck.” He gasped and felt Alec press his tongue in deeper, his eyes rolled to the back of his head as his dick exploded in his hand, sending ropes of thick cum over his own chest and face due to his position, his body spasmed and he felt his ass throb rhythmically. Alec leant back and placed his legs back down, stroking him in a soothing manner until Magnus relaxed again and just lay there completely boneless.

“I guess that’s a yes.” Alec whispered and then laughed. “Are you okay?” Magnus nodded, not able to say a word at the moment. He had to concentrate on breathing, thanks. Alec left the bed and came back with a warm, wet cloth and cleaned him gently, enjoying the way Magnus twitched at each touch, he loved him so oversensitive. He brought the cloth back and then returned with only his boxers and snuggled himself under the covers and against Magnus.

“That was…intense.” Magnus then rasped and Alec chuckled again. Magnus turned around, towards Alec and swung his arm over him. “That was…I don’t know what that was.” That was one of the fucking best orgasms of his life.

“It’s called rimming.” Alec helped in a low whisper.

“Rimming. Okay. Do you- do you want me to do that too sometime?”

“Only if you want to. I-I like it.” Magnus nodded, okay, this was pretty weird, but it felt extremely good and if it had the same effect on Alec, he would sure damn do that to him too. He didn’t know it was a thing until just now.

“Thanks for leaving the suit on.” Magnus smiled at him sheepishly.

“My pleasure.” Alec returned and then leant forward to kiss him, Magnus backed off a little at first, a bit afraid of what he would taste on his lips but there was nothing, just the taste of his lips, oh thank god. He leant forward and melted into the kiss, his lips were hot and lightly swollen from all the hard work and he loved to kiss them when they were like that. He sucked on his lower lip and let it flop out again.

“Good night my amazing, talented, beautiful boyfriend.” Magnus whispered and Alec let out a loud laugh, his face crinkling.

“Good night my powerful, dorky, stunning boyfriend.” Alec gave him another kiss and Magnus pressed his head under his chin, against his throat and collarbones and breathed in deeply, before drifting off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooooo, how about that. They tried something new and it seems Magnus quite liked it 😏 Alec certainly did 😎 wonder what they will try next time. And the boys finally had a long and much needed talk about all things unspoken, well maybe not all, but many, they're on a good path 😁 How could Alec help him, hm. I hope you enjoyed this smutty chapter! Thanks so much for all the comments and kudos on the last one!
> 
> PS. I will go on vacation soon, which means the next update will be next thursday!


	40. Chapter 40

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Ops center, Magnus. Quick.” She stuttered while catching her breath and Alec pushed his stool back and rushed out of the room and along the corridor in a jog to get to the ops center, he heard loud voices the closer he got and felt his heart pound against his ribcage, what the fuck was going on?! He just hoped that Magnus wasn’t hurt and- he froze again the moment he reached the room and took in the sight of the red flashing ops center.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://ibb.co/MGg6cw7)   


Magnus’ eyes opened slowly and his heart did a little flop when he focused on Alec sleeping in his arms, warm and comfortable, softly snoring. He lifted his hand and brushed a strand of hair off his forehead and smiled. He loved those days Alec slept in; he usually awoke alone. The sunlight shining through the curtains was lightening up his face, covering it with a warm, yellowish glow. He looked so soft and angelic. Which he was, he was an angel and, in those moments, Magnus was reminded of how special this was, their relationship. That he was with a Shadowhunter, of all kinds. It was astonishing. Ragnor would have snorted if he knew.

He wished his friend could have met this wonderful man. But maybe he did in this dimension. Though Magnus wasn’t sure if they would have gotten along, Ragnor had a special sense of humor and Alec was…something else. He wasn’t the most talkative and social when it came to strangers. But he was perfect anyways. Magnus leant forward and pressed his lips to Alec’s forehead and then peeled them off with a soft smack of his lips.

Alec blinked his eyes open, his long, black lashes fluttering gently. He sighed into the pillow and then robbed closer, Magnus instantly pulled him in and stroked his fingertips along his spine.

“Yesterday, that was…amazing.” Magnus whispered against his hair.

“Hoped so. I’m happy you liked it.” Alec whispered back a little raspy. “If you ever want to try it, my door is always open for you.” Magnus snorted loudly and Alec chuckled quietly.

“You are so selfless Alexander. I might take you up on that offer some time. I think I want to try it.” Magnus was quite grateful Alec couldn’t see his face right now.

“I would love that.” Alec murmured and Magnus kept teasing his sides with his fingertips and enjoyed the way Alec squirmed and tried to get away from his tingling fingers. His eyes swayed over to the drawer with the condoms and he inhaled deeply.

“Alexander, I- I wondered why you bought those condoms when you didn’t want me to use them when we actually did it.” Magnus tried to fight the blush down. Those sex talks were still getting him obviously. Alec slowly lifted his head to look at Magnus, to his dismay. He had to concentrate hard not to avert his eyes and look back at Alec.

“First of all, I wanted you to know what they are, I assumed you didn’t know and secondly I bought them for you, not for me.” Magnus frowned and tilted his head.

“But you didn’t want me to use one.” He parroted.

“No, I mean when I top you, we need them since it’s your first time and they are lubed, it’s easier that way.” Alec explained in a steady and calm tone, like it was obvious and completely normal.

“Top me?” Magnus blinked a few times, not really understanding what Alec was talking about.

“Oh, sorry, I mean when I am the one ehm- the one doing the-“ he stuttered. “When I am inside you. When we switch.” He finally settled on.

Magnus felt all blood rush out of his face, leaving him pale. Inside him? Switch?

“Also, I didn’t know if you want me to cum in you, not everyone likes that.” Alec added, a bit more careful now, but then pressed his mouth into a thin line as he saw Magnus’ former rosy cheeks turn white. “What’s wrong?”

Cum inside him? Magnus’ eyes widened without him actually realising, they were unfocused, his nostrils flaring, before he sat up, the covers pooling around his waist. Alec furrowed his brow and then followed him to a sitting position. “Magnus?” He asked carefully.

“I don’t understand. I thought that-I thought that we are good like this. I mean, I thought you are my…” Magnus blinked, not really knowing how to express his thoughts. He had understood that Alec was the gay one, that Alec was the receiving one, that they would be fucking like this always. He didn’t know much about gay couples but that was what he had heard how it works in his dimension. He had never even thought about it any other way until now. His ass clenched from the mere thought of something penetrating it.

“I am your what?” Alec asked a bit guarded.

“You want to fuck me?” Magnus then asked and Alec flinched for a second, he didn’t expect that question, but then tilted his head in confusion.

“Yes?” He said in slow motion like it was the most obvious answer. Both looked at each other, completely lost. He didn’t know how to say this, how to talk to Alec about this, he was a little speechless at the moment. Magnus looked down at the sheets between them and Alec let out a sigh as he realised the problem, at least what he thought was the problem. He reached forward carefully and placed his hand on top of Magnus’.

“Magnus, we won’t do anything until you are ready for it. I would never- I mean, I won’t force you into anything, you can take all the time you need.” Magnus swallowed roughly; his throat felt completely parched. Not only was he not getting the problem, but he talked like it was something he had no choice in and on top of all it was highly embarrassing.

Was that a thing? Was he supposed to do it that way? What if he was never ready? What if he didn’t want this? What if he didn’t like it? What if Alec would be angry? He made it sound like it wasn’t an option to say no. Did he even consider that Magnus might not want to? It didn’t sound like it.

“Magnus…talk to me.” Alec cupped Magnus’ cheek and brushed his thumb along his cheek.

“I have to-“ Magnus said and then got up, almost stumbling off the bed before he disappeared inside the bathroom. He closed the door behind himself and leant against it with his back, breathing deeply, in and out, in and out. The thought of having something in his ass made his stomach flutter and not in a positive way. Even the thought of Alec’s long fingers was slightly frightening, but his dick? Alecs dick was huge and Magnus way smaller, was he insane? Why would he ever agree to be torn apart?

He closed his eyes and hit the door with the back of his head. Of course, Alec wanted to fuck him too, he was a guy as well, this was probably something completely normal, the realisation just came a bit late and a little sudden, he felt utterly stupid for not having thought about this any sooner, now he looked like a complete fool. He shrieked and twitched away from the door as it knocked softly.

“Can you come out, please?” Magnus sighed, of course Alec noticed he was running away, he was too damn smart for his own good. Magnus filled his lungs with another deep charge of oxygen and then turned around, opened the door and stepped outside. Alec backed off a few steps, but still close enough.

“Sorry.” Magnus mumbled, not looking up.

“What happened? Did I say something wrong?”

“No such thing.” Magnus quickly assured him and looked up to see his deep frown. “I was just a little…I didn’t expect that.” Magnus explained lamely. Alec shuffled closer, reaching out for his elbow gently.

“Expect what? The topic?” Magnus searched his hazel eyes and hated to see that confusion on his face. He was being a dick. He was being ridiculous and childish. They were talking about sex for god’s sake, not some horrible demonic ceremony. Get yourself together.

“Yes, the topic, it was a bit much, I shouldn’t have-“

“If I said anything that made you uncomfortable then I am deeply sorry. I am used to talk open about such things and I- I sometimes forget you are not. I should have been more sensitive, please forgive me.”

“Alexander, please, there is nothing to apologize for. It’s not that- I can handle that.” Magnus gasped, rolling his eyes at himself and gesturing his hands in the air while he turned around to walk a few steps. “It was the- the ‘toping’ part.” Magnus whispered and then turned back around to face Alec with a slightly scared expression, he didn’t know what to expect from Alec now.

“Magnus I would never rush you; please believe me.” Alec said a bit desperately as he walked closer.

“I do believe you Alexander, it’s…” He sighed, his shoulders slumping. Why couldn’t he just say it? He feared his reaction, feared to see disappointment in his eyes. That he wouldn’t understand. What should he say? That he was afraid? Of the unknown? Of the pain? That was ridiculous, Alec let Magnus fuck him, he endured the eventual pain without a single complaint, he wasn’t afraid of anything, he just took it. After letting Magnus fuck him, it was highly unfair towards him to say he wouldn’t do that.

Alec gulped, his jaw pressed tightly together, Magnus could tell he was confused and also angry, with himself, it was awful.

“I was just a little surprised, that’s all. It’s alright. Really.” Magnus said soothingly and reached forward to grab Alec’s upper arms, stroking him gently and hoping he could make the furrow of his brow disappear. He didn’t like it one bit, but Alec kept it. His body was tense as if he looked right through his words and Magnus tried to make him believe, tried to smile as sincere as possible.

“Ok.” Alec said, looking from one eye to the other, Magnus had the unpleasant feeling that Alec didn’t believe him at all, but he decided to let it be and Magnus felt grateful for that, very grateful. He needed a moment to process this first.

“I am sure it will be wonderful once we do it.” Magnus heard himself say and cringed internally. Why was he saying this? He just wanted Alec to relax, to be happy.

Alec’s features softened then and he stepped forward, cupped Magnus cheeks and pulled him up before placing his warm and soft lips against Magnus’, it was a gentle press of the lips, loving and sweet but both savoured it, enjoyed each other’s taste, smell and body warmth. Alec leant back, but still lingered closely to his face, looking deep into his dark, sensual eyes.

“It will be wonderful.” Alec repeated in a soft voice, whispering against his lips and Magnus felt his body relax, leaning his face into Alec’s big hands, somehow he felt those words, felt that that even might be the truth, he noticed once more how much he trusted and loved Alec and that he would do anything for this man. Anything.

\---

Magnus and Clary strolled through the greenhouse later the day, the scent of moonflowers, angel’s trumpets, wolfsbane and other flowers filling his nostrils. It was comfortably warm in here and smelled like spring or like Idris as Clary mentioned, not that he could agree, he didn’t know what Idris smelled like, even though he was highly interested to visit that place someday.

“I am sorry for Jace’ behaviour at the cafeteria. I don’t know why he is always so insensitive.” She murmured while pulling her hair behind her ear and Magnus shrugged.

“It’s okay. He is just curious in his own…way.” Clary narrowed her eyes at him.

“Speaking of curious…” She smiled, pursing her lips before her eyebrow wiggled a few times. Magnus snorted, turning his red face away from her prying eyes.

“Well, yes…he was right.” Magnus murmured and scratched the side of his neck with his pointer finger. “We might have done things.” Clary shrieked next to him, making his body shiver from the shrill tone. She immediately clapped her hands together like a seal on drugs and darted into his arms.

“Oh my god! I am so happy for you! How was it? Tell me everything!” She rambled and Magnus peeled her off by her arm, bringing some space between them, if he was going to do this, he needed space. He inhaled deeply and then turned around, facing a wide eyed smiley face.

“It was…good.” Clary groaned and rolled her eyes. “Okay okay! It was amazing. It happened right after he returned from Idris, I awoke alone in my bed and saw his things so I went to find him and I did, he was in the ops center, still working, at 2am! Well, so ehm.” He began to stutter. “Then we…yes” he clasped his hands together in front of his chest.

“You what?” She asked, completely confused and then let out a noise of pure shock, her mouth wide apart. “YOU did it in the operations center?! In the middle of the Institute?” She almost screamed and Magnus grabbed her gently.

“Shhhhhhh! Not so loud.” He held up a finger and Clary slammed her hands against her mouth to calm herself.

“Oh my god…oh my god! Oh….Oh my god.” She said, looking around as if she was seeing things in front of her eyes. “How? Where?” She then asked and Magnus felt his blush increase and licked his lower lip.

“I- I might have draped him over the computer.” He whispered and Clary choke on her own saliva for a moment, before she coughed wildly. Magnus patted her back.

“Noooooooooo way.” She gasped out and straightened herself again. “You fucked him? On the table? Alec?!”

“Yes, Alec. Who else? Why is that such a shock?” He asked a little ashamed, but also confused.

“Well, I never imagined Alec would be okay with something like this. He…you know. He is rather broody, and serious and all rules and stuff. That he would do it on the damn computer table right in the middle of the Institute…wow.” Magnus shrugged with a shy smile. She clearly didn’t know Alec all too well, which was no surprise since they didn’t get along too good. That Alec was thirsty as hell and quite wild in bed would maybe be too much information for her, so he decently kept those things to himself.

“He was fine with it.” He just said, a fond smile playing on his lips as he remembered the moment. 

“And do you want to do it again?” She wiggled her eyebrows enthusiastically. Magnus let out a puff of hair in amusement.

“No, never. One time is enough. We will forever remember that moment and dwell in the memory.” He waved his hand around.

“Okay, that question was a little stupid. I admit. Maybe he is going to drape you over that table next time.” She chirped and elbowed him with a wink of her eyes. “I just hope I never stumble into this on a late night mission, I love you dearly but there are things I don’t have to witness.”

“Clary?” He asked and stopped walking before Clary turned around, raising her eyebrows.

“Hm?”

“Would you think it rude if I wouldn’t want this?”

“Wait, you lost me there, want what?”

“Alec draping me over the table.” He repeated her words and Clary squinted her eyes.

“Why is that rude? Not at all, just do it in the bedroom when you prefer that, I am actually no fan of public sex at all, so I understand.” Magnus gasped, rolling his eyes. Either he was constantly speaking in riddles or everyone around himself didn’t actually listen to him!

“No, not that. I don’t mind that. It’s the sex part. The…Alec fucking me part.” He mumbled, not knowing how else to explain this. Clary’s face cleared suddenly, like a light bulb went on.

“Oh! That. No, it’s not rude. It’s completely fine! It’s your choice and no one else’s Magnus. Is he- is he forcing you to do it?” She added, coming a step closer.

“No.” He clarified quickly. “He said he would wait until I am ready but, I don’t know if I ever will be, this was not something I had in mind, at all. Like…never. Maybe it just took me by surprise and I have to think about it some more.”

“Yes, I understand, this is new for you. I get it.” She said nodding her head and placed a hand on Magnus’, squeezing it lightly.

“Is it normal to…switch?”

“I don’t know…really, I am sorry. But I guess so? I suppose there are couples that are fine with only one way and others that switch. But I am no expert on that. Magnus there is no need to rush this, if you don’t want it, you won’t do it, just simple as that. Did you tell him how you feel about this?”

Magnus looked up with pursed lips, shimmying his shoulders a little embarrassed.

“Urgh! What is it with you guys! And I mean all of you! What is so difficult with talking? You really have to work on your communication.” Clary ranted, throwing her hands up and walked away, Magnus followed, moping.

“I’m trying.” He said a little loud and groaned as he reached her and she gave him a look. “I have told Alec everything about Catarina and my magic, the portals, everything. He is going to help me with it now. I wish she would call me back; I tried several times but she never picked up, I worry about her.”

“I understand. I do too. We will find her and get her out of their Magnus, you have to trust in Alec and don’t do anything…stupid. He will blame me for it.” She gasped and Magnus giggled lightly.

“Sorry. I don’t know why he always does that; you must have done something awful in the past that he dislikes you so much.” Clary whipped her head around and then pressed her lips together.

“I might have…or I might have not. I don’t think it was something awful, I think it was meant to be and I think I did him a favour, if he doesn’t see it that way then…well.” She shrugged and Magnus lay his arm around her shoulders.

“For what it’s worth. You are my favourite and I like you a lot biscuit.” Clary’s face lit up again.

“I like you too my caramel, soooooo much.” She pressed her lips against his cheek and Magnus rolled his eyes fondly.  
\---

Alec just finished his fire messages to the most trusted Warlocks he knew, before he sent them flying and sipped his coffee. It took him longer than he had actually planned, his mind constantly drifted off to different things, or more one thing, Magnus. Magnus had asked him to be his boyfriend, which was extremely cute and sweet and- he had no words for this. The young Magnus was his boyfriend, he was his very first boyfriend and this shouldn’t make him so proud. No, it should. His heart almost ached from how proud he felt.

Then there was the fact that they had sex, they actually had sex, in the ops center. Alec gulped, wishing that exact thought away, how could he ever agree to doing it in their fucking main lobby, a clear sign how desperate he felt after all those weeks, he will never be able to see the computer the same way as before, knowing he was fucked on it. And Underhill saw. Alec widened his eyes, feeling the cringe and shoved that aside as well.

Alec groaned at his own thoughts, when did he become so extremely thirsty. He felt like a sex driven whore, at least compared to Magnus. What did Magnus turn him into? Well, he could return the favour and he did last night. He loved that he could show Magnus all these things he had once learned from him. Make him have wonderful new and first experiences, with himself.

But he had to concentrate on Catarina now, that she was held there, ripped off her magic was startling him quite a lot and he wasn’t really sure how to help her. He wasn’t able to contact the Spiral Labyrinth himself but hoped that the other Warlocks could help him in his name, demanding answers, he needed to know what exactly was going on there, before he made any decisions.

And then there still was the matter with the Seelies, they kept their distance for now but he didn’t trust the silence, didn’t trust them. He was sure they had some secret agenda, that they would try anything and not knowing what it was made him nervous, awfully so. And he still needed to talk to Clary about his latest outburst and to Raphael about stalking Magnus naked, the Vampire clearly asked for it.

There it was again, he scrunched his eyes and nose, feeling the sting of his headaches, a throbbing pain right at his forehead. He sighed and leant forward, grabbing his pen again and going back to work. There was still a bunch of reports that needed to be written.

Alec almost jumped out of his skin when a loud alarm echoed through his room. He quickly grabbed his phone and called Underhill to see what was going on, but he didn’t pick up. His door was thrown open a second later, a Shadowhunter girl darting inside while panting heavily. Alec froze at the sight and waited for her to speak.

“Ops center, Magnus. Quick.” She stuttered while catching her breath and Alec pushed his stool back and rushed out of the room and along the corridor in a jog to get to the ops center, he heard loud voices the closer he got and felt his heart pound against his ribcage, what the fuck was going on?! He just hoped that Magnus wasn’t hurt and- he froze again the moment he reached the room and took in the sight of the red flashing ops center.

Three Shadowhunters hovered over the ground, holding Magnus down who lay flat on his belly and tried to get out of their grip, a few others standing around them, all in a fighting stance and ready to grab their weapons if needed.

“What is going on here?!” Alec almost shouted as he got into the circle of Shadowhunters and immediately rushed to Magnus. “Let him go right now!” One of them stood between Magnus and Alec, his face tense with anger.

“Boss, he attacked two of our Shadowhunters just now. He was out of control.”

“Magnus would never-“ He began and another one from the right interrupted him.

“It is true, we saw it. The alarm went off when Nolan and Ben came in, we don’t know why yet but before we had a chance to react the situation escalated, he attacked them with magic.”

Alec looked from one Shadowhunter to the other, completely confused and speechless, he didn’t want to believe this, he couldn’t. Why would Magnus ever do such a thing? It was Ben and Nolan, those little shits surely initiated it, attacked him first as they had done before. But he trusted his Shadowhunters too and everyone said the same. If he really attacked them first especially with magic, they had a right to hold him and there was not much he could do, if he followed the rules, but this was his boyfriend and he didn’t know what actually happened.

“Let him go.” Alec said again while straightening himself, towering over the smaller man.

“Boss, we can’t do that.” He at least had regret in his voice. They all knew what Magnus was to Alec but they followed their orders like the soldiers they were. They also knew that Magnus was no threat, normally.

Magnus felt the cold concrete below his body, his chest heaving roughly and rested his cheek on the ground, there was nothing he could do at the moment and he hated it, the feeling of being trapped, of being handled like a wild animal and he hated that he had lost his temper, it was like his mind just snapped when he heard the alarm go off and saw them enter the Institute like nothing had happened.

He felt fear, anger, hate, disgust, it overpowered him within seconds and his magic attacked them, protecting him before he even understood what was happening. Unfortunately, there were a few Shadowhunters around at the time and he was immediately tackled to the ground by three of them.

“Pull him up at least.” Magnus felt himself being pulled up to stand and took a deep breath, settling his eyes on Alec pleadingly and a little ashamed.

“I am-“ Magnus started but was rudely interrupted when Nolan stepped forward.

“He attacked me, see.” He said stretching out his arm with an obvious burnt opening on his jacket and shirt, his bruised skin visible. Alec looked at the wound and then back at Magnus with the same pleading eyes. He didn’t understand what was going on, he needed to speak to Magnus, alone. Magnus pressed his lips into a thin line as he watched the Shadowhunter interact with Alec with disgust.

“Magnus is this true?” Magnus turned his eyes back on Alec, what should he say? Yes, it was true. But- but… Underhill strolled closer, reluctantly and handed Alec a tablet, Alec lowered his eyes to the display, seeing the footage of the ops center. Alec watched how Magnus turned around, saw them- Alec’s eyes twitched as he saw Magnus stand in threshold and attack them like a maniac out of nowhere. 

He felt Underhill’s eyes on him and closed his mouth. No. This couldn’t be happening. Why? He couldn’t deny what he saw and he couldn’t understand it. There were witnesses and footage of Magnus attacking his Shadowhunters without them being a threat. It made no sense, but yet he did.

Magnus saw the fight behind Alec’s eyes, the mix of emotions. The wish to rush to his boyfriend and get him out of this mess but also the Head of the Institute that had to listen to his Shadowhunter’s complaints, that had to follow orders, that had to protect them at all costs, he could see how it tore him apart. He just hoped that he would follow his heart in the end and not his head.

“I need to speak with him, alone.” Alec said, seriously. The men looked at each other.

“He might attack again.” One said and Alec huffed in annoyance as he realised, they weren’t backing off. He came closer and stopped in front of Magnus and placed his hand on his side.

“Are you okay?” He whispered so only Magnus and the two Shadowhunters holding him could hear, even though they respectfully tilted their heads away. Magnus gulped heavily; his throat was completely dry.

“Yes.” He whispered back and had trouble holding Alec’s gaze. This situation was overwhelming him.

“What happened?” He asked and Magnus felt Alec’s thumb stroke his side gently. Magnus blinked his eyes, not really knowing how to explain this now and here, especially with the boys listening in and probably denying every word he would say.

“I snapped.” Magnus then said, honestly. It’s what happened. Alec searched his face for an explanation but there was none.

“Why?” Magnus heard the tone in Alec’s voice shift, from confusion to concern but also something that sounded like disappointment. Or maybe he just imagined it. “Did they say anything to you?” Alec inquired, whispering even quieter than before. “You have to tell me. Did they start this?” Magnus looked aside to the two boys with one of them averting his eyes while the other one smirked. They did yes, but not today, they didn’t do anything today.

Alec sighed; he couldn’t help Magnus if he didn’t help him first. He was sure that Magnus would never attack without a reason and knowing these guys they most likely said something, but also whatever the reason was, it couldn’t justify what he had done, there is no way attacking others with dark magic was okay, especially inside the Institute that is meant for Shadowhunters to feel safe.

“Magnus, you can’t attack Shadowhunters at the Institute.” Alec spoke softly, he knew he was scolding him but it was his duty to say it, this wasn’t okay. Magnus shifted his eyes to Alec, almost emotionless. Of course, he allowed Magnus to stay at the Institute and having him go crazy on his Shadowhunters wasn’t something he could allow, Magnus understood that, but besides that he was his boyfriend and had to stand by his side and not scold him in front of the others.

Alec saw the way Magnus trembled; he obviously didn’t like being held by the Shadowhunters, he could see the discomfort in his eyes, he had to get him out of their grip, but there was no way they would let him go like that and use his hands to do magic, he had to- ah, he inhaled deeply as an idea crossed his mind, though it wasn’t pleasant it was maybe the only way.

Alec backed off and then swallowed hard before he spoke to Underhill next to his side, the man disappeared and then returned, placing handcuffs in Alec’s palms. Magnus’ eyes widened at the sight and he looked up at Alec startled. “Alexander, no.” Magnus whispered.

“I’m sorry.” Alec whispered, his voice breaking and Magnus arms were brought to his front where Alec carefully clicked the cuffs into place around his wrists, Magnus felt his magic fade away until it felt like nothing more than a little tingle deep inside his body. He was without his powers; he was defenceless. The Shadowhunters released their grips on him and backed off, Magnus would feel grateful of being free again if he wouldn’t feel so hurt and vulnerable right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooo, that just happened! What a ride! From awkwardness to fluff to angst. That is a fun day for Magnus 😂 I think the sex talk was a bit much for Magnus, sweet oblivious Magnus. Good he has Clary to organize his thoughts, hm? You wanted for it to come out, it did, shit hit the fan. Hope you enjoyed it 😁 Thanks for all the lovely comments and kudos on the last chapter! 😘


	41. Chapter 41

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You let them in? Why would you do that?” Jace immediately snapped at him, confusion written on his face.
> 
> “Who? What are you talking about?” Alec shoved the documents aside with a furrowed brow.
> 
> “Who? Ben and Nolan of course!” Jace barked and stood closer.
> 
> “Why would I not?” Alec said almost in slow motion, a little dumbfounded by his reaction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://ibb.co/R3tLjdm)   


“Go to the Infirmary and have the wound checked.” Alec commanded in the boy’s direction, not in the mood to look at them, but it was his duty to care. Magnus saw the boys retreat, one of them snickering below his breath.

Magnus swallowed and then turned around to head for another corner, not wanting to say anything to his boyfriend he would regret later. Alec grabbed him by the arm gently. “Magnus…” His voice was soft again and he took a step closer to his side, Magnus kept his eyes on the ground. “I will get them off you as quick as possible.” He said while he reached for the handcuffs and stroked Magnus wrists gently.

“You shouldn’t have put them on me in the first place.” Magnus said bitterly and pulled his hands away. He knew he was being childish; he knew Alec didn’t do this to hurt him, he didn’t like doing it, but it still hurt. Alec pressed his lips into a line and looked a little taken aback.

“I am sorry. They wouldn’t have let you go otherwise.” He explained and Magnus sighed, yes, he knew that. He didn’t mean to snap at Alec.

“I know…” he breathed, giving him a little smile, even though it was forced. The situation was just too uncomfortable for him to smile and he wanted to get these cuffs off as quick as possible. Magnus gasped as he suddenly felt lips on his own and was too startled to return Alec’s kiss, he hadn’t expected that right now, in the middle of this, with eyes everywhere. Alec pulled back slowly and felt a shiver run down his spine as he realised Magnus hadn’t kissed him back. His dark eyes were staring right into his soul, with disappointment shimmering in them.

“Magnus, I-“ He began and then lowered his face, swallowing hardly before he lifted it again. “I will make this right; I will get you out of this mess. Give me a moment, I will- I will-“ he rambled and Magnus shook his head with a small smile.

“It’s okay Alexander, it’s my fault I am in this situation, I should have-“ He looked around and then back at Alec. “I am sorry you have to deal with this because of me.” Magnus felt his heart ache, screaming at him to hold Alec, to embrace him, to kiss him, to tell him everything, to soothe his stress, but there was this weird blockade keeping him from doing it.

“This is not your fault, I am not certain of many things, but I am certain of this, you would never attack anyone without a reason, I wish you would tell me what happened but I won’t force you to, I will try to clear this somehow, get you free. Just…trust me, I can do this.” He said, lifting his hand and Magnus nodded firmly.

“I do.” Alec nodded as well, thinking about a way to get him out of this, he would write a report about how they treated him, how they made him snap, make it sound it was inevitable. “Go do your work Shadowhunter.” Alec nodded again and licked his lips.

“Are you gonna be okay?” Alec whispered.

“Yes. Go.” Magnus answered as quick and firm as possible. Alec leant in and kissed him on the cheek, knowing he might not be ready for another kiss on the lips just yet and then left. Magnus followed him with his eyes and then looked at the other Shadowhunters, most had the decency to look away and do their jobs, a few gave him a pitiful look while others stared at him with furrowed brows like he was a threat. Magnus lowered his eyes and turned around, trying to find a spot that wasn’t full of Shadowhunters.

\---

A knock made Alec perk up from his documents half an hour later. He had spent the past 30 minutes writing a report of what happened, talking to Underhill and a few others to get Magnus cleared. The door opened and Jace stepped inside, closing the door behind himself firmly and then turned to look at Alec.

“You let them in? Why would you do that?” Jace immediately snapped at him, confusion written on his face.

“Who? What are you talking about?” Alec shoved the documents aside with a furrowed brow.

“Who? Ben and Nolan of course!” Jace barked and stood closer.

“Why would I not?” Alec said almost in slow motion, a little dumbfounded by his reaction.

“Well, after what they did to Magnus, I thought you would want them dead and not inside the Institute.” Alec huffed and leant back.

“We are past that Jace, I had to make my peace with it, they got what they deserved and I had to give them a second chance.” Jace stared at him wide eyed like he grew a second head.

“You what? Oh wow. I don’t know whether to feel proud or actually angry right now, you have some balls. I will definitely not forgive them.” Alec squinted his eyes at Jace’s strong reaction.

“It’s not like I like it Jace or that I approve, I had no choice.” Alec said firmly, slightly annoyed now. It wasn’t like he had a say in this. He would rather not have them back at the Institute at all.

“But why did you let them in again after what happened? Are you not at all concerned about what they are up to?”

“I have to believe in the good and trust.” Alec answered and Jace shook his head vehemently, not understanding why Alec would ever act that way, Magnus was his boyfriend.

“Well, then you take responsibility for them Alec. If you think it’s safe, fine. You go peel him off the ground next time.” Jace spat and turned around to leave while Alec got up immediately and walked around the desk to grab Jace’s arm.

“Hey! What is wrong with you?” He barked and Jace got away from his grip.

“What is wrong with you?! After all they did to Magnus, beat him up, break his jaw, make him do whatever kind of sick things they did to him, you just shrug it off and trust?!” He yelled right into his face and Alec flinched. His lips parting and his heart beating ridiculously hard against his ribcage.

“What-?” He whispered and felt his chest clench, he felt nauseous. “What the fuck are you talking about? I just saw them in the ops center after Magnus attacked them out of nowhere. Are you telling me they beat him?” Alec searched his Parabatai’s eyes. Jace widened his eyes and relaxed his features as it dawned on him, he didn’t know. Alec didn’t know. Shit.

“Magnus didn’t tell you.” He stated and Alec breathed jerky and hard, his eyes lost.

“Didn’t tell me what? What happened?” Alec rambled and Jace grabbed his arm.

“Calm down okay. Please.” Alec pulled his arm out of his grip and pointed his finger at him.

“You don’t tell me to calm down right now. Talk!” Jace sighed and then backed off.

“Magnus he- he was attacked when you were in Idris. Raj, Ben and Nolan, they beat him, he was too weak to use his magic due to the cold. I heard him scream my name and found them in the storage, I beat Raj up but Ben and Nolan got away, I think they later released Raj from the storage where I had locked him in.” Jace explained in a calm tone. “He had a broken jaw, or dislocated, I don’t know and when I found them Raj hovered above Magnus body, I noticed that his uhm, his belt and fly was open, I don’t know if anything else happened but he took a shower right after and looked completely out of it.”

Alec couldn’t understand what he had just heard, he didn’t want this to be true, it felt like someone had dropped a bomb on him, like his ground had shifted and made him fall, he felt sick. That couldn’t be true. Magnus would have told him! Would he not? They beat him? What else happened? Did they- did they touch him? Was that the reason he ran away this morning? Why he behaved so weird when they spoke about having sex the other way around? Did they do anything to him?!

Alec paled and stumbled backwards and into the furniture, Jace darted forward and grabbed his arm to steady him but Alec already tensed and Jace wasn’t sure what was happening, he looked like he was having a stroke, Alec leant aside and threw up.

“Oh fuck. Hey…shit…” Jace gasped and quickly rubbed Alec’s back in a soothing manner. “It’s okay. Shhh…” Alec’s body clenched and unclenched painfully until he emptied his stomach into the big flower pot and then rubbed his mouth clean with the back of his hand and straightened himself.

“Tell me this is a joke.” Alec gasped and Jace slowly and reluctantly shook his head. “Why- Why didn’t he tell me?” His gaze suddenly cleared. “Why didn’t you tell me?!” He shouted and slammed his hands into Jace’s chest, pushing him backwards forcefully. Jace lost his balance and stumbled backwards a few steps and then steadied himself, holding one hand up in defence while he stared at Alec’s angry face.

“I wanted to tell you right away! But he told me not to and I- I promised him.” Jace said desperately and backed off when he watched Alec march towards him. “Alec!” He yelled and held Alec by the upper arms to keep him away but also ground him. “Breathe! I am not your enemy!“ Alec flinched away from him.

“You should have told me Jace!”

“I know. I am sorry! I thought he would tell you, he told me he would, I didn’t want to make him uncomfortable with bringing it up myself, since I didn’t know what actually happened. I only made sure the alarm would go off when they would enter the Institute again. I wasn’t here when the alarm went off.”

“I let them in Jace. I scolded Magnus for attacking them! I- I cuffed his wrists to damp his magic.” Jace eyes widened again, his mouth falling open.

“You did what? You mean he is out there with them around without his magic?” Alec blinked around himself, completely out of it.

“Oh god. I have to-I have to find Magnus. I have to find them.“ He said and then pushed past Jace and rushed out of the office, pulling the door out of its hinges while doing so, Jace followed on his heels.

Alec ran into the ops center, breathless and panting before circling around himself to search for Magnus. “Where is he?” A few Shadowhunters looked up from their tasks, one of them walking closer.

“Who?”

“Magnus! Where is he?” Alec almost shouted.

“He left almost 30 minutes ago; I don’t know. No offence, I assumed he was with you.” Alec felt his heart drum against his ribcage so wildly that he felt like throwing up again, in fact he had to swallow to not gag right then. He felt sick. He rushed past the man to the main computer and hammered Magnus name in to find his location and gasped as he saw he was supposed to be in the Institute. He didn’t know whether to like or hate that thought. He was near but he didn’t know where and with whom.

“Go search downstairs!” He shouted towards Jace who nodded and ran off.

He left the computer and ran up to the residential wing, rushing into his own room. “Magnus!” He said but froze, the room was empty. “Magnus?” He asked again and walked to their bathroom, which was just as empty. Panic rose in his chest and he turned around, trying to think of a place where he could be. He pulled out his phone and dialled his number but nobody picked up. “Shit.”

Fear was gripping his heart; how did he get into this mess? Why was this happening? Magnus had only attacked them because they attacked first, because they hurt him and he didn’t tell Alec. Why didn’t he tell him before? Was he ashamed? Was he afraid of Alec’s reaction? Of course, Magnus snapped once he saw them again and Alec bound his magic, he made him defenceless. If anything happened to him because of that-…

He rushed back out of the room and searched every place Magnus usually was in. He left the Institute after he had searched every room, with only his pullover on and searched the garden as he saw Ben and Nolan from afar. The boys stood near the wall that Magnus often sat on and shot their heads up, you could see the fear in their eyes, obviously realising Alec knew the truth from the look on his face. They tried to climb the wall to get away.

Without thinking Alec reached into his boots, pulled out two daggers before throwing them at their targets forcefully, both guys groaned loudly as the daggers pierced their skin on both their legs, on thigh and knee and fell to the ground. Alec shortened the distance between them with a few long strides and then kicked Ben’s chin with his boot making him fly back to the ground before he turned and swirled around himself, sending his heel into Nolan’s face while panting heavily.

“I am sorry Alec, this wasn’t planned.” Ben cried and Alec grabbed him by the lapel of his jacket and slammed his fist into his face, over and over again until blood covered his face. He turned around and kicked the other one into the sides forcefully until the man groaned in pain. He didn’t care for them, for any of this, they deserved everything. His chest was heaving roughly when he finally stopped.

Ben coughed, spitting blood into the grass beside him and then tried to sit. “Raj went completely out of control. We only wanted to teach him a little lesson…to-“ he explained before Alec made him stop by forcing his elbow into his face. The man cried out and held his bleeding nose.

“Shut the fuck up! I gave you a second chance! I welcomed you back into my Institute and you go attack my boyfriend?” Alec shouted, his deep voice thundering over the garden.

“Raj made us do it! I mean yes…we were pissed that we had to leave because of Magnus but-“ Nolan said hoarsely, trying to convince Alec that it was all Raj.

“You didn’t have to leave because of Magnus, you had to leave because you are assholes! Racist, fucking assholes.” Alec yelled into his face. “Stop blaming others and accept that you are nothing but shit.” Ben pressed his lips together while tears rolled down his cheeks.

“I am and I am sorry…I didn’t mean to do this, it was stupid. I am sorry.” Ben cried and Alec felt the urge to slam his fist back into his face where it belonged. Nolan looked over at his friend with disgust.

“You lied to me! You made me believe this was all Magnus’ fault! You played the victims when he was only defending himself! What kind of sick bastards are you?!” Alec shouted. They made him turn against his own boyfriend. They made him put cuffs on him, he took away his power, he would have never done such a thing if he knew, never. Alec now understood why Magnus trembled so hard in their grip, why he didn’t speak in front of the boys, why he was so afraid when Alec put on the cuffs.

“I tried to stop Raj when I realised what he was trying to do.” Ben gasped, Alec froze at his words and stared him in the eyes.

“What did he do?” He took a step closer and Ben pressed his lips together, not wanting to say anything that would earn him another punch. Alec looked from one boy to the other. What the fuck were they talking about? What happened? What did Raj do? He felt bile rise up his throat again at all the possibilities that crossed his mind, one worse than the other. He was grateful they didn’t seem to have hurt Magnus now, but they did back then and he had to find Magnus, now!

“You two will have to suffer the consequences of your actions and I promise you will never work in any Institute ever again.” Alec threatened and then pulled out his phone, dialling Jace number and telling him where the two boys are and that he had to get them. He waited until Jace was in sight and then left the scene, going back inside the Institute, despite being completely frozen he felt heat in his body. Anger, fear, frustration, desperation, horror. He would have loved to stay and fight them for another hour but Magnus was his top priority.

Alec ran back inside while trying to make a plan of how to find the Warlock, before explaining the situation to his Shadowhunters, only giving enough information to clear Magnus but not tell everything. He put Raj on the list of threats and told the others to find him as quick as possible and bring him to Alec. Jace entered the Institute with the two limping boys, a few others quickly made their way to him and grabbed the guys by the arms, sending them angry glares, shovelling them to the elevator to get them locked away.

“Alec.” Alec’s head shot aside. “He’s here.” Alec rushed to Underhill who stood in the threshold of the training room and then looked inside, seeing Magnus sitting on the ground in the far end corner of the room, almost hidden from sight, his cuffed arms resting on his knees and his head hanging low, he lifted it at the noise and Alec felt like the biggest weight fell off his shoulders, he was here, he was unharmed. Both walked inside and Underhill knelt down to Magnus and unlocked his cuffs before he got up, gave Alec a nod and then left them.

Magnus pushed himself up to stand and rubbed his wrists, feeling the magic rush back into his body and fingertips, he felt whole again, he felt safe. Alec took a few tentative steps forward, his hands rolling into fists and relaxing again, his breath shaky.

“I am so sorry Magnus.” His voice broke, his eyes were watery and Magnus furrowed his brow, what was going on?

“What’s wrong?” He asked a little confused, they took of his cuffs, so it seemed they have cleared the situation, or not? Why was Alec so tense? Shouldn’t he be happy? Before he got an answer, Alec rushed into his arms and Magnus gasped in surprise. He returned the embrace and felt Alec’s body tremble. He pushed Alec back by the arms to look at him, his face was flushed, his- “Your hands. Alexander what happened?” He asked as he saw his bleeding knuckles.

“I beat them, Ben and Nolan, I-“ He stuttered and Magnus widened his eyes, his lips parting.

“You did what?” He looked up at his boyfriend who looked like he saw a ghost. “Why? It was me who attacked them-“ Magnus whispered regretfully and Alec shook his head.

“Jace told me.” Alec whispered and Magnus blinked a few times, completely lost. “About what happened when I was in Idris. About the attack.” Alec explained and Magnus felt a cold shiver run up his back and nape while his heartbeat increased. He what? He… Magnus closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. “Magnus…why didn’t you tell me?” Magnus hated the tone in his voice, the sorrow in it, but most of all the fact he didn’t tell him himself.

“I was afraid.” He answered and opened his eyes.

“Afraid of what?”

“Afraid of what would happen, Raj he- he threatened me, that if I would tell you about it he would tell the Clave about what you did to Meliorn, that you broke the Accords and make sure you lost your title, your runes…and I-“ He stuttered, his voice filling with despair. “I couldn’t Alexander, I couldn’t let that happen to you because of me.”

Alec shook his head vehemently and then dipped it and placed his lips on Magnus to shush and soothe him but also because he really felt the urge to kiss him right now. Magnus hummed against his lips and felt his body relax, he kissed him back gently with trembling lips and then looked up at Alec softly when he parted from him.

“Magnus you are the most important thing, person, in my life, more than my job or my runes, more than anything in the world.” Magnus felt his breath hitch and his own eyes filled with tears. “This is my fault. I shouldn’t have agreed to give them a second chance, you were hurt because of me. I should never have listened to them, or anyone, I should never have cuffed your wrists, I should have stood by your side. I am so sorry this happened to you and that I behaved like…”

“Alexander. Please, this is not your fault. I got you into this mess. I should have told you sooner, it shouldn’t have been Jace. You behaved like you should, as the Head of the Institute it’s your duty to listen to your people and make sure they are safe.”

“And as a boyfriend I should have listened to you and made sure you were safe, I didn’t.” Alec lowered his head with a gasp and Magnus sighed, he took Alec’s hands into his palms and then magicked the bruises away before he cupped Alec’s cheeks and made him look up.

“You are forgiven.” Magnus whispered and he meant it, he knew he brought this onto both of them and Alec was caught in the middle of it. “I hope they suffered.” Magnus added with a sparkle in his eyes and Alec chuckled desperately for a second.

“I stabbed them. They are alive though, unfortunately.” Magnus felt his chest swell with pride.

“My bad boy.” Alec shook his head, another puff of air leaving his lips before he looked back up with concerned eyes.

“They will be sent to the clave, Jace will take care of it so we don’t have to deal with them anymore.”

“That is very nice of him, Jace is a good guy, you chose very wisely to have him as your Parabatai.” Alec nodded, feeling the very same way. Jace was the best Parabatai and brother he could wish for. He was so grateful that Jace helped Magnus, that he told him, that he cared so much and he attacked him for not telling him, he was being a jerk. Jace only did what he was told to do, he wanted to protect Magnus, he cared for him in his cold and after the attack and that is how he thanked him, he had to apologize as soon as possible.

“Magnus-“ Alec whispered and Magnus stroked his cheekbone.

“I am fine Alexander.” Magnus answered the unspoken question, at least thinking that was it.

“What happened? What did they do?” His voice was trembling and Magnus clenched his jaw for a second and pulled his hands off his face.

“They had it all planned, I ran into their trap. They made sure the Institute was empty when they attacked, telling the others there was an emergency downtown. Raj said some nasty things I would rather not repeat and beat me while the others held me down, I got away eventually and tried to find you…I forgot you were gone.” Magnus explained as calm as possible and could almost not take the sight of his boyfriend, who looked completely mortified. “They caught me with a whip and threw me into some storage room. We fought and I lost, I was too weak from the cold and my magic didn’t work. Raj- he broke my jaw with his heel.”

“Oh god. I am so sorry Magnus.” Alec said in a broken voice.

“Me too, Alexander.” Magnus whispered back.

“They- They said that they wanted to stop Raj from doing something, that he was trying to do something to you-” Alec began, trying his best to sound calm and not being too forward, but he had to know. “What did they mean? What did Raj do?” Magnus opened and closed his mouth. “Did he-?”

“No, he didn’t touch me Alexander. If that is what you are asking.” He stopped and swallowed, pondering whether to tell him the rest, but he meant to be honest to him. “He tried… but Jace got in before anything happened.” Alec gasped. He tried. He fucking tried. How dare him. How fucking dare him after everything he had done for Raj. He gave him chance after chance even after his often inappropriate behaviour. He tried to sexually abuse his boyfriend? His fiancé? Out of hate? What kind of sick bastard was that? He couldn’t wait to get his hands on him. He needed to thank his Parabatai later and squeeze him for all eternity.

“What did he do?” Alec asked, a little guarded, he didn’t know if Magnus was willing to tell but he had to know. He had to know what happened to him, also to prevent triggering him in any way. Magnus breathed a few times, it wasn’t pleasant to focus on the memory, it was painful, but he understood why Alec asked and he would want to know too.

“He said that I- I was your Warlock bitch and that you kept me here for your pleasure. He said that it was all I am good for and that I probably enjoyed it, to teach me a ‘lesson’ he- he wanted me to…” he stopped, taking a few breaths, it was harder to voice than he thought, especially with Alec’s eyes lingering on every word he said. “to suck his dick.” he whispered.

Alec’s mouth went slack, his eyes wide and horrified. “What?” He whispered back. He couldn’t believe Raj would say such a thing to him, try to do such a thing. He had had a monster under his roof. “Oh god, Magnus.” He rushed forward and wrapped Magnus into a tight embrace. “I am sorry. I am so sorry this happened to you, I should have been here, I shouldn’t have let Raj work here, if I had known what kind of monster he was I-“ He rambled and Magnus returned his hug. He will fucking kill this son of a bitch and rip his dick off.

“It’s okay Alexander, I am fine.” He said while stroking his back soothingly. “It’s not your fault.” Magnus backed off and looked up at Alec’s watery eyes. Alec couldn’t deny the relief he felt and he hated that he felt it, it was awful what happened to Magnus but he was glad that nothing worse had happened, that Raj didn’t actually go through with his plan and also, that he didn’t do anything else to Magnus.

“Alexander, this might surprise you, but this is not the first time something like this happened to me and I am certain it won’t be the last.” Magnus said, his voice calm and soft and Alec looked startled. Not the first time? What? “I am a Warlock and also Asian, I am used to this kind of treatment unfortunately and I made my peace with it. This is not even the worst that happened to me.” Magnus chuckled.

“Magnus…” Alec whispered, not at all in the mood to chuckle at that and he couldn’t understand how Magnus could be so calm about this, of course he knew Magnus had a rough past but…that rough, that he was already used to these things? What exactly happened in his past?

“Yes, it was slightly frightening I must admit, especially since I couldn’t use my magic, but I am fine really, I healed myself after and they will get what they deserve for it and that is all that matters.” Magnus said, stroking Alec’s upper arms to make him relax, while Alec stood there frozen and completely tense.

“This is not okay Magnus, it’s not okay to accept this kind of behaviour, it’s not…okay! Nobody can treat you like this. Nobody. You have rights, like everybody else, a right to be unharmed, not only as a Warlock, or an Asian but as a man and ‘human’ being.” Alec’s voice was serious and Magnus knew he was right, but what should he do if the rest of the world saw it differently.

“You amaze me Alexander. You are so…different. In a very positive way. The Downworlders of this dimension can be happy to have you as the Head of the New York Institute. You will always try to make things right and be fair to everyone. It’s stunning, really. You are stunning.” He said sincerely.

“If you ever want to talk about it, about what happened in your past you can tell me, you can tell me everything.” Alec added and Magnus nodded.

“I know and I will, eventually. I am really sorry I didn’t tell you; I was…scared. I should have. I am not used to this, having someone to rely on, someone I can trust and that cares so much about me. It’s difficult for me to open up, always has been and I keep things to myself to not hurt others.” Alec blinked his eyes and nodded. He understood. He understood every word because it was exactly how he felt. How he had felt his whole life long until he met Magnus.

“I know how you feel. I will be there for you, always and I will wait patiently until you are ready to talk about it.”

“Thank you.” Magnus smiled fondly and Alec smiled back, for the first time in what felt like ages, really smiled back, feeling relieved and full of love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alec finally knows the truth and went out of control, but it's what they deserved, right? Good job Jace! You came just in time, someone had to tell him. I guess we won't see them again, but what about Raj? He should better stay out of Alec's sight. Magnus managed to tell him, better late then never. That talk was much needed. I hope you enjoyed this eventful chapter! 😁 Thanks so much for all the kudos and comments on the last one!
> 
> We are at 200k words! Wow! Thanks for sticking with me through this story and all your lovely comments! You guys are the best! 😍
> 
> Merry Christmas y'all! 🤗


	42. Chapter 42

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I never know with you. You don’t always think with your head.”
> 
> Alec opened his mouth, feigning shock. “What! You didn’t." he poked his finger into Magnus’ navelless belly. “How dare you.” He said with a serious voice when Magnus grabbed Alec around the waist from aside and lifted him before throwing him aside onto the bed a little unkindly. Alec landed with a thud and gasped loudly before turning around and looking up at Magnus with a mix of shock and arousal. “What the-?”
> 
> “What?” Magnus shrugged and then gave him the ‘I am watching you sign’ with two fingers before disappearing in the bathroom. He didn’t regret it one bit, Alec sometimes needed a bit of manhandling to behave, Magnus noticed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://imgbb.com/)   


Magnus stepped into his room, already stripping off his shirt and pants, feeling exhaustion in every inch of his body, it was a long and tough day, with both ups and downs. The morning with Alec was…awkward, the talk with Clary was soothing, the rest not so much. On their way up a few Shadowhunters granted him a regretful look and apologies, he knew they didn’t do it out of hate, most actually liked him for whatever reason so he didn’t hold it against them, he wasn’t one to hold grudges.

He circled his head around, before rubbing the nape of his neck and then felt hands slide along his sides to his front where they rested against his stomach. A bare and hairy chest pressing against his back from behind. He felt Alec’s warm lips kiss his shoulder and up his throat to his ear and tilted his head aside with a sigh.

“I’m…I’m not really- I’m exhausted Alexander.” Magnus whispered and Alec backed off immediately, not far though, he walked around Magnus with a surprised expression on his face that Magnus couldn’t quite decipher.

“No, Magnus I wasn’t going to- I didn’t mean it like that, I know that.” He squeezed Magnus’ hand and Magnus looked down, not having noticed him grab it in the first place. “I might be a jerk sometimes, but I wouldn’t jump you after what just happened. I have a sense of decency, sometimes.” He smiled sheepishly and Magnus rose his eyebrow at him with a smile just as sincere.

“I never know with you. You don’t always think with your head.”

Alec opened his mouth, feigning shock. “What! You didn’t." he poked his finger into Magnus’ navelless belly. “How dare you.” He said with a serious voice when Magnus grabbed Alec around the waist from aside and lifted him before throwing him aside onto the bed a little unkindly. Alec landed with a thud and gasped loudly before turning around and looking up at Magnus with a mix of shock and arousal. “What the-?”

“What?” Magnus shrugged and then gave him the ‘I am watching you sign’ with two fingers before disappearing in the bathroom. He didn’t regret it one bit, Alec sometimes needed a bit of manhandling to behave, Magnus noticed.

He returned after doing his duties and froze in the threshold as he saw Alec in the same position as he had left him, but naked. Completely and utterly…naked. The boxers pooled loosely around his ankles. One arm resting below his head, one knee tilted.

“What?” He purred and Magnus felt his cheeks blush. Alec winked as he saw the desired reaction and watched the Warlock circle the bed and glide between the sheets on the other side of the bed. He pulled on the covers to make Alec roll over who groaned as he landed on his stomach. Magnus shifted his eyes aside to see Alec’s round and perfect butt cheeks and inhaled deeply. “And you are telling me to think with my head.” Alec murmured into the pillow. Magnus widened his eyes and looked up at Alec who had a smile on his smug face, realising he had noticed his stare to the butt.

“You are unbelievable.” Magnus muttered and then turned around to face the window. He felt the bed dip and some rustling of fabrics before he felt Alec melt against his body from behind, his lips resting below his ear.

“You are too.” He whispered and gave him a soft peck. Magnus pushed back a little, enjoying the warmth of Alec’s body, it was comforting, relaxing, soothing, everything.

“I was just teasing you; I hope you know that.” Alec whispered.

“I know that.”

“Good. I don’t want to come across like a jerk.”

“Alexander.” Magnus whispered after a few moments, he wasn’t sure if Alec was already asleep, there was silence before Alec shifted only slightly.

“Yes?” He murmured sleepily.

“If you happen to find Raj, can you please give me a moment with him.” Magnus heard Alec’s breath hitch behind him, his arms around him suddenly tensing. He knew he was asking for a lot; he knew they had some kind of rules for these things.

“You want me to leave you alone with him?” He asked a little clearer now.

“Yes.”

“No. No way. Sorry, I can’t-“

“Alexander…he can’t harm me when I have my magic.” Magnus listened to Alec breath, slowly, steadily, he was obviously thinking. Magnus knew that the request might be hard for him, he wouldn’t want to have anyone that had hurt Alec anywhere near him, he would want to kill that person and not shove him in Alec’s direction, but he still had to try. 

“I will see what I can do…but I don’t like it.” Magnus smiled at that and grabbed his hands that rested on his chest.

“That is enough. Thank you.”

“What do you wanna do to him?”

“I don’t know…cut off his dick?” Alec chuckled.

“All right, I wanted to do the same. You get your time with him, I approve. We’ll just say it got stuck in the door, I will be your witness.” Alec’s eyes sparkled.

“I was joking Alexander.”

“Yeah…so was I…” Alec murmured and pressed his lips together.

“How come I am not believing you.”

“Sleep now Magnus.” Magnus snorted and shook his head, before he rested it back against the pillow and closed his eyes. He fell asleep almost instantly.

\---

Magnus stood at the steps of the Institute the next morning. His gloves-covered hands deep inside his jacket pockets. A thick, red, woollen scarf was swirled around his neck, lying on his shoulders and hiding half his face. He was breathing against the soft fabric, feeling his own warm breath dance around his lips whilst the rest of his body already froze. Alec had messaged to meet him here after lunch, dressed in something warm, though he didn’t tell him what they were going to do. He wore skin tight black jeans and long boots, his hair spiked up.

He peeled his phone out of his pocket and shoved it back inside while strolling down a few steps, jumping the last. He looked back up before the door opened and his face lit up immediately, a face splitting grin that was partly covered by his scarf when Alec emerged from the Institute with an elegant, knee-long black jacket with big round buttons, it was wide open and Magnus shivered at the sight. For many reasons. Magnus froze, staring up at that beautiful man. His boyfriend, who was almost dancing down the steps gracefully.

“Yougnooamaazing.” Magnus mumbled into his scarf and Alec stopped in front of him and pinched Magnus’ scarf, pulling it down to his chin.

“What?”

“You look amazing.” Magnus repeated and Alec dipped his head to give him a kiss, Magnus twitched for a second, not having seen that coming but had enough functioning brain cells to return the kiss.

“You too. Your lips are cold, how long have you been waiting?” Magnus shrugged.

“2 minutes?” Alec laughed and shook his head, Magnus smiled back up at him, loving the way Alec’s eyes crinkled at the edges.

“Oh, maybe I should have planned something else then.”

“What have you planned Alexander?” Magnus asked curiously and nudged him with his shoulder.

“I’m not telling, come on.” He said and hooked his arm with Magnus’ before pulling the Warlock along, pressing him close to his body. “It’s not far from here. You will love it, at least I hope so.” Magnus looked up at him with a fond smile.

“I am sure I will. As long as you are with me.” Alec looked back down at him and Magnus lowered his face, feeling his cheeks blush. Oh, how sappy, good one Magnus. Say something, quick. “Is there a special occasion for this?”

“No? I just wanted to go on a date with my boyfriend. Get out of the Institute for a bit.” Ah. That was the reason. He wanted to distract him. Magnus was sure Alec had noticed Magnus inner turmoil already.

“I am fine Alexander, if you are doing this for me then-“

“No, well yes. Maybe. But I also just wanted to spend time with you, alone.” Magnus looked around himself and at all the people wandering by. This wasn’t what he would call ‘alone time’ but well. He was grateful for the gesture, that Alec had obviously taken a day off to get Magnus’ mind off of all the things, to get him out of the Institute for a bit.

“Tell me where we are going.” Magnus looked back at Alec who shot his face forward.

“Nope.”

“Where are we going?” Magnus asked again, poking a finger into Alec’s side who jerked away and laughed.

“No! ‘m not telling!”

“Where are we going???” He drummed his finger into his ribs roughly while asking and Alec laughed louder, trying to get away from Magnus' finger while batting his hands away.

“Stop!” He said breathlessly and then rubbed his ribcage above his jacket.

“You know I hate surprises. So. Where. Are. We. Going.” Alec grabbed Magnus wrists before he could do anything stupid again and then swung him around himself and pulled him onto his back, Magnus gasped loudly and wrapped his legs and arms around the Shadowhunter’s body, holding on for dear life. “What-!”

“Now, quiet up there.” Alec scolded and held Magnus legs while walking him to their destination, Magnus huffed and put his chin on Alec’s head. Well, this was actually quite nice, Alec’s body was warm and his hair smelled wonderful.

“I could get used to this.” Magnus hummed and Alec rolled his eyes.

“Don’t get any ideas.”

“You are no fun.” Alec leant forward a little and then reached behind himself and tickled the Warlock’s sides mercilessly and Magnus howled loudly, squirming and trying to get away before he burst out laughing.

“Ale- Alex- Alexander please!” He gasped and fell backwards from laughing so hard, when Alec pressed his hand against Magnus’s back to steady him and then grabbed him below the thighs and made him jump up a bit to have a better grip.

“Now, be quiet.” Magnus let out another huff of air and then pouted a little childish, he wrapped his arms back around Alec’s shoulders and put his chin down on it, giving him little pecks against the deflect rune while Alec walked him down the street.

Magnus’ eyes shifted forward and he lifted his head in surprise. Alec lowered him gently and then looked at him expectantly, waiting for his response. “That is- ehm…that is…what is this?” Magnus asked as he watched mundanes fly over what looked like a frozen sea, a square frozen sea, how odd. The place was packed with people, laughing, crying, kissing, people, children and old ones. There was a transparent fence around the area with light strings attached to it and a little wooden shop to the right with a line of people standing in front of it. He also heard music in the air.

“Ice-skating.” Alec said proudly. “Since you love to dance and such, move your body, I thought you might enjoy this.” Magnus narrowed his eyes and shifted them aside to Alec a little unsure and Alec just grabbed his hand and pulled him along. “Come on! You WILL like it, believe me.” Magnus followed a little reluctantly until they stood in line and Magnus watched the people glide over the ice. Magnus didn’t like ice, he didn’t like cold, it was nothing he was used to at all, he has never seen such a thing before. Why would Alec think he liked this?

“For two. Yes. Alright.” Magnus heard Alec’s deep voice and then perked up, as he saw Alec receiving two pair of boots from the lady and shoved one pair into Magnus chest, he held onto them and then followed the Shadowhunter to some benches. “You have to take your shoes off and put these on, otherwise we can’t skate on the ice.” Magnus nodded, understanding Alec’s explanation though still not knowing what to do with all of this. He did as he was told until he was sheathed in white bulky plastic boots. Alec bent down and pulled on his strings, tightening them a little bit more and then got up, stretching his arms down to Magnus.

Magnus took the hands and got up on his wobbly legs, he immediately crushed into Alec and clasped his jacket. “Oh sorry.” He tried to walk a few steps and fell aside again and into Alec’s waiting arms. “Ohhhh sorry. Shit.” He heard Alec laugh next to him and didn’t know whether to feel annoyed or laugh along. What the heck was this? What was happening?

Alec got onto the ice, holding Magnus firmly with his left hand and then looked back, waiting for Magnus to follow him. “I’ve got you Magnus.” Alec soothed him and tugged on his hand to make him move. Magnus stretched his leg forward and placed his skate on the ice carefully and then pulled the other along and…froze. He couldn’t move his legs anymore, they felt like stone. He probably looked like some old grandpa, his back bent, his arm stretched out like he was going to fall any second.

Alec tentatively reached for Magnus second hand and then pulled him, while skating backwards elegantly, like he has never done anything else in his life. Magnus gripped his hands tightly and stared down at the moving ground. “Alexander.” He whispered in a shaky voice.

“I’ve got you.” Alec repeated. Magnus trembled slightly, from excitement but also because he wasn’t really steady, but Alec had him, kept him up and straight at all times and Magnus felt his body relax a little, but only a little. He lifted his head and watched the people pass by, much quicker than them. He placed his eyes on Alec’s face, who looked at him like he was having the time of his life, an excited and happy smile on his lips. His face actually sparkled. Maybe it was the light mirroring from the ice below them.

“Are you having fun?” Magnus asked a little bitter and Alec laughed, his shoulders shaking.

“I am. It’s fun! Come on Magnus, you can do this.” Alec said and then tried to let go off his left hand and Magnus held on tighter, pulling him closer.

“DON’T you dare Alexander!” He yelped and squeezed his hands painfully. Alec stopped and let Magnus bump into him when they had finished their first round like slugs. He wrapped his arms around him tightly, feeling the way he trembled.

“Are you okay? Shall we stop?” Alec asked and looked down at him a little concerned, but Magnus hated that tone and look, he wanted to have happy Alec back, so he inhaled deeply and then pushed himself away from Alec who held onto his elbows, determined not to let Magnus go. “What are you doing?”

“I can do this.” He repeated Alec’s words and got out of Alec’s grip to stand on his own. Once he stood, he looked up at Alec like he just won a marathon. “I can stand.” Alec hovered his hands close to his body, ready to grab him if needed but nodded with a smile to reassure him.

“Yes! Now you only have to…actually move.” Magnus face fell and he narrowed his eyes. He pushed his legs forward, inch by inch, one after the other and Alec watched every step like a hawk, ready to jump in and hold him. “That’s it, Magnus!” Magnus felt his heartbeat increase at the proud tone in his voice and Alec skated backwards a little quicker, before stretching out his arms. “Come to me.” Magnus stuck his tongue out, biting down on it, concentrated, then shoved his feet forward and above the ice until he began to actually skate, his body glided over the ice like butter and he felt a laugh bubble up his throat.

“I…I am skating Alexander! Look!” He almost shouted and then halted as he lost his balance, his arms fluttering in the air like a baby bird before Alec grabbed him, holding him straight up. “I did it!”

“Yes, you did! It was perfect Magnus.” Magnus knew he was probably lying, he must have looked ridiculous, but he didn’t care much, he felt too proud at the moment. “You think we can do it together?” Magnus swallowed and then nodded.

And so, they did, slowly but steadily, one round after the other, side by side, hand in hand and it in fact turned out to be quite fun, once you got the hang of it. Magnus enjoyed the way the wind brushed his cheeks and hair, the way how light his body felt, the way his stomach clenched and tingled every time he lost his balance and the way his heart fluttered everytime Alec caught him and held his hand tightly. He felt safe, he felt loved, he felt free.

They stopped at the entrance of the ice field, both laughing and panting a little exhausted. “I need a break!” Magnus gasped and then made his shaky way to the benches. Alec hopped off the ice and to his side swiftly. “I will get you something warm to drink.” Alec reached down, cupping Magnus red, cold cheek and kissed him gently. Magnus hummed into the kiss and then watched him leave. He returned a few minutes later and handed a warm chocolate to Magnus.

“Oh my! You are an angel.” Alec shrugged with a lopsided grin.

“That I am.” Magnus sniffed on his sweet chocolate and then took a sip. Oh, this was perfect. His body was completely frozen at this point. “Mind if I do some more rounds?” Alec asked and Magnus shook his head.

“Of course not, go have fun.” Alec stroked Magnus’ cheek with his pointer finger and then left to do some more rounds on the ice. Magnus watched his boyfriend glide over the ice with grace, he looked happy and free and Magnus didn’t know if he ever saw him like that, so completely satisfied. With all the stress he had to endure in the Institute every day, he probably didn’t get much free time, much time to breathe and take a break, he needed those, desperately. Magnus would make sure he had enough breaks. He closed his eyes while sipping on his chocolate, enjoying the way it warmed his insides.

As much as he hated surprises and wondered about this at first, this was actually quite nice, it was wonderful. To just be…boyfriends having a date for once. He took another deep breath and then opened his eyes again, to see Alec stand in the middle of the ice, skating towards a blonde girl, her hair bound in a low ponytail, most of her was hidden behind a thick hat and scarf.

Maybe she lost something he wanted to give her. They fell into each other’s arms and hugged deeply. Magnus felt his right eye twitch. Okay, maybe she was an acquaintance. They leant forward and someone skated right in front of his eyesight before he saw them part their faces from each other again. Magnus lips parted. What the-? Was that- were they kissing? Magnus stood up from the bench, trying to get a better look. They held onto each other’s arms and talked, they looked extremely happy.

The fuck? No…that can’t be, Alec was gay. They didn’t kiss, maybe he saw things, or did they? He cursed that little shit skating in front of his eyes the exact moment and rolled his hands into fists. Okay, calm down Magnus, that was no kiss and she is a friend. He sat back down, squeezing the cup. Calm. Breathe. There’s no point in getting jealous.

He saw Alec grab her by the elbow and then retreat with her to the back of the ice and out of Magnus’ sight.

That bitch must die.

He slammed his cup back down and jumped off the bench, stuttering his way forward and carefully stepped onto the ice, holding the fence tightly. Where were they? He looked around nervously, trying to get a glimpse of Alec’s tall body until he saw them, standing in the far end, talking.

Magnus gulped and licked his frozen and chapped lips before he pulled himself along the fence to the other side, reluctantly gliding along the ice. He didn’t feel as sure on this without Alec by his side but somehow he was filled with some hidden courage, he didn’t care to fall, he just wanted to get to Alec. He pushed himself off the fence and slid along the ice a few feet then carefully skated through the people, disturbing a few while doing so, while mumbling a few apologies. Fucking ice.

He gasped loudly as he lost his balance and waved his arms in the air before he fell backwards and landed on his butt with a loud groan. “Ouuuuch…shit.” That hurt. He stumbled forward onto all fours and tried to get a grip with his skates but it was too slippery. This fucking shit. Suddenly, he felt hands grab him under the arms and lift him up to stand.

“Magnus, why didn’t you wait at the benches, I could have helped you! Are you hurt, are you okay?” Alec rushed and looked at him intensely and then brushed the ice off him.

“If my pride counts, yes.” Magnus whispered and then looked aside to see the blond girl stand next to Alec with a wide smile on her lips that looked slightly awkward, like she didn’t quite know what to say or what to do. Magnus concentrated not to growl like an animal at the intruder. How come he felt those intense jealous feelings whenever some strangers touched Alec, he had never felt those with anyone else before, well he hasn’t loved anyone else so much before. Oh boy. He shoved the thoughts aside quickly.

“Oh, Magnus this is Lydia. A friend.” Magnus looked at Alec and then back at her before extending his hand, she shook it firmly.

“Nice to meet you Lydia.” He pressed out, he usually liked everyone and he wasn’t one to show his negative emotions but this situation was new and uncomfortable for him. He saw the way her eyes sparkled when she looked at Alec and the way it changed when she had her eyes on Magnus.

“You too Magnus.” She said and then gave Alec a look, who looked just as uncomfortable.

“How do you know each other?” Magnus heard the words tumble out of his mouth before he could think better of it and tried to force a smile on his lips.

“She works for the clave.” Alec said and Lydia nodded.

“You are a Shadowhunter! I didn’t notice, forgive me.” Ah that explained a lot, that’s how they knew each other, she was really just a friend, urgh! She was actually quite nice!

“I was at the New York Institute for a while. But then left shortly after our engagement broke off. I didn’t quite feel at home anymore and also, I missed the work, I’m a workaholic you see, there is much to do in Idris!” She rushed and Magnus blinked his eyes once.

“Your engagement?” He repeated with his eyebrows raised and Lydia nodded. “Who were you engaged to?” He asked curiously, wondering if he knew the Shadowhunter, he had met quite a lot by now. She gestured at Alec and herself before pressing her lips into a thin line with a smile.

Magnus face froze mid smile, feeling like his system just shut down.

“Ah.”

“Yeah, well it was short but quite intense, so much happened.” She looked up at Alec and back at Magnus a little uncomfortable and Magnus felt his face tensing with the effort to keep the smile on it as he looked up at Alec whose face was flushed, his eyes widened.

“Ah.” He repeated like an idiot, before blinking his eyes to get his brain to function again. “Quite intense. That sounds wonderful.” Alec grimaced and Magnus looked back down at Lydia, scrunched his nose and lifted a pointer finger.

“Excuse me.” He smiled, bobbing his head and then turned to skate back to the benches as quick as possible, though he was slow as a slug. Did he say she was quite nice? He would portal her right back to Idris, gladly. Not only have they been engaged, without Alec telling him any of this, but they seemed happy to see each other again and she had the nerve to swoon about it in front of Magnus, did Alec not tell her they were thing? If not, why and if yes, why was she talking like that? It was intense! Intense my ass. Magnus cursed internally as he stuttered along the ice field.

Why were they engaged at all, Alec is gay. Maybe he has been with girls before to try it? But didn’t he say he only had one boyfr- yes…he only had one boyfriend before, maybe he had tons of girlfriends. Magnus eyes widened. What has he gotten himself into there?

“Magnus!” He saw a shadow skate past him and then nearly bumped into Alec’s chest. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think she would mention it, I- it was nothing, really. I never loved her. If it had meant anything to me, I would have told you about it.” Magnus looked up, startled, a light hint of anger boiling below his skin.

“What? You were engaged to someone who didn’t mean anything to you? Who you didn’t love?”

“No! I mean. Yes. But…ugh this is complicated Magnus.”

“I’m listening.” Alec swallowed hard, trying to get his head clear.

“My family is very traditional and I was supposed to marry a Shadowhunter girl for the sake of the family, have children, do my duty. I did, I tried…” He began to stutter. “But I couldn’t go through with it, I couldn’t pretend to be anything I was not.” Magnus blinked his eyes, his anger quickly leaving his body. Oh.

“I get it.” Magnus said softly and he really did, now he understood the whole situation. He shamefully realised he might have overreacted a little. “So, you and her…were never?”

“No.”

“Okay. Lydia, is she your only girl ex?”

“Yes, well if she is considered an ex yes, then she is, but I wouldn’t, we weren’t really in a relationship.” He stuttered.

“Did she know you are gay? That you only did it for your family?”

“Partly yes, she agreed to do this for our families and ourselves, she didn’t know I was gay back then…but she found out soon enough, I- I kind of left her on the altar when my ex boyfriend marched in…I kissed him, I chose him.” Magnus lips parted again; his eyes wide.

“You left your fake fiancé on the altar and kissed your ex boyfriend in front of everyone? Are you making this up Alexander?”

“No!” Alec laughed. “It’s the truth. You can ask Izzy.” Magnus blinked his eyes.

“That is…kind of romantic I suppose. And she didn’t know you are gay?”

“No, nobody did.”

“What? Are you serious?”

“Yeah.” Alec laughed again, it felt weird to tell Magnus about their own past and kind of future. Magnus face shifted from one emotion to another.

“I wish I was there; this must have been awesome.” Alec gasped with a loving smile as he heard Magnus utter those words. “Was your family shocked about it?”

“Hell yeah, they were. But I didn’t care. I realised I had to be selfish for once. It’s my life and not theirs. I had to do what was right for me.”

“I get that, there is no honour in living a lie.” Alec felt his face twitch before he swallowed hard. Those déjà vu’s always got him, the moment’s Magnus said things he had said before, the moment he realised it was the same man, the same mind, it was creepy and beautiful.

“I am sorry I never told you, I didn’t think it was important, it’s something, well, I am not really proud of. Pretending to be straight, faking a marriage and leaving her like that was a little rude.”

“I get it, really.” Magnus parroted. “And I am sorry I overreacted, I should have been nicer to her, I was-“ He sighed, slumping his shoulders. “You got really close and I, I didn’t…I didn’t like it.” He shrugged.

“Oh Magnus.” Alec let out a little huff of air and then reached forward to wrap his arms around the Warlock, holding him tight. “You don’t have to fear anything, there has always been only one for me.” Magnus sighed against Alec’s chest and lay his head on his shoulder. He felt stupid. But Alec’s words were quite sweet.

Alec leant back and then cupped the Warlock’s red cheek and pulled his face up. Their lips pressed together and Magnus gasped into it, his belly tingled, a mass of butterflies roaming through it while they held onto each other, both determined to never let go again. “Let’s go back, you are cold.” Alec whispered once they parted their lips.

“Help me.” Alec gave him another quick kiss.

“Always.” He held onto him tightly and pulled him over the ice field to the entrance. He smirked a little devilish before he let go off Magnus right in front of the exit, Magnus immediately struggled and waved his arms around.

“Ah cintaku don’t!” Alec instantly grabbed him and held him steadily, his face frowning.

“What?” Magnus blushed as he realised his slip up and averted his eyes, trying to get out of there, Alec helped him hop out.

“Ah nothing.” Magnus waved his hand and then sighed relieved once he was on the ground again, his shoulders relaxing, he crashed down on the bench and tugged the skates off in a rush. Alec stared down at his boyfriend for a moment. He didn’t know much Indonesian, but what he knew was cinta. It meant love. So, whatever this word was, it had love in it and Alec felt overwhelmed with emotions, he actually felt tears on the edges of his eyes that he quickly blinked away.

Even if it was just a slip up, he said it, which meant he probably meant it without knowing it and he was determined to find out what it meant. Why was Magnus hiding and blushing like this? Was he afraid to say what he felt? What does he feel? Does he love him? Well…it doesn’t mean anything. Alec tried to shove the thoughts aside, not to interpret too much into it, though it was difficult.

Magnus felt Alec’s eyes on him, which was quite uncomfortable, for whatever reason he had reacted strongly to his slip up but there was no way the guy knew Indonesian, right? No.

“This was fun Alexander.” Magnus tried changing the topic and mood and then shoved the skates against Alec’s chest to get rid of them. Alec shook himself out of it and then chuckled.

“Be honest.”

“It had its moments. Mostly scary ones, but-“ He blinked into the void. “I enjoyed it, I enjoyed to do it with you. Thank you for helping me how to do it. It hurt a few times, but in the end, it was really good.” Magnus said while getting up.

“Are we still talking about Ice-skating?” Alec asked over his shoulder, as he walked to return the skates.

“Alexander Gideon Thirsty Lightwood.” Magnus scolded and Alec laughed after he got rid of the skates. “Behave.”

“Make me.” Alec grabbed Magnus’ hand and interlocked their fingers.

“I will.” He wiggled his eyebrows and watched Alec wink at him. Oh boy. What was that guy doing to him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this beautiful date, with a little jealousy fit in between, as much as they did, they definitely needed that after all the drama and I think we did too 😁 Though of course, they had more misunderstandings. Magnus got to know more of Alec's past and met someone new and he wants some time alone with Raj, we'll see if that's a good idea and if Alec keeps his word 😶 Thanks for all the kudos and comments on the last one! 😘


	43. Chapter 43

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So, you told Alec.” Jace perked up as he heard Magnus whisper those words while walking around him. Jace shrugged.
> 
> “Well, you didn’t.”
> 
> “It wasn’t yours to tell Jace.” Jace lost his fighting stance and stood straight, his eyes slightly widened.
> 
> “If I hadn’t told him you would be in some cell right now, if not at the clave. It was stupid of you not to tell him in the first place. You are welcome.” Magnus narrowed his eyes before turning his body sideways, pushing the end of the staff into Jace chest forcefully, the Shadowhunter fell back a few steps and coughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://ibb.co/1RPHkJs)   


“You know, if you would actually focus you might even be able to hit me for once.” Magnus panted, holding Jace’ arms behind his back, pressing him down against the cold ground in the training room. A film of sweat covered his whole body which was no surprise, since they had been training for the past hour.

The past day went by quickly and Magnus spent it mostly with Alec up in his room, reading, talking and enjoying each other’s presence. He was grateful Alec took the time to be with him, just be close to him, they didn’t even have to do anything, having him close was already enough. He got up early in the morning to let off some steam and found the perfect sparring partner.

“I just don’t want to hurt you.” Jace gasped against the floor, his voice strained. Magnus snorted and put some more pressure on the Shadowhunter. His tank top was almost hanging off his shoulder, since Alec’s clothes were a little bigger. “Besides, I am sure you are cheating.”

“I am cheating? I’m sure I saw you activate your strength rune 20 minutes ago.” Jace bucked up from the ground, throwing the Warlock off his back in a moment of surprise and then jumped to his feet, Magnus did the same until they circled each other for the 10th time. Both obviously exhausted already.

“You can just give up you know.” Jace teased.

“And let you win? Why would I ever do that? You know, I could have already won half an hour ago if I really tried but I am having too much fun beating your ass.”

“Same.” Their eyes sparkled, realising this was not going to end any time soon.

“You should have asked someone else to spar with you.”

“Nah, I needed someone that actually has a chance.”

“A chance?” Magnus laughed, relaxing his body a little.

“Are you boys done any time soon?” Clary chimed in, leaning against the threshold with her arms folded in front of her chest. “I hoped we could have breakfast.” Jace shook his head and brushed his hair back.

“Only if he gives up.” Clary groaned and rolled her eyes at her boyfriend, then made her way past the guys to go to the weapons room, she returned 10 minutes later, her perfectly cleaned daggers in hands and pushed them in their holsters while she nonchalantly strolled past the fighting men.

Jace ran to the other end of the room and grabbed himself a staff, throwing another one Magnus’ direction which he caught one handed, both smirked at each other and obviously enjoyed this a little too much.

“So, you told Alec.” Jace perked up as he heard Magnus whisper those words while walking around him. Jace shrugged.

“Well, you didn’t.”

“It wasn’t yours to tell Jace.” Jace lost his fighting stance and stood straight, his eyes slightly widened.

“If I hadn’t told him you would be in some cell right now, if not at the clave. It was stupid of you not to tell him in the first place. You are welcome.” Magnus narrowed his eyes before turning his body sideways, pushing the end of the staff into Jace chest forcefully, the Shadowhunter fell back a few steps and coughed.

“Ouch! Fuck…that hurt.” Jace rasped, rubbing his chest as he dropped back into a fighting stance and darted forward, returning to their fighting dance, Magnus effortlessly dodged his blows, jumped and swirled around like he hasn’t been already working out for an hour.

“I would-“ He jumped. “Have told-“ ducked. “Him.” Magnus stretched his arms horizontally, both hands on the staff as Jace slammed his into Magnus’s and they were face to face.

“We both know that’s not true.” Jace rose his eyebrows with a chuckle and Magnus clenched his jaw tightly. Yeah, he might be right, he hated that he was right. To be honest, he was thankful that Jace told him, but it was difficult to admit.

“Maybe I should tell Alec some of your secrets too. How about that fluffy pink towel in your bathroom, fits your eyes.” Jace eyes widened as he gasped.

“That is- that is Clary’s.”

“Why does it have your initials then?” Jace backed off with a jump as Magnus winked at him and then twirled around in light speed, Magnus stood straight as he tried to focus on Jace’s movements before he howled loudly, a bone trembling pain shooting through his body, his eyes rolled into his head as he blacked out for a second, he grabbed his crotch and fell to his knees.

“Ohhh shit. Fuck. I thought you’d jump!” Jace yelled and threw the staff aside, it landed on the ground loudly as he darted forward and down to his knees while Magnus fell to his side and whined, his arms between his legs. Jace hovered his hands over his body, completely in shock, not really knowing how to touch him or what to do. “Magnus I’m….ah shit.” Jace groaned and then looked around himself as Clary entered back into the room.

“What happened?” She quickly rushed to the boys and knelt down. Jace bit his lip for a moment and averted his eyes, before looking back at her.

“I hit him in the balls.” Magnus felt like his groin was exploding, the pain was so prominent and painful that he thought he’d throw up, it was throbbing and stinging and he couldn’t remember if he ever felt something like this, not even his broken jaw or arm came close to this horror and he could barely keep from crying.

“Why would you do that?!” Clary shrieked and stroked through Magnus’ sweaty hair to soothe her friend.

“Yeah like I wanted to do this! I would never, I thought- fuck.”

“We need some ice.” Clary commanded and Jace nodded, grateful he got something to do and then already ran off to the kitchen. “Magnus, it’s okay, I’m here. Is it bad?” Magnus rolled to the other side and into a ball, with a mix of laughter and cries. “Okay. Jace will be right back.” She grimaced. The door slammed open as Jace ran back into the room and stood in front of them a little awkward, Clary looked up confused.

“What are you waiting for?!” She almost screamed as Jace seemed to have frozen.

“I can’t- I mean, I-“ he stuttered, gesturing to Magnus. Clary rolled her eyes and grabbed the bag of frozen peas from his hands and tried to pull Magnus’ arms away.

“Magnus, we have some peas, they are cold, here.” She whispered but Magnus couldn’t actually concentrate enough to listen while he was already drooling on the ground, his eyes clenched shut. He needed the pressure on his crotch to soothe the pain and tried not to pass out. “Let me help you.” She bat his hands away with all the strength she could muster and pressed the peas to his crotch before he flinched and tried to back off, his eyes focused on Clary, realising it wasn’t Jace, he relaxed again and let her do it, spreading his legs, he lifted his hands to his face before digging his hands into his eyes.

The burn in his groin was quickly replaced by another torturous feeling as his groin froze completely which caused him to shiver.

“Not so strong Clary!” Jace barked and Clary shot him a look.

“How about you do it?”

“No!”

“No!” Jace and Magnus shouted at the same time and Clary gasped, but also pulled the peas off a little.

“Is it better?” Magnus shook his head, it wasn’t better, it was worse. The pain was pretty much the same but it was also cold now. And above all he just wanted to melt into the ground below him. He was glad that nobody else was around to witness this. There are little situations that seemed less embarrassing to him than laying on his back with spread out legs, whining while Clary had her hand on his crotch and Jace watching.

“What’s going on in here?” Clary and Jace’s heads shot aside as they heard Alec’s deep voice coming from the door and watched how his eyes shifted aside to the groaning Magnus on the ground, Clary’s hand on his crotch. “What-?” Clary immediately flinched, pulling her hand back while Alec rushed to Magnus’ side and knelt down, brushing the hair off of Magnus’ pained face.

“What happened? Is he hurt?” He looked down his body to the peas and then back up at the two with a death glare. “What did you do?” Clary stretched her arm aside, pointing a finger at Jace who stood next to them, he threw his hands up.

“Hey!” He scolded, slightly offended that his girlfriend betrayed him like that.

“It’s his fault!” She almost screamed and got up, really not wanting to feel Alec’s wrath again. Alec looked from her to Jace and clenched his jaw, while tilting his head. Jace knew he was screwed. The only good thing was that he would stay at Magnus’ side right now and not get up to beat him so he inhaled, gathering all the courage he could.

“We sparred and he lost focus, it wasn’t my fault.” He defended himself but then sighed. “Okay, maybe it was my fault kind of, I kicked the staff into his balls but it was an accident, I’m really sorry, Magnus knows I didn’t mean it!” Alec looked at him horrified and then down to Magnus who whimpered below him. Alec immediately placed his hand on the bag and pressed down on it a little more.

“How come you always hurt him when you train? What’s wrong with you?!” Alec shouted up at his Parabatai. “Can you please stop harming my boyfriend, for once. Both of you!”

“I’m sorry.” Jace said again and Clary took his arm and stroked him.

“It’s okay Jace.” Magnus whispered as good as possible. He wasn’t angry with him; it was no intention. Magnus lifted himself to sit and Alec steadied him.

“Slow.” Alec said and held his back with one hand, the other on the peas on his crotch and Magnus hissed, above all this situation was just embarrassing.

“Help me get up.” He said and Clary darted forward, both lifted Magnus off the ground while Alec held the bag in place, Magnus took the bag from him and handed it to Clary. “Thanks. I’m fine, I just need to lie down for a second.” He pressed through his teeth, trying to seem calm and collected. He leant aside to Alec who wrapped his arm around his back and helped him out of the room slowly. His legs felt wobbly, his knees week, every step hurt like shit. How come he never before noticed how much his balls moved when he walked. It was impossible to prevent.

“Leaving the two of you alone always ends in a disaster.” Alec said and Magnus chuckled to his own surprise.

“We are not compatible it seems.”

“You two are just careless sometimes.” Magnus elbowed him in the side and sighed relieved once they reached their room. “I will get you something, I will be right back.” Alec said and then went to the bathroom while Magnus stuttered his way forward to the bed, he stopped in his tracks when he felt something slide down his thigh. Did he piss himself? God, why. How could this get worse still? He lay his palm on his abdomen and slid it under his waistband of his jogging pants to brush his fingers along his inner thigh and pulled it back up, seeing the bright red tips.

His eyes almost jumped out of their sockets and he felt nauseous all over again. Not only that, he felt like fainting. No this wasn’t happening. He was fucking bleeding. “Alexander.” Magnus said in a whisper and heard Alec roam through the bathroom. “Alexander!” He said louder and Alec finally appeared in the door, holding the knob with one hand, the threshold in the other.

“I’ll be right there, I’m just-“ He stopped and furrowed his brow while walking closer, seeing his pale face. “What’s wrong?” Magnus dipped his wrist, showing him his palm with the smudges of blood. “What? Are you bleeding? Where?” He rushed and came closer, taking Magnus hand in his own to observe it. Magnus gulped as Alec continued his search and scanned every inch of Magnus’ visible skin for injuries. He grabbed his arms and turned him around slightly to look at his back and neck and then the face. “Where?” He whispered again almost desperate and Magnus let his eyes drop down his body, his face lowering.

Alec followed the line of sight down Magnus’ body to his crotch and then back up, meeting Magnus’ eyes, who looked at him with a mix of shame, fear and pain. “Oh no.” Alec muttered and then grabbed Magnus by the shoulders to turn his body around towards the door, shoving him forward. “Off to the Infirmary with you.” He rushed but Magnus stopped and turned back around with wide eyes.

“No! No way.”

“Magnus! You are bleeding, you need someone to see how severe the injury is.” Magnus shook his head.

“I won’t go there to have someone look at my crotch, are you insane?!” Magnus shrieked.

“Magnus!” He almost shouted again. “You will go if you like it or not!” Magnus lifted his chin with a hard expression, showing Alec he wasn’t having it. Alec rolled his eyes and then groaned loudly at his stubborn boyfriend. Magnus still felt the horrible pain in his crotch and he knew Alec was probably right, well not only probably, he needed someone to have a look, he couldn’t really do it himself. But the thought of laying himself bare in front of some stranger was too awkward.

“I don’t want to do this.” Magnus said like a sulking child.

“I could ask Izzy to-“

“Oh god please let me vanish.” Magnus groaned and tried to walk back into the room but Alec blocked his way and took his arms into his hands, holding him firm but gentle.

“Magnus, what if it’s something serious, your balls might be ripped off.” Magnus’ face turned into horror.

“Why would you ever say that to me! I hate you!”

“Because you are not listening!” Alec shouted back but tried to stroke his arms all the same, he was trying to make him go to the Infirmary he knew he was being harsh, but it had to be done.

“Can’t you do it?” Alec backed off surprised.

“Me?” he grimaced a little frightened.

“Just look and see if anything is ripped off. Please!” Alec looked around himself a little helplessly.

“I am no doctor Magnus, I don’t have- I don’t know.”

“But you know how I look like down there! You will be able to tell what’s wrong. Please Alexander. Don’t make me show myself to your sister, I’m begging you.” Alec cringed internally, he didn’t like the thought either, though Izzy was the best, he didn’t want this. He nodded a little reluctantly.

“Okay, I will have a look.” He shovelled Magnus to the bed as quick as possible and then stripped him off his pants carefully, there was nothing visible on his pants and neither his front. His dick looked fine…more than fine, Alec shamelessly ogled it, slightly bent forward to have a better look. There was blood on the inside of his thigh but it didn’t come from his dick or balls, though his balls looked red and swollen, painfully so. “I will just…” He whispered and then brushed his dick aside gently to see if it was okay below, everything was fine, he made a check in his head. “Can you turn around for me please.”

Magnus didn’t dare to look at himself and kept his eyes above Alec’s head and then nodded and turned around. Alec stared at his perfect round ass cheeks for a second and then knelt down. There was more blood on the back of his thighs, but he didn’t really see anything. He had to change the angle.

“Ehm, can you get on the bed for me, on all fours.” Magnus looked back and down to Alec with squinted eyes and Alec tilted his head, motioning for him to just do as he says and that he wasn’t making a joke here. Though yeah, it sounded quite hot to his own ears. Magnus looked back and then leaned forward onto the bed, crawled on it and stopped on all fours. He felt a blush crawl up his chest and to his cheeks and ears. He felt Alec’s hands on his thighs and how he parted them a bit more and just wanted to melt into the bed. This was not weird at all.

Alec hissed loudly behind him and Magnus tensed up instantly, his heart pounding against his chest. “Oh god, what?! What is it?” Alec had no trouble seeing the problem, there was a cut on his perineum right below his balls, it was bleeding a lot.

“Nothing bad, everything’s still attached, it’s a cut below your balls.” Alec tried to sound calm. He couldn’t tell if it was deep. “I will have a closer look okay, don’t flinch.” Magnus gritted his teeth and waited while Alec placed his hand on Magnus’ ass and pulled his skin next to the cut to see how deep it was, it didn’t look too deep, not like it needed to be operated, it must have split from the impact of the staff. “Can you heal it?”

Magnus leant on one arm while he stretched his other down his body between his legs, trying to finger his way to the cut, Alec let out a little groan behind him. Almost inaudible but Magnus heard it nonetheless.

“Alexander!” Alec inhaled sharply and swallowed. “Concentrate, help me please.” Alec took Magnus’ hand in his own and pulled it to the cut, Magnus flinched as he reached it and whined quietly, then snapped his fingers, trying to shoot his magic into the spot, the cut closed very slowly, but it did. He felt Alec’s hands on the sides of his ass, stroking him soothingly, but he didn’t know if he did it for Magnus or himself. Magnus gasped as the cut closed and he leant on both his arms again. The pain was still there but it was better.

“It still looks bruised and swollen, what if something internally-“ He stopped. “Maybe you should still go to the Infirmary.”

“No!” Magnus shrieked instantly. “Oh god, Alexander. No. I will have to live with it. There is no way I am shoving my swollen balls into your sister’s face. Or anyone’s. Ever.”

“You are doing it with me.”

“And I will fucking stab you if you say one more word.” Alec pressed his lips together, realising he shouldn’t be teasing his boyfriend in this situation.

“Okay okay! Wait, I have a cooling lotion in the bathroom, wait here.” He said before he left to head for the bathroom again, Magnus let his head flop down with a groan. Alec returned and then settled in front of Magnus’ ass again.

“Alexander.” Magnus said softly this time, looking through his own legs to Alec who licked his lips absentmindedly, not moving at all. He visibly flinched.

“What! I wasn’t. I was- ugh.” He groaned at himself, concentrate Alec! He gently spread the lotion on Magnus’ dangling balls and his perineum, not at all enjoying this way too much, also trying not to hurt Magnus who tensed up slightly below his fingers. He stroked his thighs gently. “Done.” Magnus felt Alec’s hands roam up to his ass cheeks and back down with more pressure and rolled his eyes.

“Yes. Sorry.” He rushed and then got up and helped him turn around. “The sight was just…nice. Not the cut, but-“ Magnus narrowed his eyes at his stuttering boyfriend.

“Just stop it.” Alec shut his mouth, feeling ashamed.

“I’m sorry.”

“Just let me sleep a bit and drown in shame.” Magnus turned around and snuggled himself onto the bed with his belly. Alec laughed and sat down beside him, stroking his back soothingly.

“I think you managed this quite well, I guess I would have cried my eyes out.”

“I don’t cry.” Magnus mumbled into the sheets and Alec gasped, realising he was right, did he ever see Magnus cry? Why wasn’t he crying? One time, soon after he got here, he had seen his wet cheeks though not him crying. After he had learned about Ragnor’s death. Alec knew how much of an emotional guy Magnus was, very sensitive and emphatic, it must take a lot of effort from his side not to cry or was he taught not to?

Magnus had cried a lot in his youth and eventually stopped, not wanting to be and show weakness anymore, not let things get to him anymore, not let people see him like that. Things must be really serious to make him cry, shake him to the core, anything else he can quickly and easily brush off without a tear.

“You should get some rest. I will go back to work, text me okay?” Alec whispered and leant down, placing a loving kiss on Magnus hair. Magnus nodded with a smile and closed his eyes.

“Thank you.” He whispered.

\---

Magnus opened his eyes, realising he had fallen asleep, when he heard water running from inside his bathroom, he lifted his head and turned around, the door stood open, Alec entered through the door, only wearing his boxers, Magnus lips instantly parted at the sight of his almost naked boyfriend, it had been a while since they were intimate he had to admit, stress always got in the way. Alec’s face lit up as he saw the awakening Warlock.

“Hey baby, did you sleep good? You feeling better?” Magnus nodded to Alec’s words and then shoved the sheets aside to throw his legs over the bed and then rubbed his face and neck. He groaned a little as he felt his balls throb, he shifted and spread his legs.

“Yeah, it’s better…still sore, but not so much anymore. Did you take a shower?” Alec shook his head.

“No, I was waiting for you to wake up, I thought that the warmth might soothe your pain and that I could maybe go with you, if you like.” Magnus looked up with a sparkle in his eyes, a little sheepish smile on his lips.

“That is quite nice, yes, I would like that.” Alec nodded with a grin and then helped Magnus up from the bed. Magnus placed a haste peck on the side of Alec’s throat and then walked towards the bathroom while taking off his shirt. He wasn’t wearing pants since earlier. He stepped inside the bathroom, seeing candles all over the place. “What…?”

“I wanted you to have a relaxing environment.” Alec explained himself, whispering into his ear from behind, which sent a shiver down his spine.

“What is this smell?”

“It’s herbs, yeah I went all the way.” Magnus laughed and from the sound of it, Alec did too. It was a musky, spicy scent in the air, the room was foggy and the water running, it was warm and comfortable, like an invisible blanket that wrapped around his body as he entered the bathroom, Alec closed the door behind them.

He stepped into the big walk in shower and under the water stream, enjoying the almost too hot water splashing on his skin, flowing down his muscles, arms and legs, his body immediately relaxed. Alec followed him close by in all his naked glory, Magnus ran his hands up his face to throw his hair back and then looked to Alec, licking his wet lips, blinking his eyes, once, twice, Alec only stood there, breathing. The tension was almost palpable.

Magnus looked back at the tiles and closed his eyes before running his hands over his chest, stomach, thighs, groin, he felt Alec’s body heat, knowing he must have come closer. He twitched in surprise as he felt Alec’s big hand on his back and front with washing gel on them, he rubbed it into his skin, causing a nice foam. Magnus had his hands up in his hair while Alec touched him everywhere he could reach, his abs, stomach, pecs, arms, sides, neck, shoulders until he was covered in foam.

“Feels good.” Magnus gasped and then felt Alec’s lips on the side of his neck, he tilted it aside to give him more space and felt his body tremble, he didn’t need to look down, he knew he was already rock hard, Alec licked and sucked on his throat, gently and softly. He felt his hairy pecs against his shoulder, his fingers crawling his skin. Alec reached for his side and turned Magnus around to him then tilted his head up by his chin. Magnus kept his eyes closed and felt Alec’s lips eagerly press against his own.

They melted against each other and Magnus opened them up for him, welcoming his tongue inside his mouth, he licked forward to play with it. It was hot and wet. Alec tasted so damn good. There was a light stubble almost not visible, but Magnus felt it against his cheeks. Magnus reached forward and squeezed his strong pecs in his hands, feeling them twitch. He felt his hard nipples against his palms and then traced his hands down to play with them, rolling them between his fingertips while Alec gasped into Magnus’ mouth.

They parted, looking at each other hungrily and then surged forward and slammed their faces back together, connecting in the second best way possible, their lips pressing and softening against the other one, licking, nibbling, sucking, it was perfect. Alec dipped his hands to Magnus’ ass cheeks and held him firmly, pressing him slightly against himself and his erection. Magnus moaned as he felt their hard dicks press together.

“Does it still hurt?” Alec purred against his lips and Magnus needed a moment to hear his words and get their meaning before he nodded his head.

“Only a little.” He whispered back.

“Then I better keep my hands off them today.” Magnus pushed his lower lip forward in a pout, he didn’t want to touch him? After all this? That seemed highly unfair.

“It’s only my balls.” He murmured and rubbed his leaking cock against Alec to underline his words, that his cock was perfectly fine and needed to be touched. Alec smiled widely and then licked his upper lip in a sensual way, never leaving Magnus eyes with his own. He followed the drops of water running down Magnus face while Magnus did the same, Alec’s hair was sticking to his forehead, the drops falling off his plump lips and long eyelashes.

Magnus felt Alec’s hands stroke his ass, gently up and down, before his fingers sneaked down to his perineum where the cut has been, Alec circled the spot with his finger softly which sent a tingle through his groin, Alec’s nostrils flared, while Magnus eyelids fluttered with arousal. Magnus inhaled sharply, digging his fingers into Alec’s pecs as he felt Alecs finger go upwards between his ass crack, brushing lightly over his hole, Magnus breath got jerky, his chest heaving in a matter of seconds, Alec stopped.

Magnus closed his eyes for a moment and then surged forward, claiming his lips with his own in an attempt to distract himself. He knew that this moment would come sooner or later, the moment Alec would try it, would want to play with it, it wasn’t a surprise but he didn’t know it would come so soon, he didn’t have the time to think about it too long yet. There has always been something more important coming his way.

Alec began to circle his rim with his finger absentmindedly while he was devoured by Magnus’ lips, humming in appreciation. Magnus trailed his hands down Alec’s stomach to his sides and held him tightly. It’s just his finger Magnus, just the finger. Relax. Alec broke the kiss and panted hard against his face, searching his eyes.

“Is this okay for you?” He whispered and Magnus mind blanked. Why was he asking? Why wasn’t he just doing it like he usually did. How was he supposed to answer this? He didn’t know the answer. He didn’t know if this was okay, he didn’t know what ‘this’ was. He didn’t know if he was ready, if he wanted it. He didn’t want to lie to Alec and also didn’t want to disappoint him. So, he couldn’t answer it. Magnus nodded shakily, his lips apart, his brow furrowed. “You- you don’t look like it.” Magnus sighed and tried to collect himself, schooling his face into relaxation and then smiled up at him.

“I’m just a little nervous.” He admitted and it wasn’t a lie, he was. He fucking was.

“Don’t be. I’ve got you.” Alec said and his voice was thick with emotion. He seemed nervous too, Magnus watched him swallow hard. He really was nervous; he probably didn’t want to fuck this up just as much as Magnus. Magnus let out a desperate chuckle, a little huff of air. Magnus nodded again, firmer this time and Alec ran his finger up and down Magnus’ wet skin to slick it up with foam and washing gel and then brushed it back to his hole, hovering right over the opening for a moment.

Magnus felt his heart beat against his ribcage roughly, it felt like it would burst out any second and then suddenly something was penetrating him, Magnus felt his breath hitch as Alec’s fingertip breached him slowly, it was an awkward feeling, not quite right. He felt the urge to push it back out. It lingered for a second and then dipped back before it slid back inside, deeper this time, Magnus clamped down on it involuntarily, it felt big, it felt rough, it wasn’t a pleasing feeling, far from it. You can do this. Relax. Do…

Magnus shook his head almost roughly and then placed his palms on Alec’s chest. “Stop. Please.” He pushed him back against the shower tiles, to get him off, to get his finger out. “I can’t! I’m sorry, I can’t.” He gasped desperately and in shock by his own doing. He had promised himself to try this, to do it for Alec but he couldn’t. He shouldn’t. “Alexander, I’m sorry.” He felt shame surge through his body, it was only a fucking finger and Alec had asked if it was okay. But however Alec may react, angry or disappointed, he needed to stop this, he shouldn’t be doing something he wasn’t 100% okay with just for Alec’s sake. 

Alec threw his hands up, hovering them in the air, his mouth slack and eyes wide open, completely in shock. “Magnus? What-…” He began and then lowered his arms and took a step closer, reaching for Magnus’ hands that trembled, pressed against his own stomach. “What happened? What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?” He rushed and squeezed his hands to stop the tremble.

“I don’t- I don’t want this.” Magnus said, shaking his head and finally met Alec’s eyes with his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another day, another awkward moment, that is Magnus' life now it seems and of course Jace was involved. But Alec took good care of him, hm? Someone certainly enjoyed it 😂And Oops, someone else clearly didn't 😶Was Alec too quick? Or should Magnus have voiced his concerns earlier? Well, don't worry the scene will continue, you know I never leave anything unfinished 😎 I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Something "light" before the storm.
> 
> Happy Near Year everyone!
> 
> I have a new job now, which means I will need some time to get into it and thus have less time to write which means posts will come when I have the time, I will try once the week, but it might be fewer than that, thanks for understanding! Don't worry I will finish this baby, I love it too much and all of you!


	44. Chapter 44

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Why- why don’t you want it? Please be honest with me, I won’t judge you Magnus. Never.” Magnus breathed a few times, trying to concentrate, trying to calm down, trying to collect his thoughts, well how much worse could it get? Just say it. He took a step forward so they both stood away from the water and he clasped his hands together in front of his chest, playing with his fingers in a nervous habit and then lowered them with a frustrated sigh.
> 
> “I am afraid. There. I said it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://ibb.co/nCyy68S)   


“What?” Alec said, retreating his hands, his expression changed from shock to part confusion and part anger. “You- why didn’t you say anything? Magnus I wouldn’t have-“ he backed off feeling like some rapist. Magnus threw his head back in desperation, clenching his jaw. Fuck, he didn’t know why. He didn’t want to hurt Alec.

“I don’t know. I’m sorry. I wanted to try it for you but I can’t.” Magnus voice broke as he pressed back against the shower wall, feeling guilty and ridiculous.

“You wanted to try it for me?” Alec repeated with a pale face. He blinked his eyes and then looked around himself like he was completely lost and in thoughts, he rubbed his own thighs awkwardly before he rolled his hands into fists, clenching and unclenching them. He hated how he again fucked this up, he had tried to make it right this time, discuss it with Magnus beforehand, take things slow, keep check of his emotions and what he wants before just doing anything and still, this happened. He just wanted Magnus’ first times to be perfect and yet he kept messing it up.

Magnus realised what that emotion was, Alec was angry with himself. But it wasn’t his fault; he had done everything right. He had asked, he went slow, it wasn’t his fault. Magnus pushed himself off the wall and closed the distance before he cupped Alec’s pale cheeks and pulled him down to press his lips against his urgently, lovingly, hoping he felt the love that Magnus felt for him, to soothe him, but Alec had a hard time kissing him back, too stuck in his own thoughts.

“Alexander. Look at me.” Magnus whispered against his lips and Alec’s eyes focused on Magnus reluctantly. “It’s my fault not yours, I should have just told you. I didn’t want to hurt your feelings. I am sorry.” Alec’s hands slid up Magnus’ wrists, he held his hands and then pulled them down from his face, Magnus gulped as his hands were forced off Alec’s face, as he lost their connection.

“I knew something was wrong, I felt something was wrong.” He breathed. “Magnus, of course I want this, I would love to do this with you, but if you don’t want this, it’s perfectly fine, we won’t do it. Why didn’t you just tell me? Were you afraid of my reaction?” Magnus gasped, trying to avoid Alec’s piercing stare.

“You made it sound like it was normal, like it was something I had to do with you, I thought if you found out that I wouldn’t want it, you- I don’t know, wouldn’t want me.” He mumbled and Alec flinched at the words, feeling deeply offended at the thought only.

“What…no. No. I only said it that way because I thought you would want it too, it might have come across wrong, I am sorry for that. I never meant to pressure you into this, oh my god Magnus, I nearly…we…” He stopped and then inhaled deeply while looking up at the foggy ceiling. He nearly did this without his consent, forcing him into something he didn’t want, wasn’t ready for. He felt sick.

“Forgive me.” Magnus whispered and Alec shook his head vehemently.

“No, please forgive me. I should have listened to my gut. I hope I didn’t hurt you.” Magnus could say no, he could make it easy for Alec, but this wasn’t the right way, keeping things from Alec wasn’t the right way, he had painfully noticed this much. Not for the first time. It was still so new to him to open up like this, about what he wants and also what he doesn’t want and that someone actually cared about it, about him.

“Not much…a little.”

“Because you didn’t want it. I’m such a jerk.” Alec ran his hand over his face and into his hair, pulling on the wet strands.

“You are no jerk…far from it.” Magnus whispered though he felt that Alec wouldn’t listen.

“Magnus, can I ask you something, or if it’s-“ he asked after a few minutes of slightly awkward silence. Magnus nodded instantly; relieved Alec was still talking to him at all. He felt so ashamed, he just wanted to vanish into the drain. His cheeks were flushed, a deep pink blooming on his face.

“Of course. Anything.”

“Why- why don’t you want it? Please be honest with me, I won’t judge you Magnus. Never.” Magnus breathed a few times, trying to concentrate, trying to calm down, trying to collect his thoughts, well how much worse could it get? Just say it. He took a step forward so they both stood away from the water and he clasped his hands together in front of his chest, playing with his fingers in a nervous habit and then lowered them with a frustrated sigh.

“I am afraid. There. I said it.”

“Of me?” Alec’s eyes widened comically.

“No! Not of you. Of course not, Alexander. Of…I don’t know…the unknown, how it is, how it feels, the pain, giving up control, letting something or someone in. It’s frightening.” He rushed to say, the answers tumbling out of his mouth before he could think of it. He closed his eyes right after to not witness Alec’s reaction, the way he would laugh or scrunch his face in confusion. He was supposed to be this powerful and strong Warlock and not…this. Afraid of penetration, how pathetic.

Alec listened intensely, realising quickly that his problem was way deeper than he had thought, it was hard for Magnus to open up, literally. Letting something or someone inside his body felt like losing control to Magnus, he didn’t want to be used, he didn’t want to be hurt. Magnus realised that there was no reaction whatsoever, he quickly opened his eyes and mouth again to add more, to make him understand before it hit him, before he would lose it.

“I want to be honest with you Alexander, I never even thought about this before the day you said you want to, to sleep with me. I didn’t know we would switch, that this was a thing, it took me by surprise and I haven’t had the time to process it yet, to think about what I want. My first thought was that…I don’t.”

“That is why you behaved so odd the other day.” Alec said with a sigh, finally understanding what had happened the other morning. He tried to tell him and Alec didn’t get it, of fucking course. “Of course, I sometimes forget that you are…you are new to this. That you might not want this or haven’t thought about it, it never crossed my mind. I’m so stupid.”

“You are not stupid. You are too smart for your own good. You just don’t always think with your upper head.” Magnus pointed at Alec’s forehead and chuckled lightly; Alec smiled though he was still frowning deeply.

“I’ve been a virgin myself not too long ago, I am not that experienced sex god you might think I am; I just learned a lot, I’m an eager learner and I want to share it with you. I know how you feel Magnus. I do. It can be frightening, I was frightened too, but I wanted it, I knew deep inside that I wanted it, that I was ready and that I trusted my partner to do the right thing, to make me feel good and take care of me.”

“I trust you. I do. I just-“ Magnus looked aside and gasped and then back at him, feeling the blush rise again. “You are so big Alexander.” Alec’s face softened instantly, a laugh bubbling out of his throat as he let his face drop to not snort into his face. “Have you ever looked at your hands? Your fingers are longer than my arms and your dick…you could stab people with that thing.” Alec wheezed, leaning down on his knees. “If you penetrate me with that, I fear I will have to stand for the rest of my life because I won’t be able to sit. I will be ruined forever.” Alec straightened and threw his head back while drying his eyes on the edges and Magnus giggled along, loving the way the frown had left his face, the way he laughed. That the mood had shifted. He knew he was being over the top and both knew he was joking though there was part truth in it. It was exactly what Magnus feared though he tried to pack it nicely with a ribbon on top before delivering it to Alec.

“You are so ridiculous.” Alec gasped, his shoulders still shaking and Magnus only smiled at him fondly, waiting for him to calm down and relax, though enjoying this moment very much. Yes, it was ridiculous, this whole situation, they stood in the foggy bathroom, in the shower, naked, the water still running, candles around, talking serious shit and he was still half hard from looking at Alec’s wet body.

“You make it sound like my dick is 3 feet long.” He wiped his eyes once more and fought his laugh down. “I know it’s big, but- it fits.” Magnus quirked an eyebrow at his boyfriend.

“And you know that how?”

“I just know it. We fit.” Magnus narrowed his eyes, though the words were quite sweet.

“But I agree that it’s a little harder for you than it was for me, my first boyfriend was a little smaller, above average though, but…smaller…it’s easier, I get it. I am sorry I have a huge dick, I guess.” Now it was Magnus turn to laugh.

“Oh, I quite like your huge dick, don’t worry about that. I just don’t like it ripping me apart.”

“It’s not like I’d just ram it in. We would build up to it. We would take our time to get you ready.” Alec said in a calm tone and Magnus felt his cheeks and ears burn. “You know, like you did with me. I can’t guarantee that it won’t hurt, the first time often does and since I am…’so big’ I am certain it will but it will vanish, it will…turn into pleasure eventually and even if it doesn’t, it will the second time, or the third, sometimes it takes a little to get used to it.”

Magnus blinked his eyes, listening carefully while grimacing. 2 or 3 times of pain? Great. Yay. Where can he sign up?

Despite the fact this talk was awkward he felt that it relaxed him, he felt better talking about this. Having Alec know about his fears and also the fact he took him seriously and didn’t laugh at him. He understood him and tried to help. Suddenly the thought of having Alec penetrate him wasn’t as frightening as it was mere minutes ago. He still didn’t want to try it with his dick, but the finger might be fine, maybe it was better than he thought and he knew that Alec would stop immediately if it got too much, maybe he needed this, this moment, this talk, to get his head clear. To know what he wants. He felt something fill his body…trust.

“Let’s try again.” Magnus whispered, so quiet Magnus didn’t quite hear it himself.

“Try again? What exactly?” Alec asked with a furrowed brow after he deciphered his words.

“What you did…with your finger.” He stuttered awkwardly, raising his hand, failing to sound as sure as he felt.

“Magnus, we don’t have to, we can wait.” He held one hand up. “It’s no problem, really. I don’t want you to force yourself. You-“ Magnus rushed closer and slammed against his body while he grabbed Alec’s neck with both his hands, pulling him down to his face before he pressed his lips against his, he walked forward, pushing Alec against the cold wall tiles. Alec gasped against his lips in surprise but then closed his eyes and opened his mouth to let him in, he placed his hands on Magnus wet sides. Their kiss was messy, needy but it was just as perfect as all others.

“Let’s try again.” He parroted, firmer this time. “I want it. I really do. Show me.” He whispered and then looked up at his eyes in a silent plea and Alec’s chest was heaving again, he felt Alec’s dick press against his abdomen, Alec always got aroused quickly when Magnus manhandled him and maybe the thought of finger fucking Magnus added onto it.

“Are you sure?” Alec’s voice broke unfortunately, he swallowed the frog down, he couldn’t deny that he was nervous as fuck.

“Yes. I am. I trust you.” Magnus said right away, not giving room for any doubts. Alec held him tighter and walked him backwards under the hot water, Magnus quickly realised how cold he had gotten outside the stream of water, he hadn’t noticed before, but Alec did, he always did. Alec took some shower gel and squeezed it between his hands, then began to stroke Magnus body again in lazy circles, covering his skin, more to relax him than for washing, Magnus smiled and stole some off his palms, rubbing his own hands together before returning the gesture and massaging Alec’s front.

Magnus lifted his head the moment Alec went for his throat and felt him nibble on his skin, suck on his adam’s apple, lick his veins, it caused goosebumps to spread all over his skin. Alec’s hands roamed his skin, went to his sides and then his back and down to his ass that he began to massage. Magnus didn’t flinch this time, he knew what was happening, he wanted this. Alec smiled down at him, seeing the change, seeing how different it was from his earlier reaction.

He dipped his hands down and spread his ass cheeks with one hand while he brushed his right pointer finger down his crack to his rim that he again began to circle, gently, while he rubbed his own body against Magnus’, their erections once more dancing and rubbing another, it felt so good, so wet and so soft and yet again hard.

“Are you ready?” He should have asked this before.

“Yes. I am.” Magnus said sincerely and even though he felt like it, he couldn’t stop the way his lips trembled, that he was nervous, the memory of what happened earlier still present. Alec kept circling his hole for a while.

“Breathe slowly.” Alec gasped. “Relax. I’ve got you.” Magnus nodded and held onto Alec’s upper arms, trying to lose the tension, trying to relax. “Tell me if it hurts.” Alec replaced his pointer finger with his middle finger and then pushed it inside the Warlock, slowly, carefully, only a tiny bit and then waited for Magnus to get used to the intrusion, he should have done that before too, Alec painfully realised. He waited a few seconds as he saw no visible reaction and then pushed it in further.

Magnus felt his face twitch, there it was again, that awkward feeling, even though his finger was slick it still felt rough. Maybe it was only the first feeling, maybe it would get better when he was deeper, maybe- he let his head drop forward against Alec’s chest and breathed slowly while Alec rocked his finger back and forth at the first knuckle, carefully watching the Warlock’s breath and the way he held onto him to not miss a sign.

“Are you okay?” He asked since he couldn’t see his face.

“Yeah.” He gasped, not really able to say more he had to concentrate to not push Alec out. The urge was strong. Alec pulled his finger out and wetted it some more before he pushed it back inside, a little deeper this time but just as slow, he went past the first knuckle and Magnus felt full, ridiculously full. He knew this was stupid, but it felt like he had a broom up his ass. His hole clenched down on his finger and Alec grunted quietly.

“You are so tight.” Alec said almost surprised as if he had expected something else, known something else.

“This shouldn’t be a surprise for you. Nothing’s ever been in there.” Magnus breathed against his wet pecs.

“Yeah right, I know, it’s- it’s amazing. I mean, it’s…yeah. You feel amazing.” Magnus lifted his face and Alec immediately lowered his own and they connected at their lips, kissing lazily and gently, while Magnus felt the intruder dig deeper and deeper until he felt Alec’s knuckles against his ass. To his surprise, or not surprise, the pain subsided the deeper he got and the longer it was in, just like he had predicted. The most pain was only around the rim. Magnus hummed against his lips and Alec returned it, almost purring.

He began to thrust his finger slowly while he fingered his walls, it was weird, really weird, he felt Alec’s fingertip crawl him from inside, he had to admit that it didn’t feel…good? Neither did it feel bad. It was just…there. He almost felt nothing, except the pressure of his finger, his nervousness and the arousal from Alec’s body and lips. At least the clenching had stopped.

“Is this okay?”

“Yeah. It is. Odd but okay.” Magnus chuckled and Alec swallowed the chuckle with his lips. Odd and okay wasn’t exactly what Alec was aiming for but, he knew how to change this, how to make him feel it, he just waited for Magnus to get used to it first, to adjust to what was happening. He then pulled it out completely and his hole clenched on air. He pulled his hand to Magnus front then went down again, past his balls, pushing his finger back inside, the angle was different now. Magnus felt him crawl at his insides with more pressure, it almost hurt until…it didn’t.

Magnus almost jumped the moment a pleasure cursed through his whole body, he dug his fingers into Alec’s biceps’ and gasped loudly. His pupils blown.

Alec grinned open mouthed and held Magnus steadily on his side and pressed him against the wall a little to steady him, while he repeated the motion and crawled him with his curved finger, Magnus felt his body tremble and his dick throb, he parted his legs some more and tensed his body, not really knowing what to do, how to react to this, what this was, what was happening? “Oh shit.” Magnus breathed and Alec laughed loudly.

“That is your prostate, say hello.” Alec chuckled and continued to rub it, running his finger along the ridged and squishy surface that quickly hardened below his finger.

“Hell- o- fuck.” He stuttered and let his head fall back against the wall, his eyes closed. Alec launched at his throat and sucked on it hard while Magnus rocked his hips forward, seeking friction on his leaking dick, his foreskin rubbed against Alec’s groin and he jerked himself against him and back on Alec’s finger, not knowing what else to do with himself, he was completely lost in pleasure and began to moan shamelessly.

“That’s it. God, you are so sexy.” Alec whispered completely mesmerised by his boyfriend, that was experiencing this intense pleasure for the first time, by his hand. He began to thrust into him with his finger, quicker with each second, always making sure to brush his prostate. “Can I- Can I add another? Is this okay?” It was easier to do it with two and the pleasure was even better. Magnus opened his eyes, trying to understand what Alec had said, he wasn’t able to think or answer or exist. He felt completely overwhelmed, but he nodded, trusting Alec completely.

Alec placed his pointer finger against his rim and pushed it inside along with his middle finger, he felt his rim stretch around his finger, Magnus hissed instantly, his body tensing up while he tried to angle his body away to get the finger out instinctively, Alec immediately pulled his second finger out and then attacked Magnus mouth with his own, he felt Magnus melt against his lips and relax in his hands, their lips fought for dominance, tasting, licking and savouring the other one’s taste while Alec slicked his fingers some.

He pushed them back inside while he distracted Magnus with his mouth, he stretched his thumb the other way and circled his perineum to massage his prostate from outside as good as possible while he pressed his fingers inside his body as gentle as possible. He heard Magnus whimper against his lips, but he wasn’t tensing up, he rested his fingers there for a second and then went deeper, inch by inch until Magnus clenched down again and gasped loudly while leaning back. He placed his eyes on Alec’s and looked deep into them, trying to calm himself, trying to relax, Alec leant forward and placed his forehead against Magnus.

“Breathe.” He whispered. “You can do this…” Magnus nodded and concentrated on his breathing while closing his eyes, the clenching stopped and Alec went deeper, moaning softly at the feeling of entering him, his hot walls felt so good. He didn’t go all the way in, just enough to do his magic.

Alec flickered his fingers over his prostate quickly and then poked against it in a wavy motion, quicker and quicker and quicker and Alec hissed at the pain of Magnus fingers digging into his arms, his whole body was shaking.

A weird urge to pee overcame Magnus, but he knew this was very unlikely. It was too much, it felt like…too much and yet not enough. He wanted to cum, so badly. He felt overwhelmed by all the emotions and feelings cursing through him, by his bodily reactions. His legs began to tremble.

“Alexander.” He gasped and Alec understood.

“I’ve got you.” Alec pressed his body against Magnus’ some more to keep him up and reached for Magnus’ cock and his own, wrapping his large hand around both of them to jerk together, Magnus felt the much needed friction on his dick, caused by Alec’s fingers, by his hot dick and his moans got louder while Alec panted heavily against his throat.

He began to thrust his fingers out and in, back and forth while abusing his prostate, his hand flew over their dicks so quick it was almost a blur.

“I’m…Oh…fuck….I’m….Alexander…” Magnus held his breath for a moment as the pleasure rolled over his body and then groaned loudly, his body spasmed violently, his hole clenched, his muscles throbbed rhythmically while he shot thick ropes of cum over both their dicks and down Alec’s fingers, his eyes rolled into his head and he felt his knees go weak as he completely lost it. Alec quickly steadied him with his shoulder and knee so he wouldn’t fall down.

Alec stopped fucking his prostate, but kept his fingers inside him as his own orgasm washed over him as soon as he felt Magnus’ hot cum on his fingers, adding his own onto it, rubbing it into their skin until it was washed away by the water, both panted heavily for a minute or two and just leant against each other. Alec jerked them through it lazily and gently until he felt Magnus twitch with over sensation and then stopped. He pulled his hand off and also out of Magnus gently and waited for Magnus to collect his senses.

Magnus closed his legs again, that Alec had spread to stand better and only breathed, deeply, slowly, when he opened his eyes Alec stood close to him, with a smug smirk on his handsome face while stroking the Warlock. He saw how overwhelmed Magnus was and gently grabbed his hands.

“Let us go out, we are already wrinkled.” Magnus nodded shakily and let Alec pull him out of the shower, he let Alec dry him and himself and was pulled to their bed, both dropped down on it and Alec quickly took him into his arms, pulling him as close as possible while he covered them both with a blanket.

“I don’t know what to say.” Alec laughed at Magnus surprised tone.

“Thank you?” Magnus slapped his arm roughly. “Ouch! What was that for?”

“Don’t be so smug.” Alec laughed.

“I am not, I am just…happy.”

“Thank you.” Magnus whispered. “I am happy too. I must confess this caught me by surprise…a good one I must say.”

“Yeah, I know the feeling.” Magnus nodded, remembering the way Alec reacted when he had massaged his prostate the first time, it was so hot, he got lost in it and came so hard, he can relate now. This orgasm was something else. It was…more intense, more internal, it wasn’t better than a dick orgasm, but different and just as good, it was definitely longer. "Now imagine it being my dick.”

Magnus groaned and slapped the same spot, causing another “Ouch!” from Alec. “Okay, I deserved that one.”

“You did. You deserve everything Alexander.” Alec kissed Magnus neck below his hairline softly and felt goosebumps against his lips.

“Does it hurt?” Magnus was grateful Alec wasn’t seeing him right now, even though they just did something very shameless and very intimate, he was slightly embarrassed again, it was different when you were in the heat of the moment or clear headed.

“Yeah.” Magnus gasped and then chuckled nervously.

“I thought so, that’s normal though, it will get better very soon. Does it hurt a lot?”

“It’s more of an uncomfortable feeling…and a sting I feel occasionally.”

“I might have overdone it a little. I wanted you to feel how good it can be. I should have been gentler, maybe just one finger.”

“It was great Alexander, it was great the way it was, it was amazing, okay? The pain will pass it’s nothing I can’t handle.”

“Okay.” Alec whispered and stroked Magnus’ thighs gently to soothe him, he placed gentle kisses on his neck. Magnus relaxed more and more, his body getting heavier until he snored quietly.

“Good night Magnus.” He sighed contently, his whole body filled with love and then wrapped the Warlock closer into his arms before falling asleep.

\---

“You sure look happy this morning.” Clary chirped, while shovelling a spoon of cereals into her mouth, Magnus tilted his head aside with a wide smirk and gave her a little wink, Clary licked her lips to hide her laughter and then eyed the tall Shadowhunter by his side who was in a discussion with his Parabatai. Izzy sat beside Alec staring into the void. Clary looked back at Magnus to see the obvious pink blush on his cheeks, knowing he would have to tell the story later.

Magnus perked up the moment he felt his magic tingle, like something was coming their way, he flinched the moment Alec shot his hand up and suddenly held a burning paper between his fingertips, Magnus almost fell off his chair and grabbed the table. He leant forward and opened his mouth, filling his lungs with air to blow out the fire when it suddenly flickered off. He stared at the paper with puffy cheeks and then at everyone else looking his way a little confused.

He let the air escape in a huff and then leant back, concentrating on his breakfast, while shielding his eyes. “It’s a fire message, Magnus.” Alec explained gently, without any judgement and Magnus nodded though he kept hidden, a little too embarrassed. He heard a soft snicker from his front and narrowed his eyes at the redhead.

“What does it say?” Jace asked, his mouth full. Alec read the message, his eyes squinted, his brow furrowed.

“It’s from Zarrine, she is a Warlock I contacted about Catarina, she says that Catarina left the Spiral Labyrinth 2 days ago. She says that she is at the Seelie Court.” Magnus perked up, letting his hand drop to the table. Catarina is free? She is with the Seelies? Why would she be with the Seelies? What was going on?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooooooo, Magnus finally opened up. Literally. Was about time right? I think he didn't expect what was coming for him. Let's hope he finally realizes that he can be honest with Alec at all times. So, Catarina is with the Seelies? Interesting. I sense drama ahead. I hope you enjoyed it! Thanks for all the kudos and comments on the last one!
> 
> Ps. Thanks for being so understanding, regarding the slower post rhythm.


	45. Chapter 45

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He slumped his shoulders while he rose his face to the sky, it looked peaceful, the whole place looked beautiful, but it wasn’t, Magnus knew that, he couldn’t trust the peace. The Seelies must be close, he had to watch his back at all times.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://ibb.co/Xyf4bn5)   


Magnus snatched the paper out of Alec’s hands and read it all over again while his expression darkened. “A trade? A trade for what? I don’t understand.” Magnus stuttered and then slammed the paper down on the table before facing his boyfriend, who looked just as confused and concerned as him. “I have to go there.” Magnus said and Alec clenched his jaw and shook his head almost immediately.

“No. We can’t go there-“

“They have Catarina, Alexander.” He said firmly and then got up with a squeak of his stool, Alec grabbed his wrist tightly, preventing him from running off.

“Wait! Let us think first, we can’t just march in after everything that had happened.” Alec tried to calm his boyfriend. The threat of the Seelie Queen still very present in his memory, she wanted Magnus, he couldn’t let him go there. That would be highly irresponsible.

“Alec is right Magnus; this might be a trap.” Clary added and Magnus shot his head towards her like she just betrayed him with her words. They didn’t understand, she was held hostage for so long and was now traded to the Seelies and all because of him, there was no time for plans and thinking, he had to free his friend! He owed her this much.

“But we have to help her.” Magnus said a little desperate but all he saw was tense faces, hard eyes, thin lips. They looked at each other, obviously knowing more than him or just not wanting to help. Maybe Catarina wasn’t their friend, maybe she didn’t mean as much to them as she did to him. Okay, well then, he would do this on his own.

“We will, we just need a plan first.” Alec said calmly and then loosened his grip on the Warlock and stroked his wrist with his thumb, almost like he senses his distress, sensed he was about to do it on his own. “Come on.” Alec got up too, the others followed instantly and they walked out of the Cafeteria, Alec gave Jace and Clary orders before heading for the computer with Izzy, Magnus followed him until he stopped in front of it and watched Alec do his work. He clicked through files, swiped over the computer too fast for Magnus to actually see what he was doing. He looked extremely concentrated.

Magnus let his eyes wander down his body and back up, hoping he didn’t see it. That damn Shadowhunter mode. He inhaled and shook the thoughts off, before coming a step closer.

“How can I help?” Magnus asked, fidgeting a little. He felt a little useless at the moment, everyone knew what to do and he just stood there. Even though it was his wish to help Catarina. Alec let his eyes sway over to Magnus and then back to the computer. His voice was higher than usual when he spoke again. “I will tell you when I know it, right now, there is not much you can do.” Alec shifted his eyes again, seeing the frustration in Magnus’ eyes. “Magnus, don’t worry, we will find her and we will save her.” He said calmer this time and Magnus nodded.

He left the scene a little reluctantly and went for the training room to work on his portal, knowing this might be helpful later. This was just awful. He felt like it was all his fault, everything that had happened to Catarina, she only meant to help. Why would she be with the Seelies? What did they want from her? Was she in danger?

Magnus returned to the ops center an hour later, a film of sweat on his forehead, the whole group stood in a circle around the computer, looking tense as fuck, they stopped talking as he reached the computer, which made Magnus inhale sharply.

“What’s the plan?” He asked and eyed every one of them. “What will we do?” He needed answers, now.

Alec smacked his lips a few times, his arms tightly crossed above his chest and then walked closer to his boyfriend before lowering his arms to his back, speaking as soft as possible. “Magnus, I can’t allow you to go there with us, we will do this without you.” Magnus felt his mouth go slack, his eyes widening as he saw the others avert their eyes from them respectfully.

“What? No. No! I will go there.” He said loudly.

“The Seelie Queen wants you Magnus, I can’t guarantee your safety-“ he was about to reach for Magnus’ arm.

“It’s not your job to guarantee my safety Alexander!” Magnus spat and Alec flinched before pulling his hand back. “I will go.” He repeated, quieter now. Alec had to understand that he can make his own decisions. He is an adult and also way older than Alec himself, he has seen worse than him, he was more powerful, Alec telling him what he was allowed to do and what not was just not okay. He didn’t need to play by his rules. Alec blinked his eyes a few times and then wetted his lips. “You can either come with me or not.” Magnus said straightening his body, his voice firm, leaving no space for arguments.

Alec might be the Head of the Institute here, but they are equals in their relationship and if he had to snap at Alec and put him into his place to make him understand then he will do just that. Even though it didn’t feel good.

“We will all go, together.” Clary suddenly interrupted, Magnus looked past Alec to the others who nodded firmly. A little thankful smile appeared on his lips, he then looked back at Alec, not as hard as before, more in a silent plea. Of course, he could do what he wanted and he just said he would but he wanted Alec’s approval nonetheless, he wanted him on his side, wanted him by his side. Wanted to have his support.

Alec searched his eyes and then nodded. “Yes, we will go together.” Magnus face softened, the smile spreading. He took a step forward and cupped Alec’s cheeks before placing his lips on Alec’s plump ones, thanking him for his cooperation, for his support. Alec returned the kiss, not caring that they were watched at all, until they heard a quiet clearing of the throat from behind. They parted, though not taking the eyes off each other.

“I am sorry, I didn’t mean to yell at you.” Magnus whispered so only Alec could hear, his eyes still on his boyfriend, his palms still cupping his cheeks.

“It’s okay, I deserved it. I only want to protect you Magnus.” And it was the truth. He sometimes forgot that Magnus was not a defenceless young man but an old powerful Warlock, it was just so hard for Alec to let go, he had lost him before and he didn’t want it to happen again. But he knew he was over the top with his behaviour, telling Magnus what to do, it wasn’t his to decide and his boyfriend was stubborn, 100 or 400 years old didn’t matter, he was awfully stubborn.

“I know.” Magnus gasped and stroked his cheeks with his thumbs. Alec then leant back and turned around. “I will have to prepare a few things, let’s meet again at 2, be prepared for everything.” The others nodded and they all parted to get ready.

Magnus had enchanted Chairman Meow’s bowl to magically fill on its own and then magicked himself a better outfit, sturdy boots, jeans, a pullover, his thick jacket, gloves, hat and scarf. It was almost winter after all. He had spent most of his time reading through his spell book to get mentally ready before he went down to meet the others quarter to 2.

He saw Izzy and Jace emerge from the weapons room, fully armed. Clary coming from the other way, her stele in hand and a fierce look on her face, while Alec came walking from the corridor leading to his office, Alec gave him a look, chuckling at his completely wrapped up boyfriend like he was going for a hike through some snowy mountains. It was just then that Magnus noticed Simon standing near the computer.

“I heard we are going to beat some Seelie asses?” He said, slamming his fist into his palm and Izzy chuckled beside him before giving him a cheek kiss.

“Thought we could need some more help.” Izzy explained and they all nodded at each other.

“I can only take us to a place I know, portaling us right in front of the Queen might not be the best choice, so I will portal us to the Seelie glade, the edge of their realm. Meliorn has brought us there once, I know where it is.” Alec nodded her way and Clary drew her rune before stretching her arm forward, the portal appeared right in front of her. “Let’s go!” She gestured for them to walk through, Izzy and Simon did first, then Alec and Magnus, followed by Jace with Clary last.

Magnus stepped on the forest ground; the air was cold around him. He blinked his eyes and then swung his head around realising…he was alone. “Alexander!” He screamed, his body immediately tensing. Why was he alone? Where were the others?! “Clary?” He circled around himself, but there was nobody. He was in the middle of a forest with nobody around. Great. With a sigh he made his way forward and stalked through the forest, not really knowing where he was heading. “Jace?!”

Magnus didn’t know for how long he had been walking, he could hear birds sing in the distance, it almost sounded like he was in some jungle, he remembered that atmosphere, he was close to the Seelie realm, but why weren’t the others portaled here too? His breath left his lips in visible puffs from the cold. He checked his cell phone but he had no connection here. Of fucking course. The ground was covered in leaves and bushes and he had to lift his boots up high to make his way through it.

He hoped that Alec and the others were okay, that they weren’t in some kind of danger. He could protect himself with his magic, he didn’t worry about himself. Magnus shimmied his shoulders, feeling the cold sneak through his jacket, his face felt frozen. He saw something shimmering in the distance, the closer he got the more he realised that it was some kind of river or lake. He reached the shore of what seemed like a wide lake, the water wasn’t flowing. It looked bitter cold.

He slumped his shoulders while he rose his face to the sky, it looked peaceful, the whole place looked beautiful, but it wasn’t, Magnus knew that, he couldn’t trust the peace. The Seelies must be close, he had to watch his back at all times.

“Magnus!” Magnus flinched hard, maybe he wasn’t watching his back so good after all. He swung his head around to see Izzy and Simon come his way, their weapons in hand. “Oh, it’s so good to see you, I feared the worst!” Izzy said as she rushed into his arms and they hugged deeply, Magnus felt more than relieved to see their faces and had to peel himself away rather reluctant before he embraced Simon just as tight. “Are you alright?” She asked once Simon and him parted. He wondered about the fact she was so worried about him for a second, after all he was the Warlock and not them.

“Yes, I am, I’ve only been wandering around and you?”

“Yeah, same. Where is my brother?” She said while brushing her hair back.

“I’ve not seen anyone since I came here, he is not with me.” Magnus answered regretfully. He would have loved to say something different. Izzy visibly sighed and then froze, looking across the lake, Simon and Magnus followed her line of sight to see a jumping figure on the other side of the lake, waving their arms around.

“Is that Jace?” Simon asked and Magnus nodded while walking closer to the lake shore.

“Jace!” Izzy shouted across the lake and Jace stretched his arm up in return before he darted forward and jumped into the ice cold water, Magnus cringed internally and then snapped a big blanket into his hands, waiting for the Shadowhunter to cross the lake, he instantly welcomed him with the blanket the moment Jace stumbled out of the water, shivering. He snapped his fingers to dry him before he wrapped the blanket around his body tightly.

“Th-thanks.” He stuttered with blue lips and fidgeted with his hands to grab the blanket. “I’v-I’ve been l-looking for you.”

“It seems we were all separated when we came through.” Izzy stated while pushing her hands into her sides.

“How is that possible?” Magnus asked, turning to the brunette and away from Jace, still one arm around him.

“I don’t know, portals are not my speciality. We have to ask Clary what happened when we find her.”

“Is she- she with you?” Jace asked with big eyes and Izzy shook her head.

“We haven’t seen her, or Alec.” Magnus saw the fear in Jace’s eyes, the fear for his girlfriend and he could relate, oh how he could relate. He stroked his back to silently tell him that he felt the same.

“We will find them.” Izzy added, soothingly. “We found you too, they will be around somewhere. Let’s go.” She said and walked off, her whip in hand. Simon followed immediately while Magnus stayed with Jace, still warming him up as they made their way forward.

\---

Alec flinched the moment he stepped through the portal and landed in cold water, he gasped and immediately swam towards the shore, he stumbled out of the water and shivered roughly, he shrugged his wet jacket off, his pullover and pants sticking to his skin. What happened? Why was he here? What’s going on? Where’s Magnus? He looked around but saw nothing but trees, bushes and water. What was going on in here, how come they were separated? This wasn’t normal, this must be the Seelie Queen’s doing, maybe this was a trap? Fuck this was a trap. It must be.

He didn’t have enough functioning brain cells to think any further, his brain was frozen. “Magnus?!” He stuttered as loud as possible and then reached into his pants, petting the fabrics. Shit. His stele was gone. He turned around and stared at the water, there was no way he would go back in there to look for it.

He made his way along the shoreline, trembling hard. He wrapped his arms around his freezing body and stroked it, trying to warm up. He shivered along the lake, not really knowing where he was heading, when he saw someone walk towards him in the distance. The red hair was unmistakable. She began to run, Alec would too if he could. Even though Clary and him never really got along too well he was grateful to see her. Very grateful.

“Alec!” She gasped and her smile faded as she saw his current constitution, she immediately snatched her stele from her pants and drew an Iratze on his skin, Alec felt his body warm up. He took it from her as soon as he was able to move and drew on his stamina rune too before handing it back to her.

“Thank you.” He said and Clary put her stele back before she wrapped her arms around him, Alec leant down and swung one arm around her, returning the hug.

“I am so happy to see you; you have no idea!”

“Where is Jace?” Alec answered, maybe a bit too harsh.

“I don’t know, I was alone when I went through the portal, you are the first one I saw.” Alec sighed frustrated, so Jace, Izzy and Simon were still out there, just as Magnus. Magnus…he was out there, alone. Maybe it was all planned, maybe they wanted to separate them to get Magnus. No. That can’t be, that couldn’t be true. Shit. He had to find him if the Queen didn’t already have him. Why did they come here, why did he let him go here? He should have insisted on his decision. He should have kept him safe.

“How come we were separated?” Alec asked and Clary shook her head with wide eyes.

“I have no idea how that happened. Do you think it’s the Seelies doing?”

“I am very sure the Seelie Queen is behind this. There is no other explanation. She is playing with us. This was all a trap.” Clary nodded, though she hated the thought she felt it was true.

“I am sure he is okay; Magnus is strong Alec.” Alec shot her a look.

“I know that, thank you.” He bitched and then began to walk along the lake, Clary followed after rolling her eyes.

“I am just trying to-“

“Don’t! Just…don’t.” He stopped her and walked off; he didn’t want to hear any of it. He didn’t really want to talk to her at all.

“Okay, I know that you hate me, but that is no excuse to treat me like that, I never meant to hurt you or Magnus, it was never my intention that-“

“I said stop!” Alec yelled as he turned around, staring down at the small girl in front of him, she didn’t flinch as most others would probably do, she looked up at him with determination in her eyes. “I know it wasn’t your intention, I know you didn’t want to hurt anyone, but still you did and it doesn’t change what happened. You took away my fiancé, the love of my life, it’s your fault we are in this whole mess, yours Clary!” Now Clary flinched, she pressed her lips together. Alec knew he was being too hard, he regretted his words the moment they left his mouth, he was just so exhausted, tired, cold, afraid and completely overwhelmed by this whole situation. And Clary was…well, there.

“I’m sorry Alec. I know it is, but I didn’t make it on purpose, it was an accident! Besides that, you can’t tell me you are not enjoying your time with Magnus, the young Magnus just as much, love him just as much, I know all about it Alec, Magnus tells me everything. Don’t tell me you are not loving the way you get to be the first for Magnus, I see it in your eyes. You can be angry with me all you want, but don’t pretend you are hurting and hating this, because you are not!” She yelled back, her eyes challenging. Alec’s mouth dropped.

“What did you do to bring Magnus back? Did you try at all? Or did you just sit back and enjoy to get to be Magnus first boyfriend?” Clary challenged and Alec felt his breath pick up, not having seen this coming at all. “You might not see it, but I gave you something, both of you, something special that nobody ever had before. It’s something beautiful you have there.” Her voice turned soft now and Alec pressed his lips together. “Go on and hate me. I don’t care.” She turned and then walked off alone, leaving a bewildered Alec behind.

Alec hadn’t expected that…at all. She has always been fierce and always said her mind but still- he hated that she was right. With all of it. She gave him something special, something nobody else had and could experience. He deserved this, he deserved every word of it and all her frustration.

He followed slowly until he walked by her side again, though she didn’t look his way for one second.

“I am sorry for yelling at you…I am sorry…I’m sorry for being a dick.” Alec whispered and Clary shook her head with a smile.

“You are. But I forgive you. Because that is what friends do.” Alec shifted his eyes aside and felt even worse. He nodded firmly; his cheeks flushed. Clary eyed him, seeing he was ashamed. “You should get out of these clothes or you will catch a bad cold.” She changed the topic to ease his discomfort.

“What do you want me to do? Walk around naked?” Clary shrugged.

“I have a scarf.” She said unwrapping the big rose coloured scarf from her shoulders. Alec blinked his eyes and then tilted his head with a ‘are you shitting me’ expression and then sighed as he accepted his fate, he took the rim of his pullover in hand and pulled it off before stepping out of his pants and boots. Clary reached forward and wrapped the scarf around his tall body until he looked like a medieval Greek.

“You have to be kidding me.” Alec scoffed but Clary only shrugged again with a suppressed grin.

“It suits you.”

“Can we just walk?”

“Yeah sure.” She said and they returned to their walk along the lakeside, it seemed endless and Alec was still trembling, he knew he looked awfully ridiculous, his stuff in hands, his bow on the back, covered in some rose coloured fabric like a walking gift. If the Seelies decided to attack again they would probably faint from laughing so hard. Well, could be worse. They wouldn’t have to deal with them then.

“Alec I would like to tell you something, about Magnus.” Clary broke the silence after they walked for what felt like ages. Alec couldn’t feel his legs anymore.

“What is it?”

“Last time we talked, he told me about…a conversation you two had, he let me know that he was uncomfortable with it. It was about…you know…sex. He seemed like he wasn’t ready and afraid to tell you, I thought that you should know.” Alec felt his cheeks blush even though it was hellish cold. He never thought he would speak to Clary about his sex life. This really was the weirdest day ever.

“He told me already. But thanks.” And he meant it, if Magnus hadn’t told him already, he would feel grateful Clary did.

“He did? Okay good. That’s good. I felt like he was rushed into something he doesn’t want.”

“I am not rushing him into anything, we talked about it, he knows I wouldn’t-“ he trailed off, not wanting to go on about it, this was too intimate and awkward for him.

“Alec…” She stopped walking and then grabbed his arm to make him stop too, he turned to look at her. “You should tell him what happened. Tell him the truth. Before you two do this. He has to know all the facts; it’s been long enough. I wish you would have done so already; it doesn’t feel right but it’s not ours to tell Alec.” Alec felt his breath hitch for a moment. He looked around a little helpless. How could this get even worse?

“I know…I know that. I have to. I want to.” He stuttered and then let his shoulders slump, he exhaled slowly. “I am just so afraid of his reaction, I should have done it right in the beginning and not listen to Catarina, I should have told him, it’s too late, we are too far in, when I tell him he- I don’t know…” Clary’s face softened and she reached out to stroke his arm gently. “What if he…- Clary I can’t live without him.” His voice broke.

“Magnus can’t live without you either Alec.” Alec smiled, even though it was a little forced, he blinked his eyes to prevent from crying, why was he so emotional, he didn’t get to voice his fears before, to talk about this, Jace wasn’t the right one to talk to about these things, Clary was he noticed, she had something soothing about her. She wasn’t judging much, she understood, she took him seriously, it felt good. He felt like a stone fell off his chest. It felt freeing. Now all he had to do, was actually tell him. Somehow, he felt braver about it now. Maybe having Clary by his side right now wasn’t as bad as he had thought.

\---

Magnus couldn’t tell for how long they were walking now, it felt like hours, he didn’t feel his feet anymore, they were frozen but he moved nonetheless, Simon’s banter kept him entertained while Izzy and Jace walked in front of them, leading the way like the soldiers they were. They spent the time talking and playing stupid games like I spy with my eye, until Simon began to sing and Magnus chimed in, until they were full on giving an open air concert and Izzy groaned frustrated.

“Couldn’t I have ended up with Clary and Alec instead.” She murmured. Singing actually warmed him up, he moved quicker, lighter, he marched to the rhythm. But most of all it took his mind off of Alec. Jace chuckled beside her, not really minding it, he looked over his shoulder with a smirk, seeing the boys actually having some kind of fun and restrained from chiming in, someone had to stay on Izzy’s side.

“We should take a break; it’s getting dark already.” Izzy suggested and they stopped. Magnus looked around himself to find a place with some space and then snapped his fingers having a fire appear on the ground to warm them up, they happily settled down around it and warmed themselves.

“I am starving.” Simon said and Izzy looked at him a little horrified. “Maybe I can find a rabbit or something.” He got back up and then left in a blur. Magnus, Izzy and Jace stared into the crackling fire.

“I am sorry for this mess.” Magnus broke the silence but Izzy quickly shook her head.

“It’s not your fault Magnus. We decided to come along and we all want to help Catarina. Nobody knew that this would happen.”

“Still. I insisted on coming here, you only wanted to protect me. Now…we don’t know where Clary and Alec are and if they are in danger and…we don’t know where we are and where we have to go…” He looked around himself and into the dark forest.

“Izzy is right, it was our own decision to come.” Jace was quick to reassure him, seeing the sorrowful expression on Magnus’ face.

“So, you are having fun without us?” Clary said and they shot their heads up to see Clary walking closer from the other direction, a wide grin on her dirt smudged face. She looked exhausted but happy, Jace stumbled to his feet and ran into her, lifting her up from the ground to swirl her around while Clary laughed loudly. Izzy’s face lit up and Magnus got to his feet, about to welcome Clary as second when another figure emerged from the dark forest.

It took Magnus all but 1 second to realise who it was, even in the dark there was no mistaking Alec’s figure and walk, he rushed past the happy couple and slammed into Alec so hard that he stumbled backwards while swinging one arm around Magnus’ back, dropping all his belongings instantly, the other one followed and they hugged so deep Magnus felt like melting into him, they swayed from one foot to the other while Magnus dug his fingers into Alec’s back, his heart beating like a drum. He was so happy, so relieved, it was almost overwhelming. He had Alec back and he was okay. That was all that mattered.

Magnus leant back from their hug as he realised, he had touched skin and then took a look at Alec. “Alexander…” He whispered. “What happened to you?” He looked down realising it was some rose coloured fabric around his naked body and he was barefooted “What- what is this?” He snatched the fabric, pulling it up with a grimace. Alec shrugged and unwrapped himself, throwing the scarf Clary’s way and Magnus was momentarily distracted, his eyes stuck on Alec’s naked upper body and his moving muscles.

“I landed in the water when I went through the portal, I had to take them off, Clary gave me her scarf.” He said with a grimace, Magnus nodded, not minding this at all, he was just too happy he had Alec back in his arms and that he was okay. “I think it’s the Seelie Queen messing with us. Magnus, I am so glad you are okay.” He said and pulled the Warlock’s cheeks into his palms and pressed forward until his lips met Magnus’, Magnus hummed in surprise but then pushed forward and kissed him back with all the love and happiness he had in him.

“Me too.” Magnus whispered once their lips parted.

“I will always come back.” Alec whispered back while smiling, Magnus felt his heart do double flops.

“I’ve never doubted you.” Alec grinned, shaking his head until he heard someone clear their throat again and they turned to look at the group.

“Look somewhere else.” Alec spat and Jace snorted.

“Come on, let’s get you warm.” Magnus said and then pulled him to the fire, he swung one arm around Clary on his way and hugged her tightly. “I am so happy you are okay Biscuit.” He gasped and then sat his boyfriend down by the fire, sitting down beside him.

“So, you came from the other direction, which means we are heading the wrong way.” Izzy said, sitting back down at the fire. Magnus handed his shivering boyfriend his magically dried clothes before stroking through his messy hair. He looked exhausted, cold and frustrated.

“I’ve got some-“ Simon said as he stepped through the trees towards them, his face immediately lighting up as he saw Clary and Alec, he rushed to his friend and hugged her tightly. “Where have you two been?”

“We came from the other direction, it’s nothing there, we definitely have to cross the lake tomorrow, there seems to be no way around, maybe it’s the border of the realm.” Clary answered.

“Jace, you came from the other side, did you see anything?” Izzy requested.

“I was too distracted to search for you guys to be honest.” Jace answered with a shrug.

“Well, we came from here and there was nothing. I agree with Clary, we will have to swim to the other side tomorrow.”

“This is a disaster.” Alec said and silence followed, everyone quietly agreeing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, they are on their way. A lot of things happened in this one, they went together, got seperated, found each other again, yay 😁 We love this 'whole gang time' right? Having them all together and work hand in hand. Let's hope things work out well for them. Alec and Clary finally had a talk, after all this build up tension and Clary clearly had enough now. Is Alec finally ready to tell him? Is this the right time? Hm 😶 Thanks for all the kudos and comments on the last one!
> 
> The fic reached 30.000 hits and I'm-...thank you all so much for sticking around and all the lovely feedback! You guys are the best! 😍


	46. Chapter 46

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m not. I’m just-“ He inhaled and then shot his head aside with a frightened expression the moment he heard something crack. Magnus followed his line of sight to a white fluffy bunny hopping by. Magnus lowered his head, licking his lips, trying not to comment right now. “Just shut up.” Alec groaned and walked away. Magnus let the laugh bubble out, a loud and warm sound echoing through the forest. “You are an idiot.” Magnus lifted his upper body that had bent from laughing and then stretched his arm forward suddenly.
> 
> “Alexander, wait!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://ibb.co/T1VknTG)   


“Well, we have fire to keep us warm, it’s not that bad. If we had food and beds it would be grant though.” Jace shrugged. 

“Oh, I can help with that.” Magnus said before snapping his fingers to have plates, glasses, meat, bread and water appear on their laps.

“Wow, thanks!” Clary said and they dived in like wild animals. Magnus stared at them for a second and then lowered his eyes to eat. Magnus observed Alec as he ate, he couldn’t take his eyes off of him, fearing he would disappear again. Alec noticed and winked at him which made Magnus avert his eyes with a blush. Alec put the plate down to pull on his pullover and then drank his water.

“Don’t you have something else…like beer?” Jace gestured to his empty water glass and Magnus squinted his eyes.

“We are not here to party Jace, we have to stay clear headed and alert.” Izzy said while Jace still wiggled his glass towards Magnus. Magnus snapped his fingers, filling his glass with beer while conjuring more bottles in the middle of the group. Simon and Clary instantly grabbed them and drank. Magnus looked to Alec who shook his head while lifting his hand.

“I want to stay sober.” Magnus nodded and then took a beer himself, drinking it up before he got to his feet, Alec followed his every move while Magnus walked to an empty space behind them between a few trees. He stretched his arms aside and pushed his palms down forcefully, a wave of blue magic came rushing out of his fingers and covered the ground until a big and grey tent appeared on the forest ground. Clary yelped in surprise.

“Wow! Magnus!” Magnus turned to look over his shoulder with a wink and Clary jumped to her feet before rushing into the big tent. “Wow!” she said again while Magnus chuckled. “There are beds!” Izzy immediately got up and went into the tent, while Simon did the same. Magnus followed them.

“Yeah, we should get some rest.” Alec said and gave his Parabatai a look before he got up as well, Jace drank up and then followed him inside.

It was three big mattresses inside all with bedding in different colours, two on one side and one in between on the other, Clary lay on the left one while Izzy crawled onto the first on the right, Magnus went to the far end mattress, Simon and Jace crouched down and went inside too, it was partly lit from the fire but except that a little too dark.

“Where are you?” Simon asked and Izzy stretched her arm to grab Simon’s hand to lead him to her mattress, Jace went to the left while the tent’s opening lifted again when Alec came in, almost bent in half due to his height, he knelt down and fingered his way forward.

“Ouch! That was my foot.” Izzy yelped.

“Sorry!”

“Hey!” Jace barked.

“Sorry! Man. I’m sorry. I am too big for this.” Alec whined as he tried to get to the last mattress, having to go above the others. Jace snorted loudly.

“Not the right time for dick jokes buddy.”

“I wasn’t talking about my dick Jace!” Alec stopped and looked in Jace’s general direction.

“Oh god, really! Can you please stop talking about my brother’s penis?” Izzy whined with a cringe.

“She said penis.” Simon repeated with a snort.

“By the angel, are you 15?” she said while slapping his leg.

“I just don’t like the word; I like dick better.”

“Sure damn you do.” Jace returned with a laugh.

“Guys. Please.” Clary then chimed in while Alec finally made his way to Magnus without hurting anyone else, Magnus lifted the covers for him and he slid under them, before squirming on his spot, turning and tossing until he lay on his back, Magnus covered his body with it and snuggled closer towards him, laying one arm around his stomach. He noticed Alec flinch and then took it off.

“What’s wrong?” Magnus whispered as quiet as possible and Alec looked around himself even though it was pitch dark, the others were talking.

“I just- I don’t…” He mumbled and Magnus gasped. Ah okay. He didn’t want to cuddle with his siblings around.

“Do you guys mind if we cuddle?” Magnus asked loudly and felt Alec look at him.

“Magnus!” Alec scolded.

“Nope. Go ahead. Just no penetration please.” Jace answered and Alec groaned while hiding his red face in his palms.

“Yeah, sure.” Clary answered as well.

“Nobody is going to prevent me from cuddling.” Simon answered and Magnus turned to Alec.

“See.” Alec groaned again and then turned on his side towards Magnus while Magnus pulled his arms down from his face and wrapped his own around him. Alec did the same though a little tentatively. Even though the situation was off, tense and completely ridiculous, it felt okay, he had his friends around, but most of all, he had Alec. Nothing was ever bad with Alec around.

“Now, isn’t this cosy? Who knew we’d go camping one day?” Jace said, breaking the silence.

“Quiet now, I need my beauty sleep.” Izzy mumbled.

“Good night everyone!” Clary said and they all said their good nights. Magnus kept stroking Alec’s back lazily and breathed into his face, feeling Alec’s warm breath dance over his face in return.

“I missed you.” He whispered and he could hear Alec huff.

“I missed you too.” He whispered back.

“And I missed you all.” Jace whispered and then yelped as Clary hit him on the shin.

“Good Night Alexander.”

“Good Night Magnus.”

\---

Magnus awoke softly and slowly, his eyes fluttering open, he felt a familiar warmth on his back, the familiar sound of Alec’s breathing, his long and strong arms around his chest and stomach. It was still dark and he wanted nothing more than to get back to sleep, melt into him and just stay in bed, when his eyes met the tent in front of him. Oh! Right, they weren’t in bed. He slowly turned in Alec’s arms and watched his boyfriend sleep for a moment, this was one of his favourite looks, Alec was so peaceful when he was asleep. He would love to take all the drama and stress away from him, he would take it all if he could.

He brushed a thick curl off Alec’s forehead and smiled lovingly, wondering how he ever deserved a boyfriend and life like this. He felt Alec stir beneath his fingers and quickly pulled them off, he didn’t want to wake him, he slipped out of the sheets and tip toed out of the tent and through the pile of legs, then snapped a thick blanket into his hands before shrugging it over his shoulders and around himself. He went outside quietly and inhaled the cold night air, feeling it burn in his lungs. Though a good kind of burn.

He walked closer to the water, it looked mesmerising, the moon and stars mirroring in the lake, everything was tinted in blue light, the trees moved in the wind, he could hear rustling of leaves. It was soothing and beautiful. He looked across the lake, wondering where Catarina was, how she was and if he would ever see her again. He had caused so much trouble for his friend without even meaning to. She didn’t deserve any of this. But it seems it was his duty to save her, in whatever dimension and he always would.

“Hey.” Magnus flinched so hard his blanket almost fell down as he swung his head around. “Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you.” Alec rasped as he emerged from the tent with a jacket on. “Why are you outside?” He whispered and came closer, before he wrapped his arms around Magnus body and held him close, leaning his chin on the Warlock’s shoulders.

“I was thinking…couldn’t sleep.” 

“Catarina?” Magnus felt his eye twitch, how come he knew him so well, it was astonishing.

“Yes, Catarina.”

“She is fine Magnus; I am sure and we will find her soon.” He leant his head aside and kissed Magnus’ earlobe gently while Magnus leant back into Alec’s embrace and his warm body. He leant his face aside to Alec’s so their noses touched and breathed for a moment only, until Alec tilted his head some more and came closer, their lips touched tentatively, like they didn’t quite dare to kiss, but it soon deepened and Magnus hummed against Alec’s soft lips while Alec cupped his cheek to tilt his head back some more.

Magnus backed off suddenly with a shy chuckle.

“What?” Alec asked, a little startled.

“They are right there in the tent.”

“So I can’t kiss my boy-“ Alec began and then stopped himself as an intense déjà vu washed over him.

“Are you okay?” Magnus asked as he saw Alec’s surprised expression and Alec quickly shook himself out of it.

“Yeah. I am.” He gasped. “They don’t mind. You heard them, as long as we don’t do any sort of penetration, we are fine.” Magnus snorted loudly and Alec hushed him quickly.

“It’s a little too cold for that anyways.” Magnus whispered and then looked back up at Alec’s shimmering eyes, he could see the moonlight in them.

“I don’t know…I wouldn’t mind.” Alec whispered back, softly, almost shy.

“Me neither.” Magnus agreed just as quiet. They looked at each other intensely, in silent agreement and understanding. Obviously, it has been a while. A long while. There was actually little Magnus wanted more than to sleep with his boyfriend again. Very little. They just never had the time.

Magnus quickly looked across the lake again and Alec did the same, better get their minds off of that. Magnus opened and closed his mouth a few times and Alec began to watch him silently.

“What is it?” Alec chuckled as he watched Magnus act like a fish for a few minutes.

“They want to cross the lake tomorrow-“

“So? I think they are right; the Seelie realm is obviously not on this side.”

“There is something I didn’t tell you.” Alec tensed beside him, his chuckle dropped off his face, making way for concern. He waited for Magnus to continue.

“I can’t swim.”

“What?”

“I can’t swim.” Magnus repeated and looked aside with a little blush around his nose.

“You can’t swim? How come I never knew that?” Alec’s voice was louder than before, probably too loud.

“It never came up…” Magnus said with a shrug. “You don’t know everything about me Alexander.” Alec pressed his lips together, wondering why he didn’t know that. But well, maybe he learned to swim in all the hundreds of years until they met. But…did he ever see Magnus swim? Did they ever go swimming? No, they never did. He didn’t even wonder about it before but now it seemed suspicious, maybe Magnus never went or asked because he still couldn’t swim.

“There is nothing wrong with that…”

“But we have to cross the lake.” Magnus stated and Alec’s eyes suddenly cleared, finally understanding the problem.

“Oh.”

“Yeah, oh.”

“We will manage Magnus; I will help you.” Alec nodded firmly and then pressed his lips against Magnus temple, Magnus closed his eyes for a second and then looked back up at him. “We should get back to bed, we have a long day ahead.” Magnus nodded and then walked back inside the tent; Alec followed. Magnus swiftly hopped through the mattresses and landed on his mattress, he slid under the sheets and hummed in appreciation while Alec tried to make his way across with a few groans from everyone. He finally managed and dropped down, quickly pulled Magnus into his arms and breathed against his nape.

Magnus awoke again, it was morning. He lay on his back with Alec nestled against his side and one arm across him, one leg above his own. He was almost on top of him, but Magnus didn’t mind it one bit. Magnus smiled at the way Alec needed his warmth and body, wanted to be as close as possible even in his sleep. He looked down on himself to see an empty mattress, he let his head drop back down with a frown and then lifted it again to look over Alec’s shoulder, the second mattress was empty too. Magnus frown deepened.

He tapped Alec’s shoulder to have him stir awake, he opened his eyes quickly and unfocused and looked around himself to see where he was. “It’s okay. I’m here, we are in the tent.” Alec’s eyes focused on Magnus and he relaxed. “But I don’t see the others.” He said calm to not startle Alec, but he did anyways, Alec shot up and looked around himself.

“Izzy?!” He shouted and then shoved the sheets aside when there was no answer, he almost ran out of the tent and Magnus followed a little reluctantly, he was still sleepy. They sure were just by the fire or- he froze as he saw the empty space in front of them.

“Where are they?” He asked, grabbing himself around the arms to keep warm as he circled around himself.

“Oh no.” Alec said after he had observed the place. Already full awake and alert. “They are gone.”

“The Seelies.” Magnus gasped and then went back inside to get dressed quickly, Alec followed and they dressed in tense silence before they left the tent and Magnus snapped the tent and fire away. Alec looked ahead across the lake, shielding his eyes from the sun, the sky was clear, it was still bitterly cold though. Alec let out a little huff of air, with a smile on his lips.

“At least you are here. I wouldn’t know what I’d do if I had lost you again.” Magnus observed his boyfriend intensely.

“You won’t get rid of me that easily.” He said with a wink and then looked across the lake too. He saw Alec walk past him and halt in front of the water.

“I know you won’t like this…but we have to cross the lake now.” He looked over his shoulder back to Magnus with a grimace. Magnus felt his face freeze. “I will warm you up on the other side, I promise.” Alec smirked and then stretched out his arm. Magnus would laugh and happily jump into the water at that offer but he couldn’t, he felt completely frozen.

“Alexander, I can’t.” Alec shook his head and then walked closer to the Warlock to grab his hand gently and then pulled on him softly.

“Of course, you can, come on.” Magnus felt Alec pull him to the water and he felt his body tense up, a deep urge to turn around and run. His heartbeat picked up as Alec kept pulling and he stepped into the water, the transparent liquid swallowing his boots. He felt his chin tremble, his nose flaring. “I’ve got you.” Alec repeated and turned around to Magnus, taking his second hand in his own. Magnus stood like he was rooted to the ground, his upper body bent forward as Alec pulled on him.

Magnus took anther step forward before he would lose his balance and watched the water envelop his knees. “I can’t-“ Magnus said again and tried to fight against the tremble that rocked through his body from both the cold and fear.Alec looked down at him determined.

“Magnus, we can do this. Okay. We can do this. Look at me.” Magnus focused his eyes on Alec. “We can do this together. Hop onto my back, I will swim you over.” Alec turned back around and stepped deeper into the water until it reached his stomach, without a single shiver, how did he do that? Knowing he was smaller; the water would probably reach up to his chest if he followed. Fuck. He turned his head to look back to the land, the place where the tent had been with a longing in his eyes and then back at Alec who waited patiently for him.

Magnus inhaled deeply and then walked closer to Alec, focusing on him completely. He lifted his hands as it reached them and then stopped at the thighs, he looked down, slightly afraid of that most painful step where the water reaches the crotch. Gathering all his courage he walked deeper inside quickly and groaned loudly, his groin freezing. His body trembled more and more. “There is no warming me up on the other side Alexander, I- I think we have to say goodbye to my balls.” He stuttered and heard Alec giggle.

“Let that be my problem.” Alec grinned. Magnus groaned again and then almost jumped against Alec’s back, swinging his arms and legs around the tall Shadowhunter until he clung onto him like a koala. Alec reached under his thighs and jumped him higher and then let him go again. “Are you ready? Hold on tight okay?”

“Oh, I won’t let go off you, don’t worry. You are stuck with me now.” He clutched his boyfriend tight. “I’m scared Alexander.” Magnus admitted, not caring that it was slightly embarrassing.

“Close your eyes.” Alec said as he dived forward and slid into the water.

“What?” Magnus flinched and held on for dear life.

“Close your eyes…trust me.” Magnus clenched his jaw, he wanted him to close his eyes? Oh god. “I won’t drop you, don’t worry.” Alec said in a calm voice and then began to swim steadily. Magnus closed his eyes. He felt his heart beat fast against his ribcage, the cold hurt and it was frightening to be in the middle of the lake, he would totally freak if he wouldn’t have Alec with him, Alec’s body against his own soothed him, as it always did. He tried to focus on Alec’s movements, on his breathing only. Alec checked on him from time to time but it didn’t take him long to reach the other side. He was a good swimmer.

“Open your eyes.” Alec said and Magnus did, they had reached the other lake shore. Magnus felt so relieved he could cry, he parted from him when he felt the ground beneath his feet and almost ran out of the water and past Alec and then sat down on the ground once he was out, Alec knelt down next to him, panting a little. Magnus immediately reached for his boyfriend and stroked his back, feeling his whole body shivering. So, he was cold. He had tried to hide it…urgh. He was so distracted by himself and his problems that he didn’t see it before. He looked exhausted and frozen.

Magnus tried to snap his fingers, but he trembled too hard. Alec turned around to sit as well and then took Magnus’ fingers into his own cold palms and blew hot air inside a little shakily before rubbing them. Even though he felt cold himself and had blue lips he tried to warm Magnus instantly.

“Alexander…you don’t have to.” Magnus murmured even though it felt really good.

“We need your hands to get warm, your magic.” He stuttered. “And I want to.” Magnus nodded and let Alec warm his hands before he pulled them back and snapped his now warm fingers to dry them both, both gasped simultaneously and sighed before falling back on the rocky ground with their backs, they looked up while panting. “Thanks…also for helping me across the lake.”

“You don’t have to thank me for that. You are my boyfriend and you would have done the same.” Magnus gasped and almost choke on his own spit when a hand grabbed his balls. “Still working.” Alec mumbled after he had felt him flinch to the touch and pulled his hand away again.

“You are unbelievable Alexander.”

“I had to make sure.”

“Of course.” Magnus pushed himself up and then leant over to place a kiss on Alec’s cold forehead, he pulled back an inch and then lowered his face to place a kiss on the tip of his nose before he hovered over his lips. He watched Alec smile up at him, his eyes sparkling and then kissed him, gently. Alec grabbed his sides and pulled him closer. “We should- ehm…you know.” Magnus murmured after a few minutes, both their lips kiss swollen and Alec nodded before they got up, Magnus looked aside to see a big bulge on Alec’s crotch and then pinched his own boxers that suddenly felt really tight.

“Yeah, we should.” Alec agreed and then gestured for Magnus to walk and followed him. At least they were warm now.

They stalked through the thick forest grounds. Alec followed him while groaning occasionally. “You behave like you’re in nature for the first time.” Magnus said with a chuckle, trying to make a joke and Alec just huffed.

“I’ve grown up in New York as you know, it’s far from what I’d call nature.” Magnus turned around with wide eyes.

“Are you serious?” Alec shrugged. “What about camping?”

“My mother would have cut her own arm rather than sleep in a tent.”

“So, you have basically been inside the Institute your whole life?”

“Basically.” He shrugged again like it was no big deal. “We just never had the time to do other things. Every day is about training, learning, missions, killing demons…”

“What about your hobbies?”

“As I said, there is no time for hobbies.”

“Alexander, if you fail to grant time for the things you care about, you’ll forget why you’re even fighting at all.” Alec’s head whipped around so quick he felt lightheaded for a moment. His heart began to swell and pound in his chest whenever he heard Magnus quote himself, realising he has always been awfully wise even at a young age. Magnus noticed the sudden change of his expression and changed the subject. “You never talked about your parents before, where are they?” The sounds of branches breaking below their boots accompanied every step.

“My parents are divorced, my father lives in Los Angeles with my brother Max and my mother lives in New York with her new boyfriend. Luke. The leader of the wolf pack.”

“I am sorry. That must be hard to not see your brother so often. Oh, she does? How come she never visited? Or you visited her? I didn’t know they are a thing, so he is…your stepdad kind of?” He turned to look at Alec, who tilted his head with a shrug.

“We never had the time.” He actually sounded sorry; Magnus noticed. She had actually called once or twice but Alec had managed to change the topic away from Magnus swiftly. “Yeah, I suppose he is, once they are married. He also is Clary’s kind of step dad.” He gesticulated, not really knowing how to explain this.

“What? How-“ Magnus looked around himself as if he was trying to make sense of this.

“He was a Shadowhunter before he became a werewolf, he and Clary’s mom were good friends and kind of raised Clary together. My mom and him knew each other a long time ago and well…”

“So…if they are married, you are kind of Clary’s brother too? And Jace and Clary-?”

Alec grimaced. “Well, Jace is adopted and we are not really blood related so…I guess. Okay this is getting out of hand.” Magnus laughed at Alec’s frown and clear confusion and nodded in agreement; it was confusing.

Magnus enjoyed hearing about Alec’s life and his past, his family, they never had the time or chance to talk about these things, it was always other stuff that was more important at that moment. Despite this being exhausting and frustrating, it gave them a chance to spend time together and talk. Which was nice. But also, he wondered why Alec didn’t ask anything back, about his family, didn’t he care? Well, would Magnus want to talk about it? Hm.

The light around them suddenly changed into blue and green. The air became colder, snow and leaves fell from the sky seemingly out of the void, Magnus could hear something like bells in the distance and what sounded like birds, or was it someone singing? He couldn’t tell, it sounded mystic. He felt some tension against his boot on his next step and looked down to see the ground was mostly covered in snow.

They had entered the Seelie realm.

“It seems we are there. It can’t be far from here.” The next few hours passed by quickly, while they walked through the endless forest, keeping their good spirits with casual talks. Magnus tried not to think of the fact that being alone with Alec in the forest was slightly arousing too. But there was no time or place for this right now. They had to stay focused.

“I am sure I’ve seen this tree before.” Magnus said, touching the cold bark. “Or maybe they just all look the same.”

“They do.” Alec confirmed and shrugged some leaves off his jacket with a disgusted face. “Can’t you use your magic to find the others?”

“I’ve tried, it didn’t work. Sorry.” Magnus sighed. “Something about this realm is blocking me, it doesn’t work properly.” He tried again but his magic seemed unfocused, like it didn’t know what to do.

“It feels like we’ve been walking forever, I thought we were close.” Alec groaned.

“Yeah, maybe we should take a break. I am freezing.”

“We should find something to build a-“ he stopped and gestured a roof.

“A shelter?”

“Yes. That.” Magnus giggled.

“Why do we need a shelter to have a break?”

“Well, in case there are…animals around or something and the cold also.” Alec looked around himself.

“You are really out of your comfort zone, hm?” Alec rolled his eyes.

“I’m not. I’m just-“ He inhaled and then shot his head aside with a frightened expression the moment he heard something crack. Magnus followed his line of sight to a white fluffy bunny hopping by. Magnus lowered his head, licking his lips, trying not to comment right now. “Just shut up.” Alec groaned and walked away. Magnus let the laugh bubble out, a loud and warm sound echoing through the forest. “You are an idiot.” Magnus lifted his upper body that had bent from laughing and then stretched his arm forward suddenly.

“Alexander, wait!” Alec shrieked the moment he walked into a spiderweb and wiggled and squirmed on the spot, waving his arms in the air desperately while jumping in a circle. Magnus stumbled forward and fell to his knees, laughing like a maniac. “Fuck. God what- help!” Alec yelped and Magnus tried to get back up but only stumbled back, his whole body shaking. “Magnus help me!”

“Wait! I- I am…I’m coming.” Magnus gasped in between laughs and finally got up and closed the distance to pinch the webs off his squirming body. “Will you stop moving please!” Magnus wheezed while Alec trembled, shaking his whole body like a shiver ran down his spine. Magnus peeled it off completely before Alec ran off and then jumped a few times, shaking his limbs and head with a loud brrrr as if he was trying to shake insects off his body.

“Are you okay?” Magnus asked, biting his lower lip and wiping his watery eyes. He couldn’t quite hide the amusement in his voice.

“No! I am not! Do I look okay? I was just attacked by a spider!” Magnus walked closer and reached out but Alec flinched away.

“Ugh don’t! I’m not ready. I need a moment.”

“Okay.” Magnus placed his hand in front of his lips, hiding his wide grin. “I get it, you don’t like spiders?”

“Spiders. Insects. No, I don’t. I don’t like this forest. I don’t like this tree!” He ranted and pointed at a random tree beside him. “I don’t like any of this! Screw all of it!” He threw his arms up in the air and walked off.

“Alexander…” Magnus gasped softly, realising his boyfriend was close to panicking if he wasn’t already. “It’s okay. The spider is gone. It won’t harm you.” Alec stopped, pushed his hands into his sides and threw his head back, closing his eyes and breathing deeply. “Why did you agree to come with me, if you hate this so much?” Alec lowered his head again and then looked at Magnus a little ashamed.

“Well, I had no choice. I go where you go.” Magnus smiled widely at those words and then walked closer, reaching out carefully, Alec grabbed his hand and pulled him closer until they stood flush.

“And I go where you go.” Magnus whispered back and could feel Alec’s warm breath tingle his skin. Magnus blinked slowly, lovingly and then turned around, standing with his back to Alec before lifting both his arms in a wavy motion and then dropped them quickly, causing a swirl of blue magic to emanate from his palms and to the ground until a new but smaller tent appeared in the middle of it on the ground. “After you.” Magnus said, looking back proudly to see Alec’s face finally light up, the Shadowhunter was gone within a second and Magnus followed his boyfriend into the tent.

There was a single mattress now inside the tent, a thick wide blanket and two pillows in red silk in the middle of it; they had to kneel down to fit into the tent, but Magnus could see the grateful expression on Alec’s face, he looked calm and happy again. Magicking this actually took quite some energy; he knew he wouldn’t be able to use his magic for something big the next hours but it was totally worth it to calm his boyfriend’s nerves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this fluffy and light Malec chapter. The gang had some fun in the tent before they disappeared, what happened and where are they? Hm 🤔 Magnus told Alec a secret, but as we know Alec takes things well and helped him overcome his fear. We also got to enjoy them talk, actually talk, even though the thirst never really left. I can feel the tension rise 😏 Alec is afraid of insects and doesn't like nature? Who would have thought. But Magnus is a gentleman and doesn't make fun of him...at all 😂 Thanks for all the comments and kudos on the last one!
> 
> Thank you all for the 1000 kudos! I can't believe this fic reached 1000, I never thought that so many people would enjoy my story when I began to write it, I just wanted to share it with you guys, the feedback and love you send my way is amazing and I am speechless about that! Thank you so much!


	47. Chapter 47

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Alexander?” he leant up and shifted closer to his boyfriend while stroking along his arm to his shoulder, feeling him shiver. “What’s wrong?” He tried to see anything but it was pitch black, the magic glow had long faded away, but it left a comforting warmth in the tent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://ibb.co/Pj2HMfT)   


Both took off their jackets and chucked off their boots, it took Magnus a little longer peeling himself of his layers like the walking onion he was. “Are you hungry?” Magnus asked after he finished undressing, Alec sat cross legged in front of him, waiting patiently and then nodded.

“Starving.” Alec answered with a smile and Magnus flopped down in front of him, mirroring him.

“What do you want?”

“Hm. Cheeseburgers?”

“Cheeseburgers? Alexander, you can have anything you want and you want cheeseburgers?”

“So?” Magnus laughed, throwing his head back.

“All right, when my boyfriend wants cheeseburgers, he will get the best cheeseburgers.” Magnus snapped his fingers. Two plates with sloppy cheeseburgers appeared in front of them, two bottles of coke beside them. “Enjoy.” Alec beamed at him and leant forward to peck his lips, Magnus sucked his lips inside his mouth after the quick kiss, he didn’t expect it and he certainly wanted more, but it wasn’t the right time, as usual. He sighed.

Both grabbed their cheeseburgers and stuffed their mouths while the cheese and sauce dropped down their fingers. It was messy, but it was amazingly good. Alec hummed in appreciation and leant back with a wide smile.

“You have-“ Magnus began and then leant forward, brushing the back of his pointer finger along Alec’s chin and then sucked it into his mouth to lick it clean. Alec followed the gesture before gulping visibly. Magnus pulled his finger out with an obscene plop and then smacked his lips. Their gazes met for a second, before both returned to their burgers quickly, blushing heavily. They ate until their plates and bottles were empty. Magnus shuddered, earning him a concerned look from Alec.

“Are you cold?”

“Yeah, but-“ He trailed off and then lifted his hand, an orange ball of magic flicking off his fingertips, flying up to the ceiling of the tent and then hovered mid air, they could instantly feel the warmth radiate off the tiny fake sun.

“You are amazing.” Alec said, his eyes stuck on Magnus’ face. Magnus smiled widely at the compliment. It wasn’t like it came naturally to him, he tried fucking hard to be amazing for Alec, but it seems to be paying off. His magic was almost gone, he felt it tingle beneath his skin, like it wanted to signal him to slow it down for a bit, to rest.

“Not more than you.” He returned shyly and shuffled a little, looking down Alec’s body and back up. Alec’s eyes became hooded, Magnus knew that look, that look of a tiger eyeing its prey. Magnus felt both arousal and excitement in his belly as he watched Alec purse his lips for a tiny second, it was both cute and hot.

Alec shoved the plates aside with the back of his hand and then reached for Magnus cheek with his other, pulling him in for a kiss, Magnus closed his eyes the moment Alec’s lips met with his again, they tasted cheesy, salty, a hint of ketchup, his tongue explored Magnus’s mouth and Magnus welcomed him eagerly, licking his lips and nibbling on them. They kissed for a few minutes, only stopping to catch their breaths and then stopped altogether, leaning back and panting. Their shoulders moving up and down like they just ran a marathon.

“Do you think we will find our way? Find them?” Magnus asked to get his thoughts back on track and not jump Alec right then and there, in a tent, in the Seelie realm. They had to stay focused. Alec nodded.

“Of course, we will. I can feel Jace, he is here, he is okay. Which is the only thing keeping me calm right now. I am sure the others are with him. Once we are together again, we will find our way to the Seelie’s. If they don’t find us before then or, they are not captured by them.”

“Oh, that is comforting. Thanks. You know I am drained of my magic now, the tent, food, light…” Magnus looked around himself, realising it might have been stupid to use all his magic to make them comfortable.

“I still have my bow and daggers, nobody is gonna harm you.” Alec reached for Magnus’ hand and squeezed it. “We should rest.” Magnus nodded and both leant back on the mattress, snuggled up close to another, simply enjoying each other’s body and warmth.

“Magnus can I ask you something?” Alec asked after a long moment of silence, Magnus opened his eyes that had fallen shut, half asleep.

“Of course.” He murmured against Alec’s collarbones where his head rested. He felt Alec’s hands slide up and down his back gently, his own arm wrapped around Alec’s waist, his fingers playing with his spine.

“Why can’t you swim? Isn’t Indonesia like…an island?”

“What does that have to do with it?” Magnus chuckled.

“Well, I supposed everyone living on an island can swim.”

Magnus snorted. “You would be surprised of the amount of people in England that can’t swim.”

“Yeah, I guess it was a stupid assumption. Still, why can’t you?” He asked softly, almost like a whisper and Magnus gulped, wondering if he should tell him or not.

“I don’t like the water much. I stayed away from it most of my life. When I was young, my- my stepfather, he tried to drown me-“ Magnus whispered and Alec gasped and leant back to look at Magnus’ face, complete shock on his own.

“What? You…you never told me!” He stuttered.

“I am telling you now.” Magnus answered a little confused.

“Sorry. I…mean…god…I am so sorry. That is horrible, I don’t know what to say. Why would he do that?”

“That is a good question Alexander. Because I am a Warlock I suppose. He was afraid of me when he found out what I was…well. He blamed me…he blamed me for my mother’s death.” Magnus pressed out and Alec tensed. He knew that, Magnus had told him before, how was he supposed to react now? He couldn’t just say nothing.

“It’s not your fault Magnus, your mother’s death. Or being a Warlock, nothing of it. He was wrong and he got what he deserved.” Magnus lifted his eyes to Alec.

“What do you mean?” Alec suddenly opened and closed his mouth a few times.

“I mean- I mean he, you, I bet he was punished for what he did…was he not?”

“I burnt him.” Alec licked his lips, oh okay, that was a quick confession.

“See…and he deserved it.” Magnus felt his eye twitch, Alec was amazingly understanding and sounded like it was the most normal thing in the world, he killed his own stepfather and Alec didn’t seem shocked. Was it no shock because he assumed Warlocks behaved like that?

“I don’t know. I lashed out, I snapped…I shouldn’t have.”

“You were young Magnus; nobody blames you for that, you were only defending yourself.”

“I guess so.” Magnus murmured and lowered his eyes again. Alec didn’t want to make this worse or make any slip up, so he only reacted to what Magnus said from now on. “I ran away after and spent some time on the streets.”

“That must have been awful, I can’t even imagine how hard that must have been. Magnus you are extremely strong, you are admirable.” Magnus quirked his lip up and huffed out some air, his cheeks blushing.

“It’s a long time ago.” He finally said, wondering if he should continue. Alec waited patiently. “I was taken in by the Silent brothers, they took me to Spain, where I grew up.” He continued. “It was nice actually…it didn’t feel like home but it was better than living on the streets. Even though, I didn’t quite feel like I belong, you know what I mean?” He paused and Alec nodded, while stroking Magnus’ back encouragingly. “That is also where I met Catarina. They wanted to burn her, thinking she was a witch.” Alec gaped for a moment and then pressed his lips back together; he never knew that.

“I saved her life and we became friends; she was my first real friend.” Magnus whispered, thinking back. “It was good to know someone who is just like you. I always felt out of place, like…a monster. I didn’t know any Warlocks.” Alec shook his head though said nothing to not disturb Magnus in his speech. Magnus left the part of the time with his father, too ashamed, that was a story for another time.

“We went to England eventually, where I met Ragnor, I- I had a house in London. Those were the best times of my life, I finally felt like…I belong, like I am okay, Ragnor showed me everything I had to know about being a Warlock, he taught me to be proud of who and what I am.” He trailed off. “I miss him.”

“I am sorry…” Alec gasped.

“I tried to earn money by making and selling potions, I was quite good actually, people trusted me, trusted I know my shit…” he laughed. “I pretended to be a little older and wiser I must confess…” Alec chimed in.

“You tricked them?”

“No…I didn’t…I just…behaved older.” He averted his eyes with a smirk.

“That is where you met Charlotte.” Alec stated.

“Yes, exactly. After living with her for all her life, Ragnor and I went to Peru, we were seeking adventures, something new, something different, he tried to get my mind away from my loss, to cheer me up, well…I guess I found my adventure, because shortly after I…appeared here, in this dimension…with you.”

Alec met his gaze and they stared at each other for what felt like ages. Magnus then cupped Alec’s cheek and pulled him down, pressing his lips against Alec’s, Alec returned the kiss and they breathed each other’s air while they tasted the other one, softly, lovingly.

“Thank you for telling me.” Alec whispered once they parted.

“You are welcome…it’s only a small part of my past but, I will tell you the rest some other time, we should get some rest now.” Alec nodded and they snuggled against the other one again. It was good to tell Alec his story, it felt normal and easy. It never felt easy before to talk about his past. He would tell Alec about his father sooner or later, but this wasn’t the right moment. They had to concentrate on their task now, rest and then find the others, find Catarina.

Magnus was pulled out of his sleep by a loud gasp and stared into the darkness, trying to realise where exactly he was before the tent flashed white, a massive thunder breaking the silence right after, that sounded like a row of explosions, it took Magnus a second to understand what was happening. He was in the forest still; they had decided to have a break and fell asleep, it seemed like exhaustion had taken its toll, they slept until it was dark outside.

He melted back into the pillow as he realised it was only a storm, he turned on his left side with a groan, trying to get back to sleep and reached out for Alec. He felt Alec’s arm below his palm and the way he trembled.

“Alexander?” he leant up and shifted closer to his boyfriend while stroking along his arm to his shoulder, feeling him shiver. “What’s wrong?” He tried to see anything but it was pitch black, the magic glow had long faded away, but it left a comforting warmth in the tent.

“’Am fine.” He mumbled and Magnus felt him flinch hard the moment another blizzard split the sky in half. Magnus understood immediately. He didn’t like the thunder. It seems he really wasn’t joking about not liking nature.

“I didn’t picture you being afraid of thunder, such a big and strong Shadowhunter like you.” Magnus teased while stroking his shoulder, trying to calm him a little, his fingertip dancing over the slope of Alec’s shoulder muscle.

“I’m not afraid. I just don’t like it.” His whole body twitched when another thunder rolled from the sky, deep and loud and Magnus shifted even closer and wrapped his arms around him.

“It’s okay. I will protect you.” Magnus whispered and kissed his ear gently. He couldn’t help but feel soft about the fact Alec was afraid of thunder, the man fought demons on a daily basis. It was cute, but he wasn’t going to say this, he had realised Alec didn’t feel comfortable in nature, neither with the animals roaming it nor the other things happening, like thunder. He wasn’t used to it while Magnus was. He felt more foreign in the city than in nature. For once he could be the strong guy and soothe him and he kind of enjoyed the feeling. Magnus actually liked thunder a lot, but he wasn’t going to say that either.

“I don’t know…there’s just something about it.” Alec tried to explain and Magnus understood. He understood why it could be frightening. The whole tent lit up again and Magnus quickly pressed his palm against Alec’s ear to dull the noises that were about to come but Alec still shivered when it happened. He returned to stroking his back gently and kissed his shoulder, Alec had his arms crossed in front of his chest in a defensive way, pressed against his body. He needed distraction.

“I would sing you something but I don’t want to make things worse.” Magnus whispered and Alec giggled for the first time. “I think my voice is more repulsive than the thunder.” Alec let out a little puff of air.

“I doubt that. You have a lovely voice.” Alec said hoarsely and wormed his way closer to Magnus until their bodies were flush. Magnus felt the comfortable warmth of Alec’s stomach and chest against his own and curled his legs around the Shadowhunter’s, intertwining them, seeking as much body warmth as possible. Alec might be the one scared and needing Magnus protection but Magnus needed him just as much. The comfort of his boyfriends’ warm body was soothing not only his tension but his emotions.

“I think we have to agree to disagree then.” Both chuckled softly before another loud explosion of thunder broke the silence and Alec pressed his face into the side of Magnus’ neck, groaning quietly. He was tensing up again, Magnus could feel the slight tremble below his skin, Alec must really hate this. Magnus stroked his hand down to the small of his back and massaged the spot a bit before he let his fingers slide under his pullover and to the front, over his hip bone and further to the front.

He crawled the V of his abdomen a little lazily, playing with his happy trail and felt Alec’s breath pick up. He slowly slid his fingers down his pants to his crotch in a moment of boldness and massaged his soft dick through the fabrics with his palm. Alec gasped against Magnus skin on his throat, which was encouragement enough for Magnus to continue, he put a little more pressure into it but was still gentle. He felt his cock throb and harden beneath his palm.

“That’s it- relax.” Magnus breathed and felt Alec’s body do just that, he melted into the touch as the tension subsided slowly. He felt Alec circle his hips a little. He flattened his hand and rubbed it along his shaft with pressure until Alec moaned softly. He fingered his way to the tip and circled it while he felt his own dick hardening in his pants.

“Can I touch you?” Magnus whispered, his voice hoarse, of course he technically was already but he was still above his pants, which was a difference. Alec nodded and dug his fingers into Magnus’ back. Magnus quickly opened Alec’s belt and button and shoved the jeans down his hips along with his boxers, Alec helped him and wiggled himself out of his pants, Magnus did the same on himself a little too eager, he sat up and pulled off his shirt too until he was completely naked, he grabbed Alec’s pullover and helped him get rid of it until he lay back down in front of his now naked boyfriend.

He immediately reached for his dick and then rubbed it gently, tugging on his soft skin, feeling the way it rolled over his hard shaft.

“Mmmmmm…” Alec began to thrust his hips back and forth, trying to increase the speed but then groaned loud as the air exploded again, tensing his body back up.

“Shhhh…I’m here. I’ve got you.” He jerked him off a little faster, hoping to distract him that way but Alec kept tense. “Alexander.” Magnus soothed.

“Sorry.” Alec mumbled. “I can’t.” Magnus stopped his ministrations for a moment and slid his arm below Alec’s head and crawled his scalp from behind, playing with his soft hair.

“Just focus on my hand, focus on me.” He spoke against his ear before giving it another kiss, he let go off his cock and searched his way down between his legs. Alec lifted his head until they were face to face, even though they couldn’t see the other, Magnus felt his warm breath dance around his face. Magnus knew he was looking at him and then felt Alec lift his thigh to give Magnus space and permission.

Alec leant forward and Magnus felt his warm lips press against his own and he returned the kiss gently, pushing his lips against his, sucking on his upper lip, feeling the way Alec sucked on his lower one at the same time, he tilted his head and deepened the kiss, pushing his tongue forward and seeking entry, Alec opened his lips some more until their tongues met and the kiss became sloppy and passionately.

Magnus quickly lifted his fingers to his own mouth and sucked on it sloppily in between their kisses, having them slick, before returning to their kiss and then brushed his finger along Alec’s perineum to his rim, circling the puckered skin and enjoying the way it twitched.

Magnus waited until the tent lit up again and then pushed the finger inside him in one swift movement as the thunder began and Alec stopped the kiss, gasping loudly, but not flinching, which was a win. Magnus darted forward to reach his lips again and both melted against each other. Their breaths warm and jerky on the other one’s cheeks.

He tried to add a second, but it was tighter than before, the lube was obviously missing, he worked him open slow and gentle to not hurt him, pushed his second finger in inch by inch, rocking softly while stretching them apart. He went deeper with each movement until his fingers were swallowed by his hot channel. He crooked them and searched his way to the little squishy ball that made Alec feel things just like Alec had done the other day. He heard a deep humming noise, rolling off Alec’s tongue and into Magnus mouth as he had reached it. He rubbed it with his fingertips softly, feeling the ridged surface. Knowing what it made Alec feel increased the pleasure in doing this immensely.

Their lips met again and he licked his tongue, he tasted so extremely divine. Alec began to rock his body down on his fingers, which was fucking hot. Magnus was already leaking by now, his cock throbbing and aching for friction, for attention. Alec’s calloused hand went over his side and to his front, he shoved it down his body without a warning and grabbed his erect dick, jerking him roughly and Magnus let out an embarrassingly high moan, not having expected that. A few minutes passed while they rubbed and fucked the other one, panting against each other’s lips like no tomorrow. It had obviously been too long.

They didn’t hear the thunder outside anymore, the wind that was blowing against the tent. They completely forgot where they were. Yes, this was about Alec and all he wanted was to distract him but fuck, he was so gone. He lost himself in the pleasure that was Alec Lightwood. His body, his fingers, his lips, his ass, his moans.

Alec flinched as another thunder, even louder than before pierced the air and it wouldn’t stop for a few seconds, causing the Shadowhunter to halt, he squeezed Magnus’ dick almost painfully hard and Magnus tried to pull his hips back to get out of his grip. “Alexander.” He hissed and Alec let go and then groaned loud, at himself Magnus guessed.

“I’m sorry!”

This was actually working, but not well enough it seems. He needed more and it wasn’t like Magnus didn’t want more. His whole body was screaming for MORE. Alec placed his hand on his own forehead and eyes, clearly frustrated while Magnus eased his fingers out of him carefully.

“Darling, look at me.” Magnus whispered and pulled on Alec’s hands gently, Alec lowered them willingly and Magnus felt his eyes bore right into his soul.

“Did you just call me darling?” Alec whispered back and Magnus couldn’t tell if it was amusement or appreciation in his voice.

“Sorry, I-“

“No, I like it…” Magnus looked back at him, only seeing the outlines of his face. “I am sorry I am like this right now; I must admit it’s not my proudest moment.”

“It’s perfectly fine, we all have things we are afraid of. But I will protect you Alexander, the thunder has to fight me before it comes near you. So do the spiders.” Alec giggled, which made Magnus’ stomach flutter. Alec’s breath hitched the moment it growled outside. Magnus gulped heavily, knowing exactly what he wanted to do, to help Alec but also…help himself.

He was so aroused that his dick almost hurt from the pressure of the blood in it. Alec was so close and so hot, so fucking hot and he wanted him, needed him and Alec needed him too. They looked at each other, their breaths still shaky and Magnus could almost taste the sexual tension on his tongue. 

“I want you Alexander.” Magnus whispered, holding his breath the moment the words left his brave lips. It was what he wanted, what he wanted to say but actually saying it was something different. Yes, Alec said he could do what he wanted with him, whenever he wanted but Alec was in a difficult situation at the moment and also, they were in the fucking Seelie realm and he didn’t want to come across rude.

Alec took a few seconds to breath only and then turned around in Magnus’ arms, showing him his back, Magnus was a little startled at the motion and lack of words but then felt Alec’s back press back against his chest and Magnus wrapped his arms around his boyfriend, holding him tight. All right, they could also just cuddle. This was fine. Fucking fine. Yes. Cuddle. Magnus pressed his jaws together painfully hard, trying to distract his thoughts.

“You can take me.” Alec’s voice was deep and sultry and it made Magnus dick throb hard. Okay, did he hear this right? He agreed? But then why did he- Alec pushed his ass back against Magnus’ crotch.

Oh! Fuck…

Magnus felt his erect cock brush against Alec’s warm and soft ass cheeks and he needed a moment to concentrate, to actually use his brain. He wanted him to fuck him from behind. Urgh…Magnus shivered at the realisation.

He then lay his hand on Alec’s waist and slithered it down his soft skin over his hip and to his thigh and then reached between Alec’s thighs from behind with his palm up and grabbed the inside of his thigh, lifting it gently and Alec crooked his leg a bit. He flinched at the loud noise coming from outside and Magnus pressed him against his chest with his left arm that was below and around Alec, whispering soothing nothings into his ear.

“I am here.” He gasped and kissed the nape of his neck, feeling the way goosebumps rose on his skin. Fuck. He forgot. “We have no condom.” Magnus whispered regretfully and Alec leant his head back, craning his neck a little.

“You don’t need it. You know I don’t mind.” He said hoarsely and Magnus shivered at the thought. Alec said they were good for easier penetration and he really didn’t want to hurt Alec, but…the thought of being inside Alec without a layer between them was just fucking hot and beside that they really had no chance to get one in the middle of the forest, it was not like there was a shop or Seelies selling them and his magic was still drained for another 2 hours at least.

“Won’t it hurt without condom and lube? I really don’t-“ He whispered and Alec interrupted him not unkindly.

“Use your spit and go slow, I trust you.” Magnus felt a wave of arousal and pride wash over him, a really weird mix and then lifted his palm to his mouth and gathered a big amount of saliva and then spit in it before coating his dick in it, he then slithered down Alec’s body a little, pushed his hips forward and his cock between Alec’s ass cheeks, sliding down his crack, over his perineum to his balls and back up. “Ugh…” He gasped at the feeling. Fuck. His skin was so hot. He loved the feeling of the little soft hairs that covered every spot of his skin.

He lined his cock up with Alec’s rim and pressed him close to his body with the other arm. “Are you ready?” he felt Alec nod and then inhaled deeply, pressing the tip of his cock inside Alec’s body, feeling the way his rim widened around his tip and then sucked him in, he felt Alec clench his hole, his body tensing up while the tent brightened again, Alec pressed his head into the pillow, trying to dull the noises and Magnus instantly began to rock his hips in gentle jerks, going deeper with each move to distract his boyfriend.

“Argh.” Alec gasped and Magnus immediately halted, he circled his cheeks, his tongue roaming his mouth and then spit into his hand again, he spread it on his cock below his head and pushed in again. Alec moaned and relaxed in his arms, the thunder rolled over the sky but Alec didn’t flinch, he was lost in the moment, in the pleasure Magnus gave him and Magnus couldn’t feel prouder at the way his plan worked out, he pulled back and pushed himself deeper inside his velvety walls that squeezed him tight. Almost too tight.

He bottomed out, pressing his groin into Alec’s ass cheeks and groaned against his shoulder. He felt so good, so extremely good, it was unbelievable. It was so much more intimate without the condom; he was actually inside his body. “You okay?” He asked hoarsely and Alec nodded.

Magnus wrapped his right arm around him too, holding him tight and began to thrust into him. He trembled at the way Alec began to moan with each thrust, shameless and loud. “Yes…Magnus…oh shit.” He gasped and began to move his body in a wave, Magnus held him around the chest while his right hand lowered over his abs and abdomen, his thigh and below his crooked leg, holding it up some more with his lower arm to make Alec relax more and also spread him open some more, while he reached for his dick from below his leg to jerk him along with his thrusts.

He was going gentle, slow not like their first time, he wanted to actually feel him, feel every move of his body, feel the way he squirmed, he wanted to make him feel good. Alec didn’t seem to notice the loud rain against the tent or the way the sky broke loose, he rutted himself back on Magnus, seeking more, more of Magnus and Magnus was happily giving it to him. The thought of fucking Alec was still so overwhelming and new that it made him speechless, he actually had a boyfriend, a boyfriend he had sex with right now, a boyfriend he loved. Alec was everything and more, he was perfect. But maybe he was a little biased with his dick inside him.

His walls felt tighter than before and the friction, even if slow was so intense that he felt the base of his cock begin to tingle, his thighs trembling and he knew he had no chance of stopping the inevitable, if he went quick or slow, it would lead him to the same fate. He was going to cum. He halted and fought it down with all his strength thought still tugging on Alec lazily.

“Magnus” Alec gasped desperately and Magnus shivered at the needy tone in his voice and instantly began to thrust back into him again, pulling in and out, sheathing himself in Alec’s tight channel, slow but strong. “Please, don’t…oh god…I’m so close…fuck…me.” Magnus angled his hips to reach Alec’s prostate and poked into him trying to find the spot until Alec cried out, bingo. He kept the angle and rutted into him furiously, his hips slapping against Alec’s ass cheeks loudly, sweaty. He tugged on Alec with all the strength he could muster and felt him tense around his dick.

“Oh shit…Magnus.” He choked out. “I’m cumming.” He grabbed the sheets in front of him and almost ripped them apart while Magnus dug his fingers into Alec’s stomach, his arm wrapped around him tightly while the other jerked him off. He thrusted into him one last time as deep as he could and Alec groaned louder than he had ever heard before, his thigh began to tremble and his muscles spasmed while he released himself on the mattress, thick ropes of cum shooting out of his slit while it throbbed in Magnus’ hand, he lazily stroked him through it and enjoyed the way Alec trembled in his arms, that he was the cause of this.

The shiver of Alec’s body and the rhythmical clenching of his hole was overwhelming, the way he pressed himself back onto Magnus, his soft cheeks pressing against his hips, wanting him as deep as possible, his moans, it was all too much. His cock felt like exploding, his orgasm built up so quick he felt lightheaded for a moment. He immediately let go of Alec’s dick to reach for the base of his own to pull himself out before he would cum. Alec reached back and grabbed his wrist, pulling it up to his chest, holding both his arms tightly against himself.

“Fuck, Alexander. I need my-“ He pleaded and tried to wrestle his arms free. “I’m gonna cum…Alexander!” He pulled his hips back but Alec followed suit and pushed himself back and onto Magnus’ dick roughly, causing it to explode inside him, Magnus clutched his fingers into Alec’s skin, his nails digging into it, while he tensed up until his body was rock hard and then let out a guttural groan against Alec’s neck as he came. He thrusted himself deep into Alec’s body instinctively while his cum spurt into Alec’s tight channel in waves, filling him up until he was completely drained and then melted into the mattress.

Fuck, he just came inside Alec.

He licked his dry lips and panted loudly when Alec let go of his arms, Magnus reached down and pulled himself out carefully, feeling his own cum following him on his way out, the cold air hit his sensitive skin, he then fell back on his back, all sweaty. Alec panted for a few moments and then turned around to face Magnus, both needed a moment to breathe, the tent smelt of sweat, cum and sex.

“Sorry if I hurt you.” Alec mumbled sleepily and Magnus huffed out some air.

“You didn’t, I was just a little surprised.” Alec chuckled and wrapped his arms around Magnus, who turned on his side too. “I should be the one asking if you are okay.”

“Thank you for the distraction.” Alec mumbled in return. The thunder had stopped by now, only raindrops pounding loudly against the tent’s roof, which was quite calming.

“Thank you, Alexander. For letting me do this…also for allowing me to cum inside you.” Magnus whispered and stroked his boyfriend’s cheek lovingly. He was glad it was still so dark and that Alec wasn’t seeing his blush. He has never done such a thing before, so it was extremely special to him, it was intimate and fucking hot. He felt even closer to him than before.

“You are my boyfriend Magnus; you don’t have to thank me for sex.” Alec whispered. “And I quite like the idea to walk around with something of you.” Magnus laughed softly.

“You are so naughty.” He said with a chuckle. “I still want to thank you; I don’t take it for granted. It takes a lot of bravery to do it, I know this now and I am amazed at how well you do it, how you give up control so willingly, how you give your body to me without a second thought.”

“As I said…I trust you.” Alec whispered. “And I want to feel you as close as possible.” Alec yawned and then closed his eyes. Magnus smiled softly and then began to crawl his thick curls. His breath became slower, he was drifting off. Magnus inhaled and watched his sleepy boyfriend for a few moments before he cleared his throat quietly and began to sing.

“Ku tuliskan kenangan tentang caraku menekuman dirimu. Tentang apa yang membuatku mudah berikan hatiku padamu. Takkan habis sejuta lagu untuk menceritakan cantikmu. `kan teramat panjang puisi `tuk menyuratkan cinta ini.” Alec breathed calm and steadily. “Telah habis sudah cinta ini. Tak lagi tersisa untuk dunia. Karena telah ku habiskan. Sisa cintaku hanya untukmu.“ Magnus trailed off.

“That was beautiful.” Alec whispered and Magnus flinched internally, he thought Alec was asleep. He kept stroking his curls until he heard soft snores.

“Aku cinta kamu.” He whispered and kissed his sweaty forehead gently before closing his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Naaaaaaaaw, fluffy fluff fluff. AND SHAMELESS SMUT. Can you believe it's only the second time they had sex? Which makes it even more special I think, it was time 😏 And was that Magnus singing to him in his native language? I can't- I will put the translation and a link for you here so you can enjoy him singing just like Alec did 😁 Did he really say those three words? Finally? Did Alec still catch them before drifting off? And did you enjoy Magnus' story time? I hope you enjoyed this chapter, this was the calm before the storm, you might need to get mentally prepared for the next few chapters, angst is coming 😶 Thanks for the comments, I really love every one of them and answer them all! I love your feedback! The next update should come somewhere between tuesday and thursday. Ps. This was the longest chapter so far!
> 
> Translation:  
I wrote down memories about the way I found you, about what makes it so easy for me to give my heart to you.
> 
> A million songs wouldn't be enough to tell about your beauty. A poem would be too long to tell about my love for you.
> 
> I have spent my love and have nothing left for the rest of the world, because I gave all my love only for you.
> 
> Link:  
https://youtu.be/FocFked1TbQ
> 
> Listen to it! It's beautiful.


	48. Chapter 48

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Are you having fun up there, boys?” Both parted and shot their heads aside to see a little girl stand in front of the wall, she had long red and wavy hair, piercing blue eyes and a glittery dress. Her arms in front of her body, her hands together in a graceful way. Alec froze instantly and held a hand up in front of Magnus body. Magnus gasped, looking from Alec to the Seelie and back again. Fuck, they didn’t pay attention, now one of them caught them, at least it was just a little girl. Maybe they could make her go away…could make her forget with his magic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://ibb.co/PWKr5p0)  


When Alec awoke the first thing he felt was a sharp pain in his backside, deep inside, it made him hiss as he turned onto his right side; he would chuckle at knowing what caused it if it wasn’t so painful, maybe they shouldn’t have done it without lube, it’s not like he was in a state to actual think last night, the thunder made him turn into a whiny mess. He grimaced at the memory, slightly embarrassed. He groaned as he leant up to sit, a hand running down his face and then looked back over his shoulder to make sure his boyfriend was still there; he was softly snoring away on his stomach. The covers pooled around his ass, showing his perfect caramel coloured back with all its curves and slopes.

Alec’s eyebrows rose to his hairline as he pursed his lips in thoughts, he pinched Magnus’ sheets and pulled them down, laying his ass bare. His lips parted, he wasn’t salivating at the sight, not at all. He leant over and lowered his head to give him a little peck on the perfectly round ass cheek before he lifted himself quickly and covered his boyfriend again, up to the shoulders, Magnus murmured something and shifted, before he fell back asleep. One day.

He still had parts of Magnus’ song in his head, he wouldn’t be able to sing it or tell what he sang about at all but from the way he had sang it, it sounded like a love song. He had a stunning voice. Why did the old Magnus never sing before, when he had a voice like that? It was amazing. He suddenly felt gratefulness surge through his veins, that he gets to witness this side of Magnus, gets to know everything he never knew about him. For example, the fact he couldn’t swim. It felt like he learnt new things about him every day and it shouldn’t make him feel so satisfied.

He felt a tingle on his side and placed his palm on his Parabatai rune. It felt warm, Jace was trying to reach out for him, he looked down at it and saw it start to glow. In a swift motion Alec got up from the mattress and pulled his clothes on before he went outside into the cold, it felt even colder than before, the ground was covered in a thin film of snow. The air was filled with leaves swaying from side to side, he felt the rune sting again and flinched forward at the pain, he pressed his hand back down on it instinctively. A slight panic building in his chest. What if something was wrong?

Magnus felt his body shake and opened his eyes, a warm hand on his shoulder. He lifted his head to see Alec look down at him, completely dressed. His eyes alert. “Alexander…what’s- what’s happening?” He murmured hoarsely; his tongue tasted like an animal had died on it.

“Sorry that I have to wake you, it’s Jace, he is trying to reach out to me, we have to leave now.” Alec put Magnus’ clothes in front of him and went outside the tent, Magnus shifted himself to sit and rubbed his eyes with the heels of his palms, before dressing himself in slow motion, half asleep. “Hurry up Magnus!” Magnus looked up at the tent opening affronted even though Alec couldn’t see him, he inhaled deeply before rolling his eyes and then did as he was asked, very kindly, and hurried up. That’s exactly how he imagined his morning after such a great night.

Magnus left the tent and then snapped his fingers to have it disappear, Alec stood in front of him, completely armed and determined while Magnus stood there like a lump, his hair a mess, his eyes partly glued together on the edges.

“Let’s go.” Alec commanded.

“Maybe we should have breakfa-“ Magnus began, his hands dancing in the air and Alec walked off, Magnus closed his mouth mid-sentence and froze, pressing his lips into a thin line. Okay, don’t take this personal Magnus. He turned around swiftly and followed his rude boyfriend through the woods. Alec clutched his bow string to his chest tightly while his eyes were fixed ahead, he seemed focused and not exactly himself.

Magnus almost jogged to keep up with him and felt his stomach growl. He was hungry. He was thirsty. He was sleepy. “Can we slow down for a moment?” Magnus asked completely out of breath as he tried to keep up with him, but the Shadowhunter took fucking long strides with his giraffe legs.

“There’s no time, Jace needs me, I can feel him.” Alec barked without even looking Magnus’ way once. Okay, he was trying to be patient with him but enough was enough.

“And I need food. Right now.” Magnus insisted and stopped walking, he watched Alec walk off until the Shadowhunter eventually turned around to Magnus after noticing he was gone, his face was startled and slightly annoyed.

“We have to-“ he rushed.

“No.” Magnus interrupted him in a sulky tone while crossing his arms in front of his chest.

“Magnus, we-“

“No.” Magnus repeated and fought down the urge to stomp his foot into the ground like a stubborn child. 

Alec threw his head back with a sigh and then crossed the distance to his boyfriend. “Magnus…”

“I am hungry Alexander; I can’t run through the forest on an empty stomach.” Magnus voice was softer now, he lowered his arms and something inside Alec snapped back into place. He shook his head for a moment, as if waking from a daydream and then really focused on Magnus for the first time since they woke up, the furrowed brow gone.

“I’m sorry Magnus” He said gently. “I was…I couldn’t think straight.” He stuttered. “I felt that Jace needed me and it’s…an intense feeling, but I shouldn’t let it cloud my brain, I’m sorry for acting like that. I didn’t mean to treat you badly.” He let go off his bow and reached out to cup Magnus’ cheek, he leant in and then kissed him, a long and gentle press of the lips, Magnus returned it though a little reluctantly and pouted once Alec parted from him.

“I don’t know much about this Parabatai rune thing but I know it can get intense. He is a part of you, I get it. But I am also a part of you and I am starving!” Alec laughed a deep belly laugh and shook his head with a fond expression. There he was. His beautiful and loving boyfriend. Magnus snapped his fingers in front of his face with a smirk and sandwiches appeared in both Alec’s and Magnus’ hands. “Enjoy your breakfast.”

Both munched on their ham & cheese sandwiches while strolling further through the forest, though much slower this time, while humming in appreciation. “Those are good, where did you get them?”

“There’s a cute little French café near the Institute, they make wonderful and tasty little things, I had crepes with Clary there a few days ago.”

“You had crepes with Clary?” Alec asked, shock on his face.

“Is there a problem?”

“No.” He said in a high tone. “Not at all.” He brushed his fingers along his thighs to clean them and Magnus crumbled the paper into a ball and stuffed it into his pocket, pinching Alec’s off the ground to do the same with it before shooting his boyfriend a scolding look.

“What is your favourite pastry?”

“Uhm…I don’t know, I like waffles.” Magnus nodded but then saw Alec’s unfocused gaze, the way he looked around himself, his breath jerky. “We will find him Alexander.” Magnus soothed and stroked his upper arm. Alec nodded and grabbed his bow again. “Just like the others and Catarina, we have to trust in that.”

“He is near, I can feel it.” Magnus nodded firmly and then stalked through the thick forest ground again. It got colder by the second, snow was falling and covering their jackets and hair. They walked for what felt like 1 or 2 hours before their heads shot up, a huge castle right in front of them, maybe 20 minutes away.

“We are here.” Magnus whispered.

“Come on, lend me a hand.” Magnus said 15 minutes later as he put his palms against the big stone fence surrounding the place and waited for Alec to help him up, Alec knelt down and Magnus stepped on his shoulders, Alec grabbed his ankles and straightened himself while Magnus flew up the wall, he grabbed the edge of it and lifted his eyes to look over the wall. His eyes shifted from one side to the other, it looked safe. He pulled himself up, heaved his stomach onto it and swung one leg over the other side.

“And?” Alec asked as loud and quiet as possible.

“I can’t see anyone.” He turned to look down to Alec and yelped the moment he was face to face with him, he sat down in front of Magnus in a graceful movement and Magnus gaped at him. “How-“

“Shadowhunter.” Alec said with a smirk and then looked across the place, he was right, the place was clear. Magnus gritted his teeth deep in thoughts as he watched his boyfriend, partly jealous and partly proud. Damn Shadowhunters. Damn height.

“Do you think they are here?” Magnus asked as he eyed the place after.

“I don’t know, I think so, I can feel Jace is near.” Magnus nodded at his words, before he heard Alec hiss loudly and Magnus shot his head aside with a concerned expression.

“What is it? Did you hurt yourself?” He eyed his boyfriend intensely and watched him blush.

“No…it’s nothing.” Alec whispered, averting his eyes and shifting on the spot.

“Alexander.” Magnus scolded and Alec looked at him with a sigh.

“My…my ass hurts a little.” He admitted and Magnus furrowed his brow.

“Your- what, why?” He rambled and then stared at Alec’s mid section as if it would explain anything. Alec blinked his eyes a few times, his lips apart. Wondering if his boyfriend really was that oblivious or if he was just sidetracked.

“You know…” Alec said, his breath a bit quicker than a second before. Magnus narrowed his eyes, his tongue playing with his cheek before his eyes widened and he stared back down Alec’s body.

“Oh!” He looked back up, seeing the pink blush around Alec’s nose. “Because of me? Did I hurt you yesterday?”

“No, I mean, it didn’t hurt when we did it, I just felt it this morning. It’s okay really. It’s a good kind of pain.” Magnus grimaced, both regret and shame in his eyes.

“What is a good kind of pain?”

“A pain caused by my boyfriend’s dick for example.” Magnus tilted his head with an amused smile and Alec grinned sheepishly, loving the way he always caught Magnus off guard with these things.

“I would kiss it better but-“ He winked and rose his eyebrows. “Come here.” Magnus murmured and then grabbed Alec by the side of his neck and pulled him in, they tilted their heads as their lips met, Magnus opened them and licked his upper lip, sucking on it for a second before he pulled back, Alec followed him immediately and nibbled on his lower one, their tongues met and Magnus felt his heartbeat speed up, the all too familiar flutter in his stomach. It didn’t matter how many times he had kissed his boyfriend so far it always felt like the first time, always wonderful, always thrilling, he would never grow tired of those lips.

“Are you having fun up there, boys?” Both parted and shot their heads aside to see a little girl stand in front of the wall, she had long red and wavy hair, piercing blue eyes and a glittery dress. Her arms in front of her body, her hands together in a graceful way. Alec froze instantly and held a hand up in front of Magnus body. Magnus gasped, looking from Alec to the Seelie and back again. Fuck, they didn’t pay attention, now one of them caught them, at least it was just a little girl. Maybe they could make her go away…could make her forget with his magic.

Magnus swung his other leg over the wall and was about to jump down to her when Alec grabbed his jacket roughly. “Don’t! What are you doing!”

“What’s wrong? She is just a girl Alexander.” Magnus whispered and motioned his head down to her. The girl giggled. “Maybe we-“

“That is the Seelie Queen Magnus.” Alec never left her with his eyes while Magnus only squinted his.

“What? I know how the Seelie Queen looks like, she-“

“Hello Magnus, welcome back to my realm.” She said kindly in a sweet and high voice and Magnus lowered his head to her in slow motion, he felt his throat run dry. He was right. Suddenly a group of Seelies appeared out of nowhere, though unarmed. They kept at distance. “Will you come down?” She asked kindly. Alec looked back to the other side to see if they could get away and saw another group of Seelies, though armed this time and then looked back at Magnus with desperation. They had no choice.

Fuck! Why did he let Magnus come here? He brought him right to her. He was so stupid.

Alec jumped down the wall and stood near it, waiting for Magnus to do the same and then stood in front of him protectively, if she wanted to get to him, she had to get rid of him first. “You knew we were coming.” Alec stated and the Queen smiled, her eyes warm.

“I did. Nothing happens without me knowing it Shadowhunter. The birds and bees are all in my service. So are the spiders.” She lifted her eyes and Magnus looked from Alec to her and she giggled. Alec would blush if he wouldn’t be so tense right now.

“We were told you made a trade for a friend of us, Catarina, we are here to get her back.” Magnus said as he stepped out of Alec’s shadow, Alec instantly grabbed his arm to keep him close.

“I see.” She said and her eyes shifted aside to Magnus.

“Where are our friends?” Magnus asked and then heard Alec gasp beside him as a few Seelies walked through them, touching, brushing, taking Alec’s bow and daggers along with them. Alec stretched his arm and tried to reach for it but the Seelie was already gone. Fuck, he needed to pay closer attention, he was completely unfocused right now, he only had eyes for Magnus and his safety and now they were unarmed.

“Your friends are home. I had no use for them.” She eyed Alec who was about to open his mouth. “Except your Parabatai. Don’t worry, he is safe and sound.” She chuckled and Alec clenched his jaw. They were home? And unharmed? Hopefully. But why? Why did she send them home, why did she keep Jace?

“What do you want from him?” Alec pressed out through gritted teeth.

“Follow me.” She said and turned around, Magnus and Alec followed slowly, a group of Seelies following them. They walked slowly along a path and further into the castle, Magnus tried to remember the way, to get back outside once they had Catarina and Jace while Alec eyed the surroundings, probably for threats. A few Seelies watched them from afar, curiously. It took them a few minutes to get to what appeared like a throne room, vines hang from the ceiling, covering thick pillars of stone, a soft melody was heard. There was a stone chair in the far end corner, a few Seelie women gathering around it, resting, unstartled.

She sat down on it and put her arms in her lap, Magnus and Alec stood in front of her, a few feet away, a little awkward. They had long noticed that they had run into a trap, they didn’t need to voice it. This was all a trap, she lured them there, got rid of their company and brought them here. Suddenly Seelie men appeared to the right and left and two people were shoved inside the circle. Both Alec and Magnus gasped loudly as they eyed Jace and Catarina that were completely covered in vines that gripped them tightly.

“Catarina!” Magnus almost shouted as he finally saw his friend again after what felt like ages. He felt his heart throb and his face tremble. He almost felt overwhelmed by his emotions. “Are you okay?” He couldn’t stop the stupid question leaving his mouth, of course she wasn’t okay.

“You don’t have to try Magnus.” The Queen said as she saw Magnus lift his arms. “Your magic is not working inside my castle.” Magnus snapped his fingers desperately, even though he knew Seelies can’t lie he had to try. Of course, nothing happened. He looked back at Catarina whose eyes shimmered, she smiled relieved and nodded.

“Jace, you alright?” Alec asked and Jace nodded, he looked pained though. His arms behind his back. Both had vines in their mouths preventing them from speaking. “Let them go.” Alec said now looking forward and the Queen smiled wider.

“Where is the fun in that?” Alec grabbed Magnus hand and Magnus squeezed it right back.

“Why are they here?” Alec asked the Queen while Magnus still watched his friend, so relieved to see she was okay, despite the vines. He wondered why she was here, what the Queen wanted with her, probably to make Magnus come here, to her. But how did she know Catarina’s presence would lure him here, how did she know about her at all and where she was? And why did they trade her and for what? He had so many questions.

“Let’s play a little game shall we.” The Queen chirped, not answering the question and then leant forward onto her knees with a curious expression. Alec tensed his jaw, not at all liking this one bit while Magnus never left Catarina’s eyes with his own.

“You know Magnus, these vines are magical, they desire truth and nothing but truth. They can make you feel truth, speak truth. Honesty is important to my people, we can’t lie.” Magnus shifted his eyes aside and listened to her. What was happening? Why was this happening? What was the use of this? Alec paled beside him. “I will ask you a question and you will answer honestly. If you lie your friends will suffer.” Magnus looked from Catarina to Jace and then at the Queen.

What? What kind of sick game was this?

“First question, if you had to choose between Catarina and Jace, who would you pick?” Magnus furrowed his brow. That was a rude question.

“I am not going to answer this.” He said and heard a gasp coming from Catarina as the vines tightened around her, Magnus gaped and then straightened himself. “Catarina!” The vines stopped. “My answer is Catarina.” He hated to say it, those words felt like venom on his tongue. He felt his heart pound against his chest as he realised the Queen was in fact not lying, she was going to harm them if they wouldn’t play along.

“Well done Magnus, you got the rules. I knew you would.” She looked proud and then turned her gaze to Alec. “Choose between Catarina and Jace.”

“Jace.” Alec said firmly and nothing happened. “Sorry.” He whispered towards Catarina who only shook her head in understanding.

“Now, it gets a little more difficult. Catarina or Alec?” The Queen asked, looking at Magnus who felt his throat run dry. He looked from one to the other, feeling sick. How could he choose that? He loved Catarina. She was one of the most important persons in his life, his oldest friend. But-

“Alec.” He whispered and flinched at his own answer, almost not daring to look at his friend, but she only smiled and nodded when Magnus finally met her eyes. Magnus inhaled deeply and felt his chin tremble. This was fucking painful. More than painful. He hated this. He didn’t want to play this. He didn’t want to hurt anyone.

The Queen’s smile was so wide, it split her face in half, she turned to Alec. “Jace or Magnus.” The Queen asked and Alec didn’t even flinch. He knew this was coming.

“Magnus.”

“Mghhhh…” Jace groaned as the vines tightened and Magnus looked back at Jace and then at Alec. What was happening? Why was she punishing him? He had answered truthfully. Has he not?

“Magnus!” Alec said again, louder but the vines tightened more and Jace rolled his eyes into the back of his head from the pain while Alec began to sweat, he panted, looking back at his friend who looked like he was going to pass out and then at Magnus before looking at the Queen.

“Jace.” He gasped out, feeling bile rise up his throat as the vines stopped and Jace sighed loudly as the pain subsided.

Magnus stared at his boyfriend’s profile disbelieving what he had just witnessed, his mouth slack, his eyes wide. Did he hear this right? This must be a trick. She had tricked them, she was trying to trick Magnus into believing this, she wanted to separate them. Yes. Magnus gulped heavily and then averted his eyes from Alec who wasn’t meeting his gaze and then stared at the Seelie Queen with anger.

“Shadowhunters.” She said with a chuckle. “You think you know them and they betray you the first chance they get.” Right then, Magnus was sure of this, sure she was playing some sick game. She wanted Magnus to lose trust in his boyfriend and his feelings. But he wasn’t going to let her. Even if it was the truth, it was okay, Jace was his Parabatai, he couldn’t live without him, it was understandable. Yes. Of course, he had to pick Jace, even if Alec might want to choose Magnus, the bond was too strong and made him choose the other, he told himself.

“It’s okay Alexander.” Magnus whispered as he saw Alec still avert his eyes and the way his palm sweated. “I understand.” Alec clenched his jaw and shook his head. He looked like he was in pain and not quite focused. “I get it.” Magnus said again to soothe him but he wasn’t relaxing. Something was wrong.

“If you are honest with me, I will set your friends free.” The Queen said and Magnus perked up.

“I am.” It wasn’t hard for him, he was an honest being, he didn’t like lies so he wouldn’t start now and he would never do anything to hurt Catarina nor Jace. Not willingly.

“Do you trust Alec?”

“I do, with all my heart.” He answered quickly and Alec gasped beside him while his head fell, he heard something like a sob and looked aside concerned, not really understanding why Alec reacted that way, did he say something wrong?

He suddenly heard a sharp inhale of breath as Catarina was released and rubbed the spots were the vines had gripped her. She gave Magnus a sincere smile. “Hello Magnus.” She said, almost crying the words and Magnus smiled back at her widely, proud and full of love. He would love to run into her arms but he was sure he had to stay put, also he didn’t want to leave Alec right now, he seemed not to feel well.

“It’s so good to see you again Catarina.” Magnus gasped and Catarina nodded with a gasped laugh, relieved and both emotional.

“Did you ever lie to Magnus?” Alec flinched so hard; Magnus wasn’t sure if someone had shot him, he quickly looked all over his body but he looked unharmed.

“I did.” Alec said quietly and Magnus felt his eye twitch, his face suddenly tensing up. Okay. Well, everybody lied sometimes. He himself had done some…bending of the truth in the past, but he had told Alec all about it. Alec looked back at Jace, seeing the vines loose around his body, but instead of letting him go they grabbed his wrist and Jace hissed. “You said you would let them go!” Alec shouted towards the Queen, Jace tried to get rid of it but it didn’t work. The Queen giggled shamelessly.

“I did and I will, eventually.” She wiggled her brows once and then concentrated on Magnus. “Magnus.” She said loudly and Magnus looked back at her, he felt his heart beat against his chest roughly, he didn’t know why but he had a bad feeling about this, something felt completely off. “Did you know that your so called boyfriend is happily engaged?” Magnus frowned deeply, oh that bitch. Couldn’t she just stop it, what was the use of this, he wasn’t going to fall for it.

“He told me about it, but he broke the engagement off some time ago. Also, it wasn’t that happily.” Magnus snapped, not in the mood to play her game anymore and he felt Alec’s hand tremble in his own. He hated that she was causing this, causing this pain for his boyfriend.

“Did he?” She turned to Jace. “Jace, is Alec still engaged?”

“Yes, yes, he is.” Jace said and then gasped, his eyes wide open as if he didn’t mean to say that and Alec shot his head aside and stared at him mortified while Jace looked at him with the same desperate expression, lifting his wrist. “I- I am sorry, I-“

“You told me Lydia and you broke it off?” Magnus turned to Alec now, asking not unkindly but utterly confused. Magnus didn’t have the time to comprehend what he was hearing before the Queen lifted her voice again.

“Jace, is Alec engaged to Lydia Branwell?” She inquired in slow motion and leant back in her throne.

“No, he is not.”

Magnus felt a shiver run down his face, through his chest and limbs. He couldn’t seem to focus his eyes they just darted from one place to the other while his face fell, literally, he felt like he couldn’t move a muscle in it. Everything suddenly slowed down and narrowed around him, his hand loosened in Alec’s grip as he tried to understand what he meant by that.

“Magnus…” Alec whispered now facing his boyfriend for the first time since they got here “Magnus.” He repeated and squeezed Magnus’ hand tightly that threatened to fall out. Magnus didn’t know what to think, what to feel, what to do, who he was, what he was, where he was. “It’s not like that Magnus. He left. I am…he, we are not.” Alec stuttered desperately with tears in his eyes, while Magnus’ eyes were still unfocused.

He? He felt something rise in his throat. Who was he talking about? Alec was engaged to someone? To a man? Right now? Was he talking about his ex? He was engaged to his ex? Magnus chin began to quiver, goosebumps rising all over his skin.

Why- why didn’t he tell him about that? Didn’t that seem important enough for Alec to tell? That he was engaged? Magnus blinked his eyes and inhaled deeply, trying to make something out of the mess of thoughts roaming his mind and told himself that his ex was gone, they had lost each other as Alec used to say, though even if they were engaged he was gone and that was the only thing keeping Magnus sane right now. He was gone. He was with him. That engagement didn’t mean anything. Nothing.

“They are not together anymore. He is…with me.” Magnus choked out, more to himself than the Queen, he wasn’t looking at anyone in particular, just stared into the void. He could see Catarina press her hand against her mouth from the edge of his eyes and the tight grip of Alec’s hand who still tried to get his attention, but he couldn’t he couldn’t get himself to face him right now, or anyone.

“Does Alec still love his fiancé?” The Queen asked, not giving them a break.

Alec shot his head up at the Queen, his eyes wide, his face completely pale. “Stop this.” He pleaded but Jace already spoke.

“Yes, he does. With all his heart.” Jace sobbed the words out uncontrollably. “Sorry Alec, I’m so sorry.” His voice broke and he seemed weak on his knees, feeling the pain that came from Alec.

Magnus’ eyes flashed as he stared at Jace, he blinked them and averted them to the ground, breathing hard. That was all he managed right now. Breathing, as he felt his heart crumble to ashes.

“If his fiancé would return, would Alec take him back?” She rolled the words off her tongue.

“Stop it!” Alec shouted now, though he knew she wouldn’t care. This was exactly what she wanted, what she had wanted all along, they walked right into her trap. “Please.” He said desperately. Magnus looked back up to Jace slowly, almost not daring to hear the answer but he had to, his eyes kept flashing back and forth completely out of control.

“Yes, he would.”

Magnus felt something snap inside of him, his face froze and so did his eyes, now showing his warlock mark, he couldn’t tell if he was still breathing, if he was still standing, it felt like something just burst deep inside him, thrusting him into the void, he stared at Jace emotionless while his hand slipped out of Alec’s. Alec lowered his head with a loud sob and then turned to Magnus, he immediately reached for Magnus’ cheek with trembling fingers, trying to keep him close.

“Magnus…this…this is-“ He stuttered. “It’s-” He gulped not knowing what to say, how to explain this, he couldn’t tell it’s not the truth because it was the truth, if the old Magnus returned, of course he would take him back and of course he loved his fiancé. But he also loved him just as much because it was the same damn man! Magnus got this completely wrong and the Queen wanted this to happen. Magnus took a step back and felt Alec’s hands slip from his face.

“I will see you again, Magnus.” The Queen said in a whisper and then lifted her arms and threw her head back, before a green substance washed over them and sucked them in, Magnus landed on solid ground, hearing gasps and voices instantly, he opened his eyes to see he was standing inside the ops center, inside the Institute. Clary, Izzy and Simon stood behind the computer table, Jace was thrown to the ground near them, Catarina landed on the other side near the corridors and Alec right in front of Magnus, Magnus lifted his head and glowing eyes to Alec almost in slow motion, he felt something crawl up his chest, his throat, it was pure and unfiltered wrath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this just happened 🤧 How much do you hate the Seelie Queen right now? Or Alec for never having the guts? They walked right into her trap. Hands up for everyone who thought it was gonna be Jace to tell? No one? Yeah, same. Poor man was dragged into this. Alec has some serious explaining to do and let's hope he gets a chance. I know this was painful, for them, for us, and it will get even worse...haha 😂 but things will get better...eventually. I hope you enjoy the angst as much as the rest, after all, you need the pain to appreciate the good. Let me know about your thoughts, give me your love and the pain, I will take it all. Thanks for leaving comments and kudos on the last chapter! 😘


	49. Chapter 49

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You are engaged?” Magnus asked in a whisper and the room silenced. Clary’s eyes shot aside to Magnus while Izzy lifted her hand to her mouth in shock. Jace still sobbed quietly, feeling utterly guilty, he pressed his hand down on his Parabatai rune that sent pure pain through his body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://ibb.co/SPjwg4J)   

> 
> I listened to these songs by Sia while writing the next few chapters. In case you want to feel the mood.
> 
> Alive  
Big Girls Cry  
Fire Meet Gasoline  
Bird Set Free  
Eye Of The Needle

“Alec!” Izzy screamed and was about to dart across the room when Jace grabbed her by the upper arm to hold her back once he stood, Clary ran to Jace side and made sure he was okay, she gasped as she saw his tear stained face that he shook almost desperately, his face turned into a grimace.

“What’s wrong? Jace?” She asked, her voice unstable, but Jace was completely focused on Alec.

“You are engaged?” Magnus asked in a whisper and the room silenced. Clary’s eyes shot aside to Magnus while Izzy lifted her hand to her mouth in shock. Jace still sobbed quietly, feeling utterly guilty, he pressed his hand down on his Parabatai rune that sent pure pain through his body.

“Oh no…” Clary said in a shaky murmur as she realised what must have happened.

“This is not what it looks like.” Alec swallowed to get the lump down that had formed in his throat, his mouth felt parched. “My fiancé, he is not…”

“Your fiancé.” Magnus repeated, his voice low. He knew the Seelie and Jace spoke the truth but still, hearing Alec confirm it so casually was something else entirely. It hurt in every cell of his body. He clenched his teeth so hard that his head trembled, magic flickered over his fingertips. Alec had lied to him. Alec was with someone else. “Were you ever going to tell me?” Magnus voice almost turned into a growl; his emotions were all over the place. He didn’t care that everyone saw his warlock mark at this point, that everyone witnessed this, he didn’t care for anyone that was around.

“Yes! I wanted to, I tried, I- I wanted to so often it just…” He gasped and sighed, pressing his lips together. Magnus didn’t know what to believe. He wanted to believe him, believe in the good but it was so fucking hard. He could have told him so many times, there were more than a hundred chances for him to tell, he clearly didn’t want to.

“You still love him.” Magnus stated as a matter of fact and felt his heart clench the second the words left his lips. He had to know.

“Magnus…it’s-“ Alec sighed and rolled his hands into fists desperately, he could barely stand the sight of Magnus looking at him so completely lost, so hurt. “I do…but-“ He knew there was no denying it, Magnus had heard the truth, he didn’t want to lie to him anymore. “You don’t understand.” He gestured to him with his hand, gripping thin air.

Magnus lips parted with a tremble. He had heard it before, had heard Jace say it, but Alec confirming it broke something inside him all over again. He didn’t even try to deny it. He still loved him, is that why he never told Magnus that he loved him, because he was still in love with his ex? No, not his ex, his fiancé. Has he just played it? Everything? Has he played him? Used him until his fiancé would return? Magnus felt his eyes water slowly, filling from the edges up until his vision became blurry.

“I understand it.” Magnus licked his lips that were completely chapped and cold. “You are waiting for your fiancé to return to you and enjoy my company in the meantime. I’m only a toy to you.” Magnus trailed off with a whisper. Alec flinched so hard that his whole body began to tremble. Not only at the word toy, but at the distance in his voice, the desperation in it. He just wanted to cross the distance and take him into his arms, make him understand how much he loved him and only him.

“You were never a toy to me Magnus! Never. I- I never played anything of it, my feelings for you are true. I don’t want to lose you, I-“

“If he would return right now, would you choose him or me?” Magnus voice was still unbelievably steady despite the situation.

“Magnus, you don’t-“

“Answer me Alec!” Magnus shouted and Alec flinched again. Magic cursed over Magnus’ fingers and the Shadowhunters tensed up behind Alec, a few taking a step forward to protect their leader.

“Magnus, listen to me. Please. I have to explain this.” Alec said, lifting his hands and coming a step closer with tears in his eyes. Magnus backed off immediately.

“Don’t come near me.” He hissed and Alec felt like throwing up. Magnus has said a lot of hurtful things these past minutes, one word more painful than the other, but that was the worst of all. Alec’s arms and upper body shook so hard he was barely standing, he was so afraid, so completely overwhelmed.

“Magnus…please.” He almost cried and took another tentative step. Magnus spread his legs and stood sideways; his arm stretched towards Alec with red magic swirling around his fingers. He glared at Alec, his eyes filled with rage and tears.

“I said, don’t come near me.” Magnus threatened with a growl. He felt that he was completely out of control but couldn’t do anything against it, his emotions were just all over the place. His whole body shivered, with anger, excitement, disgust, confusion, hate, despair, fear.

Alec stretched his arm to the Shadowhunters, seeing that they came even closer, drawing their weapons, he motioned for them to halt and not come closer. This wasn’t their fight; Magnus wouldn’t hurt him. At least he hoped so. Jace turned away and leant on the table breathing hard before kneeling down as Alec’s emotions overwhelmed him, Clary cried in silence, never leaving Magnus with her eyes, while Izzy did the same with Alec. This was painful for everyone to witness.

“Magnus, you are my fiancé.” Alec pressed through his teeth that didn’t stop trembling. “I am engaged to you…it was always you.” Magnus frowned, before he tilted his head, hearing it crack. What was this now? What was he playing here? How could he do this right now? Why couldn’t he just be honest this time, after everything Magnus had done for him, he had laid his heart and soul bare to him, Alec told him to be honest always, to trust him and he did and Alec was going to make up some shit to get out of this mess?

“Stop this!” Magnus spat.

“No, Magnus. You- you are not in another dimension, you never were.” Alec exhaled shakily, his heart pounding hard in his chest. “You are in your own future. Clary…she brought you here by mistake, we tried to fix it but it didn’t work.” He explained in a rush like the words had lingered on his tongue for months and he could finally say them. He wanted to be honest finally, he wanted Magnus to understand, he needed him to understand. “My fiancé, you, were suddenly gone, replaced by your younger version.”

“Why are you doing this?” Magnus mumbled. His voice was showing emotions for the first time, he sounded desperate. He couldn’t understand why Alec would play this sick game now, didn’t he go through enough already? Alec looked over to Catarina desperately who pressed her lips into a thin line, understanding. Magnus followed his gaze to her, she put her eyes on Magnus with regret. He waited for her to bust his lies.

“It’s true Magnus. Everything.” Catarina whispered. “I am so sorry…”

What?- Magnus felt his face twitch, his eyes went back to Alec almost in fear, like he needed him to tell him it wasn’t true, but he just told him it was. Future, engaged, future, engaged, the words repeated itself while images and memories suddenly flooded Magnus’ mind without mercy.

\---------

„Who are you?“ - „Magnus, it’s me…Biscuit?...what is wrong?“

“Alec lo…likes you a lot Magnus, more than anything. I knew he would accept you and I told you so.”

“Magnus…what year is it?” - “1791, why?”

“I know what happened to you Magnus; I just don’t know how to fix it yet.” - “You do? Why didn’t you tell me?” - “You weren’t ready. I didn’t want to overwhelm you.”

“I didn’t think you’d be out here though, to be honest. I’ve seen you do strange things Magnus, but this really is something new.” - “You know me?” - “Did you hit your head?”

“I just want you to be safe.” - “Why?” - “Because, I owe you…”

“I won’t leave Alexander.” - “So, you and the shadowhunter are a thing now.” - “I didn’t think he’d manage to wrap you around his finger so quickly. Or his dick.” - “He didn’t wrap me around anything, I like him and he likes me. That’s it. And I would prefer if you wouldn’t take his dick in your mouth.” - “There are a lot of things you don’t know about him, Magnus.”

“The warlocks will support the cause; you have my word.” - “I know my friend; you have never failed to do what’s right.”

“Why would Alec react that way if you were flirting with me?” - “Ehm, well he is just very protective I suppose.”

“What does that mean? Is he someone to sleep around?” - “No, not at all. He only has eyes for you.”

“What are you playing Magnus.” - “Excuse me?” - “I see you are still with that shadowhunter of yours.” - “You know him?”- “This is not funny; you are being childish.”

“Maybe your fiancé can explain the matter.”

\---------

Magnus stumbled backwards, his magic fading away, he panted and felt his chest tightening after all the memories that suddenly made so much sense to him, all these awkward situations, all this confusion, all their weird words, all this, it all made sense. It was true. It was fucking true. Magnus shifted his eyes to the others and the first he saw was Clary, her hand pressed against her mouth, crying desperately, Jace stared at him with regret in his eyes, Izzy and Simon both averted their eyes to the ground. They…they…they all knew? They all lied to him? All this time? Made him believe he was trapped in some dimension, that they didn’t know him? Made fun of him behind their backs?

No…No…this can’t be true…No this…he shook his head in disbelief, not wanting to believe this, not wanting to hear this, any of this, it was too much. “No.” Magnus whispered and took another step back while his hands rose to his head, pressing against his temples, he felt like losing it.

“Magnus…” Catarina gasped and Magnus shook his head violently, tightening the grip on his head.

“No!” He shouted and took another step back before his eyes fixed on Alec.

\---------

“Are you okay?” He then asked, the rough voice from before turning into a soft whisper; only meant for his ears…Alec’s eyes darted from one eye to the other; to his lips, to his mouth, to his hair, to his ears, noticing the cut on one of them, he looked at him like he was from another world. Well he was. He seemed like he was studying his face. Seeing something he didn’t like, or liked? He couldn’t really tell…- “I’m okay.” Magnus whispered finally; pulling his arms from his hands slowly and then looking back up into his eyes. He blinked a few times; not knowing why he was getting this intense stare from the stranger. - “Can you heal yourself?” he asked backing off a little; stopping to stare at him. His voice changed in an instant, it seemed colder now and distant. Whatever he had searched on his face a second before, he seemed to have found it and it changed his whole attitude.

“Why are you in my room?” - “Your room?” - “Yes, my room. I sleep here.” - “This used to be my room…before. Yes.”

Magnus didn’t know what to make of this. He clearly knew Magnus wasn’t okay but how did he know? He knew him for what…2 weeks now? Was he some kind of mind reader? And why was he so concerned with him anyways. He was a warlock after all. And a stranger. He wanted to snap at him, tell him he was fine and to back off; he didn’t like someone sneaking above his guarding walls and peeking inside. But the gentle look on his face wouldn’t let him. Alec looked right into his soul, like he knew everything about him and it warmed him from the inside in a way he didn’t know before. Maybe he could let him get a glimpse through the walls for a moment.

“I know you wouldn’t hurt me.” - “You sure about that?”- “I am sure.”

“Alec, I think my phone is broken, if you have the time maybe you could have a look at it for me?” - “What? Show me, I think I can fix it.” - “It’s the time, or more the year, something is off there.”

“Where is your navel?” - “I don’t have one.” - “But- you…you have, I mean.”

“It’s okay. I know. I am sorry I pushed you so much, this is new to you, I am new to you, I mean we are new to each other.”

\---------

Magnus breath picked up, his heartbeat increased even more, sweat covered his skin. He began to feel lightheaded as his hands dropped from his head, he still shook it from left to right, a tremble rocked through his whole body.

\---------

“Your ex seems like quite the nice guy…you never told me why you two broke up.” - “He is…he was. He was my first boyfriend and meant a lot to me.” - “Your first boyfriend? I thought you-…” - “No, he was my first. I was in the closet before I met him and he- yes. He helped me in so many ways. I am not into one night stands or such, I don’t want anyone but y- but…” - “How did it end?” - “As I told you, we lost each other. He was gone…from one second to the other. Gone…But if that wouldn’t have happened, I wouldn’t be here with you right now…I would have never met you and Magnus…you are wonderful. You are the most beautiful being I have ever laid eyes on…I love the way you speak, the way you think, your jokes even if you don’t mean to be funny, the way you blush…Yes. That…I am so grateful I have met you.”

“If I said anything that made you uncomfortable then I am deeply sorry. I am used to talk open about such things and I- I sometimes forget you are not. I should have been more sensitive, please forgive me.”

“Magnus you are the most important thing, person, in my life, more than my job or my runes, more than anything in the world.”

“Alexander, will you be my boyfriend?” - “I actually thought we are boyfriends already; you know I would never do such things with a stranger. I don’t do one-night stands.”

\---------

Magnus chest began to hurt, his heart pounded almost painfully hard, he heard it drumming in his ears, dulling all other noises around him. He felt the tears sting on the edges of his eyes, his chin trembled while he tried to desperately hold on to his sanity.

\---------

“Partly yes, she agreed to do this for our families and ourselves, she didn’t know I was gay back then…but she found out soon enough, I- I kind of left her on the altar when my ex-boyfriend marched in…I kissed him, I chose him...” - “That is…kind of romantic I suppose…I wish I was there; this must have been awesome.”

“You don’t have to fear anything, there has always been only one for me.”

“I can’t swim.” - “You can’t swim? How come I never knew that?” - “It never came up…”

“I don’t like the water much. I stayed away from it most of my life. When I was young, my- my stepfather, he tried to drown me-“ - “What? You…you never told me!” - “I am telling you now.”

\---------

The truth hit him so hard it hurt more than anything he ever felt before, it was so obvious, right in front of his eyes, all this time. All of it…was fake…The tears began to pearl out of his eyes and streamed down his cheeks, his throat clenched and his face turned into a grimace as he began to cry, completely losing the last piece of his control while his sobs grew louder and chaotic, he grabbed his own heart above his jacket as he felt it hurt, everything hurt, his chest, his arms, his legs, his head, his throat, his soul. He fought for air as he stumbled backwards and fell to the ground.

Alec took a step closer, his arm stretched out as if he wanted to help him.

Magnus wrapped his arms around his mid as a high and bone trembling cry, edging on a scream echoed through the ops center, his voice broke. He rose his hands to his eyes in a desperate attempt to hide himself, to vanish from there, from them, from their watchful eyes as he was completely breaking down.

“Magnus…” Alec whispered in a broken voice, he felt like fainting, he was sick, he was in pain, he had never witnessed anything as painful as seeing his boyfriend cry like this, it literally hurt, it hurt in every cell of his body and he was the cause for this. He had done this to him. To the person he loved more than anything. He fell forward to his knees, his vision completely blurry.

Catarina closed the distance to her friend and opened a portal right in front of him, she gave the others a concerned look and then grabbed Magnus arm, they disappeared right in front of them. Alec stared at the empty spot where Magnus had sat, before he too began to sob, his head dropping forward. Izzy immediately ran towards her brother and knelt down while she wrapped him in a painfully tight embrace.

\---

Magnus felt warm arms wrap around himself and just clutched onto the person’s clothing, barely able to stand at all, his whole body shivered so hard as he cried his eyes out, still sobbing loud and uncontrolled, Catarina hugged him tight and stroked his back, whispering into his ear while she tried wipe her own wet face. He didn’t even realise who it is he was holding and he didn’t care. They remained like that for what felt like an eternity until his breathing slowed down, his sobs subsided, his tears stopped. He sniffled and pushed his face into her shoulder, noticing her all too familiar smell, before taking a step back and looking up at her through his puffy eyes and wet eyelashes.

Catarina held his gaze, with regret and concern showing in them.

“How could they do this to me?” Magnus sobbed, tasting his own salty tears on his chapped lips.

“I didn’t…I didn’t want this to happen, I thought we could bring you back before anything happened. It was…it was my fault Magnus, I told them not to tell you. I thought it was the best for you…if you would have known you would have meddled with your future and believe me it’s a beautiful future.” She rushed and Magnus’ eyes widened again, he took a shaky step back but Catarina immediately reached for him and hold him by his wrist.

“You?” Magnus gasped.

“I’m sorry Magnus…I only…I wanted what’s best for you, I never wanted to hurt you, you know me, I would never- I only wanted to protect you.“ Magnus averted his eyes to the ground, feeling betrayed all over again. This was all too much. He wasn’t in the right mindset to actually follow her words right now; he needed a moment to breathe. 

Magnus wanted to yell at her, to tell her she didn’t fucking protect him, she made it worse, but he couldn’t. She was the only person he had left right now, the only one he really knew, the only one he knew could trust and he needed the comfort right now. She knew what was going on inside him, she knew he didn’t forgive her but that he needed her and it was okay, she would always be there for him. She stroked his wrist gently with her thumb.

He lifted his eyes to see exposed red brick walls and pillars, there was a black spiral staircase to his left, he let his eyes wander over the place, further to the right, a huge painting of what looked like a river by a city, a fading sunset on the horizon hang on the wall, in front was a glass table with white short stools, withering flowers in a graceful pot, his eyes met blue and yellow armchairs, a dark table and a black leather sofa to his right, there was a balcony in front of him, thick carpets and to his right another colourful painting with a green little house on it, the art looked expensive, the furniture looked expensive, everything looked fucking expensive, he felt like he was in some kind of museum.

He didn’t notice he was staring until his eyes met Catarina’s who had watched him observe the place with a careful gaze. “We are…we are in your apartment Magnus.” She whispered.

“My apartment?” His voice was hoarse from all the crying, it actually hurt. He spoke the words but couldn’t quite follow them.

“Yes…your future self’s apartment…I didn’t know where else to bring you. This place is safe, you have wards up. No one will come in when you don’t want them, this way you can be by yourself for now.”

Magnus still looked around himself, this place was completely foreign, though it looked nice, he would be able to appreciate it more if he was seeing clearly, if his head wouldn’t feel like it would burst any second.

“You should sit, or better sleep. Take some rest…” Catarina soothed and pulled him through the apartment and to the right, his steps were slow but he followed, he felt too weak and confused to do anything else, Catarina led him into another room. His eyes met a bed with red silk bedding, to his left was a window, another armchair, more furniture, to the right another black door. He clenched his eyes shut, it was too much at the moment, he really needed to rest.

Catarina sat him down on the bed and took off his boots and helped him out of his jacket, he fell aside instantly, his body feeling heavy, he gasped at how soft the bed was. She covered his body with the blanket and gave him a soft kiss on the temple before she stroked his hair out of his face and then retreated, closing the black door behind herself. Magnus was gone within seconds.

He awoke a while later and felt his head hurt so hard, he hissed loudly and grabbed his temple, he snapped his fingers and the pain washed away, he blinked his eyes, staring at the window in front of him, where was he? He lifted himself to sit and looked around himself as it dawned on him.

The apartment. His apartment. His future. Fuck. This was no dream.

The truth came crashing down on him again so quick he felt lightheaded. His face instantly scrunched into a grimace, the tears threatening to leave his eyes again. He gulped heavily and fought it down as good as possible. He got up reluctantly and slurped to the door on the left thinking this was the way out as he entered a bathroom.

It wasn’t big but very luxurious and it smelled like sandalwood. The smell was both comforting and odd. It was his very unique smell. He let his fingertips brush along the sink and then stopped in front of the round mirror to his left, his eyes lifted and he gasped loudly as he saw himself. His eyes were red and swollen, his face wet, his nose red, his lips chapped and puffy. He still looked better than he felt.

He turned around and left the bathroom to head for the other room, he entered the living room he had seen before and saw Catarina flinch, she turned around from where she sat on the black couch and then got up, clasping her hands in front of her stomach. She looked tired and exhausted.

“Hey Magnus…did you sleep good?”

Magnus walked closer, his face trembling, his eyes filling with tears again, a quiet whimper leaving his lips. Catarina quickly closed the distance and took him back into her arms.

“It’s going to be okay.” She whispered and stroked his back until he calmed down, they parted and she gestured for him to sit, he did and sat down on the couch, an array of beige and orange pillows behind him, she handed him a drink right away. “Here…you need this.” Magnus didn’t even hesitate for a second and downed it. It burnt in his throat, not pleasantly, but it felt like a good distraction from the pain in his heart. They sat in silence for a while, Catarina was sitting on the table in front of him.

“I don’t know what to say.” Magnus then choked out; his voice was low.

“It’s okay, I understand. It was a lot to take in…” She placed her hand on his thigh.

“They all knew…all this time.” Magnus whispered. “I feel so stupid…nothing of it…was real.”

“Magnus, it was real. They love you, all of them. They care for you.”

“They care for my older self, not me. They love my older self…not me.” Magnus shook his head with a fake smile, he still fought against the urge to just sob again like a baby. “Where were you all this time?”

“I visited all the Warlocks I knew that are powerful enough to be of help but nobody knew a solution. I went to the Spiral Labyrinth for answers but- you know the rest, they didn’t like this at all, they assumed that you wanted this to happen and I was part of it.” Magnus listened as good as possible; he was still not really focused.

“I am sorry that this happened to you, it wasn’t your fault. It was Clary’s-“ He paused and then sniffled again, a little sob leaving his lips as he thought of Clary. They had grown so close the past months, he considered her one of his best friends, ever, the thought that she just played all of this, caused all of this, maybe didn’t even like him and only endured his presence was so hurtful that he wanted nothing but to curl up and cry again.

It felt so real, it felt so right. He had finally found a place he considered home, with friends he loved so much, that he thought loved him back, that he trusted, that accepted him the way he was and always have, he felt safe and happy there in their presence, like he had never felt before. They gave him hope, they gave him…a family. He found love.

Now all he felt was emptiness, confusion, anger, pain. He could barely breathe, everything hurt.

Catarina pressed her hand on her jeans pocket and then reached inside to pull her phone out, she gasped and then swallowed before shoving it back. Magnus reached for his own phone inside his jeans pocket and pulled it out, he completely forgot about it and hadn’t used it at all the past days, since he didn’t need it in the Seelie Realm. He unlocked it, it still had battery.

20 missed calls, 34 messages.

Magnus blinked his eyes with a frown and then threw the phone aside, it landed on the floor with a loud thud and slithered to the balcony door. Catarina followed the movement with her eyes and then looked back at Magnus with a mix of pity and concern.

“They care for you Magnus…if you believe it or not. You…not your older self, you. I am sure of that.” Magnus clenched his jaw and looked up, a hint of anger dancing in his eyes, Catarina sighed. “As I said, they won’t disturb you here if you don’t want them to. I am sorry, I know you need me but I- I have to leave you now, I have to go see my daughter, I hope you understand.”

“Your daughter?” Magnus face softened for the first time. Catarina had a daughter? How?

“Yes.” She gasped with a wide smile. “Madzie. She must be worried sick.” Magnus smiled as far as he managed and then nodded. “I will tell you all about her next time, okay? Call me if you need me, anytime Magnus. I will come back right away.” She leant forward and kissed his cheek gently and then opened a portal to leave, the moment it closed Magnus gasped loudly, not having realised he had been holding his breath.

He stared into the room, not moving an inch, the glass in his hand, clutching it tightly. He inhaled deeply but felt his breath get jerky, he blinked his eyes rapidly then got up to stand, he walked a few steps, below the huge chandelier and watched the glass in his hand before he threw it across the room, it shattered against the wall and into a thousand pieces, just like his heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhmmmm, the truth is out. All of it. Only took 49 chapters. I hope it wasn't too painful...haha...who am I kidding, it was 🤧 The angst won't leave just yet, it will continue for a bit, I hope you are prepared for the ride. Stick through it, it's worth it. Do you feel sorry for Alec or think he deserves this? Magnus clearly wasn't expecting this, it completely overwhelmed him just like Catarina had predicted, he is a mess, he needs comfort, he needs...everything 😫 Let's hope he get's it. Soon. Thank you for all the comments on the last chapter and please continue to leave feedback! 😍 I read them all and answer them all. Let me share your pain and thoughts.


	50. Chapter 50

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You said I was safe here! You said nobody could enter!” He shouted and Catarina gulped.
> 
> “What…I…yes.” She stammered and fidgeted.
> 
> “Well guess who just came by. So much to that.”
> 
> “I don’t understand…you…Alec?” She asked with a furrowed brow.
> 
> “Yes, Alec! Basically, the person I didn’t want to see the most just stood in my apartment!” Catarina gasped and then exhaled slowly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://ibb.co/54Xc3PP)  


Magnus watched the broken glass on the ground for a few minutes until his breathing slowed down, he continued his walk through a wide corridor, a tall old looking bookcase to his right and what looked like glasses of different sizes. They looked awfully familiar. Magnus took a few steps closer and took one of them in his hand, his lips parted as he noticed his own writing on the glass of vampire fangs. Those were ingredients for potions, those were his ingredients, those were his glasses. He put it back down as his fingers began to shake not wanting to drop it.

Another few minutes passed by as he stood there, staring at his ingredients in disbelief. Of course, he knew Catarina hadn’t lied to him before but seeing the proof was overwhelming him all over again. His eyes shifted aside to the books, if those were his glasses, those were probably his books too. He lifted his hand as if to touch one but then let it drop again. Another time. He turned around and then continued his walk through the apartment like in trance while he observed every little corner and furniture in it.

There was a huge black main door, he turned to his right, taking a tour through the loft, realising it was huge, far too big for one person alone, it had another bedroom, probably a guest room, a guest bathroom, a storage room, a small but very well equipped kitchen, a door that was closed near the living room, his bedroom with an ensuite bathroom and a huge balcony. He didn’t go upstairs yet; this was more than enough for now. Everything looked beautiful and was exactly his taste, in fact he was sure he recognized a few things like paintings and sculptures as his own. But maybe his mind was playing him tricks.

He stopped at the living room once he ended his tour and sighed. This place was what he had always dreamt of, he always dreamed of owning a place like this. In New York. This was so bizarre. He opened the huge balcony door and breathed in deeply, the extreme cold air burnt in his lungs but it was exactly what he needed right now. He stepped outside and into the sunset as he flinched, he looked down to see a white cat brush along his leg. A little smile curled his lips upwards. He crouched down and stroked the feline from head to tail and it purred below his hand.

“Well, hello you…are you mine?” He asked. “You look hungry.” He said and then got up, snapping his fingers to have a bowl of food appear in the other corner, the cat immediately sprinted towards it and ate and Magnus smiled contently, for a second forgetting everything around him, before he went to the edge of the balcony, he grabbed the railing and inhaled, closing his eyes for a moment before he opened them again.

The sky was bright red, fading into pink and then blue, it was incredibly beautiful. He could still see the sun shine on the horizon, the sight almost took his breath away. It was calm and soothing. He looked over the city, he could hear the sounds in the distance though they were very quiet up here. Life just went on. A thin film of snow covered the buildings.

This was his future…this was the future New York. He had difficulties to wrap his head around this, how long would he stay here still? Would they ever be able to get him back? Did he still want to stay or did he want to get back now that he knew the truth? They probably wanted their old Magnus back. Wherever he was, was he stuck in the past? This was quite confusing. Ragnor was still waiting for him in his past. Maybe he was searching for him? His Ragnor. How much he would give to have him here right now, to talk to him. See a familiar face.

Knowing he had such good friends in the future that cherished him so much was a touching thought, he must have done something right in his life. It all made sense now, everything. The way they behaved, the way they spoke, what they did, everything made sense. How come he didn’t see this sooner? Maybe he didn’t want to see it. It felt too good, it was too good. Too good to be real. He sighed and then let the railing go to walk back inside. Of course, this wasn’t real, when had anything ever worked out well for him?

\---

Alec sat in his office, his face in his palms, clutching onto his own strands painfully rough while teardrops landed on the desk in silence. He didn’t know for how long he had sat there now and just breathed, but it must have been a while. Jace sat right in front of him, his elbows leant on the chair, his fingers interlocked as he brushed his lips along his own fingers from left to right. Never taking his eyes off Alec. There was nothing but silence in the room, Jace just sat with him for the past 2 hours, not wanting to leave his side for only a second right now.

“It’s all my fault.” Alec suddenly whispered and then lifted his wet face slowly, quick movements hurt at the moment, his head was exploding. The tears had left wet stains on his face, his eyes red. Jace just looked at him, not agreeing, neither denying with his words. He could make a snarky remark but he wouldn’t. He would never, not when Alec was hurt. But he also didn’t want to lie to him. The good thing about Jace was, he was always honest even if the truth hurt.

“It was a complicated situation Alec, and the fault is with all of us, we all lied to him, not only you, don’t take the blame for this.” Jace voice was low and soothing, at least he tried.

“But it should have been me, I should have told him, so long ago. I should have been honest. I shouldn’t have listened to Catarina and just followed my gut.” Alec choked out, another stray tear leaving his eyelid.

“We all make mistakes Alec…”

“This is not a fucking mistake Jace!” Alec shouted, his brow furrowing. “I just lost Magnus. Probably forever.” Alec inhaled, trying to fight his tears down. He felt his throat constricting. “Jace…he will never speak to me again, he…I have not only lost him but the old Magnus too, why would he ever come near me in the future after what I did to him? He knows now, he won’t…he will stay away. I lost…I lost them both.” He sobbed, his breath suddenly getting jerky and Jace instantly jumped off his chair and quickly made his way to Alec’s side, he wrapped his arms around Alec’s shivering body protectively and pressed his head against Alec’s while he listened to him cry, seeing, feeling the pain.

Izzy quietly knocked on the door and then entered the room slowly, Jace looked her way with his eyes, without saying a word, it wasn’t needed and then looked back at Alec, stroking his hair to calm him. Izzy quietly made her way to the desk and sat on the side of it while she reached for Alec’s hand and placed it between her palms.

“We are here for you Alec, always.” Izzy whispered and stroked his hand, she had to look away and face the other way, she couldn’t stand the sight of her big brother crying like that, but she also couldn’t leave him alone with this.

“It hurts so much…” Alec mumbled between his sobs and Izzy squeezed his hand tighter. She let her eyes roam over the desk and saw Alec’s phone and all the messages to Magnus, all unseen.

“I know…” Jace whispered. “I’ve got you.”

“Why didn’t I say a word? Why- why was I so stupid? So selfish. I never meant to hurt him.” He gulped heavily; his throat was too dry. “I don’t even know where he is…I just…I just want to hold him, talk to him. I- I need him Jace. I need him to be safe, to be happy.” Jace nodded and Izzy stroked his fingers, brushing the engagement ring.

It was almost unbearable. No, it was unbearable. The thought of having lost Magnus, to never see him again was…no…he couldn’t think of that. He had hurt him, so much, he had lied to him, the image of him crying so desperately still played in his head on loop, he could still see him, hear him, feel his pain, it was haunting him. He said he never cried, but he did right then and there. He made him cry. ‘You deserve it, all of it Alexander.’ He heard Magnus’ words in his head, though he probably meant something else, Alec realised he was right, he deserved all of this. It was his fault.

\---

Magnus blinked his eyes open and sat up quickly, banging his head on the table. “Ouch! Fuck.” He groaned and held his head before he looked around seeing that he was on the ground in the living room, in front of the couch. How the fuck did that happen? He must have passed out yesterday. Well, who could blame him?

He got up with a groan and rubbed his head as the light shone right into his eyes, he shielded his eyes with his free hand and lowered the other, it was early in the morning and he was still in the apartment. His eyes landed on the phone not far from him, he knelt forward and grabbed it; it was dead. With a shrug he got up and then walked to the kitchen, there was a cable on the counter top he had noticed yesterday and he quickly connected his phone to it. Of course, it fit. It was his. Just like all of this.

He opened the fridge to see boxes of food all neatly titled with weekdays but they were empty. It wasn’t his handwriting. He looked in the freezer, there was a piece of strawberry cake, with a note on it, he snatched it and read ‘this is my favourite so far, what do you think? Love, A.’ Magnus furrowed his brow and then put the note back. He closed the freezer again and headed back to the living room, seeing a drinking cart on one side.

He quickly poured himself a martini and drank in silence, trying to keep his mind sane. He then went for the bathroom and took a shower to clean himself, he felt awfully calm, it was creepy but somehow, he felt drained off all emotions. Leaving him in a peaceful state of mind. He turned the water off and dried himself in one of the softest towels he had ever felt against his skin and then headed for the cupboard hoping to find some clothes in it. It was filled with all kind of colourful clothes; he took the least weird stuff he could find which was a tight long-sleeved black shirt with buttons on the collar and black jeans and then left the room.

He went back to the kitchen and unlocked his phone before he tried to find the internet and looked at current news. Why did he never do that before? How could he have been so oblivious? ‘Things are different in this dimension.” Fucking hell, how could he ever believe those lies. It was so obvious. He looked at pictures from all around the world and current events before he closed it with a sigh, feeling a headache rise and then stared at his messages and missed calls notifications.

32 missed calls. 56 messages.

He hovered his finger over the messenger and then opened it, seeing that most were from Alec, but also some from the others. He closed it immediately and slammed the phone down, not in the mood to read any of it. Suddenly his chest began to tighten again, he couldn’t quite take a breath, sweat poured out of his pores, why was it so hot? Fuck. He dashed to the balcony and slammed the doors open and tripped over the threshold and landed on all fours on the balcony, it didn’t matter, he didn’t even really notice it, he could breathe again. That was all that mattered.

Alec…fucking Alec Lightwood. His face turned back into a grimace while the tears began to build up in a matter of seconds before falling down on the ground, he shuffled back to sit on his calves and clutched his arms around his body while he sobbed uncontrollably, his whole body shaking and not from the cold. ‘Are you insane Magnus? It’s freaking cold.’ He heard Alec say in his head and shook his head almost forcefully, trying to get the voice out of his head, the images, the memory, he had tried so hard to hold on, to not think of him.

How could he do this to him? How could he…lie all this time, when he was so eager about telling him to trust him. He did, he trusted him, he loved him, he would have given his life for him. He has never been happier in his whole 100 years than the past months with Alec, it felt right, it felt perfect, even though their struggles and miscommunications it was the best time of his life. He was the best boyfriend, the best friend. He felt a connection he had never felt before, with anyone. So deep, so strong.

He was so stupid. So naïve.

The memories of the past few days flooded his mind, the time he spent with Alec alone, their talk about the past, he had told him everything, everything there was to know, Alec probably knew it all before and listened out of politeness. He said…that he loved him. Even though Alec was asleep. He had actually felt it right then, clear and pure, the love he felt for Alec. It all seemed like a memory from long ago now.

He got up 10 minutes later as he didn’t feel his body anymore and went back inside, slightly shivering. He closed the door and was about to head for the drinking cart again to drown his sorrow when he stopped in his tracks in the middle of the living room as he heard some rustling from the left. He turned his head the moment the black door to his bedroom opened and Alec stepped outside, Alec flinched and froze, a startled expression on his face like he didn’t expect to see Magnus here while Magnus lips parted in shock.

Why…how…Catarina said…what…?

“Magnus…” Alec whispered shakily. Magnus stared at him for a second, before he thrusted his arm forward, a ball of red magic shot out of his palm so fast he had no chance to stop it, it hit Alec’s shoulder, causing him to stumble back against the door. He hissed loudly and held his shoulder, the fabrics burnt, his skin exposed. Magnus flinched forward, his free hand stretched out as if he wanted to help him, before he stopped himself and straightened.

Alec looked up horrified and both stared at each other like they didn’t quite know what just happened before Magnus expression darkened, his jaw clenched tightly together, he felt the magic tingle below his skin, building like a wave and his arm shot forward again, another ball flying over the distance and hitting Alec’s thigh, he crumbled to the ground with a yelp and landed on all fours.

Magnus watched him hit the ground while he pressed his hand on his bleeding thigh, something inside Magnus yelled at him, told him to stop this, to check on him, to heal him, while his body was taking control nonetheless. Red magic cursed over his fingers, his whole body tensed and trembled. He couldn’t stop himself; he couldn’t control himself.

“Magnus! Please! I have to talk to you.” Alec pressed out, his voice sounded pained, of course he was in pain. He tried to get up but lost his balance, he groaned and then tried again until he stood on shaky legs. “Please…” He gasped and Magnus rolled his hands into fists to prevent his body from lashing out and hurting Alec again, his nails dug into his skin drawing blood from his palms, trying to fight against the urge to hurt him with all his strength.

“How did you find me?” Magnus spat; the shock still visible on his face.

“I wasn’t…I was here to…I couldn’t get back to our room, the memories were too painful…I came here…it’s my home. I didn’t…I didn’t expect you to be here too.” He stuttered, his eyes growing wide, like he was just now realising he had found Magnus…just like that, in their loft. He had a chance to talk to him. “Please, Magnus listen to me, let us talk.” Alec pleaded.

“What?” Magnus said to himself as he caught on what Alec had said. His home? Was this…no this couldn’t be…Magnus mouth went slack as the images again flooded his mind, the black clothes in the cupboard, the second toothbrush and bath robe in the bathroom, the writing on the boxes in the fridge, the note to him, the black boots by the door, the stele on the desk, the mints on the nightstand. He had registered all these things but wasn’t able to connect the dots. Maybe he didn’t want to. Fuck. This was…their apartment.

He blinked his eyes rapidly, not wanting to lose it again in front of Alec and cry. He fought his emotions down. “You had enough chances to talk Alec.” Alec felt the words, they pained more than the magic before. “I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t want to see you.” The words came out dry and cold and Alec felt visibly sick.

“I am so sorry I hurt you, I would take it all back if I could, I would do anything. I would tell you right away, but I can’t take it back.” He sounded desperate.

“You looked me straight in the eyes and lied.” Alec flinched again, like some blizzard struck him, Magnus noticed he occasionally did that. “You talked to me about trust…about honesty.” Magnus gulped and blinked his eyes to have the tears disappear. “I trusted you Alec, I was honest to you and you betrayed me, every fucking day. You-” he stopped as a sob took over his speech.

“I bended…the truth.” Alec rose his hands, palms towards Magnus, trying to calm him somehow. “I kept things from you, which is just as bad but…” He gasped. “I am not trying to make excuses, I know what I did was wrong, I should have been honest with you from the beginning. But I was told not to and I…urgh Magnus…what I said to you and my feelings for you were all real. I did it to protect you-“

“Stop this bullshit Alec! You know it’s not true! You did it because you wanted to be near me, because you were used to being near me. I-“ He stopped and looked pale all of a sudden as he let his eyes wander around.

“The first time we kissed…” He whispered and blinked his eyes rapidly; his fingers touched his lips as he stared into the void. “It wasn’t the first time you kissed me.” He didn’t look at Alec, it looked like he talked to himself as it dawned on him. “When I touched you, when I sucked you, when I fucked you…” His voice grew louder with every word. “It was never a first for you.” His face went paler by the second, his eyes going wider, his heart pounding against his chest as memories hit him.

\---------

He wanted to have sex with him? They had just begun to make out, they weren’t even…what were they even? They had just kissed a day ago and here he was asking for sex? Magnus was overwhelmed enough by the thought to sleep with him in one bed and maybe make out, but this. Was Alec always so quick to do it? With how many people did he sleep already? The thoughts rushed across his mind, coming from every side of it, thousands of questions.

“Do you enjoy this? Blowjobs I mean.” - “I enjoy doing it to you. I have never done it to anyone else.” - “That-That was your first? What? How? Are you kidding me? How is that possible. You are a century old and you have had others, I mean I know you have.”

Magnus leant in again and nosed Alec’s face up before giving him a soft kiss, he could feel the tremble of Alec’s lips. “Don’t be nervous, I won’t bite you.” Alec laughed quietly. - “I know. I just don’t want to fuck this up. For you.”

“You make it sound like my dick is 3 feet long…I know it’s big, but- it fits.” - “And you know that how?” - “I just know it. We fit.”

“I’ve been a virgin myself not too long ago, I am not that experienced sex god you might think I am; I just learned a lot, I’m an eager learner and I want to share it with you. I know how you feel Magnus. I do. It can be frightening, I was frightened too, but I wanted it, I knew deep inside that I wanted it, that I was ready and that I trusted my partner to do the right thing.”

“You are so tight.” - “This shouldn’t be a surprise for you. Nothing’s ever been in there.” - “Yeah right, I know, it’s- it’s amazing. I mean, it’s…yeah. You feel amazing.”

\---------

“You have touched me before, you have done all those things with me, you have-“ He looked sick and then looked up and focused on Alec now. “You have already fucked me.” He whispered and then backed off, almost stumbling over the carpet, trying to get away.

His throat began to clench, his stomach turning as all the images rushed to his mind with force, he has already fucked him before, he was inside him, ‘we fit’ Alec’s words played in his head. His body began to shake so hard he could barely stand, all this time, when Magnus had a hard time trusting him, opening up, Alec played with him, used him for his own pleasure, made him believe it was just as special to him, took advantage of him and his inexperience and he made it so fucking obvious. Oh god.

Magnus backed off even more, until his back hit the pillar. He felt so used, so uncomfortable. Would he have done all those things, all his first times with Alec if he knew that it wasn’t the first for Alec? Did Alec keep it from him to experience it with him? To be his first? Did he secretly laugh about him and his inexperience when they were apart and that his plan just worked out as he wanted?

Alec didn’t move an inch as he saw the horror unravel before his eyes, his clear mind quickly realising where Magnus mind was going with his line of thoughts, he saw the frightened look on his face, the hurt in his watery eyes.

“No, Magnus, No! By the angel, it’s not like that!” Alec rushed and took a few steps forward only to see Magnus flinch and turn around to get away even more. Alec stopped as he painfully realised, he was frightening Magnus. “Yes, I know your body technically and yes, we…we have done things, well your old self and me, but you are new to me just as much as I am to you, it felt completely new to me Magnus.”

“Of course, it felt fucking new to you, because you were my first.” Magnus spat from his safe distance behind the pillar. “Alec if you fucking lie to me now, I will kill you.” Alec straightened, his body tense. “Did you not tell me about this to use me? To be my first, to play with me because of some sick fantasy?” Magnus voice sounded vulnerable this time. No anger in it.

“No, oh god Magnus, no…no! I never played with you or your feelings, please believe me. I would never do that to you. God. You told me that I am your first when we were already in it, I didn’t know and I didn’t care that you are inexperienced. I wasn’t-“ Alec shook his head frantically. “Yes, I enjoyed the thought to be your first boyfriend after you told me, but not because of the sex or anything but because of…you. Magnus you have to believe me, please, please believe me. It was never my intention to use you. I did those things with you because-…” he stopped and looked around desperately.

Magnus swallowed the lump down that had formed in his throat. The initial panic slowly subsiding. He wanted to believe Alec, he really wanted to, his heart yearned for him and he hated that it did, he practically lied for months, kept him in the dark ‘to protect him’, made him do things with him. But somehow, he felt that Alec was speaking the truth, that he also had before, that Alec really felt something for him, but he couldn’t trust his senses right now, he couldn’t be naïve again.

“Magnus, I love you. I have always loved you.” Alec gasped and rushed, knowing this was probably his last chance, that he would probably throw more magic his way or throw him out or leave. Magnus felt his heart throb at the confession, his mouth falling slack, he had always thought he loved him, felt he did, wanted to hear him say it and he felt the urge to say it back right away. His belly fluttered and he grimaced, shaking his head. He didn’t want to hear this right now, to feel this. It wasn’t true.

“You love your fiancé, not me.” Magnus tone was bitter…and hurt. And it was the truth. “Get out.” Magnus choked out, feeling a shiver run down his spine at his own words and the way Alec’s body flinched. He snapped his fingers causing the main door to open silently. He couldn’t be near Alec right now, he couldn’t trust him, couldn’t trust himself, his emotions, his magic. Alec took a few shaky breaths and opened and closed his mouth and then turned to leave, limping to the door, he stopped in the threshold and looked back to Magnus, who rose his eyes to the Shadowhunter slowly.

“I love you.” Alec whispered and then lowered his head, before he left the apartment. Magnus exhaled, a loud gasp leaving his lips as he slithered down the pillar.

Magnus opened his eyes, quickly realising he had again fallen asleep in the living room, it was like his body needed sleep, just wanted to get away, he felt so tired. He snapped his fingers to have his headache disappear, it was a constant in his life now, the pain never really went away. He looked aside at the open bedroom door and then back at the main door, remembering what had happened before. He sat back with a sigh.

He didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t think straight. Seeing Alec again was just too much. Too soon. He didn’t expect to see him again any time soon and Alec said that he loved him…Shit. Catarina had- He flinched as he heard the door opening and then looked back at it from his spot on the floor, seeing Catarina enter the apartment with slumped shoulders, she looked exhausted. Magnus got up from the ground and rushed to his friend, but not to hug her.

“You said I was safe here! You said nobody could enter!” He shouted and Catarina gulped.

“What…I…yes.” She stammered and fidgeted.

“Well guess who just came by. So much to that.”

“I don’t understand…you…Alec?” She asked with a furrowed brow.

“Yes, Alec! Basically, the person I didn’t want to see the most just stood in my apartment!” Catarina gasped and then exhaled slowly.

“Shit…of course, it’s his apartment, your wards don’t exclude him…I forgot…”

“You forgot?!” Magnus snapped. “You…forgot?!” Catarina reached forward and took his arms in her hands, trying to soothe him but he flinched away.

“I’m so sorry Magnus…wait, what happened? You have been crying again, what did he do?” Magnus turned away, standing sideways to her and inhaled shakily.

“He didn’t do anything…he wanted to talk.” His voice was calmer now. “He said that he loves me…” Catarina inhaled sharply. “I don’t know what to think…what to feel. It’s…too much.” Catarina watched him carefully. “Why do I still care about him Catarina? How can I still feel these things for him after what he did?” he looked up at the ceiling and Catarina stroked his arm soothingly.

“Because you love him.” Magnus felt like someone punched him in the stomach. Catarina’s words were calm and came out as a fact, without much emotion, like it wouldn’t be a big deal, but it was a big deal. Because it was the truth. He still loved him, more than he wanted to admit. More than he should.

Magnus lowered his eyes to the ground and then to her before his eyes suddenly widened. “I attacked him.”

“You attacked him?” She repeated a little startled.

“I…shot him with my magic…he- he was bleeding.” Magnus said as if he just realised what he had done, the shock was visible on his face.

“I’m sure you didn’t mean to Magnus-“

“Yes. Yes, I did. I wanted to hurt him, like he hurt me. I- I shouldn’t have…I- oh god. Catarina I fucking hurt him with my magic.” Magnus lifted his hands, staring at his open palms horrified, feeling like a monster. He began to tremble, a sob leaving his lips and Catarina immediately swung her arms around Magnus, but Magnus backed off again, he felt sick all over again, he rushed past her and Catarina ran after him.

“Magnus! Stop!” She yelled as she rushed down the stairs and stumbled outside, looking from left to right with fear in her eyes. He was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dunnnnn...he is gone. Wonder where he is going...or who finds him? This was a little soon for Magnus it seems, seeing Alec again overwhelmed him and he...attacked him, he's not at fault right? He couldn't control it, which is understandable don't you think? 😶 And Alec said the three magic words...did he say them too late? Does Magnus believe him? Should he? He definitly wants to and still loves him, you can see it clearly, urgh the pain. Aren't Jace and Izzy the best siblings ever? 🤧 Should Alec feel guilty for what he did or is he too hard on himself? Oh and Magnus is exploring his loft, noticing some of his old stuff, isn't that beautiful? Maybe it makes him feel at home, somehow. Tell me your thoughts, you know I read and reply to all of them as usual! I appreciate your feedback a lot! Thanks for the kudos and comments on the last one 😘 This was the last real painful chapter, it gets better! I promise.
> 
> \---
> 
> Now the day bleeds into nightfall  
And you're not here to get me through it all  
I let my guard down  
And then you pulled the rug  
I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved


	51. Chapter 51

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I didn’t mean to do that.”
> 
> “He deserved it.” He repeated and Magnus tensed, holding the cup tightly. He wasn’t sure if he deserved it, not anymore, what Alec had told him…it seemed genuine and despite everything he still fucking loved him and felt protective.
> 
> “Where did he go?”
> 
> “Why do you care Magnus?” Magnus opened and closed his mouth a few times and then sighed. How should he explain this? He didn’t really know himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://ibb.co/xhDYqpb)   


Magnus dashed down the streets as fast as possible, panting heavily, the cold air stung in his lungs, he heard his heartbeat fast and loud in his ears, he sometimes ran into people but didn’t even quite notice, he didn’t know where he was heading he just needed to get away, somewhere. The memories kept playing in his head and he tried to get rid of them, shaking his head as he ran, the tears spilling from his cold cheeks.

He tried to run from it all, his situation, his feelings, his thoughts, his pain. But it didn’t work. He fell back to the ground from the impact of running into someone and groaned loudly as he hit the ground, realising for the first time how fucking cold it was, he wasn’t even wearing a jacket. A hand suddenly appeared in his sight and he looked up, seeing a very familiar face.

“I heard about what happened.” Raphael whispered. He hated how he loved to see him, any face he knew, one of his friends, why did he need that damn comfort. He took his hand and was pulled up to stand. Raphael looked at his pale hands and then his face. “Come with me.” Magnus didn’t know why, but he followed him, like his feet had a mind on its own until they sat back on the red couch inside the Dumort. A blanket around his shoulders and a hot tea in his hands. He had a fucking déjà vu.

“I thought I got used to you appearing out of nowhere and here I am, still surprised. How did you know where I was?”

“Catarina told me where you are. I watched the loft and saw you run away, I’m a vampire it wasn’t hard for me to follow your marathon through the city.”

“You are so creepy Raphael.” Magnus muttered, his brows furrowed, slightly hiding behind his teacup.

“Thanks.” Magnus grimaced and then sipped on his tea. “I told you, I care about you…I just wanted to make sure you are alright. I didn’t like what the Shadowhunters did, especially the Lightwood boy…I tried to tell you but…it wasn’t mine to tell. I warned you to stay away from him and did my best to stay away from you too to not mess with your future.”

“Thanks a lot. You could have been a little bit more specific. Like…hey Magnus, your boyfriend is lying to you, he is engaged and hey you are in your own fucking future, how about that?”

“Communication is not my strong suit.”

“I hate you.”

“I know.”

“Stop that!”

“What?”

“This!” Magnus gestured towards his general direction and both silenced. Magnus drank his tea and they kept quiet for what felt like an hour, before he lowered his cup and leant back. “How do you know me? I mean…my future self.” Magnus asked, breaking the silence.

“You took me in when I was young, helped me understand the downworld when I was turned. You are like…a father to me.” Magnus rose his eyebrows, feeling offended.

“A father?! Me? You?”

“Yeah…”

“Aren’t you…older than me?”

“I am actually 30 years younger.” Magnus blinked his eyes a few times.

“Then why do you dress and speak like an old grandpa?”

“Why do you act like a child?”

“You don’t speak to your father like that.” Magnus squinted his eyes while Raphael rolled his’. “Now tell me about my life…I mean…my life here. What do I do…” He suddenly had so many questions…about himself, about his future self, about his life about…everything.

“I shouldn’t…I don’t want to-“

“Raphael.” Magnus scolded, straightening himself and Raphael sighed, wetting his lips to speak and Magnus felt a hint of pride as he realised, he was actually listening to him, this was probably how their relationship worked.

“You are the High Warlock of Brooklyn, the most powerful of all. You already saw your loft. You spent your time serving clients with potions, that is what you are perfect at and you love it with a passion. You have more money than you can count, not that you actually needed any of it. You own a club, Pandemonium-“

“Stop right there.” Magnus lifted a finger. “I what?!” Magnus gasped, leaning forward. “I own Pandemonium?”

“Yeah.” Magnus stared at him and then looked aside, trying to comprehend what he just heard.

“I own a club…I have been there, you know! With Simon and- it’s…it’s mine?”

“Yeah.” Raphael repeated.

“What do I do? Do I have to…oh my god I neglected my club, it will go to ruins because of me, I am ruining my future! I have to-“ Magnus suddenly tensed up and Raphael put his hand on his thigh.

“Hey Magnus…it’s okay. I’ve been taking care of it since I knew what happened to you, I go there every day to check on it ever since and my people run it.” Magnus’ face softened as he looked back at Raphael with both surprise and fondness.

“You did?” he gasped and Raphael nodded with a smile. Magnus rushed into his arms and pulled him in tightly until Raphael groaned, but then embraced him back. “Thank you…”

“No problem Magnus…” He gasped and patted his back.

“Some things never change, hm?” Magnus whispered as he realised, he always ended up hugging Raphael. This felt good…this felt right. He leant back and then clasped his fingers on his lap. “I am powerful huh? My future sounds quite…okay.”

“Yeah most is…there are things I wish you could maybe get around though, like Camille.”

“Camille?”

“Yeah she, she is your ex…” Magnus eyes widened again.

“The Camille I met in the club the other day?! She…oh wow. She was hot.”

“Magnus.”

“What?”

“No.” Magnus shrugged. He still had a lot of questions and for the first time in what felt like ages, his headache was gone, he felt calm. Raphael had a soothing presence. He eyed the Vampire intently, taking in every feature of his face and body, like he had never done before. If he was a father figure to this guy, he must have done something right, Raphael was, despite being a total creep, actually very caring and intelligent. His mind shifted back to Alec, as it always did.

“Did you see him?”

“Who?”

“Alec…”

“You mean the limping Shadowhunter that left the loft soon after he got there? He got what he deserved. He can be happy I am a decent person and didn’t attack him too right then and there.” Magnus lip quirked up for a second, having someone be on his side and agree, want to protect him made him feel warm and fuzzy but- he also didn’t like the thought of someone hurting Alec.

“I didn’t mean to do that.”

“He deserved it.” He repeated and Magnus tensed, holding the cup tightly. He wasn’t sure if he deserved it, not anymore, what Alec had told him…it seemed genuine and despite everything he still fucking loved him and felt protective.

“Where did he go?”

“Why do you care Magnus?” Magnus opened and closed his mouth a few times and then sighed. How should he explain this? He didn’t really know himself.

“I think I can go back now…” Magnus said after a few minutes of silence. He got up and folded the blanket neatly before heading for the door, feeling a little lighter than before, before he stopped and turned around. “Eh…I don’t know where I live.” Raphael got up with a snort and then followed him, taking him back to his home.

“If you ever need anything…give me a call, okay?” He patted Magnus shoulder and then left. 

Magnus walked up the stairs to his apartment. His apartment, right in the middle of New York. This was still weird. He fingered the keys in his hands that Catarina had given him before and walked one step after the other, slow and completely in thoughts. He felt his stomach growl and realised he hadn’t eaten in…days? It felt like weeks. He hasn’t been hungry before, he couldn’t eat when his mind was in pain but now, he felt all the force of his empty stomach rush back, it really hurt.

He stroked his mid as he went to his door and opened it, closing it behind himself. There he was again, his loft. His very own loft. He dropped his shoulders and then tilted his head aside as his eyes met Alec’s boots near the door, he turned around and then kicked them away like a sulking kid. He picked them off the floor and put them back next to the door before snapping his fingers, reinforcing his wards, now excluding both Alec and Catarina. Yes, he loved her but he needed time to himself.

He went back to the kitchen to see if he oversaw something, he opened one of the higher doors and saw a blue bowl, he stretched his body to reach it, leaning on the counter while doing so but only stroked the bowl with his fingertips. “For fuck’s sake.” Magnus groaned and then walked around the counter to grab a stool and dragged it in front of the counter, he climbed it and then looked into the bowl as his eyes widened, seeing all kind of mouth watering sweets and candies in it. The sorts Alec used to buy.

That little bugger must have hidden them there knowing Magnus couldn’t reach them. Magnus snatched the bowl and climbed down, making his way back to the living room and dropping on the couch, his legs below his body, he began to eat one candy bar after the other, a whole bag of gummy bears, a package of chocolate and half the tube of chips before he groaned in pain, his stomach twisting and turning inside his belly. Maybe there was a reason Alec was hiding these after all. Why the hell did he eat so much? He felt sick.

He flinched the moment he heard the doorbell ring. “You’ve got to be kidding me!” Magnus slid off the couch and crouched towards the door like an old man, feeling like his insides were ripped apart. He opened the door a gap and gasped as he saw Clary in front of it. Her big green eyes shimmering, her chin quivering.

“Clary?” Magnus whispered, feeling his heart slam against his ribcage. He averted his eyes to the ground and was about to close the door again.

“Magnus please!” Magnus felt his heart clench all over again. He pressed his jaw together tightly, not really knowing what to say, what to do. He felt the impulse to open the door and rush into her arms, he had missed her, missed talking to her, but she was part of this, it all and he didn’t know…didn’t know whether to trust her. He left the door open and then walked back into the loft, stopping on one of the huge colourful carpets, he heard the door close behind him and slow steps. “I am so sorry Magnus…” Clary whispered and Magnus hated the sound of her broken voice, hated to hear her suffer. He turned around slowly, his face guarded.

“I am sorry for what I did to you…and for keeping it from you, I- I didn’t want to make things complicated between the two of you, it was Alec’s job to tell you…I told him so, but- he was too afraid and I- I understand it but…” A tear rolled down her cheek as she tried to explain in a very messy way. “Magnus you mean so much to me. More than I would have ever imagined, you became like…my best friend within the past months.” She lifted her arm to touch him but her hand only hovered over his arm.

“Clary…I-“ He shook his head and then blinked his eyes, trying to collect himself. Her face trembled as she stepped closer and they stood right in front of each other. His chin began to tremble, the tears forming on the edges of his eyes. “You are my best friend too…” Magnus whispered and Clary gasped loudly, relieved, shocked, surprised, she clutched her hand to her chest and Magnus gulped down the frog that had formed in his throat. He didn’t know what it was but something pulled on him so strong it vibrated below is skin, like a magnet drawing him closer to her, maybe the loneliness he felt was part of it.

They fell into each other’s arms forcefully and grabbed each other like they didn’t meet in years, it felt amazingly like coming home, like that is where he belonged, the buzz below his skin stopped and he smelled Clary’s sweet shampoo that he had missed so much, she shivered in his arms and both cried together, not meaning to let go again.

He felt it, he felt it in every cell of his body, that Clary loved him just as much as he did love her, that was no lie, that was no play, she couldn’t play this. It felt real and maybe he was naïve again but he felt that he could trust her, that she wanted and would have told him if she could but he understood why she didn’t do it, he got her explanation, she didn’t want to ruin things between them and she already was on the bad side with Alec. Maybe she should have told him anyways and he should be angry but he just couldn’t. He felt exhausted, in pain and lonely and he needed her. Needed her right in his arms.

She leant back after a while and brushed his wet cheeks while a laugh bubbled up her throat, she looked relieved and utterly happy and Magnus did the same and held her jaw before pressing his forehead against Clary’s. He had fucking missed this…her. He had spent so much time with her, she was like his sister and best friend all in one, the one he had trusted the most, next to Alec and he desperately needed her comfort, to talk to her like he had always done in the past when he had a problem. The talk with Raphael was nice, but…he couldn’t talk completely open with him, he trusted him for an odd reason but they weren’t that close to talk about feelings and intimate things and he needed to talk to someone about this situation, about Alec.

Clary looked down and chuckled before she wiped her own eyes with her arm as there was a loud growl. She looked down slightly alarmed, eyeing his belly and then the nearly empty bowl behind him on the couch, the empty packages of candy all around the table, floor and sofa.

“Did you eat all of that?” She laughed, though the former cry was still audible in her voice and on her face.

“I made a mistake.” She snorted, her face lighting up even more.

“I think it was worth it, was it not?” Magnus grimaced, swaying his head from one side to the other, pondering.

“I’m not sure yet. I’m feeling weird.” Magnus pressed his palm against his stomach. “Oh, do you want something?” He offered. Clary shook her head with a smile. “I’m sorry, I don’t have anything else, my fridge is empty…” He said a little ashamed, feeling like the worst host ever. Well, this was all very new, people probably would understand if he didn’t go grocery shopping to stock up his kitchen the first day he got here. But…he needed to do that soon.

“I know a place that has good pizza, if you want some?” Magnus rose his eyebrows in question and before Clary could answer he snapped his fingers, conjuring up a pizza from a place he knew near by that he had visited with Simon once. Clary sat down on the ground in front of the pizza and Magnus sat down on the opposite side and watched her eat, a little smile on his own lips.

“Magnus…I never wanted to hurt you, I hope you know that…” Clary said after a while and Magnus gave her a short look before nodding.

“I know that.”

“The old you…and I, we got along pretty good and he…you saw me grow up, you have always been there for me even before I knew you, I will be forever grateful to your future self, but we…you and me-“ She gestured between the two of them. “This is new…we can speak about everything, we understand each other without saying a word, we have established a friendship I never had with the old you, an intimate and open and wonderful one that I never want to miss ever again.”

Magnus watched her with wet eyes, his expression soft.

“Watching you break down in the ops center was definitely in the top 3 of the most painful things I ever witnessed and I saw Jace die once.” Magnus parted his lips in confusion but also love for her. “It felt like someone was hurting a part of me, I felt it, your pain. The time after that was horrible, I wanted to talk to you so badly, to comfort you.” Magnus lowered his face, feeling overwhelmed. “Magnus, I am sorry for my mistake, that I brought you into this mess but…I am happy that I got to meet you…you are amazing.”

“You are not so bad either.” Magnus chuckled as he looked back up and Clary laughed her bright smile.

“I missed seeing you smile.”

“Clary this…it’s all very new and…much at the moment.” He said with a sigh, his smile leaving quickly.

“I understand, completely…what can I do?”

“Maybe get off my foot.”

“Oh shit.” Clary gasped and then sat aside. “I thought it was some pillow. Why didn’t you say anything?!” Magnus shrugged with a shy smile as he pulled his foot back and below himself that prickled and tingled.

“I liked having you near I guess and you are not really heavy.”

“Oh Magnus…” She gasped and then knelt her way towards him around the table before throwing herself against him, he caught her and both hugged again, deeply, lovingly. “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too.” He whispered back. “Ehm…Alec.” He began and Clary sat back, sitting on her calves, her hands on her thighs. “He…is he…does he too…” He stuttered, a little blush on his cheeks.

“Yes Magnus! He misses you and he loves you with all his heart.” Clary said seriously, clutching her hands to her chest. “You…this version of you.”

“I would like to believe that…” He whispered. “but I- I don’t know if I can trust my senses, my judgement, I believed him before and it- he lied to me.”

“Yes, because he had to…he didn’t like it Magnus, I know he didn’t. You know we don’t get along so well, but I know that there is no denying Alec’s love for you, that he would do everything for you, that you are all that is on his mind…always.”

“How do I know that it’s not the love for his fiancé but…for me that he feels? How does he know?”

“Magnus…you and your older self, you might be the same man, you are very alike but you are also very different. Alec tried to stay away from you, keep a distance emotionally but he couldn’t help but fall in love with you all over again, you drew him in, you and not your older self. It was all you. Jace told me all about it, because he felt it, felt Alec’s feelings grow day by day.”

Magnus perked up at that with a little grimace, Jace felt it all? Now that was awkward. But then again, if he felt it through their bond it was kind of a proof of the truthfulness of Alec’s feelings. Not only kind of, it was the proof, otherwise he wouldn’t have felt a thing.

Magnus had thought about it for a while, that if he had known the truth from the beginning, that he probably would have fallen for him anyways. He had felt that pull towards him long before, from the first day he saw him, even if he couldn’t really sort his feelings out back then, even if he didn’t really notice it. “I fell in love with him too…”

“I know…” she gasped, her eyes sparkling.

“I miss him.” She nodded. “And I hate him.” He pouted.

She sighed. It was good to let it all out. A comforting silence settled over them as Clary reached forward and brushed Magnus’ hair off his forehead.

“He came by yesterday.”

“I know…” Magnus widened his eyes.

“You know?”

“Well, he came into the Institute limping after he went to the loft, we kind of figured what happened, we had to force him to use an Iratze, he didn’t want to, he wanted to feel the pain because he said he deserved it…” Clary said and Magnus felt something sting inside his chest. Deserved it…that is what Raphael had said. “He told us that you are here, he didn’t tell us much more than that.”

“I attacked him…” Magnus whispered and Clary nodded slowly.

“It’s okay…it’s okay to snap after something like this…I get it and between you and me I would have probably done the same.”

“That is not ‘snapping’ Clary, snapping is when you bitch at someone, not attack them with dark magic and actually hurt them when they trust you not to. I shouldn’t have…I feel horrible about this.” Magnus said before another painful sob rocked through his body. “I hurt my own boyfriend.”

Both inhaled sharply as the words left his lips, staring at each other with wide eyes. He swung his head back and stared up at the ceiling, trying to keep his tears at bay before he reached for the table and pushed himself to his feet and turned to rush for the balcony, Clary followed him immediately and watched him kneel in front of the railing, breathing loudly, sounding like he was having another break down.

Magnus felt hands slide along his body and then a warm pressure against his back, a steady breath on his neck as she held him in silence.

What were they to each other now? Were they still boyfriends? Were they ex boyfriends? Were they ever boyfriends? Were they engaged? The thought that Alec wasn’t his boyfriend anymore actually hurt, it hurt badly. It still felt like he was, but Alec was engaged, to…someone else, to his future self, someone he probably wanted back. Someone he probably loved more than him even if he did love him.

Magnus let go and sat down on the balcony floor, Clary’s arms still around him, he held one of her arms gently. “How is he? Is he okay?” He asked to distract himself.

“Yes, the wounds are closed, he is fine. Well as fine as…possible. He locked himself in his office for hours and then went out on a mission, he came back early in the morning and was in the training room when I left.” Magnus inhaled shakily and then exhaled with a long sigh. “Jace is looking out for him, he never left his side since and sat in front of the training room when I left. He feels awful about what happened and that he caused all of this.”

“He shouldn’t. It wasn’t his fault and besides I am grateful he did…it’s out now and that’s good. Who knows if Alec would have ever told me…”

“He wanted to…we actually talked about it in the forest right before…I felt that he wanted to.” Magnus sighed again and let his head drop. Would it have made a difference if Alec had told him that day, before Jace did? Would he have freaked less? Probably not. He would have probably already attacked him right then and there without anyone near to stop him. But still, it would have been slightly better to hear it from Alec himself, that he decided to tell him.

“Maybe.” Magnus gasped. “Can you stay the night? I kind of…don’t want to be alone.” Clary nodded immediately.

“Of course, yes!” She almost beamed, happy she can be of help and Magnus smiled back at her.

“Thanks for being here.”

“Always Magnus…always.” She gasped and they then got up to go back inside, the coldness and fresh air had helped, but most of all, Clary had helped. If he could have a Parabatai, Clary would be his, he was sure of this.

Magnus lay in bed a few hours later, the blanket clutched right under his chin, his fingers above his stomach, playing with each other nervously, Clary lay beside him on her side, snoring softly. It was calming to have her here, also to not sleep completely alone, he wasn’t used to do that anymore, he felt restless when he had to sleep alone and very grateful for the fact his exhaustion had just knocked him out the past days. It was weird, sleeping here. Knowing this was their bed. He stared up at the ceiling for another few minutes and then reached aside to his phone, he pulled it closer and unlocked it before staring at the messenger.

He opened it with a sharp intake of breath and then read.

Tears spilled down his cheeks as he read all their messages. Tears of pain, of joy, of love, of longing, of hate, it was…his breath became shaky. His heart screamed for Alec, to be close to him, to smell him, to touch him, to hear his voice, he hated that his heart betrayed him like that. He should be angry, he should make a cut and stay away but he fucking loved him still, so much. And after all these conversations, everything they said, everything Alec said, he felt that Alec loved him too. That he felt the same, that he was just as hurt. At least he wanted to believe that.

Magnus hovered over the letters with his fingers, feeling his heartbeat fast and rough in his chest.

[Magnus – 23:14pm] Hey

[Alexander – 23:16pm] Is this you?

[Magnus – 23:16pm] Yes

[Alexander – 23:18pm] Are you okay? Did something happen?

[Magnus – 23:22pm] No such thing. I just read your messages…

[Alexander – 23:24pm] Can I call you?

Magnus stared at the display and only breathed for what felt like an eternity.

[Alexander – 23:35pm] Magnus?

Alec stood in the middle of the ops center, the phone in hand, staring at the display, waiting for an answer even though he knew there was none to come. He clenched his jaw and just kept on staring as if it would make Magnus suddenly reply. He shoved it back into his pocket and blinked his eyes, looking around unfocused until a hand grabbed him and pulled him aside.

“Are you okay?” Izzy asked with concern in her voice. Alec shook his head, his face turning into a grimace and Izzy quickly pulled him further away and away from any prying eyes as she realised he was going to cry, she stopped in the training room that was empty at this hour and pulled her big brother into a tight embrace as soon as she had closed the door and listened to him sob on her shoulder. She stroked his back while whispering soothing words into his ear. She looked at Alec’s hand on her shoulder, his knuckles bleeding, his skin was covered in sweat, he looked completely wrecked, he had trained for hours to distract himself from the pain.

Both flinched and Alec patted his jeans and then reached inside, before pulling his phone out and unlocking it with shaky hands.

[Magnus – 00:02am] I’m outside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MAGNUS IS OUTSIDE EVERYONE. Alec, run! Get your man. What's your guess about what's to happen? Will they meet, will they talk? Will Magnus listen? Will Alec fuck it up? Will Magnus control his magic? 😶 Magnus and Clary, Biscuit and Caramel are finally reunited! He desperately needs the comfort and his best friend, wasn't that emotional? She was defending Alec and Magnus called him boyfriend...y'all 🤧 And apparently Alec is still hurting a lot, thinking he deserves the pain. Magnus also got new informations on his future self from Raphael. Raphael is a good friend, don't you think? Very protective but good, I enjoy them two. Thanks so much for all the comment and kudos on the last one! 😘 The heavy angst is now over, angst will continue but it's not PAINFUL anymore. At least I think so. Let me know what you think, I love your feedback!


	52. Chapter 52

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec gasped and stumbled a step backwards; Izzy quickly grabbed his arm to steady him. “What is it? What’s wrong?!” He looked up in shock.
> 
> “I gotta go.” He rushed and then walked past her and darted out of the room, almost running down the corridor to the front door and slammed it open, not caring that it was freezing cold, he ran out and down the steps while looking around himself, almost stumbling, searching for Magnus and hoping to god he didn’t get this wrong, hoping he wasn’t fooling with him or- he stopped as something tapped his shoulder, he swung around so quick he felt lightheaded and then inhaled sharply as he saw Magnus right in front of his eyes, his hair down, his cheeks tear stained, he was panting and wore a thin night robe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://ibb.co/sv35tkd)   


Alec gasped and stumbled a step backwards; Izzy quickly grabbed his arm to steady him. “What is it? What’s wrong?!” He looked up in shock.

“I gotta go.” He rushed and then walked past her and darted out of the room, almost running down the corridor to the front door and slammed it open, not caring that it was freezing cold, he ran out and down the steps while looking around himself, almost stumbling, searching for Magnus and hoping to god he didn’t get this wrong, hoping he wasn’t fooling with him or- he stopped as something tapped his shoulder, he swung around so quick he felt lightheaded and then inhaled sharply as he saw Magnus right in front of his eyes, his hair down, his cheeks tear stained, he was panting and wore a thin night robe.

He looked perfect.

“Magnus.” Alec whispered as if making sure he was there. Magnus looked up at him with a mix of despair, anger, hurt but also love and swallowed heavily. Both stared at each other, their breaths shaky and uneven.

“Hey.” The word was nothing more than a gasp.

“Is this you?” Alec asked, repeating their messages, as if he couldn’t believe this was happening.

“Yes.” Magnus let out a puff of air. This felt surreal. A moment of silence followed as both observed the other one in disbelief.

“Were you in bed already?” Alec said as gentle as possible as he gestured to Magnus’ robe, not knowing what to say, he had so much to say but didn’t want to burst it all out the first second.

“Yeah…” Magnus looked down on himself too for a moment. “I was…I- I don’t know what got into me, I ran here before I realised what I was doing.” Magnus chuckled helplessly, a little embarrassed even.

“Me too…” Alec blinked his eyes, knowing very well his cheeks were still wet, his eyes puffy and he tried his best not to cry again. He couldn’t believe this, that he was right there… it seemed as both didn’t even notice the cold around them, neither was wearing a jacket or anything similar to keep warm and it was freezing cold. “Are you okay? Catarina messaged me earlier, saying that you…you were gone and she couldn’t find you.”

Magnus made a little sound in the back of his throat and looked away ashamed. “I needed some time to myself. I was with Raphael.” Alec observed him, his jaw tense. At least Magnus wasn’t alone, even though he didn’t quite like the thought of him seeking comfort from Raphael, or anyone but himself, but he wasn’t in the position to offer it at the moment he understood that, since he was the one who caused this. He shouldn’t be jealous; he should be grateful Magnus had someone to talk to. “Your…your hands-“ Magnus whispered, gesturing towards Alec’s hands.

Alec’s head shot down and he rolled his hands into fists ashamed, trying to hide the blood from his view. “It’s- it’s nothing.” Magnus searched Alec’s eyes for a moment, wanting to say something, to ask something but then let it go.

“Magnus I-…” Alec began and Magnus’ lips parted slowly and Alec forgot what he wanted to say, he was too overwhelmed by Magnus being there, by the way he looked at him. He gulped and shook his head a little, overwhelmed, his face beginning to tremble with the effort to not lose it. “Magnus-“ He began again as he remembered his line of thoughts but was cut off by Magnus rushing forward and grabbing both his cheeks in the blink of an eye, pulling him down before he slammed their lips together forcefully.

Alec hummed in surprise and then sobbed into the kiss; completely losing the last amount of strength he had. Magnus tasted salt on his own lips.

For a moment the time stood still, the wind had stopped, the earth froze in its movements, the noises were gone. Their lips melted together like they had done a thousand times, it felt both familiar and yet completely new, Magnus felt his heart drum against his chest, his fingers trembling on Alec’s cheeks while Alec’s hands held onto his arms. For a moment, everything was perfect, everything clicked back into place, his heart felt whole. He felt complete.

He pulled back slowly almost in slow motion and then watched Alec open his teary eyes, his lips apart, the tears flowing down his flushed cheeks. Alec then grabbed Magnus’ by the neck and pulled him in again desperately without even opening his eyes, their lips met again, trembling against the others, it deepened with every second passing by, they savoured the kiss as if it was the first and last time they would kiss, both put all their love into it and grasped the other one’s clothes and body.

Magnus stopped the kiss to breath even though he missed his lips right away. Fuck. What was he doing here? Why was he here? What had gotten into him? Damn. This felt so right, so good, he had missed him so much it hurt in every part of his body. He needed Alec. Both began to tremble and it was hard to tell if they were overwhelmed or simply freezing as they almost swayed from one foot to the other, holding on for dear life.

“You are cold, do you- do you want to come inside?” Alec asked, trying to search his eyes, afraid he might be overstepping. Yes, Magnus might have kissed him and that was a clear sign he still liked him but…

It took Magnus a moment before he nodded, not knowing if this was the wisest decision but he wasn’t really thinking at the moment, his heart was ruling. He let himself be pulled inside and past everyone without being seen, they sneaked through the familiar corridors until they entered their old room, it felt…like coming home…so very known, this had been his home for months, he felt safe, he felt happy. Alec closed the door behind him and turned around, watching Magnus walk inside and smile widely at Chairman Meow sleeping on the chair. He had missed him too.

Magnus inhaled deeply, closing his eyes for a moment, Alec’s scent filling his nostrils and lungs. God how much he had needed this.

He then turned around and looked up at Alec, Alec took a few steps closer until he stood right in front of him, looking from one eye to the other, there was a tension between them, he couldn’t tell what kind of tension but it was…a tension. Magnus looked up, guarded.

“You hurt me.” He whispered; his voice vulnerable.

“I did.” Alec confirmed right away, deep and regretful.

“You lied to me.”

“I know…” Magnus gulped and looked down for a second, then back up.

“I trusted you.”

“I am ashamed of what I did Magnus…I should have told you; I know that, I was a coward and I didn’t want to lose you. I am so sorry.”

“I know…” Magnus said shaking his head. He understood that now, he got his reasons but that didn’t erase what happened, the betrayal. He looked up at him, this beautiful man, his…his beautiful man? His boyfriend? No…he wasn’t his. He wasn’t his boyfriend. Magnus grimaced and looked back down. He couldn’t do this. He wasn’t thinking straight. Why did he come here? “I have to go…this was a mistake.” Magnus walked past Alec and Alec swung around, holding his arm.

“Please…don’t.” Magnus looked at the hand on his arm and slowly up, meeting Alec’s blurry hazel eyes. He swallowed the lump in his throat down.

“I can’t stay with you right now, I can’t think. This is too much.”

“Let us talk, please.” Alec gasped desperately but Magnus tried to get out of his grip.

“I can’t-“

“I know you feel what I feel Magnus.” The words left Alec’s lips in a rush as he realised Magnus was about to leave, he had to listen, he had to understand.

Magnus stopped trying to get away and stood still. “Even if I did feel something for you, it doesn’t make a difference.”

“Yes, it does!” Alec took another step forward, holding Magnus’ arm firmly. “It does all the difference.”

“I- I should be angry with you and not- I-“ he stuttered feeling too overwhelmed by Alec’s presence and voice and the truth in it.

“Then be angry with me. Yell at me. Hit me.” Magnus looked up with a sigh and some kind of pity.

“Please…I don’t-” he gasped and felt the shame surge through his body for what he did yesterday, that he lashed out, he actually wanted to apologize but there was no right moment.

“Come on, I hurt you. I lied to you all this time.” Magnus averted his eyes and clenched his jaw. “I told you to trust me and betrayed yours every day. I made you do all these things, knowing I was your first when you didn’t know, I have done it all with you before.” Alec’s voice grew louder and Magnus felt like running away or punching him, this hurt. He didn’t want to hear this; he didn’t want to talk about it now. He felt his pulse pick up, his heartbeat increase. The fear to snap rose in his body, he didn’t want to hurt Alec again, but he felt his magic pulse through his body, taking over him.

Magnus looked up with anger and despair, realising Alec was right in front of him, the veins on his throat thick and prominent as he challenged Magnus. “Come on!” Magnus frowned deeply, his whole face darkening. “I used you.”

Magnus watched Alec fly across the room before he realised what he did, he heard him hit the wall with a loud thud and fall down to the ground. Alec groaned and straightened himself again while Magnus watched him in shock, oh no, he did it again. Fuck. He needed to get away from Alec before this escalated, but before he knew it, Alec was by his side again, panting right into his face.

“Is that all you got?”

“Alec stop this! I can’t control…I can’t-” Magnus stepped back to get away from him.

“Come on, I deserve it.” Magnus slammed his hands against Alec’s chest and pushed him back forcefully, desperately, to keep him at distance and safe.

“Stop!” He shouted angrily, even though there was a silent plea in it.

Alec darted forward again and Magnus grabbed him by the arms to stop him, but it was so hard. He didn’t want to hurt him but he felt the anger rise inside him, he felt it consume him. “You know you want this; you know I deserve it.” Alec pressed forward and Magnus tensed his body and had to actually put all his strength into his grip to hold him, he was close to snapping. “I fucked you.” Alec almost spat and Magnus’ eyes widened, flashing, his mouth falling slack.

He tightened his grip on Alec’s arms painfully and swung him around like a doll, slammed his back down to the ground, hovering over him, Alec despite wanting exactly this, feeling like he deserved the punishment and wanted Magnus to lash out at him, to hurt him like he hurt him, instinctively went into Shadowhunter mode and grabbed Magnus by the collar and turned them both around, Magnus gasped loudly as his back hit the floor and then kicked him in the stomach forcefully to get him off.

Magnus used Alec’s shock to roll them over again, they tried to grab the other one’s hands, wrists, anything and fought for dominance, but being equals regarding strength made this impossible. They groaned and yelped as they actually hit each other painfully hard in the act.

Magnus backed off finally and stood up, wiping his cheek that had a cut, Alec got to his feet with a jump and both panted heavily, Magnus eyes were glowing as he darted forward again, anger visible in his features, Alec backed off a few steps but Magnus already grabbed him by the shirt and threw him aside and onto the bed, Alec bounced on it and inhaled sharply and surprised while Magnus shimmied the robe down his shoulders and was over him within a second, he crawled on top of him, straddled him tightly with his thighs and then slammed his lips against Alec’s forcefully, it hurt as their teeth collided, Alec groaned but then grabbed Magnus’ shirt desperately, pulling him closer.

Magnus grabbed both Alec’s wrists and pinned them down above his head with all the strength he had, he felt Alec try to fight against it but it didn’t work, Alec couldn’t move an inch as his lips were abused by Magnus.

He bucked his hips up, using the surprise of Magnus to turn them both around, Magnus landed on his back with Alec between his thighs, Magnus tried to push him off, his hands flying around while Alec bat them down again, Magnus managed to reach for Alec’s neck and pulled him down, their lips slamming back together in a fiery kiss, their lips touched passionately, licking and nibbling on the other one, Alec hissed as Magnus bit into his lip so much that a little blood dropped down his chin. Alec wiped it off with the back of his hand and stared down at Magnus who looked up at him with lust blown eyes, his cat eye pupils wide. Both didn’t quite know what was happening and had trouble to control themselves.

Alec reached for his own back and pulled his shirt off in one swift movement before throwing it aside, he immediately felt Magnus hands on his skin, sliding up to his pecs that he squeezed painfully hard. Alec felt his muscles ripple, goosebumps spreading over his skin. “Fuck.” He gasped at the pain and pleasure and then helped Magnus out of his own shirt, he leant down and bit into Magnus’ firm pec, around his nipple until Magnus groaned loudly, his hand in Alec’s hair, pulling on his strands. He pulled Alec’s head off his chest and leant up to capture his swollen lips again, Magnus felt Alec’s calloused hands wander over his whole chest and stomach, his sides, his back, they were everywhere.

He rocked his hips up against Alec desperately, seeking friction on his now rock-hard cock and Alec thrusted his hips against him just as desperate, it was uncoordinated and completely out of rhythm, but neither of them cared as they moaned against the other one’s lips. Their erections rubbing together through the fabrics. Their breaths were shallow and quick, warm against the skin, the air smelled thick and their groans echoed through the room.

Alec reached for his own pants and fingered them open as quick as possible, but his hands were too shaky to do it swiftly, he wiggled his pants down his hips and kicked them off before he pulled on Magnus’ pyjama pants, his dick springing free and flopping against his stomach, he pulled them off all the way and then straddled Magnus hips. Magnus’ eyes turned into slits as he watched his naked boyfriend, all his glorious self, his hard and flushed cock that was wet with precum on the tip, his moving muscles, his hairy chest, his runes, his strong thighs, he felt the warmth radiate off them and against Magnus’s groin. It was overwhelming.

Magnus eyes locked on Alec’s cock, he rushed forward to sit, causing Alec to fall back slightly while he leant down, being flexible enough and swallowed Alec’s cock as far as possible, hollowing his cheeks he began to suck on the tip hard and Alec moaned shamelessly loud, his body twitching to the sensation as he bucked his hips up and himself into Magnus’ mouth to get deeper inside. Magnus swallowed the bitter precum down, licked the underside of his cock, the thick vein and around his tip before he played with his hole.

“Fuck, Magnus…by the…ang…god.” Alec stuttered, being embarrassingly close to cumming right then and there, he grabbed Magnus’ hair and pulled him off with a loud plop of Magnus’ lips, Magnus grimaced at the pain of being pulled up and Alec released his strong grip before he leant forward causing Magnus to fall back onto the bed.

He felt his head being pushed aside by Alec’s hand on his chin and then a tongue on his throat, licking over his adam’s apple, over his vein, to his jawline that he bit a little too hard, Magnus’ hips stuttered as he groaned, Alec then sucked his earlobe into his hot mouth and breathed through his nose, Magnus felt his warm breath roll down his neck and it made him shiver so hard his eyes rolled into the back of his head.

Alec reached down between their legs and grabbed Magnus’ cock, jerking him in a maddening pace, Magnus’s body tensed up immediately, his fingers digging into Alec’s skin, leaving bruises. Alec then lifted himself to his knees and bent one leg, pressing his right foot against the mattress , hovering his hips over Magnus’ dick that he dragged back to his hole, he lowered himself again and Magnus felt his tip press against Alec’s hot opening, a painful tightness gripping him, Alec hissed, his chest heaving roughly.

“Alexander wait.” Magnus made him stop by pushing against his hips and pulled himself out again, he might be angry with him and this might be what Alec wanted, the pain, but he didn’t want to actually hurt him like this. This was too much. He snapped his fingers until his dick was completely slick, a thick film of lube covering it, he let go off his hip and felt Alec slam down on him immediately, his dick disappeared in his hole, sucking him in, the pleasure washed over him so fast and forcefully that Magnus shouted, his whole muscles tensing up below Alec.

Alec dragged himself up again, it was way too tight, he watched Alec grimace for a second and Magnus snapped his fingers again with the last amount of willpower he could manage right now to slick Alec up too.

Alec let himself drop on him until his ass was flush with Magnus’ hips, the lube providing a perfect glide and both threw their heads back and moaned at the sensation. Alec lifted his other foot to the mattress too and then leant back on his stretched out arms, his body a straight line, his legs spread wide open as he began to fuck himself on Magnus’ dick rough and quick, his ass cheeks slamming down against him loudly. Magnus didn’t know who the fuck he was for a moment, he didn’t know what to do, what to say, he lost all his senses, every cell of his body narrowed down on Alec’s tight walls around his dick, the way he dragged his foreskin back and forth with every thrust of Alec’s hips.

He grabbed the sheets next to his body almost ripping them apart and then opened his eyes, looking down at him, he looked so fucking hot, so spread out, so naked, so strong, so sweaty, so lost in his pleasure. Alec’s hard dick jumped with every thrust, slapping against his own stomach. He grabbed Alec’s hips with one hand and his dick with the other, squeezing it hard before he loosened his grip a little to make Alec slide into his fist.

This felt so fucking good. Being with Alec again, being intimate with Alec again. He was so beautiful, his Alexander…no, not his Alexander. He wasn’t his. He was engaged, he wasn’t his boyfriend, he was with someone else, he was- he…Magnus felt tears sting on the edges of his eyes. He shook his head frantically, shaking his tears away.

He let go off Alec’s dick and grabbed his hips with both his hands, keeping him from moving before he began to thrust upwards in hard and quick motions, pounding into Alec’s hole forcefully, Alec’s whole body twitched, a ripple going through his muscles, loosing the strength in his arms and legs, just taking it, taking it all. His mouth opened wide, his eyes rolling back into his head.

Magnus barely touched the mattress below himself anymore, his back arched to get deeper into Alec. Claiming him, showing him who he belonged to, making him feel good, leaving bruises on his hips.

“Fucking- shit- oh…god…” Alec stammered as his thighs began to tremble hard, his stomach rising and falling before his body tensed, his muscles clenching. “Magn…us.” He hissed through his teeth before his head fell back with a loud shout. Magnus watched as Alec’s body began to twitch above him, warm cum landing all over them while he felt Alec’s hole clench around him rhythmically. He kept on fucking into him completely in trance, in awe, in heat. Magnus would actually be surprised about this if he had any braincell left, he didn’t even know this was possible. Fuck.

Alec lost his balance, falling down on Magnus body with his back and Magnus pulled his own legs under himself and rushed forward to sit, pulling himself out of Alec who groaned at the loss, his body still trembling, he grabbed Alec’s hips again and turned him over in one swift movement so his head was now at the end of the bed, Magnus spread Alec’s legs and thrusted himself back home without a warning.

Alec moaned loudly and pushed his ass up and back against Magnus who fucked into him hard and rough while he leant on his arms next to Alec’s broad back. He leant down and kissed Alec’s sweaty shoulders and down his spine, tasting salt, not moving his upper body as his lower half thrusted into Alec without mercy, rutting into him, skin slapping against skin, causing him to jump up the bed with every move with the force Magnus used on him, like he was trying to prove a point, to stake his claim, chasing his own release.

Magnus pressed one hand down on Alec’s lower back to hold him still as he began to squirm probably from over sensitivity and Magnus threw his head back as his dick was swallowed by his hole over and over again, it hardened even more before he felt his balls tighten.

His hips stuttered as he shot his load into Alec’s tight ass, wave after wave, his whole body shivered, his dick and balls throbbed rhythmically as he grunted out loud, he pushed himself deep into Alec one last time as he marked him from the inside and heard him whimper before he pulled himself out carefully and flopped onto the bed next to Alec, panting hard.

They lay in silence for a minute only catching their breaths as it all came crashing down on him. What just happened? What did they do? Why-...How was this supposed to solve anything? How was this making it better? What did it mean? He shouldn’t have let it escalate like that. He shouldn’t have- Alec wasn’t his…as much as he wanted this, wanted to think it, tried to prove it to Alec…to himself…he wasn’t allowed to call Alec his.

Magnus sat up and swung his legs over the bed, he got up and circled the bed before grabbing his clothes hastily and dressing himself with shaky fingers. He needed to leave. Right now. Alec perked up from the bed and watched him silently.

“You are leaving.” Alec said, it was no surprise in his tone, Magnus halted and then looked at Alec. Alec lifted his face, craning his neck, his long eyelashes fluttering as he blinked up at him with a mixture of hope and sorrow shimmering in his eyes.

“Goodbye Alexander.” Magnus whispered gently and then left before he would say or do something even more stupid.

Magnus walked through the night, back to his loft, slower than he probably should, it was still freezing cold and his whole body was sweaty from their little escalation, but he didn’t feel it, he felt hot and completely overwhelmed and confused. Why did he do that? He just wanted to see him, to talk to him and they ended up fucking like some wild animals that had no control over their senses.

It wasn’t like it was his fault, Alec wasn’t so innocent in this…but, well he started it and he wanted it, damn how he wanted it and how fantastic it was…Magnus shook his head to get the memory out of his brain, this was a mistake, he shouldn’t have gone there. He shouldn’t have fucked him. He shouldn’t have let this gone so far.

Also, he shouldn’t have been so rough on him, he hoped he didn’t hurt him, yeah, he kind of wanted to hurt him but not in that way, he kind of lost control over himself there. Magnus wrapped his arms around himself holding himself tightly as he thought of the fact that he might have hurt him, again. He contemplated to turn back around to check on him for a second before he realised how stupid that was. It wasn’t his business…not anymore.

He put one foot before the other, completely lost in his thoughts until he saw Raphael stand in front of the apartment building, his arms crossed and a scolding expression on his face. Magnus looked at him almost shy as he reached him and then sighed. Raphael looked closely; his eyes narrowed.

“What happened?” Raphael asked, his eyes concerned as he stepped into Magnus’ personal space, his eyes searching Magnus’ body and face.

“Look…I’m…I should get inside, I’m cold and tired, my mind is…I need rest.” Magnus looked truly exhausted, confused and overwhelmed and Raphael nodded. He squinted his eyes as he saw a cut on his cheek, a blue bruise on Magnus’ jawline and another one on his ear, he could also smell dried blood on him, he was trembling. Raphael clenched his jaw as he watched Magnus walk inside to make sure he was safe before he rolled his hands into fists and stormed off.

Magnus walked past him, opened and closed the door before he walked up the few flights of stairs and then stripped off his robe as he entered the bedroom, he sneaked into the bathroom and took a quick shower, he didn’t like washing Alec’s smell away but he stank and he needed the warmth, he stopped the water and quickly went to the closet to find himself some boxers, pants and one of Alec’s big shirts before he went to the bed and snuggled himself under the sheets next to the sleeping Clary as if he had never been gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, ehm, surprise! This might have escalated. Y'all still there? 😂 That was some "hate" sex, uff. Alec pushed him a lot, was he too hard on him? Alec clearly wanted to be "punished", wanted the pain, though things might not have turned out the way he thought, the tension obviously was too much, for both of them. They tried to talk about their problem...for a moment, we all know how good they are at communication 🤭 Was it a good choice for Magnus to go there and...do what he did, or did it make it worse for him? For them? I have a feeling Raphael might make wrong conclusions about the situation...Alec better be prepared. Thank you all for the comments and kudos on the last chapter! I hope you are as happy as me to see Malec bonding again and being together even in an unusual way. It's progress, right? 😁


	53. Chapter 53

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I know what you did.”
> 
> “What I did?” He repeated. “Everyone knows what I did.” Alec said as a matter of fact, there was a hint of regret in his voice.
> 
> “Not that, you stupid boy, what you did yesterday. I saw Magnus when he returned to the loft.”
> 
> “It’s none of your business.” Alec spat, feeling both offended and irritated and Raphael took a step closer with another deep growl.
> 
> “Magnus is my business and when you hurt him you will suffer the consequences.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://ibb.co/hBfHHwc)

Alec opened his eyes to the sight of the bathroom door being upside down, his head hanging down the bed, his neck stretched, he groaned while he pulled his head up wondering how he got there, washing his hands over his face before his eyes widened comically as he saw Raphael stand above him. A sharp pain drummed through his head and body; he could swear he heard bells ring as his sight turned pitch black for a moment. He opened his eyes again and felt his right eye throb painfully before he realised what had happened.

Alec jumped to the side and off the bed in one swift move, feeling lightheaded and grabbed his hurting face, his other arm stretched out towards the vampire, he saw with horrification that he was still naked, but had no chance to do anything about that now. He must have fallen asleep after Magnus left. He watched Raphael cross the distance with a snarl.

“What the fuck!” Alec yelled and then dropped into his Shadowhunter stance, his hands rolled into fists, his arms close to his body, ready to fight, he dodged a blow and then hit Raphael against the temple with his fist, the other one was knocked aside and growled loudly. “Stay where you are!” Alec threatened and circled him while Raphael only hissed and showed his fangs.

“And you stay the fuck away from Magnus! Haven’t you done enough damage already.” Alec flinched for a moment and straightened himself, feeling confusion replace the irritation.

“What?”

“I know what you did.”

“What I did?” He repeated. “Everyone knows what I did.” Alec said as a matter of fact, there was a hint of regret in his voice.

“Not that, you stupid boy, what you did yesterday. I saw Magnus when he returned to the loft.”

“It’s none of your business.” Alec spat, feeling both offended and irritated and Raphael took a step closer with another deep growl.

“Magnus is my business and when you hurt him you will suffer the consequences.”

“I didn’t hurt him- I- we…” Alec stuttered, not really knowing how to explain this or if he actually wanted to.

“I saw the bruises; I smelled the blood.” Raphael looked down Alec’s body that was covered in bruises on his stomach, sides and hips, a few scratch marks covered his chest, those were clearly from Magnus. Raphael’s nostrils flared as he took in another sharp and unmistakable scent on Alec’s body and the bed beside them, he looked at the messy sheets and then back at Alec’s bruises on his hips, before his eyes wandered up to Alec’s eyes. “You disgusting piece of shit.” He spat as he put one and one together and grabbed Alec’s head with one hand throwing him across the room where Alec hit his head against the table and flopped back to the ground.

Alec fingered his way to his bleeding forehead from his spot on the floor and felt completely lightheaded, he didn’t even know what just happened. “If you ever come near him again I will-“ The door flew open as Jace stormed in, his hands on Raphael within seconds as he pulled him away from Alec with all his strength. Alec tried to stand, but saw everything double and stumbled back to the ground.

“Leave! Now!” Jace barked as he pushed Raphael out of the room and right into Izzy’s arms who looked completely startled. “Take him away.” Izzy nodded, doing as she was commanded without questioning it and brought the shouting Raphael away. Jace turned around and rushed to Alec’s side, holding his face between his palms carefully to observe him.

“You alright man? What happened? What did he do to you?” He asked in a rush and then looked down on him. “Why are you fucking naked?” Jace now took in all the bruises covering his body and took a step back confused.

“I don’t know…I woke up and there he was, hitting me and- I-“ He stuttered and hissed while Jace took his stele out and drew an Iratze on Alec’s arm. Alec’s face softened as the wound on his forehead closed. The bruises vanishing from his skin. “He attacked me out of nowhere, I don’t know what got into him. I think he- thinks I hurt Magnus. I mean apart from what happened, physically.”

“Why would he think that?” Jace put his stele back and kept his eyes above belt level.

“Well, I did…but…” Alec sighed. “He came by yesterday, we talked and-”

“What?” Jace asked with a laugh, not because he was happy, well maybe he was but he was more confused. “He came by? That is…that is good is it not? And you talked?” Alec looked up at the ceiling and then back down, his lips parted. There was a light pink blush on his cheeks.

“Yeah…maybe….” Jace looked from one eye to the other, as if waiting for the rest to follow. “We didn’t do much talking actually.” He answered slowly. Jace rose his eyebrows to his hairline.

“What?” He parroted. “Alec, don’t tell me he came by and you two had sex.” Alec made a hissing noise. “I don’t want to be a party pooper but I doubt that is solving anything. Believe me, I tried.”

“I know…” Alec gasped and then walked past him. “It’s not like I planned this, it just happened.” He gestured to the bed and then looked at the floor as memories of how it all started flooded his mind. “We talked and then fought and it…well, escalated.”

“Did you fight with your dicks?”

“Jace…seriously?”

“I am serious. You can’t think with your stele in this situation Alec. This is not how you will get him back.”

“When did you become so-…” he gestured to his face and then shrugged, turning away. “Look, I don’t know…I’m…confused.” Alec rambled, feeling completely out of it still. He was still processing what just happened with Raphael and now they were talking of yesterday night.

“Is that how you got all the bruises? They are from Magnus?” Jace waved into Alec’s general direction and Alec hated the way he was shamelessly staring at every inch of his body, he felt the urge to hide himself, yes this was his brother but he didn’t like being seen by anyone but his…but Magnus.

“Can you please…stop looking.” Alec stuttered, the blush rising on his cheeks. “Give me a moment to get dressed.” Jace nodded and looked up. “Outside.” Jace turned around with a sigh.

“Don’t think I’m letting this go so easily.”

“I know.” Alec groaned and then ushered him out of the room to take a hot shower, he checked his forehead in the mirror after and saw the tiny wound, he stroked it gently and then went back to the room to get dressed.

He felt that familiar sharp pain in his backside, he was way too gone last night, he should have prepared himself, even though Magnus lubed them both up and he was grateful for it, it wasn’t enough, it actually hurt though he didn’t feel it while the were at it and being his usual self, Alec kind of liked the pain as a reminder of how much he fucked up, also a reminder of Magnus. It was all he had.

Jace was right and he hated that he was. This wasn’t solving anything, if any, it made it more complicated than it already was. Did he urge Magnus to do this, did he provoke him into it? He clearly went way too far yesterday, pushed him too far, he wanted Magnus to snap and hurt him, he hoped he’d feel better but to be honest, it didn’t make him feel better. He hated how he lost control over himself like this and didn’t just talk to Magnus like an adult, talk it out, use the moment, the time he was given.

He said goodbye…what did that mean? Was that his last chance to talk to him? Didn’t he want to see him again? But then again, he called him Alexander. That was the first time since their fight. He also said that he still feels something for him in the little time they talked. This meant something, right? It had to. He had to believe in it.

He left the room completely in thoughts and almost jumped when Jace stood in front of him, his arms crossed. “Fucking hell! Jace!”

“What? I said I won’t let this go.”

“So, you decided to stand here like a creep waiting for me?” Jace shrugged as Izzy turned around the corner.

“Okay, someone tell me why I had to escort a furious Raphael out of the Institute?” She looked from one boy to the other. Alec shook his head at Jace, a pleading look in his eyes.

“It was a misunderstanding.” Jace then explained and Alec sighed relieved. He didn’t want the whole Institute to know what happened, yes, Izzy was his sister but she was very protective and he was sure she wouldn’t understand it. He didn’t understand it himself. It was stupid to let it escalate like that instead of talking things through. He didn’t need Izzy to tell him how much he had fucked this up. He already knew.

He needed to explain this to Raphael, explain what actually happened as soon as possible before the Vampires decided to go against the Shadowhunters as well just like the Seelies. This was completely spiralling out of control.

“I need to speak to Raphael. It’s complicated. But it’s okay, I will deal with this.” Alec explained, obviously nervous, his hands on his hips, he looked completely overwhelmed. Izzy studied him but then nodded firmly. She saw that he was hiding something but wouldn’t push him when he was already on edge. Alec gave them a vague smile and then turned to head for his office, Jace was about to follow when Alec held a hand up. “It’s okay, I’m in my office, you can go do the mission downtown.”

“You sure?” Jace asked and Alec nodded, giving him a lopsided and forced smile before heading for his office. Jace and Izzy shared a look before they went to do their duties. He needed to see Raphael and Magnus, make sure he was alright, make sure everything that happened was okay for him, he hoped he didn’t push him too much.

But after all…Magnus was the one starting it. He was the first kissing him, twice, he straddled him, he…he wanted this just as much and it kind of took the edge off, despite it making things even more complicated Alec felt a little more relaxed now even though he would never admit to that. Being one with Magnus had a certain effect on him, but he needed to think with his actual head now and talk about the situation. To both men.

\---

Magnus awoke to the smell of bacon and eggs, he opened his eyes, rubbing the sleep off the edges before he lifted his body to sit, stretching his arms aside until his back cracked. He slumped down again and eyed the empty space next to him before he got off the bed and strolled out of the bedroom and towards the magnificent smell drawing him in, he stopped at the kitchen where Clary was dancing around behind the counter, juggling a pan and plates with a determined expression. Magnus noticed the two plates, the toasts with butter and the bacon on them, feeling his mouth water. Food.

“Good morning?” Magnus murmured and Clary put the pan down, her face lighting up.

“Morning Magnus! How did you sleep? I thought you might be hungry when you got up, I hope you don’t mind, I went grocery shopping.” Magnus shifted his eyes aside seeing a bowl of fruits and bread, bottles of water, the fridge was probably stuffed too.

“Good…I think. You didn’t need to do that Clary.”

“I wanted to.” Clary chirped, she seemed over joyful even though Magnus could tell she was slightly tense, maybe she wasn’t as sure as she tried to be. Maybe she was nervous to step too far. She shoved the scrambled eggs on the plates. “Bon Appetit.” Magnus sat down on the tall stool in front of the counter and ate. A loud humming noise left his throat as he swallowed it down. “Good?” She asked, sitting beside him.

“This is fantastic.” He said with his mouth full and Clary giggled as she watched him stuff his mouth. The tension immediately fell off her shoulders. He didn’t properly eat in what felt like ages. This was fantastic.

“Is that Alec’s shirt?” She suddenly asked and Magnus almost choked, putting the fork down before looking down on himself and back up at Clary slowly. “Are those…bruises? Oh god, Magnus what happened? You didn’t have them yesterday.” Magnus lifted his hand to his own face, confused before it dawned on him. Alec. Last night. The fight. The sex. Fuck. His shoulders slumped as he sighed, lowering his hand. “Did I hurt you in bed? I am an active sleeper sometimes; I am so sorry Magnus!”

Magnus chuckled at her, that she thought she caused those bruises and cuts because she was ‘an active sleeper’ was actually cute, she could never cause these bruises and not without Magnus waking up. To be honest he completely forgot about last night for a moment, it all seemed like a dream. But not anymore…those things actually happened.

“I- I might have visited Alec after you fell asleep.” Clary’s mouth gaped; her eyes wide.

“You did what? Why? How? I mean. Wow. Okay.” Magnus smiled at her sheepishly, a little quirk of the lips. More ashamed than anything else. “Start from the beginning.” Magnus swallowed and then looked up at the ceiling, feeling both warm and embarrassed, this was all too familiar. He slumped down, his palms pressed against the counter, looking determined.

“Okay, so I read his texts in bed and I don’t know what got into me, I- I cried, I replied and the next thing I knew was that I was in front of the Institute in my pyjamas.” Clary’s eyes grew comically, at this point she was nothing more than eyes. “We talked…we…kissed…then he asked me to come inside and well…” I did. Magnus added in his head, literally. Clary didn’t need to know that little fact. Oh god, he kissed him, he actually kissed him, why? Well…the part following wasn’t any better. Clary tensed up next to him, tightening the grip around her fork.

“He did this to you?” Her voice quivered for a second before her gaze turned dark. “I’m going to-“ Magnus quickly grabbed her petite arm that suddenly seemed way thicker and stronger than before, she was clearly ready to fight.

“No…I mean yes, he did but I- I also…we kind of fought.”

“How dare him hit you? What is wrong with him?!” Clary straightened her back, looking like a wild fury that was about to beat some Shadowhunter ass. Magnus shook his head, his lips apart, he rose his hands a little desperate and turned to Clary on his stool.

“No Clary, I started it, I hit him first, I lost control and he…I don’t know…we had a lot of built up tension, I guess. He wasn’t the only one Biscuit it’s alright. I hurt him too.” He said the last words with a little of regret in it. He never meant to lash out at Alec, again. He couldn’t control his temper, his magic, not when it came to Alec, he had unlocked something in him, something that was hard to lock back up. Love. And that love caused him to do irrational things. Clary didn’t seem convinced and clenched her jaws together.

“That is no excuse.” She said stubbornly.

“He was only defending himself, to be honest…it kind of felt good. To let it all out. I don’t think I actually hurt him bad, I at least didn’t feel any pain it was more…I don’t know I can’t explain it. I felt calmer after.” Clary grimaced.

“Men…” She whispered below her breath, more than confused and then took a sip of her fruit tea. Magnus swallowed, looked around a little lost before he opened his mouth again. When he was already at it, he could also let it all out now.

“Imighthavesleptwithhim.” Clary made a startled sound, edging on a choke, the tea spluttering out of her mouth and down her chin. Magnus immediately reached for her back and patted it roughly as she coughed. “You good?”

“You had sex?! After the fight? Or within? Before? Why? I have so many questions.” She put her tea down, the liquid still dripping off her chin as if she didn’t even notice it. Magnus snatched a napkin off the counter and tapped it against her chin to dry it for her.

“After. Well, within kind of actually. As I said, it escalated. Built up tension and all.” He waved his fingers around. “I threw him on the bed.” He shifted his eyes aside, a little proud smirk on his curved lips. Clary returned the smile though she tried to fight it down.

“You bad boy.”

“That I am.” Clary snorted, finally relaxing her shoulders and posture. “It was amazing…a little rough maybe but amazing. I hope he is okay.”

“You hope he is okay?” She parroted with a laugh. “What the hell did you do with him?” Magnus cheeks began to blush, creeping up to the tips of his ears as he looked down with a wide smile.

“Well, he rode me and-“

“Ohhhhh god okay, stop it, please. Lalalala” Clary stuttered and then began to sing to herself, shutting her ears. Magnus pressed his lips together, before he pouted his lips aside. She took her hands off again.

“Is it safe?”

“Yeah.” Clary sighed relieved while Magnus rolled his eyes.

“I- I don’t know what came over us, over me, I just felt that urge to…be close to him. To feel him. To make him…see how much he means to me, see that…he belongs to me.” Magnus said more to himself, in nothing more than a whisper and Clary’s eyes softened.

“What does that mean for the both of you? Are you…together still…again?” She took her cup back into her hands, blowing on it.

“No. I can’t just erase the fact that he is engaged, he still is. He still loves someone else. Even if it’s basically me. It doesn’t mean anything.” Magnus didn’t know if he was telling it to himself or Clary at this point. Of course, it meant something. It meant a lot. He wouldn’t have slept with him if he wouldn’t want him back, he just didn’t know…how. Clary eyed him carefully, intently before she lifted the back of her fingers to his cheek and stroked him gently. Magnus leant into the touch, closing his eyes for a second. She flinched and then pulled out her phone, looking at it.

“It’s Jace, they need me for a mission. Damn it. I gotta go.” Magnus opened his eyes and then nodded.

“It’s okay. I’m good.” Clary put the cup down, hopped off the stool and shoved the phone back into her pocket before she stood next to him, giving him a big and tight hug.

“Call or text me anytime, okay?”

“Go do your job Shadowhunter.” Magnus teased and Clary tilted her head with a smile. “Oh, and Clary…”

“Yeah?” She turned back around after going a few steps towards the door.

“Alec’s riding skills are beyond amazing.” Clary cringed, shaking her head furiously before she rushed out of the apartment, Magnus’ laugh following her through the corridor. He quirked a brow with a smile, feeling slightly proud at his comeback and then turned to snap the mess of their breakfast away before wandering to the living room with a little sway to his hips.

He stopped in his tracks as he stared at the couch in front of him, he circled his hands in the air, orange magic swirling around his fingers before it flashed for a second as Chairman Meow suddenly sat on his sofa, he sat down and licked his paws. Magnus crouched down to him with high and embarrassing sing sang noises before he brushed his fluffy cheeks, Chairman rubbed his head along Magnus’ hands as if he was happy to see him, his body followed until his tail wiggled along his fingers.

“My dear boy, I missed you.” Chairman meowed loudly before dashing down and running across the loft from one corner to the other and Magnus realised that this probably was his home after all. Alec said it was his cat and since Alec lived here. It was probably their cat all along. He would probably wonder where he went…Magnus shrugged his shoulder and then turned to go for the black door that was closed.

He opened it with a snap of his fingers and froze in the threshold as he took the sight in. A big wooden table with shelves stood in the middle, a desk to his right, more shelves to his left, potions, ingredients, books, figures, tools everywhere. Magnus felt his heartbeat increase. He knew these things…all of them, those were his. This room was an exact replica of his room in London. He felt his chin begin to tremble, his feelings completely overwhelming him once more. He took a step closer inside and let his head turn from one side to the other.

He brushed his fingers along the edge of the table feeling the hole in it he knew all too well. He inhaled deeply and then exhaled loud trying to calm his nerves. After the initial positive shock, he realised that there were a lot more things than he owned back then, more ingredients, more books, it was amazing. He went to his desk and sat down. Okay the laptop was new. So was...the picture. He clenched his teeth as his eyes landed on a photo nicely framed in golden metal. It was Magnus laughing and Alec staring at him with pure love in his eyes, at what looked like a dinner.

He brushed his thumb along Alec’s face and then looked at the old Magnus, with his expressive outfit, his spiked up hair, the make up on his face, the rings on his hands, the nailpolish. He looked pretty cool. This was so weird. To see himself, his future self.

Magnus turned to the laptop again and opened it, unlocking it magically, the background was of two hands with engagement rings, one dark and one pale and Magnus swallowed again, before he saw a folder named ‘My heart’. Knowing exactly what this was about, he braced himself and opened it.

He sat there sobbing like a baby after he looked through the whole folder for an hour. All the beautiful pictures of Alec and him at several occasions, every one of them unique and special. He couldn’t believe he had this…he would have this one day…or probably not…well…he had it…right now. He had this, exactly this…right now, with Alec. With his love. His heart.

Alec…Magnus snapped his fingers to have his phone appear in his palm and then lay it on the table, opening the messenger. He leant forward on his hands and stared down at the device, only breathing. What was he going to say? ‘Hey, how ya doing? Thanks for the fuck.’ Magnus grimaced. What was one supposed to say after such a thing? What even was this? A one night stand? No, it wasn’t for Magnus and he knows Alec doesn’t do one night stands. Why did Alec agree to this? Why did he sleep with him? What does it mean to him? God, why hadn’t they just talked?

But saying nothing at all, didn’t seem…the right way. He fucked him and left…Magnus would feel devastated if someone did that to him. It was such a dick move and not even Alec deserved this. No, he had to say something. He was no jerk. He lowered his hands and grabbed the phone, leaning back in the chair. He typed and deleted, retyped and deleted for what felt like ages.

[Magnus – 10:32am] Good morning, did you get some rest?

Magnus hovered his thumb over the send button and furrowed his brow. What if Alec didn’t want to talk to him? What if he thought he was being weird for writing after leaving like this? Urgh. Magnus shut the phone and threw it onto the table with a sigh. He leant forward again and tried to distract himself, opening the laptop again.

His eyes landed on another folder named ‘Pandemonium’ and he gasped. Right, his club. Maybe he should give it a visit. See how things are…would be a nice distraction too. He looked back at the frame, at Alec’s devoted look and at his old self. An idea started to unfold in his head as he watched the picture, he inhaled deeply and then got up.

\---

Alec left his office a few hours later, he entered the weapons room and grabbed his bow, arrows and daggers and then went to dress himself before he left the Institute, heading for the Dumort, unfortunately, but obviously, Raphael didn’t react to his fire messages and he needed to talk to him urgently, he usually wouldn’t do this, as Head of the Institute it was custom to have the Downworlders come to him but this was a difficult situation and also kind of personal.

He knocked on the door, but nothing happened. He knocked again a little louder before a Vampire opened it, a little startled at the sight. “Shadowhunter.” He spat and Alec fought against the urge to roll his eyes, he lifted an annoyed eyebrow though.

“I need to speak to Raphael, is he here?” The Vampire eyed the Shadowhunter carefully and then nodded, opening the door some more, Alec stepped inside and walked down the corridor with determined and long steps. His eyes focused ahead, he heard hissing from all sides, he obviously wasn’t welcome here, but he didn’t care much. He needed to do this. He needed to clear the situation, even if it was naïve.

Alec stopped in the big living room, seeing Raphael’s back from where he sat on the couch, Alec placed his hands behind his back and cleared his throat. Raphael then turned his head, his body following before he got up, his face immediately changing. “You!” He growled and so did the Vampires around, feeling their leader’s anger. “How dare you come here.” Raphael looked at him with disgust.

“Can we talk, alone.” Alec said in his most professional tone and Raphael snorted.

“You can be happy I am not killing you on the spot Shadowhunter. I have no interest to talk to you.” Alec swallowed and looked down for a second, before he lifted his eyes again.

“Please.” He added and Raphael stared at him for a moment before he made a sideways nod, the other Vampires left the room to give them privacy, Raphael had no intention to speak to the Shadowhunter and much less alone, but whatever Alec had to say seemed important.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Raphael happened. And Alec took quite the hit but Jace came to the rescue, the perks of having a Parabatai bond, even though he can't resist to tease his brother. Alec obviously still struggles with what happened and now he has new problems he needs to solve 😪 You think it was a good idea to go to Raphael alone and try to talk this out? Do you understand Raphael's strong reaction? And Magnus and Clary had another of their intimate best friends talks, we love them don't we? 😁 It's the only time Magnus has the courage to speak openly and talk about his insecurities and thoughts. He got his cat back! Yay? And his old "new" office as well as some insight into his "old" life, I think he is up to something, don't you? Do tell me your thoughts, I love them! Thanks for all the comments and kudos on the last one! 😘 Much love!


	54. Chapter 54

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The song changed and Alec stood straight as a rod as he heard the familiar Korean music, he had heard so much the past months. There never was Korean music in here, why? He furrowed his brow as he saw a spotlight behind him, he followed the light and turned around on the spot before he froze completely, his mouth falling slack. Was he…drunk? Was this…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://ibb.co/fNsDhLg)   

> 
> The song that's playing is DDU- DU DDU- DU from Blackpink if you are interested in it.

Alec strode closer towards Raphael, slowly, carefully and stopped in front of him. “I wanted to thank you for being there for Magnus.” Raphael’s eyes twitched for a second. “I know you are a good friend of him and that you would do anything to keep him safe, I appreciate that, I always have.” Alec said, seriously and tense but he meant it. Raphael looked a little taken aback, not having expected this clearly.

“You came here to thank me?”

“Yes. And also…to make you understand that I would never…I never wanted to hurt Magnus, in any way. I am not proud of what I did and I know it was a mistake, I did it to protect him but…I did wrong.” Raphael observed him as if trying to see if he was sincere. “Yesterday, we talked and it escalated…we- we lost control, both, we fought, it was just a lot…for both of us, we didn’t do it intentionally and definitely not to hurt the other and- I am sorry I hit him and I hope he is okay. Raphael I just wanted to let you know that-“

“Did you fuck him?” Alec’s face fell, his lips parted.

“What?”

“You heard me.”

“This is kind of personal.” Alec said gently, but a little uncomfortable.

“It is for me too. Magnus is vulnerable at the moment, if you forced him to-“ Raphael began but Alec quickly lifted his hand, palm towards Raphael.

“I didn’t, I would never.” He quickly assured him. “Yes…we had sex, but we are both adults and kind…of…in a relationship.” He blushed even more. This was so awkward. Talking about his sex life to anyone was awkward, but Raphael was really…the most cringeworthy. “Also, we don’t- I never…’fucked him’.” Alec said putting much emphasis on the last words and regretted them the moment they came out. Raphael’s face showed an emotion for a moment, before it left again, his face softened a little.

“I didn’t know. Thank you…for not taking that away from him.” Alec narrowed his eyes, his lips pursing as he was trying to understand. “He should give his consent to this knowing all facts. I thought you…” Raphael cleared his throat and then nodded. Alec’s face cleared as he understood what Raphael was talking about, Magnus’ ‘virginity’. Both stood there a little awkward, Alec was thrown back to ‘the talk’ he had from Izzy, not his parents, but it didn’t make it less awful. This felt exactly like that, like Raphael was giving him ‘the talk’ regarding his ‘son’. It was weird. More than that.

Even though he didn’t know what to think about the fact that Raphael was concerned about it, was it nice or cringy, he really didn’t know how to feel. But Raphael seemed more content now, less angry with the Shadowhunter and that at least was something good. And he kind of agreed with Raphael…as much as he wanted to sleep with Magnus and be his first it was good it never came to that in the end. Unfortunately, he was right. It would have been wrong. There are boundaries and doing that would have overstepped them, he could undo a lot of things but not that.

“He still loves you; I don’t know why and I don’t know why he ever did but he does and I want him to be happy. I know you love him and that your feelings are true, I can sense that and obviously, you two belong together.” Raphael shrugged and turned around a little. Alec stared at him like he grew a second head. What? What was going on? Was Raphael just replaced without him seeing it? Vampire’s were fast after all. “I will help you.” Raphael added and now Alec finally focused.

“What?” He said again and Raphael furrowed his brow.

“You are pretty slow Lightwood.” Raphael shook his head. “I know he can only be happy if he is with you, so I will help you, if needed. But Alec, if you ever hurt him again, physically or mentally, you are done, you hear me?” Alec snapped his mouth shut that had fallen open at the words. Did he hear this right? Raphael would support him? Them? Why? He thought he hated him. He seriously did.

“Yes. Of course, I won’t.” It felt strangely good to have Raphael’s support, since Raphael and Magnus were so close. It felt like an accolade. He never really liked Raphael to be honest but he knew he could trust him with Magnus and that kind of made him more likeable and obviously Raphael now came to the same conclusion regarding Alec. Something shifted between them, the tension left.

“There’s a group of werewolves causing drama at the Pandemonium for days now. I am heading there now, maybe you could accompany me to settle things, they won’t listen to us Vampires.” Alec nodded right away, that he could do, that he was good at, talking business. He knew this was kind of an offer of peace from Raphael and he would take it, not just as the Head of the Institute to establish a good working environment for everyone but as…himself as a person, getting along with Raphael after all this time wasn’t so bad after all. He would be stupid not to try it.

“Yeah sure. I’ve got time.” Alec straightened, going back into his Shadowhunter mode.

Alec and Raphael headed for the Pandemonium, which wasn’t far from the Durmot. It wasn’t his favourite place, at all, it was loud and full of sweaty bodies. They entered through the backdoor and Alec immediately scrunched his face at the loud music and thick air, the alcohol lingering in it. Raphael showed him the group of werewolves he was talking about, standing in the far end corner of the dance hall, jumping around and obviously snapping at the dancers.

Usually he would send a fire message to Luke, inform him about this and let the Werewolves handle this alone but he enjoyed the distraction right now, he needed something to focus on. He felt the music drum in his body, in his veins, the beat rhythmic and steady as he walked around the dancing crowd trying to keep his distance. A girl with a plate full of shots ran into him, gracefully though, maybe she did it on purpose. “Here, enjoy, it’s on the house.” She said as she shoved one of the green liquids into his hands.

Alec eyed the stuff sceptically and then threw it back his throat, feeling it burn down to his stomach. His face turned into a full grimace and he quickly made it over to the counter and put the empty glass down. He usually wouldn’t just drink anything but this club was making him feel things and not pleasant ones. Maybe that helped.

It didn’t take Alec long to reach the boys and have a talk with them, they rushed out of there in panic, well maybe he was a little dramatic with his threats but sometimes he enjoyed it. With a little smirk he turned back around and made his way back through the hall without touching anything, wanting nothing more than to get out of there as quick as possible. He felt the alcohol rush through his body, heating him up, that stuff was strong. Whatever it was. His body felt lighter, softer, it was weird.

The song changed and Alec stood straight as a rod as he heard the familiar Korean music, he had heard so much the past months. There never was Korean music in here, why? He furrowed his brow as he saw a spotlight behind him, he followed the light and turned around on the spot before he froze completely, his mouth falling slack. Was he…drunk? Was this…

Up on one of the platforms in the middle of the crowd, there he was, Magnus, his fiancé. Hair spiked up, blue on the edges, full make up on, glitter all over, a black shirt that was open to his stomach, showing his shimmering muscles and pecs, several necklaces dangling around his neck, tight black jeans with holes, black elegant boots with metal straps, rings adorning his fingers, his nails painted in a glittery blue, the ears cuffed. He felt sick, he felt…he had trouble to control his breath, his whole body trembled.

What?...It was…Magnus. Completely lost in the music, dancing to the rhythm, the people around him cheering up at him, a few dancing along on the other platforms though everyone seemed to focus on Magnus. How was that possible?

It was as if the world slowed down once more, the music faded into the distance, he didn’t realise he was with masses of people anymore, as he watched Magnus sway his hips, stomp his feet, swing his arms around, the sweat shimmering on his skin, his eyes closed. “Magnus.” He mumbled to himself, feeling his heartbeat increase, drumming against his ribcage. He hasn’t seen him in so long, so awfully long, this felt surreal. What was in that drink? This can’t be true.

Magnus’ shirt swung open with another movement and Alec’s eyes fluttered to the exposed skin instinctively where he could see his navelless stomach. He inhaled sharply as reality struck him hard.

No, this wasn’t his fiancé. This was his boyfriend. This was the young Magnus.

What was Magnus doing here? Why was he dressed like the old one? How did he know what exactly he looked like? His eyes lowered to the other people grabbing his calves, thighs and everything they could reach; Magnus didn’t seem to notice it, Alec felt possessiveness surge through his veins as he watched them grab him everywhere inappropriate like he was some free meat. He didn’t seem to notice it at all, he was obviously drunk.

Alec darted forward, rushing through the bodies to get to him and was stopped by a guy in black that held a hand to his chest, shaking his head, it was a bouncer or bodyguard Alec noticed, obviously not wanting to let him in. “No Shadowhunter business in here.” The tall warlock snarled and Alec sighed, trying to think of something quick.

“I’m not here for business.” The man looked down Alec’s body and back up with a raised eyebrow, Alec followed his eyes, seeing his dark grey and formal button down shirt, his jacket. Fuck. Of course the one time he wasn’t just wearing simple black stuff. He quickly wiggled himself out of his jacket and unbuttoned his shirt before taking it off leaving him completely bare for a moment, he took the black jacket back on leaving it open, exposing most of his upper body and then began to awkwardly move his body with a challenging look.

The guy rose his eyebrows unimpressed but then turned to leave. Okay, maybe the alcohol was getting to his head, he would feel utterly embarrassed about this if he could think straight, but he couldn’t, he actually felt quite good, he was in the middle of a Downworlder club, half naked, dancing, yeah this was great.

Alec danced his way back to the bar, ordering the purest of alcohol he could think of before downing it with a loud hiss, he needed more of that liquid courage, right now, he danced his way back to Magnus and through the masses of people, trying to reach him somehow, he felt hands against his skin occasionally, intentionally or not he didn’t know.

He stopped to dance at one point and looked back, seeing the bouncer send him a glare, he immediately turned around swaying his body again. Shit. Okay, well. This wasn’t so hard. You can do this. He shimmied his shoulders, rocking his body, averting his eyes with a startled expression whenever someone met his eyes, he was so out of his comfort zone, his cringes were cringing. When did that alcohol finally take effect?

He was a few feet away from Magnus now and watched a girl shove her fingers up Magnus inner thigh to his crotch that she brushed lightly with a laugh while he bounced his hip like he was born to do nothing but this and Alec stared at her shocked before he subtle bounced her aside with his back in a dancing movement, not caring that she hit the ground, though she didn’t seem to notice. “Shit. Sorry.” He mumbled not regretfully at all without even looking her way. Okay maybe, the alcohol took effect. He swayed a little, blinking his eyes, his vision became slightly blurry.

He was so near now he could smell Magnus’ sandalwood shampoo and his sweat which was awfully arousing to be honest, he could see him so close, so good, he looked so extremely sexy, he moved like a snake, like his body was a wave, he threw his head back and ran his hands down his body and Alec was about to dissolve on the spot.

“Magnus.” He said in a loud slur but the warlock didn’t respond. “Magnus!” No answer. He touched his thigh and gave it a little squeeze but he only turned and didn’t seem to notice. Shit. He needed to get him down from there, see what’s going on, if he was okay or not drugged or something, he seemed completely out of it. Maybe he had a hundred of this green stuff. Alec turned his head to see the bouncer coming closer with an angry expression, realising he had again stopped dancing.

Alec placed his hand on the platform and then jumped up to Magnus in a desperate attempt to be close to him, get him off there and seem like he was only dancing, he stumbled forward awkwardly and then lifted himself quickly feeling lightheaded for a moment, the alcohol had successfully reached his brain.

Alec’s body hit Magnus’, so close and hot and he looked exactly like his fiancé down to the last stroke of his eyeshadow. Alec cupped Magnus’ narrow hips with his hands and swayed along with him, one leg between Magnus’, moving his body to the music as good as possible to seem like he just wanted this, to dance with Magnus, he heard people cheering and encouraging them on.

“Magnus.” He whispered next to his ear, urging him to open his eyes. Magnus did, though they were completely unfocused, his pupils blown wide. A side of his mouth quirked up, showing his sparkling white teeth. He didn’t seem like he recognized him when he got closer and slotted their crotches together, thrusting himself against Alec, moving his upper body to the music, running his hands up Alec’s naked chest and to his shoulders, before brushing it off his arms, the jacket flew down into the crowd leaving Alec naked. Alec was way too distracted by Magnus and his hands to even notice.

Magnus eyes suddenly focused on Alec’s chest, he blinked his eyes a few times as if he was trying to fight something and then got lost in the music again, his eyes locked on Alec’s, lids half closed as he began to rock against him, Alec gasped with both arousal and confusion and a hint of embarrassment for being naked and getting hard in public, but to be honest he was drowning in Magnus’ eyes, more with every second passing by, his mind shutting out the people around them that now grabbed his legs too.

He was close to Magnus, he held him, he looked at him, he danced with him, Magnus wasn’t running away, wasn’t angry, wasn’t hurt, he looked completely relaxed and…obviously completely drunk. But fuck. Alec felt his body begin to sweat from Magnus’ motions and the spotlight on them as he fell into rhythm with Magnus. His heart pounding against his chest, he felt like he wasn’t completely there, like he wasn’t himself. The strong alcohol flooding his veins.

He pressed his body against Magnus’ as close as possible before he wrapped one hand around him pressing it firm against his back and keeping him close while he circled his hips and went down on Magnus, kissing the middle of his chest where his skin was exposed and tasting the salt on it.

His lips trailed down, kissing down to the dip in his stomach where the navel should be while his hand went down to his ass, he heard Magnus moan above him and buck his hips against Alec, he went back up with a lick of his tongue up to his throat and over his Adam’s apple to his chin and then stopped at the lips, staring at him, silently asking for permission and Magnus smirked widely before their lips collided, their tongues meeting instantly, licking the other one, humming and groaning into the kiss as their hips continued to rock together, building a friction.

Alec felt like he was high on something, maybe it was the air, but he couldn’t think straight anymore, maybe it was just Magnus, he couldn’t stop, neither could Magnus, they grabbed each other, kissed passionately and moaned while their hard dicks rubbed together. He felt his orgasm built, the tingling sensation starting from his balls through his dick and his abdomen and he felt that Magnus was close too, fuck they needed to stop this, now. Stop…yes…stop. Concentrate. On…something.

Alec broke the kiss and cupped Magnus’ cheeks, looking into his eyes to signal him that they had to stop but Magnus was having none of it, too far gone, and stared right into his eyes as he thrusted against him hard and Alec’s eyes began to flutter as he tried to keep them open before his orgasm washed over him forcefully, he threw his head back and Magnus immediately attacked his throat with kisses and licks, Alec’s body spasmed while the fabrics between them became wet and sticky.

When consciousness hit Alec again, he grabbed Magnus’ hips and shoved him away to make him stop, he felt overly sensitive and he didn’t want Magnus to experience the same. He tried to level his breath to normal and swayed from one side to the other, his vision was still off. He shook his head forcefully, again and again to get it clear somehow, then reached for his stele and pointed it to his skin with shaky fingers, drawing an awful Iratze but it worked, his vision suddenly cleared, his mind snapped back to normal and fuck…shame surged through his body immediately. Did he just cum? In the middle of the club? Naked? Alec swallowed, wanting to vanish, but it seems nobody noticed. Thank the angels.

He swung an arm around the Warlock’s backside and lifted him up, Magnus wrapped his legs and arms around Alec tightly and Alec jumped off the stage and walked through the crowd, his eyes meeting a completely irritated Raphael at the door, his mouth slack, looking like he was about to either faint or puke and Alec quickly ducked his head down and dashed out of the club. Okay, maybe someone noticed.

He reached their loft in no time and went up the stairs and opened the doors, kicking it close with his heel, he lay him down on the couch. “Magnus, may I?” He asked even though he knew Magnus didn’t really hear him. He hesitated for a second but then helped him out of his shirt and necklaces, the shoes and pants and then went to their bedroom, picking him a few clothes before dressing him in Alec’s sweatpants and a shirt.

He went to shower, a quick one only to get the sweat and cum off and then returned to Magnus, hearing his soft snores echo through the living room, one leg hanging down the couch. His mouth wide open. Drool hanging down his cheek. He looked beautiful. Alec wrapped him into a thick blanket and kissed his forehead gently, feeling his heart melt, this was all he wanted, all he needed, he would take it all, even if it was this way.

He definitely needed to speak to Magnus about this, why he was there, why he was dressed like this, what he drank and why he drank, what he remembered. He just hoped Magnus wouldn’t freak out about what they did, maybe he should just leave…after all, they weren’t-…

Alec stood in front of the couch contemplating his options. Stay and maybe make this awkward, leave and…maybe make this awkward. He rolled his eyes and then leant down, giving Magnus a soft kiss on his cheek, feeling him twitch beneath his lips. “I love you.” He whispered and then left reluctantly.

\---

Magnus opened his eyes, focusing on the chandelier hanging on the ceiling, he blinked them a few times and then looked aside. Not again. He leant up to sit and groaned, running a hand through his messy hair and holding his hurting scalp for a moment. He sat on the ground next to the couch, a blanket wrapped around his legs, he fingered his head feeling a little bump on the side. He gave the table a scolding look.

“What did I ever do to you?” He leant forward and untangled his legs to stand up and felt the room spin for a moment. How much did he drink last night? What the fuck happened? Why was he here? He slurped forward and tried to remember something, anything.

He remembered how he sat in his bedroom, making himself ready to go to the club as the old Magnus, or at least looking like him so he wouldn’t stand out, so nobody would be suspicious, also…to try it, he had memorised his look from all the photos on the laptop and to be honest he quite liked it, the people seemed to like it, seemed to like him that way, especially Alec. And maybe, yes maybe…it was mainly because of Alec and the way he looked at the old Magnus with awe. Subconsciously he wanted this, wanted to receive that look, be just as admired as him.

He remembered going to the club but…that’s it. Everything from there on was a huge blur. Images, sounds, music, voices, smells, that is all he remembered. It didn’t make sense. He rose his eyebrows as his eyes landed on his black loose shirt, hanging down his shoulder on one side, the grey sweatpants that were way too big. He frowned. Deeply.

“Good Morning.” Magnus jumped back with a loud yelp, pressing his hand to his heart.

“The fuck- Why! Raphael Why!” Magnus shouted and Raphael snickered from his spot near the door, before his face turned emotionless again. Why was he here, how did he get in? Oh well, he probably could enter the loft being so close to the old Magnus. Of course. ‘You have wards up Magnus, nobody can enter’ he repeated in his head with a grimace. “Nobody can enter my ass.” Magnus groaned to himself.

Raphael stopped in front of him, narrowing his eyes. “Too much information Magnus.” Magnus looked up with wide eyes as he realised what that had sounded like and grimaced with a blush before walking the other way quickly, disappearing in the kitchen. He grabbed the counter, only breathing for a second. “Are you okay?” Raphael asked after he followed him and Magnus twitched again, a shudder running down his spine. Why was he always doing that! For god’s sake.

Magnus schooled his emotions into neutral and went to make a coffee for himself nonchalantly. “Yeah, sure, why wouldn’t I be.”

“Because you just poured coffee into the toaster maybe?”

Magnus looked down at the mess in front of him and then looked up at Raphael, inhaling deeply. “Okay, maybe I’m a little…I don’t know. Confused? Overwhelmed? I don’t remember anything from yesterday night, not a single thing and it’s kind of freaking me out. I just awoke in my loft, wearing this and my head hurts and…fuck. I think I drank too much.” He brushed the coffee powder into a little pile.

“I could tell you what happened, at least some of it.” Magnus eyes shot up again.

“You- you were there?”

“Yeah, I came over to deal with a few Werewolves causing trouble in the club. I asked Alec to accompany me so he could deal with them as the Head of the Institute.” Magnus almost choked on his own breath.

“Alec? Alec was there too?” He stiffened. “Did he…did he see me?” Raphael snorted.

“He saw you.”

“Oh Lilith.” Magnus sighed. “What did I do?” Magnus leant forward partly curious and partly horrified and then slammed his hand on the counter multiple times, urging Raphael on to continue his story. He had no time for this, he needed infos. Now. “Come onnnn, tell me!”

“You were dancing, on one of the platforms.” Oh no, not again. Magnus groaned and hid his head in his palms, leaning his elbows on the counter. Why was he such a mess? He straightened again as he realised that Alec had seen him dance and not only that, he had seen him in old Magnus’ outfit. With make up and hair and all. What did he think? Did he think he was weird? Did he like it? Damn. He needed answers.

“How did he look? Did he look…disgusted? Irritated?”

“If someone was irritated it was me. I have seen things that will haunt me forever and my forever is long.” Magnus rose an eyebrow. “No, Alec didn’t look irritated to answer your question, he looked mesmerized, he watched you dance before he came up to you and…let’s say you two danced. Let’s leave it at that. Please.”

“We danced? What? He danced with me? Why…I don’t remember. Damn I want to remember!” Raphael shook his head.

“No, you don’t.”

“Yes, I do!”

“No.”

“Yes!”

“Magnus…no.”

Magnus looked up with a groan. “I can’t believe he danced with me and I don’t even remember a single thing. Wait…did he…did he bring me home?” Raphael nodded. Magnus didn’t know how to feel about that exactly. Not knowing what had happened was a little scary, what if something else happened? He was obviously dressed differently so he was naked at one point. No, Alec wouldn’t. Would he? Maybe he was drunk too…this…was not happening. They couldn’t have had sex again right? Knowing them…that was probably exactly what happened. Shit.

Raphael saw the horrified expression on Magnus’ face. “He was only taking care of you Magnus. Relax.”

“Since when are you on his side?” Raphael let his eyebrow jump.

“Alec is one of the good guys.” Raphael said with a little grimace, like it was hard for him to say it out loud. “He does stupid things, a lot, but he means well, I know that he loves you and that is all that matters.” Magnus stared at him dumbfounded, his eyes wide.

“Are you on drugs?” Raphael tilted his head with a frown.

“No, I’m just being honest.”

“Ah.” Magnus shut his mouth again not quite knowing what to do with this information. Raphael was on Alec’s side? Said that he loved him? Why? Now? What had changed? What had happened?

Magnus felt a warmth flood his body, knowing that Alec has brought him home, took care of him, changed his clothes, made sure he was safe, after all that happened and all Magnus did to him, but also hearing that Raphael thought well of Alec now made something inside Magnus snap back into place. He trusted Raphael and trusted his judgement. But still…Raphael probably didn’t know either if anything happened between them after.

“I just wanted to make sure you are alright, I will leave now, I will let Catarina know you are okay.” Oh fuck, Catarina, he totally forgot to tell her he is okay after all the mess, he had shut her out of the loft. Urgh what a shitty friend he was. But well, it was just a lot at the moment they surely understood if he was behaving a little off occasionally.

“Thank you, I’m fine and I desperately need a shower so hop off you go” He shoo-ed him out of the kitchen and loft and closed the door behind him, including Catarina into his wards again, just like Clary…and Alec. He smiled a little as he was opening up again, he didn’t like to shut people out, it wasn’t his nature. And somehow, he had gained a little of the confidence and trust back that he had lost.

Magnus almost danced to the shower and was about to push his clothes into the laundry basket as his eyes landed on Alec’s clothes in it, he pulled them out with two fingers, blinking his eyes a few times. Oh. Okay. So…Alec was naked too? Well, maybe he took a shower…Maybe he was sweaty…Maybe he- Magnus leant in as his eyes met a suspicious white spot on the crotch, was that?...no. He sniffed on them before his eyes grew comically and then dropped them.

Okay…breathe Magnus. Cum on his pants at least meant that he didn’t cum on other places…or in. That was a good thing, right? Wait, was that Alec’s or his own? He contemplated licking it for a second before he shook his head, feeling ridiculous. He was not going to- Magnus held the pants in his hands his tongue lapping over the spot thoroughly a second later and then let it drop again, smacking his lips, glad that he was alone otherwise he would probably melt into the ground.

This was definitely Alec’s.

Okay, he needed information, first hand, the only one knowing what had happened was Alec himself. He couldn’t just go there, right? Could he? Well, he actually wanted to see him, talk to him, desperately. They needed to talk about this, if he liked it or not, about it all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Raphael and Alec hm? They seemed to have found a common ground after a rather awkward talk, who would have thought? Magnus is drunk again, who could blame him with all the stress, really. Alec was obviously very much shocked and...attracted 😏 And damn, wasn't that hot? Almost naked Alec dancing and...other stuff and Magnus in his old attire 🤤 Should Alec have stayed after or was it good he left him? Magnus obviously is a mess right now, good thing Raphael cleared it a bit up. Our boys might not have talked as they should, but well what happened might finally lead to that talk they need so bad 😶 Thank you for all the comments and kudos on the last one I love your feedback and thoughts and will reply to it all!


	55. Chapter 55

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He jolted up in surprise, Chairman jumping off his stomach, the moment it knocked on the door. Magnus tried to concentrate on his wards, on the energies around to see who it was. A Shadowhunter. Probably Clary. He jumped off the couch eagerly because he reaaaally needed to talk to her about this, he rushed to the door, partly slithering the last half and opened it with a wide swing. “You won’t believe what just ha-“ he froze as he saw Alec in front of the door, his hand raised to a knock, the box in the other hand. “Alec.” He breathed, not having expected this at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://ibb.co/nwtdSdT)   


Magnus went to shower and brushed his teeth before finding something decent to wear for himself, he found a nice blue and green army patterned shirt that was a little tight around the arms, showing off his biceps. Perfect. Then put some necklaces on, black pants and sat down in front of his mirror, snapping his hair into place before placing the rings back on his fingers that adorned the table neatly. 

He stared at himself, thinking, or more overthinking before he snapped his fingers again, his face now covered in full make up. It was a little too much for him to be honest, it felt like a mask with all the glitter and eyeshadow but…Alec liked it. Obviously.

He needed to see Alec, to speak to him. To ask him about what happened. To thank him maybe. He needed an excuse to go there, something- ah. Magnus pushed his lips aside and then went to the kitchen, he pulled out bowls, ingredients and got to work.

Magnus knocked on the Institute doors with his knuckles, a box in the other hand and then sighed at himself, realising they wouldn’t hear that. He opened the door and looked into the wide familiar corridor before he closed the door behind himself. A long thin and black coat swaying from one side to the other as he made his way forward. His boots clicking on the stone floor, it was weird to walk in heeled boots so he may have lost his balance once or twice, before he finally reached the ops center.

He watched the rush before him, people walking from one side to the other, nobody noticing him, his transparent box in both hands.

“Magnus.” Magnus swung his head aside, seeing Jace leave the weapons room, his blue eyes wide in surprise. “What…what are you doing here…” He asked as he came closer, brushing his hair back with one hand, Magnus noticed that was a nervous habit. Magnus only swallowed and opened his mouth before closing it again, he didn’t see Jace since…well. “Magnus, I’m so sorry for…shit, I didn’t think I would just…I thought of what to say when I see you again but, I kind of forgot. Ah god, sorry.” He stuttered and the edge of Magnus’ lips moved upwards in fondness.

He was never really angry with Jace, how could he, after all he just told him the truth. He took care of him when he was sick, he saved him from Raj and his friends.

“How dare you Jace?” Jace’s eyes widened comically, his breath hitched before Magnus’ lips went upwards, a shimmer in his eyes. Jace looked completely confused before the tension fell off his shoulders as Magnus winked at him. With a little rough shove against Magnus’ shoulder Jace finally relaxed again.

“Come on, why do you scare me like that?” Magnus laughed quietly, before his face softened.

“You are forgiven.” Magnus said gently.

“What?” Jace’ eyebrows shot up. “Just…like that?”

“I said you are forgiven, don’t push it.” Magnus said, pointing his finger and Jace shut his mouth before a smirk appeared on his lips. “You have always been there for me, despite the fact you are a complete idiot-“

“Hey, I-“ Magnus lifted his finger again and Jace shut his mouth once more.

“Let me finish. I owe you a lot, my safety, my health, the truth. I am thankful for everything you did.” Magnus said honestly and Jace looked completely speechless. “You are a good friend, a good Parabatai and a good Shadowhunter. You can be proud of yourself.” Jace shook his head, his eyes beginning to shimmer before he took a step forward and swung his arms around the Warlock, his hands rolled into fists on his back as he pushed him against himself tightly.

“Uff.” Magnus gasped, holding his box aside, the other arm sneaked around the Shadowhunter’s back and he lay his head on his shoulder for a second. He could never be angry with Jace, after all he did, he had no right to be. They parted again. “Could you do me a favour?”

“Yeah, sure, anything.”

“I have ehm, these. These are for Alec.” Magnus said offering the box. “I actually came here to give it to him.” Both stared at each other with wide eyes before Magnus cleared his throat and Jace coughed awkwardly. “I meant, I mean, give them to him, you know.” Magnus stuttered, feeling his cheeks turn red.

“Yes, sure. Right.” Jace stammered not meeting his eyes. “What changed your mind? Why are you not doing it yourself?” Jace asked after a moment of awkward silence. “I mean, why don’t you give the box to him?” He corrected once he realised, he was doing another innuendo.

Magnus looked around himself, down on himself and back up, his eyes showing how unsure and confused he was. “I don’t know, I- I-“ he looked back around the room, seeing a few Shadowhunters walk by and talking to each other, more surprised than anything else and Magnus nerves were kicking up again. Fuck it.

Magnus hated how he couldn’t control his nerves right now, he wanted to be confident, to just walk up to Alec, to maybe impress him even but…”Bye Jace.” Magnus rushed and then turned around to leave again as quick as possible.

Well, this didn’t go as planned, not at all. But seeing Jace and all the Shadowhunters again kind of freaked him out and he wasn’t so sure anymore about this, about seeing Alec, talking to him about last night and the night before and everything else.

Magnus opened the heavy Institute door and almost ran over a tall brunette woman. “Oh, I’m so sorry!” Magnus stuttered and the woman’s face lit up, her smile wide and sparkling, her brown eyes warm and shimmering as she extended her arms and took Magnus into a deep hug.

“Oh, my dear, I am so glad to see you again! It’s been ages!” She said in a lovely voice as she stroked his back and then held him by the upper arms, leaning back and smiling widely up at him. Magnus stared at the stranger in front of him, though there was something awfully familiar about her. “Are you okay?” She asked, dropping her face a little though the smile didn’t leave her red lips.

“Yeah, yeah I’m good, thank you and you?”

She tilted her head aside, narrowing her eyes a little. “Have you been drinking?” She asked playfully. “Shame on you, you could have at least called so I could join.” She joked and Magnus faked a little laugh, his shoulders jumping before he looked past her, pondering how to get out of this situation. “Come on, let’s get inside, it’s freezing cold.” She said, slotting her crooked arm with his and dragged Magnus back inside the Institute.

Magnus followed her, not really having any other choice since her grip was rather strong. Whoever this was, she seemed to mistake him for the old Magnus. Magnus heartbeat picked up the moment he realised where they were heading, he would notice the corridor to Alec’s office everywhere. His fingers and palms became sweaty the closer they got.

The woman swung the door open without much effort obviously stronger than she looked and almost danced inside. “My boy! There you are.” Magnus watched how the woman rushed to Alec’s side and pushed her lips against his temple, he looked shocked before his face turned into fondness, giving the woman a quick glance with a smile before his eyes landed on Magnus by the door; their eyes met and both froze, not really having expected to see the other one obviously.

Magnus eyes flickered down to Alec’s black shirt, the top buttons undone, showing a little hint of his chest hair, his sleeves rolled up to the elbows, Magnus swallowed hard as his eyes went back up, noticing how Alec’s eyes did the same after he had obviously checked him out too. Alec pushed his chair back a little, tensing up. Well, this was awkward.

“What did you do with him? He seems completely out of it.” The woman said as she stood back by Magnus side and looked from one man to the other. Magnus stared at Alec, he didn’t actually mean to come here and most of all, not like this, he felt so unsure about himself right now, his face was completely flushed, he dug his fingers into the box. Alec got up from the chair and walked closer tentatively after he regained his posture, never leaving Magnus with his eyes.

“Mom.” Alec said determined, making a little pause so Magnus could catch up with who this was and Magnus’ eyes widened comically as he placed them back on Alec, meeting with his before Alec’s hazel eyes settled on his mother. His…mother. “I didn’t know you were coming over.” There was a hint of accusation in his tone.

“I didn’t know I have to announce myself. You didn’t pick up your phone in months Alexander, I almost feared something happened, I just wanted to make sure you are alright.”

“I am…alright. Thanks. I was busy.” He said through his teeth, obviously nervous as he placed his arms behind his back, his eyes going from Magnus to his mother and back again. Magnus blinked his eyes a few times and then watched the pair in confusion and something resembling shock, his body was straight as a rod, he felt completely out of place.

“So, the wedding still stands? Because I really feared the worst.” She said, holding her palm against her chest and then looking back at Magnus. Her brown warm eyes almost penetrated him.

“Wedding?” Magnus asked absentmindedly and Alec hissed while his mother almost choked.

“Oh god, I knew it!”

“Mom no, no we are still getting married, it’s just, there was a lot going on lately, we had to postpone it.” Alec rushed, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder, his other hand desperately fidgeting in the air and she looked to her son confused.

“Postpone it?” She couldn’t hide the surprise and disappointment in her voice. She looked like she was close to fainting. This woman seemed really nice and now they were causing her stress, he didn’t know her but he felt bad about it, also he never meant to make such a bad first impression, even though it wasn’t really a first, at least to his mother. He still felt like he should have brought her flowers or something.

This was Alec’s mother… probably someone really close to him and also…maybe close to himself. Her and his older self seemed to get along very well from the way she greeted him and spoke to him, this was amazing when you thought of it, he was a Warlock after all and marrying her son. He really had to process this, but now wasn’t the time for it, he needed to do something, anything.

“Don’t worry-“ Magnus began and then realised his disastrous mistake, he didn’t know her name. He froze mid sentence, his mouth wide open. “mom.” He finished and felt the tips of his ears glow, her face suddenly lit up, her eyes crinkling on the edges, shimmering with tears before she rushed into his arms and hugged him tightly. Magnus patted her back a little awkwardly before she parted from him again.

“You- you’ve never called me that before.” She gasped and Magnus felt his breath hitch before he sent Alec an apologetic look. Oh fuck. He didn’t mean to mess this up. He shouldn’t have said a thing. To his surprise Alec looked like he was close to tears and this was even more confusing. “Magnus, I know my son is a little stubborn sometimes, try to see past his mistakes.”

“Mom!” Alec actually sounded irritated. “I am right here.” His mom waved her petite fingers his way to shush him and Alec rolled his eyes dramatically.

“Let your mother speak Alexander.” Magnus scolded and Alec widened his eyes at Magnus in betrayal who quickly averted his to his mom again with a blush on his cheeks.

“If he ever is too much, just come to me.“ She finished her sentence, her hands resting on his upper arms, holding him tightly and it shouldn’t feel as comforting as it did.

“Thank you, I might take you up on that offer.”

“Anytime dear. I am so glad you two are not fighting or something, I had a bad feeling when I saw you two and the talk about the wedding, I am so relieved.” She rushed and Magnus swallowed again. Well. He really needed to get out of this situation, before he fucked anything up, lying wasn’t his strong suit. He looked down to the box in his hands that he almost forgot and then up to Alec, holding the box towards him a little awkwardly.

“I actually have a meeting with a client…” Magnus said with as much determination as possible. “I just wanted to bring you this.” He said a little unsure now, feeling slightly ridiculous and hoped to Lilith Alec wasn’t opening the box when he was still here. Alec stared at the box as if it was about to bite him and then took it slowly, brushing Magnus pointer finger with his own. Magnus pulled his hand back with a slight smile and then gave Alec’s mother an even wider smile. “I’ll see you around.” He said to her and she nodded warmly, lovingly. He soaked up every second of it.

He turned to leave and then closed the door, not after giving Alec another quick glance, before he inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly, feeling the tension leave his body. Fuck.

\---

Magnus lay on his couch, Chairman Meow sleeping on top of his stomach and snoring softly while he crawled the cat behind the ears, staring up at the ceiling. This was so awkward, meeting Alec’s mother like that, not knowing who she was and what to say to her, meeting Alec in that office, pretending to be fiancés. It didn’t feel right but he didn’t want to make it difficult for Alec, he obviously hadn’t told his mother yet and it wasn’t his to tell her. And most of all, he couldn’t really talk to Alec at all, this was a complete mess.

He jolted up in surprise, Chairman jumping off his stomach, the moment it knocked on the door. Magnus tried to concentrate on his wards, on the energies around to see who it was. A Shadowhunter. Probably Clary. He jumped off the couch eagerly because he reaaaally needed to talk to her about this, he rushed to the door, partly slithering the last half and opened it with a wide swing. “You won’t believe what just ha-“ he froze as he saw Alec in front of the door, his hand raised to a knock, the box in the other hand. “Alec.” He breathed, not having expected this at all.

“Hey…I hope I don’t-…are you busy?” Magnus pressed his lips together and then looked aside to the table, the bowl of sweets on the table, the packages scattered across the room. “Is this a bad time? I can go.” Magnus shifted his eyes back to him.

“No…it’s okay. Come in.” Magnus said and took a few steps backwards, snapping his fingers behind his back to have the mess disappear. Alec walked into the loft slowly and then looked down in surprise as Chairman hit his leg with his head, brushing his back against his pants, Alec looked up to Magnus surprised and Magnus quickly averted his eyes, playing with the ear cuff before he walked off towards the living room, feigning innocence.

“There you are…I already searched the whole Institute for you.” Alec said and crouched down to stroke the feline while Magnus nibbled on his lower lip feeling a little guilty. “You wanted to come home, hm? I know the feeling.” Alec whispered to the cat but Magnus could hear it clear and loud and stopped, before turning around, pretending he didn’t hear that part even though it made his heart pound a beat quicker. Alec stood back up and then followed Magnus into the loft, stopping in front of the smaller man. “Thank you…they were amazing.” He said handing the box back to Magnus.

Magnus took it and placed it on the drinking cart. “You are welcome…”

“Did you do them?”

“Yes.” Magnus answered a little unsure. “No.” He admitted quickly. “I tried but…well, it was a disaster.” He laughed a little shy. “I ended up doing them with magic. You said you like waffles.” Magnus explained lamely and Alec smiled a little lopsided.

“I did and I do. How did I deserve these? I mean…”

“I wanted to thank you. For…for bringing me home yesterday and I- well, I needed an excuse to see you-“ he stopped realising he was maybe being a little too honest, he didn’t mean to say that out loud.

“You never need an excuse to see me Magnus…you can see me whenever you want to.” Alec answered gently. “I am sorry about my mom, she can be a lot sometimes, but she means well, thank you for playing along…”

“No problem.” He said honestly. There it was again, that tension between them that he couldn’t quite explain or place his finger on. It was odd. They had sex not too long ago, they fought, they said things, they obviously did stuff yesterday which he doesn’t remember. Also, they were a couple before for quite some time and this felt like they were back to before, back to being pining teenagers or something. Their eyes met briefly and Magnus then looked another way, returning to play with his ear cuff. “She is a sweet woman. You have a great mom.” Alec nodded gratefully, in agreement.

“She is.” Alec placed his arms behind his back and Magnus watched the muscles on his arms strain with the movement, he eyed his front from aside for a moment. “How do you know it was me…that brought you home?”

“Raphael.” Magnus said with a jump of his eyebrow. Alec suddenly tensed in front of him.

“Raphael?...Did he- what did he tell you?”

“That you brought me home.” Magnus repeated. “And..well, that…we danced. Did we dance?” Alec looked more nervous by the second.

“Yes, we danced…” He confirmed and Magnus nodded again, fidgeting with his rings on his fingers that Alec observed as well. Magnus swallowed thickly and closed his eyes for a second.

“Did anything else happen? Beside the dancing? At the loft I mean.” He finally said, now looking at him and Alec inhaled, looking like he was caught and Magnus felt a little sick. Oh no. Something happened.

“No, nothing happened at the loft, we didn’t- if that is what you want to know. But…” He licked his plump lips. “We might have had a little too much fun while…dancing.” Magnus eyes travelled down Alec’s body, remembering the cum stained pants and then back up. “At least I did…” Alec’s pink cheeks looked awfully adorable.

“Oh.” He answered. That is what happened. And he didn’t remember a thing. Great.

“Nobody saw. I think, well, except Raphael.” Well, now everything Raphael had said this morning made way more sense. He saw Alec…having a happy time. Poor Vampire, he must be branded for life. Magnus chuckled to himself before he put his face back into neutral. What he’d give to have seen this, to have witnessed it himself. Alec coming was quite the sight and somehow he didn’t like the thought of other’s seeing him that way, it was intimate and something only Magnus should see. Magnus rolled his eyes at himself as he heard his own thoughts.

“Good…yeah. I don’t- I don’t remember.”

“I thought so…what happened yesterday…you were completely drunk.”

“Obviously.”

“Why?” Alec asked in a gentle tone, not pushing, just openly curious and slightly concerned.

“I may have overdone it a little, I don’t usually drink so much. I was nervous and…wanted to blend in, it was my first time at the Pandemonium knowing its mine and I- well, I fucked up. I didn’t mean to have it escalate.”

“You didn’t fuck up Magnus.” Alec rose his hand, wanting to stroke his arm but stopped himself.

“Well, who knows what would have happened if you didn’t come to play the hero in shining armour.” A wide smile spread on Alec’s lips. Magnus seriously didn’t want to think about that illegally beautiful smile.

“Why did you dress up like this?” Alec asked and Magnus focused on Alec again.

“What?”

“The clothes, the make up…the hair. You dressed like…your older self.” Magnus sucked his lower lip in nervously. Alec didn’t seem to like it, he sounded irritated.

“As I said, I wanted to blend in. I saw photos of…well of me. My future self.” He said defensively and wanted to hug himself for comfort but kept from doing so. He didn’t need to admit he did it for Alec too, it obviously didn’t work. He probably thought he was weird for doing so.

“You looked amazing. You…still look amazing.” Alec whispered and Magnus’ lips parted. Oh? So, he did like it? Then why doesn’t he sound happy, why doesn’t he look at him with that fondness he had aimed for. Well, because he wasn’t his fiancé. “But…you are more beautiful the way you are.” Alec added. “Without…this.” Alec gestured to Magnus outfit. “You don’t need it.”

“But-“ Magnus began, feeling confusion take over. “Your fiancé-“

“You are not my fiancé Magnus. You are you and you are perfect the way you are.” Magnus felt goosebumps spread over his body, a sob threatening to leave his lips, he pressed them together tightly. Fuck. Why did he say such beautiful words? What was he so perfect for? Alec took a step forward, his Shadowhunter stance leaving his body, his arms falling to his sides before he cleared his throat softly.

“Magnus, from the moment I saw you, I knew I could never stay away from you, I tried but I couldn’t. I was selfish and wanted to be near you and I felt you wanted that too. I never planned on falling in love with you all over again, but I did. I got to know this other side of you, a side I didn’t know before, the man behind all the glitter, the one you were before, the pure you. I learned so much about you these past months, things I never knew. I learned about your past, your hobbies, your navel, your fear of water, your ex, the way you turn into a ball when you sleep, the way your ears blush when you are embarrassed, your love for dancing, you are…you are so wonderful Magnus, everything of you and I fell in love with this…with you.”

Magnus felt tears sting in his eyes as Alec ended his speech. He looked from Alec’s left eye to his right, craning his neck up from how close he was, his lips parted in surprise. He didn’t see that coming, he wasn’t prepared for the honesty in Alec’s voice. He felt it. Every word. He meant it.

Again, he thought about the fact if things would have gone any different if he had known before. It was true he was attracted to Alec and always has been, if he had known…would it have made a difference? Maybe it would, but maybe it would have happened just the exact same way, everything. Magnus had lied to him too, kept things from him to not hurt him. About his inexperience and had ‘forced’ Alec to do these things with Magnus without Alec knowing it was his first times and he remembered the hurt and devastation Alec felt when Magnus admitted to it. It was a lie too and it might have changed things. Alec forgave him.

Maybe Alec had been just too far into it and didn’t know how to tell him anymore without hurting him, without losing him and…maybe it was all true, maybe his feelings were true? What he said, what he did, maybe he was sincere and he could trust him. He wanted to.

“I don’t know what to say…” Magnus said honestly.

“Give me a chance Magnus, give us…a chance. I will never lie to you again. I will never disappoint you again. I will never hurt you again, I promise. I will do anything to make you happy.” You already make me happy. So much.

Magnus took a step closer towards Alec who dropped his face to keep his eyes on Magnus. Magnus eyes flickered to his lips and back up, signalling what he wanted but Alec wasn’t moving, as if afraid to do the wrong move, he obviously wanted to let Magnus decide. To give them a chance. Or maybe he was just afraid. Magnus saw that his lips slightly trembled. Magnus leant forward, going on his tiptoes slightly and then pressed his lips against Alec’s, feeling him gasp into the kiss before he returned it carefully.

This felt so different, familiar but yet different, since everything between them was clear and there were no lies. He chose him freely and willingly, knowing everything he had to know and that was an overwhelming feeling. He could feel Alec felt it too from the way he trembled, Magnus reached up to cup his cheeks to steady him and Alec grabbed Magnus’ sides gently, pulling him closer while their lips parted and closed against the other, lovingly brushing against one another.

A warm sensation spread in his body as he pressed himself forward and closer to Alec, they held each other tightly as if afraid the other one would disappear. Their lips parted with a soft smack and Magnus lowered himself on his heels again. Alec took a second before he opened his eyes, sparkling with his tears and Magnus gently stroked his stubbly cheek.

“I forgive you.” He watched Alec swallow, clearly overwhelmed by this situation, by his words. “And I will keep the cat.” Alec snorted, the tension falling off his shoulders immediately and Magnus giggled, happy he had that effect on Alec, he wanted him to relax. Magnus wasn’t going to hurt him. To leave him.

“He is yours anyways.”

“I knew it.” Magnus narrowed his eyes.

“Am I…yours?” Alec whispered and Magnus eyebrows jerked up for a second. Was he asking if they were still boyfriends? If they were a couple? There was nothing to think about, not for Magnus.

“Only if I am yours.”

“It’s always been you Magnus. Always.” Magnus pulled him down and swung his arms around the Shadowhunter, who held him in his strong and long arms just the same. “I missed you Magnus. So much.”

“I missed you too.” Magnus leant his head on Alec’s shoulder and smelled on his neck, closing his eyes to the familiar scent. This felt so right, so good, he felt whole again there in Alec’s arms. In his warmth and scent.

Alec suddenly jerked and Magnus let go.

“What is it?”

“My phone, just a second.” He grabbed his phone and answered the call before grimacing. Magnus watched him a little confused. “It’s Izzy, she says mom is on a rant after finding out about what happened with you.” He said after ending the call. “I have to go there…talk to her.”

“Oh.” Magnus grimaced too. “Good luck.”

“Yeah.” Both chuckled a little helplessly, still holding each other’s hands lazily. “Will I- when will I see you again?”

“Maybe for dinner later…if you want, I mean.” He stuttered a little and Alec nodded immediately.

“Yes. I want that.” Magnus smiled widely up at him and Alec leant down quickly, placing another peck on Magnus lips that turned into a full kiss, before he pulled back. “I will be back in a bit.”

“Take someone with you, you shouldn’t face her alone.”

“Yeah, I’ll drag Jace into it, if he wants to or not.” Alec answered already on his way out. “Bye Magnus…” He said with a little wave and Magnus waved back, feeling like a teenager in love, seeing the way Alec didn’t want to leave, and he felt the same. Now that he had Alec back, he didn’t want to let him go again. But he had to. Alec closed the door behind him and Magnus let himself fall back on the couch with a relieved and overjoyed sigh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank the angels! THEY TALKED. And what a talk it was, right? 😍 I guess we are all doing the happy dance right now, because our boys are fucking back together y'all! How happy are you, did you expect this to happen this chapter? And what do you think about their date? Will they manage? Will it go well? Will they talk about all the rest and behave or do...other things? 😂 And Maryse finally made her first appearance, well that was awkward right? How did you like their little gathering in the office? Jace was pardoned as well, rather quick, did you understand Magnus decision? So, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I hope it made you as happy as me. Thanks for all the kudos and comments on the last one! Thanks for reading and leaving so much feedback! 😘


	56. Chapter 56

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Why are you like this?”
> 
> “Like what?” Magnus asked a little vulnerable.
> 
> “So perfect.” Alec breathed and Magnus felt his shoulders slump, a little smile forming on his lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://ibb.co/kDCVNwz)  


“This fucking- fuck- shit- thing-“ Magnus rambled as he tossed the bowl across the kitchen, he watched it hit the ground, the flour leaving a film on the parquet. Magnus sighed dramatically while he tossed his head into his palms and grabbed his hair. He wasn’t desperate. No.

He has not at all spent the past 30 minutes trying to do a noodle dough for their dinner. He did the sauce after an Italian recipe and it was now simmering on the stove beside him, it actually smelled incredible and he was quite proud of it but those noodles were giving him a headache and he could swear he saw a white hair grow on his head. It could be so easy, he could just snap his fingers and have it done, but he actually wanted to do this, wanted to do something real after already failing miserably with the waffles.

He felt something shift in his wards as he straightened, shit, he was coming. Magnus looked at the mess and then brushed his dirty hands down his chest before groaning at his stupidity as it left white marks on his new black shirt, he felt Alec come closer and then quickly made his way to the front door to greet him properly. He swung the door open to see Alec turn around the corner, his eyes growing wide suddenly.

“What…” He eyed the Warlock carefully. He was out of breath, slightly sweaty and had flour all over him, his face, his hair, his shirt, but beside that Alec noticed that he didn’t wear any make up, his hair was down and fluffy, he wore a simple black shirt and loose sweatpants. He looked…young. And amazing. Alec looked down on himself, his black pants and the blue button up shirt, his hair combed, he felt completely overdressed. Magnus gave himself a quick once over and then looked up apologetically.

“I’m sorry Alexander, I thought-“ He began, his ears starting to glow and Alec quickly shook his head, lifting his hand.

“You look perfect Magnus.” He reassured him quickly and then reached forward and brushed his fingers over Magnus’ hair, both watched the flour fall from his strands and Alec chuckled slightly.

“Thanks for the sentiment.” Magnus whispered and then observed Alec’s outfit. “Oh wow.”

Alec looked down on himself and then back up with a proud smirk. “You approve?”

“I- I- prove, approve, I do-“ he stuttered. “Please, come in.” He stepped back and shut his mouth, hoping Alec would just overhear his stuttering. Alec came inside slowly and then hang his jacket that he had held in his arms and stepped out of his boots gracefully. Magnus was hit with a very masculine scent as Alec passed him and had to fight the urge to roll his eyes into his head. God, he smelled divine.

“What happened to you?” Alec then asked and turned back around; Magnus shot his eyes up from Alec’s backside quickly.

“Yeah, yes.”

“What?” Alec asked a little amused. Magnus stared, realising he hadn’t understood a word. By Lilith why was he such a mess, what was wrong with him?

“I’m sorry Alexander, I didn’t get that.”

“I asked what happened?” Alec repeated while he gave Magnus a fond smile, wanting nothing more than to wrap his arms around Magnus and hold him forever. He was so obviously nervous. And even though Alec felt the same, he was better at hiding it.

“I am making dinner.” Magnus said lamely and pointed to the kitchen. “Well, I try. Which reminds me, shit-“ he lifted a finger and then dashed through the loft, Alec watched the empty space and then followed him to the kitchen, seeing Magnus stir something in the pan furiously. “Ah, okay…phew. It’s good.” Magnus said with a sigh and then watched Alec observe the kitchen and the bowl on the ground, the flour spread around. Magnus averted his eyes, concentrating on the pan.

“You are actually cooking.” Alec said, there was surprise in his tone. Magnus didn’t know if he should feel offended at that.

“Did I never cook? I mean…do I not cook, in the future?”

“No.” Magnus smacked his lips a few times and rose his eyebrows. He was such a lazy thing and obviously it would stick. “You usually do your magic. What are you trying to do, maybe I can help you?” He said stepping closer and Magnus looked up from the pan.

“Noodles.”

“Noodles?” Alec’s face twisted into joy. “I can do noodles, that’s not difficult, come on let me show you.” He rolled his sleeves up and Magnus salivated at the sight. “Look, it’s pretty simple.” He said and then grabbed the flour, pouring it right on the counter before he made a little hole in the middle. “Give me two eggs please.” Magnus turned aside and grabbed two eggs, handing them to him, Alec cracked them open on the edge of the counter and then dropped them in the middle of the flour one handed and Magnus watched in amazement.

Alec began to mix the ingredients slowly and carefully before he kneaded the dough with one hand, leaning on the counter slightly, he made little noises from the effort and Magnus’ eyes went from his hand up his arm to his face and back down. He shouldn’t feel so turned on by this. Seriously.

“See, it’s simple.” Alec said as he stopped and wiped his forehead with the back of his hand that wasn’t dirty. “Now we’ll pack it and put it in the fridge for around 30 minutes.” Magnus nodded and quickly got the plastic wrap and wrapped it around the ball of dough Alec had formed. “Once that’s done, we will have to stretch it to make it thin and smooth and then form noodles.” He shrugged. “What kind of noodles do you want?” yours.

“I think spaghetti is the easiest.”

“We can do that.” Alec said and then turned to go for the sink, he washed his hands while Magnus made his way through the kitchen and snapped his fingers to have the mess disappear. Alec dried his hands and then turned around to stir the sauce.

“I can always…you know, magic something if it’s awful.” Magnus said defensively and Alec only shook his head.

“I bet it’s amazing.” He said after smelling it.

“I will…I will freshen up for a second, I’ll be right back.” Magnus said and then left in a rush. He really needed a moment to get his head clear, he closed the bedroom door and then went to the bathroom before he washed his face and the tried to get the flour out of his hair. He took his shirt off and threw it aside carelessly, put on some more deodorant before leaving to find a new shirt. He stopped as he saw Alec’s back, the taller man turned around quickly, his eyes travelling down Magnus’ body in a quick glance, a surprised expression on his face.

“Oh, sorry.” Alec said a little unsure. “I didn’t think you’d- sorry.” Alec stuttered, his confident aura completely gone and Magnus smiled at him, also himself and the whole situation, it wasn’t like they never saw each other naked and this was only his torso, but then again, he kind of got it, he felt the same.

“It’s okay Alexander, nothing you haven’t seen before.” Magnus murmured and then went to the closet to get himself a new shirt. “You smell nice.” Magnus whispered into his drawers.

“What?”

Magnus cleared his throat. “You- you smell nice.” He repeated and watched Alec’s stance relax again.

“Yeah? I tried something new. Hoped you’d like it.”

“I do.” Magnus said and then got into his new shirt that was a deep red. “I do.” He repeated, more to himself.

“How did the talk with your mother go?” Magnus asked as he walked back out of the room, Alec following on his heels. He went to his drinking cart and quickly poured them two drinks, handing one of them to Alec.

“Oh well. It was wonderful. I think I’m disinherited.”

“So bad?” he grimaced.

“Yeah, she was furious. She was close to slapping me I think, I saw her rolling her hands into fists.”

“I get it.” Their eyes met for a second.

“I think she was on your side. I should feel insulted by that but I can understand it. My mother loves you- my mom approves of us wholeheartedly.”

“That is very…sweet.” Magnus finished. He actually felt quite overwhelmed by that, it made a warmth spread in his body, there was a woman out there, a mother that approved of him, of them, that cared for him, not like he knew that feeling. But then again, she wasn’t his mother, she was Alec’s and hearing that she was angry with him and on Magnus side didn’t feel right, she should be there for Alec and not him.

“I am sure your mother loves you more Alexander.” Alec made a noise in the back of his throat. “What?” He asked, eyeing him intensely. Alec sipped on his drink and then licked his lips looking up at the ceiling for a moment.

“Maybe.” Magnus gasped, his shoulders sagging.

“No, not maybe, she does. I could see it, I felt it. She looked like a very proud mother.” Alec’s eyes met with Magnus and his face softened, a smile slowly spread on his lips and he gave him a little nod, obviously grateful for the support.

“I have prepared something outside, on the balcony.” Alec looked surprised. “You don’t need your jacket, just…go outside, you’ll see.” Magnus then went to the kitchen to prepare their meal. He took the dough out and began to knead it into a thin stripe and cut it with a knife before pouring them into bowling water, that part was easy. It would only take a few minutes he assumed. He placed the noodles on the plates and poured the sauce over them, topping them with some basil.

He balanced the plates outside to the balcony and saw Alec seated at the romantically decorated dinner table for two, red roses in the middle, a bottle of wine and a few candles, fairy lights adorning the walls and railing.

“How did you do that?” Alec asked gesturing into the air. “It’s warm.”

“I’m a Warlock Alexander.” Magnus said proudly and then placed the plates on the table. “It does have its perks.”

“Wow, this looks amazing and it smells like heaven.” No, you smell like heaven.

“Thank you.” Magnus said a little shy now and then sat down. Their eyes met again before they began to eat in comfortable silence. A few appreciating humming sounds came from their mouths.

“The sauce- seriously Magnus.”

“It was good, right?”

“I’m speechless.”

“I liked the noodles.”

“It’s just flour and eggs.” Magnus shrugged. Alec placed the fork down and then eyed Magnus tentatively. “Magnus, are you okay?” Magnus looked up, not having realised he had stared at his empty plate for a minute or two.

“Yeah, yes, sorry.”

“Is it too much?”

“What?”

“Me, the situation. I can leave if you want me to.”

“No, please don’t. I’m okay, it’s not that. Far from it, I actually…I actually feel amazing. I…am…” His face softened and so did Alec’s. “I’m happy.”

“Me too.” He said and reached out, opening his palm and Magnus placed his hand in his before Alec squeezed it. “I love you Magnus.” Magnus inhaled sharply.

“I love you too.” Alec’s eyed widened and so did Magnus’. Both stared at each other startled before Magnus turned his hand in Alec’s big palm and squeezed it back. “I love you.” He repeated and he saw Alec’s eyes getting teary, his breath becoming ragged. “I love you.” Magnus parroted firmer and squeezed his hand tightly. Alec pressed his lips together tight and Magnus saw his chin tremble. Magnus got up from his chair and then closed the distance between them before he cupped Alec’s cheeks and leant down, placing his lips against Alec’s.

Alec breathed into the kiss and Magnus tried not to cry, not to let his emotions overwhelm himself. He didn’t mean to say this out loud, to say it now, to say it at all, it just happened because…it was the truth, it’s what he felt, it’s what he had always felt and maybe it was just right, maybe he was meant to say it. Magnus parted from his trembling boyfriend and stroked his cheeks with his thumbs, he had his eyes closed, Alec’s long lashes lying on his cheeks.

He opened them slowly and looked up, his hazel eyes shimmering in the candle light. “Magnus…” He gasped.

“It’s okay Alexander.” He soothed him, seeing he was overwhelmed. “Come on, let’s get inside.” He said, dragging his boyfriend from the chair and into the loft, snapping his fingers to have the dinner be gone. He went for his drinking cart and then poured them another pair of drinks before he handed it to Alec who sat on the couch still dumbfounded. Magnus stood in front of the sofa a little awkward while he watched Alec sip his drink.

“You are weirded out.” Magnus said and Alec was shaken out of his dream, staring up.

“No, I’m- I’m not. I just don’t know how to express…what I feel. How I deserve this. I have hurt you…” Alec said, his face twisting and Magnus put his half empty glass down quickly before he rushed to Alec’s side and crouched down in front of his boyfriend, taking his hands in his own.

“Alexander…I forgave you, I told you and I mean it. I have hurt you too.” Magnus said guilty. “I am so sorry for lashing out at you…I should have never used my magic against you, it was wrong and so awful of me.” Alec focused on Magnus. “I promise to you that I will never, ever, use it against you again, please trust me.”

“Magnus, I- I know. I trust you; I always have. I know you weren’t in control and I understand it, I kind of provoked it myself. I lost my temper, I was completely out of it, I shouldn’t have pushed you so much, I wanted you to hurt me Magnus. It wasn’t your fault.”

“Whatever you did, there is no way you deserve to be treated like that, to be hurt for it, nobody should hurt you, not I and not you. You did a mistake Alexander, it’s only human and I am half human too, I understand it and I did mistakes too.”

“Why are you like this?”

“Like what?” Magnus asked a little vulnerable.

“So perfect.” Alec breathed and Magnus felt his shoulders slump, a little smile forming on his lips.

“I am far from perfect.” Magnus said a little sheepish and then gave Alec a smile that said everything will be alright. Magnus looked down to Alec’s hands in his own and then lifted them to his lips, he kissed the bruised knuckles and then washed his hand over them, a blue glow following the motion. “Please, don’t hurt yourself anymore Alexander.”

Alec looked into Magnus’ eyes a little taken aback. “I did not- I didn’t do it on purpose.” Magnus rose an eyebrow slowly, gently and Alec sighed, lowering his eyes and face, obviously embarrassed. Magnus placed his pointer finger below his chin and lifted it back up, Alec’s cheeks were flushed.

“You can talk to me.” He offered and Alec seemed to search his face, to contemplate about his options and then looked back down at his own hands, turning them around.

“I don’t do it on purpose. Not really. But I guess deep inside I want it and something makes me do it, I don’t know why I can’t really explain it, it soothes me…” he stuttered and then looked back down now hiding his knuckles.

“Has it always been like that?” Alec shrugged and then looked back up at Magnus and Magnus realised he wasn’t comfortable talking about this now, he shouldn’t be pushing him.

“It got better when I met you.” Alec then whispered and Magnus’ face twitched in surprise for a short moment before he smiled at him warmly.

Magnus leant forward and stopped right in front of his face, looking into his eyes and Alec closed the distance, brushing their lips together in a long and loving kiss, there was no passion in it, only pure love and trust. Magnus felt Alec’s breath dance over his cheek and then pulled back slowly, their foreheads leaning together.

“Will you stay?” Magnus asked in a whisper and Alec searched his eyes for uncertainty.

“Yes.” He answered a little breathless. “If you will have me.” Magnus smiled widely and Alec mirrored the expression.

“I will.” Magnus said and then straightened, Alec got off the sofa, their hands still interlocked when Alec made his way forward until their fingers parted, Alec sent him a warm smile and then disappeared in the kitchen, Magnus heard the familiar clatter of someone cleaning the kitchen and smiled to himself, before he made his way to the bathroom to brush his teeth, clean himself, go to the toilet and undress.

This was so…surreal. So perfect. The whole day, the evening, the night, he felt those familiar butterflies in his belly and it was driving him insane. This was only Alec yet he felt overwhelmed in his presence and wanted nothing more than to be near the man, as close as possible. Magnus eyed his almost naked self in the mirror, only a pair of boxers gracing his body. He observed his navelless belly before a navel appeared on the spot, Magnus looked back up his chest to his own face. He looked so bare, so different from his old self and yet Alec preferred him that way and so did he.

It was a comforting thought to know that Alec liked, no loved him the way he was. That has never happened before in all his 100 years, of course his few friends did but a lover? Even Charlotte didn’t know the whole truth. Alec knew everything there is, everything there was about Magnus and wasn’t running away, he got closer and closer instead, found a way into his heart, broke down those walls around him. And he was so grateful for it. It should feel frightening but it didn’t. It felt perfect.

And he loved Alec, he loved him so much, he finally told him so. Even if it wasn’t planned at all, it was the perfect moment for them. Magnus eyes drifted back down to his navel that disappeared again. No, he wasn’t going to glamour himself, he could be himself, completely and utterly himself around Alec.

He left the bathroom and still heard Alec work in the kitchen, he slipped into bed and listened to the sounds Alec did, it was comforting, soothing. Not being alone. Having Alec near. Alec closed the bedroom door and Magnus listened to his steps as he disappeared in the bathroom too. He heard the toilet flush and the water run for a while, he heard him step outside again and felt his breath pick up. He didn’t dare to open his eyes, fearing to be overwhelmed by the sight of his probably naked boyfriend.

He felt the bed dip as Alec entered it on his side and heard the rustling of covers, Magnus turned onto his left side and then opened his eyes to Alec lying on his back, his eyes up to the ceiling, Magnus could see that he wore a shirt. He didn’t know whether to feel disappointed or more relaxed. No, to be honest, he would have preferred him without. Alec’s head shot aside quickly, much too fast for Magnus to react and he inhaled sharply in surprise before averting his eyes. He heard Alec giggle from aside.

“Is this okay?” Alec asked and Magnus kept his eyes somewhere else, not wanting Alec to see his flushed cheeks. It was dim in the room with only Alec’s light on his night stand on. “I mean, me sleeping in here. I can-“

“No.” Magnus grabbed Alec’s arm below the sheets, holding onto his wrist. “Stay, please.” Alec turned onto his right side to face Magnus who tentatively did the same. Their faces mere inches away from the other. They only looked at each other, memorising their faces while smiles spread on their lips.

“What are you thinking?” Alec whispered hoarsely. The sound made Magnus shiver.

“That I am really lucky…”

“Not as lucky as I am.” Alec returned and then turned his hand a little to hold Magnus’ arm too, stroking his soft skin. Magnus wanted to do nothing more than to cuddle close to him and kiss the man.

“Why- ehm, the shirt?” Magnus stuttered awkwardly. Alec looked down on himself and then at Magnus’ bare chest, at least the part he could see and wasn’t covered.

“I didn’t know if you are comfortable with me being naked.” Magnus couldn’t help but snort and then brushed his lips with his pointer finger, looking somewhere else, slightly embarrassed by the noise he just made. Alec’s surprised face turned into a full on smirk. “Do you want me to take it off?” He asked a little hoarsely and Magnus inhaled deep, trying hard to not blush.

“Do what you’re comfortable with Alexander. I know you prefer to sleep naked.” He answered politely. “I don’t mind it.” He added quick and Alec’s smile grew. Magnus sucked his lower lip into his mouth and began to nibble on it. To hell with it. “I would like you to take it off.”

Alec licked his upper lip before he sat up and grabbed the shirt on his back, pulled it off his body and threw it across the room to the closet before he dropped down again. Magnus gasped as he was hit with another wave of his scent and the sight of his hairy and strong pecs. Ehm, yes. He didn’t mind this…at all. Alec turned back onto his side and lay his head on his hand while Magnus tried to even his breath.

“Better?”

“I don’t know.”

“Why?” Alec asked amused and Magnus felt Alec’s eyes stare at his cheeks, knowing he had lost the fight against his blush.

“You know why.” Magnus answered sheepishly. 

“Magnus?”

“Yes?” Magnus whispered.

“Can I kiss you?” Magnus chuckled softly.

“Since when do you ask?” Magnus answered, an obvious invitation and Alec smirked before shuffling closer, taking the side of Magnus’ face into his big palm before he connected them at their lips. His lips were warm, not hot and they played with Magnus’ lips, nibbling, opening, closing, sucking, Magnus felt his breath pick up a notch, a pleasant tremble going through his body at Alec’s fingertips dancing over his skin below his ear, the way his light stubble felt against his cheeks.

Magnus brushed his hand along Alec’s side to his back and pulled himself closer to his body until they were flush, their lips never losing contact as they deepened their kiss. Shit. This felt so good, he was so warm, so hard below his fingers, he felt his hair against his chest and stomach and the way he breathed quickly and it made his dick harden in his boxers, there was no avoiding this. Alec opened his eyes for a second, looking at Magnus intensely, Magnus realised he obviously noticed and just pulled Alec into the kiss again to not make this awkward.

Their kiss deepened once more, turning passionately as they moaned softly against the other one’s lips, Magnus felt Alec’s tongue lick into his mouth and gasped at the sensation that it sent through his body. “You are so beautiful Magnus.” Alec whispered into the kiss and Magnus felt his cheeks flush even more. “I love you so much.”

“Stop it Alexander.” Magnus said playfully and Alec grinned before they kissed again, their bodies rubbing together, building a pleasant friction between them and Magnus finally felt Alec’s arousal press against his thighs, it made him feel better and yet more nervous. He swallowed as Alec kissed along his cheek and to his jaw, over his throat. He groaned at the pleasure his lips caused and Magnus leant back to lay on his back, pulling on Alec to follow, the taller man did as he rolled on top of Magnus slowly, putting one leg between Magnus’ and keeping his weight off him as good as possible.

Magnus slid his hands over Alec’s shoulders, down his muscular back and pressed him closer while he craned his neck up as Alec had lifted his head, he snapped after his lips with his own before Alec collided against them again. Magnus felt warmth spread through his body, Alec’s warmth and body weight was soothing and comforting and highly arousing, he felt Alec’s thigh gently rubbing against his crotch. “Alexander?” Magnus asked a little breathlessly and Alec hummed.

“I want you.” Alec hummed again, louder this time and then began to kiss Magnus’ throat once more.

“I want you too.” Alec whispered between his open mouthed kisses. “So bad.” Alec gave his skin below the jaw another long kiss and then leant on his arms to get off of Magnus, to roll them over but Magnus held him down by his back.

“No…like this.” Magnus said and felt the blush rise to his ears. Alec looked a little confused before it dawned on him, he began to lift his legs to straddle Magnus, when Magnus stopped him once more. “No…” he groaned, now slightly frustrated. Did he really need to spell it out to him?

“You are confusing me Magnus.” Alec whispered, he didn’t sound irritated, he seemed distracted as he was about to dive down for another kiss.

“I want you…inside me.” Alec froze in front of his lips and then lifted his face again slowly, he stared into Magnus’ eyes, searching them, his lips apart, Magnus mirrored his expression and searched Alec’s eyes, trying to decipher what he was thinking, what he was feeling, what he wanted and suddenly felt extremely unsure. His face was heating up involuntarily.

“Magnus…” Alec began and obviously had trouble to find the right words. “We don’t have to, I mean…you don’t need to.” Magnus watched Alec’s face closely, carefully.

“What if I want to?” He asked and there was no tease in it. Magnus felt Alec’s heart beat against his chest.

“Do you?” He had to make sure. Make double sure. Magnus felt a shiver run down his body, he was getting more nervous by the second and felt the confidence wash away. He thought about it. He tried, but the weight of Alec’s body was making this so hard, he felt so good, he was so hot, those hazel eyes staring right into his soul, those rosy lips soft and shimmering and he wanted to be one with that man. Completely.

“Yes?” He pressed his lips together and Alec’s face softened, a warm smile spreading on his kiss swollen lips.

“It’s okay Magnus, really. I’m fine with the way it is. More than fine.” Magnus blinked his eyes in confusion and slight irritation.

“Don’t you…want to?” Magnus asked, sounding more vulnerable than he had aimed for. Alec’s brow furrowed, the smile fading away again.

“Of course, I want to Magnus, but you don’t and that’s okay-“

“But I do.” Alec stopped and closed his mouth, staring down at the Warlock in his arms. “I love you and I- I want to feel you.” Alec’s breath hitched in his throat and Magnus didn’t know how to feel, if he wanted to smack Alec across the head and run away or stay strong and await his reaction. The seconds passing by felt like hours while they just looked at each other, their breaths jerky and warm.

“Do you mean that?” Alec asked and sounded just as unsure as Magnus and Magnus realised, he was nervous too, he didn’t want to do something wrong and Magnus nodded.

“I mean it.” Magnus answered firmly, leaving no space for arguments.

Alec finally seemed to have realised that Magnus meant what he was saying, he lowered his head again carefully and Magnus closed his eyes as their lips met again, all the passion from before gone, the kiss was soft and tender, they moved their faces from one side to the other while they kissed and licked the other one lovingly, Alec’s hands were gently brushing along his soft skin, it felt like everything Alec did was suddenly ten times lighter, careful and Magnus noticed his fingers slightly trembled as they ran over his abs. They stopped at his boxers and Alec parted from him, looking into his eyes and Magnus gave him a little nod.

Alec leant back onto his legs and gripped the boxers, pulling them down his legs, he let them drop to the floor and then admired the sight in front of him shamelessly, Magnus smiled a little embarrassed but then felt his breath hitch as Alec grabbed his thighs gently and parted his legs, Magnus inhaled sharply and looked up at the ceiling trying to calm his nerves down. Alec leant forward again and Magnus felt the familiar urge to shut his legs but they only pressed against Alec’s sides as he lay back on top of him.

“Are you okay?” Alec asked and Magnus put his eyes back on his boyfriend.

“Yeah, sorry.”

“If you changed your mind, we can stop at any time.”

“No, I still, I want this, I am just- I’m nervous.” Magnus chuckled a little desperately and Alec smiled down at him with that fond admiration he only had with him.

“Me too.” He whispered. “I was never…I never was someone’s first. I don’t want to fuck this up.” Both laughed a little at the situation.

“I trust you.” Alec groaned.

“Don’t say that.” He let his head drop to Magnus’ shoulder.

“But I do.”

“The pressure.” Alec whispered and Magnus laughed again, stroking Alec’s back soothingly.

“You can do this Alexander.” He encouraged him and Alec lifted his head with a raised eyebrow.

“Shouldn’t I be encouraging you?”

“I like to focus on you, makes me forget my own nerves.” And the fear.

“Don’t be nervous Magnus.” Alec’s face changed into determination. “I’ve got you.” Magnus looked up at the Shadowhunter in awe, he saw Alec’s whole stance shift, he suddenly looked sure of what he was doing as if he just realised, he had to be the strong one, the collected one, to catch Magnus when he fell. Magnus felt his nerves kick up another notch despite Alec’s words, he felt that Alec was ready, it made it all more real. This was going to happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S HAPPENING! EVERYONE CALM DOWN! 😂 This chapter was pure Malec fluff and how much we needed it. Did you enjoy their date? Our boys are so in love and Magnus finally said it, he did. Aren't they the cutest?! 😍 Also, they managed to talk a lot, this is new. About Alec, his mom, his problems, Magnus, them. Was there a moment you enjoyed a lot? Thank you all for your feedback, comments and kudos. I read every comment, tweet and notice every new kudo and bookmark, thank you all! 😘


	57. Chapter 57

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Don’t.” Alec breathed and Magnus opened his eyes again. “Don’t leave me Magnus.” Magnus chuckled softly.
> 
> “Sorry.”
> 
> “You won’t be able to relax if you are fleeing from the situation.” Magnus blinked his eyes, knowing he was right, it wasn’t like he was doing this voluntarily. It was a reflex and he was grateful that Alec seemed to be clear headed right now, because he certainly wasn’t.
> 
> “I will try.”
> 
> “Do you want this?” Alec asked again and Magnus breathed a few times and then nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://ibb.co/RbtrBXH)   

> 
> So, we're jumping right in, you might want to reread the end of last chapter to get into it first. Enjoy!

Alec’s fingers snaked down Magnus body and Magnus lips parted with a startled noise as Alec grabbed his dick and stroked it lazily, his eyes rolled back into his head immediately as he leant his head back in the pillow. He felt Alec’s hot lips back on his throat, kissing his bobbing adam’s apple before he went down to the hollow of his throat and further down to his chest, Magnus felt his chest rise and fall, his brow furrowing in pleasure.

“Shit…” Magnus whispered as Alec stroked him quicker, firmer, dragging his foreskin back and forth over his sensitive glans. Magnus twitched a little as Alec reached his nipple and wrapped his lips around it, sucking on it, Magnus grasped Alec’s hair, his fingers dragging the thick dark locks. Pressing him down, before pulling him up and pressing him back down, not really knowing if it was good or too much. Alec lapped over the hard nub with the flat of his tongue and then kissed it before going for his other one, giving it the same affection. Magnus squirmed below him, bucking his hips up and down as Alec’s grip got even tighter.

Magnus was about to warn Alec, to make him stop when Alec stopped himself and let go off his dick, his fingers trailed down between his balls and thighs, he gave them a gentle squeeze, rolling them in his big hand. Magnus expected him to go further down but he went back up again, his hand was off his crotch and he leant above him.

“You can stop this at any time okay?” Alec said. “Promise me you will, if you are uncomfortable.”

“Will it hurt?” Magnus asked a little out of breath and Alec looked taken aback by the direct question, it took him a bit to think about it, pondering what to answer and the realisation that Alec was actually thinking and not saying ‘no’ right away made Magnus wish he hadn’t asked at all. The answer was obviously ‘yes’. Of course, it was yes, he knew it was, he didn’t know why he was asking this, he was a little out of it.

“No. I mean yes. I mean…” Alec closed his eyes for a second and swallowed thickly before opening them again. “It will hurt a little yes, but I will try to minimize the pain as much as possible, if it’s too much we will stop.” Magnus felt his throat run dry. “I will prepare you properly, we did that before, remember?” Magnus nodded. He did remember that. The shower. It had felt amazing.

Alec suddenly leant up and stretched across Magnus, Magnus looked at Alec’s abs, unsurprisingly pleased with the sight before Alec leant back to his former position, he placed the bottle of lube and a condom next to them that Magnus eyed intently. He felt Alec’s finger on his chin, tilting his head back towards Alec. “Keep your eyes on me baby.” He whispered and Magnus’ face softened with the endearment.

Alec leant down and Magnus was again attacked by Alec’s warm lips, the kiss was a little more heated than before, but still gentle. Magnus felt Alec was doing something, putting one and one together, he knew exactly what Alec was doing and it made his heart beat faster.

“Are we, are we doing it like this?” He asked, his voice obviously wavering.

“Yeah, if it’s okay with you. I would like to see you.” Alec answered gentle and Magnus bit his lower lip. The thought of Alec watching him while doing it was kind of…odd, they never really did it face to face, but if he was honest with himself, he wanted to see Alec too, his eyes had that soothing effect on him.

“Ugh.” Magnus gasped as he felt Alec’s hand back on his dick, stroking it slowly but firm, before he stretched his arm further down, his fingers crawling over Magnus perineum while he widened Magnus’ thighs with his own, Magnus pressed himself down into the bed and stared up at the ceiling before he shut his eyes and kept on kissing Alec, trying to distract himself from what was happening down below.

“Don’t.” Alec breathed and Magnus opened his eyes again. “Don’t leave me Magnus.” Magnus chuckled softly.

“Sorry.”

“You won’t be able to relax if you are fleeing from the situation.” Magnus blinked his eyes, knowing he was right, it wasn’t like he was doing this voluntarily. It was a reflex and he was grateful that Alec seemed to be clear headed right now, because he certainly wasn’t.

“I will try.”

“Do you want this?” Alec asked again and Magnus breathed a few times and then nodded.

“I do.” Alec lowered his head and pecked Magnus’ lips while Magnus felt his finger stroke over his puckered skin, his hole twitching to the sensation, it was wet and warm, he kept stroking it in circles, smearing the lube all over it, while their kisses deepened again. Magnus felt a little pressure as he entered him with the tip of his finger, it wasn’t painful, but it wasn’t pleasant either, he remembered that feeling, his knuckles hit Magnus’ ass quickly, this wasn’t difficult. Alec lifted his head for a second to look down at him and then continued to kiss him.

Alec rocked his finger back and forth a few times and it was easy, it felt okay. It wasn’t really a pleasure but it was okay. A second finger brushed his entrance and Magnus felt the pressure increase on his rim as it stretched around Alec’s big fingers. Magnus’ face twitched, almost unnoticeable but Alec immediately stopped and lifted his face again. “You okay?”

“Yeah, it’s okay.” Magnus answered and Alec looked unsure for a moment, he pulled his second finger back again and continued with one, crooking it a little to stroke him from the inside. “Oh…boy.” Magnus gasped and held onto Alec’s strong shoulders as Alec found that ball of nerves inside him, an open mouthed smirk appeared on Alec’s lips, before he licked them sensually and continued to play with Magnus’ prostate. Magnus felt his eyes close and opened his mouth, whimpering and humming in appreciation.

A strong wave of pleasure rocked through his body, coming from his groin and spreading in his belly. His thighs began to tremble next to Alec’s body, he crooked his legs some more and pressed his feet into the mattress, his fingers digging into Alec’s skin on his upper arms. Magnus was enjoying that pleasure Alec was causing with his fingers on his prostate as he felt the pressure increase again. “Breathe.” Alec commanded in a gentle tone and Magnus opened his mouth to let air fill his lungs. “Yeah, like that.”

Alec pushed his pointer and middle finger deeper inside the Warlock when he exhaled, inch by inch, rocking them back and forth in slow motions, feeling the softness of Magnus’ walls around them. It took a while before Alec’s knuckles yet again hit Magnus’ ass cheeks, not after some hissing and squirming and he crooked them once more, rubbing against his prostate again. “God, fucking- shit.” Magnus stuttered and Alec had to bite his lips to not laugh.

“I guess it’s okay?” He said a little proud and Magnus nodded eagerly.

“Yes please.”

“Please?” Alec repeated amused.

“Alexander.” Magnus groaned, not at all in the mood to laugh right now. He was a little occupied and overwhelmed, okay.

“Sorry, I know. I’ve got you Magnus, I told you.” He repeated his words and Magnus felt the urge to grab his own dick and jerk himself off, to feel that release his body was longing for but he didn’t know the protocol for this, if he was allowed to, what Alec’s plan was. Magnus bucked his hips up to get some friction on his dick and rubbed it against Alec’s abdomen. Alec leant back and Magnus gasped at the loss.

He opened his eyes that had shut again and looked down to his boyfriend, one hand hidden from sight and the other went straight to his cock, jerking him in a steady pace. Magnus’ back arched off the bed, his whole body covered in sweat.

“By the angel, you look perfect.” Alec gasped. “You are so sexy Magnus.” Magnus didn’t even fully hear his words; he was too far gone. Alec spread his precum over his dick and Magnus concentrated on his breathing, he sounded like he was running a marathon. Alec kept on jerking him as he added a third finger, pressing it against his hole before he pushed them forward and Magnus suddenly tensed, his body clamping down on him. “Shhhh…” Alec soothed and quickened his pace on his dick to distract him.

Magnus hissed and pulled his hips back. “Ouch.” He gasped more to himself.

“Sorry, does it hurt?” Alec asked concerned and took his hand off his leaking dick to place it down on Magnus’ belly, pressing down a little, stroking it back and forth. “Breathe Magnus, you’re doing great.” Magnus laughed quietly and a little desperate.

“Am I?” He said a little sarcastic and then looked down between them, Alec hadn’t pulled his fingers back but kept them still, waiting for Magnus to relax again.

“Yes, you are. You are doing perfect. Just keep on breathing, relax your body.” Magnus wanted to snort, as if it was that easy. But he was right, Magnus closed his eyes and breathed deep and slow, he concentrated on Alec’s hand on his stomach and then felt the pressure increase again, he wanted to clench down on him but prevented his body from doing so, his fingers pulling on the sheets next to his body. He could do this, he was a grown up man, a Warlock and Alec had done this multiple times before, it was doable.

Magnus grabbed Alec’s hand on his belly and squeezed it tightly as Alec kept on pushing in. Fuck. He felt his body tremble from the effort to relax, to let it happen and the pain increased with every second, a burning sensation on his rim and behind it. Two fingers were already a lot to take but three…were a stretch. “Alexander.” Magnus gasped, feeling he couldn’t go any further and Alec stopped. Magnus swallowed thickly and then looked down to Alec who smiled at him like Magnus just won an award.

“They’re in.” He said almost proud. “You’re good.”

“I’m far from good.” Magnus pressed through his teeth, not sharing the happiness Alec was radiating.

“No Magnus, you are, it will get better I promise.” Alec turned his hand and squeezed Magnus’ right back. The seconds passed by and to Magnus surprise the pain in fact subsided slowly, his body relaxed around his fingers, adjusting to the size. “Does it still hurt?” Alec asked after a few minutes and Magnus shook his head. He began to move his fingers again, pulling them out and back in and it was almost too much. Magnus felt completely open, stretched and the burn was back too even though Alec only moved them a little.

Alec’s brow furrowed as he looked down to his own fingers, he looked troubled Magnus noticed and he didn’t know what to think about this.

“Is everything alright?” Magnus asked a little guarded and Alec shook his head and himself out of his thoughts.

“Yeah sure, of course.” He said a little rushed and Magnus knew that tone, he was hiding something. Magnus rose an accusing eyebrow and Alec inhaled deep and then rose his eyebrows. “You are so tight. I can barely move my fingers.” He explained and Magnus didn’t know what to answer. Thanks?

“It’s something good is it not?” He asked tentatively, maybe a little teasing and Alec pulled his lips into a grimace, his head bobbing aside as if he was thinking and disagreeing. “You said they’re in, so…just give me a moment and it will work, maybe more lube, we can do this.” Magnus said reassuringly, realising he was yet again comforting Alec, he couldn’t help it, even with 3 fingers stuck inside his ass.

“Yeah, but…” He looked up and looked like he was thinking, hard. “My dick is bigger than that.”

Magnus felt his mouth go slack, his eyes widening a tad bit. Bigger? Than? That? He thought the three fingers were enough to prepare him and he was over the worst. This was already almost too much. How was he supposed to do that? Alec saw Magnus whole mood shift, his body tensing back up and cursed himself for scaring him, that wasn’t his intention.

“I’m sorry, shit.” He stuttered and then pulled his fingers out slowly, or rather quick as Magnus pushed them out. Alec licked his lips and then leant down, placing his palms against Magnus thighs before he spread them, lifting them up slightly, Magnus felt his body curl into a ball and gasped in surprise.

“Alexander?” He asked but then watched Alec dive down for his ass and let his head drop back down with a loud moan as Alec’s tongue met his hole. “Oh…god.” He moaned as Alec began to lap at his entrance with the flat of his tongue, the tip dancing around his rim and dipping into him occasionally, fucking him with his tongue while doing unbearable sexy humming noises. Magnus felt his body tremble, a rope of precum dripping from his cock and onto his stomach. Magnus was a mess once Alec stopped; his whole body felt like pudding.

Alec stared at his ass, visibly thinking and judging his work while Magnus felt his cheeks heat up. Alec gently placed him back down and Magnus felt his fingers back on him before they pushed back into his body a little more eagerly and it in fact was easier this time, Alec had them in all the way without much effort and began to move them a little. Magnus still felt the stretch and it was still uncomfortable but it hurt less. He almost sighed relieved once Alec pulled them out again and the burn stopped.

“Can you lift yourself for a second?” Magnus rose his ass without questioning what this was about and watched Alec shove a pillow under his ass.

“What’s that for?” Magnus asked a little out of breath.

“It’ll be easier that way.” Magnus nodded at his words though he didn’t quite get it. Alec pushed Magnus’ thighs apart again that had closed a little and crawled between them and above him, Magnus swallowed instantly and lay back, looking up at the tall Shadowhunter, Alec rested his arms next to Magnus’ head and kept his upper body off the Warlock to not smash him.

His lips went straight to Magnus’ jaw that he bit playfully, they moved to his ear that he nibbled and licked while Magnus turned into butter once more, he wrapped his arms around his boyfriends soft back and pulled him closer.

“Magnus?” Alec asked quietly and Magnus hummed, his eyes closed. He felt Alec’s lips on his eyelids and how Alec widened his legs again with his thighs. “Magnus?” Alec asked again.

“Yes?” He answered this time.

“Look at me, please.” Magnus opened his eyes to look into Alec’s shimmering ones above him. A vein showing on his forehead. “If it’s too much, tell me okay?” He said again and Magnus could hear the command in his tone. Magnus dug his fingers into Alec’s skin as he realised what Alec was saying, he was going to push himself in now, this was really happening. Magnus looked up at Alec with wide eyes, searching his face, he felt unsure, nervous, overwhelmed, everything, not knowing what he was to expect was a little too much for him. But he wanted this.

“Okay.” He gasped as he felt his breathing pick up again, jerky puffs of air leaving his lips and hitting Alec’s face. He felt Alec’s heart against his ribcage, his breath against his own skin. He felt that Alec was just as nervous. Alec grabbed Magnus’ thighs below his knees and pulled them up a little, Magnus understood and wrapped his legs around Alec’s lower back. He was so hot, so close and slightly sweaty. This was so intimate and he wasn’t even inside him yet.

“Okay.” Alec repeated and then reached down between their bodies, Magnus felt something press against his entrance a second after, he felt how hot it was. Magnus felt his rim widen as he pressed against him, he pulled his arm back up and rested them next to Magnus’ head again, never leaving Magnus with his eyes as he angled his hips forward, pushing further against him, Magnus felt the stretch, it was unpleasant and burned. Magnus lips parted as he stretched his neck back, his chin tilting up as Alec moved forward to get his tip inside.

“Alec…Alexander.” Magnus gasped through his gritted teeth and his hands lowered to Alec’s hips on each side, gripping them tightly, slightly pushing against him and the intrusion.

“It’s okay Magnus. Breathe, you can do this.” Alec said breathlessly and Magnus felt like he was going to rip apart. “You nearly got it, just a little more.” Alec encouraged; Magnus breath was ragged.

“It’s too big.” Magnus gasped. Not at all minding how whiny he sounded at the moment. His brain was practically off.

“Do you want me to stop?” Alec asked breathlessly and stopped his movement, feeling unsure himself. “I don’t want to hurt you.” Magnus quickly realised one thing; no, he didn’t want him to stop. He wanted to feel him inside, as painful as this was right now, there was no way around this initial pain, he could delay it, do it another time, but it would still happen and he wanted it to happen, for himself, for Alec, for them.

“No, it’s okay, I can do this.” Magnus now said to himself, repeating Alec’s words. “Just keep going.”

“Magnus...”

“Please. Just do it.” Magnus said right away and Alec pressed his lips together. He watched him for a moment, contemplating about his options and then showed determination on his face as he came to a result in his head.

“It will get better I promise you, it will only hurt for a moment, okay?” Magnus nodded his head shakily and Alec did the same. “I love you Magnus.”

“I love you too.” Magnus gasped and felt tears in his eyes, he wasn’t afraid, well maybe a little, but it was the love he felt for the man above him, who was so careful, so loving and gentle and was taking Magnus’ emotions seriously.

Alec lowered himself onto Magnus and wrapped his arm around Magnus lower back, holding onto him, Magnus felt his whole weight on himself holding him down, grounding him, his muscles against his own, his hair, his sweat, his smell surrounding him. Magnus lifted his hands from his hips and let go off them, giving Alec freedom to move, holding onto Alec’s shoulders, digging his fingers into his skin, his face next to Alec’s.

Magnus felt the pressure decrease for a moment and breathed out almost relieved, before Alec suddenly thrusted himself forward in a quick motion, an aborted cry echoed through the bedroom as Magnus’ body went rigid, he clung onto Alec’s body who held him tightly, his face turned into a grimace and nestled against Alec’s shoulder. His hole clenched down hard and it was only then that Magnus realised what just happened, he felt Alec inside of him, he felt huge and he had the urge to push him back out instantly.

Alec lifted himself a little to stroke Magnus’ face with one hand, kissing the other side of his face eagerly, before pressing their lips together, kissing him passionately and with all the love he had, completely overwhelmed with the feeling. “Magnus?” He asked as he realised that Magnus was barely kissing him back. Magnus opened his teary eyes, looking back up and into concerned hazel eyes. “Are you okay?” His voice trembled as he kept on stroking Magnus’ face to make the pain go away.

Magnus nodded, not trusting his ability to speak right now. He didn’t exactly know what to say, or feel, or do, the moment Alec had entered him had been awfully painful and to be honest it still was, the pressure was almost unbearable as well as the feeling of that foreign object inside of his body.

“Sorry if I hurt you, I didn’t want the pain to drag on like this, I thought it’s better to do it quick.” Alec explained and kept on kissing and stroking Magnus, now wondering if he made a mistake. “Magnus, say something please.” Alec said, his voice almost breaking.

“Hurts...” Magnus admitted in a whisper, his nose scrunched before he chuckled lightly. Alec made a hissing sound as if he felt Magnus’ pain, his brow furrowed. “But…I think it was a good choice not to warn me and do it quick.” Magnus looked down between them but only saw Alec’s chest and stomach. “Are you- I mean, you are in now right?” Magnus asked, knowing it was a stupid question, both felt he was.

“Yeah. I am. But not far, only my tip.”

“Only your…” Magnus repeated and his eyes widened again. “I thought you’re in completely.”

“Well, not yet.” Thinking that he wasn’t even in far in made him feel things. He didn’t know if he could do this.

“You feel so big.” Alec opened his mouth to answer something but then pressed them together again and decided to concentrate on Magnus instead of doing remarks about that and kept on kissing him gently. They stayed like that for a few minutes, only kissing and stroking each other, or more Alec did while Magnus tried to relax, tried to breathe.

“Does it still hurt?” Magnus nodded gently and lifted his hand to Alec’s face cupping his cheek and stroking him softly, his eyes flicking from one to the other, Alec looked concerned and awfully wrecked.

“How are you?” Magnus asked and Alec’s face suddenly lit up, a little laugh came from his lips.

“How I am? I am…I am inside you Magnus…I am perfect.” Magnus beamed up at him. “This feels so amazing…I…-“ he stopped and Magnus noticed how overwhelmed he was. This wasn’t only a first time for Magnus but for Alec too and for them.

“You are.” Magnus said softly.

“I’ll go slow.” He whispered deep and reassuringly and Magnus nodded again, their foreheads touched. He knew they had to ‘start’ at some point, but Magnus didn’t quite know how to feel, it still hurt like hell, but they couldn’t stay still like that forever and maybe it got better once they began to actually have sex.

“Yes, please.” Magnus added with a chuckle and Alec smiled down at him before he tilted his hips forward, pressing further into Magnus while watching every twitch, every frown and wrinkle of his face, not wanting to miss a sign of discomfort.

Magnus felt him move forward inside him and fought against the urge to back off, to push him out, to whimper, it was a lot, he hated that this was so hard for him, why was this so hard? Alec never looked like that when they had fucked, he never seemed to have any kind of pain, but then again Magnus’ dick was a little smaller than Alec’s and also he has done it many times before, his hole was probably used to him as weird as it sounded, also he knew the tricks, how to breathe, how to relax, it was just easier for him. Still he felt like he was doing something wrong.

He really didn’t want to disappoint Alec in any way, he didn’t want Alec to feel like he was ruining something again, he was trying so hard to make this right and he deserved this, but fuck. Alec stopped moving forward and pulled back out a little again, before going forward once more and halting again, it was no swift movement, he went forward in tiny steps like he was digging into him, back and forth. “You are so tight Magnus.” Alec breathed and it sounded almost pained.

“I’m sorry.” Magnus said right away, forgetting about his own pain as he feared he was hurting Alec in any way. “I will to relax more, it’s just-“

“No Magnus no, please…urgh sorry I didn’t mean it like that.” He rushed, brushing his thumb over Magnus’ brow gently. “It’s completely normal, just breathe slowly, we can do this, we have all the time in the world.” Magnus smiled and leaned up to snatch another kiss from Alec’s lips, feeling all that love that came from Alec, with his words, his actions, his body, everything. Alec sunk into Magnus more and more.

Alec let his head drop next to Magnus’ and then snuggled his face against his, kissing his cheek lazily before whispering. “This might be over sooner than expected.” Magnus laughed loud before the sudden movement of their bodies with his laughter made him hiss.

“Ah, don’t make me laugh.”

“Don’t make me cum.” Alec whispered.

“Alexander.”

“Magnus.”

“Stop this.” Magnus said slapping Alec’s back playfully. Alec moaned softly as his hips were flush with Magnus’ ass and Magnus just then realised that, he hadn’t even felt it because Alec was distracting him so mu-..oh…”Thanks…” Magnus whispered and Alec kissed his earlobe before he lifted himself onto his stretched out arms, only their lower part connected and Magnus’ hands fell to his front, he placed them on the V of Alec’s abdomen, holding his hips gently to have some kind of control.

Alec pulled himself back and rolled back forward and into Magnus, it was a drag and it burned, he did it again and again, but slowly, gently and Magnus fought the urge to hiss at every move, though the soft and pleased noises Alec made were really getting him, he obviously enjoyed this, of course he was, being inside Alec was the best feeling ever and Alec probably felt the same. Alec’s lips were pressed together tightly, his jaw clenched, he looked concentrated and like he was doing hard work.

But it still hurt, a lot and he thought about just swallowing it down a for second, to just breathe through it and take what Alec gave him, let Alec enjoy this moment, it was in fact a beautiful sight to Magnus and he could at least cherish this moment with him and what they were doing. But he had promised something and he didn’t want to start lying again.

“Alexander.” Magnus whispered not really wanting to startle Alec but he had to. “Is the pain supposed to go away at some point?” Alec halted immediately and looked down at Magnus.

“Yes, it should, does it still hurt?”

“Kind of.”

“But- but do you feel the good stuff too?” He cringed at his own words; he was a little overwhelmed by the situation. “I mean, the pleasure, do you feel it?” He stuttered and Magnus hated to crash his hopes like that.

“No…it just hurts.” Magnus said honestly hoping to not hurt Alec with that. Alec actually looked troubled, a little dumbfounded, like he didn’t know what to do, what to say. Magnus hated how he made him feel like this on their first time, he shouldn’t have said anything.

“Let me just…” He said and then leant back and pulled himself out almost all the way which was a terrible stretch and then grabbed the lube, pouring some more on his own dick and Magnus before he leant forward again. He lay down on Magnus completely, only his hips moving lightly while he kissed Magnus’ throat, to his ear and nibbled it between his plump lips.

Magnus felt his body move up and down with every thrust, his stomach muscles clenching and unclenching, the drag inside his body, he felt stabbed, with a broom. He wished he could feel something good, anything, of course he felt the joy from being one with Alec and also the way his body grinded on his and against his dick, the way his lips attacked his ear it all was pleasurable but the sex itself gave him nothing. And he felt like an asshole for even thinking that.

He breathed slowly, closing his eyes for a moment as he felt his own heartbeat in his ass before something else added onto it, another pulse, rhythmic and steady, Alec’s. Which reminded him in the best way possible that this was no object inside of him but Alec, his boyfriend, he was actually inside his body. They were…one. Magnus opened his eyes again, looking straight into Alec’s. Magnus felt how the thought unlocked something inside him, his body relaxed a little, he welcomed the feeling of him.

Alec sunk back deeper into his body and both gasped gently, feeling the change and Alec began to roll his hips slightly.

Magnus gasped as Alec picked up the speed a little, the rolls of his hips suddenly turning into back and forth motions and Magnus’ mouth went slack as he inhaled sharply, Alec leant back with his head, his lips apart as well as they panted against each other’s face, occasional moans leaving Alec’s lips which made Magnus shiver.

Alec sped up again more with each second as he began to really fuck him, his hips hitting Magnus’ ass cheeks and there it was, something inside him suddenly lit up, a pleasure he never knew before spread in his abdomen, it grew with each thrust and his dick twitched back to life. He grabbed Alec’s arms desperately.

“Urgh…what…” he stuttered before his eyes rolled into his head, he threw it back as Alec began to pound into him mercilessly. “Oh fuck…oh fuck…fuck…” Magnus chanted, his fingers digging into Alec’s skin. His dick was rock hard within seconds and leaked precum on his stomach, his balls turning deep red and drawing up. What the fuck was this, what was happening?

He tried to open his eyes, managing only slits as he eyed his boyfriend, his head hanging low, his mouth wide open, his eyes clenched shut, sweat was forming on his forehead and dropping down his face, oh he shouldn’t have looked. Alec opened his eyes a little and looked completely wrecked, like he was a second away from cumming. Cumming…

Magnus suddenly realised that he wouldn’t be able to feel Alec’s cum inside himself and the thought shouldn’t be as disappointing as it was, Alec had always praised how good it felt, how special it was and Magnus wanted this too.

He suddenly grabbed Alec’s hips and made him stop, Alec gasped desperately, his brow furrowed, his mouth still slacked. “Take it off.” Magnus gasped completely out of breath and Alec’s face turned into a confused grimace. “The condom, take it off.” Magnus clarified and it took Alec a second to understand the words before he shook his head a little.

“But-“

“Please, I want to feel you, you and not the condom.” Alec scanned his face, panting hard and then mumbled something below his breath before he pulled himself out and reached down, he pinched the wet condom and dragged it off his dick in one swift and haste movement, throwing it across the room before he dropped back down on Magnus and thrusted himself back home, both moaned loudly because it was way too quick and painful too. Alec didn’t seem to have much patience left at the moment. The pain quickly vanished though as he began to move again.

Their lips connected again, it was sloppy and messy and uncoordinated due to their movements but it was amazing, Alec’s strong body dragged over his own, over his dick, while his balls slapped against his ass, his impossibly hard cock moved inside him and fuck, it felt so different, he could actually feel his hot skin, knowing that there was no layer between them anymore was unbearable hot. Alec seemed to feel the same because he looked even more wrecked, like he was trying to hold onto his sanity.

It was too much, way too much. Magnus desperately grabbed his own cock, almost painfully hard and jerked himself roughly. “Alexander.” Magnus breathed into his face. “Alexander…” Alec’s eyes stared right into his soul. “I’m- I’m gonna-“ he stammered as the pleasure was overwhelming him inside and out. Alec quickened the pace once more, fucking him hard and Magnus was fucked right into oblivion as the world around him turned white and then black. He felt his cum leave his body, spurting out of dick in waves and landing between their stomachs, covering their bodies. His whole body began to tremble, his thighs shivered hard and his hole clenched down on Alec.

“Shit.” Alec groaned as he lost his rhythm, his thrusts becoming erratic as his moans grew louder and his body tensed up. “I’m cumming.” Alec almost shouted before his body began to spasm, a ripple going through his muscles as he pushed deep inside of Magnus with one last thrust and halted there. Magnus hissed at how deep he was but then felt his dick throb inside of him, something hot fill him up and it felt amazing. He watched his boyfriend orgasm in awe, knowing he had caused this.

Alec collapsed on Magnus, his breathing rough and jerky and Magnus slid his hands over his sweaty back, stroking him comfortingly, before Alec shifted a little, his face turned to Magnus who turned his face to Alec as well, their noses almost touching.

“Hey.” Magnus whispered with a small smile and Alec opened his eyes, his long eyelashes fluttering over his cheeks.

“Hey.” Magnus smiled wider, he sounded so done. “Did you pass out?”

“I did…” Magnus answered tentatively.

“From pain or-?”

“Pleasure. Pure pleasure darling.” Alec chuckled lightly and then kissed Magnus’ nose.

“Then…you are welcome.” Magnus rolled his eyes and laughed before Alec joined in, he lifted his hips and Magnus grimaced as he felt him leave his body, the pain suddenly rushing back to him tenfold. Alec rolled off of him and onto his side before he shuffled closer to Magnus who lay there unmoving, feeling awfully open, sore and…empty. “But seriously, are you okay?” Alec asked, putting his hand back on Magnus belly and stroking him.

“I am perfect Alexander.” Magnus answered, looking his way again.

“No pain?”

“I didn’t say that…” Alec huffed quietly.

“I have an anaesthetic ointment in the bathroom. Wait a second.” He said and then rushed out of the bed before Magnus had the time to answer him. He returned a few seconds later with a washing cloth and a little jar. He sat down next to Magnus who had carefully removed the pillow below himself. Alec began to wash Magnus’ stomach and chest, cleaning him off the cum while Magnus eyed the jar in his hand.

“Why do you have an anaesthetic here?” Alec looked up with raised eyebrows and Magnus shut his mouth. “Okay, I don’t want to know.” Alec smiled lightly and then opened the jar.

“Do you want to do it?” He asked and Magnus nodded. He trusted Alec but he felt so sensitive and sore right now that he didn’t want anyone near his body. Alec handed him the jar and Magnus dipped his fingers inside before going for his asshole and brushing his entrance with it, Magnus pressed his jaw together not wanting to make pained noises now. He removed his hand and closed the jar again before handing it to Alec who put it on the nightstand next to Magnus bed. “I will go take a quick shower okay? I would ask you to come along but I think…you would prefer to-“

“Yes, leave me here, please.” Magnus interrupted him, shooing him away with his fingers. He wouldn’t get up right now, for anyone.

“I’ll be right back.” Magnus listened to the water run in the bathroom and felt himself drift off, he felt exhausted, mentally, physically. He also felt enlightened, happy and satisfied though. But it was late and it was a lot. Alec returned soon after and came into bed quickly, Magnus smelled the familiar scent of sandalwood on him as Alec closed the distance and pressed himself against Magnus back from behind, wrapping his arms around the Warlock. He still felt slightly wet.

“I love you Magnus.” Alec whispered and Magnus breathed slowly, softly, only a light hum escaping his lips. “So much…”

“I love you too.” Magnus whispered before Alec felt his body relax in his arms as he fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooooooooooooooooooo this was my longest chapter so far. 6k of sex and emotions. No r"a"grets. This scene needed all the words and attention because it was something very special, to them, to me and hopefully to y'all. Alec really snatched Magnus Bane's virginity 😎 They are now each other's firsts and that's both weird and romantic 😍 What did you think of their first time? Did it go as expected? Or were you surprised? Thanks so much for all the comments and kudos on the last one. You guys are amazing 😘


	58. Chapter 58

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Thanks for the dinner…it was amazing.” He said sauntering closer.
> 
> “You’re welcome.” Alec whispered with a smile, looking down at him. “Are you having fun?” He asked quietly and placed his hands on Magnus’ hips. Magnus smiled wider.
> 
> “I do.” Magnus heard a little rustling noise from aside and looked to his right, Alec following the motion when they met 5 pair of eyes that turned away startled. Magnus chuckled lightly.
> 
> “It’s so good to see you two back together.” Clary then said, you could hear the emotions in her voice. Magnus smiled at her shyly and a little proud.
> 
> “So, who’s in for a game?” Simon shouted, clapping his hands together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://ibb.co/dM7bK4D)   


Magnus awoke to a sharp pain cursing through his body, he groaned before even completely awake and fingered his way to the source of the pain, but somehow this was harder than usual. Only then Magnus noticed the weight on him. Alec’s arm and leg were draped over him. Alec. He looked aside and blinked his sticky eyes open. His mouth rested against Magnus’ shoulder and he snored softly. Peacefully. Last night. The memories hit him with full force, fuck he had sex, with Alec, right…that was the pain.

He shifted a little to get out of Alec’s grip when he felt something run down between his ass cheeks. Magnus stared at the ceiling for a moment, hoping to god he didn’t just piss himself, but no…he wasn’t. He didn’t. What the-

Oh. He remembered what it was.

To Magnus surprise…the thought was oddly satisfying. He had slept with Alec’s cum inside of him and it was still there, well it was trying to flee but there wasn’t much he could do about that. He lay still for a moment, appreciating the feeling.

To be honest, the sex with Alec was just as he had expected it to be. Painful and hard. That’s why he never wanted to do it before. But there was also something he didn’t expect…that he loved it. Loved to feel Alec inside of him, to feel him move, to feel he enjoyed it too. That he caused these feelings for him, the pleasure. That completely took him by surprise and in the end, it did feel amazing, to be one with the man he loved in that way.

And Alec was more than gentle, Magnus felt that he tried and he appreciated the effort a lot. He would never forget that moment.

A little gasp shook Magnus out of his thoughts, Alec moved closer, snuggling his face into Magnus’ neck and then rested there. Alright, maybe he could stay a little longer.

Magnus felt something slide down between his legs again after a few minutes and then cursed internally. Okay, he really needed to get this cleaned. But…he really didn’t want to leave Alec. This was a dilemma.

He reached aside and grabbed some tissues from his nightstand then reached down below the sheets and tried to clean himself between the thighs very gracefully…not. He was about to put the tissues aside when his breath hitched. The tissues were bright red. What…He looked down on himself and back up. Oh fuck. He quickly glanced over to Alec to see if he was still asleep and then threw the tissues aside, only to watch them swing in the air a foot away and land on the bed. “Fucking sh-“

Alec moved beside him and Magnus stared at him and quickly patted his head to lull him back to sleep. There was no way Alec could ever see that, he didn’t need to be a genius to know that Alec would freak the fuck out.

He tried to shift a little and get out of Alec’s tight embrace but he was clinging onto him like a sloth. He managed to push his leg away and lifted Alec’s arm in the air when his eyes met Alec’s wide open hazel ones.

“Ugh…”

“What are you doing?” Alec asked a little sleepy, his arm still up.

“Nothing.” Magnus let it drop again and looked at the ceiling, totally unsuspiciously. Alec squinted an eye and then draped his leg over Magnus again, pulling him closer.

“G’morning.” He rasped and kissed Magnus neck. Magnus shivered.

“Good morning.”

“How did you sleep? How do you feel?” He asked and placed soft pecks on his skin between the words.

“Good. Perfect. I’m fine. Thanks.” Magnus rushed and Alec stopped the kisses immediately and lifted his head. Magnus felt his gaze on his eyes but didn’t dare to look.

“What’s going on?” He asked his voice a little deeper and Magnus cursed the 100th time. He was shit at hiding things.

“I’m good, really. Nothing.”

“You are stuttering.”

“I am not.”

“You are sweating.” Magnus quickly fingered his forehead, it was dry.

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Magnus…” He pressed and Magnus rolled his eyes with a sigh.

“I’m just feeling a little…sticky, I need to take a shower.”

“Oh.” Alec said and then relaxed. “I get it, do you want me to help you?”

Magnus snorted. “I can still move thank you.”

“Was just offering.” Magnus shifted a little so his backside was facing the other way and brought some space between them, Alec rolled onto his side, following him a little with a sheepish smile and then frowned for a second, he looked down to the sheets and Magnus paled. Oh no. Magnus swung forward and slammed his palm onto the sheets to hold them down, Alec gasped and stared at Magnus, confusion showing on his face. Magnus grinned widely until his cheeks hurt.

“What are you hiding?”

“Nothing.” He whispered through his teeth, smile still on his face. Alec tugged on the sheets and Magnus put more weight on them. Their eyes met and Alec’s showed a dangerous sparkle before he tugged harder, Magnus pulled on them desperately to keep them in place. “No no no Alec, wait-“ Alec, threw them aside in one swift and strong movement that Magnus would have appreciated any other day and then gasped loudly.

“Oh god, what-“ Alec whispered. Magnus opened his eyes to see a huge red stain on the sheets, looking like someone was murdered. He looked up to Alec with a grimace.

“Don’t freak out…”

“Magnus, you are- are- is that your blood? Are you bleeding?” He stuttered, his eyes wide open and Magnus sighed. Alec all but jumped off the bed and stood there in shock for a moment. “Oh god I did that…”

“Darling…” Magnus gasped and looked up to him, shaking his head a little. “It’s not your fault,”

“It is Magnus. I hurt you.”

“Yes, but I wanted it, just like you, we wanted this. And it was amazing, okay?” Alec swallowed and stared at the stain like in trance.

“I should have been more careful.”

“You were-“ Magnus sighed again. “Alexander…you were careful, trust me okay, you were perfect.” Alec looked up to Magnus, his face still showing pure regret. “It was perfect to me.” Alec’s features softened by the second before a deep frown replaced the shock.

“Is it still bleeding?”

“Not right now…no.”

“Can I have a look?” Magnus’ eyes widened.

“You want to look at my asshole?”

“To see if you’re okay, what’s the cause of the bleeding.” Magnus lifted his chin, his face showing pure horror.

“Ehm…No. No. No. No.” He shook his head and tried to turn away from Alec.

“Magnus.”

“No.” Alec groaned and then walked to Magnus’ front and crouched down so he was on Magnus’ eye level, his elbows leaning on his thighs. He stared at him intently and Magnus felt his stubbornness melt away.

“Please…”

“Okay.” Magnus rolled his eyes and Alec smiled, before he reached for Magnus’ cheek with his palm, giving it a little stroke of his thumb. “You are annoying do you know that?”

“And you are stubborn.” Magnus snorted. “Lay down for me okay?” Magnus lay down on his back and then turned over to press his face into the pillow. Hoping the bed would just take him.

He felt Alec’s hands on his ass cheeks and how he spread them. Please…someone just stab him.

“Okay…looks fine. Good. Ehm.” Magnus heard Alec’s heavy breathing. “It doesn’t look like something’s ripped, just a little red. Sore. Oh- wait.” Magnus lay his head aside onto his cheek.

“What?”

“I see something…”

“What?!” Magnus asked again a little louder. “What do you see Alexander?”

“Can I? Uhm, bite something.”

“What?!” He parroted for the third time and then felt a finger on his hole, he quickly pulled the sheets up and bit into the edge before he felt Alec pull his asshole apart a little. Magnus groaned loudly and felt his thighs shake before Alec stopped it again.

“Sorry baby, sorry. I won’t do it again.” Alec quickly soothed him and kissed his ass cheek. “You okay?” Magnus let go off the sheet and smacked his lips, breathing through the pain.

“Fine.” He felt the bed dip and heard Alec move, he returned quickly.

“I’ll put some ointment on it okay?” Magnus nodded and then felt the cold liquid. It felt good. “I’m sorry…” Alec said again with regret lacing his voice.

Magnus turned around on the bed and then narrowed his eyes at Alec with a pout.

“Sorry!”

“Now tell me…what’s wrong?”

“Your skin’s ripped on one side, a little further in. I think it will heal on its own, or we will have Izzy-“

“Oh no not that again. How many times do I have to tell you that I won’t have your sister look at my ass. Won’t you stop offering?” Alec laughed and Magnus had to laugh along despite his horror.

“Yeah I’ll stop. Okay. I just want you to be okay. I love you.”

“I love you too Alexander.” Magnus got up to sit and cupped Alec’s cheeks. “More than you’ll ever know.”

“I think I know.” Magnus smiled widely and blinked his eyes slowly.

“Thank you for last night. I meant what I said, this was amazing. I am glad it was you…” Alec looked at him for a moment, scanning his face and Magnus saw his eyes getting wet.

“We are each other’s first now Magnus.” Magnus felt his eyebrow twitch and then realized what he was saying. He was right. They were.

“Well…that is weird.” Alec chuckled. “Was your first time like that?” He asked a little shy.

“It was wonderful…and quick.”

“Quick?”

“I was a little excited.” Magnus laughed loudly.

“So, I guess it wasn’t so painful for you? That’s good.”

“You were really gentle…” Alec whispered and took Magnus’ hand in his to kiss his palm. “It was painful but…well…you know me, I like pain apparently. Also your d-“

“If you’re going to point out my size now I will slap you.” Alec pressed his lips together. “I have a very decent size, mind you.”

“You have.” Magnus nodded.

“I wish I could remember…I mean, I wish I was there, I mean- you know.” Magnus stuttered. “I can’t wait for it to happen…in the future.” Alec looked up at him. “Will I remember you?”

“Remember me?”

“I mean…when I go back to my time and meet you in the future…will I know what happened between us?” Alec looked like someone slapped him, he was pale suddenly and then swallowed thickly.

“I don’t know.” He said gently, a little confused. Magnus nodded again, more to himself. Those thoughts were a little too much for him, it gave him headaches.

“I hope you enjoyed this.” Magnus suddenly said and Alec tilted his head.

“Enjoyed what?”

“The sex. Because that was the last time I let you do that.”

“What?” Magnus laughed at Alec’s frightened expression and then bit his lower lip teasingly. Alec’s lip quirked up too and the tension finally fell off them again.

“I’ll go take a shower.” Magnus said and then kissed Alec’s forehead gently before he slid off the bed with a groan. He stuttered to the bathroom door and took his shower.

A buzzing sound startled Alec out of his trance and he reached for his phone.

“Yeah?” – “Alec? Where are you?” – “Uhm, I’m…eh-“ - “Are you okay? You didn’t come home last night.” – “I am okay Iz-“ Magnus began to sing in the shower and Alec cursed, holding a palm to the phone. “Who was that?” – “Uhm…” There was silence on the other end. “Oh my god, you are not alone. Alec, how could you?” Izzy yelled through the phone and Alec shook his head even though she couldn’t see it. “No Izzy, no it’s not like that.” – “Then what is it like? I know your sleepy voice, it’s early in the morning and I just heard a male voice. Alec do I need to remind you that you are engaged and also kind of have a boyfriend which is weird enough but-“ – “I’m with Magnus Iz!” Silence again settled over them.

“You are…what? You are with Magnus? Did you sleep there?” – “Yeah.” – “Are you- are you guys together again?” – “We were never separated Iz, we just needed some time to ourselves…or more Magnus did.” – “Oh…okay.” Izzy’s voice softened. “I am happy for you big brother, really I am.” – “Thank you…I’m happy too.” Alec said with a smile. “I will take care of everything here, you enjoy the time with him okay?” – “Izzy you don’t have to-“ – “Yes I do, I insist. Bye Alec.” – “Bye Izzy. Love you.”

Alec got out of bed and went to the bathroom to see Magnus dry himself. “Izzy knows.”

“That’s good. Is it not?” He said and covered his hips with the towel.

“Yeah, I guess.” Alec said and leant on the treshold with a sigh. “She actually sounded happy.” Magnus smiled. He missed them, Izzy, Simon, Clary, Jace, all of them. He lived with them for months and since everything was settled between Alec and him it all seemed so distant, so long ago, like a bad dream, he didn’t feel anger anymore or anything related, he actually felt content. But their presence was missing, their voices.

“Maybe we can invite them over?” Alec looked up a little confused.

“Them?” Magnus gasped at himself, of course Alec wasn’t in his head.

“Izzy, Simon, Clary, Jace…them. Have dinner together or play games or something…” He said with a shrug.

“Would you want that?” Alec asked a bit hesitantly.

“I miss them…” Magnus whispered and looked down.

“We could do that. Maybe Raphael too?” Alec said smiling.

“Really? Is that…is that okay for you?”

“Yeah sure.”

“I would love that.”

“I will write them a text, let’s say 6?” Magnus nodded eagerly and Alec leant forward and pressed his lips on Magnus’. Magnus hummed into the kiss with a smile before Alec parted. “You smell good.”

“You smell better.”

“Nonsense.”

“Go write them and don’t distract me.” Magnus said and walked past him but not before giving Alec a smack on the ass. Alec swung around obviously shocked.

“Who are you.”

“A well fucked man Alexander.” Alec chuckled and watched Magnus move to his closet to get dressed. He watched him longer than was needed and then went to shower, before he texted his siblings and friends.

“Oh and you are cooking.” Magnus shouted before he left the bedroom.

\---

Magnus all but ran through the loft, scaring Chairman away as he heard the knock on the door, he slithered the last few inches and slammed against the door with a loud thud, cursing the floor and himself before he regained his posture and opened the door.

Magnus stared at the 3 Shadowhunters in front of him that were talking with each other enthusiastically, they stopped as they noticed Magnus and Magnus could feel his heart pound against his chest. It was so good to see them, to have them here, his face scrunched into a grimace, a desperate smile on his lips as he tried not to cry in front of them, Clary and Izzy immediately reached forward and embraced Magnus in a tight hug.

Magnus felt another pair of arms wrap around them and smelled Jace awful penetrant perfume. This was it. That’s what he’s been missing, it all clicked back into place, the last puzzle piece finally settling in and making him feel whole again.

“Group hug!” Another voice exclaimed and Magnus felt another weight on him, realising quickly that it was Simon’s voice.

“Never mind me.” Raphael said as he passed the lump of people and headed into the loft just as Alec came out of the kitchen, gloves on his hands, their eyes met for a second before they averted them, a little blush spreading on Alec’s face. He looked towards the entrance seeing the others and frowned. A long sigh came from the vampire beside him as both men watched the hugging pile.

“Enough.” Alec said as he swatted the others away from Magnus gently, giving his boyfriend some space. Magnus inhaled deeply and then turned to Izzy and Simon who he hadn’t seen in what felt like ages.

“Magnus…” Simon said, his voice sounded weak and Magnus felt all the emotions bubble up inside of him, he cupped Simon’s cheeks with a wide smile and then leant forward and kissed his forehead. Alec’s eyebrow quirked up before he blinked his eyes a few times and then turned to leave. It wasn’t like he minded it but he didn’t get it either, he decided to just let them be. Magnus turned to Izzy and then pulled her into a tight hug.

“I missed you all…so much.” Clary nodded to his words and Jace patted his shoulder roughly before he made his way inside and to Alec. “So, enough of that, come in.” He closed the door and grabbed all their jackets, hanging them. “Feel at home.” He said with a welcoming gesture before he realised, they have probably been here many times before, more often than he himself.

Simon joined Raphael near the balcony while Izzy went into the kitchen and began to prepare the big dining table in the living room. Jace chatted with Alec in the kitchen who was busy cooking. Magnus stood still for a second, only admiring the view, his friends, in his loft, with him, so easy and relaxed. Chatting and enjoying each other. Yes, this was it.

He went to his drinking cart and prepared a few drinks for them.

They laughed and chatted away, seated around the table after finishing their desert, a mousse au chocolate, the atmosphere was light. They began to settle on the couches when Magnus snapped his fingers to have the table and everything disappear, Alec sent him a proud smirk and Magnus closed the distance to his boyfriend.

“Thanks for the dinner…it was amazing.” He said sauntering closer.

“You’re welcome.” Alec whispered with a smile, looking down at him. “Are you having fun?” He asked quietly and placed his hands on Magnus’ hips. Magnus smiled wider.

“I do.” Magnus heard a little rustling noise from aside and looked to his right, Alec following the motion when they met 5 pair of eyes that turned away startled. Magnus chuckled lightly.

“It’s so good to see you two back together.” Clary then said, you could hear the emotions in her voice. Magnus smiled at her shyly and a little proud.

“So, who’s in for a game?” Simon shouted, clapping his hands together.

“Like what? I’m not into board games.” Izzy said while brushing her hair back.

“I love monopoly!” Clary yelled and was met with a few groans.

“Oh god please shoot me.” Jace let himself drop on the couch.

“What? What do you wanna play?”

“Strip poker?” Clary hit his thigh and he mouthed an Ow before rubbing it.

“There is no way I am getting naked in front of my brothers.” Izzy exclaimed.

“Do you have a playstation or something?” Jace asked and Magnus frowned, not knowing what that was.

“Truth or dare?” Clary suggested.

“Why don’t we let Magnus decide.” Alec interfered and placed his hand on Magnus’ lower back beside him, Magnus eyes widened and he opened and closed his mouth like a fish for a few seconds being caught off guard. They silenced and waited for him to speak up.

“Let’s do that, what Clary said.” He stuttered while pointing at her with one finger, his drink in hand. He didn’t know what it was but Clary had a good sense of things, this must be a good game. Clary beamed at him and gave him a pointy finger with a clicking noise of her tongue. Magnus didn’t get it.

Everyone settled on the couches, popcorn, drinks and chips in hands, Jace and Simon settled on one side while Raphael sat in the yellow armchair, Chairman on his lap, Alec, Magnus and Izzy sat on the other side, they chatted a little more eagerly now, everyone being a little tipsy by now with Magnus filling up their drinks magically whenever they got empty.

Clary emerged from the kitchen with a bottle and a bowl with folded papers in hands and placed both on the table before she sat in front of it on the ground. Simon grinned widely; he had helped Clary write down stuff before.

Magnus looked over to Alec who had bright red cheeks probably from the alcohol and gave him a soft kiss on it, Alec quickly looked aside a little startled and then smiled softly. Magnus mouthed an “I love you” and Alec mouthed it back.

“Ready?” Clary asked and grabbed the bottle. They nodded and she made the bottle spin and everyone watched it intently until it landed on Simon. “Truth or dare?”

“Dare.” Simon said obviously excited and Clary smirked.

“Do 5 one handed push ups.” He read and then snorted before getting up and walking to the ground before quickly doing the task without much effort. He jumped up to his feet again. “Vampire.” He said shrugging and sat back down; Izzy wiggled her eyebrows at her boyfriend. Clary swirled the bottle again and it landed on Alec.

“Truth or Dare?”

“None?”

“Alec!” Izzy spat, shoving him with her shoulder.

“Right, ehmmm…truth.” He said a little lost and Clary handed him the bowl.

“You gotta pick a yellow one.” He grabbed one of the yellow ones and opened it.

“No.”

“Oh, come on! This is no fun if you don’t play along. Everyone has to play along whatever it is, that’s the game.” Izzy scolded and Alec sighed. “What does it say?”

“Did you ever masturbate in the presence of others, your partner not included.” Alec said with pink cheeks. “Who writes these?” He looked at Clary and Simon. “That is highly inappropriate.” Simon shrugged with a smirk and took another sip of his bottle while Clary lowered her face with a laugh, they were obviously a little too gone or maybe Alec didn’t drink enough yet. Magnus’ lips parted as he felt his boyfriend’s unease and actually felt sorry for him but damn, he actually wanted to know the answer. He placed his palm on Alec’s back and stroke him softly.

“Answer it.” Jace said and Alec shot him a betrayed look before he grabbed his bottle of beer and downed it all in one go, slamming the bottle down on the table.

“No, I haven’t.” Alec said after.

“Liar. I caught you at least 5 times.” Alec’s eyes widened and Magnus quickly lowered his head to hide his laugh.

“That doesn’t count. I didn’t…I didn’t know you’d be there or want you there.” Alec stuttered and he sounded a little heated. For a moment Magnus admired Alec’s outfit as he moved and pointed a finger at Jace, the muscles straining on his arm, he wore a black shirt that was unbuttoned at the top and tight black pants, he looked insanely sexy. Magnus had settled for a normal jeans with gaps and an oversized white shirt that was tugged into his pants on one side. Something more casual.

He snapped out of his daze a little later when Raphael grabbed a paper from the bowl, realising he had missed something in his daydreams. “Arm wrestle the person to your left, if you lose you have to dance.” Raphael tilted his head aside with an ‘are you kidding me’ expression and Magnus grinned widely. Izzy cracked her neck and then settled down in front of the table, placing her elbow on it. Raphael went down and placed his hand in hers. “Sorry if I hurt you.” Raphael said with a tease in his voice and Izzy pursed her lips with a quirked eyebrow.

“Same for you my dear.”

“1, 2, 3.” Clary said and everyone watched them wrestle. The tension visible on their faces.

“Come in Iz!” Alec jumped off the couch, startling Magnus. What was happening?

“I’m…trying.” She gasped and pressed her teeth together.

“You can do this!” Simon cheered but then Izzy’s arm hit the table and Raphael jumped up, his arms in the air.

“Wooo!” He quickly lowered them again. “I mean, yeah.” He sat back down and Izzy groaned frustrated before she sat back on the couch, muttering under her breath. The bottle moved again and landed on Magnus. He put his drink down and leant forward, grabbing a blue paper that meant dare, his eyes widening before they landed on Jace in front of him.

“What is it?” Clary asked all excited.

“Confess your love to the person in front of you as if it was your crush. Make it realistic.” Magnus looked up to the person in front of him and Jace almost choked on his beer and coughed wildly before Simon patted his back.

“I waited on that one.” Simon said all too happy and Magnus dropped the paper on the table, his body tense. Alec looked from Magnus to Jace and back to Magnus with wide eyes.

Magnus cleared his throat and then walked past Alec and around the table, while Simon stood up and left the scene, giving them space and Jace stared up at Magnus completely shocked, his bottle in hand.

“Oh god this is gonna be good.” Izzy chimed and leant forward on her elbows to watch closely. Alec still didn’t process what was happening.

Magnus wetted his lips and then settled down next to Jace, his arms resting on his thighs, looking down. “Jace.” He began and Simon snorted beside them.

“Shhhhh!” Clary shushed him with a laugh and waved him off.

“Jace.” Magnus began again and felt his cheek flush. Oh god what was he doing here…why was he doing this? Why did he pick this game? Why did he trust Clary? Ah fuck it, you can do this. You’re gonna be the best.

“There is something I have to tell you.” He leaned up and turned his face aside with a serious expression, determined to get this right only to see a completely red Jace, a laugh pressed against his closed lips, both burst into laughter the second their eyes met.

“Oh, come on guuuuuys!” Izzy scolded and they tried to contain their laughter, Magnus cleared his throat again and breathed a few times before he settled his eyes back on Jace who had a straight face now. Magnus chin began to tremble and Jace lips widened, his eyes narrowing. “Jace.” Magnus said again, his voice way too high.

“I’m not buying it.” Magnus lowered his head with a laugh, he felt tears on his eyes and wiped them while Jace’ body shook, shaking his head. He put the beer on the table and then straightened. “Come on.” Magnus inhaled deeply and lifted himself again, closing his eyes for a moment before he settled them on Jace again.

“I-“ Magnus said and Jace snorted so hard it sounded painful.

“Sorry. I’m sorry. Wait. I got this. Okay, again.” Jace patted his cheeks roughly and then looked into Magnus’ eyes, his face relaxed and a little curious. Magnus stared right back at him.

“You are one of my best friends, I know I can always count on you. I cherish this, so much. But…Jace-“ He said and gasped dramatically and took Jace’ hand in his. He heard another gasp coming from aside but didn’t know who it was. “I have feelings for you…” He said in a whisper and squeezed his hand. “I hope you feel the same.” Jace smiled, a sincere and bright smile and then leaned in towards Magnus’ face as if to kiss him.

“Stop!” Everyone shot their heads aside to see a furious looking Alec who looked a little surprised as if he didn’t want to say this out loud.

“Dude, I wasn’t gonna kiss him.” Jace said with a laugh and Alec felt his cheeks turn red. Of course, he knew that, he just snapped, it wasn’t like he planned this. Magnus sent him an empathic look that Alec didn’t return, too embarrassed by his outburst. Izzy stroked Alec’s thigh soothingly with a smile.

“That was amazing!” Simon said finally “I bought it!” Magnus smiled a little proud and Jace then turned to him.

“I bet you can get about anyone into your bed with that charm.” Jace admitted and fanned himself while Magnus rolled his eyes and got up.

“Maybe I could, but why should I.” He shrugged and then sat back down next to Alec who instantly swung an arm around him and pulled him tight against himself, nudging his face against Magnus’ with his nose. Magnus turned to face him. “I hope that didn’t upset you.”

“I can’t say I enjoyed it…” He whispered. “You are mine…” He murmured while the others began another round.

“I’m yours Alexander, only yours.” Magnus craned his neck and tilted his head and Alec met him with his lips. Magnus felt the pressure and heat behind Alec’s lips like he wanted to devour him, he was obviously a little drunk. Magnus felt a hand on his shirt, stroking over his chest and cleared his throat while he leant back to look at Alec. “Alexander…” He whispered and Alec blinked his eyes and then nodded.

“Yes.” He took another sip of his beer and then turned to the others; Magnus smiled at him from aside in awe.

They played another few rounds before they settled on playing karaoke, Alec set the whole thing up but then kept in the background with Raphael while the others had the times of their life’s. Singing, dancing, having fun. Alec enjoyed to watch Magnus interact with his siblings like this, so naturally, so at ease, he loved seeing him be happy, that was all that mattered to Alec, for Magnus to be happy, he would endure 17000 nights of games and karaoke with these if it meant that Magnus would be happy.

He all but jumped off the couch and put his glass down, taking the mic from Izzy while he mumbled something into her ear, she looked surprised and then grinned widely. “Oh god, don’t tell me you want to sing.” Jace said and Alec shot him a look, Clary hit his thigh once more.

“Shut up.” Alec said to Jace and then turned to Magnus. Magnus looked up from his martini glass only then noticing what was happening and that Alec was standing in the middle of the room with the mic. His lips parted softly. He wouldn’t…would he.

Alec cleared his throat as the music began and looked down to Magnus a little shy. “I can’t count the times I almost said what’s on my mind, but I didn’t.” He swallowed. “And just the other day I wrote down all the things I’d say, but I couldn’t, I just couldn’t.” His voice was quiet and low, vulnerable and Magnus realized that he was singing for him…to him…his heart was pounding in his chest. “Baby I know that you’ve been wondering…so here goes nothing.” Alec raised his voice now.

“In case you didn’t know, baby I’m crazy about you. And I would be lying if I said that I could live this life without you, even though, I don’t tell you all the time…you had my heart a long, long time ago, in case you didn’t know.” Magnus felt his eyes water, stinging on the edges, his breath hitched. “You get all of me, I belong to you, yeah you’re my everything. In case you didn’t know.” The music trailed off and Magnus sat there almost sobbing like a baby.

Alec put the mic down and strode to Magnus before he knelt down and wrapped his arms around the Warlock. Magnus immediately hugged him back and clung onto him, grabbing his shirt. He could hear faint awws from aside but couldn’t care less.

“That was beautiful.” He whispered into Alec’s ear.

“I meant it.”

“I know Alexander.” He leant back to look into his eyes, holding his cheeks gently. “I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fluff, fluff, fluff. How did you like the gang's game of truth and dare? Anything in particular? And Alec's singing? 🤧 I love to see them all together and also see Malec openly show their love for each other 😍 They didn't get to do that often. It's what they need, it's what they deserve. And wasn't that a lovely morning after? Well, at least for us 😂 Thank you all so much for the comments and kudos on the last chapter. The plot is soon about to reach it's peak, just a little heads up.
> 
> The song Alec is singing is "In case you didn't know" by Brett Young. It's part of my playlist for the fic and I listened to it a lot when writing on it. The song was there before the fic and it's kind of the tagline.


	59. Chapter 59

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What the…” Jace groaned and sat up.
> 
> “Magnus is gone.” He whispered, more to himself. Only then realizing the meaning of those words.
> 
> “What?” Jace parroted and scratched his head. “What are you talking about?”
> 
> “Magnus is gone.” Alec repeated completely out of it and turned around. “He- he is not here.” He stuttered. “Jace he is gone.” His palms felt sweaty, his breath ragged. He felt something something deep in the pit of his stomach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://ibb.co/fvVnYrS)   


The time flew by quickly and they settled on staying the night, Izzy and Simon were already in bed, Raphael had left and Alec and Jace were on the balcony, leaving Clary and Magnus in the living room. Magnus stretched and then hissed a little.

“What’s wrong?” She asked and Magnus licked his lips sheepishly.

“I’m a little sore.” He said and turned his eyes down to the ground.

“Sore? What happened?” He lifted his eyes again with a smirk.

“Alec.”

“Alec happened?” Her mouth went slack, her eyes widening. “You didn’t!” She gasped. “You had sex? I mean…he…you…”

“Yep.” Magnus said and played with his own fingers a little shy.

“Oh my god! How was it?” She asked a little quieter. Magnus looked up to the balcony, seeing Alec’s back, gesticulating while he spoke to Jace.

“It was amazing.” He said in thoughts as he watched his boyfriend. “And short.” Clary laughed. “I mean…the act itself…it actually took quite some time all together.” Clary made a grimace.

“Did it hurt bad?”

“Oh yes.” Magnus said right away with a little chuckle. “I don’t know if I’ve ever experienced a similar pain before. It felt like someone split me in half.” Clary hissed.

“Oh…I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s…it’s okay. I wanted it and Alec was actually very gentle. He was…perfect.” Magnus said as he thought of last night. “It wasn’t that bad.” He added. “Not that it was bad. You know.” He stuttered fishing for words. “It was very good in the end, but the good part was very quick.” He chuckled desperately. “I guess it will get better when you do it more often.”

“I am sure of that.” Clary answered. “And I am very sure you are up for that challenge, right.” Magnus grinned with a blush on his cheeks, giving her a little wink as the balcony doors opened and closed.

“I’m tired.” Clary gasped and Magnus got up immediately, giving the couch free for them.

“We’ll head for bed so you have some privacy.” Magnus said and then tilted his head for Alec to follow, who did so right away.

“Good night you two.” Clary said.

“Good night.” Magnus answered and then closed the door of the bedroom behind himself, not after he saw Clary give him a wink too.

Magnus watched Alec disappear in the bathroom and followed him. He opened the door to see Alec undress himself, he was a little tipsy and it took a little longer than usually while he stumbled over his own pants. Magnus went to his side and helped him before he turned on the shower. Magnus then undressed too, stepping into the shower with Alec who shook his wet hair. The water dripping down his body.

Magnus cleared his throat and then grabbed the body wash. “May I?” Alec nodded with a smile and Magnus began to spread the body wash on his body, cherishing the feeling of his skin beneath his fingers, Alec’s eyes were unfocused, he wasn’t exactly there Magnus noticed and tried not to lose control right now and just wash him.

Alec nudged Magnus face up and Magnus gasped in surprise as Alec tried to catch his lips, it was sloppy, wet but oh so good. Alec’s hands began to wander over his arms, his sides, it tickled. Alec’s hands slid down to his ass and Magnus pushed him back by the chest immediately.

“What?” Alec asked and Magnus quirked an eyebrow.

“No.”

“I wasn’t-“

“No.”

Alec rolled his eyes and then pouted, before a wide smile spread on his perfect lips. “Was worth a shot.” Magnus slapped him on the arm playfully and then focused on washing himself, Alec already left to dry himself, brush his teeth, Magnus did the same soon after and they jumped into bed, immediately snuggling against the other, slotting together. Magnus noticed that Alec seemed unfocused since they were alone.

“Are you okay?” He asked and Alec looked up, his eyes half closed. “You seem…distracted.”

“‘am tired.”

“Is that all? You can tell me…” Magnus lay his palm onto Alec’s face, stroking him softly. “Does that dare with Jace still upset you?” Alec’s lips parted. He looked caught. Bingo.

“No…I mean, yes, a little. I know it’s stupid, it was a dare…but I didn’t like seeing it.”

“I’m sorry.” And he meant it. He never meant to upset Alec.

“No, it’s not your fault, it was a dare, it’s a game I get it.”

“It was Jace Alexander, he is not my type at all.” Magnus said with a smile. “Besides, if anyone should feel jealous over Jace it’s me. You have a much closer connection to him.” Alec blinked his eyes.

“Guess so.” Magnus nibbled on his lower lip a little nervous. “But ours is closer…” he mumbled. Magnus thought about that for a bit and Alec observed him intensely.

“Did you mean that?” Magnus all but whispered, breaking the silence.

“Mean what?”

“That you would pick Jace over me?” He asked in a murmur and hated how unsure he sounded, that he was bringing this up but it was something that had unfortunately stuck with him, deep in the back of his head, he knew he was being irrational and maybe childish but he had to know. Alec suddenly tensed, his eyes growing wide again, awake within a second.

“What?” He asked and then realised what Magnus was talking about. He really didn’t expect that topic to come up now. “No Magnus. I would never. You are the most important person in my life. Jace is my Parabatai and we share a bond, but if I had to choose, I would always choose you. I love you…more than anything.”

“But- she-“

“No buts. She knew it would be Jace since my heart belongs to Ma…to you…both versions of you but your other version was not there, it’s kinda split in half…my feelings…the bond to Jace was simply stronger in that moment. She knew that and did it to manipulate you. That doesn’t mean I love him more or would choose him, I wouldn’t. You have to believe me.” Magnus nodded in understanding though again, he didn’t quite know how to feel about this, it was so weird to be jealous of himself but he was, also Alec loved his older version just as much, of course he does, he was engaged to him and he probably missed him too.

Magnus looked at the engagement ring on Alec’s finger. He felt a weird pain deep down in his chest at the sight, at the fact he was wearing it. Of course, he was, he was engaged and he loved his fiancé. Loved him.

“Can you sing me something? Anything…I deserve a song back.” Alec murmured in a slur and Magnus chuckled, snapping out of his thoughts.

“Do you now?”

“I do.” He closed his eyes and snuggled against Magnus’ throat, breathing slowly. Magnus wrapped his arm around him and held him close, closer than usual and then began to sing quietly.

“Ba dada dam dam dam ba dada dam dam dam…I don’t care, what they do, I just wanna…be with you and I don’t mind all the times, we would fight…just to get through.” He cleared his throat. “Yeah cause all these empty faces, they got nothing on yours, they got nothing on yours, they got nothing on yours, and all the brightest places they turn dark when you’re gone, they turn dark when you’re gone, they turn dark when you’re gone.” He stroked through Alec’s hair from behind, playing with the dark, soft locks.

“You got that hometown smile, you got that look in your eyes that says everything will one day be all right, you got that hometown smile, you got that look in your eyes and I’ll do anything just to keep you by my side.” He sang a little louder and could feel Alec’s smile against his skin.

“All through my life, I finally realized that home is not where you’re going.” He leant his face down and kissed Alec’s forehead softly before he continued. “Cause now I need, only you and me…and wherever we’ll be, we’ll never get lost.” Alec began to breathe slowly, even.

“I love you Magnus.” He murmured. “I will always love you.”

“I love you too.” Magnus whispered back. “Forever.”

“Wherever we’ll be, we’ll never get lost.” Alec repeated, almost asleep.

“Wherever we’ll be.” Magnus said gently before his eyes settled on Alec’s ring again.

Alec deserved to be happy, to be fulfilled, to be whole, to have everything he wanted and needed. His bond needed to be complete and strong. He needed his fiancé to be complete. Magnus pressed him closer and lay his head on top of his. He will get him back. He just had to.

\---

Magnus sneaked out of bed at 3am, his sleep had been restless and he felt wide awake, his thoughts going back and forth, from left to right, his mind seemed to be all over the place. He made his way to his office on tip toes before he crushed on his chair with a sigh and folded his legs below himself before he unlocked his phone and opened the messenger.

[Magnus – 03:02am] Hey Cat, I am sorry I didn’t contact you any sooner, I had a lot on my mind but I am fine and I just wanted you to know that. There is something I have to ask you; would you call me tomorrow? Whenever you want.

[Cat – 03:05am] You are up late Magnus, or early? I am glad you are okay; I was really worried but I understand it, I really do. Thank you for contacting me. I am work but it’s quiet at the moment, I could call you?

Magnus smiled widely at the message and then dialled her number right away. “Hey.” – “Hey Magnus.” – “Where do you work? You never told me.” – “Oh, I’m a nurse, we didn’t get the chance to talk about it yet.” – “Yes…I am sorry.” – “No, I didn’t- it’s okay Magnus, I am happy you wrote and called me. What is it that you wanted to know?” There was a silence on the other end. “If you had something…ehm, if there was something to be done, that required a lot of…ehm-“ he began to stutter. “Like a spell, who would you go to? Who is the most powerful person you know?” Another moment of silence followed.

“Well, we are, the Warlocks I guess, Lorenzo Rey is one of the most powerful in New York also of course the Seelie Queen but being as it is at the moment, that is not an option.” She explained calmly and Magnus’ eyes lit up. The Seelie Queen. “She knows a lot about dimensions, right?” Magnus asked in a whisper. “She does, why are you asking Magnus?” Magnus sucked his lower lip in, nibbling on it.

She was powerful. She knew about dimensions. She was a full on bitch. Magnus hated her with every cell of his body after what she did to them, yes, she never really hurt Magnus and made it clear she wouldn’t, but she hurt Alec and Jace and Catarina and kept her prisoner, she tried to separate them in a cruel and manipulative way. That is what she wanted…to separate them…for Magnus to be with her alone, to help her with his power? Maybe he could…offer a trade. Maybe she could actually help him with this matter.

“Magnus?” Magnus snapped out of it after he totally forgot he was still on phone with Catarina. “Sorry, I was in thoughts.” – “What do you need? Why do you need someone powerful? Can I help you?” – “No, it’s nothing, really. I was just wondering…I still need to learn to do portals and all, maybe I will contact that Lorenzo guy.” – “If you do, I would like to accompany you, Lorenzo Rey is not an easy guy.” – “Yeah, sure.” – “Magnus?” – “Yes?” – “I’ve known you for a long time, I know something is wrong.” – “I will- uhm, I have to figure something out first…okay?” – “Okay.” – “Take care Cat, I will go back to bed.” – “You too Magnus, sleep well!” “Bye!” Magnus locked the phone stared ahead.

Was is wise to go there? All alone? He was powerful enough to take care of himself, but then again, they had kept Catarina and she was powerful too. Maybe he should ask someone to go along? But who? He couldn’t ask Alec, obviously. He would never let him go there. Which was the case for all when he thought about it. Who would help him without asking too many questions?...Raphael? No the Seelies hated the Vampires. Magnus gasped as a name popped up in front of his eyes.

Clary.

He hopped off the chair and went back to his bedroom, making his way to his closet and dressing himself quickly, he heard Alec’s soft snores from the bed and then turned to look at him. He lay on his side, his face snuggled into the pillow, so peaceful, so soft. He walked closer slowly and looked down at him while he felt his eyes water.

Magnus felt the urge to rip the clothes off himself, to get back into bed, to hold that man and never let go. To stay with him forever. But it’s not what Alec deserved, it’s not what he wanted, he is missing his fiancé and he didn’t need to say it, if he wouldn’t he wouldn’t still wear his engagement ring, he was still waiting for his Magnus to return, to get married, to live a wonderful and beautiful life together.

He couldn’t take that away from him for selfish reasons. It wasn’t his to take.

Magnus clenched his jaw hard, trying to hold back his tears as he leant down carefully and placed his lips on Alec’s temple, softly kissing him goodbye, it lasted longer than he intended and a quiet whimper left his lips as he rose, his breath shaky. He loved that man so much, so fucking much. 

“Goodbye Alexander.” He whispered and reached into his pocket, placing old Magnus’ engagement ring that he carried with him on the nightstand. “I will bring him back.”

Magnus walked back into the living room and gently nudged Clary’s shoulder, she slept on the couch like a starfish, Jace laid on the other side, she shook for a moment and looked up at him startled. “What…what is it? What happened?” She slurred and sat up, her voice groggy and her eyes half closed, her hair sticking to all sides.

“Come with me.” He whispered and took her hand gently, she got off the couch and followed him into the kitchen where he dragged her. “I am sorry for waking you but…it’s an emergency.”

“An emergency?” Her eyes finally widened, her mind awaking.

“Well, not really, but…well. Listen-“ She looked utterly confused as she checked him out, realizing he was fully dressed. “I need to speak to the Seelie Queen.”

“What?” She all but yelled and Magnus quickly shushed her, pressing a finger to her lips.

“Not so loud, they are right next to us. It’s about my older self, the old Magnus, I need to get him back, I need to…he belongs here and to Alec, not me.” Clary frowned before she shook her head.

“Magnus, no- You are-“

“No please Clary, don’t. I need to do this. For Alec.” Clary pressed her lips together, looking awfully concerned and slightly sorrowful. “I think the Seelie Queen can help me with that. She knows all about dimensions, she is powerful, she wouldn’t harm me she made that perfectly clear that she wants me unharmed. It’s not like I trust her but…she is the only one who can help me.” Clary’s lips parted; she folded her arms in front of her chest a little defensive.

“I don’t know Magnus…she is dangerous, manipulative…what if something goes wrong…”

“That’s why I want you to go with me. As back up…also I need you to send her a fire message to let her know we are coming, that I want to meet her. I can’t do them yet.” Clary inhaled deeply and looked troubled.

“I guess we can’t tell the others we are going?” Magnus shook his head firmly. “That means I would just leave them? Without saying where I am? With you?” Magnus nodded, hopeful.

“Please, Clary.”

“Well…I brought you into this mess in the first place, I owe you. I owe it to you to bring you back and if she is capable of doing so…we should try?” Magnus smiled at her. “You know that Alec will kill me for this right?”

“I will make sure he doesn’t. I will…I will send him a message before I go, explaining it all.” He lied and Clary nibbled on her lower lip looking around herself.

“I don’t like this but I would do anything for you.” She looked into his eyes. “You are my best friend Magnus.” Her voice suddenly filled with emotions, her eyes sparkling. “I don’t- I don’t want to lose you.”

“You won’t lose me, I will return.” He said with a smile, but took her into his arms, hugging her tightly. “I will be back, I promise.” He whispered while he stroked her hair, they stood like that for a while before they parted and she wiped her eyes.

“Okay, we need to get to the Institute first, I need my weapons just in case.” Magnus nodded and Clary then stepped aside, pulling the stele she kept in her socks out of them and drawing her rune before a portal opened.

“Wait.” Magnus rushed and Clary looked surprised. “Just a second.” Magnus ran out of the room and looked around himself before he finally saw his cat on the couch near Jace’ feet. He crouched down and gave the little one a gentle stroke. “Daddy will be back. Take care of my love for me will you.” He whispered and then got up to stand, he looked to Jace for a moment with a fond smile, then looked around his loft. “I will be back.” He said to no one in particular and then made his way back to Clary, trying hard to keep it together.

Both stepped through the portal, landing in the weapons room of the Institute. “Give me a moment, I need to change, I will be right back.” She said before she rushed off. Magnus circled around himself, playing with his fingers, plopping his lips, he felt restless, nervous, uneasy. He didn’t know if he was doing the right thing at all, but he didn’t see any other way.

She returned a few minutes later and then went to grab her daggers, blades and tied her hair in a high ponytail before nodding Magnus’s way. She looked fierce, ready to fight, dressed in all black leather. She tucked her weapons away and then began to write a fire message to the Seelie Queen, asking for entry and an audience. She sent it flying and then sighed, she looked just as nervous for a second as their eyes met.

Both jumped as a portal opened next to them.

Magnus stared at it before he looked at Clary almost frightened, she came a step closer and took his hand in hers before both looked ahead and stepped through.

\---

Alec slid his fingers along the cold sheets to reach Magnus’ warm body and frowned when his arm was stretched out and there was nothing but cold air around his fingers. He lifted his head, one eye closed, his face scrunched in sleepy confusion. “Magnus?” He murmured hoarsely and then turned on his back, before he got off the bed, running his hand over his face.

He got up and entered the bathroom, “Ma-“ He watched the empty bathroom as if it had personally offended him and then turned back around to walk through the bedroom and out of it, he paced through the living room on his bare feet.

His eyes landed on the empty couch; the sheets tangled. Jace was still sleeping. So, Clary and Magnus were up, probably talking of things he didn’t want to know about, he went to the kitchen, opening the door with an enthusiastic swing and smile that dropped the moment he saw it empty. He closed it again and stood in front of the door for a second, slightly irritated before he went to the guest room, he knocked quietly and opened it only to see Izzy and Simon still sleeping. He closed it again and went to Magnus’ office, empty.

An unpleasant feeling spread in his chest as he walked to the balcony, his steps quicker, his hands rolled into fists, he opened the balcony curtains eagerly, causing Jace to stir behind him. Empty.

“What the…” Jace groaned and sat up.

“Magnus is gone.” He whispered, more to himself. Only then realizing the meaning of those words.

“What?” Jace parroted and scratched his head. “What are you talking about?”

“Magnus is gone.” Alec repeated completely out of it and turned around. “He- he is not here.” He stuttered. “Jace he is gone.” His palms felt sweaty, his breath ragged. He felt something something deep in the pit of his stomach.

“Why? I mean, how do you know? Wasn’t he-“

“Didn’t you hear me?! He is gone!” Alec shouted and Jace widened his eyes before he got up.

“Alec, calm down.” He said, pointing his palm towards him as if he was trying to calm a wild animal. “I am sure there is an explanation, maybe he went to get breakfast somewhere-“

“Clary is gone too.”

“What?” Jace turned his head to the empty couch, a frown building on his face. Alec felt the tension radiate through their bond, now Jace was finally taking this seriously.

Magnus wouldn’t just leave like that. Never. Not after they finally got back together, not after everything was fine again, after they confessed their love, he wouldn’t just leave, would he?

Izzy and Simon came walking into the corridor, looking utterly wrecked. “What is going on here? Why is everyone yelling?” She asked rubbing her eyes.

“Clary and Magnus are gone.” Jace said as he turned to his sister.

“Gone? What do you mean they are gone?” Alec had no time for this, he walked back to his bedroom to get dressed before he walked to his nightstand to grab his stele and blade when he froze.

He straightened himself and then circled the bed before he picked up Magnus’ engagement ring from the nightstand, his fingers were shaking as he brought it to his eyes. No. No…no.

Alec felt sick, he felt like something was pressing on his chest, his stomach. What was happening? Why? Why would he leave this here and…did something happen? Did someone make him? Maybe they were kidnapped and whoever left it there to scare Alec. To show they had Magnus.

Jace entered the bedroom behind him and watched his brother’s back. Alec felt it, he turned around, his face showing the fear and confusion he just felt, Jace quickly closed the distance between them and swung his arms around his brother, holding him tightly. “Everything’s gonna be fine, they are fine Alec.” Alec couldn’t move. Before he suddenly could. Something flooded his veins.

“We have to go.” He rushed and then dashed out of the apartment, everyone following him as quick as possible. Alec began to run, he felt like he had no control over his body as he ran faster and faster with every second not caring about the others or anything else. He heard yelling in the distance but couldn’t stop. His lungs burned as he dashed through New York without minding anyone but his goal. That was to get to the Institute. To get to Magnus.

He slammed the Institute doors open and ran to the ops center, panting as he had reached it and typed in Magnus’ name furiously, startling the Shadowhunters around him that had worked quietly at this time of morning. A map suddenly appeared and lifted to the eye level and Alec searched it with his eyes. “Fuck!” He yelled and pushed himself off the table.

The others came rushing in, panting too and watched Alec type on the computer, Clary’s face showing up and Alec again searched the map of New York, nothing. “No no no no no no!” Alec grabbed his hair and stepped back feeling like he was about to faint. Izzy quickly rushed to his side and grabbed one of his hands, holding him by the wrist tightly and made him look at her.

“Alec, calm down, you are panicking.”

“I can’t find them. They are…they are gone.” He panted and Izzy tugged on him roughly to get his attention back, saying soothing words while Jace made his way to the computer and began to type, doing a worldwide search for both of them with negative results.

“I will call Raphael.” Simon offered and already grabbed his phone. Alec tried to level his breathing, but he only made it worse, he leant on the table and lowered his head, staring at the ground before his body twitched. He quickly pulled his phone out of his pocket, unlocking it without looking.

“Magnus!” - “No, Alec it’s me…Catarina.” She said almost apologetically. - “Oh…sorry. Is Magnus with you?!” - “No, he isn’t, I thought he is with you? What happened?” - “He is not here Catarina, he was gone when I woke up, he- I don’t- he was gone.” He stammered and he could hear Catarina gasp on the other end. “What?” He asked almost frightened. - “He called me this morning…around 3. That’s what I wanted to talk to you about, he seemed a little off. Suspicious.” Alec straightened and tensed while the others watched him. “He asked me something about who the most powerful being around was, he was very cryptic about it and wouldn’t say what it was about but it seemed like he needed help with something.” Alec’s breathing was so low he was almost not doing it anymore.

“What did you answer?” He whispered. - “I mentioned Lorenzo Rey-“ Alec felt sick again. “And…the Seelie Queen.” Alec’s eyes widened, his mouth falling slack. “But he wouldn’t go there, would he? You don’t think he went to the Seelie Queen all alone?” Silence followed. “I will come over.” She added and ended the call before a portal opened and Catarina stepped through, seeing the startled faces of the others, she could feel the tension in the room.

“Can you track them?” Alec asked as soon as she stepped out of the portal. She looked troubled for a second.

“I can try.” She quickly went to the computer with the map of New York and closed her eyes, swirling her hands over the map while purple magic traced the buildings like a wave. She opened her eyes with a gasp. “I can feel them.” She said almost surprised.

“What does that mean?” Alec rushed and stood beside her, demanding answers.

“It means they are still here, only…they are not.” She looked up at Alec apologetically. “It means they are in the Seelie Realm.”

“No.” Alec said while stepping back. “No.”

“Alec..” Izzy whispered.

“How did they get there? Magnus can’t do portals, he cou-“ he stopped as his face darkened, he looked up at Jace. “Clary.” Jace frowned at the look on his face. “Clary brought him there.” he said firmly.

“She wouldn’t just bring him there Alec, he must have asked her to-“

“How could she do that?! She knows how dangerous the Seelie Queen is, how much she wants Magnus, this is- I can’t- she put him in danger, again, doesn’t she think at all?!” Alec barked and Jace straightened.

“Stop this Alec, it’s not Clary’s fault when Magnus drags her into this, she is just as much in danger as him, like you said, she wants Magnus so she can easily get rid of Clary.” Jace spat and stepped closer to Alec.

“She got him into this mess in the first place! This is all her fault!” Alec yelled and then gasped as Jace’ fist collided with his jaw, leaving him lightheaded for a moment.

“Get off your high horse Alec, Clary is my girlfriend and you won’t speak about her like that anymore, she is your friend and she would never put Magnus in danger and you know that. What she did was a mistake and she apologized and tried to fix it, you can’t blame her for everything that happened, I won’t allow it.” Jace yelled back as Izzy quickly stepped between them two and pushed them apart.

“You two stop it right now.” She commanded, giving them both a fierce look. “Or I’ll make you.” Jace stepped back and circled his shoulders before his face softened.

“I’m sorry Alec.” Alec still stood frozen, his hand on his jaw. He hadn’t expected that. But it did the trick. He felt less panicked, less restless for a second. He hated how being hurt grounded him somehow, he knew this wasn’t healthy but it worked. He looked back at Jace.

“I’m sorry too.” He said and Jace took a step forward and hugged him tightly. “I know it’s not Clary’s intention, she…” He tilted his head, not knowing what to say that didn’t sound harsh. This was his brother and Parabatai’s girlfriend after all and he wouldn’t want Jace to talk bad about Magnus. And for a fact, he was probably right that Clary was just as much in danger as Magnus. Jace let go.

“We will find them, okay?” He said determined as he held Alec’s cheek in his hand. Alec nodded and Jace turned to Catarina. “Can you do a portal for us too? We need to get them out of there.”

“They might know you are coming; this could be a trap.” Catarina said and Jace shrugged.

“What choice do we have?” Catarina nodded while the others went to get dressed properly and grabbed their weapons, telling Simon to stay put. They returned with their daggers, bow and whip and stood straight and ready to fight.

“I am coming with you.” She said and Alec shook his head.

“No, you can’t, we need you here to get us out in case something goes wrong. You can’t use your powers there anyways.”

“But Magnus is my friend. I have to-“

“Please Catarina…please.” She nodded reluctantly and then opened the portal to the Seelie realm.

“Good luck.” She said “And bring him back Alec.” Alec nodded firmly before the siblings stepped through.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ew...I know. I know. The angst is back, with full force 😶 But Magnus thinks he's doing the right thing, do you understand his motivation? Do you think he's right? To get rid of this mess himself now, with the help of Clary and the Seelie Queen? And poor Alec was panicking, but who can blame him, when the love of his life is suddenly gone 🤧 Do you blame him for still wearing his ring or do you think it's his right? Let's hope they find them soon and unharmed...Thank you all for reading and leaving comments and kudos! You guys are the best 😘 I hope you enjoy the rest of their journey. It's gonna be a tough ride.
> 
> The song is Hometown Smile by Bahjat and the name giver of this fic, obviously. It was this song that played when I came up with it in my mind and I listened to it the most during writing.


	60. Chapter 60

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I can…I can offer you something in return, whatever you desire.”
> 
> Clary moved beside him. “Magnus…” she whispered. “You can’t do this, it’s not safe.” Magnus swallowed and looked at her from aside, her big and pleading green eyes wide open.
> 
> “I have to…she won’t help me otherwise. She won’t do anything to harm me, or you…I will make sure of that.”
> 
> “And what makes you believe she keeps her word?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://ibb.co/hfvRLpZ)   

> 
> This is a very angsty chapter, please read the tags carefully! Especially the ones near the end.

Magnus and Clary stepped out of the portal and landed right in the middle of the Seelie court, they immediately scanned the area a little surprised, obviously not having expected to be here, the place was packed with Seelies that observed them like they were some wild animals. Magnus still held Clary’s hand painfully tight and felt her squeeze back.

Even though it was still winter and cold outside, the Seelie court was rather warm and had that mysterious vibe to it that was both beautiful and threatening. Like a beautiful flower that wanted to lure you in only to swallow you whole.

“Welcome back Magnus.” A female voice said and Magnus looked around quickly before his eyes met the Queen’s after the Seelies parted to give a view to the throne. She sat on it casually, relaxed and with a smug smile, she was an adult again obviously. This was good, he felt like he could talk better to her when she was old, could hate her better even, could be more cautious.

Welcome back…those words made something light up in him, like a lost puzzle piece finally finding its slot. He remembered how she said that she’d see him again when they last parted ways. She knew he would come back to her…how?

Her blue eyes shifted aside to Clary and her face darkened. “What are you doing here Shadowhunter?” She asked a little annoyed and leaned back on her throne, playing with her long and wavy hair. Magnus looked aside for a second. Yes, what was Clary doing here? Of course, he had asked her, but she wasn’t supposed to be here. It suddenly hit him how stupidly selfish this was, yes, he knew the Queen wouldn’t harm him but that didn’t say she wouldn’t harm Clary.

Fuck. What did he do? He tugged on her arm and stood in front of her partly, his eyes narrowed and challenging. “She is with me, if you hurt her, I will leave right away.” The Queen looked over Magnus’ shoulder to Clary for a long moment before her eyes shifted aside and softened.

“You feel a lot for this girl. Why?”

“She is my friend.” Magnus said a little lamely, but it was the truth and he was proud of it.

“You know that she brought you here, right?” Magnus felt the urge to roll his eyes, of course he knew. What was she playing at again?

“I do.”

“Interesting.” She got up to stand and it looked more elegant than it should, Magnus hated how he admired her grace for a second. She walked closer until she stood in front of them, her hands clasped together. “I won’t harm her.” She said looking deep into Magnus’ eyes with a warm smile.

Magnus felt uncomfortable. He cleared his throat gently. “I am here to…ask you something.” She blinked slowly, the smile still on her face, she gave a little nod for him to continue. “I want to get back into my time and…the old, my older self back into this. I want to undo the spell, whatever happened. I thought, I hoped you could help me.” He said and felt the urge to puke, he hated to speak to her, to ask her for anything, he hated this woman and what she did, but she was his only hope right now and he had to play accordingly.

He couldn’t let his emotions through, he couldn’t seem weak now. He lifted his chin a little.

She studied him intensely. “Why would I do that?” She then said softly. Magnus felt a shiver run down his spine at the way she observed him, the way she teased him.

“I can…I can offer you something in return, whatever you desire.”

Clary moved beside him. “Magnus…” she whispered. “You can’t do this, it’s not safe.” Magnus swallowed and looked at her from aside, her big and pleading green eyes wide open.

“I have to…she won’t help me otherwise. She won’t do anything to harm me, or you…I will make sure of that.”

“And what makes you believe she keeps her word?!”

“Seelies can’t lie…” Magnus answered, he sounded more certain than he felt. He wasn’t sure at all. This was really just a big naïve risk, but he didn’t see any other choice. He was certain she was the only one that could help him. She knew about dimensions, she was powerful, she wanted something from Magnus, she had said as much. He tried to ignore the little voice in his head that screamed for him to leave.

“I think we could come to an agreement.” She then said and turned back around to walk back to her throne. Magnus wetted his lips as he waited for her to settle back down. She opened her palm towards the Seelies beside her and one of them handed her a parchment, she took it with her long fingers and held it tightly.

Magnus was again hit with the realisation that she had planned all of this; she obviously had the agreement in her hands. She knew he would come to ask for help. She knew what she wanted in return.

She was playing with him all along. Magnus felt his face twitch, he stepped right into her trap…why was he so utterly stupid. No, don’t back off now, don’t let her get to you, you’re in control. You are powerful.

“What is it about?” He asked tense, his jaw clenching. He still felt Clary’s eyes on him before she looked to the Queen warily.

“I will help you get back to your time, in return you will offer your help in the future. You will help me with your magic whenever I see fit.” She said with a smirk and Magnus pressed his lips together tightly.

Help her with his magic? She was speaking about his older self. She wanted to bound him to her. Magnus lowered his eyes to the ground, scratching his own palms with his fingernails in a nervous habit.

He couldn’t do that, could he? Condemn his future self, his whole future. What if she wanted his magic to do something bad, something dangerous? Hurt the people he loved? They said that his older self is powerful, very much so, he could do very bad things with that power. Could he ruin his future like that? No. That was too much of a risk. Even Magnus knew that. He might be young but he still had functioning braincells.

“I can’t do that.” The Queen’s face showed surprise for a split second before it relaxed again.

“Why?”

“My magic is too powerful…I can’t.” She kept on staring at him, like she was trying to read him.

“I won’t use your magic to hurt the people you love. They will be safe.” She said. “It’s already in the contract. I need it for other reasons.” Other reasons? What reasons? What would she need his magic for? She wouldn’t hurt the people he loved? How did she know who he loved and what about those he didn’t? Mundanes? This was a dangerous deal. Magnus felt it deep in the pit of his stomach.

Magnus turned around to look at Clary and she looked back just as overwhelmed. He didn’t know what to do, if this was wise. But, what choice did he have?

“You won’t harm them? I- won’t harm them?”

“Yes Magnus…I am not an evil person, you see.” She smiled sincerely. Maybe she wasn’t per se evil, but she was manipulative and minded her own agenda only, her own people.

“This doesn’t feel right.” Clary said beside him, so the Queen wouldn’t hear it.

“It doesn’t.” Magnus agreed in a quiet murmur. “But I have to.”

“Magnus, no…”

He stepped forward and rose his voice. “Deal.”

The Queen smirked brightly as a Seelie took the parchment from her and brought it to Magnus along with a quill. Magnus quickly took it and signed the paper without reading it, not wanting to, he heard Clary gasp beside him. She rolled it and then went back to her place. The Queen sighed happily and clasped her hands together in her lap.

“Magnus what have you done.” Clary whispered while she shook her head. “You didn’t even read it.”

“I know what I’m doing.” He whispered back. He didn’t know if he was trying to persuade Clary or himself at this point.

“I am glad we came to this agreement Magnus, very much. You know that I actually admire you a lot. You are a wonderful being. Powerful and empathic. You would do anything for those around you, give your life for them, even if they wouldn’t do the same.” Magnus felt his eye twitch at her praise. “I don’t know many who would do the same. You are astonishing.”

Her face suddenly fell and she let out a soft gasp. “And as much as it pains me, I do have to hold up onto my promises too.” She said before she straightened herself. Magnus and Clary stared at her confused before another figure came into view to stand beside the Seelie Queen, who looked down displeased. Magnus felt his blood freeze.

“Raj?” Clary gasped. “What are you doing here?” Her voice was shaking as she stepped in front of Magnus protectively.

“Well, how do you think the Queen knew about Catarina’s whereabouts?” He said with a smug smirk.

“What?” Clary asked, confused. She didn’t get it. But Magnus…did.

He went to the Queen to tell her about Catarina, told her to capture the Warlock so Magnus would go to the Queen in an attempt to save her. That’s why she had expected them, found them so quick, made the others disappear, had that sick game prepared. It was all planned. It was all Raj.

“But what about that Warlock, the one Alec contacted about Catarina, she was the one who-“

“Dead.” Raj said with a shrug. “I made her send the message.”

She grimaced and shook her head. “Why?”

“Because he needs to pay.” Magnus lowered his eyes to the ground, he felt petrified.

He didn’t think he would ever see him again to be honest. It made his stomach twist painfully. Their last encounter still branded into his mind like a bad nightmare you couldn’t shake off.

“You are disgusting.” Clary stepped forward. “You hear me? You should be deruned and locked up in prison for what you did to Magnus. To her. You are no Shadowhunter, you are a monster.” She averted her eyes to the Queen because she couldn’t stand his smirk. “The Queen doesn’t want to harm Magnus, she won’t, you lost Raj.” She said fiercely and he sent her a glare she ignored.

“The information wasn’t for free.” He said and the Queen nodded towards her Seelies with something resembling pity.

“What?” Clary gasped and then jumped as a bunch of Seelies suddenly grabbed Magnus and dragged him over the court. “Stop! Let him go!” Clary shouted and ran after him before she was stopped by other Seelies and their spears, blocking the way.

Magnus felt that he was being moved forcefully but somehow his body wouldn’t comply, why was the Queen breaking her word? Why would she harm him now after all this? She couldn’t lie…she couldn’t.

Before he reached the throne the Seelies turned to the right and pushed Magnus to the ground. His knees and palms hit the stone and he looked ahead to see Raj’s boots and legs.

The world seemed to slow down for a moment.

“One hour. No more.” The Queen said, locking her eyes on Raj.

Magnus shot his head up with horror, staring at the Queen. What? An hour? An hour of what? What was happening? He straightened himself though he was still on his knees. What deal was this?

“I want him back in one piece.” She threatened, not looking at Magnus like he wasn’t even there. Magnus felt his face freeze, his mouth falling slack. He felt bile rise up his throat.

“You can’t do this!” Clary shouted to the Queen, tears filling her eyes. “You said you won’t harm him!”

“I…won’t harm him and I keep my promises little Shadowhunter.” The Queen said. “A deal is a deal.”

“No, you don’t understand! Raj…he-“ she gasped at a loss of words. “He is sick! He will hurt him.”

The Queen looked at Clary, her smile gone.

“He will recover.” She said and then waved her hand nonchalantly before the Seelies grabbed Magnus again, lifting him off the ground. Magnus felt adrenaline rush through his veins, bringing his senses back to life as he realized what was happening, he pushed against their grips and began to hit and kick around himself like a wild animal.

“No! Let me go! Clary!” Another few Seelies rushed closer to help their friends and drag the Warlock away but he was too strong. The Queen got up, obviously annoyed, or just not wanting to witness this.

“Take him away now!” She ordered and they finally dragged him away and out of sight.

“Alexander!” his voice echoed through the corridor and into the Seelie court, out into the open loud and clear before it silenced.

\---

Alec ran out of the portal and through the forest, not waiting a second to breathe, to make a plan, to take the surroundings in like a good soldier would, he just ran, he faintly heard Jace and Izzy behind him. He held onto his bow, his seraph blade in the other hand. He knew the way, the direction, it was all in his head. He didn’t feel the cold around, he felt hot.

There was a rustling to his right, far away but he didn’t hesitate a second before he grabbed his bow and sent an arrow flying into the direction, he heard a loud grunt and a thud but kept on running.

Another one to his left, another arrow. Another thud.

He didn’t care about them, about this, about himself, about anything but Magnus. He needed to get to him now and whoever got into his way would suffer.

He heard a whip splash and Jace’ voice, shouting. Alec halted abruptly and turned around as he took in the sight of his siblings fighting with the Seelie guards. With a curse below his breath he ran back and helped them. It only took them about 10 minutes to fight the few Seelies off, before he saw more coming their way, he fell into his Shadowhunter stance, their backs towards each others in a circle.

The Seelies ran into them and the siblings did what they were the best at, kill threats, protect their family. Seelies littered the ground as they again began to run towards the Seelie court far in the distance.

Alec was yet again ahead of them, he was the fastest, always had been when there was another group of Seelies running their way, Alec stopped and was about to run back to his siblings to help when he heard someone call his name.

He turned around, his seraph blade up and stared into the emptiness of the forest. He frowned and turned back around to his siblings only to feel a strong tug on his body, he turned back around, there was nothing.

Alec faced the castle he saw in the distance. He had never felt something like this before, it was like someone pulled on him, but he was alone. How was that possible.

A forceful shiver rocked through his body it almost hurt. What?

Magnus…

His feet began to move again, slow, and then quicker with every step until he ran like his life depended on it. “Alec!” Jace screamed after him but Alec couldn’t stop, he wouldn’t stop. Magnus was in danger, he felt it, deep down in his gut. Something was wrong and he needed him. “Aleeeec!”

Alec felt tears in his eyes, his parabatai bond glowing and tugging on him, but he was moving forward nonetheless, the pull towards Magnus was stronger.

He reached the tall wall and jumped up the wall, he clutched the stones and pulled himself up with a grimace, trying to swing his leg over the edge before he lost his grip and landed on the ground.

He ran back and then sprinted forward again to jump up, his knees hitting the stones painfully, he grunted as he tried to pull himself up before he slithered back down.

He ran back once again, took off his jacket and activated his runes, before he ran forward again with more speed and jumped up as high as possible, he swung his leg over the edge and pulled himself up on top of it, panting heavily, everything hurt, his skin was bleeding, he looked over the place and got up to stand before he jumped down, rolled over the grass and began to run again.

His lungs hurt, his legs hurt, his parabatai rune hurt.

The tugging felt stronger with every step, he was close. He stopped to run and hid behind the pillars, jumping from one to the other swiftly and like the trained Shadowhunter he was. There was no use of getting caught now, he needed to pay attention.

He looked into the windows, around the corners, he saw Seelies, a lot of them, but Magnus was nowhere to be seen. But he was here, he felt it.

He heard something behind himself and turned around in shock, his blade up high to fight the danger off when he saw Jace and Izzy behind him, cuts and bruises covering their skin. Alec felt relief wash over him, he stepped forward and pulled Jace into a tight hug.

“Jace, I am so sorry. I couldn’t- Magnus- he needed me, I felt it.“ he tried to explain, his voice hoarse from all the running. Jace hugged him back.

“It’s okay, I get it.” Alec pulled back and then hugged his sister, taking in her whole body to see if she was hurt badly. She wasn’t. “What do you mean you felt it?”

“I don’t know…I can’t explain it. I felt that he was here, that he was in danger. I still feel it, but it’s faint now.”

“Like our bond?”

“No…this is different. Stronger.”

“Stronger?” Jace asked disbelieving.

Alec turned back around as he heard some rustling, they crouched down quickly. A group of Seelies passed them, there was a hint of red hair within the group.

“Clary!” Jace almost shouted and Izzy pressed her hand to her brothers’ mouth.

“Shut up you idiot. Do you want to get us killed?!” They watched how she was taken away and into some building. “At least she is still alive…and unharmed…” She whispered, Jace and Alec shared a look.

“But Magnus isn’t with her.” Jace said empathically and Alec blinked his eyes rapidly, licked his dry lips.

“He is still alive. But I…I think he is hurt, or frightened, I don’t know, it feels…it’s nothing positive. Jace…” He gasped desperately, feeling like he was spiralling into another panic attack.

“Alec, I’ve got you. Let’s track him okay?” He grabbed Alec’s hands that felt cold and sweaty “Look at me!” Alec shook his head, his eyes closed. “Alec!” Alec opened his eyes, snapping out of it and then nodded shakily before he grabbed Magnus’ engagement ring out of his pocket and placed them between his palms, Jace pressed his against them as their eyes locked together. Izzy kept watch as they tried to track him. The familiar power of their bond ran through his veins until they gasped almost simultaneously.

“We’ve got him. Come on!”

\---

Magnus was thrown into a dark room in one of the buildings, landing on all fours before he shuffled back to his feet and ran to the door which closed right in his face, he lifted his fists to slam them against the door in a desperate attempt. “Clary!” he shouted a few times and then leaned his forehead against the cold wooden door, tears stinging on the edges of his eyes.

He slammed his fists against it a few more times before he stepped back and stretched his arms up, trying to shoot magic into it but nothing happened, of course not. No no no no this can’t be true. This wasn’t happening. She was out there alone now, they could harm her, he shouldn’t have brought her here, god he was so stupid, why did he go here? Why did he bring her? Why didn’t he tell anyone? What was he thinking? He had not only put himself in danger but her also. And no one knew they were here.

What were they going to do to Clary? She said she wouldn’t harm her but what promised Magnus she was keeping her word, she was alone out there now and he couldn’t help her, couldn’t protect her.

He pushed himself away from the door again and snapped his fingers, he tried again and again but nothing happened, he knew his magic didn’t work here, the Queen told him last time, she was blocking it. But maybe if he only tried hard enough.

He took a few shaky steps back and straightened, closed his eyes and relaxed his body. He calmed his breathing as good as possible and concentrated on himself, on his magic. Nothing. There was nothing, not even a faint tingle that he usually felt below his skin. Just…nothing. He gasped and felt his chin quiver, his face turning into a grimace, he was so close to crying, to just cry his eyes out out of despair.

He took in a deep breath, and another one, calm down…calm down Magnus…

He opened his eyes again once he regained his senses and then looked at the door, he scanned it before he took a step closer again, fingering the outline of it, trying to find something, anything, a way to open or break this. He turned around to see where he was, he had to find a solution, find something.

It was a rather big room, but it was very dark, with wet stone walls, there was a single plank bed on the left side with beige covers, it didn’t look comfortable. There was a big wardrobe on the right end side, a desk, a sink and a toilet. That was it. It reminded him of a cell but then again not, like a room that was functioning as a cell, or maybe servants lived here. Did the Seelies have servants?

He stepped to the right where some light came in, it was a gap in the wall, a window without a frame, but it was fuzzy. Magnus reached forward until his fingers hit an invisible force, this was some kind of Seelie magic.

Outside he saw walls, a path, a patch of green. There wasn’t much to see. “Hello?!” He yelled as loud as possible. “Is anybody there?” Again, nothing. Okay, concentrate Magnus. Quickly he began to search the desk, the wardrobe, the bed, tried to find anything that could help him until he sighed frustrated, throwing the pillow back on the bed. Damn it!

He ran back to the window and desperately looked out into the blue, greenish sky, the leaves the fell from it. It looked so peaceful. He felt his face turn into a grimace again. He was such an idiot.

Magnus twitched the second the door opened, he turned around to face the door and backed off almost instantly, his back hitting the wall as Raj entered the room, the Seelies closing the door behind him, locking it. Magnus felt his body freeze.

Raj. The deal. 1 hour. It all rushed back to him with full force, it was like his mind had blocked it all out before. Like it didn’t happen.

“Did you think I would just let this go Warlock?” Raj snarled. “Did you think I would forget and move on? That I let you win? That I let you humiliate me like this?” He stood still. Magnus stared at his chest, he wore a leather jacket, a brown shirt beneath, dark pants, weapons, 1 on his thigh, 1 in his boot, his nails were chipped. His brain registered all those things despite the fact he wasn’t really there, it seemed like his mind brought him somewhere else, as some kind of protection.

Raj took a step forward. “I am talking to you.” He spat and Magnus snapped out of it, unfortunately.

“W-Where is Clary?” He stuttered, hating he sounded so frightened, he should sound strong. Raj smirked. “Is she okay?”

“Maybe.”

“I need her to be safe.” Magnus whispered and then swallowed. “Just tell me if she is okay.” He said a little louder.

“I won’t tell you shit.” Raj reached to his thigh and grabbed his dagger and Magnus eyes now finally focused on him, focused on the situation, he wasn’t here to talk. He was here for payback. “Not so brave anymore now without your magic hm?” He teased and walked closer to the Warlock in the corner.

Magnus inhaled deeply and a moment of silence followed where both men didn’t move until Magnus jumped aside and ran to the desk, he grabbed it with both hands on each side and lifted it up into the air before throwing it against the approaching Shadowhunter, Raj yelped loudly obviously not having expected that and Magnus’ strength and landed on the ground, the dagger falling aside with a loud clatter.

Magnus darted forward, he knew he couldn’t hold the dagger but maybe he could kick it away, out of his reach but before he could reach it Raj grabbed his leg, holding him in place, Magnus swirled around and kicked his face with his heel, the Shadowhunter groaned and was out of it for a moment before he focused a second later, damn runes!

Raj jumped to his feet and grabbed Magnus head roughly before pulling down and slamming his knee into his face, Magnus was thrown back with the force and landed on his ass, he felt his whole head throb, his nose hurt like hell, something dropped down his chin that tasted like iron.

“You never learn right? You can’t defeat me Warlock, you are nothing without your powers. You are weak.” Magnus lifted his shaky fingers to his nose, feeling the blood, he had to concentrate, but he was shaking too hard. “Pathetic. Really.” Raj added and then picked his dagger up and tucked it away. “You know what Jace did to me? What Alec did to my friends? To me? They banished me, my own people. They stood on your side, on a demon’s side. Disgusting.” Magnus lifted his watery eyes up to Raj, pressing his jaws together, his brow furrowed.

“You got what you deserved.” Magnus said firmly and Raj’s face twitched.

“You can’t keep your filthy little mouth shut hm? It’s like you want what’s coming for you. Maybe you do…”

“I will enjoy what’s coming for you.” Magnus returned, his eyes sparkling, Raj immediately crouched down and held Magnus by the shirt, his fist landing on Magnus’ nose again, Magnus cried out as the pain rocked through him and nearly got him unconscious for a second. He was sure his nose was broken by now. Magnus felt fuzzy, the room was spinning, he felt himself being thrown to the ground, Raj hovering over him, it felt like a déjà vu, he froze again.

1 hour. This was manageable. He has just had to endure this for one hour. The Queen wanted him back whole so he didn’t need to fear him cutting off his limbs or something. Concentrate Magnus. Stick through it.

“The Queen wants me back unharmed.” Magnus said, trying to relax his voice so it wasn’t quivering. Raj’s expression darkened as he obviously remembered the deal. He grabbed Magnus’ shirt and then cleaned his face with it while Magnus groaned in pain. He grabbed Magnus’ nose; Magnus tried to slap his hands away before a loud crack echoed through the room as Raj snapped it back into place. Magnus sobbed loudly as the pain almost made him faint.

1 hour.

“There are other ways to get my revenge. Ways that leave no visible harm. I never got to finish what I began-“ Raj spat, his sweat dripping down his face and into Magnus’ face. Magnus felt Raj’s finger slide over his cheek and lip, tugging on it.

Magnus eyes widened. Panic rose in his chest but he tried to fight it down, tried to stay concentrated. He tugged his head up and bit into Raj’s finger forcefully who screamed and leaned back.

“Fuck!” He held his bleeding finger. Magnus could see his mind work as he obviously realized that that wasn’t a good plan. His eyes landed on Magnus’ abdomen and flickered back up. “I think I know a better way to take revenge on you and your Shadowhunter. I’ll just take what’s his. That’s what you like, right? You’re a little warlock slut.” He grabbed Magnus’ pants and pulled on them roughly before Magnus even understood the meaning of those words.

Magnus pulled his legs to his chest and kicked the Shadowhunter off of him before he swung around and tried to get up, he felt a weight on him right after, slamming him to the ground. “Get off me!” He bucked his back up until he felt a dagger against his throat, almost cutting his skin, Magnus froze immediately. He moved the blade to his nape swiftly and caused him to lay down lower, his cheek pressed against the cold ground.

“If you try shit, I will fucking stab you Warlock.” Magnus breathed slowly, not moving an inch. “Take off your pants.” Magnus felt his whole body twitch, like a spark ran through it.

“Raj please-”

“Do what I said!” Raj yelled and pressed the dagger into his skin, almost piercing it. Magnus lifted his hips from the ground and reached down with shaky fingers to open his fly and zipper. “Quicker! I don’t have all day.” Magnus gasped and then grabbed his pants and shoved them down a bit. Raj grabbed his pants and yanked them down to his thighs along with his boxers. Magnus felt his body go tense the moment he felt the cold against his skin.

“Please Raj, don’t-“ Magnus whispered, not caring that he turned into a whiny mess, that he was pleading.

“I know you want this Warlock; I know you enjoy it; you must be good at it when Alec fell for you so hard. It will teach you the lesson you need, you will never be disrespectful to me or another Shadowhunter again.” Magnus shifted his eyes up to the window, it was a beautiful morning sky, his mind trying to get him away from there, he closed his eyes and went to the place he felt the safest, the happiest, right by Alec’s side.

‘Magnus, from the moment I saw you, I knew I could never stay away from you, I tried but I couldn’t. I was selfish and wanted to be near you and I felt you wanted that too-’ Magnus breathed slowly as Alec’s words ran through his mind. ‘I never planned on falling in love with you all over again, but I did. I got to know this other side of you, a side I didn’t know before, the man behind all the glitter, the one you were before, the pure you-‘ A tear rolled down his face, he felt hands on his body, his body shifting, but it was like it was far away, like he wasn’t there. ‘I learned so much about you these past months, things I never knew. I learned about your past, your hobbies, your navel, your fear of water, your ex, the way you turn into a ball when you sleep, the way your ears blush when you are embarrassed-‘ A smile formed on his lips. ‘Your love for dancing, you are…you are so wonderful Magnus, everything of you and I fell in love with this…with you.’

Magnus inhaled sharply as he heard a loud thud, a weight falling off his body. He opened his eyes slowly, his mind slowly focused, returning into reality, his eyes clearing, he looked to his right to see someone lie on the ground, he needed a moment to realize it was Raj and another to notice the arrow buried deep in his body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhm...yay? Alec is there? Raj is down? A little happy dance? No? I know, this was tough, it all led to that, back to Raj and his betrayal and Magnus stepped right into their trap 😶 Were you surprised or was this obvious to you? Who do you hate more now, the Queen or Raj? And was that Alec feeling a bond to Magnus? Stronger than his parabatai bond? We are emotional and with we I mean I 🤧 Do you think the Queen can and will help Magnus? Was it wise to sign the deal? So many questions, please let me know your answers and thoughts! The angst will stick for a bit but believe me, it will get better and will be perfect. Thank you for reading and leaving comments and kudos! 😘
> 
> PS. I hope you read the tags carefully like I suggested in the upper notes and if you did not, please do it now.

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a kudo if you enjoy it! Also, please write a comment and tell me what you think, I appreciate the feedback a lot and love to hear from you 😁 I will read and reply to all! You can also find me on Twitter: @Skyffable use #HometownSmilefic if you wanna chat about it. Much love. 🤗
> 
> [](https://ibb.co/NWFnwqp)  



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